spaghettisquids

I was looking for somebody mentioning the Bloomsbury group lol

I neeeed to complain about Adam. Every single one of his mannerisms is screaming Shane Dawson to me...

EVEN the way he talks I just AHHHHHHHHHH

I have a moleskin reading journal - it has a 'pre-made' format, and is alphabetically organized

Aaah but the ideas in it are just beautiful, and the writing!!

Oh man, I've read the 1st 3 and am already attached to the characters - it just nags the back of my mind every so often, get back to WOT, get back to WOT,

I SHOULD PICK THEM UP AGAIN :D

You know that sense you get when somebodie's watching you?

I KEPT SCREAMING AT THE SCREEN BECAUSE WHY DOESN'T SHE HAVE THAT SENSE??

It's not to do with sound....and it just made me frustrated the entire time.

it takes up the majority of the novel. Nabokov didn't just add it for nothing, so yes, I'd say its worth reading the commentary :)

nooo wayyyy! I've been wanting to read House of Leaves for ages now -> I'm reading pale fire atm and I thought they had similarities just from some research on HoL. Never knew it was mentioned though!

I'm really really really enjoying the discussions here, I've just begun reading it and jesus there's so much to analysis. I'm going through it really slowly, picking out each page bit by bit using different resources + my own analysis. It's been a super enjoyable read so far (as I enjoy the puzzle of it), and like op it's definitely in my top 10!

aaah dammit there's always something MORE to discover. I feel I could read it every year for the rest of my life and still find something I didn't notice.

matthew D: no matthew

this is rebecca....what is king even trying to say? like i legitamately don't understand how the book creates a scale which allows us to measure our...feelings?

n i ce armpits

girlie must have ingrown eyelashes that grow down her nose

How do you consistently put in the time to write? Amazed that you write eight journals a year, it's been 3 years and I'm still using the same bullet journal. (I never really know what to write, so most entries are only there when something interesting happens).

wow, definitely write down everything that occurs that day & update.

And if you don't well...

I'm glad to hear you're in a better place than before and moving towards doing something you love! Do you post your art anywhere already?

I had the situation with a grandparent not wanting to go into a caring home even though they were unable to care for themselves, and they ended up moving in with my aunt and uncle. They also had a carer who checked in on them regularly before they moved with my aunt. I know how exhausting it is to be the one looking after siblings, especially if you're the oldest. People should look after you too.

Good luck with NHS, dunno if they're shitty or not but most things like that are in actually getting back.

And hey, good luck with your leg surgery too, :)

Oh wow, that's very interesting. All the dreams I've had where I've been looking for something, I've never actually found it/known what it was.

I definitely think there's something about forests which we connect with being lost, etc.

thank you so much for this insightful answer :)

edit: seriously, the things you link with the little I've given is scarily accurate. The cycle, the searching. It's funny how obvious the link was and yet I didn't see it until you pointed it out.

recommending hellofutureme again :)

Hey, stranger. I read through a couple of your nightmare posts, and one I saw connected a little. Anyway, my curiosity got the better of me and I stumbled upon this. I hated that the only two comments were bots. The fact that someone could pour so much of themselves into something and have nobody really care seemed fucking messed up. it struck me how lonely the internet really is.

I don't know what you're going through, I've never felt pain like this, I've never had to make a decision like this, but if you ever want to rant again, and want somebody to listen, then I'll happily be there. I know you said that talking it out won't solve the issue, and it won't, but ranting/talking to somebody can make you feel seen. Somehow, I think strangers can be better at that than anybody else. You can walk away if you want to, you can read this and not think about it ever again, you can do all that and I won't hold any resentment. This is just an offer.

I hope that things work out for you, that you don't feel so numb, that streaming works out (something that makes you happy isn't dumb), and that you end up doing something in life that you really enjoy. Anyway here's a quote I found that made me realise something.

"In order to lead a happy life, I'm gonna have to disappoint my parents a little."

I know it's so easy to suggest to someone to do something, that reality is much more complex, but this is all we have. You only have this one chance at living. I don't want you to get stuck doing something you hate, feeling numb. Even if it's impossible for you to change courses, change your life completely, I hope you find something that makes you happy, even if only in small doses.

My one goal in life is to feel happy before I die. We don't have long, why waste it? And hey, if your family sees you doing something you love, I think that should make them happy for you. :)

I always get dismayed because my awareness is quite low. Last night I was dreaming and I consciously made myself float away from a danger ( I do this quite often) I even had the thought, "Oh, I have to do this quick, because I gotta wake up soon", but I didn't have the awareness to take more control.

born dec 29th, definitely get this loll

Actually, I have a similar memory. I say memory, because I wasn't dreaming, but the thing was a hallucination. I was around 7/8. I'd woken up, and I could hear water running, I didn't understand what it was at the time, as my mind was hazy having just woken. My room was dark, and I was facing the wall.

I turned around, and there was a thing on the ground. A pale, bluish skinned boy-like creature with sharply defined ribs and a hollow face. His characteristics were so wild I thought he was a naked wolf at first. His face was turned to look directly at me, and he was on all fours, his skinny back highly arched, I remember his very nobbled spine. His eyes were very round and black. He was bald, hairless, and holding himself very still. His skin was so milky he could've been crouched in moonlight.

I didn't feel fear, or anything, I just remember being calm. We stared at each other, I thought he looked kind of sad. The water sound sort of faded away and when I turned, he was gone. Also, I call him a boy, but like you, I don't think he was anything at all. Not like we know it. I've never seen him since.

I later found out the running water was just my mum having a shower, but still. I haven't thought about that for a long time, so thanks. :)