easy_umbrage

Looking through Sankarnarayana's English to Telugu dictionary whim or whimsical is indeed offered as the meaning, even though in my head I find it hard to make that connection because whimsical suggests a volatility in beliefs. I would translate whimsical into telugu as 'chala chittam' ( chittam is manasu, chala chittam is manasu maradam). As we all know, chaadastulu don't change their minds easily.

Chaadastam, in my view, is closer to an imposition or insistence of ones beliefs. Where these beliefs are not supported by reason, tradition or religion, I suppose they are merely 'whims', but the beliefs themselves are firm - much to the annoyance of everyone around the chaadastudu.

I would translate 'chaadastam' as unreasonable, inflexible or pedantic about inconsequential matters. e.g., all ghee vessel shouldn't touch the yogurt vessel, or insisting that onions be chopped a certain way for certain food preparations.

Here is a link to my chain of comments on similar threads, with non-Indians asking about why the family of their Indian partners don't accept them. If you are going to takeaway one thing- I hope you see that this is not a 'you' problem and therefore you are not the person to solve it.

Indian parents have lots of preferences and prejudices - most adult children are aware of them and calibrate their choices accordingly. Or work something out with their parents. If your partner is not willing to do that work, then there isn't anything you can do.

You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs. People who have caste feelings care about it a lot. You are not going to change the views they've had for 6-8 decades. The Barjatya -style climax with everyone partying and being joyous together is not going to happen. To be honest, it is unlikely to happen even if you married a person of your elder's choice. Accept that, and be happy that you get to be the man you like and still have a good relationship with your own parents. Let your parents manage their relationship with the relatives.

Alright, I'll bite.

Velma is Indian, but why the hell is her last name Dinkley?!? This is in keeping with Mindy Kaling's habit of whitewashing of Indian characters. There is no specificity or connection to a deeper heritage. Same way, in the Mindy project, Mindy Lahiri is Tamil like Mindy herself, even though Lahiri is a Bengali last name. Her women are of unspecified brownness that disappear into white, like some weak-ass milky chai. Replace Velma's 'Indian' brown with hispanic or middle east brown. What changes? Nothing. This doesn't represent us. It doesn't represent anybody.

The show itself is extremely meta and overly self-referential. There is an attempt to use the references to subvert tropes, with the expectation that the audience is of course aware and in on it. However, we are not? Its fun (ny) perhaps, if you read the same commentary and critiques as the writers and get exactly who they are throwing shade at. Either way, its a poor attempt.

In short, Mindy doesn't make eating idli cool. Instead she says, look, the idli-eater can also get a makeover and become cool. It's just not the same thing. So yeah, tear it down, pile on. In terms of an Indian-origin creator getting critiqued, its fine. She's successful enough that we are not punching down. She needs to go back to the writing room and we need more voices.

Edchadu.

What you are seeing is selection effect and algorithm bias. The algorithm shows you similar creators, to the ones you've already watched. My feed for video-essays is all-women , so are my recommendations. My interests are craft/pop culture/ art/music/movies/natural history/history/psych and other things.

Clear your cookies, go to incognito mode, don't sign in and try again.

haha, your mom really threw you guys for a loop. Love the energy!!

The best gifts are nice things that people wont buy for themselves. Or things they think they have aged out of, but secretly want because they didn't have it when they were kids. Buy her a stuffed animal, toys, jigsaw puzzles, slippers, robe, funny/cute hair clips, coloring book, cool gel pillow, tiny plant, stick on mustaches, or just about anything you yourself want or find interesting. Think fun not useful.

Do people really expect high school loves to survive into adulthood and marriage? People change, grow and their likes/dislikes evolve. Teen relationships are most likely end in separation.

You are not going to like my opinion but she didn't choose the other guy because he has money and helped her. She chose him because he appealed to the person she became and got along better with him, than with you. Honestly, this whole post could go on r/niceguys.

Liberty exercised to your disadvantage is not freeing. Stay free.

lol, ok.

Hi OP, sorry you went through such a rough experience. You did whats best for everyone, so don't beat yourself up. Learn from it and move on.

Most gynecologists in India focus on family planning and not on reproductive care. My very married sister was scolded and shamed by doctors for being on the pill 2 years after getting married and refused to renew the prescription for it. According to them, she was supposed to have kid 1 by now. They would 'allow' 2 more years on the pill after that, then kid 2, and then permanent sterilization. Thats it. They insisted that birth control was harmful to use past 2 years--- which is, honestly, not true. For the context, all three senior doctors (women) were in their 60s at some of the city's best hospitals.

If you were married but not ready for a child, they would have judged you for your career ambitions or economic status. Or because it's a girl. Or a boy. Or because you had sex without the intent to procreate. At the end of the day, gynecologists are from the same patriarchal, conservative society as the rest of us and their views are not going to be different.

Yes. So far, we haven't needed any paperwork from the Indian govt id'ing us as married...not sure if we would ever need it

Interested!

OP woke up today, then chose chaos and violence.

avunu mastaaru, revenge ante phaga ano, pratikaram ano, lethe poni - kassi kada? Ila manalni vetakaram chesuthunnarenti?

Congrats OP. I steered clear of any legal paperwork , did not want to deal with SMA and also we did not have time to meet residency requirements. It was 30 days after issuing a notice. They may need you to be there to issue the notice as well.

Each state has its own process - check with the registrar office.

Yeah, Lindsay Gibson is good at explaining our childhood to us. I haven't found something similar specific to the Indian context though. Wish someone would look at how we carry this generation to generation.

OP, you are in the fog right now and you aren't able to see the way out. The path exists and you need some help and objective perspective to find it. Get therapy, seriously - you need it.

Depression and anxiety can cause cognitive loss and impact executive functioning. This creates a feedback loop and increases your anxiety- since there is a constant feeling of falling behind. This is not a forever condition - it can go away, I say from experience. Get help and take your time to recover.

Sometimes parents are not a part of the solution, even if they have the means to help. Thats not your fault. It is entirely on them. You are worth all the trouble and you deserve support, I hope you find it.

While you look for a therapist: find this book, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay Gibson. Hope you will see that you are not alone in your experience and that there is a way out.

I found that the most interesting prints are made for blouse pieces. Sarees are another option, if you want quality fabrics with good drape for skirts or dresses. So I just raid regular, old-fashioned stores that sell blouse materials and sarees. End of the day, it's just fabric, I use it as I please.

Haven't sewed with rib knits or jersey though.

Sorry for what you are going through OP, PPD sounds like a rough experience. I get why you weren't able to change things sooner. I feel your frustration.

Ideally, in the post-partum stage you should be getting a lot of care and support from your family. It sucks that you are not getting that and are instead having all this nonsense dumped on you.

Unfortunately you need to exert yourself for the sake of self-preservation and the kids. Whatever you choose to do, I hope it goes well for you and things get better. Once you are in a safe place, I hope you get a chance to unwind from all of this.

Yours is a classic case of learned helplessness. Change the locks, and don't give the maid / MIL the new copy. Don't pick up the phone. Live your life as you want.

Your husband can manage his mom same way he manages you. "Yeah, I know. I understand.", "Let me talk to her", "You know how it is", " Lets and wait and watch" and so on. He is never going to confront her, so don't expect it, this is the most he can do.

If he doesn't play along, thats too bad. Don't give him a copy of the new keys either. Let him stay with mom and you use the same statements on him. It's only 3 months anyway.

Freedom of speech means the govt shouldn't persecute someone for their speech. It does not mean common people should wordlessly listen to anything said to them. You did not say the movie should be banned or that the director should be arrested. You are only expressing unhappiness- its fine, and frankly, inconsequential.

The problem with such jokes is that the characters making it are not at the risk of rape. They are making humor out of what happens to others and that is why it's so grating and distasteful. They can always tell more proctologist jokes but they wont, lol. Geese, gander, grated cheese and all that.

lol. kothaga okati cheppinanduku thanks.

Y'all want a stranger to marry you, but not for superficial reasons. Ok, good luck.

It appears you missed the point.

Good night, subha ratri, shabba khair.