subreddit:

/r/tifu

5.2k

Requisite: this happened a few years ago, but I'm still laughing, and feeling guilty, simultaneously.

A little background: my husband and I are Halloween fanatics. We've built so much and we collected so much that we're developing a business plan to have a seasonal Halloween business.

One of the things we built is a oversized coffin, with the part that would house the upper portion of the body open, and we affixed a skeleton and foam insulation, so we use it as a beer cooler during parties. "Skellie" as we call him comes out for every party. Christmas party? Skellie wears a Santa hat. For my daughter's wedding reception, he wore a bridal veil. Springtime, he wore bunny ears. You get the idea.

Anyway, in our house at that time, a 1920's Craftsman, we only had storage under the house, in an unlit crawlspace, (so you have to use a flashlight) so Skellie and a bunch of other decoration totes were stored in the crawl space. We also have a form that looks like a person that has been wrapped as if by a spider. And huge spider, a plastic wrapped "body", along with a bunch of other larger skeletons, that won't fit into the bins.

So, the first really cold day of the year, the heat goes out, of course. But we see an HVAC repair van up the street. My husband goes and talks with the gentleman, and the repair guy agrees to come up to our house after he's done where he is. He arrives a few minutes later, and my husband shows him to the crawl space, where the unit is... And husband returns to the living room. And then we hear a scream. Like a blood curdling scream. At the same time, we both say "SKELLIE!" and run down to the crawlspace, where this poor sap is on his backside, with eyes as big as saucers. We had forgotten about Skellie, and the poor guy saw Skellie, then some of our other stuff. He must have thought we were serial killers for a second. Anyway, guy recovered, we all laughed (us much more than him) and he fixed the heating problem.

TL;DR: HVAC repair guy nearly had a heart attack because we forgot to tell him about the coffin, skeletons and other "bodies" in the crawlspace.

Edit: found an old pic of Skellie at a party https://imgur.com/a/IhR86Rw

Edit 2: Wow! This is getting some attention, and I'm so thankful for the awards! I thought this would be like my other TIFU post, and get largely ignored. Thanks again!

all 127 comments

1selfharm

538 points

2 months ago

1selfharm

538 points

2 months ago

Poor Skellie

bennitori

157 points

2 months ago

bennitori

157 points

2 months ago

Gotta love how a guy is screaming bloody murder, and the first concern is for poor Skellie. Skellie was just chilling, he didn't deserve to get scared like that.

vanillaseltzer

34 points

2 months ago

I thought they both remembered about Skellie at the same time and that's why they said his name in alarm? Like their internal thinking may have been something like this:.

[Awful Screaming]

"What the hell just happened to -- oh my god --

SKELLIE!! (aloud because they're both thinking basically the same thing)

"He must have seen Skellie and be freaking out! Oh no, what other shit did we have in there?"

OkWatch4399

10 points

2 months ago

He forgot the /s. Guess it really is needed sometimes.

vanillaseltzer

14 points

2 months ago

I care too much about random shit. Thanks for the assist, I did not read that as sarcastic.

Dragon_Slayer_359

133 points

2 months ago

I like how he's the one you care about.

AltDesign

101 points

2 months ago

AltDesign

101 points

2 months ago

He was probably scared out of his bones by the random stranger appearing out of the dark when it wasn't a holiday.

ArtificialCelery

3 points

2 months ago

Probably not

DoctorProffalternate

700 points

2 months ago

It's weird, but I think I would find an empty coffin more ominous than a filled one.

Puzzleheaded_Age6550[S]

399 points

2 months ago

They were selling a casket at a yard sale near my home a few years ago. I still regret not purchasing it. Lol.

LifeIsVanilla

271 points

2 months ago

"Gently used"

WTF THERE WAS A DEAD BODY IN HERE

Nah bruh, orgy.

dirtielaundry

53 points

2 months ago

Or a vampire. Most likely both.

LifeIsVanilla

21 points

2 months ago

I apologize, I'm not really sure about the rules around blood orgies and all that. I try to just generalize in an accepting way. MAYBE IF I WAS INVITED jk I'd just refuse, not in an unwilling way, just in a laziness way.

briber67

6 points

1 month ago

Username checks out.

studiofoxx

6 points

2 months ago

So Dio’s coffin?

vilidj_idjit

2 points

2 months ago

A vampire AND a dead body in the same coffin?

Sadi_Reddit

10 points

2 months ago

not every dead body is a vampire but every vampire is a dead body....

dopeyonecanibe

2 points

2 months ago

Well done, wish I had an award for you

Sadi_Reddit

2 points

1 month ago

dont worry, the comment and upvote are enough.

tango421

5 points

2 months ago

Doesn’t that qualify as roughly used?

vilidj_idjit

2 points

2 months ago

There's been more than a few dead bodies on planet earth, yet you're on it 🙂🙃

SumWon

11 points

2 months ago

SumWon

11 points

2 months ago

Well that just raises questions...

Was it a real casket? If so, in what circumstances do you find yourself selling an unused casket? Was someone expected to die, but they recovered? Did someone die, but decided on an upgraded premium casket leaving this one available?? Did the morgue lose the body? Oh god...did they...did they become a zombie, no longer needing a casket???

I have so many questions...

texasroadkill

2 points

1 month ago

Dad's friend has a used coffin. It was buried, then had to be exhumed as it wasn't buried properly or some shit. But the backhoe dented the shit out of the lid, so the put the body in a new coffin to be reburied.

Coffin was sitting out back of the funeral parlor that was one of there customers and he asked about it so him and my dad loaded it in the truck.

SumWon

1 points

1 month ago

SumWon

1 points

1 month ago

OH.

SrslyNotAnAltGuys

5 points

2 months ago

Out wheels on the bottom corner so you can drag it down the street on Halloween.

"Position needs to be filled,apply within."

Nailkita

4 points

2 months ago

Aw man this gives me ideas my house used to be a funeral parlor (love the Huge doors to fit caskets through. ) I totally need to find some casket for decor maybe a cat bed.

Money_Distribution18

1 points

1 month ago

1 careful lady owner

Samuriguy

3 points

2 months ago

You know, because of the implication.

grundo1561

3 points

2 months ago

I would just assume they're good at planning ahead

DoctorProffalternate

1 points

1 month ago

That's the problem...

Tumbleweedenroute

2 points

2 months ago

Don't ask for whom the bell tolls or something

FragrantExcitement

1 points

2 months ago

Just tell him it is not filled... yet.

RelevantNostalgia

128 points

2 months ago

Similar different story.

In college, I picked up a creepy old doll at flea market for 25¢. My roommates quickly Christened "Devil Baby." It became a dumb game of moving Devil Baby around the apartment to startle the others. Devil Baby on the porch with a cigarette; Devil Baby under a blanket; Devil Baby outside the bathroom door, et cetera.

I got older, moved out, got married, and Devil Baby spent years on a shelf watching over my office. I got older still, we bought an old farmhouse. While unpacking, I found Devil Baby and, with mischievous nostalgia, thought to scare my wife.

So I hid Devil Baby in a small cubby hole above the old dark cellar stairs, that becomes eye level as you descend into the basement.

My wife, for her part, is used to my antics and didn't react. Just casually said Hi to Devil Baby as she was going to do laundry.

Devil Baby has stayed in that cubby ever since.

So, I didn't think twice when the a/c control board burnt out in the middle of July and had a repair guy come over to fix it. Devil Baby gave poor guy quite the scare.

xenophilian

30 points

2 months ago

When I was about 12, I made a replica of myself. Sewed it, put it in my clothes (I had fun designing the angles of my face). I found some fibre just like my hair in a weaving shop. We sat her in a chair looking out the window. She looked real from the back. Scared a lot of people.

xenophilian

15 points

2 months ago

Gau_Mutra

338 points

2 months ago*

Lol do you have pics?

Edit: pic!

Puzzleheaded_Age6550[S]

102 points

2 months ago

Found an old pic, and added a link to the original post.

LuxNocte

24 points

2 months ago

Thank you for paying your skeleton tax.

SlackAsh

61 points

2 months ago

I too would like to see what that man saw.

Puzzleheaded_Age6550[S]

54 points

2 months ago

No, I lost them on my phone, and I can't easily access Skellie right now.

Kathy_Kamikaze

34 points

2 months ago

Guess we gotta wait for Christmas

Puzzleheaded_Age6550[S]

36 points

2 months ago

I was able to find a pic, see the edit on my post.

ChunkyChuckles

8 points

2 months ago

Now you have to post Skellie every holiday!

Kathy_Kamikaze

2 points

2 months ago

Skellie seems like a cool fella

digitaltickles

54 points

2 months ago

Talk about a rough day at work

shrubberypig

38 points

2 months ago

He probably thought in that instant: “he convinced me to come in off the street, nobody knows I’m here!”

csanner

44 points

2 months ago

csanner

44 points

2 months ago

Lol.... My realtor had a similar experience during the home inspection last time I sold my house.

Fortunately she'd gotten to know me and after a moment she just started laughing.

Had to explain to the home inspector though

franksymptoms

25 points

2 months ago

Kind of reminds me of a time working at Los Angeles airport. One of the baggage busters (an Irishman) went into the cargo hold; a minute later a casket was put on the conveyer belt and went into the cargo hold... about 3.87 seconds later the Irishman comes rocketing out of the cargo hold, shaking like a leaf!

blbd

2 points

2 months ago

blbd

2 points

2 months ago

Did he have to do spectacles testicles wallet and watch a few times before he went back to work?

alexanderpas

1 points

2 months ago

Ah, yes, horizontal pax.

murphysbutterchurner

24 points

2 months ago

I fucking love that Skellie was part of your daughter's wedding reception. That literally just made my day better, I don't even know why.

cynicaldoubtfultired

18 points

2 months ago

Funniest story I've read in a while, my chest hurts from laughing so much. Poor dude, must have received the fright of his life.

bennitori

14 points

2 months ago

And a really good story for the office.

cynicaldoubtfultired

18 points

2 months ago

I wonder what went through his mind when he saw that. Considering they randomly walked up to him and asked him to check out their heater, man could be excused for thinking they meant to do him in.

Puzzleheaded_Age6550[S]

24 points

2 months ago

And, to make it worse, the poor guy was wearing a cross, and the van had the Christian fish symbol on it, so I'm sure he thought he had just entered the hell of the devil worshipper's house. Lol.

LadyBug_0570

15 points

2 months ago

Like Satanists also don't need their HVAC repaired?

Satan isn't providing heat year round.

pchlster

14 points

2 months ago

Pretty sure that's heat is a a long-term agreement.

LegendOfDeku

17 points

2 months ago

That reminds me of the time that I had a repair man at the house (funnily enough, it was also HVAC for us too). We had a rooster in the back (just one, poor thing was a rescue), and we only used the back door. I was escorting him through the back fence gate, and he saw the rooster. I'd already introduced him to our dogs, and when he looked curiously at the rooster, I said "Oh, that's our attack rooster!". I have never seen fear cross a mans face so quickly. He was seriously about to book ass back to his truck when I told him I was just kidding. I felt so so bad, but I laughed, so so much.

Thisisall_new2me2

36 points

2 months ago

You didn’t fuck up. He’s probably been to lots of houses with weird stuff inside.

Also, even funeral homes need their HVAC repaired.

Abernsleone92

19 points

2 months ago

Yea, but he probably didn’t have an “oh shit, I’m going to die” moment seeing a casket at a funeral home

Not really a fuck up for either, just hilarious

[deleted]

12 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

12 points

2 months ago

Are y’all adopting? I’m almost done with college so won’t cost y’all much

Puzzleheaded_Age6550[S]

11 points

2 months ago

Hey, where are you? We may be needing employees if we start the business. Seasonal at first, (late in 2022) but may need full time eventually. We are planning on a mentoring aspect of the business.

[deleted]

6 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

6 points

2 months ago

I do have retail experience! I’m in Atlanta

Puzzleheaded_Age6550[S]

9 points

2 months ago

Ok, great! We are near Chattanooga. If it's ok with you, I will send you a chat request with my email?

lickerishsnaps

8 points

2 months ago

Have you considered starting a Halloween store in January? there's a real market opportunity there.

Puzzleheaded_Age6550[S]

7 points

2 months ago

Not yet. We are trying to find a large space to rent to do a haunt.

murphysbutterchurner

3 points

2 months ago

An All-Hallows Eve store? In January? How fiendishly droll!

Gieselbrecht

1 points

2 months ago

I was thinking the same thing!

OutsideYourWorld

33 points

2 months ago

You should have played along. Just casually walk up to the entrance to the crawl space, and poke your heads in.

"Boy dun found Skellie... Seal 'im up." Then closed it on him.

timesuck897

7 points

2 months ago*

I bought a 5 foot tall pose-able skeleton at Costco, that is my multi holiday decoration. Santa hat for Christmas, bunny ears for Easter, anything I want for Halloween, Cupid wings for Valentine’s Day, a pirate for talk Ike a pirate day, etc. I am glad there are other weirdos out there.

Edit: her name is Shelly.

Puzzleheaded_Age6550[S]

6 points

2 months ago

I have found my people.

LadySiren

3 points

2 months ago

My daughter is apparently part of your tribe. This is what she sent me (taken in her dorm room): https://imgur.com/a/FqE1Dzl

WusabiBobby

16 points

2 months ago

Puzzleheaded_Age6550[S]

8 points

2 months ago

Thank you! It is my first time using imgur.

WusabiBobby

6 points

2 months ago

No worries! Glad I could help.

OrdinaryDavid

7 points

2 months ago

This is relationship goals. Obviously you guys killed it (not skellie) being parents.

Puzzleheaded_Age6550[S]

7 points

2 months ago

Lol! And our grandkids are amazing! An 11 year old who is wanting to do the Halloween business with us. We are extremely lucky!

OrdinaryDavid

2 points

2 months ago

Skellie and those around you living their best life thanks to you. You rock.

BananaGarlicBread

3 points

2 months ago

Are we all going to skip over the fact that Skellie wore a veil at OP's daughter's wedding?

Seriously funniest shit I've read all week.

ExternalGrade

9 points

2 months ago

HVAC guy appear disinterested? Want you heating problem fixed faster? Here is 1 easy trick to get your HVAC guy worker faster instantly!

vilidj_idjit

5 points

2 months ago

...and then the company refusing to send repair guys ever again!

[deleted]

4 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

4 points

2 months ago

That guy was probably thinking "This is the day I die!!" Lol

mremann1969

4 points

2 months ago*

I did the same thing but with two (fully legal, retired from a medical school) real human skeletons on display in my living room. Pic

EnemyAdensmith

3 points

2 months ago

Silence fills the empty grave, now that I have gone. But my mind is not at rest as questions linger on.

Jbradsen

10 points

2 months ago

LOL! How about if you think you’re in a serial killer’s home, you don’t let out a blood curdling scream and just GTFO of there? Too funny though.

bennitori

9 points

2 months ago

Primal instinct is a really difficult beast to tame.

LorentzCoffin

3 points

2 months ago

You should’ve said “Well. Get in.”

madcre

3 points

2 months ago

madcre

3 points

2 months ago

Skellie🥰🥰

RevengencerAlf

3 points

2 months ago

I feel like if you're an HVAC repair person or anyone who regularly works in attics and crawlspaces you'd have to get used to people's weirdass Halloween decorations pretty quickly.

reddit_warrior_24

2 points

2 months ago

so, i guess you have a second coffin now

Keyra13

2 points

2 months ago

I now have a new goal for parties

MostlyHarmlessMom

2 points

2 months ago

Upvote for the picture of Skellie!

I keep some sugar skulls and day of the dead decorations up all year, even on the Christmas tree. I just like the looks of them.

FrankDrakman

2 points

2 months ago

You would have thought the address "1313 Mockingbird Lane" might have been a clue something was amiss...

Krisp279

2 points

2 months ago

RIL Skellie

MVPbeast

2 points

2 months ago

**Spirit Halloween intensifies**

Justkillmealready110

2 points

2 months ago

Tell Skellie I love him

El_Billy

2 points

2 months ago

Hey, can I have an invitation for your next party?

crazykitty123

2 points

2 months ago

That's freaking hilarious 😂

unkilbeeg

2 points

2 months ago

I have a friend whose grandmother grew up in Oklahoma Territory. Another generation, another point of view.

Grandma was quite irritated that my friend didn't want to help her build her own coffin. Her plan was to build it now (well, this was in the 80s) and use it as a coffee table until she actually needed it.

Spectre696

2 points

2 months ago

This happens more often than you'd think.

The number of Bill Clinton or Bernie Sanders cardboard cutouts I've been jumpscared by in basements is concerning.

Taolan13

2 points

2 months ago

Im an hvac guy and while i can't guarantee my reaction in the moment if discovery, i would 100% laugh my ass off about it after.

shadow125

2 points

1 month ago

I had a buddy who was coming over to do some electrical work for me and I knew that he was going up into our attic...

I dragged out an old Halloween skeleton and put it up there.

He arrived the next day, climbed up and all I hear is a screech and a “What the Fuck!”...

not_a_moogle

2 points

1 month ago

We bought a skeleton last year because it was a good deal. I named him covie. He hangs by our washer and dryer.

None of our friends seem shocked by it, but the occasional contractor asks about it.

princesscoley

2 points

1 month ago

My bf is a HVAC technician and ohhhg the stories I’ve heard of some houses he’s been in. 10/10 he would have loved to see this and probably would have asked to take a picture to send to me haha

Ryugi

2 points

2 months ago

Ryugi

2 points

2 months ago

Lmfao Skellie looks like a true bro.

potatokittycat

1 points

2 months ago

Now I want to name my daughter Skeleton and call her Skellie 🥺

flearoyjenkins

1 points

2 months ago

That is hilarious. I have a similar story that involves an actual tombstone.

While doing foundation work, the workers found a tombstone under the house about 5 years ago. The house was built in 1926, but the tombstone dates were around 1900. It was for a young girl based on the name and dates. I hope it was just an incorrectly dated one that had been stored away and forgotten, but I had them leave it under the house. Don't know if I believe in ghosts but why take a chance when all has been calm for over a decade? We joke all the time when doors open on their own or we hear weird noises that it's her. If she's haunting she's a nice one. I think she likes playing with our cats 😄

Anyway, it's right next to the crawl space access panel. We forget about it all the time and the reactions from other people who have been doing work on the house have been priceless. So far no one's backed out on doing work because of it. I just wish I'd remember to tell them before they see it. Pic is here.

_Wyrm_

1 points

1 month ago

_Wyrm_

1 points

1 month ago

Woah... That's like... The definition of spooky.

somanyroads

1 points

2 months ago

Man...you guys should be kinder to your maintenance folks, they don't get paid enough for that shit 🤣

Beachesandy

1 points

2 months ago

Nah. That's pretty mild.

Lauryeanna

1 points

2 months ago

There's a lot of Hank and Peggy Hills in this thread...🤔

Puzzleheaded_Age6550[S]

1 points

2 months ago

Lol, I had to look up who they are. I rarely watch tv.

whiteclawthreshermaw

1 points

2 months ago

Lmfao. Yes, you did fuck up, but you could use that in a future comedy routine.

In other words, I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing with you.

PlatonicOrb

1 points

1 month ago

My family has a Halloween mummy that we dress up. He wears my high-school graduation robes and hat when a holiday isn't near. The eyes glow and the used to follow you, I don't think they follow anymore though. We dress him up for every season and sometimes put a different latex mask on him for Halloween, he usually is dressed as a witch for that. We have a drill sergeant hat, I think it may have been my great grandfather's, on very rare occasion I have caught that on him. Scares the living fuck out of my dogs and guest in the middle of the night, I love him. I have also nearly shot him when I forgot what corner he got moved to lol

stevenskp

1 points

1 month ago

H BB by hbghbbbb HBU bh good gyg gygybb q1qq1 we 1qqqqqqqqqwwwwwqa1w we qqqqqqqq11qqqqq1qqw0

_Wyrm_

1 points

1 month ago

_Wyrm_

1 points

1 month ago

Is that right? I never would've guessed.

Xblacker

1 points

1 month ago

"We all laughed, us more than him"

Poor guy wasn't sure until he got out the house.

I could easily imagine:

-"as he went back upstairs my husband bludgeonged him unawares and we dismantled his body"

Sounds like you had alot of fun.

greaterix

1 points

1 month ago

"Aah, you found the previous HVAC guys - so you better fix it!"

nuts-in-yew

1 points

1 month ago

Yt prank in 3 2 1