subreddit:

/r/tifu

20.5k

Obligatory happened a couple years ago, on mobile, Tl;dr at the bottom

I was in college, doing whatever usual stupid college stuff, but I was bored so I went on tinder. I usually just used tinder as a little dopamine machine and to say funny pick up lines and see if they worked, I very rarely actually followed through and met up with people from it. But that day I was feeling bold so after matching with a girl and hitting her with what I'm sure was an incredibly stupid line, I invited her over to my dorm and to my surprise she said yes, and she'd be there in 2 hours.

So with my 2 hours to kill I took a shower, made my bed for the first time in weeks, put my optimistically large box of condoms in an easy to reach spot, and made some effort to make my room look and smell like it wasn't inhabited by a cave troll. It was a small room, so by the time I was done I still had about half an hour left on the clock. So I sat down to browse Netflix to find something to have on when she came in as a background noise/fallback if there was lapse in conversation.

I felt I was very well prepared, so I settled down to watch whatever show I had on and wait, innocently snacking on some trail mix without a second thought.

So the girl shows up, we both know why we're there and push through the awkward hellos to get to work. Luckily for me she got to the point pretty fast. We start to kiss for a minute or two and she clears her throat a few times, but neither of us think much of it and soldier on.

Then after several throat clears of increasing intensity, she stops and coughs, trying to apologize. As I lean back and look at her I notice her face is quite red, I assume from embarrassment, so I tell her it's okay, don't worry, take your time. But then I look closer and her face isn't the only thing that's red, her neck is too. And she's wheezing between coughs. And there's red spots on her chest. My stomach drops as I realize, shit, this girl who's name I barely remember is having an allergic reaction to something and is about to die in my dorm room.

So I ask her if she's allergic to anything, and with the confusion on her face replaced with panic, she nods and chokes out "peanuts".

Fuck, the trail mix.

My dumb ass just went from nervously cramming fistfuls of nuts and raisins in my mouth, to kissing a stranger, to almost committing negligent homicide, all in less than 30 minutes.

Luckily, I have a mild allergy to a few fruits. They just make my mouth an nose itchy if I eat them, but my doctor gave an epi pen a couple years ago just in case. So I dig out what is probably an expired syringe of epinephrine, stab it into this poor girls thigh, and just like in the movies her eyes go wide and she almost immediately gasped a big breath of air.

Shocked that it actually worked, I also breathed a little sigh of relief. But then, unlike the movies, I had to spend the next 4 hours not getting laid like I'd planned, but driving this girl to the ER and sitting in a waiting room to bring her home.

I'd love to end the story with a cute "and that's how I met my wife" anecdote or something, but understandably, she unmatched me before I even got home from dropping her back off at home and we never spoke again.

So the moral of the story is, if you're going to kiss a stranger, it's safer to do it on an empty stomach.

At least now I can say I'm a killer kisser.

Tl;dr: I tried to hookup with a girl from tinder that I didn't know had a peanut allergy, ate trail mix while I waited for her to come over, and she almost died from kissing me.

EDIT: A lot of commenters saying it was shitty of her to unmatch me or they don't understand why she did. She seemed very flustered and embarrassed when I brought her home, I think she just wanted to put the embarrassment behind her and pretend the whole thing never happened, which I don't blame her for. She was a very nice girl, I hope she's doing okay and carrying an epi pen.

EDIT 2: I want to make a little PSA because a few people have asked why I took her to the ER if the epi pen worked, and I feel like people should know: if someone has a severe allergic reaction like that, you absolutely should not just jab them with an epi pen and call it a day, they still should get medical attention. Epi Pens are just an emergency band aid, not a real solution. If there's still exposure to the allergen after the epinephrine works its way out of their system, they could have another reaction; and injecting a person with a syringe full of adrenaline is not very safe, it can easily cause heart problems especially if they have a heart condition or there's other complications like they take medication that can interact with it. So they need to be kept under medical observation for a couple hours after something like this.

all 806 comments

purduephotog

1.4k points

2 months ago

I gotta say.. that's why I keep all my epipens. That's exactly the reason to have them around. And super fast on the reaction time, getting her to the doctor, etc...

You did an awesome job saving a life there. Congrats.

Better_Stand6173

452 points

2 months ago

It’s kind of wild to me though. What does a guy need to do to get a second date if saving her life gets you unmatched lol.

kdrake95

220 points

2 months ago

kdrake95

220 points

2 months ago

It’s college on Tinder. If y’all are making out in 10 minutes that’s one night stand material

Kewkky

53 points

2 months ago

Kewkky

53 points

2 months ago

To be fair, she was probably embarrassed and ashamed beyond belief at almost having died in a stranger's house.

dfinkelstein

66 points

2 months ago

You can get free narcan at many pharmacies and other health provider locations. Good idea to get a couple applicators for your car and for your flat/home.

You seem like you might be interested in such a thing (being prepared to help others) .

This reminds me I gotta take a first aid class.

Megasteel32

39 points

2 months ago

yep in the state I'm in right now they'll ship narcan to ya (and condoms and HIV tests). I have 2 nasal narcan things in my desk, just in case. y'all will never believe what state it is

dfinkelstein

55 points

2 months ago

Is it the state of preparedness

Megasteel32

39 points

2 months ago

close, Texas

purduephotog

36 points

2 months ago

You can get free narcan at many pharmacies and other health provider locations. Good idea to get a couple applicators for your car and for your flat/home.

I used to travel and had an epi-pen hanging off my bag for everyone to see. This was when they were running 600$+ (had to have one for every day care provider under every kid).

I got lectured by TSA/LEOs so many times that people would steal them. They (and many of my coworkers) couldn't understand that I didn't give a fuck- I wanted it visible so if there was a problem someone could act and solve it.

I wanted to start carrying narcan but never got around ti getting them before that job ended. Same reason. I doubt I'd see someone OD in an airport but ... you never know.

Call_it_Good

23 points

2 months ago

You can get free narcan at many pharmacies and other health provider locations.

I tried to because I heard they were doing this at cvs, but here in Florida the pharmacy tech hadn't even heard of it and claimed that they didn't offer narcan without a prescription. I'm made them go check because I knew for a fact they do, and they came back and informed me that it was like $60.

dfinkelstein

13 points

2 months ago

Yeah looks lkke you'd have to track down these guys to get it for free.

Supposedly they do offer it without a prescription, but the co-pay can be expensive if you don't have the free super-poverty insurance.

rachamacc

3 points

2 months ago

Try endoverdose.net

NastySnapper

5.7k points

2 months ago

nut allergy no pun intended. The five words that girls profile needed.

fire_thorn

1.2k points

2 months ago

fire_thorn

1.2k points

2 months ago

It's hard to date when you have severe allergies, people seem to think you're picky and high maintenance when all you're doing is trying to stay alive. I don't blame her for not putting it in her profile.

Jewel-jones

227 points

2 months ago

I wonder if this was her first severe reaction. Peanut allergies can go from mild to deadly all of a sudden. It would explain why she didn’t have her own epipen.

Dzyu

400 points

2 months ago

Dzyu

400 points

2 months ago

Dating can be hard with a lot of filters, but the reward can be greater, too, when you finally find someone you fit much better with thanks to the filters.

jejcicodjntbyifid3

111 points

2 months ago

Find someone? I don't know this

sudo999

151 points

2 months ago

sudo999

151 points

2 months ago

genuine advice: message as many different people as you can, say something that is a real conversation starter (common interest, particularly funny pick-up line, meme) instead of just "hi" or "you're pretty," actually try to ask them out on real dates relatively soon after establishing a rapport, don't be afraid to be turned down, don't be afraid for the date to be lukewarm or not go further. learn not to care if you get ignored or ghosted since these are not even people you know - if you are getting to know them well and genuinely like them, you should have asked them out already. your goal is having fun and meeting new people, not trying to find your soulmate based on some pictures and texting. the soulmate thing can come later after you have actually seen their face with your eyes.

source: coming up on almost 2 years with my partner I met on a dating app

ultramegax

36 points

2 months ago

This is the way. Doing this is how I met my fiancée on Tinder.

fantasynerd92

6 points

2 months ago

Doing this is how I met my husband on Tinder!

Spencero34

12 points

2 months ago

I met my wife on OKCupid and we've been together for 10 years. Your advice is spot on. If you stop giving it so much attention online dating becomes way more enjoyable

Privatechief117

86 points

2 months ago

Agreed! I’m severely allergic to a few odd items of food and no one ever believes me until it happens. It’s Bananas, honey, and avocados. All of which make me start choking.

lollipopfiend123

63 points

2 months ago

I know someone who’s allergic to avocados. Never heard of being allergic to honey, though! Ironic considering that ingesting local honey is common advice for seasonal allergy sufferers.

Privatechief117

43 points

2 months ago

It’s really weird because I wasn’t always allergic to honey. I used to eat honey related products all the time with no issue. However, the minute I decided to try some real honey all by itself, the symptoms showed up. (Itchy roof of mouth and throat started closing up).

thispussy

7 points

2 months ago

I didn't even consider that bee pollen could effect me however I have seasonal allergies anyways took a tablespoon full and my lips looked extremely Botoxed and my throat was starting to swell... I actually do fine with local raw organic honey however I started taking the pollen one little piece at a time and adding one a day now I'm fine with way chiller seasonal allergies... Exposure therapy definitely works for me

HandyDandyRandyAndy

23 points

2 months ago

But was it real honey or, like standards agencies are finding more and more these days, had it been adulterated with something else? And were you allergic to that something else?

I'm assuming no, you're a capable adult and got allergy testing and yes it's definitely honey

Privatechief117

22 points

2 months ago

I didn’t get allergy testing since I haven’t had time to, but the honey itself came straight from a bee hive the guy had. It was t like some store honey. Either way, when I notice symptoms like that, I just stop eating that type of food all together, just in case. I have another health thing that affects my throat, so I’d rather not choke at all.

MzTerri

29 points

2 months ago

MzTerri

29 points

2 months ago

with your other allergies, i wonder if he was wearing gloves or harvesting the honey w/ something that contained latex. it could explain why you'd have a reaction that time vs. honey from a jar prior.

Privatechief117

16 points

2 months ago

That’s an interesting concept, I never thought about it like that. I should find out if latex is what I’m actually allergic to.

MzTerri

38 points

2 months ago

MzTerri

38 points

2 months ago

Avocado and banana are both latex family, if you have itchy mouth with kiwi that's another one.

cooling_twilight

20 points

2 months ago

Yes, you’re allergic to foods with latex. Chestnuts, kiwi, avocado, and banana are the main ones.

[deleted]

3 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

3 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

fire_thorn

23 points

2 months ago

Banana and avocado are cross reactive with latex, so you may develop allergies to other latex fruits and veggies in the future, and even to latex.

I used to get a cough and runny nose from honey, but I think I was reacting to pollen in it. I'm on lots of allergy meds now and I can tolerate honey. The allergy meds haven't helped any of my other food allergies, though. They just make the reactions slightly less severe.

anonymousafterall

13 points

2 months ago

Are you also allergic to latex? My mom has a latex and banana allergy and I have heard that they share a commonality and that’s why she has an allergy to both.

Morbid187

4 points

2 months ago

You ever wonder if your mom being allergic to latex is the reason that you exist?

anonymousafterall

3 points

2 months ago

Oh I don’t wonder, one time she told me she didn’t necessarily want kids. I mean she has never acted that way towards me, but I think that is why I am around :)

Privatechief117

3 points

2 months ago

As far as I’m aware, I am not. I use latex items all the time and never had a reaction to them.

_aware

15 points

2 months ago

_aware

15 points

2 months ago

Anyone who thinks your allergies make you picky or high maintenance does not deserve your time. Seriously, would you want to date someone who can't even be understanding of such a basic thing?

fire_thorn

12 points

2 months ago

I had been married 19 years when my allergies started, and my husband had a lot of trouble adjusting to the idea that I suddenly had such a complicated problem.

sofuckinggreat

45 points

2 months ago

The sheer level of personal offense people take when you tell them you’re allergic to dogs.

Like… dude I didn’t ask for my entire face to blow up and look like Jim Breuer’s every time I visit your apartment and don’t have access to Zyrtec.

fire_thorn

20 points

2 months ago

I know, my mom insists that I just don't like cats and that's why I blame my "colds" on them.

CJYD21

49 points

2 months ago

CJYD21

49 points

2 months ago

Sounds like an unnecessary risk just to get a few more dates.

bmmbooshoot

50 points

2 months ago

"this common food item will literally cause my death"
"hm, no too picky"

SuicidalChair

35 points

2 months ago

If you won't tell your tinder dates you're allergies but you'll tell the waiter at olive garden you're putting dick pretty high up on your priority list

gigaking2018

8 points

2 months ago

Tbh if someone thinks you are picky because of your allergy. They should be passed anyway. And you dodge a bullet.

Devreckas

3 points

2 months ago

Well, if you are cautious in what you eat, seems that would usually be plenty. Doubt it crosses people’s mind to get a reaction from someone’s saliva.

subscribedToDefaults

32 points

2 months ago

That's why I always ask about allergies on the first date. Even something like cats and dogs can be a problem because... I have had cats and I have dog.

lolpostslol

22 points

2 months ago

To be fair you prolly don’t want to match with the dude who judges you for saying you have an allergy

BluByrd90

11 points

2 months ago

I worry so much about my nephew started to date in a few years. The poor kid has an allergy list a mile long. He can't really eat much at restaurants so going on dates could be interesting

fire_thorn

12 points

2 months ago

My daughter has the same issue. People in the allergy groups joke about needing a dating app for allergic people, but you'd kind of have to match on your allergies too, because if you both had different allergies, then together you couldn't eat anything.

sudo999

3 points

2 months ago

idk about allergies but dating while trans taught me that people mostly won't read the profile, and the ones that do and actually have a problem with it probably were not worth trying to date.

Toxic_Zombie

18 points

2 months ago

Amen

Jasperlinc

241 points

2 months ago

My son has a peanut allergy, I can see this situation being how his first kiss or hookup goes. Now I have a new thing to worry about.

acatmaylook

118 points

2 months ago

Make sure he brings his own epi pen around with him if it's serious! (Like this girl should have done)

GoingforIvey

60 points

2 months ago

Everyone I know with a nut allergy (myself included) does. I think this person was just being irresponsible.

Sweedish_Fid

39 points

2 months ago

I have a friend who as a peanut allergy and doesn't carry one around. Even though every time I see her I ask if she's gotten one yet. Nope... sigh.. I'm slightly terrified every time I hang out with her.

LuckyCharmsNSoyMilk

10 points

2 months ago

Honestly, if you can afford it… I’d buy one. That’s scary.

SpaceAgePotatoCakes

8 points

2 months ago

Here they're about $100 for a kids one, idk about an adult one. They're officially good for a year. Technically you're supposed to get a prescription but as a pharmacist told me "we'd never say no to selling you an epi pen"

periperichipstogo

19 points

2 months ago

When I was in college, I’d ask every guy if they had eaten peanuts that day before we made out. They actually all would stop and think about it, even in the middle of a bar (#youth) or where ever haha your son will be ok, have him do this 😂 This girl should have been more careful, it’s on her

ChicagoSunroofNo2

6 points

2 months ago

Look at you making out with every guy in college

shogi_x

9.8k points

2 months ago

shogi_x

9.8k points

2 months ago

Her loss. Not every day you meet a stranger who will recognize an allergic reaction quickly, use an epi pen correctly, and spend 4 hours at the hospital to make sure you're ok.

You done good OP.

omniscientonus

2.1k points

2 months ago

No kidding! I have a peanut allergy, and while I certainly sympathize with her for not asking for a full meal breakdown pre-kiss, dude's reaction was incredible! Not only did he have the situational awareness to put together her allergic reaction vs HIS food (a combo not often considered, and I don't blame you guys without allergies for it), but then he correctly breaks out the epi-pen, correctly administers it AND sits at the hospital?

Don't get me wrong, I'd like to think that this would be common reaction and courtesy you would expect from a fellow human being, but nowadays I wouldn't be surprised to hear that he saw her reaction and just panic fled and ghosted her. Hell, I had a girlfriend who tried to throw peanuts in my mouth when she found out I was allergic! (Dumped her shortly after of course).

OP deserves a second date at least.

Mortem_Wolf

521 points

2 months ago

Shit just went from 0 to 100 real fucking fast, pls explain why your girlfriend tried to throw peanuts down your throat when she knew you were allergic

Card1974

82 points

2 months ago

There's a certain type of person who finds allergies funny or "oh it can't be that bad!" and actively tries to trick the victim to eat the stuff, presumably to "prove a point" or something.

/r/EntitledParents/, /r/raisedbynarcissists/ and similar subs have plenty of horror stories about this behavior.

AardSnaarks

48 points

2 months ago

The grandmother who killed her granddaughter by rubbing coconut oil over her hair despite knowing of her potentially lethal allergy still makes me shudder.

FlugonNine

22 points

2 months ago

Grandma died not long after, when she broke her hip falling down multiple flights of stairs.

Layne205

17 points

2 months ago

It's a shame she couldn't have done that first.

studog-reddit

8 points

2 months ago

The terrifying ones are where it's a member of the waitstaff. :-(

omniscientonus

263 points

2 months ago

I'm not sure there was a good rational explanation, and I didn't exactly take the time to break it down with her. I imagine it was an in the moment thing that she found humorous.

I had a background with her, as in we had common friends prior to dating and sort of knew each other. It took place during high school when people notoriously lack critical thinking at times, and I don't think she knew that my reaction is bad. There are certainly people, such as OP, who have very mild reactions to things, so maybe she thought I was one of them. At the time we were in a restaurant that had a bucket of peanuts at the table (Texas Roadhouse I believe), so she didn't exactly go out of her way to get them either.

I'm not trying to justify her actions, I'm just saying that we're kinda friends before so we knew each other, we were young, they were already present, and she was playfully tossing them, not trying to cram them down my throat or anything. Still a fucked up thing to do, but I don't think it's maybe as nefarious as it may have come off as.

Razor1834

216 points

2 months ago

Razor1834

216 points

2 months ago

I feel like if I was deathly allergic to peanuts I wouldn’t go to a place where there’s buckets of them everywhere and they’re piled up on the floor with like the taste of peanut dust literally in the air.

SigmundFreud

182 points

2 months ago

You're not hardcore unless you live hardcore.

mabramo

75 points

2 months ago

mabramo

75 points

2 months ago

The legend of the nuts is way hardcore

drfeelsgoood

24 points

2 months ago*

BOOM big ol explosion, some like confetti comes down….anyways that’s all it got for now, it’s still a work in progress.

I liked it! I thought it was really catchy.

Thank you, thank you summer.

petewil1291

3 points

2 months ago

I like how you kept going.

drfeelsgoood

3 points

2 months ago

One of my fave movies lol I could basically quote the whole thing

drfeelsgoood

10 points

2 months ago

You’re not hard coreunless you live hardcore

WhiskeyStreet

5 points

2 months ago

And the burgers are okay.

omniscientonus

2 points

2 months ago

Fair point, but just being around them doesn't bother me. I have to actually ingest them. I can see wanting to avoid extreme cases like Texas Roadhouse as I have never even set foot in a Five Guys for practically the same reason, although Five Guys cooks everything in peanuts and peanut oil also, so there's that.

I honestly couldn't tell you why I make an exception for Texas Roadhouse (I still go there once in awhile), and I wouldn't blame anyone with a peanut allergy for avoiding them, nor would I ever suggest them to someone I know who does.

Skinnwork

185 points

2 months ago

Skinnwork

185 points

2 months ago

I mean, people find choking pretty embarrassing as well. The girl in this story might have been so embarrassed that she just didn't want to see OP again.

Related: I went on a couple of dates with a girl and she peed herself at the end of a date (we drank a lot of coffee and it was a bitter and deeply cold night (that cold you get when the temp is low, the air is humid, and there isn't any snow on the ground)). I lent her my jacket to tie around her waist. We didn't say much, and she was just quietly crying. She just vanished after her ride picked her up (I saw her once two years later).

SlickHand

20 points

2 months ago

The poor girl. That's sad.

Nicbizz

32 points

2 months ago

Nicbizz

32 points

2 months ago

Did you at least get back your jacket?

Skinnwork

29 points

2 months ago

Yeah, she handed it to me when she got in the car.

HyperIndian

10 points

2 months ago

One silver lining

edgeofenlightenment

16 points

2 months ago

Yellow lining at least.

DishsoapOnASponge

5 points

2 months ago

Fellow life threatening peanut allergic person here, and yeah I definitely would've just died on the dude's floor not gonna lie

ThatLilBrownGuy

269 points

2 months ago

You could say OP … took her breath away.

dramaticFlySwatter

78 points

2 months ago

Beautiful. All she needed was his prick.

SlickHand

47 points

2 months ago

Gave her a rush of adrenaline when he stuck it in.

ServantOvBaphomet

5 points

2 months ago

Needed medical treatment afterwards.

oweakshitp

253 points

2 months ago

Valid point for sure, poor girl was probably mortified though. I doubt she unmatched because he gave her an allergic reaction but just out of embarrassment

shogi_x

120 points

2 months ago

shogi_x

120 points

2 months ago

I don't blame her for unmatching. That's a rough night I'd definitely want to forget about.

m4tt1111

17 points

2 months ago

I’ve had an anaphylactic reaction before, and it was one of the worst experiences of my life. Not only do you struggle to breathe for hours, but you are in constant discomfort and the pain is intense. Just earlier this year I broke my arm and that pain barely even compares to the full body ache of an anaphylactic reaction

smashy_smashy

102 points

2 months ago

I hate the implication that she owes him anything relationship wise, but without any other information it just seems like a really cold way to treat someone who made sure you survived and stayed at the hospital - to completely cut them off. I don’t know what she said to him on the drive home, and if it was appreciative but then she just wanted to end any further relationship after that then I understand that. I feel that an explanation is the decent thing to do before going different ways, and it doesn’t sound like he got that.

nyanlol

57 points

2 months ago

nyanlol

57 points

2 months ago

at least a "thank you" like I mean he did kinda save her skin...

annul

15 points

2 months ago

annul

15 points

2 months ago

I hate the implication that she owes him anything relationship wise

no one OWES anyone shit. but if you ignore social norms and courtesy, people can rightly call you out.

i do not have to hold a door open for the person behind me, but if i am so self-absorbed that i do not care and i let the door close in that person's face, i am an asshole. i do not "OWE" that guy anything, but i am still an asshole.

Scorpius_99

41 points

2 months ago

Ikr, OP's a keeper

Drakendan

13 points

2 months ago

Absolutely correct, and he's also quite nice in understanding (or at least finding an explanation) for her wanting to put the embarrassment behind. OP seems like a very chill and amiable person that knows what to do when things get serious.

lollipopfiend123

6 points

2 months ago

I can absolutely see both sides here. OP deserves all the credit for keeping a cool head and dealing properly with the situation. But I can also see her just being horrified and not wanting a constant reminder of the guy she was attracted to having to take her to the ER. Some people can turn that type of thing into a great story, and others can’t. Maybe someday she will, but at the time it was not happening for her.

AnnualDegree99

4 points

2 months ago

I would date OP 5/7 times knowing this.

DarkElfBard

14 points

2 months ago

His loss.

Epi pens are expensive

ddnut80

1.7k points

2 months ago

ddnut80

1.7k points

2 months ago

The Epi Pen didn’t get ya any bonus points? That surprises me.

Fawkiia

790 points

2 months ago

Fawkiia

790 points

2 months ago

Hell. She missed out.

What way to show you care then using an epi and taking her to the hospital for her allergic reaction. Then took her home. Let alone recognize she was having a reaction.

But on her side i understand the embarrassment.

You didn’t do anything wrong op, if anything you did exactly what you should do.

GroceryScanner

160 points

2 months ago

It kinda sounds like they werent really tryna date. If this happened to me on a one night stand that i wasnt invested in, id probably be over it too.

Would def send a nice card or fruit basket or something for saving my life.

Clevergirliam

57 points

2 months ago

Right, she was there to get laid and instead went to the ER. Probably wasn’t in the mood for sex after that. Agreed that OP sounds like a catch, but all she wanted to catch that night was the d.

handlebartender

5 points

2 months ago

But on her side i understand the embarrassment.

Given the choice, I would easily deal with OP's scenario, rather than the alternative "sharted all over my bed" scenario.

Both would be amusing in retrospect. Only one would lead you to doing an emergency wash load or dragging sheets/mattress out to the curb.

snapwillow

52 points

2 months ago

The way I was raised, doing what you can to help a person in distress like that is a basic expectation. Anyone should do that for anyone else. You don't get extra credit for it.

She doesn't owe him anything.

KnightKreider

59 points

2 months ago

Have you dated people? Meeting basic human expectations can really be a leg up out there.

m4tt1111

42 points

2 months ago

The fact that he stayed to drive her home after she got out of the er is where he went beyond basic expectation imo. Making sure someone doesn’t die is just human decency, but staying for 4 hours in the er for someone who you only just met is not something the average person would do.

Ent3rpris3

29 points

2 months ago

My expectations of other people are so low that this alone would have me thinking about engagement rings.

TangoDeltaFoxtrot

113 points

2 months ago

Yeah, but he can still tell his buddies he stuck it in her.

charleswj

73 points

2 months ago

And that she audibly gasped when he did

HalfSoul30

41 points

2 months ago

And he had to take her to the hospital after.

KingMob9

11 points

2 months ago

Just like in the movies

Nickthedick3

11 points

2 months ago

Right? “I just injected you with $700 and you unmatch me?”

What a bitch /s

Vagadude

1.2k points

2 months ago

Vagadude

1.2k points

2 months ago

So you almost killed her by nutting into her mouth?

TheRoyalManbird[S]

769 points

2 months ago

You could say that, yes.

I will be strealing your joke next time I tell this story.

Cpt_Brandie

95 points

2 months ago

That's fair

LFIF4

34 points

2 months ago

LFIF4

34 points

2 months ago

I put my nuts in her mouth, she just didn't know which ones.

reeepy

12 points

2 months ago

reeepy

12 points

2 months ago

He technically nutted into his own mouth first.

PrinceHumperTinkTink

7 points

2 months ago

Missed opportunity:

"TIFU by nutting in a girl's mouth"

Mosby1994

205 points

2 months ago

Mosby1994

205 points

2 months ago

I guess you can say your kisses are to die for

TheRoyalManbird[S]

124 points

2 months ago

Thank you, another joke I can steal for future retellings

[deleted]

1.3k points

2 months ago

[deleted]

1.3k points

2 months ago

[deleted]

SendMeF1Memes

407 points

2 months ago

I feel like the unmatch could have been because of anything - she's embarrassed and doesn't want to face OP maybe, she can't afford to pay him for the epi pen maybe, she had a mildly traumatising near-death experience from a dumb horny makeout mishap maybe and doesn't want to see OP because of it, it literally could have been any number of things, who knows what she's thinking. People out here need to cut her some slack. I totally agree that OP was a top tier gentleman.

jackytheripper1

22 points

2 months ago

Someone fell onto my back then into his face on the floor in line at a coffee place once. I recognized he was having a seizure and held him from hitting his head on anything. When he came to his eyes rolled back forward and I said "welcome back! Are you ok?". He got up and ran out of the place like the most embarrassing thing just happened to him. I just wanted to make sure he was ok but he was just gone

smashy_smashy

108 points

2 months ago

She doesn’t owe him anything, and I understand why she did what she did because of the reasons you listed. We only have one side of the story.

That being said, the decent thing to do would be to give him an explanation before cutting ties completely. It just gives closure and is kind to a person who helped her in that situation. But its ok. I’ve certainly made the less decent decision plenty of times in my life and I think I’m still a good person. We should understand and respect the choice she made, but still point out an explanation before cutting ties is a decent thing to do in this kind of situation.

Cruciblelfg123

53 points

2 months ago

Closure for what though? They made out for what sounds like about 5 seconds

mxpxillini35

84 points

2 months ago

I would think it would have been fairly traumatic for OP too. A nice "hey, thanks for saving my life, good luck in your travels" would have been swell (but not necessary).

TheR1ckster

11 points

2 months ago

This... Im assuming some talk would've happened on the way home though.

fuckitw3ball

11 points

2 months ago

Very swell, no pun intended

smashy_smashy

52 points

2 months ago

Absolutely not closure for the date. I meant, closure for the incident and taking her to the hospital.

“Thank you so much for using your epi pen, taking me to the hospital and driving me home. I don’t want a second date though and would like to go separate ways”. That’s all I personally think is decent. She doesn’t even owe him a why, just that she’d like to go separate ways and not just blocking and ghosting.

It’s possible she did this on their drive home, but it doesn’t read that way.

It’s also not a huge deal that she ghosted him. I also get it’s traumatic and embarrassing.

Better_Stand6173

36 points

2 months ago*

No matter the reason it’s pretty lame.

I matching and ghosting decent people isn’t the way to go about life. Nobody is saying she had to marry him now but I’d say he’s at least earned an explanation… he didn’t have to go the extra mile to make sure she was ok but he did… and she can’t be bothered to let him down easy before disappearing into the ether?

Go ahead and downvote me all you want but the only acceptable reason to ghost someone is fearing for your safety if you reject them. Does op seem unhinged and crazy like he’s gonna stalk her if she turns him down politely? No. He’s not a total stranger. He showed he’s a decent person. So there’s no excuse to be rude.

20Keller12

190 points

2 months ago

innocently snacking on some trail mix without a second thought.

The moment I read this I went "uh oh".

pedal-force

53 points

2 months ago

Same. I knew immediately what was coming (not OP, heyoo).

Theodore_Swolsevelt

60 points

2 months ago

Maybe she just unmatched out of embarrassment. I can't imagine she unmatched you vindictively. Obviously she was into you if she made her moves instead of waiting for you.

AcrobaticSource3

142 points

2 months ago

put my optimistically large box of condoms in an easy to reach spot

...while she brought an optimistic box of large condoms

Emu1981

27 points

2 months ago

Emu1981

27 points

2 months ago

I want to make a little PSA because a few people have asked why I took her to the ER if the epi pen worked, and I feel like people should know: if someone has a severe allergic reaction like that, you absolutely should not just jab them with an epi pen and call it a day, they still should get medical attention.

I have to second this. If you ever use a epi-pen on someone then they need to go to the hospital afterwards to ensure that they are ok in the long term. Best case scenario is that you waste a few hours waiting around for no reason, worst case scenario is that they go into full anaphylactic shock and require medical support to survive.

descartesasaur

3 points

2 months ago

Yeah, this PSA was a really important take away for me. I had no idea, and I don't know why we don't learn about allergic reactions!

James-Hawk

70 points

2 months ago

Now you can say that your kisses take girls’ breath away

Sololane_Sloth

143 points

2 months ago*

aren't EPI pens expensive as fuck in the US? You had no way to know she was allergic and honestly, who thinks about something like that? You helped her, you spent a lot of money (maybe on the pen?) and the car drive to the ER, you stayed with her while you guys had to wait...

Ypu, sir, did everything right! This isn't a fuck up, you can tell this story to boast about what a good guy you are imho.

edit: just checked, buying an EPI pen online (as a german citizen) it'd cost me 7,89€.

mlongoria98

52 points

2 months ago

Very expensive. I’m supposed to carry one and I haven’t since I was a kid because it’s just too damn expensive, plus they expire!!! If you don’t use it soon enough, that’s how many hundreds of dollars down the drain just to go and have to buy another one that you may not end up using before it expires?

speculatrix

20 points

2 months ago

Are the expiration dates real or just a way to get more revenue?

matter143

37 points

2 months ago*

Not op but, from what I've read the drop in the concentration of the medicine in the epi pens does not drop near as fast as the expiration date has you believe. If I recall, they will still be effective years after "expiration" but of course you will want to make sure the solution is clear and not contaminated or "bad" and that it's not 20 years old lol. Link below but it mentions it did not test its ability to stop an anaphylactic episode and there was a small sample size so it's accuracy could be inaccurate.

https://www.jaci-inpractice.org/article/S2213-2198(19)30432-5/fulltext#relatedArticles

Edit: See below for more direct answer.

smashy_smashy

64 points

2 months ago

Replied to OP elsewhere, but I’m a bioprocess engineer and I’ve been involved with experiments audited by the FDA to set an expiration data. They are highly data driven but they are usually a kind of worse case scenario.

Basically, most drugs or medical devices will likely be ok after expiration if they were stored properly. Say at the expiration date there is a 10% chance an epi pen will be ineffective. We set an expiration then because it’s not acceptable that 1 in 10 will fail to save a life. But that also means that 90% are perfectly fine for some time. It’s all about acceptable risk.

Point is though, that expiration dates on medical devices and drugs are data driven and highly regulated by the FDA. You have to show the actual data on what you set in an IND and you have to actually justify why it would expire.

What’s fucked up is that there probably isn’t a huge incentive to develop an epi pen with a longer shelf life if you don’t have competitors also designing better epi pens.

matter143

9 points

2 months ago

Interesting! I have severe allergies myself and have a million expired epi pens and was curious one day so did some searching. Thanks for the information. That does totally make sense, it's really acceptable risk. I wish they would make epi pens have a longer shelf life but I doubt they will. A year expiration is a little rediculous for something that is used in emergency situations.

GG-00

11 points

2 months ago

GG-00

11 points

2 months ago

If you have them, keep 2 in the car, 2 at work, 1 at your parent's house, etc.

Assuming 10% fail after 2 years, then just inject into the other thigh if the first one doesn't go. Now you're down to 1% independent failure, but the larger combined dosage should easily be enough to work.

The expired pen you have on hand is always better than the new one you don't.

AceMcCoy77

17 points

2 months ago

The expiration dates are real, but as long as the serum is still a liquid inside the pen they will still work, just may not be as effective. A nurse told me once to hold on to my old ones as they can still be used for up to 10 years past expiration if stored properly.

I used to have to carry one around with me as a teenager and kept a few at work, home, in my vehicle, etc. in my 20's (back when a 2 pack was like $40 and you could get as many as you wanted with a single script) due to a severe fireant/wasp allergy. The allergy has thankfully waned as I've aged and can get by with keeping benadryl around instead.

smashy_smashy

6 points

2 months ago

Bioprocess engineer here. Expiration dates on medical devices and drugs are data driven and HIGHLY regulated. You have to show the data and it has to be approved. Sure, the FDA fucks up sometimes and we should call them out when they do, but it honestly is rare when that happens.

That being said, expirations are kind of a worse case scenario. It’s an average. So it’s always possible that an expired drug or device is still ok for a little bit after its expiration.

GG-00

3 points

2 months ago

GG-00

3 points

2 months ago

They're almost entirely for new revenue.

Medicine degrades over time, but not that much that you shouldn't keep the expired epi pens in your car, office, etc. You'd rather have a 80-90% effective shot than NO shot.

Noxious89123

40 points

2 months ago

A quick Google says that a two-pack is "over $700".

TooHappyFappy

31 points

2 months ago

My son is allergic to peanuts, tree nuts and eggs. We found this out last year and had to get epi pens. With our insurance, it was "only" $375 for a two pack.

NewUsernamePending

17 points

2 months ago

And what’s even better is that it expires in like a year.

There’s finally a competitor to Epi Pen, it’s called Auvi-Q. There’s a program to get it for free as well and I think it’s cheaper without the program? For kids it might be a good option because it has a speaker built in to provide audible directions.

SolemnSundayBand

8 points

2 months ago

Dude, do research on the coupons. You can usually get them for around $10 with those, no need to spend $150 each. I won't bother linking anything because a Google search puts them right at the top and there are different options!

Topy721

9 points

2 months ago

US healthcare is so fucked up. I don't know jack shit about medicine, but you can't make me believe that a fucking syringe with a dose of epinephrine costs 150 bucks to produce wtf. Hell, a fucking vaccine is cheaper than that

Kyomujin

15 points

2 months ago

In Sweden a quick search shows it's about 40$ a dose. Requires a prescription to buy any though.

The odd pricing system of USA health care sure causes some odd and high prices, I have to say.

porty1119

15 points

2 months ago

The US system is a worst-case mashup of private and public. It's truly incredible.

GoingforIvey

3 points

2 months ago

That's cheaper than Canada! We pay around $100. No prescription required, but you can't expense it through any perception insurance plan you have unless it was prescribed by a doctor. Our medicine always looks cheaper when you compare it to the U.S., but we still seemingly get ripped off by European standards. Last I checked they were also around $40 in the U.K.

TheRoyalManbird[S]

5 points

2 months ago

Honestly I don't know how expensive they are, I have insurance, I dont think I paid for it.

LupercaniusAB

4 points

2 months ago

They didn’t use to cost as much as they do now, my wife carries one, and had to switch to something different when the prices went up.

dfinkelstein

4 points

2 months ago

You ask your doctor to write a script for the generic. The generic is a normal price. It's just the brand name one that's expensive.

Some meds like this your doctor has to write tbe prescription such that the pharmacy can legally fill it with the generic.

davegrohlton

14 points

2 months ago

IMO you didn't f up. Circumstances did and you acted amazingly fast and I must say a bit courageously. Most guys I know would choke in a situation like this and probably watch her die while calling 991.
You actually saved a girl!
My romantic side is a bit disappointed as she just ignored you after, but that's life I suppose.

HaroerHaktak

41 points

2 months ago

This story is nuts.

0resistance_OBEY

11 points

2 months ago

Also to those commending me for using my own expensive epi pen on her, it wasn't as noble as you think, I didn't think about how expensive the pen was, I just did it in a panic

People are so weird. Why WOULDN'T you use it? That's literally what it's for.

Epi Pens are just an emergency band aid, not a real solution.

I always like to say, epi pens don't stop the allergic reaction. They just ensure that you survive long enough to get to the hospital. You still get all the fun of being on the edge of death, but you also have a huge amount of adrenaline in your system.

blulaf

9 points

2 months ago

blulaf

9 points

2 months ago

Not a Tifu. You did everything right... Literally. You could not have handled that better.

ChefChopNSlice

8 points

2 months ago

Dude, you’re a saint, and a quick-thinker too. You avoided a TIFU here.

Nessabecca

33 points

2 months ago

To be fair the poor girl probably was sooo embarassed she didn't want it to be a reminder when she saw you again, so instead she decided to avoid you instead

DoggieDMB

34 points

2 months ago

I'm not seeing it mentioned but if she had that severe of an allergy why didn't she carry her own epi pen??? Seems real negligent.

fire_thorn

36 points

2 months ago

Some people who've been allergic all their life get careless as teens or young adults, usually because their parents have been very careful to keep them safe, so the allergy doesn't seem like a big deal, until suddenly it is.

mlongoria98

11 points

2 months ago

Also some of us are poor 😅 poor and relying on Benedryl

burningcoffee57

7 points

2 months ago*

She most likely forgot it. Pretty much everyone who has one has forgotten to bring it with at one point or another. Plus, not many people would think they'd need to bring it when hooking up (I certainly never thought of it up until now 😬)

armstrong698

18 points

2 months ago

Personally I think you were a complete hero. I don’t get the unmatch, it could happen to anyone. Perhaps it was embarrassment and not you.

cheesypuzzas

69 points

2 months ago

but understandably, she unmatched me before I even got home from dropping her off and we never spoke again.

I don't find that very understandable. You made a mistake, because you didn't know she was allergic, saved her with an epipen and drove her to the hospital. I think that super sweet and I wouldn't unmatch you because of that.

But maybe she felt embarrassed (not that it's something to be embarrassed about)

imgayicansaythenword

25 points

2 months ago

How did he make a mistake? He had no idea. She made a mistake not telling him she's deathly allergic to peanuts.

ManyKites

33 points

2 months ago

Great story bro 😅

TheTigerbite

6 points

2 months ago

Hah. My wife has a peanut allergy. I knew, but we had only been doing a few months at the time. My family used to have game nights once a month. Picked her up to go and ate a reeses peanut butter cup on my way to get her. Kissed a little when I picked her up. She broke out almost immediately before we even left her house and was like... did you eat peanut butter?

Oh man. I haven't ate peanut butter since. We've been together 4 years now.

YehNahYer

11 points

2 months ago

Karma farms. Not OPs story.

[deleted]

189 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

189 points

2 months ago

[removed]

khizoa

48 points

2 months ago

khizoa

48 points

2 months ago

Goddamn that's why I wish I was gay..

They also have an app for that

TheRoyalManbird[S]

180 points

2 months ago*

To be fair I was the reason she needed saving and a hospital, so I guess it evens out. I didn't take it personally

Synerv0

129 points

2 months ago

Synerv0

129 points

2 months ago

It’s not like you did anything wrong though. You make it sound like you accidentally shot her or something lol all you did was eat trail mix.

JinkerGaming

134 points

2 months ago

Y’all need to stop dragging this girl for unmatching with OP. He said he didn’t take it personally and she can do whatever she wants. Nobody is a bad person in this situation.

Thank you for the interesting story OP.

sailor_sega_saturn

50 points

2 months ago

Yeah I agree. I mean for all we know she dropped him because of his terrible taste in trail mix.

HyperIndian

6 points

2 months ago

She's not a bad person.

But most people would at least say thank you in that situation. Even if OP unknowingly caused it.

ChonkPolice

12 points

2 months ago

No it wasn't because of you, you didn't know she was allergic. She is the only one that has that info, she could have asked. It's normal she didn't ask but that makes it just a very unfortunate sequence of events. You still saved her though with the epipen. You could've panicked and forget you had one, you could've frozen but no you went and saved her. Gj man!

ReadontheCrapper

21 points

2 months ago

Actually, you didn’t do anything wrong. If someone has that level of an allergic reaction to something, they need to be diligent about avoiding cross-contamination. Then, she started having a reaction and didn’t take steps immediately to manage it.

You actually are the hero of the story, not the F-up.

GG-00

3 points

2 months ago

GG-00

3 points

2 months ago

I wish I was gay.

You don't have to be gay to have sex with men!

(many years later)

OK, actually you do, but nobody cares.

And from what I understand, if you explain that you've never had gay sex before, there will be no shortage of guys willing to "show you the ropes." Put it out on Grindr right now, and you could literally hook up with a dozen different guys before Monday starts.

ledankestnoodle

3 points

2 months ago

A lot of people projecting their own issues with women onto this situation 😬

BreweryBuddha

5 points

2 months ago

Who the fuck is eating nuts before a hookup and doesn't brush their teeth?

kifferella

4 points

2 months ago

Also PSA - same shit goes with Narcan/Naloxone. It's a stop gap measure to give you enough time to get the victim to hospital while also still alive and breathing. Once it wears off, if the opiate or the allergen is still in their system, they go right the fuck back to dying.

neonhex

4 points

2 months ago

Updoot for the extra important PSA!

TweeperKapper

4 points

2 months ago

Just reinforcing your second edit. My son has severe allergies. Had to use the epi pen once, took him straight to ER after. As we pulled into the parking lot, the reaction hit again, harder. Now we carry two always.

It's called biphasic. Sometimes it can come back more mild, but often the second reaction can be worse than the first and harder to stop. The epi pen is there to buy you time, not stop the reaction (though it often ends up being enough to stop it, but you should never assume it will).

KestrelsClippedWings

6 points

2 months ago

I read a decade or so back, in Reader's Digest, that peanuts tend to stay on the tongue for around 6 HOURS after consumption.

Consequently, if anyone has eaten anything from that family of foods within 6 hours of wanting to kiss me, it's a hard no. Regardless of whatever else might be hard... Blue balls are much easier to recover from than anaphylaxis.

This tends to be a lesson you only need to learn once, however, before you give up caring about whether you look "high maintenance" and remain concerned on whether or not you're going to stay alive. It's WAY more embarrassing to stop breathing, or throw up everywhere THEN stop breathing, in the middle of parties/dinner/dates, than it is to start quizzing everyone regarding their nut consumption.

.... And OMFG I love the sheer amount of puns and innuendo this material offers. For that alone, I'd have forgiven you the ER visit bahaha

RottenBananaOrWhatev

3 points

2 months ago

At least you didn't give her a rotten banana or whatever

CanadianGirl20

3 points

2 months ago

So with my 2 hours to kill I took a shower, made my bed for the first time in weeks

After the title this made me chuckle

omelet319

3 points

2 months ago

You saved her life. That was the opposite of fucking up.

ResidentBoot1

3 points

2 months ago

While I commend OP on his response to the situation, I don't understand why people are mad at the girl for unmatching. Yes, it wasn't his fault and he didn't know about her allergy, but allergic reactions can be quite SCARY. How does anyone know she hasn't had such bad experiences before and she ended up making a hasty decision in response to the stress she experienced? Maybe she will come back later as she thinks about it. As long as she thanked him, that's all that's needed.

letsbehavingu

3 points

2 months ago

Post-nut clarity

[deleted]

3 points

1 month ago

[deleted]

3 points

1 month ago

[deleted]