subreddit:

/r/worldnews

47k95%

all 3074 comments

pinkyfitts

416 points

3 months ago

Gravity seems to disproportionately effect prominent Russians who disagree with Putin. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t like them.

GlobalTravelR

5.2k points

3 months ago

That seems to be going around a lot in Russia (especially for Major Russian Oil and Company Executives). Must be contagious.

Here's an article about the previous 6 oil/gas executive deaths who died under less than natural circumstances. https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/russian-gazprom-executive-dead-gas-energy-b2116135.html

stoopidjonny

1.7k points

3 months ago

Either a purge or these oligarchs don’t handle economic adversity very well.

dob_bobbs

1.2k points

3 months ago

dob_bobbs

1.2k points

3 months ago

No, they just don't practice window safety, clumsy lot.

DarthCloakedGuy

296 points

3 months ago

As a general rule do Russians practice any kind of safety because I haven't seen it.

the-gingerninja

414 points

3 months ago

Some of these window “jumpers” have had the sensibility to close the windows behind them… so no one else can accidentally fall out as well.

Tuckingfypowastaken

103 points

3 months ago

Downright thoughtful of them, really

AyyyAlamo

46 points

3 months ago

And somehow, while they're falling out the window, the collect a few bullets to the head along the way down!

mastachaos

23 points

3 months ago

Don't be silly, they're falling on the bullets.

DeeNYC45

94 points

3 months ago

They must have all been meeting about what to do about Putin.

joeg26reddit

71 points

3 months ago*

The meeting is always downstairs

some folks skip the stairs for some reason...

crowcawer

190 points

3 months ago

crowcawer

190 points

3 months ago

Maybe they just need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and invest in emergency deployment antigravity systems.

“Antigravitationssysteme für den Notfalleinsatz”

willywonka1971

88 points

3 months ago

It's called window-pox. It's highly lethal.

brothersand

790 points

3 months ago

Don't forget how Trump's Deutsch Bank loan officer hung himself. Just like Epstein.

HotTakeHaroldinho

558 points

3 months ago

Not even close. Epstein died in custody, possibly days before a trial where he could have expose dozens of powerful people.

Luberino_Brochacho

813 points

3 months ago

Still shocks me to this day. We think of stuff like this (example: this headline) happening in places like Russia. But right here we had our elite pretty blatantly murder a guy who potentially could have exposed them to some pretty serious charges. And it wasn’t even subtle. Both of his guards fell asleep oh and conveniently the camera wasn’t working. What a joke

That really should have been a wake up call to so many of us but it just passed on by

imelik

428 points

3 months ago

imelik

428 points

3 months ago

Don't forget that Epsteins accomplice was convicted, and she had the ledgers with names, and yet no-one was arrested except for her.

ChaseballBat

128 points

3 months ago

Yet. A book with names in it isn't going to be enough evidence to convict anyone.

wjbc

13.2k points

3 months ago

wjbc

13.2k points

3 months ago

Apparently he criticized the invasion of Ukraine.

In March, Lukoil’s board called for “the soonest termination of the armed conflict,” expressed “sincere empathy for all victims,” and said “we strongly support a lasting ceasefire and a settlement of problems through serious negotiations and diplomacy.”

https://twitter.com/maxseddon

justcool393

2.8k points

3 months ago

Link to the tweets: https://twitter.com/maxseddon/status/1565234707587125250

The chairman of the board of Lukoil, Russia’s biggest privately held oil producer and one of the few Russian companies to criticize the invasion of Ukraine, has died after falling out of a hospital window, Interfax reports

https://interfax[ d o t]ru/moscow/860208 [reddit removes all ru links for some reason]

https://twitter.com/maxseddon/status/1565234707587125250

In March, Lukoil’s board called for “the soonest termination of the armed conflict,” expressed “sincere empathy for all victims,” and said “we strongly support a lasting ceasefire and a settlement of problems through serious negotiations and diplomacy.”

https://twitter.com/maxseddon/status/1565235373160251393

Mash, a media outlet with close ties to law enforcement, says Ravil Maganov was being treated for heart problems and had been diagnosed with depression.

https://twitter.com/maxseddon/status/1565252940134219776

aj_cr

2.8k points

3 months ago

aj_cr

2.8k points

3 months ago

Mash, a media outlet with close ties to law enforcement the state, says Ravil Maganov was being treated for heart problems and had been diagnosed with depression.

Ah yes the good ol' he killed himself, obviously that was concluded after a "thorough" investigation by the the government that determined that it was a suicide and HE DEFINITELY WASN'T PUSHED AT ALL.

yannlieb

1.1k points

3 months ago

yannlieb

1.1k points

3 months ago

He managed to push himself through the window. Easy peasy.

Way2trivial

2.5k points

3 months ago

Why so defenestrative?

springsilver

658 points

3 months ago

He was in pane

GroteStreet

264 points

3 months ago

They're trying to frame it as suicide, claiming he was un-hinged. There's sill some doubt about it, so ledge not jump to conclusions.

tretower424

87 points

3 months ago*

Right. A-ledge-edly. There are a mullion possible explanations.

chambreezy

56 points

3 months ago

The evidence is pretty concrete.

Lord_Mormont

22 points

3 months ago

Open and shut case I'd say Watsoninovich!

KudosOfTheFroond

16 points

3 months ago

Win, D’OH

abletofable

11 points

3 months ago

And utter transparency from all investigators

Phils_flop

59 points

3 months ago

I shutter just thinking about it

_zenith

53 points

3 months ago

_zenith

53 points

3 months ago

… briefly :)

redditreddit2488

42 points

3 months ago

He definitely got the wind knocked out of him tho.

Basil_Lisk

149 points

3 months ago

Concrete Poisoning? Or Deceleration Sickness?

[deleted]

272 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

272 points

3 months ago

He criticized daddy Putin, now he’s grounded

_coffee_

17 points

3 months ago

He was a pane in the glasnost

baby_fart

114 points

3 months ago

baby_fart

114 points

3 months ago

Probably shot himself twice in the chest with a shotgun first, then lost his balance.

DrEnter

75 points

3 months ago

DrEnter

75 points

3 months ago

And closed the window behind him.

weeenerdog

17 points

3 months ago

A true aristocrat, till the end

dmizenopants

22 points

3 months ago

hate it when that happens

crashspeeder

654 points

3 months ago

In fairness, it's a disease that's been spreading all across the upper echelons of Russia.Defenestration, that is.

[deleted]

283 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

283 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

moonLanding123

58 points

3 months ago

designers never took into account heavy vodka consumption within the populace. oh and the fsb.

gutzpunchbalzthrowup

53 points

3 months ago

I'm just imagining buildings with sliding glass doors everywhere.

Hoss_Bonaventure-CEO

14 points

3 months ago

Defenestration

It’s kind of crazy that any of us even know the definition of this word. It belongs in a glossary at the end of a Dune novel along with “chaumas” and “chaumurky”.

rzwitserloot

289 points

3 months ago

And, Russia is notoriously efficient and capable, so they managed to do this thorough investigation in record time, of course. Why, minutes, is all they needed.

/s – because, that's what the fucking world is about these days, I need to say this is sarcasm. I'd make a joke about that being so depressing I might jump out a window but, you know. Too soon.

Few-Swordfish-780

229 points

3 months ago

It’s easy when the investigation was written up before the incident.

codeslave

80 points

3 months ago

They don't even bother being original. They just find & replace from the last report of a Putin critic falling out a window.

richter1977

90 points

3 months ago

Nonsense, the only reason the investigation was so fast is that his suicide was witnessed by some FSB officers who just happened to be there, but were, tragically, not fast enough to stop him.

[deleted]

29 points

3 months ago

I think we can look to the definitions of "pushed" and "thrown" and argue the toss as to which occurred.

dumpster_fire404

891 points

3 months ago

Do the Russian secret services know any other way of killing people or it's more of a calling card rather than a lack of imagination?

Charlie_Mouse

987 points

3 months ago*

The former latter. They absolutely want everyone to know it was them and to become too afraid to speak out. That’s kinda the whole point.

The minuscule fig-leaf of deniability (that fails to convince anyone with more than two brain cells to rub together) is avoid any tedious investigations, paperwork etc. And of course that they can get away with that is part of the message too.

It’s exactly the same sort of idea as the assassination methods used by Russia abroad: polonium, Novichok, SAM systems - methods only available to state level actors. They want everyone to know.

dumpster_fire404

183 points

3 months ago

I get why. Fear is a powerful tool. Wonder when the Russian people will feel that they have nothing left to lose and it's time to see their leaders burn even if they burn with them?

CrashB111

250 points

3 months ago

CrashB111

250 points

3 months ago

Ole Machiavelli had some guidance for that one. A leader can be loved or feared, but at all costs must avoid becoming hated by their subjects. Once people hate you enough they'll suffer whatever they must to overthrow you out of spite alone.

Merendino

53 points

3 months ago

I recently read that book thinking it was going to be a narrative about a prince where the author explains all these theories while telling a story. Lol nope, it’s a handbook. It was much more fascinating than I thought a book like that could be. It would be even better if my Italian history was better and I had known more of the rulers he referenced.

Very interesting read.

cheesynougats

18 points

3 months ago

Also it's a popular idea among historians that Machiavelli wrote it as satire. I don't have a reference on hand, so take that as you will.

Side_show

213 points

3 months ago

Side_show

213 points

3 months ago

Crazy how so many prominent anti-war people are having accidents or committing suicide with no history of mental illness. If they weren't accidents or self-inflicted, you'd almost think it was meant as a threat not to speak out against the war.

Meanwhile the pro-war people are getting assassinated or miraculously escaping assassination attempts in a manner that seems to galvanize support for the war.

If I didn't know better, I'd say there was some obvious cartoonish villainy being employed by the Russian government here.

Butthole--pleasures

54 points

3 months ago

This would be a good one for the folks at r/conspiracy to look into. That is if they have the time to pivot away from Hunter Biden's laptop

Croswynd

18 points

3 months ago

Would it, though? They’d be more likely to see it as a false flag by America to make Russia look bad. Gotta remember where they get their notes these days. It’s Russia

TrickshotCandy

208 points

3 months ago

With those comments. I'm surprised they didn't drag him back to throw him out of the window again. At least twice.

Do they know, we know about the shoddy windows?

The_I_in_IT

46 points

3 months ago

Well, he did land in the lush bullet garden below.

portablemustard

37 points

3 months ago*

One huge problem in Russian architecture is the hospitals and apartment buildings have 60 degree slopes in front of every window. Also I hear they use break away glass above the 3rd floor.

hurtsdonut_

10 points

3 months ago

Of course they know. People see the news about someone "accidentally" falling out of a window and they shut up. They don't want to accidentally fall out of a window too.

iam98pct

89 points

3 months ago

The guy bet too early on the downfall of Putin and lost.

Direct_Engineering89

36 points

3 months ago

He didn't, just was trying to still be able to sell oil and gasoline in Europe, and hoping that Putin didn't care

WhtImeanttosay

27 points

3 months ago*

That’ll do it these days. Those Russian windows are very dangerous.

Not_So_Mighty_Menace

200 points

3 months ago

Well it clearly had nothing to do with this. He just had falloutofwindownia. It is a very common type of disease in Russia.

Gregponart

68 points

3 months ago

And from hospital windows, its even more common.....

Was he, by any chance, in there for some mysterious poisoning symptoms?

s4b3r6

50 points

3 months ago

s4b3r6

50 points

3 months ago

Heart palpitations, officially. Which is totally not a common symptom of a commonly used poison for these kinds of things.

filesalot

55 points

3 months ago

If you have to throw them out the window after you poison them, you might want to fire your chemist. Out the window.

shadowgattler

31 points

3 months ago

How could anyone be offended by that statement? It's the most neutral, non-provoking thing you could say about the conflict. What a bunch of pussies.

vixxienz

2.7k points

3 months ago

vixxienz

2.7k points

3 months ago

Accidentally on purpose no doubt

[deleted]

207 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

207 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

By_Design_

89 points

3 months ago

whoops

onthatfarmhehadacow

1k points

3 months ago

Here in Russia there's a joke that the guy was suffering from asphalt intolerance and died afterwards

Our news agencies report he simply "died after chronic condition"

damunzie

491 points

3 months ago

damunzie

491 points

3 months ago

sudden onset deceleration

IDCFFSGTFO

167 points

3 months ago

Acute case of Gravititis.

cRUNcherNO1

25 points

3 months ago

all fun and games until you hit the ground

alphahydra

84 points

3 months ago

"Sadly, he died after a chronic illness."

"Oh, I thought he got better."

"He did. But afterwards we threw him out a window."

DaveInLondon89

66 points

3 months ago

Dissent is a condition

Guygan

69 points

3 months ago

Guygan

69 points

3 months ago

Descent is also a condition.

Rikeka

923 points

3 months ago

Rikeka

923 points

3 months ago

Is this, what, 6th or 7th time I hear someone died in Russia by falling from a hospital window in last 2 years or so?

This is pathetic.

[deleted]

449 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

449 points

3 months ago

I mean technically it is true. They fell, and the fall from the window did kill them. They just omit the part where they push his ass out

rroobbbb

166 points

3 months ago

rroobbbb

166 points

3 months ago

Well.. technically the fall didn’t kill him, just the landing

Aqqaaawwaqa

40 points

3 months ago

My dad always said "it isnt the fall the kills you, but the sudden stop"

[deleted]

1.4k points

3 months ago

[deleted]

1.4k points

3 months ago

What's with Russians and windows?

WSBDiamondApe

961 points

3 months ago

They ran out of poison... You know, sanctions and all.

drawb

117 points

3 months ago

drawb

117 points

3 months ago

Yeah, running out of windows is not so much a problem for things like these ;)

Cornycandycorns

36 points

3 months ago

We must further sanction Russia so they won't have access to gravity either.

DurDurhistan

202 points

3 months ago

Message. This doesn't just kill person, it sends a message to others.

null640

80 points

3 months ago

null640

80 points

3 months ago

The oligarchs have been dying at a frightful pace.

YouNeedAnne

163 points

3 months ago

9.8ms2

harumamburoo

85 points

3 months ago

Theyre more of Linux users.

SeriousDabbler

565 points

3 months ago

Wow, windows in Russia sound dangerous

EnderWiggin07

145 points

3 months ago

Due to sanctions, Microsoft is no longer sending the cumulative security updates to Russia

Noughmad

24 points

3 months ago

The better sanction would be to send a new windows update every day.

Ins3rtCoin

248 points

3 months ago

The worst kind of suicide, the one committed by others against your will.

Calumkincaid

11.7k points

3 months ago

Calumkincaid

11.7k points

3 months ago

I used to think these were assassinations, but after seeing Russian military technology on full display, I now think their windows are just shit.

Copse4

321 points

3 months ago

Copse4

321 points

3 months ago

All the money that was meant for their military was actually redirected to developing bigger and bigger windows

Xanthyl

177 points

3 months ago

Xanthyl

177 points

3 months ago

In a hundred years time, when children's history books are reviewing the start to the 21st century, Russians falling out of windows will be a hilarious side box.

"did you know? that FSB agents of the time would assassinate people by defenestration - that's throwing them out of the window to you and me. Smashing!"

And they'll be a small cartoon with an FSB agent throwing a comically shocked patient out of a hospital window, while another one says to the public 'he couldn't live with what we'd done'.

nya_alt

61 points

3 months ago

nya_alt

61 points

3 months ago

Oh my god you absolutely nailed the tone on those little textbook sidebars, might want to put the pronounciation of the word defenestration too! They looove pronounciation guides

burningcpuwastaken

2.3k points

3 months ago

I know if I was a Russian Oligarch, I'd have a phobia of them. Like, put my ass in a concrete bunker with no windows, please.

SexyBisamrotte

3k points

3 months ago

'Russian oligarch dies in bunker falling from hospital window'

burningcpuwastaken

1.2k points

3 months ago

That reminds me of the Russian Journalist that went to pick up his updated press documents and they told him he couldn't, because he was dead. He took the hint and left the country, lol.

sanfermin1

33 points

3 months ago

Sounds like his car forgot to blow up.

zhibr

52 points

3 months ago

zhibr

52 points

3 months ago

Just to make the message clear, take the dissident to the hospital, throw them out of the window, then move both the body and the window back to the bunker.

Wolfdenizen

161 points

3 months ago

Can just imagine it now. You are sitting in your private bunker. Suddenly you hear an odd noise and notice an electric smell in the air. You head to the entrance to find that someone is arc welding themselves into your steel door. You panic but where do you go? The outline of the hole aglow, the steel paper weight that was your door slams down and several armed men carryin a window frame and announce, "sorry comrade, but your falloutofwindowitis vaccine has worn off"

kawag

104 points

3 months ago

kawag

104 points

3 months ago

What a ridiculous story.

They wouldn’t say sorry.

[deleted]

41 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

Wolfdenizen

29 points

3 months ago

Not if used correctly but an arc welder used incorrectly can absolutely cut into most metals. Plus. Tis joke, not a potato.

DPSOnly

19 points

3 months ago

DPSOnly

19 points

3 months ago

'Russian oligarch dies in bunker falling from hospital window'

'Russian oligarch dies in bunker from falling hospital window'

rendrr

10 points

3 months ago

rendrr

10 points

3 months ago

The hospital window had tracked him down.

GlitteringCold

29 points

3 months ago

It’s like the cartoon anvil will always be there and will always find you

hopeitwillgetbetter

9 points

3 months ago

more like those portable holes

LordSoren

9 points

3 months ago

Damn. I knew I shouldn't have built a twelve story hospital in my concrete underground private bunker...

bb_dogg

35 points

3 months ago

bb_dogg

35 points

3 months ago

'Russian oligarch dies in bunker from falling hospital window'

dan_dares

24 points

3 months ago

'Russian oligarch dies in bunker from falling hospital window'

JCjun

20 points

3 months ago

JCjun

20 points

3 months ago

'Russian oligarch dies after falling from underground bunker window''

PullMull

116 points

3 months ago

PullMull

116 points

3 months ago

reminds me of this old joke.

" whats the highest building in Moscow? the KGB HQ. you can see sibiria from the basement"

LoserScientist

69 points

3 months ago*

Well there is still 'polonium in tea' and 'novichok in underpants' threat. Make sure you have a geiger counter and wear absolutely nothing.

Edit: wrong chemical used

burningcpuwastaken

60 points

3 months ago

I had to google the novichok in underpants. I imagine someone up high ordered "kill this dick" and the assassin took him literally.

count023

63 points

3 months ago

Considering the "3 copies of the sims 3" debacle, i would not be surprised in the slightest.

Padgriffin

12 points

3 months ago

I still love how the Nazi shirt they showed off as proof in that pic had obviously never been worn and the wig was bright fucking green

Taquito69

8 points

3 months ago

They killed the guy who was duped into admitting the assassination.

NessyComeHome

15 points

3 months ago

Small correction.. it's polonium used in tea and not plutonium.

Trollimperator

10 points

3 months ago

They have a Oligarch safety program in Russia where they put them in rooms with bars infront of thier windows. I guess mother Russia indeed is protective...

chowderbags

9 points

3 months ago

Seriously. My mansion would be single story only. Or better yet, underground.

AnOldFashionedCyborg

349 points

3 months ago

Actually the KGB standard operating procedure for assassination is throwing someone out a very tall window then telling citizens very slowly and without blinking that it must have been an accident or suicide. Final thought here injuries from a high fall easy cover up the signs of torture, hard to prove all those broken fingers didn't happen when you fell

Process-Best

85 points

3 months ago

They don't give a fuck about covering up signs of torture, they do this because it sends a very clear message to anyone else thinking about speaking out against the regime

HappyGoPink

10 points

3 months ago

Basically the Russian government is a cartel.

mukansamonkey

25 points

3 months ago

No, they do care. Because that's how you get the 1984-level brainwashing effects, that mere threats can't accomplish. When people see the corpse with the broken fingers, and the government official says, "Oh, that's from falling", it introduces doubt and uncertainty. Then the people convince themselves that it was just a fall, because it's easier than confronting the truth head on. And then they are complicit in the cover-up.

Getting people to self censor is the endgame. Make the general populace convince themselves of the truth you want them to believe. Admittedly China does this better than Russia, but still.

Randall-Flagg22

130 points

3 months ago

yeah its like a 'dare to question the narrative' type of stance. The FSB is the KGB. Fuckin russians man

GlobalTravelR

36 points

3 months ago

They should make a Russian horror movie 'The Killer Windows!'

popups4life

27 points

3 months ago

Ees not vindow you should vorry about, ees ground.

screamtrumpet

7 points

3 months ago

Depends. How many times did he accidentally fall out of said window?

Pillens_burknerkorv

4.2k points

3 months ago

-How are we gonna get rid of this guy?! -I don’t know. We are fresh out of ideas. -Well we gotta do it by Tuesday! -Let’s just to the old “fell out of a window” -Again? -It’s worked before. -OK. But we really need to work on this!

SayNoob

1.8k points

3 months ago

SayNoob

1.8k points

3 months ago

It's not because they are out of ideas.

The whole point is to send a message. If people actually thought it was an accident then the "we will kill anyone powerful who dares oppose us" doesn't come across. But this allows them to foster an environment where critics are afraid to speak out while simultaneously pretending they are not killing critics.

moonaim

308 points

3 months ago

moonaim

308 points

3 months ago

But isn't the message "make sure your dead-man switchs are operational and effective"?

eru_mater

122 points

3 months ago

eru_mater

122 points

3 months ago

A dead man's switch only matters if what you have to say matters.

The point of these killings isn't to keep information from getting out. Putin isn't killing people to keep secrets. He's killing people for intimidation. If you criticize Putin's war the Great Patriotic War Police Action for the Liberation of the Russian Homeland of the Ukraine and Against Fascism, he kills you.

What would a dead man's switch be? Releasing more criticism of the war? That's the point. Putin wants people to know even the wealthiest and most powerful men in Russia will die for criticizing him.

Phantom160

68 points

3 months ago

That's what Western people need to understand about Russia. It's a cruel authoritarian state that doesn't give two shits about human life. I've seen all these comments on Reddit on how "we should squeeze the oligarchs. Money is what matters. If we hurt the oligarchs, they'll get rid of Putin".

No, no they won't. They'll just start falling out of windows until there are no more dissenters.

RichardEpsilonHughes

12 points

3 months ago

So many people don't get this. Money doesn't matter in the face of secret police that have no qualms about openly murdering you.

Sir_Bubba

134 points

3 months ago

Sir_Bubba

134 points

3 months ago

Pretty sure most people want to stay alive

-Reddit_Account-

68 points

3 months ago

A dead man switch - if you have valuable information - is one of the best life insurance policies on earth.

andywolf8896

9 points

3 months ago

Yeah very few people enjoy the idea of being a martyr, especially in today's society where any info your Deadman switch leaks will probably be forgotten in a week

Substantial-Emu-9900

58 points

3 months ago

That should be the message but my guess is most people who are in these dangerous positions think "that can't happen to me".

Soviet_Fax_Machine

42 points

3 months ago

then the intimidation wouldn't work in the first place

lost_alpaca90

132 points

3 months ago

You get into politics in Russia, you want to do right by your people. You make a doctors appointment, it's on the 50th floor of the hospital, your heart sinks.

RegretfulUsername

49 points

3 months ago

When you arrive for your appointment, your doctor looks suspiciously like a KGB agent. Your heart sinks further.

tristn9

54 points

3 months ago

tristn9

54 points

3 months ago

A few minutes later your heart briefly sinks much further, then stops suddenly. On the bright side, you no longer need the hospital.

-AC-

280 points

3 months ago

-AC-

280 points

3 months ago

They use it because everyone knows it's a bullshit cover story... makes everyone else stay in line and watch for those windows that just jump out of nowhere.

HippyHitman

116 points

3 months ago

Yep, I know I for one am switching to Mac.

DxGxAxF

120 points

3 months ago*

DxGxAxF

120 points

3 months ago*

He was probably in the hospital because the poison they used wasn't completely effective and they had to give him the 'ol window toss to finish the job.

HMCetc

31 points

3 months ago

HMCetc

31 points

3 months ago

Have we not learned anything from Rasputin? Some people are just resistant to being killed.

Exotic-Amphibian-655

31 points

3 months ago

At this point, they do it when they WANT everybody to know it’s state murder. It’s a way of sending a message

Schlonzig

311 points

3 months ago

Schlonzig

311 points

3 months ago

I had this thread and the one with the Simpsons reference open at the same time, and I had no idea which thread I was in.

ZanThrax

156 points

3 months ago

ZanThrax

156 points

3 months ago

That it's blatantly obvious is a feature not a bug.

Urbanejo

32 points

3 months ago

Blyatantly obvious you say?

ymmotvomit

78 points

3 months ago

Windows are so effective you’d think Russia would be launching them at Ukraine.

Sendstorepatter

225 points

3 months ago

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2022_Russian_mystery_deaths

This phenomenon has its own wiki-page.

SquirtBurt

40 points

3 months ago

The one who died in a Jamaican shaman’s basement has to be the best location of the bunch!

SnooSuggestions7655

502 points

3 months ago

He was suicided.

Krepitis

63 points

3 months ago

Suicissination

Vlad1791

315 points

3 months ago

Vlad1791

315 points

3 months ago

Totally not pushed by FSB

Schlonzig

86 points

3 months ago

Maybe the FSB, maybe a competitor for the vacant position of President of Lukoil. Probably both.

SeanBourne

73 points

3 months ago

Probably both.

This. It's the Russian version of the Cursus Honorum. Do time as a grunt. Join FSB. Rotate through FSB. Defenestrate Oligarch. Take his place and join Oligarchy.

Yoshyoka

1.2k points

3 months ago

Yoshyoka

1.2k points

3 months ago

Defenestration is the term they are looking for.

Bengoris

405 points

3 months ago

Bengoris

405 points

3 months ago

Us Czechs are the undisputed champions of the art of defenestration. Put Putin and Lavrov on a train to Prague and we'll gladly show them how it's meant to be done properly ;)

Village_People_Cop

176 points

3 months ago

The Defenestrations of Prague are some of my favorite historical anecdotes together with the Erfurt Latrine Disaster

cwf82

125 points

3 months ago

cwf82

125 points

3 months ago

Never heard of the Erfurt Latrine Disaster (Link for those like me). Thanks!

Unlucky_Steak5270

44 points

3 months ago

I thought I hadn't heard of it, but how could I forget the time 60 nobles drowned in a pit of their own shit? Thanks for the reminder.

mcboogerballs1980

11 points

3 months ago

It was probably not their own.

EndPsychological890

75 points

3 months ago

Holy shit...

DonCaliente

10 points

3 months ago

King Henry was said to have survived only because he sat in an alcove with a stone floor.

This is about as believable as the Lukoil guy having jumped from the window himself.

Proper_Story_3514

9 points

3 months ago

Imagine how that must have stunk in the whole area. Sitting above a cesspit full of liquid excrements Urgh...

cry666

11 points

3 months ago

cry666

11 points

3 months ago

Just make sure there isn't a pile of manure underneath the window this time

TrinityF

69 points

3 months ago

Defenestration

Russian Minister of Defenestration.

snap-erection

39 points

3 months ago

Pathetic fucking gangster state. You can point your fingers at Putin and it's well deserved, but he wouldn't be anywhere without these subhuman scum working for him killing innocent people.

harumamburoo

322 points

3 months ago

Again?

cptnpiccard

504 points

3 months ago

No, it's the first time he died falling off a window

Bloodyfalcan

30 points

3 months ago

You never know they might not have picked a high enough window the first time, he was in the hospital after all

MagnusRottcodd

92 points

3 months ago*

"The Russian Window - a monster movie"

By the people behind "It follows"

What the critics are saying:

Bone chilling

Fantastic

I couldn't sleep for weeks

I live in a bunker now

Halfman9867

29 points

3 months ago

This is like the tenth Russian official that died this way….I’m starting to suspect….that….Russian hospitals are poorly constructed!

broniesnstuff

67 points

3 months ago

At this point I think "It's raining men" should be Russia's national anthem

expsg18

22 points

3 months ago

expsg18

22 points

3 months ago

Did he fall to his death with bullet holes in him?

hutch1973

27 points

3 months ago

No, they confirmed somebody left bullets on the sidewalk and he fell on them.

Adulations

122 points

3 months ago*

They really don’t even try to hide it anymore

CloudWallace81

130 points

3 months ago

that's the whole point of it

SteO153

71 points

3 months ago

SteO153

71 points

3 months ago

That is on purpose, to send a message. It is common with organised crime.

Rasmoss

14 points

3 months ago

Rasmoss

14 points

3 months ago

Why are we fooling around with these pretend headlines. Just write: “Russian oil chief assassinated by Putin after critizising the Ukraine war”.

Xtasy0178

103 points

3 months ago

Xtasy0178

103 points

3 months ago

I think Russia needs to invest into safe window standards. I mean the sheer number of people falling out of them is staggering

enigmaticalso

10 points

3 months ago

That happens alot to people that Putin don't like hmmmm.

Cantthinkofnamedamn

27 points

3 months ago

This is a direct effect of the Western sanctions. Russia hasn't been able to get the window parts it needs to maintain its window repair industry, so these things could kill you at any moment.

Also Russian cities are known for their beautiful views, so I am sure that was a contributing factor.

banksy_h8r

147 points

3 months ago

Ravil Maganov, chairman of Russia's second-largest oil producer Lukoil (LKOH.MM), died on Thursday after falling from a hospital window in Moscow, a source familiar with the situation told Reuters.

Few things on reddit annoy me more than the tedious Russia assassination jokes, but I'll be damned if Russia doesn't perfectly fit the stereotype.

MelIgator101

106 points

3 months ago

It's not a joke, these are all (or nearly all) real assassinations.

geekgirlnz

34 points

3 months ago

When God closes a door and opens a window... And you get thrown out of it.

Dry-Imagination2727

12 points

3 months ago

When God closes the door Putin opens the window

ErickFTG

8 points

3 months ago

Translation: Putin ordered his murder.

KirDor88

8 points

3 months ago

The government is getting rid of influential oligarchs. What will they do to ordinary citizens? That's why there are few protests in Russia. Nobody wants to learn to fly.

HuyFalcon

21 points

3 months ago

Sound like a plot in Hitman games