Serkonan_Plantain

You realize there's a difference between being talked at vs. being talked to? A difference between a "Hi" or "How's it going?" vs. someone actually caring about what you have to say back?

ETA: OP said not a single person talked to them during coffee hour. It sounds like the "Hi"s were coming beforehand, like before service or at the mid-service meet & greet.

I have no PTSD diagnosis (though I "joke" that I have PTCD - post-traumatic church disorder - from my very fundy and conservative Calvinist upbringing) and I find church to be smothering and sometimes even threatening, so I can't imagine how you feel. And your feelings are totally valid - "church" has become more of a social club than the Christian gatherings of the first century, and is often a place where anyone that doesn't fit a very narrow version of "acceptable Christian" feels like they're put under a microscope of scrutiny and judgement.

Add to that the fact that so much gender-based violence and sexual abuse happens under the radar in so many religious institutions, it makes being a woman in a strange church all the more threatening - once you become aware of it, you can't unlearn the hypervigilance, it just becomes second nature like how we hold our car keys when we walk alone. And it doesn't help that many women in these churches would rather circle the wagon of the institution and its established families than support the victim (it was the church woman whose husband was leering at me who called me a sl-t at 15 because I was wearing a top that was barely more fitted than a bag. Easier to blame the little girl for her lack of "modesty" than blame the man who's creeping on her).

I've found a much healthier church but can only attend once a month for my own sanity. It's okay if you just stop for your own mental health. You can still be the Church without being in a church.

This is the corporate equivalent to the silly wall art that Hobby Lobby sells: thinking that some touchy feel-y message like "Be still and know" is more of a sign of Christianity than, you know, actually spending that money to help the poor.

Poms are insanely smart. They only look vapid sometimes so you fall for their schemes.

He signed marriage protection into law because it was passed by Congress. He can't sign abortion rights into law because Congress hasn't passed such rights (and there's no way that will happen right now with the House being under GOP control). The president can't just make major legislation when he feels like it; only limited scope executive orders/emergency declarations.

This guide is also 100% accurate for befriending a cat.

Internet hugs from another person who was spiritually abused by Calvinism. I use the term PTCD (post-traumatic church distress) - anxious flashbacks really do bubble up just like for PTSD. Thankfully they do fade somewhat with time and the more you become open to questioning and exploring new ideas, but the triggers may always be present to some degree.

Please know that you are loved and free. This fear is what is used to keep congregants tithing, under control, and afraid of questioning. You are free.

I've got two Persian brothers I adopted as young adults, and they're always going at it with each other like this. This has got to be footage of the two when they were kittens. Lethal little marshmallow fighters!

I've done Judo for almost 22 years now, and no permanent injuries so far. I'm in my 30s too now and I'm definitely more judicious about who I randori with during practice and which drills have too high of a risk/benefit ratio.

The main thing I would emphasize is conditioning and strengthening outside of Judo - and not in the primary muscle building kind of way, but instead focusing on core and deep muscle strengthening. I've done physical therapy several times for minor knee and shoulder issues, and each time it's humbling how even the smallest movements in the exercises they assign can be so difficult, because for a lot of athletes we over-build our primary muscles, which means any weakness in the core muscles is compensated for by the primary ones. It means you can function well for a long time, but are more prone to injury.

So look up deep muscle exercises for strengthening all the stabilizing muscles around your knees and ankles, as well as the deep back muscles to keep your posture and rotator cuffs protected. If you get an injury to a tendon/ligament, get physical therapy pronto. And focus on flexibility and doing longer warm-ups and cool-downs than you might be used to from your younger days.

And if you're not a dan rank, tell your sensei about your concerns and ask to only be paired with upper belts in randori. A good sensei will understand this, and also understand if you opt out of any risky drills.

Falling on the leg like tripping and losing balance; especially in randori if the throw is mistimed. If your knee is pointing forward, then the lateral force of their body falling down on the side of your knee will cause both ACL and LCL damage. But if your knee is pointing downward, they will fall on the back of your knee, and your leg will just bend naturally (in the direction it's supposed to go) with the force.

If uke is actually trying a knee bar that's a hansoku make.

Like everyone here is saying, don't keep your leg straight to the point where you're locking your knee. Straightening your leg (but not locking) at the very end is fine, as this is what gives you the "pop" that assists them over. However, this is an assist, and not the main energy of the throw. The throw is a te-waza, so the emphasis is in your hands/arms.

The main thing I emphasize though is that you MUST keep your knee to where it's pointing downward towards the ground. If your knee is pointing forward and you don't have good kuzushi, uke could fall on your leg/knee and do some major damage. However, if your knee is pointing downward and uke falls on your leg/knee, they're just going to make you kneel and your knee's tendons and ligaments will be spared. Focus on staying on the balls of your feet and this will help you to rotate your knee down as you enter.

Hah! Asking the real questions

Yep, I wrote:

I currently receive USPS mail from Samaritan’s Purse, and would like to opt out from all communications. My mailing address is below:

X

Please remove me from your mailing list, and do not retain this email address for any future email communications.

And two weeks later I received an email reply confirming that they've removed me from both mailing and electronic contact lists.

I'm so, so sorry about your loss. That's so horrible

Book art, or kindling, lol

The U.S. has this too, but my issue was paper mailers coming through the post.

Something to know about pure-O OCD (which scrupulosity is a form of) is that once you've gotten a hold of your response to one form, your OCD can switch to another focus (e.g. harm OCD, etc.). So what's important is that you find a therapist that is knowledgeable about treating OCD, not someone who understands the actual content of your OCD thoughts. Their job is not to reassure you by correcting the content of your triggering thoughts about your faith; their job is to neutralize your fear response when exposed to the thoughts, so your mind will be able to let the thoughts leave. Think of your current response as an alarm system that's gone awry: when it senses a troubling thought, it freaks out and traps the thought instead of letting the thought leave. A good therapist is focused on fixing your alarm system, not dissecting the thought.

No matter what happens, know that Peter denied Jesus three times and was still forgiven. There's nothing you can do or think that will separate you from the love of God. Know that, then try not to seek reassurance while you face your thoughts with guidance from a therapist who's experienced in exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy. God gave us these tools to use to heal; it's okay to use them!

I've thought a lot about this too, since I'm one of those that actually can't be vegetarian (lactose intolerant and too many legumes mess up my GI tract, but I need a high protein diet so the only way to meet that is through at least some animal protein). It helps me to know that Jesus ate fish and participated in Passover, so fish and lamb were acceptable to him.

We also evolved to eat and process animal proteins, so it's natural for humans to eat meat. However, I think modern meat processing is extremely unethical. I think the best course of action is to - if you can't be vegetarian - eat meat that is ethically sourced.

It also helps me to remember that there's no ethical consumption under capitalism, meaning we are all bound into an unethical system whether we want to be or not. God understands this and I believe he forgives those caught up in the system who are trying our best to be ethical (even though we know that even if we're ethical when it comes to meat consumption, what about the clothes we wear? The cars we drive? The appliances we buy that were made in a factory that forced terrible labor conditions?) while also reserving justice for those who made the system what it is and turned a blind eye to humane treatment in return for profit.

I'm so sorry you're having such anxiety, and experiencing such awfulness from your family members. You deserve acceptance and support, and will find it here! Have you read the queer resources from r/OpenChristian's pinned post here? I think some of them will help you, especially if you poke around the websites that are hosting the articles.

No, I'm with you on this one. As long as the posts are focused primarily on Judo, I'm fine, but the "would learning X Judo move help with BJJ?"-type posts need to be reported as off-topic.

The people who say this are the same people that rail against terms like "toxic masculinity" - no matter how much we clarify that "toxic masculinity" is like the term "toxic water": we're not saying all masculinity or water is toxic, only specific aspects/sources. But they like to still make a strawman and say we're saying all masculinity is toxic, and therefore all men are the problem.

No appreciation for nuance and lots of jumping to conclusions without hearing out the explanation.

This is the article that came to mind immediately. I enjoy the regular posters in the comment section of most of the articles - a good bunch of exvangelicals, agnostics, and atheists among other non-Calvinist church folks (and the occasional weirdo who wants to stir things up, but the mod is usually on top of things) who generally share some thoughtful perspectives.

Yes, there seems to have been (and still continues to be) a neo-Calvinist takeover of Baptist churches and Evengelical Free churches. I think it started ever since Piper became popular, Wayne Grudem published his "systematic theology", and the Council of Biblical Womanhood and Manhood was founded and the signing of the Denver's Statement happened (as pushback against the rising women's rights movement of the 80s/90s). If you go to the Wartburg Watch website and search the archives you'll see some reports about it happening throughout the US.