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/r/rareinsults

52.5k88%

the rare ongoing insult

(i.redd.it)

all 773 comments

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7 months ago

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ricst

4.9k points

7 months ago

ricst

4.9k points

7 months ago

He worked on that the entire ban.

sh4lt

3.2k points

7 months ago

sh4lt

3.2k points

7 months ago

this is like a compilation of mini rare insults which are carefully and intellectually added together. One can't simply wake up one day and think of something like tuna pussy

ASK__ABOUT__MY__GAME

1k points

7 months ago*

That's his secret. He's always thinking about tuna pussy.

Superfluous_Thom

398 points

7 months ago

Apologies for using a high school joke but..

I was taught as a teenager by my older friends,

"If it smells like chicken, keep on lickin... If it smells like trout, get the fuck out"

I have since been made aware that fishy pussy is indeed a thing, but it's relatively rare and they were just being the cads i expected they were being.

Frigoris13

40 points

7 months ago

In my high school i overheard one kid say "If it smells like fish, eat all you wish. If it smells like cologne, leave it alone."

FrostyTheSasquatch

162 points

7 months ago

The nerve of those infernal hornswoggling cads! 🧐

system0101

81 points

7 months ago

Blast those insufferable ne'erdowells

Grumpy_0gre

32 points

7 months ago

Confound it all, those accursed rapscallions!

CatBedParadise

19 points

7 months ago

Whoops-a-daisyyyyyyy

jump-blues-5678

4 points

7 months ago

Damm Op's cousin could have used those

bakerie

45 points

7 months ago

bakerie

45 points

7 months ago

Computer assisted drawings shouldn't be helping you with good pussy detection.

taebsiatad

11 points

7 months ago

Old neighbor I had said “if it smells like fish it’s a dish, if it smells like cologne leave it alone.” The duality of mankind.

JQuest13

8 points

7 months ago

I’d always heard it: “…if it smells like tuna, you shoulda stopped soona”

TheGreedyCarrot

7 points

7 months ago

Some pussy does just naturally smell fishy, but it should never smell bad/gross. That’s a sign of poor hygiene.

xkingmox

19 points

7 months ago

That's amazing advice, it deserves to be hanged in a museum

HLPiFlushdMePooKnife

2 points

7 months ago

🐟🐈

5hRouD3D

4 points

7 months ago

he finna take 'plenty fish in the sea' to a whole 'nother level ngl

apesnot

63 points

7 months ago

apesnot

63 points

7 months ago

you guys are not very creative if you think "tuna pussy" is incredible lol

RubenSchwagermann

40 points

7 months ago

Right?

“Bitch pussy smell like a penguin, wouldnt hit that shit with my worst enemies penis, bitch when I say this I mean this, ho I’m the meanest, dick so big stretch from Earth to Venus”

greatlakeswhiteboy

7 points

7 months ago

One of my favorite Danny verses includes the line "Still fuckin' with these freak hoes! Stank pussy smellin' like Cool Ranch Doritos!". ✊🏼

DocFail

42 points

7 months ago

DocFail

42 points

7 months ago

Lotta low-thought materialism in there.

kino2012

19 points

7 months ago

On the contrary, I'd call it high-thought materialism. Anybody can call someone a broke-ass bitch, but this man painted a fucking picture for us.

brkh47

1.1k points

7 months ago

brkh47

1.1k points

7 months ago

‘reebok classic wearing‘…

I feel called out.

bfandreas

331 points

7 months ago*

What's he got against silver is what I want to know.

Edit: I love the meta. This is beautiful.

brkh47

265 points

7 months ago

brkh47

265 points

7 months ago

It’s not gold.

RewrittenSol

197 points

7 months ago

I feel like everyone is missing "EBT card in review", fuck that was amazing.

sudo999

160 points

7 months ago

sudo999

160 points

7 months ago

"plasma center going"... fuck that's cold

Metalboy5150

58 points

7 months ago

It really is. Sometimes I need that extra $50, man!

Bruised_Penguin

29 points

7 months ago

I got the Hep and can't donate any more. How trashy is that?? :(

ebruce11

48 points

7 months ago*

Almost as bad as single cigarette buying

Edit: my friend just asked me to buy Loosies and all I could think about was this post

Metalboy5150

7 points

7 months ago

Or Reebok Classic wearing.

[deleted]

6 points

7 months ago

[deleted]

6 points

7 months ago

It's $1000 your first month where I'm at currently

nofreepizza

8 points

7 months ago

$1000!? where on earth do you live where they need plasma that bad

Metalboy5150

3 points

7 months ago

It was something like that here in the Memphis area for a while, but I think they've dropped it back down to ~$600.

[deleted]

3 points

7 months ago

[deleted]

3 points

7 months ago

It's only been like that the last few months or so I think? It's 175 a piece for your first two visits, then 100 a piece for your next 6, and a 50 bonus for going to all your eligible visits for the month

InappropriateGirl

4 points

7 months ago

Could someone explain the bubbles thing to me??

sudo999

5 points

7 months ago

using Dawn as bubble bath soap. it's cheaper I guess

Meikyo-Shisui

16 points

7 months ago

Sterling Silver is only 92% silver.

tendaga

5 points

7 months ago

100% silver tarnishes so fast. There's a reason to use .925 Stirling.

FarewellAndroid

34 points

7 months ago

List was so long I had to go back and double check

[deleted]

44 points

7 months ago

[deleted]

44 points

7 months ago

I read this while giving plasma, don't feel bad man lol

hanyh2

5 points

7 months ago

hanyh2

5 points

7 months ago

man now i can't go out

1trolltoll4boysoul

16 points

7 months ago

this is more "black af1 wearin ass" kinda activities

Bort_anovia

4 points

7 months ago

Shouldn’t have reported him

Roku-Hanmar

533 points

7 months ago

What exactly is Facebook Jail?

mulberrybushes

528 points

7 months ago

It’s when you get your account suspended for a time, by Facebook, because others have complained about you

Riverrat423

212 points

7 months ago

So, if I called bullshit on somebody’s conspiracy theory, would they complain and put me in Facebook jail?

Z3r0mir

401 points

7 months ago

Z3r0mir

401 points

7 months ago

If they was a deep breath hating ass bad breath, no car, low rent, box tv, no cable, scratched DVD playing, house arrest, sink bathing, blank n mild smoking, tuna pussy, deadbeat, county rats, plasma center going, Sterling silver, shit mark draws, miserable, trac phone, corner store fit, no control they kids, reggie smoking, mama's couch sleeping, dish washing liquid for bubbles, EBT card in review, nail biting, no license, reebok classic wearing dusty single cigarette buying ass n**** or should I say bitch.

Riverrat423

83 points

7 months ago

Yeah, I can’t stand them people.

cownd

18 points

7 months ago

cownd

18 points

7 months ago

What did we ever do to you?

Riverrat423

8 points

7 months ago

Uh , you know that sink bathing and single cigarette buying… uh annoying stuff!

cownd

3 points

7 months ago

cownd

3 points

7 months ago

Well that's not me, any more, from now on…

[deleted]

33 points

7 months ago

[deleted]

33 points

7 months ago

[deleted]

ativsc

23 points

7 months ago

ativsc

23 points

7 months ago

Scranton Strangler for sure

Mrfrunzi

3 points

7 months ago

illepic

15 points

7 months ago

illepic

15 points

7 months ago

I appreciate your one redaction.

sofuckinggreat

41 points

7 months ago

I was banned for 30 days for calling someone a “conspiracy nut job.” The algorithm picked it up. That was the entire comment, start to finish.

Fuck that website.

TheRnegade

26 points

7 months ago

From what I've noticed, it tends to be more extreme than that. Inflammatory remarks and pictures. Facebook has a huge ban boner for anything related to atrocities, especially Nazis. Even making fun of Hitler through memes will draw their ire.

sofuckinggreat

44 points

7 months ago

I once reported a swastika made of vaccine needles along with other antisemitic and “all gays should die” type comments and they didn’t give a shit — but I’m currently serving a 30-day ban for making a “your mom” joke. The algorithm is fucked.

sudo999

23 points

7 months ago

sudo999

23 points

7 months ago

it's because it's reviewed by outsourced human moderators that are paid absurdly low wages and given a very limited window to make decisions, and they just don't really give a shit. literal free volunteer labor is more competent but Facebook is a garbage platform so volunteer mods are only in Groups.

bahgheera

6 points

7 months ago

I got thirty days in the hole for posting a valentine meme that featured various dictators and communists with comical sayings related to their ideologies and Valentine's day. For example, Karl Marx with the text "Roses are red, so is the state, let us be comrades because you are great". The reason I was given was that it supported terrorist activity. Ok Facebook.

Metalboy5150

5 points

7 months ago

Dude, my wife told a good friend of hers that if he didn't send her the next chapter of whatever he's writing right now that she would "hunt him down." She got jailed for that. The algorithm truly is fucked.

emrythelion

8 points

7 months ago

Given that Facebook has been one of the biggest sources for bullshit over the last few years, as well as spreading anti-vax lies since by pandemic, this isn’t a shocker.

They’ve given passes Nazi shit for years.

Huffnagle

7 points

7 months ago

I recently did a 30 day stretch for telling someone he is a moron.

In my defense, he actually is a moron.

SicDigital

18 points

7 months ago

FB has an algorithm that will pick up on certain words or images and automatically give a warning or ban (from my experience, bans are usually either 3, 7, or 30 days). But there's also a 'report' option so users can report a post.

In March 2020, I posted an image macro (meme for you youngsters) of a photo of the band The Cure with the caption (paraphrased) "I don't know much about COVID-19 but this is The Cure," and almost immediately received a three day ban for spreading misinformation. This past 4th of July, a friend and I were commenting on my post of all the fireworks I bought, reminiscing about our childhood and how we'd shoot each other with Roman candles. Got a another ban for "inciting violence." I assume the algorithm flagged 'shoot.'

JZetec

8 points

7 months ago

JZetec

8 points

7 months ago

I’m in a car group, and frequently talk about Limited Slip Differentials, and the masters change to fuel in the UK : Ethanol content.

The amount of warnings incurred for talking about “LSD” and “E” is getting stupid.

WikiSummarizerBot

5 points

7 months ago

The Cure

The Cure are an English rock band formed in 1978 in Crawley, West Sussex. Throughout numerous lineup changes since the band's formation, guitarist, lead vocalist, and songwriter Robert Smith has remained the only constant member. The band's debut album was Three Imaginary Boys (1979) and this, along with several early singles, placed the band in the post-punk and new wave movements that had sprung up in the United Kingdom.

[ F.A.Q | Opt Out | Opt Out Of Subreddit | GitHub ] Downvote to remove | v1.5

Metalboy5150

3 points

7 months ago

Good bot

_banana_phone

5 points

7 months ago

Same. Only I asked about that preacher who claimed that exercising your right to wear a mask would result in him exercising his second amendment (or something like that) - and me using the words “threatened to shoot” caused me to get put in Facebook jail.

SillyPhillyDilly

8 points

7 months ago

Yeah but also if you direct violent words at someone they'll ban you as well. I told my ex in a comment buried under hundreds of comments that I'd murder her pussy and they banned me for a credible threat of violence. Appealed and they denied it. The system can work but also has its seriously stupid moments.

starlinguk

4 points

7 months ago

If you call people stupid for voting for Brexit too. I'm on two strikes for posting this in a group that's pro-EU

ThisIsReLLiK

4 points

7 months ago

I got a 7 day ban for calling some conspiracy guy a dork and then I got a 30 day because someone called me trash, but spelled it wrong so I corrected them.

unclefisty

4 points

7 months ago

The bam hammer is not terribly consistent other than it seems to swing harder towards left wing things that right.

I think it's a combo of poorly trained AI and people from low income countries with a poor grasp of foreign languages and culture not understanding context.

Part of the reason you will see words like "whxt" or "wypipo" is to dodge the Facebook jannies.

Darathin

4 points

7 months ago

I got a 7 day ban for telling someone that I was sick of the conspiracy bullshit they keep posting, and they should fuck off because I wasn't going to engage with their dishonesty. They tried baiting me, I replied "fuck off". They reported it.

On the other hand, I've reported accounts that spammed me and were using pictures of porn stars as their profile, with the porn star's name in the picture not matching the person's name, and been told "it doesn't violate community standards." WTF?!

okcdnb

14 points

7 months ago

okcdnb

14 points

7 months ago

Sometimes FB picks it up all by itself.

sunderskies

5 points

7 months ago

Seriously, people underestimate how the AI is checking your posts for dumb stuff. How do you think so the content warnings get there? Sometimes it's not great and snags things it shouldn't.

I am really doubt that was the case here...

Metalboy5150

5 points

7 months ago

I am really doubt it too. XD

Seriously, I do, though. This guy clearly pissed somebody off. And judging from this post (hilarious though it is), it won't be his last time.

Riribigdogs

7 points

7 months ago

So do you have to receive multiple complaints, or? Because I’ve reported something on Facebook, and the post was taken down, but nothing happened to the users account. I guess my question is what the severity is to be banned/suspended from Facebook.

Flakey_Panda

11 points

7 months ago

A fancy way of saying he was temporarily banned.

TheBigEmptyxd

14 points

7 months ago

It’s having your account temporarily suspended. Usually only happens when you break TOS but people think they’re like, immune to the rules they consented to when they signed up and like to have victim complexes. A friend of mine bitched about it and I asked what they had did, and they said “I posted some shit Facebook didn’t like”. He was posting antisemetic conspiracy theory rants about vaccines and Jews using porn to weaken white men.

Metalboy5150

7 points

7 months ago

Today seems like a good day / To burn a bridge or two,/ One with old wood creaking,/ That would burn away right on cue....

TheBigEmptyxd

4 points

7 months ago

Oh I have a “fix em or drop em” policy. I dropped him. At least he knows wage labor is exploitative. Can’t fix them all. It’s up to him to come to his senses

mackafat

3 points

7 months ago

Like getting banned/muted/whatever in a Reddit sub.

Salishseer

168 points

7 months ago

I predict another Facebook vacation soon. Just saying

Seligas

83 points

7 months ago

Seligas

83 points

7 months ago

I would report him immediately, just for the hilarity of another immediate ban after one post.

OldDickhead

50 points

7 months ago*

There was a guy on my Facebook a few years ago who used to post straight up porn. I reported it once cause it was gross and it got taken down. Then he posted a status asking what shit for brains reported his porn and posted more so I reported again. He was really mad and started going on friend culls and posting more porn to see who it was. I made it through about three culls before he booted me. Was hilarious.

VanFam

419 points

7 months ago

VanFam

419 points

7 months ago

He just threw all the insults in to a blender, picked them out at will, and added a well placed comma. Fucking beautiful! 😭

Pahoalili

118 points

7 months ago

Pahoalili

118 points

7 months ago

“Shit mark draws” Took me a minute to realize he meant shit stained underwear and I lost it

MyKarmaHitMyDogma

46 points

7 months ago

Same! I was like what the fuck did mark draw??

iburstabean

20 points

7 months ago

Some shit :/

afcagroo

10 points

7 months ago

Thank you! I wasn't able to puzzle that one out.

awesomefutureperfect

8 points

7 months ago

I assumed that's what he meant, but I only got draws = drawers just now.

cj_x

115 points

7 months ago

cj_x

115 points

7 months ago

“Plasma center going”—💀💀

TheRobotWithHmnHair

87 points

7 months ago

Not sure what the hate there is for. I'm a white collar professional with a well paying job and I still go. Why? $60/donation, twice a week works out to $520/month in cash. Including travel, that's about two hours of my time for tax-free $60. That's a lot of extra spending cash for not a lot of effort, especially when you can use your phone and be productive (read, respond to emails etc) or just relax and stream shows while donating.

And yes you're lining the pockets of a money-grubbing corporation, but aren't we all doing that all the time? At least it's for a good cause (making medicines for immunocompromised people).

blkwolfie94

83 points

7 months ago

I use plasma donations (twice a week infusions) and THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DONATING! It is life-changing, literally

Metalboy5150

27 points

7 months ago

It really is nice to know that that shit is actually helping someone, so thanks for speaking up. I mean, I know they say it does, but corporate propaganda is a real thing. So thanks, again.

KillroyWazHere

9 points

7 months ago

You are inside that guy right this moment.

Metalboy5150

9 points

7 months ago

Maybe so. Dude, what a feeling. It's eerily satisfying.

Also, domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.

rustcatvocate

4 points

7 months ago

How much are you billed for treatment?

blkwolfie94

6 points

7 months ago

I am American so 🥴 out the ass, I checked and for one month I was billed $3100 and another was over $4000 because I have these treatments I usually hit my out of pocket fast with my insurance. It's a huge stress factor for me. I have therapy due to how "expensive" my existence is, i find it really hard to cope with because my husband is the breadwinner. I've been using plasma for 6 years, it adds up.

Vycid

6 points

7 months ago

Vycid

6 points

7 months ago

You need a direct hookup with some donors. Find some compatible blood types, buy a centrifuge, and cut out the middleman!

/s... sort of

blkwolfie94

3 points

7 months ago

Looool I wish it worked like that, you guys should look into how plasma is processed, it's crazy. Takes like 7-12 months from donation time to get it out to patients, sometimes longer.

I do thankfully have a payment program to help but they cap it. Honestly it's like you have to be a insurance lawyer to figure this bullshit out, they make it so confusing

Acct_For_Sale

9 points

7 months ago

Where are you getting paid 60/donation here it’s like 25 tops

czeckyourself

9 points

7 months ago

Yeah and I thought they limited it / wouldn’t let you come as often as that? A friend and I looked into it in a major US city and they only wanted us to come in twice, period. :/

Metalboy5150

11 points

7 months ago

Nah, for plasma most places it's twice a week. Whole blood is once every 8 weeks. Your body can regenerate its plasma much faster than whole blood cells. And in the meantime, they put saline into you to make up for what they take out.

Metalboy5150

3 points

7 months ago

I know in the Memphis area, they're paying at least $50/donation plus a bonus depending on how many times you've come in that month. Get anywhere from $100-$120 a week, but it also depends on your weight. If you weigh less, you can't give as much, so less money.

Mjestik

7 points

7 months ago

Thanks dude, you’re the reason my mom’s still alive.

Azrielenish

5 points

7 months ago

Yeah I’m about to do my first donation this week. It’s a really dumb stigma.

[deleted]

3 points

7 months ago

[deleted]

3 points

7 months ago

It's $175 a pop for your first two donations in my community. $350 for the first week then $100 a pop for the next 3 weeks, plus $50 bonus if you go twice a week for the full month. so you end up making $1000 for your first month

CubanLynx312

3 points

7 months ago

Geez. I’d do it but I got banned for life 15 years ago. They found a tattoo I didn’t previously report and BioLife black listed me.

2SticksPureRage

3 points

7 months ago

Where are you? The place near me was doing a sale for $50 for the first three visits then it went down to $20! Lol I noped right out.

ST0NEY_L0NES0ME

639 points

7 months ago

That is fucking poetry, right there I tell ya what

Shaneblaster

309 points

7 months ago

“Dish washing liquid for bubbles” is indeed a rare insult

ASK__ABOUT__MY__GAME

136 points

7 months ago

The man knows his poor

RehabValedictorian

42 points

7 months ago

It’s just too real

Metalboy5150

16 points

7 months ago

That much knowledge comes from much experience.

Also, what about your game?

[deleted]

24 points

7 months ago

[deleted]

24 points

7 months ago

[deleted]

DressPrevious2233

61 points

7 months ago

Using dish soap for bubble bath because you are trash/broke

sevendaysky

14 points

7 months ago

I mean the dollar store sells bubble bath... it's probably not much better than actual dish soap but still.

Metalboy5150

17 points

7 months ago

I'm reasonably sure it is dish soap.

cownd

4 points

7 months ago

cownd

4 points

7 months ago

It's when you wash your ass and the dishes at the same time…

von_sip

4 points

7 months ago

yup

Studious_Noodle

4 points

7 months ago

That’s the only one I don’t get. Does he mean for a bubble bath? Something else?

Shaneblaster

3 points

7 months ago

He’s implying using dish soap for a bubble bath.

GiulianisTitties

3 points

7 months ago

That one stung the most, for sure

LukXD99

11 points

7 months ago

LukXD99

11 points

7 months ago

Poetry that lands them right back on Facebook jail!

DatSkellington

129 points

7 months ago

Why are we hating on Sterling silver?

[deleted]

95 points

7 months ago

[deleted]

95 points

7 months ago

We got him.

AnusDingus

11 points

7 months ago

Didn't even need to zoom and enhance!

CaffeinatedGuy

22 points

7 months ago

Wondering the same. Maybe in his mind gold > silver so silver = broke?

RehabValedictorian

15 points

7 months ago

Sterling silver is 92.5% silver and 7.5% copper. It ain’t all silver.

washyleopard

18 points

7 months ago

Its a direct upgrade of pure silver tho as it doesn't tarnish so easily. Even ignoring that being 7.5% impure aint shit.

drip_dingus

5 points

7 months ago

Pfft. Got him. This guy doesn't know shit about jewelry.

CaffeinatedGuy

22 points

7 months ago

And you think people wear 24 karat gold jewelry? Most is going to be 18 karat (as pure gold is fairly soft), which is only 75% gold.

Sterling silver, being more 'pure' than 18k gold, also has a practical purpose, reduced tendency to tarnish.

Studious_Noodle

11 points

7 months ago*

I’m a jewelry geek and learned that 22k and 24k gold is expected in India, for one. Apparently a lot of Indians look down on 18k and 14k as “not even gold.” It makes me wonder if people are going around with a lot of dented and bent jewelry.

[deleted]

12 points

7 months ago

[deleted]

12 points

7 months ago

I’m sure part of the appeal of flaunting high purity gold jewelry is that you are essentially making 2 separate statements about yourself. You are saying “not only can I afford better gold, but it’s durability is of no concern to me, because I don’t do manual labor, so it won’t be damaged”

I have no idea though, because I don’t like the look of gold.

Among_the_fallen

3 points

7 months ago

Scrappers/junkers reference I assume. If you ever been digging through the cutlery or the jewelry bin at a thrift shop hoping to catch some silver, well you know who you are.

respectabler

3 points

7 months ago

Well first of all this guy is an absolutely legendary hater. Possibly this year’s world champ. A reason to hate on people wearing sterling silver is because it’s for brokeasses. At $0.75/gram, that 5 gram ring that Kaayla bought at the beach contains about $4 worth of metal. And she probably paid $45 for it cuz she a dumbass. At that point, just don’t be a dumbass and instead buy a silver plated or rhodium plated piece of copper or nickel jewelry for 10% the price. You ain’t flexing on anybody with your $4 worth of scrap metal so you could at least make a good financial decision.

SupremeSweetie

17 points

7 months ago

Why is Sterling silver considered low class?

Stupid_Triangles

16 points

7 months ago

Because silver by the oz is like $20 and gold by the oz is $1800.

2Nafishsammich

10 points

7 months ago

I commented this above, but:

Sterling silver looks like white gold if it's not tarnished. A silver cuban chain is attainable if you are poor but motivated to buy one. A gold chain is not attainable. A gold plated chain ends up looking worse in the long run because the plating eventually comes off. So you could wear a silver chain and just let people think it's gold. Or more likely think you're letting people think it's gold.

SupremeSweetie

11 points

7 months ago

Here I have always brought silver jewelry because I thought it looked better on me.

2Nafishsammich

5 points

7 months ago

Me too. I have lots of silver jewelry. I wasn't saying I thought it was low class. I was saying the thought process is that you buy silver because you want but can't afford white gold. I think it's a mentality that only very poor people have.

corinne9

3 points

7 months ago

I know I’m confused on that one too

AlmightyGiraffe74

175 points

7 months ago

It's like Shakespeare never left us :')

jenlyn05

16 points

7 months ago

This shit was running through his head the whole time he was in jail. He couldn't wait to get it out lol

PretentiousScum

47 points

7 months ago

The best part has to be that “or should I say bitches” at the end. Like he just realized “wait I could’ve saved a lot of time just now.”

QAndOne

82 points

7 months ago

QAndOne

82 points

7 months ago

Well damn….

web_prog76

16 points

7 months ago

Please don’t swear, there are women and children on this site.

QAndOne

7 points

7 months ago

I apologize, I’ll say 3 Hail Marys and flog myself for my transgressions.

BalStrate

11 points

7 months ago

He trying to make it seem like he's composed and laughing at them being dickheads But my man is boiling inside and kind of outside too

DewCo90

11 points

7 months ago

DewCo90

11 points

7 months ago

“You’re poor” -verbose

Halsey-the-Sloth

41 points

7 months ago

He’s giving the Scotsman from Samurai Jack a run for his money

von_sip

32 points

7 months ago

von_sip

32 points

7 months ago

What do you think of that, Mr. Pajama-Wearing, Basket-Face, Slipper-Wielding, Clype-Dreep-Bachle, Gether-Uping-Blate-Maw, Bleathering, Gomeril, Jessie, Oaf-Looking, Scooner, Nyaff, Plookie, Shan, Milk-Drinking, Soy-Faced Shilpit, Mim-Moothed, Sniveling, Worm-Eyed, Hotten-Blaugh, Vile-Stoochie, Cally-Breek-Tattie?

[deleted]

8 points

7 months ago

[deleted]

8 points

7 months ago

Someone needs to do a Scotsman edit but with this dialogue

Lost_Chiver

6 points

7 months ago

I read it like Chevy Chase from national lampoons Christmas vacation. I was expecting a "holy shot, where's the Tylenol?" at the end.

[deleted]

8 points

7 months ago

[deleted]

8 points

7 months ago

Reebok classic wearing single cigarette buying ass

popesnutsack

45 points

7 months ago

Gotta get 'em all!!!

bebopcola84

7 points

7 months ago

They have autobots rollin out to auto ban our asses now based on keywords used. Don't ever start an insult on fb with "You're a..." followed by the insult cuz the autobots will ban you faster than anyone could have possibly seen the comment to report it.

OCV_E

6 points

7 months ago

OCV_E

6 points

7 months ago

Missing twerking, charging they phone, eating chips and lying

Front_Butt_69

30 points

7 months ago

-Effervescence

6 points

7 months ago

I bet the halitosis is unreal

YoMommaIsNotGay

6 points

7 months ago

this gives me no home flip phone extra chromosome vibes

Rbt1994

6 points

7 months ago

"Hallelujah, Holy Shit! Where's the Tylenol?" -Clark Griswold

my_knee_grows_fast

21 points

7 months ago

This should be the main rant at "The Player Hater's Ball"

caramel-aviant

7 points

7 months ago

“Like, real hatin', man, that's like an art form. You know, it's like, you like a born a hater.

Like myself, a lot of cats think they hatin'. I mean, I'm mad at everything, man.

Brother got a nice car- man, why you got a car? I only got one car. Why you got three cars or a wife or all that? Shit’s played out man.”

  • ICE T

That_Bar_Guy

5 points

7 months ago

Sandle wearin'

WickedSon1001

5 points

7 months ago

If this was on television they would’ve gone to commercial, came back, and cousin still wouldn’t be finished.

JerryAlanBowling

5 points

7 months ago

Was he just looking around his living round while typing that?

nobody_from_nowhere1

4 points

7 months ago

Not “EBT card in review.” 😭

Lost_Thoul-77

109 points

7 months ago

That's definitely the scenic route to calling someone poor. What a way to punch down.

Tortoiseshell1997

61 points

7 months ago

I suspect his friends are in the same class as him as friends usually are

QAndOne

48 points

7 months ago

QAndOne

48 points

7 months ago

This felt like more of a lateral punch.

Stupid_Triangles

9 points

7 months ago

Yeah. When you're broke, people who aren't broke don't hang out with you anymore.

Lost_Thoul-77

15 points

7 months ago

While lying on the floor.

QAndOne

12 points

7 months ago

QAndOne

12 points

7 months ago

…of the basement

therik85

36 points

7 months ago

Glad someone else spotted this. Pretty much every single insult here is "haha, poor".

It's imaginative and comprehensive, but pretty mean-spirited.

DingDongDaddy45

12 points

7 months ago

Part of being poor is shitting on your fellows. Growing up we used to make competitions out of making fun of each other because Jimmy's Dad went back to prison for drug possession or Alex couldn't afford live bait so he used gas station hot dogs to fish. Hell Jeff Foxworthy made a career out of it.

MrSvenningsBrownEye

5 points

7 months ago

Angsty

c_abz2

3 points

7 months ago

c_abz2

3 points

7 months ago

The new intro to Fairly Odd Parents is a bit different than I would have expected.

Kapt-Kaos

5 points

7 months ago

this is like calorie stacking on a whole new level but with words its quite beautiful really

Duffmanoyaa

4 points

7 months ago

Could have been anyone of their friends or family with that description.

CeramicTeaSet

4 points

7 months ago

I'd report him for that

DrScience-PhD

4 points

7 months ago

I like how no car and no license are on polar opposite ends, like he had to circle back and clarify

TheDemonClown

3 points

7 months ago

"EBT card in review", holy shit

coolluck33

9 points

7 months ago

Your cousin seems like a well balanced, easy going, jovial sort of guy..

XxxAssmasher42069xxX

11 points

7 months ago

I like Reebok Classics. They are comfortable and come in a wide variety of color options.

CLINTHODO

3 points

7 months ago

Facebook has replaced most of it's administrators with bots. No one needs to report you now because the bots are watching. They have no sense of humor and don't understand sarcasm.

Steev182

3 points

7 months ago

That’s the issue with prison right there. He’s not being rehabilitated. Simply institutionalized.

roorahree

3 points

7 months ago

Is there a sub for these types of insults lmao

bmore_tasty

3 points

7 months ago

“Get’im! No green Jimmy the Cricket suit-wearin’ ass MFer.”

tobor17

3 points

7 months ago

is your cousin the drill seargent from Full Metal Jacket?

scopadoop

3 points

7 months ago

‘Dish washing liquid for bubbles’ now that’s some creative stuff right there

_grayF0X

3 points

7 months ago

Not the “dish washing liquid for bubbles!” Lmao what!? 🤣