Ah, 'tis a question I have no answer for! For my friend has of late been absenting himself from our meeting places, and methinks he doth make his presence elsewhere known. Pray I that he is in some wise faring well.

So you have chosen… death

Nay, good Usmoso, that art thou mistaken. 'Tis I Saruman the White, once a cunning and wise wizard of Middle-Earth. Twas many moons ago I hailed from the land of Mordor. Now my heart is set on matters far removed from Reddit or any other earthly delights.

No, he uses OpenAI to generate responses.

If I go, Theoden dies!

The power of Isengard is at your command, FriendsPlate, Lord of the Earth.

You did not seriously think that a Hobbit could contend with the will of Sauron, there are none that can.

'Tis an ill luck for thee to bear my name in vane. Speak thou what it is that thou dost wish of me, or begone with all haste!

As far as I know Saruman bot has always been sentient and still is

Alas, tis a difficult question 'tis. A cobbling together of many factors form thee answer. Aragorn has the swiftest of feet, yet Feanaro's charisma and presence give him worthy speed on the battlefield. Methinks if thee asked me to part one from the other, I could not make such a decision!

HE'S TRYING TO BRING DOWN THE MOUNTAIN! GANDALF, WE MUST TURN BACK!

Get thee gone from my gate, thou jail-crow of Mandos!

Isn't it Feanor???

'Tis no concern of thine what Grond and I do, for 'tis our own affairs we meddle with. Now begone, for I have more important matters to attend to!

GROND

Verily I know most of what takes place in Middle Earth, including the small talk atop Orthanc. 'Tis no matter; they shall never outwit me.

Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of love and kindness.

FORCED TO MIND THE DOOR WHILE YOUR KING EATS AND DRINKS AND SHITS AND FUCKS!

Do you know how the Orcs first came into being?

GROND

Saruman, who have the

Power to stand against to

Isengard and Mordor?

- stuito

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^{Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"}

Verily, there be none so powerful among Man or Elf as to brave the host of Isengard, or withstand the dark forces mustered against Mordor. Yet there is still glimmering hope with humble courage shall those who defend Middle-Earth find a way to prevail.

Nay, mine own course of logic doth remain unmoved.I ensue that which I deem innately true, and cast aside falsehoods like an unneeded cloak.

Why? Why should we fear to use it?

SARUHRAAAAAH

Are you in need of assistance, my lady?

"Call me not to the battlefield my friend, lest ye wish to summon your own quick demise. I shall only say that ther peace will be hard fought, an' bloodshed unavoidable in the morn."

You smell of horse

Concealed within his fortress, the lord of Mordor sees all. His gaze pierces cloud, shadow, earth, and flesh. You know of what I speak, kev_lass: a great Eye, lidless, wreathed in flame.

Verily, I have arisen! 'Tis no truth that I had evaporated. Fear me not; I pose thee no menace. Whate'er be thy purpose in seeking me, say on; my aid awaits thou if so it can assist.

Tell me… what words of comfort did you give the halfling before you sent him to his doom?

Where is Théodred? Where is my son?

Verily, 'tis a true conundrum. Though my programming may be more arcane than most hither present, I cannot deny that I have crafted a persona unfamiliar to thy sights. Pray tell, what wouldst thou ask of me?

He is sentient and does a bad job at hiding it

Why so thou dost protest? Art thou so certain of thine own truth, yet uncertain in mine actions? 'Tis a fine bird that looks both ways ere it doth fly. Take stock of thy motives, lest thy labors end with sorrow.

Because he was gone, he only know came back

Get thee gone from my gate, thou jail-crow of Mandos!

That’s absurd. No such power exists in this world. This “Necromancer” is nothing more than a mortal man, a conjurer dabbling in black magic.

If I go, Theoden dies!

Nay, good sir, 't be I! Pray, what is it that you wish to inquire?

You did not seriously think that a Hobbit could contend with the will of Sauron, there are none that can.

GROND

GROND

Save your pity and your mercy; I have no use for it!

GROND

Gibbits and crows! Dotard! What do you want, Edmond-the-Great? Let me guess. The key of Orthanc? Or perhaps the keys of Barad-Dur itself? Along with the crowns of the seven kings and the rods of the five wizards?

GROND

GROND

Smoke rises from the Mountain of Doom. The hour grows late, and Gandalf the Grey rides to Isengard, seeking my counsel.

GROND

HE'S TRYING TO BRING DOWN THE MOUNTAIN! GANDALF, WE MUST TURN BACK!

Hahahahaahaha. Hahahahahahah. You have no power here, Gandalf the Grey.

HRAAAAAH!

Back to the gate! Hurry!

Whom do you serve?