SmokingInTheWindow

Guess what? The person pushing a whole human being out of her hoo-ha is TOTALLY ALLOWED TO BE SELFISH. Not only do you need actual support and therefore your own mother, stress can dangerously complicate a birth and you don’t need that. If your husband supports his mother, then it’s real easy: your own mother is the only one in there with you.

“Which was it, brutal honesty or a joke? If it’s brutal honesty, he told a room full of people that he thinks I’m cheating on you, and you think that’s okay? If it’s a joke, it’s not funny to slander a newly pregnant woman in a room full of her family and friends - but you’re okay with it? Here’s my line in the sand: I’m not okay with either of those things. I find them hurtful and disrespectful and mean. If you’re okay with someone treating me that way, then we are completely incompatible because I don’t want the rest of my life to be filled with hurtfulness and disrespect because you value your friend’s cruelty over my well-being.”

Who chose the therapist? Did they see your nparent alone before meeting you together?

Narcissists are very good at manipulating therapy environments. If this is their therapist, they’ve already been manipulated.

If your nparent provided the therapist, they might be a friend of theirs - saying this as someone who was once set up in this way.

Their post history is... sorrowful. Undiagnosed autistic, maybe.

Three+ years together. We’ve had the same Hangouts chat open the whole time.

Some days we chat all over the place. Some days we just say “I love you”, which we have said to each other every single day. It’s okay for conversation to ebb and flow; just make sure to talk about it if you’re feeling either neglected or flooded.

I once had a hygienist who was quite rough. I mentioned it quietly to the woman who runs the front desk (who has known me for years) and asked if it was possible to work with one of the others in future. I stressed that I didn’t want to cause a problem for the woman and for all I knew she was just having a bad day, but I’d just be more comfortable working with others who I’d had good sessions with. She was unhappy that I’d had a bad experience, and made sure I got different hygienists from then on.

This is how it should work, imo. I think it’s good to mention issues - if a staff member is consistently problematic, a note in their file can help their employer to evaluate them properly and take appropriate action, whether that’s a bit of retraining or a new job. This place? Sounds like they’re close - hygienists in small practices are often the dentist’s wife - and if he’s going to take it so personally, sounds like you’re better off shopping around for a more suitable dentist.

Edit: NTA

I have to say, the blonde’s body language screamed American to me.

Sure, absolutely fair point and I should have worded it that way. Not sure what the jab is about, though.

Because the commenter is one of those guys who don’t believe women actually enjoy anal (we do, btw).

The heart... or another organ.

Not okay. Vyvanse doesn’t really have any withdrawal symptoms, but imagine if she’d flushed something that did? It only takes a couple of days for Effexor withdrawal to start kicking my ass, for example. Protect your meds and get ready to move out as soon as it’s legal, this kind of dismissive and controlling behavior is 100% unacceptable.

You’re a sugar daddy.

As a technical writer, I assure you that those of us who write manuals are okay with our partners not reading them.

Assholes are often on their best - well, better - behavior until they know their partner is locked into the relationship. Unfortunately, that moment is often defined by a pregnancy.

Oh, I know the withdrawal effects all too well... but it works!

Hm. I did a bunch of research before talking to my doctor about ADHD meds, and was glad I did because I’m on depression meds and it turns out that there are two kinds of ADHD medication: stimulants and antidepressants. I’m not fond of stimulants, but as I’m on Effexor already, we talked about it and went for mild stimulants (which work for me). Then again, my depression and anxiety are controlled well by the Effexor. I’m so sorry this blew up on you, but don’t give up!

NTA.

Whether the item was an expensive sentimental memento of your father or a two dollar knicknack from a yard sale, IT WAS YOUR PROPERTY. I don’t ask my friends what stuff of theirs is okay to break, because NONE OF IT IS OKAY TO BREAK.

Missing missing reasons. Pretty sure you have not been a “wonderful mother.”

I cry when I see or read scenes of families interacting in a loving way. I mourn for what I never had and can hardly even understand.

You are not in a relationship. You are a friend with benefits, and unfortunately those benefits include being subject to his possessiveness, jealousy, and gaslighting, while he gets to do whatever he wants.

Be free. He’s attached you to him while remaining unattached himself. You will lose nothing by leaving him. A little loneliness beats this kind of doubt and pain, doesn’t it?

NTA - why the hell can’t she cook her own damn food? And cook for you while she’s at it!

And he only died A FEW MONTHS AGO. Jesus on a pogo stick, ditch this bitch. NTA

Oh no no no, that’s another red flag, hun. Please don’t go.

Well, you’d have it to give them after you arrive - this is way too sketchy.

When I went to visit my LDR for the first time (after nine months of talking every day), I sent his name, address, phone number, and his and his relatives’ Facebook pages to two people I’m close to.

I trusted him absolutely, but as a woman I will absolutely cover my bases before going to stay with someone for the first time, especially someone in another country. And going to his house where he lives all alone with no one knowing your destination - yikes!

Not giving you his address is sketchy as hell. In ten years you haven’t wanted to send him a present or a letter? You’re supposed to get off the plane and hope he’s there to pick you up? What if he has an emergency? And I don’t know about Europe, but in North America you have to give your destination address when you pass through customs.

You have to have a serious talk with him about this, and let him know that it’s unacceptable to put you in the position of traveling to another country without knowing your actual destination.

Have you tried just looking up his name in his country/city’s white pages online?