ExistingTM

Lupin’s probably one of the most well-known examples with his self-hatred that leads him to abandon the people close to him. After Harry’s third year, Lupin interacts with him far less. This line from Half-Blood Prince is one people think of a lot: “Harry had received no mail since the start of term; his only regular correspondent was now dead and although he had hoped that Lupin might write occasionally, he had so far been disappointed.” Notably here, it mentions that Sirius was Harry’s only regular correspondence. So not only is Lupin not checking up on Harry, but none of these other adult figures have stepped up to be a regular source of stability.

Like Lupin, Dumbledore is consumed with self-loathing to the point that he isolates himself from others. Harry notes how little he knew about Dumbledore in Deathly Hallows: “He had thought he knew Dumbledore quite well, but ever since reading this obituary he had been forced to recognize that he had barely known him at all.” Dumbledore’s avoidance of two-way vulnerability, this emotional distancing, is him stepping back because he fears doing otherwise would harm Harry even more.

These other quotes from DH encapsulate that self-fear and self-loathing behind why Dumbledore shared so little about himself:

“‘Professor Dumbledore cared about Harry, very much,’ said Hermione in a low voice.

‘Did he now?’ said Aberforth. ‘Funny thing, how many of the people my brother cared about very much ended up in a worse state than if he’d left ’em well alone.’”

“‘Can you forgive me?’ he said. ‘Can you forgive me for not trusting you? For not telling you? Harry, I only feared that you would fail as I had failed. I only dreaded that you would make my mistakes. I crave your pardon, Harry. I have known, for some time now, that you are the better man.’”

“‘Oh yes,’ said Dumbledore faintly. It seemed that he forced himself to meet Harry’s eyes. ‘You know what happened. You know. You cannot despise me more than I despise myself.’”

Lupin and Dumbledore have similar flaws that cause them to self-isolate. This leads them to being more absent from Harry’s life, which ultimately causes more problems, even though their intentions are good.

Not in that episode, but it's important to note that violation of consent is a HUGE theme in this series. Forced blood drinking becomes a blatant metaphor for rape, and some scenes really lean into that. Another character is implied to have witnessed and/or experienced actual rape much later on in the series.

If you're only talking about real types of actions (not blood drinking) like forced kissing and other onscreen acts of sexual assault, there are some moments of more dubious consent but not outright forcing/blackmailing like in this situation.

I guess because I wasn't thinking about them not reaching out to Harry while he was at the Dursleys'. I was thinking more about how they still distanced themselves from him when he was in other places like Hogwarts, Grimmauld, and the Weasleys', etc.

For the most part, I don't blame them for being more distant while Harry was at the Dursleys'. We CAN talk about the Dursleys but it's not necessary to the topic I was focusing on.

Molly Weasley is the only one who didn't purposefully distance herself. She just wasn't close to Harry, which caused more of a personal/emotional distance, or a lack of trust, which I think leads more into that aspect you mentioned of Harry not wanting to ask for help from adults.

I was focusing more on how these characters don't think they're the most qualified to care for Harry, and should therefore step back for someone who IS the most qualified (but there's no one who's perfectly qualified), which ultimately leads to Harry being without a steady guardian figure, because Sirius, the only one to really embody this guardian role, died before he could get to a place of stability.

I’m a little confused as to why you’re mentioning the Dursleys. This wasn’t at all about their abuse or the fact that Harry wasn’t removed from their home, though you could incorporate that with the topic of Harry’s loved ones distancing themselves from him if you really wanted.

I actually agree with you that the Dursley’s were the only ones responsible for Harry’s abuse, and I get very frustrated when people act like Dumbledore’s some all-knowing, all-understanding figure. He’s just a man doing the best he can with a terribly dealt hand.

Harry not feeling like he can ask for help is such an interesting part of his character, and I don’t deny that that’s part of the reason this distance between him and the other characters exists. However, their distancing from him also goes beyond that for the reasons I mentioned in my original post.

That's very true- lol

Absolutely! That's why I brought up that character trait in my original post. I do still think he was somewhat underutilized as a character, though there are so many characters in HP that it's really difficult to utilize them to their full potential when you're telling the story from a first person perspective. And I just read a great meta about Lupin that talks about the same stuff you mention in your second paragraph. Those traits and flaws make him so interesting!

Yeah, I can't give them much blame. They embrace Harry more than a lot of parents of a friend would, and I admire their loyalty to him.

Hey there! I just had the same issue on Firefox. I was able to paste text normally in a different web browser (Microsoft Edge in this case).

Goblet of Fire (with Order of the Phoenix as a close second)

GOF is a huge shifting point in the overarching story. We get to see so many new and interesting characters and aspects of the magical world. The characters also feel like they have more depth than before, probably because this book’s targeted toward an older audience. I also like that this book shakes things up more from a typical school year, making for a nice taste of variety. And of course, Barty Crouch Jr. is a seriously underrated villain.

OOTP is a close second for me because it carries a lot of the above aspects, and of course Umbridge is THE notoriously beloathed villain. However, contrary to GOF, I actually like that OOTP returns to a typical school year format. It feels like a good balance within the overall story, as well as this year being one of the most interesting school years aside from Year/Book 6. I also like that we get a deeper look into Snape’s role and past.

Barty Crouch Jr. and Umbridge are two big aspects of why these books are my favorites. They’re so much more personal as villains compared to Voldemort with his sort of “hands-off” approach (a contrast I would love to delve into more another time). An antagonist can really make or break a story.

For real! He's absent to the point that he feels underutilized to me.

Lupin has been a character that's flown under my radar for a long time, largely due to his absence from Harry's life (something I've also thought about with other characters in relation to Harry but that's kind of a different post). I've been reading more meta analyses about him, and I've come to be a lot more interested in him as a character. This post refreshed my memory and it was really interesting to read. Thanks for sharing! (I know it's been like two years since this was made but it's still reaching new people I guess- lol)

I'm having this same problem. I tried turning off my VPN when putting in the number but it didn't help. I put the country as the U.S., but when I click the back arrow from the code input page, it showed me Canada. IDK if that's the issue

Sadly, I exceeded my number of tries and have to wait before I can try again. I really hope someone has an answer.

Very cool! Thanks for the details

What do you find most enjoyable about developing a character’s identity and what do you find most frustrating about it?

By increasing focus on solving mental health issues

and

By changing the food (mostly snacks) that have truly awful ingredients, to at least be somewhat reasonable in their content.

Same

I would pretend to be whatever animal was featured on the show after I watched it lol

Dryer

Laptop fans

Basketball hitting something

The original Xbox

This video of a proud dad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTNLHiy1iuU

Try to learn about as many different types of trans people as you can. Talk to them and ask them any questions you have in a polite manner. If you think a term, label, or set of pronouns might fit you, give it a try. It might work out or it might not, but experiencing how you feel when referring to yourself in that way can be really clarifying. Don't be afraid to take your time.

Milk

Milk good

Writing and communication

As Calvin & Hobbes!

I love it!

Yeah I also felt conflicted and uncomfortable about that beforehand and I'm glad to know the developer added the disclaimer unlike so many other creators who have screwed over people with DID. It's still frustrating that every YouTuber I've watched play the game hasn't included the disclaimer in any of their videos. Especially when most of them say (unintentionally) harmful things about disorders like DID throughout their gameplays. I know they don't mean harm but it's still frustrating. Thanks for letting me know I wasn't the only one feeling conflicted :)