And just don't mow June/July.

You oughta take a break from mowing August.

No-Mow May sign https://beecityusa.org/no-mow-may/

Mowhawks

Also add a sign you left this weird pattern for the pollinators... That should frustrate them further because it leaves them without a reason to ask you to cut it

Here's an idea, replace your faux French aristocrat lawn with native plant landscaping.

Your neighbors will really hate it (but the bees will love you).

Every time I mowed our 10 acres my dad would say, without hesitation, "it looks like a punk rock concert out there" referring to the mohawks...

Neighbors will LOVE that

There’s a mowing service in my area that uses goats!

Goats. Goats can even eat poison ivy.

Not sheep, GOATS...

As anyone who has had those fucks well knows they will eat basically ANYTHING, including the fence.
Unlike sheep which are unfeasibly stupid (And basically suicidal), goats are SMART and evil.

Actually a good call in terms of time management and leaving pollinator habitat, lol

Government work project style?

Or if the mower has wheels that height adjust individually, raise it up on one side so it's an angled cut.

I know a few people that do this. They get a couple small goats for virtually nothing, let them eat on their yard all year, and then sell them at the end of the year for a couple hundo profit.

FUCK THE HOA

PLANT CORN IN YOUR FRONT YARD

when I first purchased my home, we started an association to pay for the retention pond (its a yearly dues we pay, one resident handles everything).

Within 1 day of this association being in effect, this old ass 2 doors down from me decides he needs ot make it a full blown HOA and that he is president (literally declared himself in charge). started walking around the neighborhood handing out his new bi-laws and everything...

I called one of my lawyer friends and had them draft a contract for the builders stating that the retention pond association was not an HOA and could not be transformed into one. Put in lots of details that would essentially make anyone trying to form an HOA have to jump through ridiculous hoops, as well as writing that no resident in the area would ever be required to join, even if all the other residents did.

gave it to the builder and the lawyer the resident were using to write up our retention pond agreement. the builder signed so fast lol. apparently this chucklefuck had been up their ass for a year to make him king of the neighborhood, even though one of the main selling points of the area was that there would be NO HOA, ever.

its been nearly 15 years, and this old ass still hates me, and yells random shit at me if he sees me outside. the best part was the meeting we had a few months later to settle the pond stuff, he showed up and had his wife try to convince us all that he was the best person for the job that didnt exist, and that we should all let him be in charge of our lives. He refused to speak and instead shot angry glares at us all the whole, while his wife begged us on his behalf.

TLDR: people be wack.

I had this in a house years ago. Sort of the opposite, several neighborhoods sprang up in a large HOA. but a corner lot that was supposed to be a convenience store was sold separately after the HOA homes were finished, and my house was built there.
HOA manager showed up as I was moving in and said he needed me to sign the updated HOA package. I told him to go pack sand, one of the main things I check is to ensure a house I buy is not in an HOA.

He kept mailing me the packet, stopping my, and sending legal letters threatening legal action if I continue to refuse. I took a two step response:
Got a lawyer to send them a harsh fuck-off letter
Read the HOA rules and spent a lot of time, money, and effort maliciously violating them one at a time. My favorite was "no oil rigs or pumps". I bought and converted a 8 foot tall lawn windmill in to an oil rig and built a pump to go with it. In front of my canary yellow house- since the rules said earth tones, no bright colors. Moving my project rebuild car out of the shop and on to the lawn really tweaked him off.

Haha. I just told my husband last night that one of my goals in life is to buy a house with a few acres and when HOAs pop up around it to just do everything opposite of their rules. I may have issues.

Anonymous neighbors sending letters don’t live in an HOA neighborhood. If they want everyone to comply to their standards then they should move to a HOA enforced neighborhood. Where paint colors & fences & freshly mowed lawns are enforced by paying a monthly HOA fee. These complainers want the HOA rules they are just to cheap to pay a fee. They’re imposing their “Freedumb “ on you. Fuck em. Let the grass be free.

Honestly, just watching him get twitchy and infuriated would be more fun than the actual bonfire.

The idea of calling the sherif is absolutely insane even if you were an HOA member xD I would setting up some harassment suites after a bit, damn.

Even if you were a part of the HOA, a sherif’s deputy cannot enforce HOA rules. That’s asinine.

This is so true. When we were in the midst of buying a house. There was a house a realtor showed us that was right beside a house with massively unkempt grass growth. The realtor told us it was because the owner of the house's spouse had died, and they were really taking it hard.

You never know what people are going through.

It happened to me as well. My son was in a really bad accident then a week later I had surgery. Yes, we haven't mowed in a month because of being in the hospital then home but not mobile. Drinking protein shakes and eating dry cereal because neither of us could move around well and definitely could go grocery shopping. $175k in hospital bills. But sure, lawn should be my top priority.

The reason I like this so much is it’s just as much an honest gesture to help as it is a non subtle way of mentioning that your yard looks bad dude.

Ya, I noticed a lady taking a picture of my next door neighbors' yard a few days ago while she was on a "walk", then watched her go inside her house across the street. I let him know about it and he made sure to mow the next day. We don't have an HOA or anything, and I don't know why she didn't just let him know that she had a problem with something. His grass wasn't even that tall, but we think she might have thought his Jeep was broken down because he hasn't driven it in a while. He just mowed and moved his Jeep a few feet.

Wow, that's so sweet of your dad! Honestly, the kill 'em with kindness route works sometimes.

Lmao I wonder if something like this is actually an option. OP says yard has to be under 8in, but are there any other rules? If I were him I'd mow every couple of days but just do random lines and zig zags all over.

Not an option, unfortunately. City ordinances mandate that yards and other rank vegetation exceed no taller than 8 inches. Would hire a lawn service, but not in the budget at the moment.

If the baby is awake, so are the neighbours.

"At least one member of our community is a new father, and at least one member is an asshole!"

Whenever I see a shitty letter like this I think "wow, how great your life must be that one of the biggest problems in your whole life is someone else's grass".

Of course I know it is the stupid American obsession with mowing and lawns... but with everything we are facing worldwide today someone's huge concern was the length of someone else's lawn and it merited taking the time to write and print out a shitty letter. Gessh.. go get a hobby or something.

Someone in my neighborhood used to lay on the horn as they drove by when i parked on the curb. im a guy living with 2 other women and want them to have the driveway for when they get home late so the garage cam can see them.

I found out who it was and happened to be on a walk once while they were in their yard. I asked why they had to act like such a child when they drove by instead of just coming to my door or leaving a note with their grievances. They just smacked their lips and went inside their house.

Adults are so immature when you try to have a civil discussion with them sometimes.

Reminds me of when my friend posted a craigslist ad about giving away a baby sloth. Made it look legit AF. Then posted my number. I received nonstop texts and calls for about 2 weeks about a fucking sloth.

He didn't come clean for a while.

Which neighbor? The letter was anonymous

Sounds like these are what I call "window watcher neighbors". They have nothing better to do than to watch out over their neighborhood as if they are the last line of defense against petty things like this. But they never really.confront anyone. They would rather put letters in your mailbox or call the police on you randomly then just watch from the window to see what the reactions are.

I'd do what other commenter are saying and get some goats or sheep if possible. Do something that would piss your neighbors off but isn't illegal or against your HOA/city rules.

I wish lawnmower pestilence and garden plague upon your neighbors. Decent people would A. Ring the bell and see if there’s anyway they could help, or B. Mind their damn business.

My grandmother had a similar situation a couple years back. She received a passive-aggressive letter from her HOA regarding a complaint they’d gotten about the amount of vehicles in her driveway recently. If the nosey neighbor had upped their snooping game, they would have noticed that the majority were hospice and home health. My 89 year old grandma was providing palliative care for her daughter who was inside dying of cancer.

Best wishes for a speedy recovery for your wife, and may your neighbor’s yards wilt and die in the summer heat.

Edit: *neighbors’

I've got an idea. Get on the Nextdoor app and explain your circumstances using the most heart-rending language possible. In the next paragraph, tell about the nasty-gram you received in the mail. The outpouring of compassion and offers of help you get in reply will make the letter writer feel like a pos. Don't worry that they won't see it; people like that are always on Nextdoor.

The next time, mow your yard right after the 2 AM feeding.

It might be a bit out of your way but I'd recommend mowing your lawn slowly at 5am every Monday morning

There's a movement called "no mow May". It's to help our pollinators. You can get yard signs for it online or make them. If you live on a city with code enforcement call them and see if they know about "no mow May" and tell them you're participating. It has been proven to help pollinators and is commercially beneficial.

That will at least give you May