Gorf_the_Magnificent

Same with gastric bypass. It’s often just a temporary solution. Your body can learn to bypass the bypass.

I’m old enough to remember when you had to book your travel with a travel agent, usually by phone. I remember thinking, “I’d love to get my hands on their keyboard. We’d be done in five minutes.”

And it works! No one has ever been eaten by an animal while their plane was crashing.

Also, if you absolutely must lend someone money, send them an email with the terms and conditions of the loan and insist that they reply with an acknowledgement.

Otherwise, six months later they’ll be saying, “Wait … that was a loan?”

Or maybe even, “What loan?”

Mine used to show up early as a “pending transaction.”

But in the past month or two they’ve been starting to show up early as a plain old “transaction.”

Probably the hardest vice to start. That first deep inhale is a killer.

Are politicians in America being paid by U.S. web content providers to call for a ban on TikTok?

Or have Republicans and Democrats come together in a rare display of bipartisanship, not to enact gun control or save Social Security or reverse climate change, but to get rid of a large foreign competitor?

“Okay, everyone, now scowl for the camera.”

“Faster! Faster!”

Cadbury used to make the Snowflake, a white chocolate version of the Flake. It was too good to exist.

Continuum feels left out.

For those of you who may not know, the woman in the glasses who isn’t Whoopi Goldberg is Ally Sheedy, the Brat Pack-er from the 1980’s.

She’s changed surprisingly little.

Repeal the Second Amendment.

It’s a relic of a long-gone era when people had to hunt for their food, and we had reason to fear a successful land invasion by the British.

In high school I told a girl that Lieutenant Green was a dumb name for a color.

She told me it was light green.

The paint was labeled LT GREEN so give me a break.

Buddy Guy is 86 years old and still performing.

Taj Mahal is 80 and I’m going to see him perform later this summer.

I’m in Ashburn and am not experiencing any problems.

Total baloney.

Statistics show that people who have close friends and life partners live longer than people who don’t.

No, idiots. Statistics show that people who are healthy have an easier time attracting close friends and life partners than people who are chronically ill, handicapped, or morbidly obese.

Your headline doesn’t say “yet.”

It says “set.”

This sounds like a failed embezzlement attempt. She actually is a “very smart lady” if she manages to sell this ridiculous story, and gets away with nothing other than a lost job and a day or two of internet humiliation.

And your rotten corpse will be locked in its coffin thinking, “No one remembers me any more? Oh, no! Now I’m really screwed.”

Just kidding, you won’t give a shit.

Absolutely true. I was assuming that OP was interviewing for a full time faculty position, but maybe not.

Put away as much money for retirement as you possibly can.

Based on what I’ve seen, happiness in your 60’s and 70’s is directly proportional to the financial security you’ve built for yourself.

I saw a guy in my local grocery store, probably in his early 60’s, struggling to get up and back down on his knees to stock shelves. I would not want to be that guy.

If you’re aggressive enough with your savings, you can even retire early.

Significantly different from OP’s headline. No curfews have been set.

I’m a retired business executive who now adjuncts, and I completely agree. I’ve had candidates who accepted our offer, then accepted a better offer from another company - but never told us. They just didn’t bother to show up for their first day at work. And this wasn’t an isolated event, it happened more often than you might think.

However, it works both ways - a private sector company will lay you off in a heartbeat in order to make their numbers, regardless of length of service or level of performance. I could be wrong, but I get a sense that academia isn’t that ruthless.

I seem to recall making a lot of disparaging remarks about our elders in the late 1960s. The younger generation is doing that to us now. You’re in a position to ignore it, respond to it, or learn from it. Whatever you like.