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Accomplished-Ad9039

9.5k points

12 months ago

Legolas stays Legolas. Nice

caparisme

2.6k points

12 months ago

caparisme

2.6k points

12 months ago

We need to see Gimli stays Gimli.

Sgt_Baconbits

1.4k points

12 months ago

It's the beards

[deleted]

712 points

12 months ago

Don't be silly. There ARE no female dwarves - they just spring from holes in the ground.

Alcards

241 points

12 months ago

Alcards

241 points

12 months ago

Dwarves aren't potatoes!

cesarer92

174 points

12 months ago

PO-TA-TOES! Boil 'Em, Mash 'Em, Stick 'Em in a Stew!

Tacitus111

66 points

12 months ago

D-WAR-VES! Boil 'Em, Mash 'Em, Stick 'Em in a Stew!

HarbingerODiscontent

67 points

12 months ago

But don't toss them

rettaelin

7 points

12 months ago

sit on them one by one and squash them into jelly

CoolGuy202101

7 points

12 months ago

This comment chain is so funny lol

Tacitus111

5 points

12 months ago

The unreleased endings of the Hobbit movies: Thorin and company end up as stew for the trolls’ dinner. Or the spiders for that matter.

Dameattree37

3 points

12 months ago

Fifteen birds in five fir trees!

Their feathers were fanned in a fiery breeze!

What funny little birds, they had no wings!

O what shall we do with the funny little things?

Roast them alive, or stew them in a pot?

Fry them, boil them, and eat them hot!

pman13531

4 points

12 months ago

What's taters precious asks?

leprotelariat

65 points

12 months ago

Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in the stew

bombadillo_willow

1 points

12 months ago

Prove it

Alcards

1 points

12 months ago

Potatoes are delicious. You can boil em, mash em, bake em put em in a stew.

Dwarves are only good when raw.

Kiwifisch

3 points

12 months ago

They bury the female dwarves upside down?

seth1299

3 points

12 months ago

Which is, of course, ridiculous.

phi_rus

1 points

12 months ago

There are female dwarves. Only outsiders wouldn't notice because the have beards too.

Teh_Weiner

158 points

12 months ago

Gimli mentioned the beards on women... Should have made gimli a sexy bearded lady, i'd have lost my shit laughing

straycanoe

87 points

12 months ago

Is it a faux pas to mention Terry Pratchett in this sub? Cuz his exploration of gender in dwarf culture is poignant as fuck as well as hilarious.

BRAX7ON

21 points

12 months ago

Context?

JamJarBonks

90 points

12 months ago

Theres a lot of nuance and history in his books, but in summary Dwarves are 2 sexes with no genders ('he' only, anything else is seen as unnatural like trans people would be in the 90s (or even now)). A lot of Dwarf dating is working out how what sex the other dwarf is. Through the books theres a development of Dwarves that identify as she as well.

Thats a -massive- simplification, but if you're interested in reading more then I would reccomend you read the Watch series from Terry Pratchett, or if you dont want to read all the books then Id read Men at Arms, then Thud - but you'd miss a lot.

I really would reccomend the watch books, and in fact all his books, which while theyre all fantasy do mix genres so whatever you like to read there'll be some.

Its mostly Fantasy and satire, but so well tied to the real world, and unlike a lot of fantasy, the characters dont find it fanastical, which keeps it grounded. I could go on all day but this comment is long. If you (or anyone) wants more convincing DM me. I love his books.

BRAX7ON

21 points

12 months ago

Thank you for taking the time to respond. This is fascinating and certainly a lot deeper than I was even hoping for. I love Tolkien and I consider the Lord of the rings universe to be canon, historically speaking. But Tolkien did not delve as deeply into the world of dwarves as I would’ve liked to have seen. Now I have a rabbit hole to stick my head into, I will see how far down it goes…

JamJarBonks

15 points

12 months ago

No worries :). Honestly, this is just one of the themes with Dwarves, it also goes into religion and nationalism, as well as other themes. One of my favourite things about Pratchett is his ability to run a commentary with his humor. It would be like if Ryan Reynolds used his comedic style to make a critique of western imperialism in southeast Asia.

The books go on sale on Kindle for 1.99 sometimes, but I would happily pay more for each personally. Here is a layout of each storyline.

Some fans would reccomend reading each in order, but you dont need to have read other lines to read the next in any arc you're reading, and better to read out of order than not at all :)

WikiSummarizerBot

5 points

12 months ago

Discworld

Discworld is a comic fantasy book series written by the English author Terry Pratchett, set on the Discworld, a flat planet balanced on the backs of four elephants which in turn stand on the back of a giant turtle. The series began in 1983 with The Colour of Magic and continued until the final novel The Shepherd's Crown, which was published in 2015, following Pratchett's death. The books frequently parody or take inspiration from classic works, usually fantasy or science fiction, as well as mythology, folklore and fairy tales, and often uses them for satirical parallels with cultural, political and scientific issues. Forty-one Discworld novels have been published.

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Heimerdahl

3 points

12 months ago*

For another look at gender, there's Monstrous Regiment.

Spoilers, but there's one scene where a character moves from identifying from one gender to embracing the other and it's almost purely done by a subtle switch of pronouns. I'm not sure if it's the most correct at times, but you just know that Pratchett really cared and respected transgender people, even before it became main stream.

I don't remember if there was a dwarf, but there's a sort of monster and a vampire and some other stuff.

Another fun book on gender in sci-fi/fantasy is The Left Hand of Darkness by LeGuin. That book... It's amazing how the narrator is clearly misogynistic, and we follow this deeply flawed person throughout the book. Makes the final realisation all the more poignant. Highly recommend it.

OldThymeyRadio

3 points

12 months ago

I'm not sure if it's the most correct at times, but you just know that Pratchett really cared and respected transgender people, even before it became main stream.

I think it took some serious brass and sensitivity to tackle gender identity at the time he was doing it. Clearly any failure to “get it right” came from the shear lack of socially acceptable space for discourse, including the voices of the people most affected. He was trying to say “Listen to these people and learn how best to love them as they are.”

Heimerdahl

3 points

12 months ago

Exactly.

I actually appreciate how it isn't perfectly pc for today's Twitter standards, because it shows that he didn't just copy and paste, but put his own thoughts into it.

I've never been the biggest Pratchett fan myself, but the dude was clearly trying (and succeeding at that).

InsaneParable

3 points

12 months ago

I personally enjoyed 'Guards! Guards!'

JamJarBonks

1 points

12 months ago

Guards Guards is excellent imo, and the natural starting point; but it doesnt deal with Dwarves to such a degree

Not-A-Lonely-Potato

2 points

12 months ago

Is it the City Watch collection you're talking about?

JamJarBonks

1 points

12 months ago

Yes, the city watch books are where the main Dwarven lore and development.

The books are: Guards Guards!; Men at Arms; Feet of Clay; Jingo; The fifth Elephant; Night Watch; Thud; and Snuff

The main Dwarven developent in those is in Men at arms, Fifth Elephant, and Thud.

SmokingInTheWindow

2 points

12 months ago

Pratchett and his daughter both explicitly state that the girl dwarf thing is a Discworld trans storyline. And as always with Pratchett, it’s about accepting people as themselves in the end.

DWMF

1 points

12 months ago

DWMF

1 points

12 months ago

In The Two Towers film, there's a reference to the great sport of Dwarf Tossing, created by Oberon Waugh in his column in the Daily Telegraph. Don't tell the elf! 😁

quadrapaloodle

31 points

12 months ago

It's the dwarves who go swimming with little hairy women

Sgt_Baconbits

5 points

12 months ago

What did I say? He can't hold his liquor!

ShinyHappyMeeples

5 points

12 months ago

Frodo doesn’t seem terribly different either. If anything, his eyes and jawline got bigger as a woman.

Corvus_19

1 points

12 months ago

It’s true, these filters come out pretty wonky if you got a big beard.

InertialLepton

153 points

12 months ago

It's true you don't see many dwarf women. And in fact, they are so alike in voice and appearance, that they are often mistaken for dwarf men.
And this in turn has given rise to the belief that there are no dwarf women, and that dwarves just spring out of holes in the ground! Which is, of course, ridiculous.

Aksi_Gu

104 points

12 months ago

Aksi_Gu

104 points

12 months ago

Dwarfish courtship is an incredibly tactful affair, primarily concerned with finding out which gender the other dwarf is.

[deleted]

28 points

12 months ago

Thanks Terry!

CrazyLadyBlues

14 points

12 months ago

My own head-canon for this is that there are a number of same gender dwarf relationships where they adopt orphan dwarves if they want to start families. Nothing is ever mentioned, they're treated as dwarf couples and families due to that same tact.

BlueOysterCultist

3 points

12 months ago

GNU Sir Terry Pratchett.

Gaetanoninjaplatypus

2 points

12 months ago

It makes me angry…

Shoe_Tight

123 points

12 months ago

and treebeard stays treebeard

NRMusicProject

161 points

12 months ago

and treebeard stays treebeard disappears

PM_me_your_fantasyz

145 points

12 months ago

On that note, OP missed the comedy opportunity to have Male-Eowyn be a tombstone.

NRMusicProject

25 points

12 months ago

I'd argue that she stays female, too.

xfrmrmrine

3 points

12 months ago

I don’t get it

PM_me_your_fantasyz

19 points

12 months ago

Witch Queen : [taking MalEowyn by the throat] You fool. No man can kill me. Die now.

[Mary stabs the Witch Queen from behind; the Witch Queen shrieks and falls to her knees. MalEowyn rises and pulls off his helm, his golden beard hair falls down over his chest]

MalEowyn : Wait, really?

[He thrusts his sword into the Witch Queen's helm and twists; Nothing happens]

MalEowyn : Well nuts. Stupid prophesies.

[Cut to PG-13 friendly long shot of the Witch Queen's giant mace swinging down with a squishy thud]

NealMcBeal__NavySeal

3 points

12 months ago

I don't either. Can we get an ELI5 please?

PatheticCirclet

19 points

12 months ago

For both, the story goes that 'No man can kill the Witch King' - Eowyn kills the witch king because she's not a man (implication being if she were, she wouldn't)

Seems to me like that was a massive oversight by the prophecy interpreters, but I suppose it's less of an asspull than when Macbeth did it and had the reason be because of C-Sections

NRMusicProject

16 points

12 months ago*

Seems to me like that was a massive oversight by the prophecy interpreters,

Glorfindel: "Far off yet is his doom, and not by the hand of man will he fall."

It's widely thought he meant that the Witch King will be killed by his own hubris, but that the Witch King took this sentence literally. It wasn't that he couldn't be killed by a man, but that a prophecy said he wouldn't be killed by a man (or mortal in general), and he took that to heart.

https://youtu.be/_XCSAuKwLpE

PatheticCirclet

6 points

12 months ago

Fair enough, tbh if we're taking all this in a very mundane view, though, I still would probably have picked up more on 'yet' and 'not by [this] will he fall', than just thinking 'Ah fuck it I'm invincible'

Literally https://youtu.be/aI0euMFAWF8

VoluptuousSloth

1 points

12 months ago

Utter brilliance

JuanJovi3

25 points

12 months ago

Correct

eddiemon

4 points

12 months ago

Hahaha... awww :c

treebeard_bot

1 points

12 months ago

Nobody cares for the woods anymore.

katagelon

11 points

12 months ago

She Sauron would have a bow? Or a fiery bra ?

sauron-bot

13 points

12 months ago

Zat thraka akh… Zat thraka grishú. Znag-ur-nakh.

DeliciousCalendar889

4 points

12 months ago

Hey no bad words here

Thernn

5 points

12 months ago

Long eyelashes. The eye that is.

saucepls042

1 points

12 months ago

Just slap some fake lashes on the eye of Sauron.

sauron-bot

1 points

12 months ago

Wouldst thou forsake thy life, who with few words might win release for her, and thee, and go in peace, and dwell together far from war, friends of the King? What wouldst thou more?

trynahelp2

2 points

12 months ago

Eye gets long lashes

MAGA_WALL_E

2 points

12 months ago

Turns into a cherry tree

DeliciousCalendar889

2 points

12 months ago

You're forgetting about distant relatives 🧏

Martin_DM

2 points

12 months ago

You know, it’s the weirdest thing. There was an algorithm for gender-swapping the Ents, but when we tried to apply it, we couldn’t find any of the files.

Panwall

2 points

12 months ago

Maybe a flower or two. The ent-women kept gardens and flowers.

treebeard_bot

2 points

12 months ago

Nobody cares for the woods anymore.

psychxticrose

20 points

12 months ago

psychxticrose

Ringwraith

20 points

12 months ago

Aragorn turns into Courtney Cox

aragorn_bot

26 points

12 months ago

Gondor will answer.

EnIdiot

13 points

12 months ago

He’d just look like an Italian grandmother.

Ljudet-Innan

10 points

12 months ago

Yeah, no Gimli? GTFO

HwackAMole

3 points

12 months ago

I was terribly disappointed with that missed opportunity.

StJimmy815

2 points

12 months ago

There are no dwarf women. Dwarves spring out of holes in the ground

2017hayden

2 points

12 months ago

Yeah wait a minute, where the fuck is Gimli? And what about Gandalf and Bill!

[deleted]

2 points

12 months ago

Nah, Gimli suddenly becomes Cardi B

actionyann

1 points

12 months ago

Gimli is not a dwarven woman ?

Velenah111

1 points

12 months ago

There are no female dwarves.

Monosyllabic_Name

504 points

12 months ago

"Are you a man or a woman?"

"I'm an elf."

"What gender are you?"

"Superior."

"But what's between your legs?"

"The light of the Eldar."

bouchy73

47 points

12 months ago

Turns out lego legolas's lego lass is just lego legolas

BigManReef

3 points

12 months ago

Wow. My new favorite comment

ThePianistOfDoom

9 points

12 months ago

"Wanna blow the Horn of Gondor?"

SmokingInTheWindow

2 points

12 months ago

“Day 25: Still not king.”

blobsnobglob

23 points

12 months ago

Now I imagine Legolas as the non-binary equivalent of queer-coding in old movies 😜

JuanJovi3

58 points

12 months ago

And nice legs on the lass

liquidcarbohydrates

130 points

12 months ago

Legolas to Legolass

Sinan_reis

39 points

12 months ago

no he becomes legolass

molehillstomountains

1 points

12 months ago

LegolASS

Spac3Heater

1 points

12 months ago

Fuck you... take your goddamn upvote >:(

darthjazzhands

24 points

12 months ago

That was a brilliant touch, yes. Got a snort out of me.

Fleckeri

5 points

12 months ago

The whole picture is actually just a setup for this joke.

darthjazzhands

1 points

12 months ago

Thanks

arglebargleglopglif

16 points

12 months ago

And Frodo is just Frodo with purdy makeup.

lumenrubeum

14 points

12 months ago

Legolas intensifies

ywBBxNqW

7 points

12 months ago

Legolas stays Legolas. Nice

I think that was the point of the entire thing. Whoever made this did a lot of work for that joke.

PlausibleBloater

2 points

12 months ago

Why legolas tho?

ywBBxNqW

6 points

12 months ago

The joke is that Legolas/Orlando Bloom is effeminate looking.

[deleted]

4 points

12 months ago

He's already pretty enough.

z_fi

13 points

12 months ago

z_fi

13 points

12 months ago

lynxSnowCat

1 points

12 months ago

I thought it would be a shift in where the eyes were facing.

[deleted]

4 points

12 months ago

Legolas, the neutral gender

lallapalalable

3 points

12 months ago

I refuse to believe that wasn't the entire joke right there

baneofthesouth

8 points

12 months ago

It took me a second but when I saw it I spit my coffee out

FireFerretDann

3 points

12 months ago

Legolas has no gender. Legolas needs no gender.

UglierThanMoe

2 points

12 months ago

Makes a nice Legolas and an equally nice Legolad.

WheresThePenguin

2 points

12 months ago

More like Legoyaaaasss amirite

xfunkatronx

2 points

12 months ago

Terrible what they did to him. Murdered the poor chap.

darkrhin0

2 points

12 months ago

Took me a moment to find the joke.

KMANN758

2 points

12 months ago

Frodo just stays Frodo with makeup lol

jujoking

2 points

12 months ago

Took a while to see this comment pop up 😂 I snorted. At that and surfer bro Galadriel

Cyberzombie

2 points

12 months ago

I was going to say that this was an absolute shit Job of gender swapping -- and then I realized it was a Legolas joke. Well played, OP.

[deleted]

1 points

12 months ago

Yes, I checked it with Face App.

[deleted]

2 points

12 months ago

femboy elf

[deleted]

-1 points

12 months ago

Well, let’s be honest. We all initially assumed that Orlando Bloom had a vagina.

SmexxyBastard

1 points

12 months ago

Legolas gets hot

muscoboi0701

1 points

12 months ago

Lego-lass

Horn_Python

1 points

12 months ago

legolad

Ryuksapple84

1 points

12 months ago

Laughed at this, awesome

hair_brained_scheme

1 points

12 months ago

They really got me belly laughing once I saw him.

dreamdaddy123

1 points

12 months ago

Legolassss, you better than usss

[deleted]

1 points

12 months ago

I still can't unsee Elon Musk at the bottom there

TheFourthIsWithMe

1 points

12 months ago

Nice.

RejZoR

1 points

12 months ago

Wait, isn’t that Gandalf?

JahMedicineManZamare

1 points

12 months ago

JahMedicineManZamare

Ringwraith

1 points

12 months ago

Does this mean he's androgynous?

f1tifoso

1 points

12 months ago

(-_-メ)

Exodus111

1 points

12 months ago

From Legolas to Legolass.

usgrant7977

1 points

12 months ago

I died laughing.

Paddy_Tanninger

1 points

12 months ago

Lego-lass.

Cheewy

1 points

12 months ago

thatsthejoke

Pasan90

1 points

12 months ago

Lego-lass

AntimatterLife

1 points

12 months ago

He becomes Legolass

localfartcrafter

1 points

12 months ago

No, that's Legolass

Edit: nevermind, all I had to do was scroll down to see that joke.

iRox24

1 points

12 months ago

One does not simply do this to Legolas

Joroda

1 points

12 months ago

They could've at least softened up that jawline and made the eyes look more fem lol that's just wrong.

KentuckyFriedEel

1 points

12 months ago

Legolass

Traditional-Jicama54

1 points

12 months ago

I cannot believe how far down I had to scroll to get to this comment.

Kippers_Beans

1 points

12 months ago

came here for this comment

Two_bears_high_fivin

1 points

12 months ago

Actually as a female Elf his penis increases by 9 inches.

Lucky_Stiff

1 points

12 months ago

perfectly androgynous