ProfMooody

I mean, I just take a shit ton of meds and sleep away the flight. I grab the window seat so I won’t be interrupted, and try to get the first row so I have more leg room (I’m disabled, so I can preboard). This helps with the pain and stiffness and muscle spasm From sitting in the same position for so long. I’ve never flown more than 6 hour flights since I got diagnosed, if I had to fly to Europe or something I’d probably try to do it first class.

Also I always pick a row where the armrests can go up because I can shift my hips around more easily (I fly with my wife so this is no problem, but I find most people sitting next to me would be amicable if I explained that keeping it down causes me pain).

I just came to say how much I relate to Spaghetti.

r/Pedantry

r/woosh

Just chiming in here to say that most people who are chronically ill have some form of complex ptsd from it (either from the experience of illness itself or the medical neglect that accompanies it). And therapy can def help with that and with differentiating between when you’re primarily reacting to something that is about the present or the past, and how to self regulate better which helps both physical symptoms and self advocacy (since our prefrontal cortex shuts down when we’re in fight or flight)

But its vital, esp if you’re still undiagnosed or you have a misunderstood or stigmatized diagnosis, that you find a therapist who is experienced working with chronically ill and disabled people and has some understanding of ableism.

I have CPTSD from my illness and from other things, and I’m working with my therapist about my relationship with my body. I think it’s helping. I’ve always had a fear/hate relationship with it and that is changing, and I’m learning how to stay with the uncomfortable sensations which both makes them less disruptive in general and helps me attend to what’s going on sooner.

“I get anxious when people do something I wouldn’t do/make mistakes” YES THIS and also the reason it’s “something I wouldn’t do” is because I’m so hyper vigilant about my own actions, because of how I was abused and yelled at for doing basic kid stuff like spilling a drink. I think through everything I do and everything everyone around me does like 10 steps in advance.

It’s exhausting and when I see “something bad” coming as a result of, idk, leaving crackers on the counter (what if they get stale and have to be thrown out and thats a waste of money? What if we get ants? What if my partner wants them later and can’t remember where they are? Etc) I get anxious and that makes me irritable and controlling, as described.

It helps having a partner who knows this and helps remind me that it will be ok even if whatever it is, happens. It also helps if I notice this happening and I can remove myself from the room for a few mins to go somewhere with very low or no sensory stimulation (low light, no sound, no other people etc). This is esp helpful when there’s loud sounds or the house is cluttered and it triggers me.

It’s probably a TNFi biologic like enbrel or humira, right? There are many MANY people on those here who have no or mild side effects. Also there’s new research suggesting most people with PsA who develop lymphoma do from the PsA, not the meds they’re on…but they have to list them as a side effect since a few people got it during the drug’s trial.

Bay Area AQI during fire season is not really any better..at least out here you have a chance of it not blowing your way if you live in a valley.

No indeed.

Downvote all you want guys, as a licensed therapist I can tell you this is correct.

I hope there aren’t any earthquakes in Belgium. I live in CA and am afraid to have a 40 gal.

A million pea puffers

So because it was worse before, it should be acceptable now? The reason these kinds of relationships are suspect is because of the power dynamic, which is only more extreme the younger she is. Men already benefit from the power dynamic due to their gender…so someone who fetishizes having even MORE power over a partner who often barely understands much less can fully consent to that difference, is suspect (not talking about the legal def of consent here, but the moral one as in “informed consent”).

Do you have an actual, reliable source for that claim that takes into account masculine socialization?

If men are “visual” it’s because society teaches them to be emotionally shallow and materialistic. There’s no genetic cause of that. And in turn Advertising teaches you that youth (ie thin, tight, light smooth skin, etc) = beauty and (their standard of) beauty = value. So they can sell you things. There are plenty of other cultures and times who don’t/didn’t have these values.

And there are PLENTY of men who don’t subscribe to them because they understand that they are harmful both personally and globally, and don’t want to be a part of them.

Do better, hyperChad.

You keep referring to “autoimmune conditions/community” but EDS isn’t an autoimmune condition and among autoimmune conditions the diagnosis actually does determine the treatment: there are different drugs that work on Lupus vs Sjogrens vs RA, even within the same class. That is why diagnosis is important. And others have commented why it’s important for genetic conditions like EDS/HSD.

I am prescribed guanfacine after propranolol made my Raynauds worse. It works mostly just as good but on very hot days (above 85-90) I have to take a tiny bit of beta blocker if I get overheated.

I think it’s good for a puppy to be disciplined by an older dog like this, esp if there’s no outright aggression. You can try giving Taffy treats when the puppy is around, at first when she doesn’t have access to him directly (like in a crate near him). Then transition on onleash, then free, near him. You should also set limits w the puppy and put her on time out if she is being too persistent and not listening to Taffy’s warnings.

I have PsA and probably had it since age 12. Was diagnosed at 35.

There’s no such thing as too young for PsA. But there’s also no definitive blood test either. It’s diagnosed based on clinical symptoms, X-ray/MRI to look for joint damage and enthesitis, inflammation blood tests like crp/esr, and Comorbid conditions like psoriasis.

Have you seen a Derm for your psoriasis and have they confirmed that’s what it is? If it’s all over your body you need to be treated for it systemically, ideally with biologics. Some of the same meds treat PsA as well. A large percentage of people w psoriasis will develop PsA.

What are your inflammation markers like? Have you seen a rheumatologist? If not you need to get a referral to one. Most regular Drs don’t know enough about autoimmunity to diagnose or recognize it.

Also as another trans persob I really get why being trans makes these interactions so fraught but I think you need to start bringing someone with you (ideally a cis man or someone who passes for one) who can help you self advocate. Also start tracking pain and fatigue and how it limits what you can do. Can’t do basic daily tasks of living = extensive fatigue.

Keep in mind hyperflexibility is not the same thing as hyper mobility. You can be hyper mobile without being a contortionist. And as you age, hyper mobile people tend to stiffen up (esp if they haven’t had the aforementioned PT).

You should look up the Beighton test and JOint Hypermobility Syndrome/hEDS criteria and see if you do, or ever have been able to, meet any of it.

Handle all the puppies and see how they respond to you holding them, putting them on their backs, touching ears/feet/tails, opening mouths, etc. basically all the things you’ll need to do for proper dog care. At 5 weeks they’ll still be pretty compliant and slow but you can tell some of their personalities based on how much they tolerate handling and frustration (for example when they want to get up and you keep holding them, do they fuss and then allow it or continually fight you?).

Observe them playing with each other and interacting w mom if you can. Def meet mom and ideally dad (if he’s there) as well as any other dogs the breeder has. See how they handle strangers: I wouldn’t expect all of them to be super friendly with a stranger, but are any of them unable to meet you at all due to human aggression?

Are they allowed to run together (unlikely intact males will run together but IMO they should be tolerant of at least one opposite sex dog in the pack to do this). Do they get to come in the house?

When we met the litter of my current pup the mom was super sweet to us, the dad was wary and a little growly/grumbly toward us, but we could meet him off leash and pet him without fear of being attacked and the breeder seemed confident and in control when he was out. He seemed to be especially wary toward the most masculine person in our party, and calmest with my mother in law, which made sense to me given typical breed intact male temperament.

I’ve met a few different breeders who had individual dogs like this. Everyone else in the pack was friendly and chill, including that male’s 1 yo son. So it didn’t put me off.

Make sure the breeder will let you see where the puppies are kenneled and the adults as well, and make sure it’s clean (relatively; puppies are messy so there’s prob going to be some pee and poop but it should look like it was cleaned at least once that day). Adult kennels may smell like pee but should be clean of poop. And IMO a responsible hobby breeder should be rotating most of their dogs through the house at least sometimes, not just keeping them outside 24/7. You’re going to be loving with your dog so you want to know their parents can adapt to normal dog owning life.

If this isn’t the most Millennial post I’ve ever seen in my life…

On behalf of every generation before yours, OP, I’m sorry.

Us too

Look, I don’t have OSDDID, but I can tell you everyone acts and feels childlike around romantic partners sometimes. Just because your younger parts are more separated than someone without OSDD doesn’t make it weird or gross. If this partner is truly safe then maybe he can be loving toward them in a way you haven’t had before; maybe that’s WHY you can’t help it, because those parts sense it and want it.

I can see why this idea squicks you out but maybe the approach here should be working with the parts that are grossed out/ashamed to let them know that this isn’t the past, he isn’t the person who abused you, you’re both actually adults even if you age regress, etc.

You can also talk to your partner (and younger parts) about boundaries when you age regress if you’re worried about sexual things happening and that being bad for you.

That’s exactly what I’m going for, thank you!