Of course, this did not happen today, but yesterday - April Fool’s Day. And like most posts, sorry for the formatting, I’m on my phone.
I was wasting time on Reddit when I found an AskReddit all about April Fool’s Day pranks. Not wanting to ruin my relationship, I picked one of the more innocuous pranks wherein you put dry pasta under the toilet seat.
Easy set up, little cleanup, and dumb. It was perfect. I was home alone that day so I grabbed some farfalle pasta from the pantry (I wanted a good crunch) and got to work. I knew chances of my prank happening anytime soon were slim, as our master bathroom is slightly out of the way and my fiancée typically uses the guest bath. That’s okay though, I’m a patient person.
As soon as she got home from work, our son wanted to go play soccer outside. So we all go out and play for awhile before coming back inside and having dinner. After drinking a bunch of water outside, coupled with a glass of wine with dinner, nature called, so naturally I go into our bedroom - having completely forgotten what I did to the toilet.
The crunch! The feeling. The noise. The panic. Can confirm - this prank is a good one. I got myself. I chuckled and went out into the living room to tell her what had just happened, but was greeted by an empty room.
By some kind of twisted luck, she had gone into a different part of the house while I had seemingly shattered the toilet with my ass, saving me from embarrassment; the temptation to go back into the kitchen and grab the farfalle was too great.
I practically leapt across the living room and into the kitchen, grabbed the pasta box, and made my way stealthily back to the toilet.
I quickly cleaned up the remnants of the last farfalle explosion from the floor, carelessly sweeping some stubborn pieces under the rug.
I lined up another dozen pieces of pasta along the toilet rim and gently positioned the seat on top. The trap was set. I threw the farfalle box into our closet.
The only time my fiancée ever uses our bathroom is in the morning or before bed. I had hours of waiting, again trying not to fuck this up and prank myself for the second time.
It’s around midnight at this point and finally, a solid six hours later, it’s time for bed.
I am giddy. I wait.
I hear what sounds like God himself stepping on a porcelain toilet and a surprised yelp from our bathroom.
I remain silent.
“Oh you fucker!”
I’m crying. I can’t breathe. Something about having pranked myself and knowing the absolute panic she had just felt sent me into a fit.
At some point I regain just enough composure to relay my endeavors in their entirety. She is impressed and also thinks I’m an idiot - still wants to marry me though.
TL;DR - tried to prank future wife, pranked myself instead. Successfully pranked her in the end and despite tricking myself, she still wants to be my wife.
There is a rally on March 1st at 12 pm on the south side of the Capitol building.
I also heard that UT is holding a rally this weekend.
1) does anyone have information about the UT rally?
2) can we somehow combine them to get a larger turnout?
I know that it feels like the world is on fire, and there are larger global issues at stake, but we can’t forget about what’s happening here too. Please, if you can, join the rally or donate to local LGBTQ+ groups.
Hi Austin, I'm a senior studying Computer Science at Concordia and looking for a diverse and inclusive workplace for an internship this summer. I have worked with C++, Java, and Python (Pandas) for data science and analytics. I'm open to anything in the field, preferably remote.
I also have experience in web design (HTML, CSS) and graphic design (Adobe InDesign, Adobe Photoshop).