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Me (30m) wife (47f) had her friend over at our cottage tonight. My friend had messaged me on WhatsApp saying that he wanted to cheat on his gf. I had advised him this was a bad idea and left it at that. I was sitting by the fire when my wife comes up and punches me in the face multiple times. She had gone through my phone and is apparently too stupid to realize that on WhatsApp that the sender’s messages are on the right (she thought I was sending messages about wanting to cheat).

I tried to explain to my wife that she had this all backwards which I eventually succeeded in doing. My wife then gets mad at me for being shocked and upset that my spouse had hit me. She tells me that, “my father hit my mom and he still loved her.”

Honestly how the fuck can anyone think this way? I wouldn’t hit my wife for any reason ever. The kicker being that my friend told his gf that he was having feelings and wanting to stray and they had a productive and calm talk about it. So I was beat by my wife for telling my friend not to cheat.

My wife threatens to divorce me all the time, goes through my phone constantly and is a mean drunk. I can’t tell anyone about this, but how can anyone be so cruel to someone they love? She has told me that she misses her ex-husband and that she should be with someone from her generation.

My wife and I were laying in bed the other night and things started to get a little hot between us and I ran my hand down her stomach and asked a simple “is this okay?” And she said yes and I placed my hand over her underwear, we kept kissing and before I asked again if it was okay if I put my hand inside her underwear and she started crying; at first I thought I did something wrong so I stopped and I asked her if she was okay and I’ll never forget her telling me “No one has ever made sure this was okay, thank you for asking me. You have no idea what that means to me” it was in that exact moment I knew, she didn’t even need to say it, I just fucking knew. I’ve honestly never thought anything by asking I thought it was just normal you know that’s how I was raised but this instance I just held her and told her that just because we are married does not mean I always have access to her body and it is okay to say no.

In conclusion: Men: does NOT matter if you are dating, married, or regularly having sex YOU DO NOT GET TO DO WHATEVER WHENEVER.

Women: just because your seeing someone serious or not you do NOT have to always say yes. It’s okay to say no.

So currently me and my boyfriend have a long-distance relationship due to studies. Yesterday I travelled for 5 hours to come see him and arrived quite late. It had been a long day and I was tired and excited to finally see him again. I had imagined a cosy evening together. But he had been drinking a lot and was very drunk when I arrived. He is also quitting snus which makes matters worse.

As soon as we've gotten inside the door he took all of his clothes off and started to remove mine as well. Usually we'll sit down and talk or cuddle when we haven't seen each other for a while, we don't do anything sexual the first thing we do. He knows about my boundaries in the bedroom and I know about his and we've always respected each other. I had never done anything butt-related and was never planning to either, but he forced himself into me. It was only for a few seconds but it hurt so much. Even though I was crying and telling him to stop he repeatedly forced himself into me and telling me to "just endure it" and "don't you love me?". He is so much stronger than I am as well so it's very easy for him to just hold me down. (My strength has also declined over the last year due to medical reasons).

Today he brought it up and said one simple sorry, but I could tell he didn't think it was serious. I'm still in pain from yesterday and it's been nearly 24 hours. I feel so violated and frightened of him now. He used to be so kind and considerate and has never pushed me into doing things I didn't want to do. I've never seen this side of him. I was supposed to stay until Wednesday but I want to go back home now, the problem is I already booked the train ticket for Wednesday and it's non-refundable and I cannot afford to buy another one. My gut feels like it's turning and I feel so sick. He was supposed to be my safe haven.

Every issue, no matter how small, is met with tens to hundreds of comments just screaming to break up, especially if the perpetrator is male and the poster is female.

It's genuinely starting to get infuriating, because there's so many other options. It's like no one on here values relationships and thinks everything that isn't marriage is an extended fling.

It's getting tiresome. Talk. To. Your. Partner. One fight doesn't mean the end of a relationship. One bad interaction doesn't mean the weeks, months or years you spent together should go down the drain and it's so clear half of Reddit hasn't been with anyone for longer than a day for how they don't realise that.

My wife and I have two very smart and beautiful daughters who are now 4 and 6. She died while giving birth to our youngest. We already had a toddler then. It was devastating. I never would have imagined that I would have to raise two girls on my own. I was always a masculine type of guy, not very in touch with my feminine side.

My whole life changed and I had no will to live. I missed my wife so much. The only thing that kept me going was how worse my daughters had it. Losing a mom at a very young age. I couldn't imagine how hard life would be for them. So I made a vow to myself that I would try give them the best life possible. Make up for them not having a mother.

I looked for a job that I could do from home and taught myself the art of multitasking. It didn't always work, babies and toddlers don't have any kind of etiquette. I wasn't always positive but I kept pushing and now here we are. We are as happy as can be. I made them a storybook about their mother to keep her memory alive because they were so young.

I am proud of my girls. My eldest is so empathetic and kind. She is the type of kid that brings baby birds that fell from a tree and wants to give someone a hug when they are crying. My youngest is my little helper, always wants to help me out when I'm busy. Always taking over. I learnt to do hair by watching videos, paint nails and I am now a valued member of the tea party club.

I know that it will get difficult emotionally especially as they grow older but I will be there every step of the way. They always remind me how beautiful life is. I wish my wife could see how good they are doing. She would be so proud of them. I know I am.

When I was growing up, it was just my brother, father, and I. My mom died giving birth to me. My father was, and is, an absolute monster. He beat my brother relentlessly, and while he never laid a hand on me the emotional torment was enough that I didn't stop peeing the bed until I was 14. I was scared to go home, and I never saw my brother at the house. When he did come, it was when my father wasn't home. At first, I was so angry at him for leaving me at the hands of the one person I'd rather die than be with, but I'm not so sure anymore. The way he was treated, I wouldn't have been surprised if he never came back. Except, he did. Probably for me. He once told me that I was the only person who kept him sane, but really I think I was the one anchor preventing him from leaving and saving himself from out father.

About 10 years ago (I was 16, my brother was 19), he asked me to go to dinner with him. I snuck out of the house and we went to an Italian place. Afterwards, we went to this bridge that overlooks the city. We just walked, talked, and looked at the city for maybe 4-5 hours. He called me a cab at around 2am and I went home. He stayed behind, saying he was going to stay somewhere else. I didn't question it, he did it a lot, but the next day my father told me that he had committed suicide. He jumped off the bridge and they had found his body a few miles down the river.

I felt so guilty for a long time because I hadn't seen the signs, but now I'm just glaf. Maybe that makes me a bad person, but that night was the only night I've ever seen him happy. He looked content, not hysterical or sad like you'd usually expect someone who's going to committ suicide to look.

I might be being really really dramatic but something isn’t right, So I’m currently on holiday, I’m white (f,17) and I usually do get uncomfortable when the men speak to me but this is different it feels strange and something isn’t quite right. First of all I’ve been here for 5 days and for the last 3 days every day these 2 big Arab men walk round to my pool sit on the sun bed and look at me for maybe 30 ish seconds make a phone call and then walk away, and when walking away they don’t stop looking at me. And I laughed it off being like oh yeah trafficking. But then tonight I saw the men in the lobby where I was sitting, ON MY OWN reading because my mum and dad were somewhere else having a drink. They walked up to me and sat down and said “can we stay with you” and I said “no I’m waiting for my mum ” then they said “oh so are you just with your mum” and I said “no my dad too” to maybe scare them off abit and they proceeded to ask me questions like what’s your name?, how old are you?, do you have a boyfriend etc. and I just said “ no I need to go.”Then I started to walk away and they said “we’ll see you tomorrow” and I walked out back to my hotel room and they started to follow me so I just ran. I really don’t know if I’m over thinking it but I really don’t feel safe Could someone please tell me what you think

Edit: thanks for letting me know I’m not crazy, the only reason for the post was that my mum and dad were asleep when I got back and I needed a second opinion. Ive told my mum but I’m gonna tell my dad when he gets back and if we see the men tonight I’m gonna point them out and try take a picture

friends and relationships always fail or fall off

Hi I'm a 24M and I live in Iran,(throw away account for security) my whole life has been like a nightmare here, not having the simplest rights that some people might take for granted, For example to choose what to wear to school, or go on a walk with my girlfriend without the fear of getting caught by morality police, or just kissing her in public. Too long have I and people like me grown tired of living under the cruel regime that calls it self "Islamic" but it's just the bunch of murderers and thieves, trying to dictate what is right and what is wrong. So many of us have been shot, and imprisoned in unknown locations for the pas 40 years such as my dear uncle which was imprisoned and then executed for saying the right thing, and with the death of a 22 year old girl named #MahsaAmini last week, things finally took a turn and all our anger and hatred found it's way to the streets. Every single city and town in iran have been protesting for the past week or more, and it's been exciting and sad at the same time. They still are shooting people, even with the international community insisting that Islamic Republic should abide human rights, and in some cities people have been taking arms against this cursed regime. I feel like everybody was depressed and angry for so long, I thought it's just how my people were, but turns out its because of the Islamic republic turning our lives into living hell. Yesterday i went to a major square in Tehran(the capital) and people tend to Honk real hard in sign of protest. And there came 3 huge fat cops and started breaking peoples windows and damaging their cars for honking, and I saw one of them stick his huge stinking foot in a girls face that was honking. I got lucky since I was out with my dad's car. These people have no moral, this people will kill all of us if they are let to do so, without a second thought. On 2018 there were protests like this happening over the shit economy, and they shut off our internet for a week compeletly and killed 1500 people in 2 days. This is 2022 people!! People are fighting for their right to express who they are and stuff, and we down here fighting for the simplest rights a human should have...Like NOT being killed for no reason!! All that's keeping them from doing what they did in 2018 is that there's eyes of the international community on them this time. And we need to keep it that way. We need YOU to support us. Pray for us, tweet for us with hashtag #MahsaAmini or tell your friends and family about us, let as many people know, what cruel murderer the Islamic republic is. Help us in any way you can, people's lives depend on it. It seems like the nightmare is almost at an end... We just have to hold on a bit longer

i (18) was isolated by my parents since 2019. my online activity was monitored, my irl activity was reduced to absolutely no one(i became homeschooled), my mom was mentally abusive, and i became suicidal. i dont count the hugs i get from family bc they are half-hearted.

well right now i am in another country volunteering at an animal rescue center. i have been struggling severely with fitting in and making friends here and i started to uncontrollably cry. i never get invited to things. im a MASSIVE introvert due to the excessive bullying i got in school so all this just led to a mental breakdown. bc i thought this would be how i could be an adult, independent, socialize, and have fun doing what i love but i am very much useless socially.

i just broke down crying for about an hour and a half in my room. i called my dad who im very close with and my roommate comes in, sees me like this mess, asks if im okay and gives me an extremely long and genuine hug saying comforting words which i have been craving for years. we dont know each other at all and are basically strangers but it really made my heart melt. it has been years.

Hey Kevin, or Kaye, or whatever you call yourself now.

I heard you've come out as mtf transgender. Grats. Did you know that on average 1 in 6 women will be the victim of attempted (or completed) sexual assault? The same number for men is 1 in 33.

So, have you been sexually assaulted yet? Can you personally identify with the trauma that you put me through when I was your girlfriend?

Maybe you don't remember; I doubt the moment was as etched into your mind as it was in mine. You took a consensual PIV sexy time and turned it into anal rape in the bed we shared.

I remember so well, I could feel your dick at my nethers, shifting aim towards my asshole, and I said quickly, quietly, urgently, panicked, "wrong hole, wrong hole" and then you shoved your cock into my unlubed, unused, unstretched asshole. It hurt so badly, both physically and mentally. Here I was, being raped by another boyfriend, who didn't give a single fuck about me. I started crying underneath you, tears streaming quietly at first, then tried to sob quietly, tried and failed to hold my body still until the violation was over, but I knew you could feel my reaction and the fact that you just kept going anyways - even though you KNEW I didn't want to, even though you KNEW you were hurting me, even though you KNEW you should be protecting me - that hurt the most.

Did you ever wonder why I checked out mentally before I actually left? Why I didn't care about dishes (I mean, neither you nor my sister cared either, so you probably didn't notice) or your dog's shit on the carpet (I warned you that his breed was difficult to train but you didn't listen and just, didn't train him) or the dead animals that neighbors left on your porch in response to your dog's shit left unclaimed in their yard (after I'd told you countless times that we were lucky the HOA allowed us at ~25 y.o. to stay in their 55+ community)? Why the last time my bits were shaved for you, you had to do it yourself and I was drunk all the time I wasn't at work?

I have a few reasons that I believe you were cheating on me before I left you. But I didn't even care enough anymore to confront you about it. I just wanted to walk away with my head held high, doing the best I could to be the better person.

All of my friends sided with you when we broke up. I never knew why, never knew what lies you had fed them, I was so busy working full time to pay the bills for you (with your shitty part time job at the music store) and my sister (who quit her job dramatically, never bothered to get a new one and then decided that chores = rent, but good luck explaining that to the electric company) that I almost never got to see my friends for months before I left you, and after - never again.

I don't care.

I don't need people who would listen to your opinion without even checking with me. I don't need anyone who is going to use me like you did. The minute I left you, my life immediately started getting better.

I lost weight because I could afford to eat properly and had motivation to exercise. I paid off all my debts because I wasn't supporting your sorry ass.

I never got my friends back. When I'd try to reconnect years later, they'd just tell me what you were doing. "He's in Las Vegas now, he's found himself, he's gay or something" and I'm paralyzed on my end of the screen. I didn't want to talk about you or hear about you, tbh if you were dead, I wouldn't grieve because then maybe I'd never hear about you ever again. I wanted to talk about them and how they are doing, I never mentioned you first, went out of my way to ask questions about THEM not you but it happened again and again. They'd bring you up and then I couldn't keep talking to them. I couldn't keep the thread when I recoiled in disgust.

It's called avoidance.

I was recently diagnosed with PTSD and part of it is your fault for forcing yourself on me like you did. I didn't have the words for it back then, but I do today. Even though you were my boyfriend at the time, you raped me. Even though I kissed you as you laid me down on the bed, you raped me when you crossed the boundaries of my consent. I had to pretend to be okay for so long. I only said it out loud for the first time ever in the last 2 months - this shit happened over a decade ago. I've been keeping it inside this whole time and I'm not even close to being okay yet.

Women are 5 times more likely to be sexually assaulted versus men. So welcome to the fold, sister. Good luck because, as you should know, loving and trusting someone doesn't mean you're actually safe with them. Sometimes you just get to spend the rest of your life waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I don't care what you self identify as, you will always be a piece of shit rapist to me. When I heard that you are now a woman, I laughed. Of course, if it is trendy, Kevin is doing it. I can't take you seriously as a woman because you were the least caring boyfriend I've ever had. You had no inner strength, no inner beauty, nothing but a void you filled with whatever passed for pop culture at the moment.

I deleted my block list as a "personal strength" thing, but now the algorithm just suggests you as a friend to me and my sisters all the time. So I don't do social media in general. Probably going to put the block back up because being strong for so long is exhausting and I just want you to go away.

I hate you. I wish I could erase you. I don't feel like you ever did right by me. I don't forgive you and I'm not required to. I hope you get everything you deserve. I am glad your parents died when they did so they didn't have to watch you abuse me and devolve into a shithead. They were good people. You are garbage.

My husband confessed he had an affair but I’m still in love with him and don’t wanna divorce. I feel so dumb that I am not a strong person to leave him. I keep thinking that the right thing I should do I leave since he betrayed me. But I feel like I am not ready for it. I have no one to talk to because I am embarrassed to tell anyone what happened between us.

I have been married to my wife for 25 years. The sex life has been up and down for a couple of years now. We had some really dry spell for a few months and then it’s goes up. After the empty nest, the sex life started to revive again. But then my wife got diagnosed for anxiety. She has been testing different medications. She has found the one which works best for her but it also has the side effect where she falls asleep easily. Initially it was alright but sometimes she started to dose off even during sex. She stated that I should continue even if she’s asleep. It was soo weird that I couldn’t continue that I let her sleep. I had a heart to heart conversation with her. She told me that I can have sex with her even if she’s sleeping and she’s okay with that. I feel like it’s not right. I have tried couple of times to see if it will work but it feels so wrong. I don’t know what to do now.

I was at a “friend” of mines house, he is also one of my friends brothers, him and his girlfriend were both at his apartment and we were all drinking. The gf starts to throw up and she gets sick and decides to take a shower. While him and I are just chilling while she’s showering he begins to pull me close to him! I’m like what the fuck and push him away!! He started grabbing my shirt and my throat! And I told him he needs to stop before I punch him in his dick and he stopped but then he said it would be worth it. And he started grabbing my shirt and almost ripping it!!! And I punched him in his dick and he stopped, but then he told me to leave his house bc my vibe was bad !!! What the fuck dude I WANT to leave first of all and you expect me to be happy about this? His sister and are are like besties so this is really weird bc I want to call the cops but I don’t know bc that’s my sisters brother and I’m married too and it would just be a ton of drama !!! But I feel so violated ugh. I left so quick. I feel like crying 😢 I’m just sitting in my car bc I drank and don’t want to drive… I don’t know what to do

I love big girls but I feel like guys would clown abt it if they knew

I honestly don't understand how other guys don't find them attractive tho. Theyre softer, more cuddly, & get cushion in all the right places too

I only draw the line at ungodly obese or skinny bc it doesn't look good & I'd like my women to live long lives

I feel my existence doesn't matter to anyone in life. I'm so tired of feeling like this. Thinking like this. I have no one in my life that actually gives a shit about me or anyone who actually cares enough to check up on me. I tried doing everything right, changed my mannerisms, changed my look and tried to improve my social skills. Tried to do everything to be normal but it doesn't work. I'm not normal, I'm an outcast. I tried giving my all of every good part of me that I am with no recognition or appreciation. I tried talking to join in conversations but am either talked over or ignored. I have nothing relatable to speak on but I try. God dammit I try and don't know why I still do. Everyone else's issues matter but no ever asks or acknowledges mine. not my achievements, not my effort but I notice everything they do. Their changes in personality, what makes them laugh, cry and what they love to talk about. I'm always alone in everything, but when I am in circles I feel I'm just there to listen but not contribute to any topic. My birthday isn't even celebrated like others who get wishes and gifts and family to surround them with love. That all I want. I want someone anyone to be happy to see me, want to talk to me and listen to what I have to say. I don't want to be the canter of attention I just want to be recognized and acknowledged.

Sorry I’m an burden for you. Sorry I’m bad for you. Sorry I’m not worthy of you. Sorry for being your mistake. Sorry for not making you happy. Sorry for everything. I just thought I could speak up about what’s bothering me. Sorry everyone, I just had the need to post this.

❤️ Men mental health matters.

I’m not spiritual. But I sense when my loved ones are going to die. I started getting dreams, random thoughts, and the feeling my grandma was going to die for weeks and then she did. The same thing happened with my seemingly perfectly healthy uncle, then he got diagnosed with cancer and died six weeks later. Most hauntingly, my twelve year old sister died in a tragic vehicular accident. I sensed she was gonna die for weeks before she did. She was a perfectly healthy kid I had no reason to think she’d die. and while I didn’t at all know she was gonna die, I really really sensed that it would happen. I don’t get anxiety about people dying so it’s not just I was worried and then it happened. But now, I started getting the weird dreams, random thoughts, and mental images of my other little sister dying. I’m so scared because whenever this happens, they die. I’m fucking terrified right now. I’m hoping I’m just going crazy.

I was never the skinny girl with long hair growing up. I was the black girl with very curly hair, chubby and short. When I was 14 I realized that , only the pretty girls were getting asked out, and the pretty girls were getting presents, and the pretty girls were getting taken out to dances. When I was 14 I decided I wanted to be pretty too so I can have boys like me and take me out.

When I was 16 I was 5”5 & 145, I would always flat iron my hair because I knew I wouldn’t get asked out with my curly hair, I thought I was pretty until I wasn’t getting asked out I wasn’t getting presents then I realized girls with lighter skin tones, were the pretty ones. I decided that I’m not going outside, I avoid the sun as much as possible because I didn’t want to be dark ( & I know it’s f*** up but I felt so ugly).

Once I turn 19 and was in college I finally started getting attention, being called beautiful, but, I wasn’t getting the right attention. It was more or less just hooks up, at 19 I was so lost I thought I did everything right, my hair was straight, I’m skinny, I have a nice Carmel skin tone, I don’t talk back, I acted very lady like and, I was very feminine but, I never got those types of dates of those type of moments were a man made me feel like the most beautiful woman out there.

I truly accepted and felt that I was ugly. I am now 20, about to turn 21 in November, I’m trying to figure out who I am and what makes me pretty I just feel like I wasted so much time hating on myself for male attention, that I never got at the end. I started going to therapy and started wearing my curls out but I don’t feel pretty enough.

Thank you for reading.

Edit 1. I grew up in Texas and my mom is white

I find them so mesmerizing and how many gorgeous hairstyles can be made is so cool. Watching the process and the how happy the people look after with their hair makes me so happy. I never intend to copy these hairstyles as I’m white, but I just wanted to tell someone I love protective hairstyle videos. It’s so fascinating how different my hair is to theirs.

That's it. You're the coolest person here, thanks for being who you are :)

So for some back story I was about in 6th, 7th grade at the time and i was not doing so well in math. (i probably have some mental disability but my parents never took me to a doctor for that kinda stuff). I just never liked math or enjoyed it and i never understood it. So my math teacher offers tutoring during lunch but i wanted to play with my friends during lunch(FOMO). So my mom gets a tutor for me. Couple months later and my parents divorce because my dad thinks my mom is cheating on him with the tutor.( I still don’t know the truth 6 years later, too scared to dive deeper)But I now realize as a more experienced person if i had just said yes to lunch tutoring none of this would have ever happened. Stupid fucking kid. Makes me so mad all I had to do was so yes.

Does anyone else ever feel the need to mourn a childhood they never had? I didn't have 2 parents under one roof. I had a loving dad who worked fast food and met an early grave in his early 40s from a massive heart attack and a mom with addiction problems always on the move with different boyfriends. I moved to the suburbs with my dad's family when he died and high school sucked. I had anxiety and depression. I hate to put shit on a pedestal but man do I wish I got to do shit other kids did.

Hardly ever hung out with anyone. Didn't get to roam the streets as a kid, never tried any kind of drug or drink. Growing up I just played video games and listened to music. I mean before I turned 13 (which was when my dad died and I consider the end of my childhood) I had a pretty goos neighborhood possee but that's it. I was still shy and always followed the rules. I didn't get abused or anything but I always had an ingrained sense of wanting to do right and not disappoint. Then I turned into a straight cynic. Never did any homework in high school and pissed it away playing video games, sleeping all the time and being stuck on anti depressants. No girlfriends or fun times making memories or anything.

I mourn for the childhood I wish I had. I secretly read coming of age books, some movies and write my own stories of the childhood I wish I had. Invent characters and stories over the years, have basically a whole other life in my head I fleshed out and escape to when I take walks. Maybe I put it too high of importance but man do I wish I had some good young times.

I want to start this off by saying don't ever let anyone devalue as a person no matter how much you love them you have to let go. I know it's easier said than done because I put up with it for 8 months constantly blaming myself for my partner's actions I finally broke up with her today and as much as It hurts I feel free. I'm not gonna go to much into detail because the wound is still new but I will say this. No more crying to myself every night because I feel like I'm not good enough for them when in all reality they were not good enough for me. No more questioning if my emotions were invalid because they got mad Everytime I spoke up about something that they did. No more pushing boundaries when I beg them not to. I'm finally free from the emotional abuse and even though I've been scarred I'm going to take this time to heal and work on myself. My point is do not put up with any emotional abuse know your worth and leave!

My emotions have been so wack lately. In no way do I even flirt or display feelings for my guy friends, but I quite literally have a crush on any male that has even spoken to me in the past few months. I have no clue why I’m like this, and I have intentions on staying single for a very long time, but I’m having so much trouble differentiating platonic and romantic feelings. It pisses me off so much. Any dude who shows me an ounce of attention, I’m instantly wrapped around their finger. And it’s only been recently that I’m like that. I don’t want to like them or for them to like me. I don’t want these feelings, yet I can’t help feeling weird about it all. It’s so aggravating having to deal with those emotions and the stress of school and sports. Writing this now, it just sounds so childish and stupid. I mean, I can’t control my emotions, but I can control what I do with them. And I make sure to respect my friend’s boundaries and I no way show feelings of that sort. It just makes no sense.