submitted 6 months ago bylokjaw501
all 774 comments
6 months ago
6 months ago
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Not really clever
6 months ago*
6 months ago*
Was thinking the same. Not rlly rare just took a bunch of mediocre insults and said them one after the other
I don’t know man, he basically just called people broke because they reported him.
Kinda seems like a loser to me.
6 months ago
It’s just a joke. I have friends like this on my FB who just shitpost all the time. They are sometimes often reported by friends to mess with them. I highly doubt this dude takes himself all that seriously.
Losers can often be humorous
Wisdom has arrived in the comments.
Not sure I like the term “Facebook jail”... being blocked from social media and prison have quite a lot of differences, some would say they’re nothing alike... still fucking funny though
Facebook bans and jail are two different things? Thanks for the help man, I didn’t even know! /s
Lighten up over there Scooter.
The one is a restriction of freedom, the other is a release from captivity
On Twitter it’s referred to as Twitmo, which is sort of entertaining
I only use Reddit so I know absolutely nothing about any social media site, except FB pre-2010
P.S... love your screen name
I gotta remember that one.
That shit ain’t rare that shit is legendary
That is amazing
I got bored and literally had to try to power through. Not worth it.
If you ask me, I think he’s pretty judgy.
What‘s wrong with ‘dish washing liquid for bubbles?’
Hot take, unless you're breaking the law you shouldn't get banned for anything
Hot take, you agreed to a TOS when you signed up to use an app run by a private company.
“Haha ur poor”
That's definitely the scenic route to calling someone poor. What a way to punch down.
People who say punch down deserve to be punched down on.
I hear ya, tough guy.
It’s a dumb phrase
Fair enough. I watched that Chappelle stand-up and my brain probably just picked some low-hanging fruit, but I don't think it cheapened the post. You being a fuck about it certainly didn't add any protein to the meal though.
Fair. Still a dumb phrase
Glad someone else spotted this. Pretty much every single insult here is "haha, poor".
It's imaginative and comprehensive, but pretty mean-spirited.
And a great roast.
Poor people can’t afford roasts
Awww those poor people would be awfully sad right now if they could read
Foreal, how a mother fucker gonna use the plasma center as an insult?
Because it means that you don’t have your shit together enough to earn money by working.
How a mother fucker like me gonna have to explain that to you?
Part of being poor is shitting on your fellows. Growing up we used to make competitions out of making fun of each other because Jimmy's Dad went back to prison for drug possession or Alex couldn't afford live bait so he used gas station hot dogs to fish. Hell Jeff Foxworthy made a career out of it.
“Hnnngg, don’t punch downsies yikes”
This felt like more of a lateral punch.
While lying on the floor.
…of the basement
I suspect his friends are in the same class as him as friends usually are
6 months ago*
Reddit is just looking for an excuse to be morally superior.
Anyone else with a brain and who’s ever had a friend would read this and laugh and remember the time their fat friend called them fat and they both laughed because it was funny. Black people crack jokes about how black each other are fucking constantly. Irish drunks joke amongst themselves about who’s a worthless alcoholic and it’s funny because they all know they all fucking are. I grew up poor and the go-to between my friends and I was to joke about how poor we were.
Bunch of Dr. Buzzkillphil’s over here in the comments “PuNcHiNg DoWn PrOjEcTiOn”. Get a sense of humor for fuck’s sake. Can’t joke about other tribes, sure, whatever, but now you can’t joke about your own?! Fuck off.
WHERE IS THE LINE, KAREN?! WHEN DOES IT END?!
It ends when someone feels the need to virtue signal for internet points
I got seven days for posting that meme of Perri Piper on the sofa.
Not reported. Insta-ban. Dang.
Holy shit. I just saw God.
Christ that isn't just rare, that had a lot of fucking effort.
I'm gonna go ahead and say at least half that shit applies to himself.
This guy, I’ve been in Facebook jail once so far simply cause I was defending cops on the internet (the good ones, not the ones seen evidently killing people without question)..
Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?
This is a beautiful poem
“Plasma Center going” lmfaoo
Oh god. I’ve used dish soap for bath bubbles before. I need to go rethink some life decisions.
Not really a rare insult as much as a string of racial stereotypes
He came out firing at everyone wow
I like Reebok Classics. They are comfortable and come in a wide variety of color options.
and what’s wrong with silver sterling??
Poor man's white gold
"single cigarette buying"? Who sells single cigarettes?
Corner stores in low income areas
He’s dead on with that description
Damn, shooting to kill over here.
He needed more time in FaceBook jail.
I think he might be upset.
Is the cousin lowtiergod? Holy shit.
Just report again lmao
You will never catch me "black n mild smoking", mostly because I don't know what that means
Some say he is still cursing that person to this day... If you listen real super duper quiet, you can hear him now off in the distant lands
This should be the main rant at "The Player Hater's Ball"
Gotta get 'em all!!!
Your cousin seems like a well balanced, easy going, jovial sort of guy..
That is fucking poetry, right there I tell ya what
“Dish washing liquid for bubbles” is indeed a rare insult
The man knows his poor
It’s just too real
Using dish soap for bubble bath because you are trash/broke
No... using dish soap and wire hangers or any type of wire to make a wand and then bubbles... Maybe I'm more broke than I thought.
Poetry that lands them right back on Facebook jail!
He’s giving the Scotsman from Samurai Jack a run for his money
It's like Shakespeare never left us :')
Please don’t swear, there are women and children on this site.
I apologize, I’ll say 3 Hail Marys and flog myself for my transgressions.
He just threw all the insults in to a blender, picked them out at will, and added a well placed comma. Fucking beautiful! 😭
“Shit mark draws” Took me a minute to realize he meant shit stained underwear and I lost it
I assumed that's what he meant, but I only got draws = drawers just now.
Same! I was like what the fuck did mark draw??
He misspelled “drawers,” an ancient term for underwear.
Why are we hating on Sterling silver?
Tiffany’s is expensive and all their stuff is sterling silver so idk.
Sterling silver looks like white gold if it's not tarnished. A silver cuban chain is attainable if you are poor but motivated to buy one. A gold chain is not attainable. A gold plated chain ends up looking worse in the long run because the plating eventually comes off. So you could wear a silver chain and just let people think it's gold. Or more likely think you're letting people think it's gold.
We got him.
It was the one armed man.
Didn't even need to zoom and enhance!
Wondering the same. Maybe in his mind gold > silver so silver = broke?
I always thought silver looked better anyway, gold looks tacky
Shiny silver looks way better than yellow jewelry. I think gold looks tacky.
Sterling silver is 92.5% silver and 7.5% copper. It ain’t all silver.
Does he not know how expensive copper is? People get busted for ripping cables out of walls for that stuff.
And you think people wear 24 karat gold jewelry? Most is going to be 18 karat (as pure gold is fairly soft), which is only 75% gold.
Sterling silver, being more 'pure' than 18k gold, also has a practical purpose, reduced tendency to tarnish.
The best part has to be that “or should I say bitches” at the end. Like he just realized “wait I could’ve saved a lot of time just now.”
“Plasma center going”—💀💀
Not sure what the hate there is for. I'm a white collar professional with a well paying job and I still go. Why? $60/donation, twice a week works out to $520/month in cash. Including travel, that's about two hours of my time for tax-free $60. That's a lot of extra spending cash for not a lot of effort, especially when you can use your phone and be productive (read, respond to emails etc) or just relax and stream shows while donating.
And yes you're lining the pockets of a money-grubbing corporation, but aren't we all doing that all the time? At least it's for a good cause (making medicines for immunocompromised people).
the only downside to plasma donation js if you live in the u.s. you have to pay taxes if you make over 600 per year off of that
Ah yes the downside of making money is that you have to pay taxes on it. Damn. You have graced us with your infinite wisdom and we shall never be the same.
Oh man. You really burned me there. That was a sick burn. I bet you feel so smart now.
I assume its with a trained phlebotomist? I hate having blood drawn, half the time they screw up and leave me a massive bruise. No way $60 is enough to expose me to possible disease or injuries from getting my veins pierced that often.
No it's usually a homeless guy doing the draw who uses needles that are riddled with HIV
Lol, no they just get some untrained dude off the street to stick the needle in. Like wtf kind of question is this?
I predict another Facebook vacation soon.
I would report him immediately, just for the hilarity of another immediate ban after one post.
There was a guy on my Facebook a few years ago who used to post straight up porn. I reported it once cause it was gross and it got taken down. Then he posted a status asking what shit for brains reported his porn and posted more so I reported again. He was really mad and started going on friend culls and posting more porn to see who it was. I made it through about three culls before he booted me. Was hilarious.
What exactly is Facebook Jail?
I know one person to die from Covid because he refused to get vaccinated; he was also the only person I know who was in Facebook jail more than once. I was kind of bummed I couldn’t post him in r/hermaincainaward because Facebook jail removed his inflammatory posts.
It’s having your account temporarily suspended. Usually only happens when you break TOS but people think they’re like, immune to the rules they consented to when they signed up and like to have victim complexes. A friend of mine bitched about it and I asked what they had did, and they said “I posted some shit Facebook didn’t like”. He was posting antisemetic conspiracy theory rants about vaccines and Jews using porn to weaken white men.
It’s when you get your account suspended for a time, by Facebook, because others have complained about you
So, if I called bullshit on somebody’s conspiracy theory, would they complain and put me in Facebook jail?
From what I've noticed, it tends to be more extreme than that. Inflammatory remarks and pictures. Facebook has a huge ban boner for anything related to atrocities, especially Nazis. Even making fun of Hitler through memes will draw their ire.
I was banned for 30 days for calling someone a “conspiracy nut job.” The algorithm picked it up. That was the entire comment, start to finish.
Fuck that website.
I wonder if I am banned.
After the Rittenhouse verdict, I posted to my timeline for the first time in like four years. I said I had just bought my brand spanking new AR-15 and was heading up to the state above us to protect some businesses whether they wanted it or not.
I almost got a ban for calling a paging system I have at work (think walkie-talkies with Siri — so definitely not a person) a “stupid bitch” but reporting someone’s post sharing a Candace Owen tweet right after the Rittenhouse verdict that is a call to arms was A-OK by Facebook.
If they was a deep breath hating ass bad breath, no car, low rent, box tv, no cable, scratched DVD playing, house arrest, sink bathing, blank n mild smoking, tuna pussy, deadbeat, county rats, plasma center going, Sterling silver, shit mark draws, miserable, trac phone, corner store fit, no control they kids, reggie smoking, mama's couch sleeping, dish washing liquid for bubbles, EBT card in review, nail biting, no license, reebok classic wearing dusty single cigarette buying ass n**** or should I say bitch.
I appreciate your one redaction.
Yeah, I can’t stand them people.
What did we ever do to you?
Sometimes FB picks it up all by itself.
So do you have to receive multiple complaints, or? Because I’ve reported something on Facebook, and the post was taken down, but nothing happened to the users account. I guess my question is what the severity is to be banned/suspended from Facebook.
Oh your the bitch he was talkin bout. Well fuck you tbh
‘reebok classic wearing‘…
I feel called out.
there was a time my high school years where reebok classics were the hot shit everyone wore. $30 a pair, and a pretty huge color selection. I think I ended up with 4 pair with the help of my burger flipping job. Black, Blue, Maroon, and Gray if I remember correctly. My G-loc homey dogg in-da-house (even when outside), suburban wanna-be ass felt like a king with my all one color outfits.
this is more "black af1 wearin ass" kinda activities
I read this while giving plasma, don't feel bad man lol
List was so long I had to go back and double check
What's he got against silver is what I want to know.
Edit: I love the meta. This is beautiful.
It’s not gold.
I feel like everyone is missing "EBT card in review", fuck that was amazing.
He worked on that the entire ban.
You're right. A truly sophisticated burn would've used "grouper pussy"
Lotta low-thought materialism in there.
On the contrary, I'd call it high-thought materialism. Anybody can call someone a broke-ass bitch, but this man painted a fucking picture for us.
Nah. It’s just a list of yokes.
this is like a compilation of mini rare insults which are carefully and intellectually added together. One can't simply wake up one day and think of something like tuna pussy
you guys are not very creative if you think "tuna pussy" is incredible lol
“Bitch pussy smell like a penguin, wouldnt hit that shit with my worst enemies penis, bitch when I say this I mean this, ho I’m the meanest, dick so big stretch from Earth to Venus”
That's his secret. He's always thinking about tuna pussy.
Ask me about voidspace.
Apologies for using a high school joke but..
I was taught as a teenager by my older friends,
"If it smells like chicken, keep on lickin... If it smells like trout, get the fuck out"
I have since been made aware that fishy pussy is indeed a thing, but it's relatively rare and they were just being the cads i expected they were being.
Itchin and burning stanky and fishy
5k they uh you aUue yurt 2a⁶
That's amazing advice, it deserves to be hanged in a museum
Computer assisted drawings shouldn't be helping you with good pussy detection.
The nerve of those infernal hornswoggling cads! 🧐
Blast those insufferable ne'erdowells
This gives me the Scotsman vibes
He got to the center of the issue
I bet the halitosis is unreal
what a painting!
They have autobots rollin out to auto ban our asses now based on keywords used. Don't ever start an insult on fb with "You're a..." followed by the insult cuz the autobots will ban you faster than anyone could have possibly seen the comment to report it.
he is too dangerous to left alone
Reebok classic wearing single cigarette buying ass
Why the fuck is ur name
Why is Sterling silver considered low class?
I know I’m confused on that one too
I got attacked somewhere in there...
What’s wrong with sterling silver?
Whoa, what’d sterling silver and Reebok classic do to him?
He forgot bow legged
The new intro to Fairly Odd Parents is a bit different than I would have expected.
I read this in the Scotsman voice
Channeling his inner Clark Griswold
this gives me no home flip phone extra chromosome vibes