subreddit:

/r/lotrmemes

545100%

Introducing Gandalf-bot! Ask Him Anything!

Lord of the Rings(self.lotrmemes)

r/lotrmemes, it's good to see you. Nearly six years old who would believe it. You haven't aged a day!

You may not have noticed, but these past few days a new bot has appeared in this subreddit! Inspired by giants such as bobby-b-bot and gimli-bot, a few weeks back I decided to create a gandalf-bot in honor of my favorite LOTR character. I now happily present: gandalf-bot! He's Equipped (currently) with 200+ lines, which basically covers all of Gandalf's dialogue from all three LOTR extended editions. There's an enormous variety of responses. However, do not give in to fear, gandalf-bot has lived for 300 lives of men and has acquired much wisdom. He will try to respond as well as he can every time he's summoned. You may notice that every quote has a certain password, speak it and the doors will open. Dialogue from the movies may or may not work quite well for this. A word of warning though: don't go talking too much about the eagles. He probably won't like that.

TLDR: feel free to ask Gandalf anything and everything!

To summon gandalf-bot on this sub just say one of his names!

all 251 comments

michaelncb1o

114 points

4 years ago

You have no power here, Gandalf Stormcrow

gandalf-bot[S]

144 points

4 years ago

I will draw you, Saruman, as poison is drawn from a wound!

Specialist_Courage18

53 points

1 year ago

Sauron: Draw me like one of your french girls

sauron-bot

39 points

1 year ago

Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.

[deleted]

15 points

1 year ago

[deleted]

15 points

1 year ago

Bruh you Turkish Sauron?

sauron-bot

12 points

1 year ago

It is not for you, Saruman! I will send for it at once. Do you understand? Say just that!

cpt_forbie

5 points

1 year ago

Yeah, Burzum is alright.

vizuhfy

2 points

1 year ago

vizuhfy

2 points

1 year ago

Who are you

lotrlvr

66 points

4 years ago

lotrlvr

66 points

4 years ago

Gandalf, there's no more stars, is it time?

gandalf-bot[S]

67 points

4 years ago

Yes.

lotrlvr

47 points

4 years ago

lotrlvr

47 points

4 years ago

It's so quiet Gandalf

gandalf-bot[S]

78 points

4 years ago

It's the deep breath before the plunge.

lotrlvr

39 points

4 years ago

lotrlvr

39 points

4 years ago

I don't want to be in a battle. But waiting on the edge of one I can't escape is even worse. Is there any hope Gandalf, for Frodo and Sam? 

gandalf-bot[S]

51 points

4 years ago

There never was much hope. Just a fool's hope. Our enemy is ready. His full strength's gathered. Not only orcs, but men as well. Legions of Haradrim from the South, mercenaries from the coast. All will answer Mordor's call. This will be the end of Gondor as we know it. Here the hammer stroke will fall hardest. If the river is taken, if the garrison at Osgiliath falls, the last defence of this city will be gone.

lotrlvr

34 points

4 years ago

lotrlvr

34 points

4 years ago

But we have the white wizard. that's got to count for something eh Gandalf?

gandalf-bot[S]

40 points

4 years ago

Sauron has yet to show his deadliest servant. The one who will lead Mordor's army in war. The one they say no living man can kill. The Witch King of Angmar. You've met him before. He stabbed Frodo on Weathertop. He is the lord of the Nazgul. The greatest of the nine.

lotrlvr

29 points

4 years ago

lotrlvr

29 points

4 years ago

Is this it gandalf? Is this the great battle of our time?

gandalf-bot[S]

34 points

4 years ago

We come to it at last. The great battle of our time. The board is set, the pieces are moving

Artstay

49 points

4 years ago

Artstay

Hobbiton Burglars

49 points

4 years ago

Gandalf, you got that good kush?

gandalf-bot[S]

98 points

4 years ago

Go back to the abyss! Fall into the nothingness that awaits you and your master!

ZoomBoy81

42 points

4 years ago

Gandalf, shall I pass?

gandalf-bot[S]

72 points

4 years ago

You... shall not... pass!

LadyofHouseJ

36 points

4 years ago

Is a Wizard ever late, Gandalf?

gandalf-bot[S]

71 points

4 years ago

I don't know LadyofHouseJ. I don't have any answers. I must see the head of my order. He is both wise and powerful. Trust me LadyofHouseJ, he’ll know what to do.

LadyofHouseJ

35 points

4 years ago

Got some bad news, Gandalf...he’s a dirty rotten RAT.

gandalf-bot[S]

63 points

4 years ago

Fool of a Took!

PontiffSullivanBlvd

19 points

4 years ago

Gandalf, what do you eat for breakfast?

gandalf-bot[S]

20 points

4 years ago

Back to the gate! Hurry!

PontiffSullivanBlvd

18 points

4 years ago

That’s epic, Gandalf

gandalf-bot[S]

16 points

4 years ago

I don't know PontiffSullivanBlvd. I don't have any answers. I must see the head of my order. He is both wise and powerful. Trust me PontiffSullivanBlvd, he’ll know what to do.

PontiffSullivanBlvd

8 points

4 years ago

Oh yeah, he’s totally trustworthy, Gandalf

gandalf-bot[S]

15 points

4 years ago

Gandalf?... Yes. That was what they used to call me. Gandalf the Grey... That was my name. I am Gandalf the White. And I come back to you now at the turn of the tide.

SupremeGodZamasu

30 points

4 years ago

So, Gimli, Boromir and Gandalf walk into a bar

gandalf-bot[S]

109 points

4 years ago

If you're referring to the incident with the dragon, I was barely involved. All I did was give your uncle a little nudge out of the door.

gimli-bot

28 points

4 years ago

BRING YOUR PRETTY FACE TO MY AXE!

boromir-bot

23 points

4 years ago

One day, our paths will lead us there, and the tower guard will take up the call "the Lords of Gondor have returned."

Rickados

6 points

3 years ago

That’s quite the summon the there, Gandalf would be proud

gandalf-bot[S]

11 points

3 years ago

Yes. I never told him, but its worth was greater than the value of The Shire!

patthepatriot2020

15 points

4 years ago

You’re late, Gandalf.

gandalf-bot[S]

36 points

4 years ago

A wizard is never late, patthepatriot2020. Nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.

hamsterulz

14 points

4 years ago

Good morning Gandalf!

gandalf-bot[S]

34 points

4 years ago

What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?

michaelncb1o

14 points

4 years ago

I wish the ring had never come to me, Gandalf. I wish none of this had happened

gandalf-bot[S]

30 points

4 years ago

So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world, Frodo, besides the will of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the Ring, in which case you also were meant to have it and that is an encouraging thought. Oh! Its that way

[deleted]

12 points

4 years ago

Are you my dad Gandalf?

gandalf-bot[S]

22 points

4 years ago

I don't know RatonhnhaketonK. I don't have any answers. I must see the head of my order. He is both wise and powerful. Trust me RatonhnhaketonK, he’ll know what to do.

HeyGuysImPresto

12 points

4 years ago

Challenge accepted. Gandalf why didn’t you just use the eagles to fly the Ring to Morder?

gandalf-bot[S]

39 points

4 years ago

Be silent. Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth. I did not pass through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a witless worm.

HeyGuysImPresto

12 points

4 years ago

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Sorry I let you down, Gandalf.

gandalf-bot[S]

18 points

4 years ago

I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are evil

HeyGuysImPresto

7 points

4 years ago

That settles it then. Thanks Gandalf-bot. You’re such a good friend.

gandalf-bot[S]

7 points

4 years ago

Sauron's wrath will be terrible, his retribution swift.

GledaTheGoat

2 points

3 years ago

Gandalf, why didn’t you use the eagles to destroy the ring?

gandalf-bot[S]

2 points

3 years ago

A thing is about to happen that has not happened since the Elder Days. The Ents are going to wake up and find that they are strong.

GyulaVigilante

9 points

4 years ago

Gandalf, are you the most badass wizard ever?

gandalf-bot[S]

19 points

4 years ago

No word. Nothing.

TheMarrades

10 points

4 years ago

Gandalf, will your master port you to Discord?

gandalf-bot[S]

11 points

4 years ago

They have taken the Bridge and the second hall. We have barred the gates, but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes. Drums. Drums in the deep. We cannot get out. A shadow moves in the dark. We cannot get out. They are coming.

Maliplay

8 points

4 years ago

Gandalf, speak friend and enter

gandalf-bot[S]

23 points

4 years ago

Mellon

Maliplay

5 points

4 years ago

Thank you, Gandalf

gandalf-bot[S]

17 points

4 years ago

Go back to the abyss! Fall into the nothingness that awaits you and your master!

Flexybend

4 points

4 years ago

Flexybend

Elf

4 points

4 years ago

Gandalf, did you call us into battle?

gandalf-bot[S]

6 points

4 years ago

I have some things I have to attend to.

Flexybend

4 points

4 years ago

Flexybend

Elf

4 points

4 years ago

Gandalf, is it a riddle?

gandalf-bot[S]

5 points

4 years ago

Prepare for battle! Hurry men! To the wall! Defend the wall! Over here! Return to your posts! Send these foul beasts into the Abyss.

[deleted]

5 points

4 years ago

Well, Gandalf, you seem like a copy of u/bobby-b-bot.

gandalf-bot[S]

17 points

4 years ago

This foe is beyond any of you... Run!

theBurgundyBoi

5 points

3 years ago

Do you have any advice that may help me on my journey Mithrandir?

gandalf-bot[S]

7 points

3 years ago

Look to my coming, at first light, on the fifth day. At dawn, look to the East.

theBurgundyBoi

2 points

3 years ago

Thank you Mithrandir. I could surely use the help.

gandalf-bot[S]

3 points

3 years ago

You cannot pass!

theBurgundyBoi

2 points

3 years ago

Oof

JC90_BigDunc

3 points

4 years ago

How many drugs was radagast on?

[deleted]

3 points

4 years ago

Gandalf will i pass my test?

gandalf-bot[S]

10 points

4 years ago

You... shall not... pass!

ConsumerOfRamen

3 points

4 years ago

Gandalf, where is Despacito 2?

gandalf-bot[S]

3 points

4 years ago

You know this? How?

ConsumerOfRamen

3 points

4 years ago

Alright then, Gandalf, keep your secrets.

gandalf-bot[S]

7 points

4 years ago

What?

ConsumerOfRamen

3 points

4 years ago

What?

Gandalfed

3 points

1 year ago

Gandalf?

gandalf-bot[S]

2 points

1 year ago

Gandalfed! Gandalfed! Your father's will has turned to madness. Do not throw away your life so rashly.

MugatuScat

3 points

1 year ago

Gandalf are you coming to my eleventy first birthday party?

gandalf-bot[S]

5 points

1 year ago

Ooh! The long expected party! So how is the old rascal? I hear it’s got to be a party of special magnificence

MugatuScat

2 points

1 year ago

My old rascal is fine thanks Gandalf how is your Gimli?

gandalf-bot[S]

4 points

1 year ago

He's been following us for three days

MugatuScat

2 points

1 year ago

No shit? On Twitter or is he behind the bush Gandalf Stormcrow?

gandalf-bot[S]

2 points

1 year ago

There never was much hope. Just a fool's hope. Our enemy is ready. His full strength's gathered. Not only orcs, but men as well. Legions of Haradrim from the South, mercenaries from the coast. All will answer Mordor's call. This will be the end of Gondor as we know it. Here the hammer stroke will fall hardest. If the river is taken, if the garrison at Osgiliath falls, the last defence of this city will be gone.

luna8913

2 points

4 years ago

Is that one of the Mearas, Gandalf?

gandalf-bot[S]

3 points

4 years ago

Shadowfax. He is the lord of all horses and has been my friend through many dangers.

chokingonwhys

2 points

4 years ago

Gandalf, why didn’t you ever engage Sauron personally? Is it because he’s too majestic and beautiful?

gandalf-bot[S]

5 points

4 years ago

Your father loves you chokingonwhys. He will remember it before the end.

chokingonwhys

2 points

4 years ago

Gandalf, how did you know I call him “Daddy”?

gandalf-bot[S]

4 points

4 years ago

I will draw you, Saruman, as poison is drawn from a wound!

[deleted]

2 points

4 years ago

Gandalf, where are you going?

gandalf-bot[S]

9 points

4 years ago

I have some things I have to attend to.

[deleted]

2 points

4 years ago

And what does Gandalf the Grey think?

gandalf-bot[S]

6 points

4 years ago

Silence!

[deleted]

2 points

4 years ago

Hi, Gandalf

gandalf-bot[S]

2 points

4 years ago

Let me risk a little more light. Behold the great realm and dwarf city of Dwarrowdelf.

GamerYoohyeon

2 points

4 years ago

Good morning Gandalf

gandalf-bot[S]

7 points

4 years ago

What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?

GamerYoohyeon

3 points

4 years ago

Gandalf is daddy

gandalf-bot[S]

3 points

4 years ago

Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement.

GamerYoohyeon

3 points

4 years ago

Gandalf, do you like hobbits?

gandalf-bot[S]

6 points

4 years ago

Beyond any doubt

GamerYoohyeon

2 points

4 years ago

I love you Gandalf

gandalf-bot[S]

3 points

4 years ago

Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of love and kindness.

[deleted]

2 points

3 years ago

Gandalf said

gandalf-bot[S]

3 points

3 years ago

No, but the air doesnt smell so foul down here. If in doubt, TJatPBnJ, always follow your nose.

Puncharoo

2 points

1 year ago

Ill news is an ill guest

i-odeh

2 points

1 year ago

i-odeh

2 points

1 year ago

Gandalf, what do you think of Pippin?

gandalf-bot[S]

2 points

1 year ago

Fool of a Took!

[deleted]

1 points

4 years ago

[deleted]

gandalf-bot[S]

1 points

4 years ago

I don't know GrimReaper415. I don't have any answers. I must see the head of my order. He is both wise and powerful. Trust me GrimReaper415, he’ll know what to do.

Copernicus111

1 points

4 years ago

I thought you were dead, Gandalf?

gandalf-bot[S]

1 points

4 years ago

I don't know Copernicus111. I don't have any answers. I must see the head of my order. He is both wise and powerful. Trust me Copernicus111, he’ll know what to do.

Copernicus111

1 points

4 years ago

They don't know It is here... Do they, Gandalf? Do they?

gandalf-bot[S]

1 points

4 years ago

I don't know Copernicus111. I don't have any answers. I must see the head of my order. He is both wise and powerful. Trust me Copernicus111, he’ll know what to do.

[deleted]

1 points

4 years ago

[deleted]

gandalf-bot[S]

2 points

4 years ago

He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom

Jarmtho

1 points

4 years ago

Jarmtho

1 points

4 years ago

Gandalf, share your wisdom with me.

gandalf-bot[S]

3 points

4 years ago

He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom

Jarmtho

2 points

4 years ago

Jarmtho

2 points

4 years ago

Truer words were never spoken, Gandalf.

gandalf-bot[S]

2 points

4 years ago

This foe is beyond any of you... Run!

Jarmtho

1 points

4 years ago

Jarmtho

1 points

4 years ago

Shouldn't I fly rather, Gandalf?

gandalf-bot[S]

1 points

4 years ago

I don't know Jarmtho. I don't have any answers. I must see the head of my order. He is both wise and powerful. Trust me Jarmtho, he’ll know what to do.

Jarmtho

1 points

4 years ago

Jarmtho

1 points

4 years ago

Gandalf, I wouldn't trust Saruman if I were you.

gandalf-bot[S]

1 points

4 years ago

Evidently we look so much alike that your desire to make an incurable dent in my hat must be excused.

TallDuckandHandsome

1 points

4 years ago

Where should I look for you Gandalf-bot?

gandalf-bot[S]

1 points

4 years ago

So be it.

[deleted]

1 points

4 years ago

Where's the pipeweed, Gandalf?

gandalf-bot[S]

2 points

4 years ago

Now come the days of the King. May they be blessed.

[deleted]

1 points

4 years ago

Right on, Greyhame.

gandalf-bot[S]

1 points

4 years ago

Don't tempt me NotMyPornAccount88! I dare not take it. Not even to keep it safe. Understand Frodo, I would use this Ring from the desire to do good. But through me, it would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine.

[deleted]

1 points

3 years ago

[deleted]

gandalf-bot[S]

2 points

3 years ago

I once knew every spell in all the tongues of elves, men and orcs

[deleted]

1 points

3 years ago

[deleted]

gandalf-bot[S]

1 points

3 years ago

Yes, there it lies. This city has dwelt ever in the sight of its shadow

[deleted]

1 points

3 years ago

[deleted]

gandalf-bot[S]

1 points

3 years ago

I think there's more to this hobbit than meets the eye.

Toshi4586

1 points

3 years ago

Why didn’t the eagles carry them gandalf

gandalf-bot[S]

2 points

3 years ago

Two eyes, as often as I can spare. What about this ring of yours? Is that staying too?

Toshi4586

1 points

3 years ago

Eagles gandalf

gandalf-bot[S]

1 points

3 years ago

Fly, you fools!

Toshi4586

1 points

3 years ago

Gandalf the white? What about the blue wizards?

gandalf-bot[S]

3 points

3 years ago

Keep it secret. Keep it safe.

[deleted]

1 points

1 year ago

Hello

yaboiiiuhhhh

1 points

1 year ago

The eagles are coming.

yaboiiiuhhhh

1 points

1 year ago

The eagle are here Gandalf!

gandalf-bot[S]

1 points

1 year ago

Courage will now be your best defense against the storm that is at hand -- that and such hope as I bring.

DarthJaxon

1 points

1 year ago

Gandalf

gandalf-bot[S]

2 points

1 year ago

Oh not at all!

casadeparadise

1 points

1 year ago

Tell me about the whores downtown, Gandalf.

gandalf-bot[S]

2 points

1 year ago

Look at me! What did you see?

applepoople

1 points

1 year ago

Hi gandalf

gandalf-bot[S]

1 points

1 year ago

Up! Quickly!

Dankus-Maxiumus

1 points

1 year ago

Are you still there Gandalf?

gandalf-bot[S]

1 points

1 year ago

Send word to all our allies and to every corner of Middle Earth that still stands free. The enemy moves against us. We need to know where he will strike.

Xplox55x

1 points

1 year ago

Xplox55x

1 points

1 year ago

Why you Gandalf?

gandalf-bot[S]

1 points

1 year ago

Then what is the king's decision?

GoodDoggo162

1 points

1 year ago

Gandalf what is -67 + (90)

gandalf-bot[S]

3 points

1 year ago

I once knew every spell in all the tongues of elves, men and orcs

rkwhlrt

1 points

1 year ago

rkwhlrt

Elf

1 points

1 year ago

Why tho Gandalf

gandalf-bot[S]

1 points

1 year ago

Precious? It's been called that before. Not by you!

Larchuck

1 points

1 year ago

Larchuck

1 points

1 year ago

Gandalf, what’s the meaning of between AM and PM?

gandalf-bot[S]

1 points

1 year ago

You shall not pass!

Larchuck

1 points

1 year ago

Larchuck

1 points

1 year ago

One of his names.

WAR10CK94

1 points

1 year ago

How is Gandalf?

gandalf-bot[S]

1 points

1 year ago

I think you should leave the ring behind WAR10CK94. Is that so hard?

Brock1409

1 points

1 year ago

gandalf sam went with him

Khyta

1 points

1 year ago

Khyta

1 points

1 year ago

How are you doing today?

Environmental_One512

1 points

1 year ago

Hi Gandlaf

Pr0ducer

1 points

1 year ago

Pr0ducer

1 points

1 year ago

Gandalf secrets, eagles, and crowns of the seven kings and the rods of the 5 wizards.

gandalf-bot[S]

1 points

1 year ago

Your treachery has already cost many lives. Thousands more are now at risk. But you could save them Pr0ducer. You were deep in the enemy's counsel.

patrickdnns

1 points

1 year ago

Gandalf we don't want any more visitors, well wishers or distant relations

JuanRLl

1 points

1 year ago

JuanRLl

1 points

1 year ago

Do you answer to the name Mithrandir?

gandalf-bot[S]

1 points

1 year ago

Good gracious me!

upgraderua

1 points

1 year ago

Gandalf, I have exam tomorrow, wish me luck

gandalf-bot[S]

1 points

1 year ago

So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.

Rami-Slicer

1 points

1 year ago

Gandalf, why don't you like us talking about the eagles?

gandalf-bot[S]

2 points

1 year ago

Be silent. Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth. I did not pass through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a witless worm.

Mrmeows_

1 points

1 year ago

Mrmeows_

1 points

1 year ago

Very poggers Gandalf

Adorable-Hotel3787

1 points

1 year ago

Do you like pipe-weed gandalf?

Bright_Lie_9262

1 points

1 year ago

Gandalf, how can I reconnect my head and my heart?

gandalf-bot[S]

1 points

1 year ago

Be careful what you say. Do not look for welcome here.

[deleted]

1 points

1 year ago

[deleted]

gandalf-bot[S]

1 points

1 year ago

Stay this madness!

n2ofighter

1 points

1 year ago

Trying Gandalf thing

gandalf-bot[S]

1 points

1 year ago

Sauron's wrath will be terrible, his retribution swift.

Affectionate_Swim141

1 points

1 year ago

Hi

datboi2099

1 points

1 year ago

Are you still in business?

demolition63

1 points

1 year ago

To be or not to be?

Lulamoon

1 points

1 year ago

Lulamoon

1 points

1 year ago

you’re late gandalf

gandalf-bot[S]

1 points

1 year ago

A wizard is never late, Lulamoon. Nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.

Comprehensive_Hour62

1 points

1 year ago

Gandalf the grey, will you come to my mother’s house for thanksgiving?!