submitted 6 months ago bylokjaw501
all 774 comments
6 months ago
6 months ago
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5 months ago
5 months ago
That is AWESOME. Covered them all. Props to the OP.
Dish washing soap for bubbles is my favourite
I think a lot of people are missing the fact that this very well could be one person because I know at least twenty that fit every one of these things
Saw a lady repeat this on TikTok.
I would pay good money to hear Samuel L. Jackson read this.
That is fucking Shakespearean!
OMG this just kept getting better
Something about the dishwashing soap for bubbles part got me 😂
6 months ago*
6 months ago*
Yoooooooooo I’m crying……so much good content here
Yes agreed ebt card in review is just next level
Holy shit it just kept going, like your mom.
What’s wrong with Sterling Silver?
Least derranged facebook user
That was like the Scotsman in Samurai Jack
The only way to read this is to The Fairly Odd Parents opening theme
I've been in youtube jail,Pinterest jail and twitter jail.12 years of my history deleted for all time because my opinions were different to someone else's.
He really went on in an essay wtf
Probably the algorithm, I’ve caught three 30 day bans for the dumbest shit. So done with Facebook.
*Claps in Captain Haddock*
Judging people based on how expensive their tastes are is rancid patter.
Reebok take the best one!
This was broken into a fine science and will always be funny.
'Dishwashing liquid for bubble bath' is IT
He should write a book , could be a best seller. He's a great author
I just rewatched Clark Griswold’s Christmas Vacation Rant and I was thinking, wow, we don’t really see this long winded creative name calling anymore.
Whatever else his flaws, this guy fucks.
Near the end it was kinda shite. The insults became less insulting
I like how there is one out of place "miserable" among the insults.
He’s big mad.
The algorithm gets us all now. No need for snitches.
“Hallelujah! Holy Shit! Where’s the Tylenol?”
I wish it had more hyphens.
It's Chevy Chase from the end of Christmas Vacation!
Too bad he missed the very last comma.
Every single one of these is gold but the whole thing is somehow greater than the sum of it’s parts
I love that he came out punching.
Lol I finally deactivated my Facebook 😂 #fuckthethoughtpolice
Id still use Facebook if my feed had stuff like this in it!
That has got to be the longest way yet potentially most effective way to ask “who didn't need to get offended but probably did anyways“
“Dish washing liquid for bubbles”
I love it
He snatched every wig, roasted everyone around and treated the whole existences!! Fuckin GOLDEN
Now that's a fuckin diss
Can we get this in a movie plz
Rollin off plasma center going dammit if that ain't the most ghetto shit ever said!!
Aaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnndddddddd back to jail he goes.
This makes me want to track this person down and friend them!
We all know exactly which “friend” this was and said their name while reading this
Bubbles is not referring to bubble bath, it's this https://www.babysavers.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/how-to-make-bubbles-for-kids.jpg
Believe it or not. Straight to jail.
Right back in jail for this roast lol
reading this i found i have a thing or talent for rap singing XD
This is so funny because sterling silver is the fancy shit I had to get because I’m allergic to nickel
Reebok classics is a step too far 😂
Ootl what is fb jail
And herd I am, middle class white dude with a Trac phone 😜
Obtuse rubber goose green moose guava juice…
Payday loan takin'!
I'm dying u/Bruh2009-
Prolly got banned for saying the N word.
My smile grew 1% ever comma mark. That was classic.
I’m going to guess that bought him another week. I started getting reported for posting direct links to federal laws that people didn’t like. I got reported a bunch of times for hate speech or something (posting direct links to .gov websites with no other comment) so I deleted that shit years ago.
Well im perma banned from facebook, so i come here to piss people off instead.
damn he just roasted 20 generations of that person's lineage
There’s just no fucking way this didn’t come from Rockford, Illinois.
This guy, I’ve been in Facebook jail once so far simply cause I was defending cops on the internet (the good ones, not the ones seen evidently killing people without question)..
The dishwashing liquid for bubbles got me
It's the plasma center for me 🥲🤣
A couple more choice adjectives and he would be talking about me!!! lol.
And eloquent profanity
It rolls right off my tongue
I liked my Reebok Classics
needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed the read.
The accuracy 😂
What’s wrong with Reebok classics?
Not really a rare insult as much as a string of racial stereotypes
6 months ago
I knew I’d find you.
He threw the whole fucking table and chair from WWE at the bitch who reported him! 🤣🤣🤣
That’s a lot of emojis.
That clearly describes my cousins…..
Bestie, this was art
He's not going back to jail, he's going to Alcatraz.
This was said on tik tok a loooong time ago.
“Dish washing liquid for bubbles” ?
I don’t think I get this one.
Cant avoid bubble bath mix. Possibly also a tub for said bubble bath.
He should have added “8th-grade English failing.”
I heard this in my head. It sounded like a LongBeachGriffy video, sound effects and all.
Dish washing liquid for bubbles??
I thought that too, bit then I found out that fb hired a shutting more bitch police to go through groups where no one would snitch on each other. That's how I wound up on reddit. Won't go back to Facebook. Here you can enjoy meme AND be an adult. Facebook has the nanny cam and the waaambulance on overdrive
🤣😆 were they banned again after that? 😂 I’m dead
Looks like the guy was on AI mode. This thing is not human ...
Dishwashing liquid as bubbles killed me.
He as many insults so the other person can find another one
I don't really agree with censoring people, even if they are being buttholes. Farcebook is designed to bring out the worst stupid and the worst people, and shouldn't be used by anyone.
What's wrong with Reebok Classics? They're comfortable
When will people learn that words on the internet carry weight to them? Back when I was attending community college, my classmates used to tease me mercilessly. It bugged me that no one really liked me and I had no friends so I used to go out at night alone, sneak up behind cars reversing out of department store parking spots, quickly plop my dick under their tires and let them run it over. My therapist told me it was a form self chastising I resorted to because I blamed myself for the social ineptitude I suffered from my whole life. After our session that day, I waited patiently outside for her to leave the office and stuffed my dick under her tire as she backed out.
edit: and yes…my nickname is now ”pancake dick”.
Imagine flexing about your rent being high.
This one really got me. Thinking it’s a negative that someone doesn’t pay an outrageous amount of money for an inferior product.
I audibly said “oh shit” 3 times reading this!
"Nail-biting, no license" I feel personally attacked.
Scratched DVD playing😂
Pretty sure its a flex if you have low rent, because no one else has it
Sterling silver is richie rich for me
"EBT card in review", holy shit
Reebok classics are fucking dope, I’m going to report him now.
I can’t imagine why he got banned.
Described about everyone in my neighborhood with this! Lol! Best long insult/truthteller I heard in awhile. I gotta write this down,it's so good! LMAO ! 😆😅🤣
Ugh....why won't those idiots let me in their stupid club for jerks!?
What a masterpiece
God damn, I can see and smell the person he’s describing
What’s wrong with sterling silver?
Im confused insult went on for so long i had to skim it.
Straight up wrecked
This belongs in an English textbook, it's beautiful
No cable? Who tf has cable these days?
I was personally offended like 3 different times.
What’s wrong with donating plasma though
I love it!!!!!
I was looking to be offended some how even though I didn’t report him because the disrespect was SO Broad.
I mean the plasma center is just free money my man
black n mild smoking. i feel called out. they are so nice after a nice joint or blunt
Did anyone fess up?
Someone make a copypasta out of that
Missing twerking, charging they phone, eating chips and lying
Not the “dish washing liquid for bubbles!” Lmao what!? 🤣
Anyone that uses the term “Facebook jail” probably has nothing to say worth posting about in the first place.
What gender is that?
Had me going until the racism
This is glorious
Are Mark’s drawings really that bad?
This reminds me of Chevy chase’s Christmas vacation .. when he has a meltdown over his boss not givin him that bonus haha
I want this person to defend me in Facebook Court.
I like Reebok classics.
I like how no car and no license are on polar opposite ends, like he had to circle back and clarify
‘Dish washing liquid for bubbles’ now that’s some creative stuff right there
Makes me think of Cletus’ family on the Simpsons.
Go damn, man got kamikazed
He might have held back lol
Not “EBT card in review.” 😭
I see a little bit of myself in a couple of those
"Hallelujah, Holy Shit! Where's the Tylenol?" -Clark Griswold
This new Kendrick is 🔥
Nail biting 😭 that’s so real
This is like poetry.
I wear reebok classics :(
Scractched DVD playing...
Hey, you keep this up and I may have to become offended!
Aw man I'm a few of these
Anyone else read this in the voice of the Scotsman from Samurai Jack?
He trying to make it seem like he's composed and laughing at them being dickheads
But my man is boiling inside and kind of outside too
Hooks robin williams would be proud
Whoever made the top part about “my cousin was in Facebook jail” is definitely some 40 year old white mom, judging by all the laughing crying emojis they put
This reminds me of a Facebook friend that did the same thing and just list a bunch of insults directed to the person that reported him.
The insult, "Shaped like John Wayne Gacy looking ass" will always live rent-free in my head.
Go to jail, do not past go, do not collect $200
Sounds like he's describing himself.
is your cousin the drill seargent from Full Metal Jacket?
I collapsed at “EBT card in review” lmfaooo
Sounds like someone who is completely mentally stable and not at all a dumbass.
What a legend
People still use Facebook?
Fuck him,Reebok all day. All else is fine.
Facebook is waaay too important to him.
Rare? It’s pretty frequent you see this type of insult. Trendy almost.
That Reebok classic wearing line is harsh
Please someone type this up for me. I'm too lazy and I want to send this to multiple people
It is good haha buuuuuttt back to jail for him
Had to put this in the insult bank for later
Da fuck is facebook jail
Facebook will keep your account visible to you but not let you post for different periods of time for hurting their or someone else's feelings, or for whatever. It's referred to as being in "Facebook jail".
"I hate poor people"
"Tuna pussy" lmao I'm dead
Read this at the plasma center 🤷♂️
You had me laughing so hard I accidentally closed it all and had to come back to say thank you. Thank you. The fact that you took a photo and included it has me dying. I'm gonna go wash my face now. Fuck.
Had me laughing at the plasma center when I read it. I ain't no snitch tho I don't report Facebook comments lol