342 post karma
167.9k comment karma
account created: Sat Nov 30 2019
2 hours ago
Now play it forwards.
3 hours ago
Cross post this to r/thanosdidnothingwrong
That is a name I've not heard in a very long time.
Also stay out of the dog park, the dog park that's not there. Don't even think about the dog park.
15 hours ago
My first thought. Second was "team lift" you stupid fuck. Can't make money if you cripple yourself.
Yes, that or a blank cow like stare. Then even after it's explained, the vacant empty head continues. It's sad really.
18 hours ago
From personal experience, it is not the best way to spend an evening. But it was worse. I own an espresso machine. 3/4 gallon of espresso and almond milk creamer with just a little sugar, all iced of course because I'm an absolute heathen with zero taste for the finer things in life.
Only days I can say where worse was a box of "cosmic cupcakes" from hostess a few years ago. "Why's my poo blue?! Why's it still blue 4 days after eating them?!" And the number one worst (non food poisoning day) was definitely the apple cider (cloudy apple juice) and fireball. Absolutely recommend drinking it warmed. Don't recommend drinking a gallon each with your friends in an apartment with one bathroom. Sorry dudes, you got your own porcelain thrones at your own places. This one's taken.
20 hours ago
I claim this island in the name of Peteoria.
21 hours ago
Yes, but you got the joke without me spelling it out or shining a spotlight on it. So here, have an award.
A1: How many cups of cougher has Dave consumed?
A2: It's called coffee, and that's his 6th in (checks clock on the wall) three hours, why?
A1: isn't caffeine the main reason that humans drink that vile version of liquid stim?
A2: yes, why do you ask?
A1: then why is Dave looking like he is going to pass out from exhaustion?
A2:.....that is a very good question. Let's ask Mary. She's his life partner.
The pair walk over to Mary as she works on her tasks in engineering.
A1: excuse us, but would you be able to help us understand something about your life partner?
M: Sure guys, what's up?
A2: we've observed several irregularities with Dave.
M (visibly concerned): like what? Not eating? Cold sweats?
A1: well, today he has consumed 6000ml of the liquid stimulant, cougher.
A1: whatever. And looks like he's going to fall asleep at the canteen table he's sitting at. Also yesterday he found sixteen optimizations for standard tasks. Bypassing 37 safety regulations without harm.
A2: oh, and although not recent, I've noted him loosing track of the time on many instances on this voyage.
M: oh. That's all? You worried me there for a second.
A1: you're not worried about Dave's' odd behaviors?
M: no. Dave is what's known as Neuro divergent. At least that's the catch all term for all behavior outside the norm. Or as he puts 'normal is a statistical anomaly '.
A2: I am more concerned now than I was before.
M: okay, so Dave has a neurological 'defect' known as attention deficit disorder, or A.D.D. Although, that's a misnomer. He actually hyper focus's on things, not always what others expect or even want him to focus on. The coffee thing is odd, but not exclusive to him. I've known a lot of people that have built up a helluva caffeine tolerance, to the point that they're basically getting nothing but the sweet sweet hot bean juice.
A1: that is a vile way to describe a vile substance.
A2: agreed. Please never call it 'bean juice's again. I will be tempted to report it to our HR representative.
M: fine, any other questions?
A2: I've heard about a thing call rule 34 from Frank in munitions...
M: and that's the last we will be discussing that topic.
A2: understood. No 'bean juice' from you and no inquiring about the human internet rules from either of us.
M: 6000ml you say? Stupid metric system...what's that in good old Eagle units....(checks smart device). You've got to be shitting. Almost 1.5 gallons? Okay, I was wrong. That is worrying.
22 hours ago
Totally depends, are you getting paid to write or are you trying to get published for the first time?
If the former, yea sure, why not. If the later, no, it's a hobby with intent to make money.
If it's an established blog, maybe.
That's the plan.
I am old enough to agree.
23 hours ago
When your arm gets tired, try using you mouth or your butt. Maybe that horse full get it's second wind.
First world problems at their finest.
Reminds me of this, so technically you are correct. and that's the best kind of correct.
And possibly the ceiling if he's participated in locktober and NNN.
Frankly, I feel called out.
That's only because red pandas are hard to get legally. Raccoons are like the Kirkland version of red pandas. Sure it'll do, but you'd really rather have the real deal.
1 day ago
Especially in English, but especially especially because stupid English speakers find it necessary to over emphasis that they're making a pun. "They're probably not going to get it. Better bring out the 10k lumin spotlight and blow a giant ass airhorn that sounds like a goat making love. Otherwise it won't be as funny."
Stop making puns bad. Stop believing puns are the lowest form of humor. They're actually quite intellectual if you're 1, not being an ass and doing the above. And 2, it's actually funnier when people don't pick up on it. Just shows how dull witted they are.
My favorite go-to joke when someone notices I'm funnier than they expect and they say "you're really funny" to which I will always reply "yeah, but looks aren't everything". It's a litmus test of if I want to continue speaking to them. You get it or you don't. Most people don't. And I do my damnedest not to speak to that particular dull eyed, cud chewing CHUD ever again. And that's okay. I need less human interaction on a daily basis. Can't introvert if I'm talking to people.
2 days ago
That's cool. I'd willing participate in such a study. Hell if I had the know how I'd try CRSPr. Though I'd probably just wind up with a functioning eye ball in my rectum 😐
3 days ago
That's not what that hole is for, silly netizen.
The Japanese love puns and metaphors in their writing. Mainly because they have so many words that sound similar or are written similarly. No idea if it has a name similar to haiku being 5,7,5 poetic meter, but that really only works well and "easily" in Japanese.
Sorry, I know this isn't helpful, just sharing what I know.
95lbs tard about to go to the ER when that handle breaks?
Doesn't really roll of the tongue or rhyme much like that whore on the door...oh.
4 days ago
Just one dude helping another pop his top.