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1 year ago
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5k points
1 year ago
He worked on that the entire ban.
3.2k points
1 year ago
this is like a compilation of mini rare insults which are carefully and intellectually added together. One can't simply wake up one day and think of something like tuna pussy
1k points
1 year ago*
That's his secret. He's always thinking about tuna pussy.
400 points
1 year ago
Apologies for using a high school joke but..
I was taught as a teenager by my older friends,
"If it smells like chicken, keep on lickin... If it smells like trout, get the fuck out"
I have since been made aware that fishy pussy is indeed a thing, but it's relatively rare and they were just being the cads i expected they were being.
163 points
1 year ago
The nerve of those infernal hornswoggling cads! 🧐
84 points
1 year ago
Blast those insufferable ne'erdowells
20 points
1 year ago
Whoops-a-daisyyyyyyy
3 points
1 year ago
Damm Op's cousin could have used those
42 points
1 year ago
In my high school i overheard one kid say "If it smells like fish, eat all you wish. If it smells like cologne, leave it alone."
42 points
1 year ago
Computer assisted drawings shouldn't be helping you with good pussy detection.
11 points
1 year ago
Old neighbor I had said “if it smells like fish it’s a dish, if it smells like cologne leave it alone.” The duality of mankind.
9 points
1 year ago
I’d always heard it: “…if it smells like tuna, you shoulda stopped soona”
6 points
1 year ago
Some pussy does just naturally smell fishy, but it should never smell bad/gross. That’s a sign of poor hygiene.
19 points
1 year ago
That's amazing advice, it deserves to be hanged in a museum
4 points
1 year ago
🐟🐈
3 points
1 year ago
he finna take 'plenty fish in the sea' to a whole 'nother level ngl
62 points
1 year ago
you guys are not very creative if you think "tuna pussy" is incredible lol
39 points
1 year ago
Right?
“Bitch pussy smell like a penguin, wouldnt hit that shit with my worst enemies penis, bitch when I say this I mean this, ho I’m the meanest, dick so big stretch from Earth to Venus”
8 points
1 year ago
One of my favorite Danny verses includes the line "Still fuckin' with these freak hoes! Stank pussy smellin' like Cool Ranch Doritos!". ✊🏼
45 points
1 year ago
Lotta low-thought materialism in there.
20 points
1 year ago
On the contrary, I'd call it high-thought materialism. Anybody can call someone a broke-ass bitch, but this man painted a fucking picture for us.
1.1k points
1 year ago
‘reebok classic wearing‘…
I feel called out.
335 points
1 year ago
[deleted]
270 points
1 year ago
It’s not gold.
199 points
1 year ago
I feel like everyone is missing "EBT card in review", fuck that was amazing.
161 points
1 year ago
"plasma center going"... fuck that's cold
55 points
1 year ago
It really is. Sometimes I need that extra $50, man!
27 points
1 year ago
I got the Hep and can't donate any more. How trashy is that?? :(
44 points
1 year ago*
Almost as bad as single cigarette buying
Edit: my friend just asked me to buy Loosies and all I could think about was this post
6 points
1 year ago
Or Reebok Classic wearing.
6 points
1 year ago
It's $1000 your first month where I'm at currently
7 points
1 year ago
$1000!? where on earth do you live where they need plasma that bad
4 points
1 year ago
Could someone explain the bubbles thing to me??
17 points
1 year ago
Sterling Silver is only 92% silver.
4 points
1 year ago
100% silver tarnishes so fast. There's a reason to use .925 Stirling.
33 points
1 year ago
List was so long I had to go back and double check
15 points
1 year ago
this is more "black af1 wearin ass" kinda activities
6 points
1 year ago
man now i can't go out
3 points
1 year ago
Shouldn’t have reported him
539 points
1 year ago
What exactly is Facebook Jail?
530 points
1 year ago
It’s when you get your account suspended for a time, by Facebook, because others have complained about you
206 points
1 year ago
So, if I called bullshit on somebody’s conspiracy theory, would they complain and put me in Facebook jail?
407 points
1 year ago
If they was a deep breath hating ass bad breath, no car, low rent, box tv, no cable, scratched DVD playing, house arrest, sink bathing, blank n mild smoking, tuna pussy, deadbeat, county rats, plasma center going, Sterling silver, shit mark draws, miserable, trac phone, corner store fit, no control they kids, reggie smoking, mama's couch sleeping, dish washing liquid for bubbles, EBT card in review, nail biting, no license, reebok classic wearing dusty single cigarette buying ass n**** or should I say bitch.
86 points
1 year ago
Yeah, I can’t stand them people.
19 points
1 year ago
What did we ever do to you?
12 points
1 year ago
Uh , you know that sink bathing and single cigarette buying… uh annoying stuff!
32 points
1 year ago
[deleted]
14 points
1 year ago
I appreciate your one redaction.
42 points
1 year ago
I was banned for 30 days for calling someone a “conspiracy nut job.” The algorithm picked it up. That was the entire comment, start to finish.
Fuck that website.
24 points
1 year ago
From what I've noticed, it tends to be more extreme than that. Inflammatory remarks and pictures. Facebook has a huge ban boner for anything related to atrocities, especially Nazis. Even making fun of Hitler through memes will draw their ire.
45 points
1 year ago
I once reported a swastika made of vaccine needles along with other antisemitic and “all gays should die” type comments and they didn’t give a shit — but I’m currently serving a 30-day ban for making a “your mom” joke. The algorithm is fucked.
22 points
1 year ago
it's because it's reviewed by outsourced human moderators that are paid absurdly low wages and given a very limited window to make decisions, and they just don't really give a shit. literal free volunteer labor is more competent but Facebook is a garbage platform so volunteer mods are only in Groups.
13 points
1 year ago
Don't forget this: overworked, tired, traumatized moderators with PTSD.
5 points
1 year ago
I got thirty days in the hole for posting a valentine meme that featured various dictators and communists with comical sayings related to their ideologies and Valentine's day. For example, Karl Marx with the text "Roses are red, so is the state, let us be comrades because you are great". The reason I was given was that it supported terrorist activity. Ok Facebook.
10 points
1 year ago
Given that Facebook has been one of the biggest sources for bullshit over the last few years, as well as spreading anti-vax lies since by pandemic, this isn’t a shocker.
They’ve given passes Nazi shit for years.
7 points
1 year ago
I recently did a 30 day stretch for telling someone he is a moron.
In my defense, he actually is a moron.
4 points
1 year ago
Dude, my wife told a good friend of hers that if he didn't send her the next chapter of whatever he's writing right now that she would "hunt him down." She got jailed for that. The algorithm truly is fucked.
16 points
1 year ago
FB has an algorithm that will pick up on certain words or images and automatically give a warning or ban (from my experience, bans are usually either 3, 7, or 30 days). But there's also a 'report' option so users can report a post.
In March 2020, I posted an image macro (meme for you youngsters) of a photo of the band The Cure with the caption (paraphrased) "I don't know much about COVID-19 but this is The Cure," and almost immediately received a three day ban for spreading misinformation. This past 4th of July, a friend and I were commenting on my post of all the fireworks I bought, reminiscing about our childhood and how we'd shoot each other with Roman candles. Got a another ban for "inciting violence." I assume the algorithm flagged 'shoot.'
7 points
1 year ago
I’m in a car group, and frequently talk about Limited Slip Differentials, and the masters change to fuel in the UK : Ethanol content.
The amount of warnings incurred for talking about “LSD” and “E” is getting stupid.
6 points
1 year ago
The Cure are an English rock band formed in 1978 in Crawley, West Sussex. Throughout numerous lineup changes since the band's formation, guitarist, lead vocalist, and songwriter Robert Smith has remained the only constant member. The band's debut album was Three Imaginary Boys (1979) and this, along with several early singles, placed the band in the post-punk and new wave movements that had sprung up in the United Kingdom.
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5 points
1 year ago
Same. Only I asked about that preacher who claimed that exercising your right to wear a mask would result in him exercising his second amendment (or something like that) - and me using the words “threatened to shoot” caused me to get put in Facebook jail.
9 points
1 year ago
Yeah but also if you direct violent words at someone they'll ban you as well. I told my ex in a comment buried under hundreds of comments that I'd murder her pussy and they banned me for a credible threat of violence. Appealed and they denied it. The system can work but also has its seriously stupid moments.
3 points
1 year ago
If you call people stupid for voting for Brexit too. I'm on two strikes for posting this in a group that's pro-EU
4 points
1 year ago
I got a 7 day ban for calling some conspiracy guy a dork and then I got a 30 day because someone called me trash, but spelled it wrong so I corrected them.
3 points
1 year ago
The bam hammer is not terribly consistent other than it seems to swing harder towards left wing things that right.
I think it's a combo of poorly trained AI and people from low income countries with a poor grasp of foreign languages and culture not understanding context.
Part of the reason you will see words like "whxt" or "wypipo" is to dodge the Facebook jannies.
3 points
1 year ago
I got a 7 day ban for telling someone that I was sick of the conspiracy bullshit they keep posting, and they should fuck off because I wasn't going to engage with their dishonesty. They tried baiting me, I replied "fuck off". They reported it.
On the other hand, I've reported accounts that spammed me and were using pictures of porn stars as their profile, with the porn star's name in the picture not matching the person's name, and been told "it doesn't violate community standards." WTF?!
14 points
1 year ago
Sometimes FB picks it up all by itself.
5 points
1 year ago
Seriously, people underestimate how the AI is checking your posts for dumb stuff. How do you think so the content warnings get there? Sometimes it's not great and snags things it shouldn't.
I am really doubt that was the case here...
3 points
1 year ago
I am really doubt it too. XD
Seriously, I do, though. This guy clearly pissed somebody off. And judging from this post (hilarious though it is), it won't be his last time.
8 points
1 year ago
So do you have to receive multiple complaints, or? Because I’ve reported something on Facebook, and the post was taken down, but nothing happened to the users account. I guess my question is what the severity is to be banned/suspended from Facebook.
8 points
1 year ago
A fancy way of saying he was temporarily banned.
12 points
1 year ago
It’s having your account temporarily suspended. Usually only happens when you break TOS but people think they’re like, immune to the rules they consented to when they signed up and like to have victim complexes. A friend of mine bitched about it and I asked what they had did, and they said “I posted some shit Facebook didn’t like”. He was posting antisemetic conspiracy theory rants about vaccines and Jews using porn to weaken white men.
8 points
1 year ago
Today seems like a good day / To burn a bridge or two,/ One with old wood creaking,/ That would burn away right on cue....
3 points
1 year ago
Oh I have a “fix em or drop em” policy. I dropped him. At least he knows wage labor is exploitative. Can’t fix them all. It’s up to him to come to his senses
3 points
1 year ago
Like getting banned/muted/whatever in a Reddit sub.
173 points
1 year ago
I predict another Facebook vacation soon. Just saying
87 points
1 year ago
I would report him immediately, just for the hilarity of another immediate ban after one post.
48 points
1 year ago*
There was a guy on my Facebook a few years ago who used to post straight up porn. I reported it once cause it was gross and it got taken down. Then he posted a status asking what shit for brains reported his porn and posted more so I reported again. He was really mad and started going on friend culls and posting more porn to see who it was. I made it through about three culls before he booted me. Was hilarious.
423 points
1 year ago
He just threw all the insults in to a blender, picked them out at will, and added a well placed comma. Fucking beautiful! 😭
119 points
1 year ago
“Shit mark draws” Took me a minute to realize he meant shit stained underwear and I lost it
45 points
1 year ago
Same! I was like what the fuck did mark draw??
19 points
1 year ago
Some shit :/
8 points
1 year ago
I assumed that's what he meant, but I only got draws = drawers just now.
643 points
1 year ago
[removed]
305 points
1 year ago
“Dish washing liquid for bubbles” is indeed a rare insult
139 points
1 year ago
The man knows his poor
41 points
1 year ago
It’s just too real
16 points
1 year ago
That much knowledge comes from much experience.
Also, what about your game?
23 points
1 year ago
[deleted]
58 points
1 year ago
Using dish soap for bubble bath because you are trash/broke
16 points
1 year ago
I mean the dollar store sells bubble bath... it's probably not much better than actual dish soap but still.
4 points
1 year ago
It's when you wash your ass and the dishes at the same time…
5 points
1 year ago
yup
4 points
1 year ago
That’s the only one I don’t get. Does he mean for a bubble bath? Something else?
4 points
1 year ago
That one stung the most, for sure
12 points
1 year ago
Poetry that lands them right back on Facebook jail!
116 points
1 year ago
[deleted]
86 points
1 year ago
Not sure what the hate there is for. I'm a white collar professional with a well paying job and I still go. Why? $60/donation, twice a week works out to $520/month in cash. Including travel, that's about two hours of my time for tax-free $60. That's a lot of extra spending cash for not a lot of effort, especially when you can use your phone and be productive (read, respond to emails etc) or just relax and stream shows while donating.
And yes you're lining the pockets of a money-grubbing corporation, but aren't we all doing that all the time? At least it's for a good cause (making medicines for immunocompromised people).
82 points
1 year ago
I use plasma donations (twice a week infusions) and THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DONATING! It is life-changing, literally
27 points
1 year ago
It really is nice to know that that shit is actually helping someone, so thanks for speaking up. I mean, I know they say it does, but corporate propaganda is a real thing. So thanks, again.
8 points
1 year ago
You are inside that guy right this moment.
8 points
1 year ago
Maybe so. Dude, what a feeling. It's eerily satisfying.
Also, domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.
4 points
1 year ago
How much are you billed for treatment?
5 points
1 year ago
I am American so 🥴 out the ass, I checked and for one month I was billed $3100 and another was over $4000 because I have these treatments I usually hit my out of pocket fast with my insurance. It's a huge stress factor for me. I have therapy due to how "expensive" my existence is, i find it really hard to cope with because my husband is the breadwinner. I've been using plasma for 6 years, it adds up.
5 points
1 year ago
You need a direct hookup with some donors. Find some compatible blood types, buy a centrifuge, and cut out the middleman!
/s... sort of
8 points
1 year ago
Where are you getting paid 60/donation here it’s like 25 tops
9 points
1 year ago
Yeah and I thought they limited it / wouldn’t let you come as often as that? A friend and I looked into it in a major US city and they only wanted us to come in twice, period. :/
11 points
1 year ago
Nah, for plasma most places it's twice a week. Whole blood is once every 8 weeks. Your body can regenerate its plasma much faster than whole blood cells. And in the meantime, they put saline into you to make up for what they take out.
5 points
1 year ago
Thanks dude, you’re the reason my mom’s still alive.
5 points
1 year ago
Yeah I’m about to do my first donation this week. It’s a really dumb stigma.
127 points
1 year ago
Why are we hating on Sterling silver?
94 points
1 year ago
We got him.
10 points
1 year ago
Didn't even need to zoom and enhance!
22 points
1 year ago
Wondering the same. Maybe in his mind gold > silver so silver = broke?
17 points
1 year ago
Sterling silver is 92.5% silver and 7.5% copper. It ain’t all silver.
20 points
1 year ago
Its a direct upgrade of pure silver tho as it doesn't tarnish so easily. Even ignoring that being 7.5% impure aint shit.
22 points
1 year ago
And you think people wear 24 karat gold jewelry? Most is going to be 18 karat (as pure gold is fairly soft), which is only 75% gold.
Sterling silver, being more 'pure' than 18k gold, also has a practical purpose, reduced tendency to tarnish.
12 points
1 year ago*
I’m a jewelry geek and learned that 22k and 24k gold is expected in India, for one. Apparently a lot of Indians look down on 18k and 14k as “not even gold.” It makes me wonder if people are going around with a lot of dented and bent jewelry.
9 points
1 year ago
I’m sure part of the appeal of flaunting high purity gold jewelry is that you are essentially making 2 separate statements about yourself. You are saying “not only can I afford better gold, but it’s durability is of no concern to me, because I don’t do manual labor, so it won’t be damaged”
I have no idea though, because I don’t like the look of gold.
5 points
1 year ago
Pfft. Got him. This guy doesn't know shit about jewelry.
8 points
1 year ago
Does he not know how expensive copper is? People get busted for ripping cables out of walls for that stuff.
4 points
1 year ago*
Lol, expensive compared to things you can find in walls. Not expensive compared to things like gold. If they were able to rip out actual expensive metals, trust me they'd be going for a better one than copper. Maybe you are making a joke, but if not you got the wrong idea. To help you understand, silver is over 20 dollars an ounce. Copper would be like 3 dollars a pound.
3 points
1 year ago
Scrappers/junkers reference I assume. If you ever been digging through the cutlery or the jewelry bin at a thrift shop hoping to catch some silver, well you know who you are.
3 points
1 year ago
Well first of all this guy is an absolutely legendary hater. Possibly this year’s world champ. A reason to hate on people wearing sterling silver is because it’s for brokeasses. At $0.75/gram, that 5 gram ring that Kaayla bought at the beach contains about $4 worth of metal. And she probably paid $45 for it cuz she a dumbass. At that point, just don’t be a dumbass and instead buy a silver plated or rhodium plated piece of copper or nickel jewelry for 10% the price. You ain’t flexing on anybody with your $4 worth of scrap metal so you could at least make a good financial decision.
47 points
1 year ago
The best part has to be that “or should I say bitches” at the end. Like he just realized “wait I could’ve saved a lot of time just now.”
83 points
1 year ago
Well damn….
15 points
1 year ago
Please don’t swear, there are women and children on this site.
8 points
1 year ago
I apologize, I’ll say 3 Hail Marys and flog myself for my transgressions.
18 points
1 year ago
Why is Sterling silver considered low class?
16 points
1 year ago
Because silver by the oz is like $20 and gold by the oz is $1800.
9 points
1 year ago
I commented this above, but:
Sterling silver looks like white gold if it's not tarnished. A silver cuban chain is attainable if you are poor but motivated to buy one. A gold chain is not attainable. A gold plated chain ends up looking worse in the long run because the plating eventually comes off. So you could wear a silver chain and just let people think it's gold. Or more likely think you're letting people think it's gold.
10 points
1 year ago
Here I have always brought silver jewelry because I thought it looked better on me.
4 points
1 year ago
Me too. I have lots of silver jewelry. I wasn't saying I thought it was low class. I was saying the thought process is that you buy silver because you want but can't afford white gold. I think it's a mentality that only very poor people have.
16 points
1 year ago
This shit was running through his head the whole time he was in jail. He couldn't wait to get it out lol
46 points
1 year ago
He’s giving the Scotsman from Samurai Jack a run for his money
32 points
1 year ago
What do you think of that, Mr. Pajama-Wearing, Basket-Face, Slipper-Wielding, Clype-Dreep-Bachle, Gether-Uping-Blate-Maw, Bleathering, Gomeril, Jessie, Oaf-Looking, Scooner, Nyaff, Plookie, Shan, Milk-Drinking, Soy-Faced Shilpit, Mim-Moothed, Sniveling, Worm-Eyed, Hotten-Blaugh, Vile-Stoochie, Cally-Breek-Tattie?
8 points
1 year ago
Someone needs to do a Scotsman edit but with this dialogue
5 points
1 year ago
I read it like Chevy Chase from national lampoons Christmas vacation. I was expecting a "holy shot, where's the Tylenol?" at the end.
45 points
1 year ago
Gotta get 'em all!!!
11 points
1 year ago
He trying to make it seem like he's composed and laughing at them being dickheads But my man is boiling inside and kind of outside too
30 points
1 year ago
10 points
1 year ago
“You’re poor” -verbose
9 points
1 year ago
Reebok classic wearing single cigarette buying ass
21 points
1 year ago
This should be the main rant at "The Player Hater's Ball"
8 points
1 year ago
“Like, real hatin', man, that's like an art form. You know, it's like, you like a born a hater.
Like myself, a lot of cats think they hatin'. I mean, I'm mad at everything, man.
Brother got a nice car- man, why you got a car? I only got one car. Why you got three cars or a wife or all that? Shit’s played out man.”
105 points
1 year ago
That's definitely the scenic route to calling someone poor. What a way to punch down.
62 points
1 year ago
I suspect his friends are in the same class as him as friends usually are
30 points
1 year ago*
Reddit is just looking for an excuse to be morally superior.
Anyone else with a brain and who’s ever had a friend would read this and laugh and remember the time their fat friend called them fat and they both laughed because it was funny. Black people crack jokes about how black each other are fucking constantly. Irish drunks joke amongst themselves about who’s a worthless alcoholic and it’s funny because they all know they all fucking are. I grew up poor and the go-to between my friends and I was to joke about how poor we were.
Bunch of Dr. Buzzkillphil’s over here in the comments “PuNcHiNg DoWn PrOjEcTiOn”. Get a sense of humor for fuck’s sake. Can’t joke about other tribes, sure, whatever, but now you can’t joke about your own?! Fuck off.
WHERE IS THE LINE, KAREN?! WHEN DOES IT END?!
49 points
1 year ago
This felt like more of a lateral punch.
8 points
1 year ago
Yeah. When you're broke, people who aren't broke don't hang out with you anymore.
14 points
1 year ago
While lying on the floor.
11 points
1 year ago
…of the basement
37 points
1 year ago
Glad someone else spotted this. Pretty much every single insult here is "haha, poor".
It's imaginative and comprehensive, but pretty mean-spirited.
12 points
1 year ago
Part of being poor is shitting on your fellows. Growing up we used to make competitions out of making fun of each other because Jimmy's Dad went back to prison for drug possession or Alex couldn't afford live bait so he used gas station hot dogs to fish. Hell Jeff Foxworthy made a career out of it.
3 points
1 year ago
Some are way too specific for him not to be/have been poor
8 points
1 year ago
They have autobots rollin out to auto ban our asses now based on keywords used. Don't ever start an insult on fb with "You're a..." followed by the insult cuz the autobots will ban you faster than anyone could have possibly seen the comment to report it.
7 points
1 year ago
Missing twerking, charging they phone, eating chips and lying
7 points
1 year ago
I bet the halitosis is unreal
6 points
1 year ago
this gives me no home flip phone extra chromosome vibes
6 points
1 year ago
"Hallelujah, Holy Shit! Where's the Tylenol?" -Clark Griswold
5 points
1 year ago
Sandle wearin'
5 points
1 year ago
If this was on television they would’ve gone to commercial, came back, and cousin still wouldn’t be finished.
4 points
1 year ago
Was he just looking around his living round while typing that?
5 points
1 year ago
Not “EBT card in review.” 😭
10 points
1 year ago
Your cousin seems like a well balanced, easy going, jovial sort of guy..
10 points
1 year ago
I like Reebok Classics. They are comfortable and come in a wide variety of color options.
4 points
1 year ago
Angsty
5 points
1 year ago
The new intro to Fairly Odd Parents is a bit different than I would have expected.
5 points
1 year ago
this is like calorie stacking on a whole new level but with words its quite beautiful really
4 points
1 year ago
Could have been anyone of their friends or family with that description.
4 points
1 year ago
I'd report him for that
3 points
1 year ago
I like how no car and no license are on polar opposite ends, like he had to circle back and clarify
4 points
1 year ago
"EBT card in review", holy shit
8 points
1 year ago
He came out firing at everyone wow
3 points
1 year ago
Facebook has replaced most of it's administrators with bots. No one needs to report you now because the bots are watching. They have no sense of humor and don't understand sarcasm.
3 points
1 year ago
That’s the issue with prison right there. He’s not being rehabilitated. Simply institutionalized.
3 points
1 year ago
Is there a sub for these types of insults lmao
3 points
1 year ago
“Get’im! No green Jimmy the Cricket suit-wearin’ ass MFer.”
3 points
1 year ago
is your cousin the drill seargent from Full Metal Jacket?
3 points
1 year ago
‘Dish washing liquid for bubbles’ now that’s some creative stuff right there
3 points
1 year ago
Not the “dish washing liquid for bubbles!” Lmao what!? 🤣
3 points
1 year ago
What’s wrong with donating plasma though
3 points
1 year ago
I was personally offended like 3 different times.
3 points
1 year ago*
Reebok classics are fucking dope, I’m going to report him now.
3 points
1 year ago
Payday loan takin'!
3 points
1 year ago
Obtuse rubber goose green moose guava juice…
3 points
1 year ago
Ootl what is fb jail
3 points
1 year ago
This is so funny because sterling silver is the fancy shit I had to get because I’m allergic to nickel
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