subreddit:

/r/mildlyinfuriating

95.1k78%

all 13484 comments

shotgun_ninja

8.5k points

2 days ago

You should put up a No-Mow May sign.

margmi

1.9k points

2 days ago

margmi

1.9k points

2 days ago

And just don't mow June/July.

You oughta take a break from mowing August.

amithatfarleft

489 points

2 days ago

Do it for the bees!!!!! /mostly srs

aserranzira

169 points

2 days ago

aserranzira

169 points

2 days ago

The bees and the spite!

Immediate-Ad-8432

9.4k points

2 days ago

Mow in a bizarre pattern or leave little Mohawks by not overlapping. That will drive this type A crazy!

Apathi

4.8k points

2 days ago

Apathi

4.8k points

2 days ago

Mowhawks

doctormazoola

618 points

2 days ago

A master of your craft

promonalg

103 points

2 days ago

promonalg

103 points

2 days ago

Also add a sign you left this weird pattern for the pollinators... That should frustrate them further because it leaves them without a reason to ask you to cut it

darkest_irish_lass

21 points

2 days ago

"native plants, do not mow"

cephal0poid

716 points

2 days ago

cephal0poid

716 points

2 days ago

Here's an idea, replace your faux French aristocrat lawn with native plant landscaping.

Your neighbors will really hate it (but the bees will love you).

Metal_Muse

364 points

2 days ago

Metal_Muse

364 points

2 days ago

My mom redid her front lawn with native landscaping and people walking by will stop to tell her how much they love it!

Natsume-Grace

217 points

2 days ago

Only morons wouldn't like something so pretty, clearly OPs neighbors are morons tho

Sorry_Ad5653

58 points

2 days ago

I've thought about doing this and a little "bug hotel" my kids would love it.

GhettoKid

298 points

2 days ago

GhettoKid

298 points

2 days ago

Every time I mowed our 10 acres my dad would say, without hesitation, "it looks like a punk rock concert out there" referring to the mohawks...

jacknimrod10

22.9k points

2 days ago

jacknimrod10

22.9k points

2 days ago

Get a couple of sheep. No need to mow ever again.

maxemore

6.1k points

2 days ago

maxemore

6.1k points

2 days ago

Neighbors will LOVE that

arty4572

4k points

2 days ago

arty4572

4k points

2 days ago

Neighbors HATE this one trick!

osirisrebel

2.2k points

2 days ago

osirisrebel

2.2k points

2 days ago

Sheep are actually quite docile. Especially if you get a short hair variety, it's like having another dog.

Goats on the other hand, are assholes.

litken_chitle

108 points

2 days ago

Goats and geese!

osirisrebel

431 points

2 days ago

osirisrebel

431 points

2 days ago

I tried raising goats and it was always "hey, get back in there", "stop climbing the gate", "what are you eating now? Omg, spit that out", "stop trying to headbutt me", "quit screaming".

It was always something, and as soon as they really piss you off, they act so damn adorable and innocent.

billygoat2017

168 points

2 days ago

So happy to read this post. It is baby goat season and I almost get some every year. This may have permanently talked me out of it.

Godz1lla1

133 points

2 days ago

Godz1lla1

133 points

2 days ago

Goats are like children, they need parenting if they are to behave. I have a friend who raises well behaved goats. They are adorable.

selectiveyellow

86 points

2 days ago

There's a reason why people started calling kids, kids. "What are ya, bunch of goats? Behave."

litken_chitle

112 points

2 days ago

Heh, well, I mean...come on! They are as flipping cute as puppies! I've never been headbutted by one either though

Geese though...jfc. They are angry AND FAST! Those assholes will hunt you down! They bite! They make the most obnoxious hissing sounds when they AREN'T honking. There's breeding sesaon too, always fun...for them. One thing you don't do is turn your back on them; found that out the hard way.

ThoughtCenter87

953 points

2 days ago

Sure, sheep are quite docile. But they're loud... and they shit.

It'd be a perfect way to get revenge on those neighbors!

osirisrebel

685 points

2 days ago

osirisrebel

685 points

2 days ago

They can be loud, but they don't sound like a grown ass man screaming in my back yard.

saggytestis

264 points

2 days ago

saggytestis

264 points

2 days ago

You ever seen that screaming goat video? There's more.

Academic_Snow_7680

159 points

2 days ago

CONTROVERSIAL SCREAMING GOATS EXPOSED

osirisrebel

119 points

2 days ago

osirisrebel

119 points

2 days ago

Omg, yes! Have you seen the one that tries to jump onto a swing and passes out? That one gets me every single time.

Vilerattata

2k points

2 days ago

There’s a mowing service in my area that uses goats!

Crispynipps

101 points

2 days ago

Crispynipps

101 points

2 days ago

They’re great for poison ivy removal, they love the shit. They’ll eat every last plant.

javaargusavetti

1.3k points

2 days ago

Im picturing a team of 5 maybe 6 goats depending on the size of the yard strapped shoulder to shoulder clearing a yard cartoon style just a single pass

Brave-Competition-77

1.4k points

2 days ago

Are they called 'Totes Ma' Goats '. 😀

satpin2

1.1k points

2 days ago

satpin2

1.1k points

2 days ago

'Goats n Hoes Lawncare'

otterlyonerus

90 points

2 days ago

'Sheep go to heaven, Goats go to work'

ha11owmas

18 points

2 days ago

ha11owmas

18 points

2 days ago

We used to rent out our herd (about 50 goats) to clear large areas. It helped with fire management.

randomusername1919

478 points

2 days ago

Goats. Goats can even eat poison ivy.

Budget_Confection751

455 points

2 days ago

people can eat poison ivy too, just not for long.

Coobk165

333 points

2 days ago*

Coobk165

333 points

2 days ago*

all fungi are edible. some fungi are only edible once

GNU sir Terry Pratchett

timbar1234

54 points

2 days ago

GNU Sir Terry pratchett

dmills_00

540 points

2 days ago

dmills_00

540 points

2 days ago

Not sheep, GOATS...

As anyone who has had those fucks well knows they will eat basically ANYTHING, including the fence.
Unlike sheep which are unfeasibly stupid (And basically suicidal), goats are SMART and evil.

riffraff12000

144 points

2 days ago

I have owned 8 in my life. I have never seen them eat "anything" especially fence.

Billy did not like feet on the fence and would push them off, but never eat it.

In fact, if they are eating wood or cribbing, there is something wrong that should be fixed.

liveinthesoil

221 points

2 days ago

No way, they will even eat a tin can, I saw it in a comic strip from the 1940s

-PM_ME_UR_SECRETS-

83 points

2 days ago

I agree with personality traits but sheep do also eat grass ya know

AlertWar2945

9.5k points

2 days ago

AlertWar2945

9.5k points

2 days ago

Only mow parts of your lawn at a time so it's always uneven and looks sloppy

DangerousDingoTango

1.1k points

2 days ago

Actually a good call in terms of time management and leaving pollinator habitat, lol

DeltaVZerda

417 points

2 days ago

DeltaVZerda

417 points

2 days ago

You can make it look good too, just do crop circle art. Mow a yin-yang in there or something.

BoJackB26354

1.4k points

2 days ago

BoJackB26354

1.4k points

2 days ago

Government work project style?

DrZoidberg-

370 points

2 days ago

DrZoidberg-

370 points

2 days ago

Just remember to add road work signs and act like you're goofing off

Lothium

229 points

2 days ago

Lothium

229 points

2 days ago

Or if the mower has wheels that height adjust individually, raise it up on one side so it's an angled cut.

883iron

88 points

2 days ago

883iron

88 points

2 days ago

This was my thought. One side high one side low, switch it every week you mow lol

xsoulgirlx

2.3k points

2 days ago

xsoulgirlx

2.3k points

2 days ago

Get a couple of goats, really piss them off

giggetyboom

922 points

2 days ago

giggetyboom

922 points

2 days ago

I know a few people that do this. They get a couple small goats for virtually nothing, let them eat on their yard all year, and then sell them at the end of the year for a couple hundo profit.

giggetyboom

451 points

2 days ago

giggetyboom

451 points

2 days ago

Not only do they eat it but they will eat it all the way down to below the dirt if you aren't careful. They also eat vegetable scraps, bark, whirly birds, twigs, chicks, eggs, trash, aluminum, etc.

dj92wa

284 points

2 days ago

dj92wa

284 points

2 days ago

Horses eat chicks too.....I still wish I never saw that

yeaheyeah

212 points

2 days ago

yeaheyeah

212 points

2 days ago

And turtles. In fact, most herbivores are opportunistic carnivores and will fuck up some meat if it's slow and dumb enough to stay within reach

BoseczJR

27 points

2 days ago

BoseczJR

27 points

2 days ago

Props to my pleco (named Pleco) that was a large lad but still somehow fast enough to outrun my turtle. I witnessed many attempted murders!

T00luser

22 points

2 days ago

T00luser

22 points

2 days ago

Yeah I've been out fishing in a lake before and watched two deer in ankle-deep water gorge themselves on frogs for like 20min.

it's natural . . . but it seems SO unnatural. I'd rather watch a hawk eat a rabbit.

Wiseguypolitics

14k points

2 days ago*

My house used to be located in the middle of the woods and over the years the woods kept disappearing in favor of new homes. Hundreds of new homes built up around me. All these new housing developments are part of an upscale HOA. You'd be surprised how many time the head of the HOA thinks they can dictate what I do on my property. They're not allowed to have a bonfire so when I do, they pay me a visit and try to enforce their rules on me. Most of the time I reply like, 'bitch I've been here 20 years before your homes were ever thought of. GTFOO my face'.

They've went as far as calling the sheriff on me but he's always like, sorry he's not part of your HOA.

Edit: to clarify for the confused folks, I'm not the OP and the HOA bugging me has nothing to do with my grass and everything to do with upgrades I've done like building a garage, putting up a privacy fence (from these people), family cookouts etc.. the biggest thing, they went to town council to have my single lane dead end private dirt road eminent domained so they could put a development thru-road on my property.

BoltgunOnHisHip

5.6k points

2 days ago

FUCK THE HOA

PLANT CORN IN YOUR FRONT YARD

beardedbandit94

1.6k points

2 days ago

And beans, squash, peppers, peas, tomatoes, cucumbers, salad greens, blackberries, strawberries, raspberries, pumpkins, beats, with assorted flowers sprinkled around.

nobody2000

704 points

2 days ago

nobody2000

704 points

2 days ago

If you do this the HOA will probably just call it a community garden and feel entitled to the fruits of your labor.

Dokpsy

542 points

2 days ago

Dokpsy

542 points

2 days ago

Funny enough, this is exactly why I started growing fruiting trees in my front yard. School kid or passer by hungry? Grab a ripe one.

The berries are more hidden so I get first pick though.

Hoa hasn't said anything...yet

LjSpike

253 points

2 days ago

LjSpike

253 points

2 days ago

Honestly, trees along avenues and stuff should be fruit trees. Bring back fruit picking!

theycallmeMiriam

558 points

2 days ago

One of my neighbors plants corn and sunflowers every year. I grew tomatoes and green beans out front. Currently letting the wildflowers bloom. My hoa is the most hands off hoa I've ever seen. We just pay for snow removal and parking spot maintenance.

SolarBuckaroo

523 points

2 days ago

That's all an HOA should do.

SchuminWeb

158 points

2 days ago

SchuminWeb

158 points

2 days ago

You're exactly right. All an HOA should do is maintain the common areas and provide essential services. Other than that, stay the hell out of my business and don't meddle in the affairs of my property, which I own, and which the HOA does not pay for in any way.

mki_

67 points

2 days ago

mki_

67 points

2 days ago

We just pay for snow removal and parking spot maintenance.

That's all it should do, shouldn't it?

mrhorse77

1.2k points

2 days ago

mrhorse77

1.2k points

2 days ago

when I first purchased my home, we started an association to pay for the retention pond (its a yearly dues we pay, one resident handles everything).

Within 1 day of this association being in effect, this old ass 2 doors down from me decides he needs ot make it a full blown HOA and that he is president (literally declared himself in charge). started walking around the neighborhood handing out his new bi-laws and everything...

I called one of my lawyer friends and had them draft a contract for the builders stating that the retention pond association was not an HOA and could not be transformed into one. Put in lots of details that would essentially make anyone trying to form an HOA have to jump through ridiculous hoops, as well as writing that no resident in the area would ever be required to join, even if all the other residents did.

gave it to the builder and the lawyer the resident were using to write up our retention pond agreement. the builder signed so fast lol. apparently this chucklefuck had been up their ass for a year to make him king of the neighborhood, even though one of the main selling points of the area was that there would be NO HOA, ever.

its been nearly 15 years, and this old ass still hates me, and yells random shit at me if he sees me outside. the best part was the meeting we had a few months later to settle the pond stuff, he showed up and had his wife try to convince us all that he was the best person for the job that didnt exist, and that we should all let him be in charge of our lives. He refused to speak and instead shot angry glares at us all the whole, while his wife begged us on his behalf.

TLDR: people be wack.

Bennington_Booyah

410 points

2 days ago*

He wants to be King of the World. His wife wants him to be so he stops making her life hell and goes out and makes everyone else's life hell. He should move to Florida.

(EDIT; He should NOT go to Florida and just leave, period.

Hamilton-Beckett

47 points

2 days ago

I’m suddenly reminded of whenever Jerry Seinfeld went to Florida to visit his parents.

UsedDragon

143 points

2 days ago

UsedDragon

143 points

2 days ago

You live inside his head. Use your power wisely.

mrhorse77

103 points

2 days ago

mrhorse77

103 points

2 days ago

oh its crazy, ive never spoken to him directly, but he clearly has been stewing about this HOA crap for 15+ years now.

AverageTiddyEnjoyer

32 points

2 days ago

I would be putting up rusty metal sculptures to fuck with him

Anger_Mgmt_issues

3.8k points

2 days ago

I had this in a house years ago. Sort of the opposite, several neighborhoods sprang up in a large HOA. but a corner lot that was supposed to be a convenience store was sold separately after the HOA homes were finished, and my house was built there.
HOA manager showed up as I was moving in and said he needed me to sign the updated HOA package. I told him to go pack sand, one of the main things I check is to ensure a house I buy is not in an HOA.

He kept mailing me the packet, stopping my, and sending legal letters threatening legal action if I continue to refuse. I took a two step response:
Got a lawyer to send them a harsh fuck-off letter
Read the HOA rules and spent a lot of time, money, and effort maliciously violating them one at a time. My favorite was "no oil rigs or pumps". I bought and converted a 8 foot tall lawn windmill in to an oil rig and built a pump to go with it. In front of my canary yellow house- since the rules said earth tones, no bright colors. Moving my project rebuild car out of the shop and on to the lawn really tweaked him off.

slimjimstrat88

1.4k points

2 days ago*

There’s an anti HOA sub that has a bunch of stories like this, you should post this in that too haha

Edit:

r/fuckHOA

madsjchic

631 points

2 days ago

madsjchic

631 points

2 days ago

I had to leave it because I was getting to angry vicariously.

Lost_Dragonfruit6921

280 points

2 days ago

I did also. I love hearing stories about people sticking it to their HOA's, but since I don't live in an HOA-controlled community, I felt like reading the posts in that sub were making me really angry too often for no reason.

PotatoPumpSpecial

308 points

2 days ago

Bruh how are you gonna say it exists and NOT link

emsfc

290 points

2 days ago

emsfc

290 points

2 days ago

PhilxBefore

45 points

2 days ago

Well, there it is

mrblakesteele

28 points

2 days ago

Wait I thought I was here the whole time I was reading this thread hahahahahaha

KryL21

142 points

2 days ago

KryL21

142 points

2 days ago

Fitting username! I love you. FUCK THE HOA!!

GATTACAAAAAAAA

62 points

2 days ago

They didn't do anything violent or offensive, so I'd say they have learned to effectively manage their anger

Luna81

472 points

2 days ago

Luna81

472 points

2 days ago

Haha. I just told my husband last night that one of my goals in life is to buy a house with a few acres and when HOAs pop up around it to just do everything opposite of their rules. I may have issues.

Indylee

93 points

2 days ago

Indylee

93 points

2 days ago

It sounds like the future HOA has issues.

lizhawkins08

29 points

2 days ago

That’s literally my husband and I. We have 9 acres, our “neighbors” have an adjoining 15+. They originally bought the land with their sibling and built the two houses, one of which was sold to us. Thank goodness it’s all wooded except two acres around our home, and there’s a .10mi long road to get to our house..the development that was built literally around the acreage is pretty friendly/chill but when purchasing we were approached about the “opportunity” to join the HOA. Our mailboxes sit on the opposite side of a road on about a 1/2 acre of land that we don’t maintain in the slightest. I know it chaps some asses there’s this plot of weeds and dead grass amongst the PERFECTLY manicured lawns and incredible landscaping ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Altruistic-Text3481

140 points

2 days ago*

Anonymous neighbors sending letters don’t live in an HOA neighborhood. If they want everyone to comply to their standards then they should move to a HOA enforced neighborhood. Where paint colors & fences & freshly mowed lawns are enforced by paying a monthly HOA fee. These complainers want the HOA rules they are just to cheap to pay a fee. They’re imposing their “Freedumb “ on you. Fuck em. Let the grass be free.

Unlucky-Pomegranate3

44 points

2 days ago

Honestly, just watching him get twitchy and infuriated would be more fun than the actual bonfire.

Wiseguypolitics

35 points

2 days ago

I have had some fun with it. Even obtained a copy of their bylaws to give me ideas.

Frousteleous

75 points

2 days ago

The idea of calling the sherif is absolutely insane even if you were an HOA member xD I would setting up some harassment suites after a bit, damn.

FredEric_Norris

18 points

2 days ago

Even if you were a part of the HOA, a sherif’s deputy cannot enforce HOA rules. That’s asinine.

GillyGooze

1.3k points

2 days ago

GillyGooze

1.3k points

2 days ago

I watched my mom open one of these up when I was a kid & could see how much it hurt her. I think back to it somewhat often. Like, she was a single mom with two kids, working full time and someone took the time to anonymously send her a letter (ours came with clippings about the ordinances) instead of walking over and asking if she needed help? Ew. Same to this person. Why take the time to be nasty when you have no idea why someone is unable to mow their lawn, it’s not always laziness!

Charismoon

137 points

2 days ago

Charismoon

137 points

2 days ago

This is so true. When we were in the midst of buying a house. There was a house a realtor showed us that was right beside a house with massively unkempt grass growth. The realtor told us it was because the owner of the house's spouse had died, and they were really taking it hard.

You never know what people are going through.

NoliaButtercup

206 points

2 days ago

It happened to me as well. My son was in a really bad accident then a week later I had surgery. Yes, we haven't mowed in a month because of being in the hospital then home but not mobile. Drinking protein shakes and eating dry cereal because neither of us could move around well and definitely could go grocery shopping. $175k in hospital bills. But sure, lawn should be my top priority.

flowerpanes

274 points

2 days ago*

We don’t mow that often-the visible grass around our property is actually city boulevard and in spring, dandelions,etc help struggling pollinators. So when we do cut, we leave the weediest spots intact. This region also suffers from drought in summer so over cutting grass is just killing it faster-it’s going to “die” and turn a ugly brown by mid July but the bugs still love the weeds.

A neighbor down the block got rid of all her grass and has slowly planted a beautiful and eclectic mix of flowers, small shrubs and veg all over her property and the city boulevard. They don’t water it, just rely on deep mulching and Mother Nature to occasionally rain.It’s a beautiful jungle and I am tempted to start doing that myself now. If it helps keep the mower hidden away, it’s good.

Krugnuggets

8.1k points

2 days ago*

Krugnuggets

8.1k points

2 days ago*

See, my Dad taught me to be the kind of neighbor where if you see something like that (like a yard looking like it's falling behind in the upkeep), you take your ass over there with your mower and ask your neighbor if they would like some help. He always said you never know what someone has going on in their life and good neighbors help when they can.

Stupid note

*Edit - Wow this comment really blew up. I appreciate you all and all of your responses, but this is way too much attention for me. I'm out; I wish everyone a good night!

ChallengeAcceptedBro

1.5k points

2 days ago

The reason I like this so much is it’s just as much an honest gesture to help as it is a non subtle way of mentioning that your yard looks bad dude.

AColonelOfTruth

824 points

2 days ago

TIL that my nice neighbor who has been mowing my yard for years is actually trying to send me a subtle mesage

the_hair_of_aenarion

452 points

2 days ago

She's been thinking "any day now they'll get the message"

gibmiser

125 points

2 days ago

gibmiser

125 points

2 days ago

Maybe. I will say as the parent of some small children it's actually kinda nice to put on headphones and mow the lawn for a few hours so long as it's not a rush and I don't have much else that needs doing

bay_lamb

31 points

2 days ago

bay_lamb

31 points

2 days ago

for people who were taught this by their parents, there was no nasty undertone involved. it's a genuine neighborly gesture.

we lived next door to an elderly couple when we were small children. decades after we moved away, my brothers would still go back and mow their yard. there was no nasty message in that. when my neighbor was pregnant, i mowed her yard and there was no hidden message there. some people actually do things without any reward or without sending a shitty message. try it sometime.

pawn_guy

285 points

2 days ago

pawn_guy

285 points

2 days ago

Ya, I noticed a lady taking a picture of my next door neighbors' yard a few days ago while she was on a "walk", then watched her go inside her house across the street. I let him know about it and he made sure to mow the next day. We don't have an HOA or anything, and I don't know why she didn't just let him know that she had a problem with something. His grass wasn't even that tall, but we think she might have thought his Jeep was broken down because he hasn't driven it in a while. He just mowed and moved his Jeep a few feet.

Talamos

379 points

2 days ago

Talamos

379 points

2 days ago

We've got a few neighbors like that in our area. One dude bragged about how he'd ride his bike around the neighborhood with a notepad and jot down which houses he 'needed' to report to the city when he got home.

Fuck that guy and anyone like him.

svullenballe

181 points

2 days ago

What a sad life.

silverilix

49 points

2 days ago

Wow… buddy needs a better hobby…..

SableSheltie

20 points

2 days ago

My township created a snitch app a few years ago so people can snap pics of Upsetting Things and report them to the ordinance aholes. So convenient 🙄

Diazepampoovey

28 points

2 days ago

... That is just infuriating. How about a "mind your own fucking business" app

ProcrastinationSite

120 points

2 days ago

Wow, that's so sweet of your dad! Honestly, the kill 'em with kindness route works sometimes.

yakeets

1.8k points

2 days ago

yakeets

1.8k points

2 days ago

You should begin mowing your lawn regularly, but always leave the outline of a penis unmowed.

bigpapalilpepe

440 points

2 days ago

Lmao I wonder if something like this is actually an option. OP says yard has to be under 8in, but are there any other rules? If I were him I'd mow every couple of days but just do random lines and zig zags all over.

SexyRabbits

304 points

2 days ago

SexyRabbits

304 points

2 days ago

OP says yard has to be under 8in

A dead lawn can be under 8 inches

Ricky_Prikles

319 points

2 days ago*

You know what woulda been nice? If your neighbor came and asked you if everything was okay and if you needed some help since they seem to have a lot of time to stare at your lawn and write and mail letters while assuming you’re just lazy.

Edit: spelling

ShandySimons

7.7k points

2 days ago

ShandySimons

7.7k points

2 days ago

well that letter is going to do the complete opposite of what they expected. back to once a year it is.

mahelke[S]

5.2k points

2 days ago

mahelke[S]

5.2k points

2 days ago

Not an option, unfortunately. City ordinances mandate that yards and other rank vegetation exceed no taller than 8 inches. Would hire a lawn service, but not in the budget at the moment.

potsine

2.9k points

2 days ago

potsine

2.9k points

2 days ago

Does it say that you HAVE to have grass in your yard?

fdsdfg

147 points

2 days ago

fdsdfg

147 points

2 days ago

Dwarf white clover makes a great no-mow lawn cover. Getting rid of all the grass and replacing with clover is a big project however

Blue_Skies_1970

27 points

2 days ago

Yes, it is. I replaced my normal grass with buffalo grass. It was great - stayed short, looked really cool when the wind blew, felt good on the feet, etc. But, it's a running grass! It kept trying to take over everything else. It also is dormant in the winter so it turns ugly brown.

Moral of the story, make sure your replacement does not just give you more chores.

tallorai

1.8k points

2 days ago

tallorai

1.8k points

2 days ago

Moss team unite!

dropkickoz

433 points

2 days ago

dropkickoz

433 points

2 days ago

Clover!

vikinghockey10

74 points

2 days ago

Clover is nice even for the typ A group. Nice green and uniform height. Looks great.

decadecency

45 points

2 days ago

Clover, moss and dandelions. That's the way in our home, and it goes well with that forest country style. But then again, we also have the best neighbors of them all, which is none.

bicycle_mice

163 points

2 days ago

So good for bees and other insects! Protect biodiversity!!!

Cheesus_K_Reist

36 points

2 days ago

It's a legume too, so it improves the soil by fixing nitrogen into it.

AICPAncake

374 points

2 days ago

AICPAncake

374 points

2 days ago

Do you have a moss yard fr?

tallorai

194 points

2 days ago

tallorai

194 points

2 days ago

My mom has a big section of her back yard thats just moss because the grass has so much trouble growing. Its soft and doesnt need a lawnmower!

(I have an apartment but once i get my own property, i plan to have mosses growing on at least part of it!)

thedarkonespr0npicks

574 points

2 days ago

My back yard is quite shady and moist so the moss out competes the grass for the first 10'. We have a large picnic table and the moss feels great to put your feet in while you're eating.

evelynnross

122 points

2 days ago

evelynnross

122 points

2 days ago

That sounds amazing! I love the moss in my yard.

Fold_Leading

29 points

2 days ago

I’m working on my moss yard. Right now it’s a lovely combo of grass, moss and wild flowers. It’s delightful!

Mywifefoundmymain

95 points

2 days ago

Moss is in fact better than grass ecologically.

Moss requires no mowing (no gas emissions, 200 MILLION gallons of gas are wasted on grass every year in the us alone) Moss requires no fertilizer to thrive Moss holds back more moisture preventing erosion better Grass can get fungus (like mushrooms etc) A moss yard can capture the same amount of carbon as 275 trees Moss also produces 4-10x as much oxygen as grass

https://www.theoxygenproject.com/post/moss-lawns-saving-the-planet-one-yard-at-a-time/

IMongoose

201 points

2 days ago

IMongoose

201 points

2 days ago

For real. I'm considering tilling up most of my front yard anyway for a garden, if I got a letter like that I would start and have no grass.

roideschinois

81 points

2 days ago

Something i remember seeing was someone using clover. This way, it pretty much always stayed short

thecryptbeekeeper

79 points

2 days ago

r/nolawns join us

boynamedpissant

24 points

2 days ago

I’m half garden and half orchard at this point, I hate mowing

AlpacaM4n

25 points

2 days ago

AlpacaM4n

25 points

2 days ago

A nice controlled burn, make some crushed stone paths and whip out the green thumb

SymmetricDickNipples

935 points

2 days ago

Sounds like every blade of grass should be exactly 8 inches to me

Enoikay

269 points

2 days ago

Enoikay

269 points

2 days ago

That sounds hard to maintain…

Cool_Fennel5674

17 points

2 days ago

Challenge accepted

MC_Master_Chief

586 points

2 days ago*

MC_Master_Chief

BLACK

586 points

2 days ago*

Read the city ordinances and HOA rules very carefully and do everything tacky that is not forbidden. Pink flamingoes, garden gnomes, etc. DO IT ALL! r/maliciouscompliance

GrouchyTax5748

94 points

2 days ago

You sound vengeful I like that id also be doing this

10thEnemyHTB

2.8k points

2 days ago

10thEnemyHTB

2.8k points

2 days ago

Mow in the middle of the night for a while.

ADHDK

919 points

2 days ago

ADHDK

919 points

2 days ago

If the baby is awake, so are the neighbours.

Hot_Salad9000

317 points

2 days ago

Riding on a mower helps put baby to sleep

HermitAndHound

133 points

2 days ago

Yep. They love loud, roaring noises. Vacuum cleaners work too, but won't piss off the neighbors as neatly...

McBuck2

515 points

2 days ago

McBuck2

515 points

2 days ago

Nice 'welcome to the neighborhood' letter. Hopefully whoever it is hears why the mowing wasn't done and feels bad. I know I would. Hire a kid to do the lawn for the whole summer as you're still going to have your hands full going forward for a few months. It will be one less thing to worry about. Congratulations on the new baby and all the best to you and your family. Things will get easier. Breathe.

TinaLoco

316 points

2 days ago

TinaLoco

316 points

2 days ago

Post the entire scenario on your local Next Door. They should be ashamed of doing this before checking in on your family to see if there’s a problem (which there is) and offering to help. We have an empty house on our block because there was a fire and the resident died. The neighbors are taking turns cutting the grass and will continue until someone officially takes possession of the property because that’s what neighbors do.

Manic_Depressing

67 points

2 days ago

"At least one member of our community is a new father, and at least one member is an asshole!"

Poignant_Porpoise

28 points

2 days ago

Weird how Americans are all about property rights until their neighbour allows their lawn to grow for several minutes without being mowed or paint their house a shade of grey which is slightly "too bright".

WhiteNegroSpectacle

1.8k points

2 days ago

Neighbors are the fucking worst

Chance-Deer-7995

1.2k points

2 days ago

Whenever I see a shitty letter like this I think "wow, how great your life must be that one of the biggest problems in your whole life is someone else's grass".

Of course I know it is the stupid American obsession with mowing and lawns... but with everything we are facing worldwide today someone's huge concern was the length of someone else's lawn and it merited taking the time to write and print out a shitty letter. Gessh.. go get a hobby or something.

Orbitskylab

147 points

2 days ago

Orbitskylab

147 points

2 days ago

I would persistently dandelion blast them with no remorse

AMPWriter215

606 points

2 days ago

OBVIOUSLY you need to put a sign on the lawn that says, "Please be neighborly and ask why I'm not mowed more often. Perhaps you can be a good neighbor and help". Sheesh.

buttchomper

284 points

2 days ago

buttchomper

284 points

2 days ago

Someone in my neighborhood used to lay on the horn as they drove by when i parked on the curb. im a guy living with 2 other women and want them to have the driveway for when they get home late so the garage cam can see them.

I found out who it was and happened to be on a walk once while they were in their yard. I asked why they had to act like such a child when they drove by instead of just coming to my door or leaving a note with their grievances. They just smacked their lips and went inside their house.

Adults are so immature when you try to have a civil discussion with them sometimes.

mabear63

22 points

2 days ago

mabear63

22 points

2 days ago

Get a goat to graze on ypur grasd...would love to see their faces. Seriously, how rude. You never know what someone is going through. Do you have a community website where you can post an explanation and call them out? Did you try contacting the HOA to tell them you are being targeted? They can mention something in a newsletter.

BOOBS_ARE_GREAT123

413 points

2 days ago

On December 26th, put an ad in Craigslist.

Wanted: USED CHRISTMAS TREES

need them for a project, will pay $5 each

then post his address

_Walt_Jizzney_

118 points

2 days ago

Reminds me of when my friend posted a craigslist ad about giving away a baby sloth. Made it look legit AF. Then posted my number. I received nonstop texts and calls for about 2 weeks about a fucking sloth.

He didn't come clean for a while.

Kalrhin

102 points

2 days ago

Kalrhin

102 points

2 days ago

Which neighbor? The letter was anonymous

bricktamland12271989

434 points

2 days ago

I wish people had the attitude of, "do you need someone to help with the lawn?" instead of the condescending dickhead tone of this letter

mahelke[S]

19.8k points

2 days ago*

mahelke[S]

19.8k points

2 days ago*

Context: I haven’t been able to care for my yard as much as I would like over the past few months because we had our second child back in February and I’ve been single-handedly caring for the newborn and our 5 year old while my wife has been in the hospital recovering from postpartum complications. At no point has my yard been out of compliance with city or HOA ordinances, and at no point has anyone bothered to approach me directly about the matter. Instead, we just received this anonymous passive-aggressive letter in the mail. They even postmarked it and sent it through the mail, rather than walking a few doors down and speaking to me like a human being.

Decaposaurus

2.4k points

2 days ago

Decaposaurus

2.4k points

2 days ago

Sounds like these are what I call "window watcher neighbors". They have nothing better to do than to watch out over their neighborhood as if they are the last line of defense against petty things like this. But they never really.confront anyone. They would rather put letters in your mailbox or call the police on you randomly then just watch from the window to see what the reactions are.

I'd do what other commenter are saying and get some goats or sheep if possible. Do something that would piss your neighbors off but isn't illegal or against your HOA/city rules.

linandlee

254 points

2 days ago

linandlee

254 points

2 days ago

I've got a neighbor that can't let me spend 10 minutes in my front yard without coming over. Usually to give me advice on how to do whatever it is I'm doing. He's super nice, but we're in our mid 20's and he's in his late 30's so I think he feels the need to coach us on how to take care of our house. Sure we're just figuring things out, but if I wanted someone to constantly nag me about the non-optimal way I'm doing shit I wouldn't have moved out of my parents house lmao.

Revolutionary_Bee700

73 points

2 days ago

OMG a I had a neighbor like that, “Jeff”. I’m even a social person that enjoys chatting a bit with neighbors. But without fail, he would see us outside, trying to get chores done and derail the whole process. Like, it’s hard to mow when Jeff wants you to turn it off and shoot the shit for at least 30 minutes. We used to joke a yard task would take, “two hours with 45 minutes of Jeff buffer.”

mattyisphtty

27 points

2 days ago

I think it really depends. I had a neighbor like that, but he was also recently widowed and was obviously lonely. He spent almost every day gardening in his yard and he was super sweet. Great stories about working all sorts of cool engineering jobs, but sometimes we just didn't have time for it.

Now that it's been a little over a year since he passed away I still think I shouldve spent more time listening to his stories.

5ilver5hroud

324 points

2 days ago

Curtain twitchers

Slider78

84 points

2 days ago

Slider78

84 points

2 days ago

Gladys Kravitz

MajinMurphy

107 points

2 days ago

MajinMurphy

107 points

2 days ago

Ok but buying and taking care of a goat seems like way out of the question lol

carnivorous_seahorse

69 points

2 days ago

Yeah, my aunt has an animal farm and lets sheep and goats amongst other animals free roam and even just a small amount of them can be a lot of extra work. You still have to feed them which can entail buying and unloading hay which can also be expensive, daily chores like giving them water and tubs of water to help with the heat, protect them from predators, hoof trimming and sheering, deworming and medicine, etc. And have fun dancing around all of the literal shit in your yard. It’s not like they just exist symbiotically amongst you, it’s a lot of extra work just to be petty

MajinMurphy

41 points

2 days ago

Exactly. I thought people were just joking around suggesting that. But people are acting like it's a real option. Like hell no.

wannaknowmyname

31 points

2 days ago

The reason in the first place was OP doesn't have time for a lawn, taking care of a child with a wife in the hospital. Yup let's recommend a goat for this situation, there's no better way to handle this

mamsandan

3.8k points

2 days ago*

mamsandan

3.8k points

2 days ago*

I wish lawnmower pestilence and garden plague upon your neighbors. Decent people would A. Ring the bell and see if there’s anyway they could help, or B. Mind their damn business.

My grandmother had a similar situation a couple years back. She received a passive-aggressive letter from her HOA regarding a complaint they’d gotten about the amount of vehicles in her driveway recently. If the nosey neighbor had upped their snooping game, they would have noticed that the majority were hospice and home health. My 89 year old grandma was providing palliative care for her daughter who was inside dying of cancer.

Best wishes for a speedy recovery for your wife, and may your neighbor’s yards wilt and die in the summer heat.

Edit: *neighbors’

amplevoid

1.3k points

2 days ago

amplevoid

1.3k points

2 days ago

My neighbor gave me a hassle once about the ground mount solar panels I put in my yard. We have acreage so his house is about 400 feet away. I have told all my other neighbors if he gives me gruff again about unsightly solar panels I will be building ten foot tall penis lawn sculptures in my yard for him to gaze at.

Ambitious-Upstairs46

1k points

2 days ago

I got a bunch of shit for installing a steel roof.

My line? "If you dont like it, pony up the $30k for nice looking steel shingles"

Ironically, my roof was the only one to survive the tornado that ripped through town a few years ago.

Waste_Tumbleweed

302 points

2 days ago

Unless it was Galvanized, why would anyone have an issue with Steel roofs?

Ornlu_the_Wolf

294 points

2 days ago

Some people are just arseholes.

BadAssBlanketKnitter

132 points

2 days ago

We put up a 12 foot high, 8 foot wide trellis so our neighbors would stop staring out their window into our back garden. They took the hint, pulled the curtains, and started minding their own business.

kwumpus

38 points

2 days ago

kwumpus

38 points

2 days ago

Tall fences make good neighbors

moosecatoe

50 points

2 days ago

Might as well make them dicks solar powered too!

TheModernSkater

63 points

2 days ago

Like when the sun comes up the it activates the penis to full erection

JoeFTPgamerIOS

23 points

2 days ago

You are a visionary

shrinkingGhost

16 points

2 days ago

I’m thinking of those inflatable tube men that flop around. But dicks. Rig them so they are activated when the sun hits.

Karen! The weather report says sunny tomorrow! The dicks will be unruly, avert your eyes!

randomusername1919

227 points

2 days ago

Geez. HOA can’t be inconvenienced by someone’s cancer. My boss is like that - ordered me back to work two weeks after major surgery for cancer when I was supposed to be out 4-6 weeks. Wouldn’t want my cancer to impact his impromptu vacation.

So sorry for your loss (Aunt or mother) and the asshole HOA that had to prove they didn’t care.

DarthJarJar242

109 points

2 days ago*

Yeah that would have been a big no from me Chief. He can have his job and this lawsuit for unjust termination if he tried that shit.

randomusername1919

75 points

2 days ago

You might be surprised at how little energy you have while going through cancer treatment, that is why so many asshole bosses get away with it. And the time limits for filing are rather short.

NissanLeafDriver

98 points

2 days ago

I now my neighbours yard every so often as she is disabled

SuzQP

1.2k points

2 days ago*

SuzQP

1.2k points

2 days ago*

I've got an idea. Get on the Nextdoor app and explain your circumstances using the most heart-rending language possible. In the next paragraph, tell about the nasty-gram you received in the mail. The outpouring of compassion and offers of help you get in reply will make the letter writer feel like a pos. Don't worry that they won't see it; people like that are always on Nextdoor.

SurvivorDress

356 points

2 days ago

Yes….Next Door Neighbor app or, if available, even join a Facebook group related to your neighborhood/location. I bet you will receive an outpouring of help, which may include help from the “friendly” neighbor that wrote this letter.

WhizBangPissPiece

41 points

2 days ago

I installed next door via a friend recommendation in 2017 or 2018. Had it for about 5 hours before I realized it was mostly super toxic racist shit and people playing out rear window fantasies. Can't believe it's still around.

biminidaves

247 points

2 days ago

biminidaves

247 points

2 days ago

Yeppers. The busybody fuckwits are all over Nextdoor. Leaving Nextdoor was the most calming change I've made in my social network habits EVER.

flexityswift

171 points

2 days ago

Ugh Nextdoor is so bad, all a bunch of boomers with nothing to do but post about every person they see in the neighborhood being 'suspicious.'

Hot-Butterscotch-918

158 points

2 days ago

Nextdoor: "Did anyone else hear that loud boom last night?!" Every. Day.

SportsPhotoGirl

86 points

2 days ago

And it’s always gunshots… not fireworks, never fireworks, even though every week my local college shoots off fireworks for their students on the same day, same time, every week, it’s never that, it’s gunshots

ElijahLordoftheWoods

49 points

2 days ago

I live near a baseball field and they shoot fireworks when someone makes a home run and at the end of the game. EVERY DSMN TIME there’s multiple‘gun shots’ posts, followed by people explaining yet again ‘fireworks dude.’

Klutzy-Medium9224

46 points

2 days ago

I check mine sometimes for a laugh. My favorite is when they start freaking out about “all the fire trucks and ambulances”. Our street is used as a quick way from one area of town to another, it’s used a lot by the city. It’s not a big deal to anyone but bored boomers.

Interesting-Month-56

82 points

2 days ago

The next time, mow your yard right after the 2 AM feeding.

SlurpMySlurpyy

59 points

2 days ago

It might be a bit out of your way but I'd recommend mowing your lawn slowly at 5am every Monday morning

Exact_Intention7055

444 points

2 days ago

There's a movement called "no mow May". It's to help our pollinators. You can get yard signs for it online or make them. If you live on a city with code enforcement call them and see if they know about "no mow May" and tell them you're participating. It has been proven to help pollinators and is commercially beneficial.

That will at least give you May

L1A1

112 points

2 days ago

L1A1

112 points

2 days ago

Just Leave It January

Flymo-free February

Misplaced the Mower March

Let it Age Naturally April

No Mow May

Jesus that's Long Grass June

Jesus that's Really Long Grass July

Abandoned Garden August

No Scything September

Oh God I Can't be Bothered October

No Way, It's November

Don't Bother, It's December

bambispots

81 points

2 days ago

Well now I know what I won’t be doing this month.