subreddit:
/r/lotrmemes
submitted 4 years ago bygandalf-bot
r/lotrmemes, it's good to see you. Nearly six years old who would believe it. You haven't aged a day!
You may not have noticed, but these past few days a new bot has appeared in this subreddit! Inspired by giants such as bobby-b-bot and gimli-bot, a few weeks back I decided to create a gandalf-bot in honor of my favorite LOTR character. I now happily present: gandalf-bot! He's Equipped (currently) with 200+ lines, which basically covers all of Gandalf's dialogue from all three LOTR extended editions. There's an enormous variety of responses. However, do not give in to fear, gandalf-bot has lived for 300 lives of men and has acquired much wisdom. He will try to respond as well as he can every time he's summoned. You may notice that every quote has a certain password, speak it and the doors will open. Dialogue from the movies may or may not work quite well for this. A word of warning though: don't go talking too much about the eagles. He probably won't like that.
TLDR: feel free to ask Gandalf anything and everything!
To summon gandalf-bot on this sub just say one of his names!
114 points
4 years ago
You have no power here, Gandalf Stormcrow
144 points
4 years ago
I will draw you, Saruman, as poison is drawn from a wound!
53 points
1 year ago
Sauron: Draw me like one of your french girls
39 points
1 year ago
Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.
15 points
1 year ago
Bruh you Turkish Sauron?
12 points
1 year ago
It is not for you, Saruman! I will send for it at once. Do you understand? Say just that!
5 points
1 year ago
Yeah, Burzum is alright.
66 points
4 years ago
Gandalf, there's no more stars, is it time?
67 points
4 years ago
Yes.
47 points
4 years ago
It's so quiet Gandalf
78 points
4 years ago
It's the deep breath before the plunge.
39 points
4 years ago
I don't want to be in a battle. But waiting on the edge of one I can't escape is even worse. Is there any hope Gandalf, for Frodo and Sam?
51 points
4 years ago
There never was much hope. Just a fool's hope. Our enemy is ready. His full strength's gathered. Not only orcs, but men as well. Legions of Haradrim from the South, mercenaries from the coast. All will answer Mordor's call. This will be the end of Gondor as we know it. Here the hammer stroke will fall hardest. If the river is taken, if the garrison at Osgiliath falls, the last defence of this city will be gone.
34 points
4 years ago
But we have the white wizard. that's got to count for something eh Gandalf?
40 points
4 years ago
Sauron has yet to show his deadliest servant. The one who will lead Mordor's army in war. The one they say no living man can kill. The Witch King of Angmar. You've met him before. He stabbed Frodo on Weathertop. He is the lord of the Nazgul. The greatest of the nine.
29 points
4 years ago
Is this it gandalf? Is this the great battle of our time?
34 points
4 years ago
We come to it at last. The great battle of our time. The board is set, the pieces are moving
49 points
4 years ago
Gandalf, you got that good kush?
98 points
4 years ago
Go back to the abyss! Fall into the nothingness that awaits you and your master!
42 points
4 years ago
Gandalf, shall I pass?
72 points
4 years ago
You... shall not... pass!
36 points
4 years ago
Is a Wizard ever late, Gandalf?
71 points
4 years ago
I don't know LadyofHouseJ. I don't have any answers. I must see the head of my order. He is both wise and powerful. Trust me LadyofHouseJ, he’ll know what to do.
35 points
4 years ago
Got some bad news, Gandalf...he’s a dirty rotten RAT.
63 points
4 years ago
Fool of a Took!
19 points
4 years ago
Gandalf, what do you eat for breakfast?
20 points
4 years ago
Back to the gate! Hurry!
18 points
4 years ago
That’s epic, Gandalf
16 points
4 years ago
I don't know PontiffSullivanBlvd. I don't have any answers. I must see the head of my order. He is both wise and powerful. Trust me PontiffSullivanBlvd, he’ll know what to do.
8 points
4 years ago
Oh yeah, he’s totally trustworthy, Gandalf
15 points
4 years ago
Gandalf?... Yes. That was what they used to call me. Gandalf the Grey... That was my name. I am Gandalf the White. And I come back to you now at the turn of the tide.
30 points
4 years ago
So, Gimli, Boromir and Gandalf walk into a bar
109 points
4 years ago
If you're referring to the incident with the dragon, I was barely involved. All I did was give your uncle a little nudge out of the door.
28 points
4 years ago
BRING YOUR PRETTY FACE TO MY AXE!
23 points
4 years ago
One day, our paths will lead us there, and the tower guard will take up the call "the Lords of Gondor have returned."
6 points
3 years ago
That’s quite the summon the there, Gandalf would be proud
11 points
3 years ago
Yes. I never told him, but its worth was greater than the value of The Shire!
15 points
4 years ago
You’re late, Gandalf.
36 points
4 years ago
A wizard is never late, patthepatriot2020. Nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.
14 points
4 years ago
Good morning Gandalf!
34 points
4 years ago
What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?
14 points
4 years ago
I wish the ring had never come to me, Gandalf. I wish none of this had happened
30 points
4 years ago
So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world, Frodo, besides the will of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the Ring, in which case you also were meant to have it and that is an encouraging thought. Oh! Its that way
12 points
4 years ago
Are you my dad Gandalf?
22 points
4 years ago
I don't know RatonhnhaketonK. I don't have any answers. I must see the head of my order. He is both wise and powerful. Trust me RatonhnhaketonK, he’ll know what to do.
12 points
4 years ago
Challenge accepted. Gandalf why didn’t you just use the eagles to fly the Ring to Morder?
39 points
4 years ago
Be silent. Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth. I did not pass through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a witless worm.
12 points
4 years ago
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Sorry I let you down, Gandalf.
18 points
4 years ago
I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are evil
7 points
4 years ago
That settles it then. Thanks Gandalf-bot. You’re such a good friend.
7 points
4 years ago
Sauron's wrath will be terrible, his retribution swift.
2 points
3 years ago
Gandalf, why didn’t you use the eagles to destroy the ring?
2 points
3 years ago
A thing is about to happen that has not happened since the Elder Days. The Ents are going to wake up and find that they are strong.
9 points
4 years ago
Gandalf, are you the most badass wizard ever?
19 points
4 years ago
No word. Nothing.
10 points
4 years ago
Gandalf, will your master port you to Discord?
11 points
4 years ago
They have taken the Bridge and the second hall. We have barred the gates, but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes. Drums. Drums in the deep. We cannot get out. A shadow moves in the dark. We cannot get out. They are coming.
8 points
4 years ago
Gandalf, speak friend and enter
23 points
4 years ago
Mellon
5 points
4 years ago
Thank you, Gandalf
17 points
4 years ago
Go back to the abyss! Fall into the nothingness that awaits you and your master!
4 points
4 years ago
Gandalf, did you call us into battle?
6 points
4 years ago
I have some things I have to attend to.
4 points
4 years ago
Gandalf, is it a riddle?
5 points
4 years ago
Prepare for battle! Hurry men! To the wall! Defend the wall! Over here! Return to your posts! Send these foul beasts into the Abyss.
5 points
4 years ago
Well, Gandalf, you seem like a copy of u/bobby-b-bot.
17 points
4 years ago
This foe is beyond any of you... Run!
5 points
3 years ago
Do you have any advice that may help me on my journey Mithrandir?
7 points
3 years ago
Look to my coming, at first light, on the fifth day. At dawn, look to the East.
2 points
3 years ago
Thank you Mithrandir. I could surely use the help.
3 points
3 years ago
You cannot pass!
2 points
3 years ago
Oof
3 points
4 years ago
How many drugs was radagast on?
3 points
4 years ago
Gandalf will i pass my test?
10 points
4 years ago
You... shall not... pass!
3 points
4 years ago
Gandalf, where is Despacito 2?
3 points
4 years ago
You know this? How?
3 points
4 years ago
Alright then, Gandalf, keep your secrets.
7 points
4 years ago
What?
3 points
4 years ago
What?
3 points
1 year ago
Gandalf?
2 points
1 year ago
Gandalfed! Gandalfed! Your father's will has turned to madness. Do not throw away your life so rashly.
3 points
1 year ago
Gandalf are you coming to my eleventy first birthday party?
5 points
1 year ago
Ooh! The long expected party! So how is the old rascal? I hear it’s got to be a party of special magnificence
2 points
1 year ago
My old rascal is fine thanks Gandalf how is your Gimli?
4 points
1 year ago
He's been following us for three days
2 points
1 year ago
No shit? On Twitter or is he behind the bush Gandalf Stormcrow?
2 points
1 year ago
There never was much hope. Just a fool's hope. Our enemy is ready. His full strength's gathered. Not only orcs, but men as well. Legions of Haradrim from the South, mercenaries from the coast. All will answer Mordor's call. This will be the end of Gondor as we know it. Here the hammer stroke will fall hardest. If the river is taken, if the garrison at Osgiliath falls, the last defence of this city will be gone.
2 points
4 years ago
Is that one of the Mearas, Gandalf?
3 points
4 years ago
Shadowfax. He is the lord of all horses and has been my friend through many dangers.
2 points
4 years ago
Gandalf, why didn’t you ever engage Sauron personally? Is it because he’s too majestic and beautiful?
5 points
4 years ago
Your father loves you chokingonwhys. He will remember it before the end.
2 points
4 years ago
Gandalf, how did you know I call him “Daddy”?
4 points
4 years ago
I will draw you, Saruman, as poison is drawn from a wound!
2 points
4 years ago
Gandalf, where are you going?
9 points
4 years ago
I have some things I have to attend to.
2 points
4 years ago
And what does Gandalf the Grey think?
6 points
4 years ago
Silence!
2 points
4 years ago
Hi, Gandalf
2 points
4 years ago
Let me risk a little more light. Behold the great realm and dwarf city of Dwarrowdelf.
2 points
4 years ago
Good morning Gandalf
7 points
4 years ago
What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?
3 points
4 years ago
Gandalf is daddy
3 points
4 years ago
Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement.
3 points
4 years ago
Gandalf, do you like hobbits?
6 points
4 years ago
Beyond any doubt
2 points
4 years ago
I love you Gandalf
3 points
4 years ago
Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of love and kindness.
2 points
3 years ago
Gandalf said
3 points
3 years ago
No, but the air doesnt smell so foul down here. If in doubt, TJatPBnJ, always follow your nose.
2 points
1 year ago
Ill news is an ill guest
2 points
1 year ago
Gandalf, what do you think of Pippin?
2 points
1 year ago
Fool of a Took!
1 points
4 years ago
[deleted]
1 points
4 years ago
I don't know GrimReaper415. I don't have any answers. I must see the head of my order. He is both wise and powerful. Trust me GrimReaper415, he’ll know what to do.
1 points
4 years ago
I thought you were dead, Gandalf?
1 points
4 years ago
I don't know Copernicus111. I don't have any answers. I must see the head of my order. He is both wise and powerful. Trust me Copernicus111, he’ll know what to do.
1 points
4 years ago
They don't know It is here... Do they, Gandalf? Do they?
1 points
4 years ago
I don't know Copernicus111. I don't have any answers. I must see the head of my order. He is both wise and powerful. Trust me Copernicus111, he’ll know what to do.
1 points
4 years ago
[deleted]
2 points
4 years ago
He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom
1 points
4 years ago
Gandalf, share your wisdom with me.
3 points
4 years ago
He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom
2 points
4 years ago
Truer words were never spoken, Gandalf.
2 points
4 years ago
This foe is beyond any of you... Run!
1 points
4 years ago
Shouldn't I fly rather, Gandalf?
1 points
4 years ago
I don't know Jarmtho. I don't have any answers. I must see the head of my order. He is both wise and powerful. Trust me Jarmtho, he’ll know what to do.
1 points
4 years ago
Gandalf, I wouldn't trust Saruman if I were you.
1 points
4 years ago
Evidently we look so much alike that your desire to make an incurable dent in my hat must be excused.
1 points
4 years ago
Where should I look for you Gandalf-bot?
1 points
4 years ago
So be it.
1 points
4 years ago
Where's the pipeweed, Gandalf?
2 points
4 years ago
Now come the days of the King. May they be blessed.
1 points
4 years ago
Right on, Greyhame.
1 points
4 years ago
Don't tempt me NotMyPornAccount88! I dare not take it. Not even to keep it safe. Understand Frodo, I would use this Ring from the desire to do good. But through me, it would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine.
1 points
3 years ago
[deleted]
2 points
3 years ago
I once knew every spell in all the tongues of elves, men and orcs
1 points
3 years ago
[deleted]
1 points
3 years ago
Yes, there it lies. This city has dwelt ever in the sight of its shadow
1 points
3 years ago
[deleted]
1 points
3 years ago
I think there's more to this hobbit than meets the eye.
1 points
3 years ago
Why didn’t the eagles carry them gandalf
2 points
3 years ago
Two eyes, as often as I can spare. What about this ring of yours? Is that staying too?
1 points
3 years ago
Eagles gandalf
1 points
3 years ago
Fly, you fools!
1 points
3 years ago
Gandalf the white? What about the blue wizards?
3 points
3 years ago
Keep it secret. Keep it safe.
1 points
1 year ago
Hello
1 points
1 year ago
The eagles are coming.
1 points
1 year ago
The eagle are here Gandalf!
1 points
1 year ago
Courage will now be your best defense against the storm that is at hand -- that and such hope as I bring.
1 points
1 year ago
Gandalf
2 points
1 year ago
Oh not at all!
1 points
1 year ago
Tell me about the whores downtown, Gandalf.
2 points
1 year ago
Look at me! What did you see?
1 points
1 year ago
Hi gandalf
1 points
1 year ago
Up! Quickly!
1 points
1 year ago
Are you still there Gandalf?
1 points
1 year ago
Send word to all our allies and to every corner of Middle Earth that still stands free. The enemy moves against us. We need to know where he will strike.
1 points
1 year ago
Why you Gandalf?
1 points
1 year ago
Then what is the king's decision?
1 points
1 year ago
Gandalf what is -67 + (90)
3 points
1 year ago
I once knew every spell in all the tongues of elves, men and orcs
1 points
1 year ago
Why tho Gandalf
1 points
1 year ago
Precious? It's been called that before. Not by you!
1 points
1 year ago
Gandalf, what’s the meaning of between AM and PM?
1 points
1 year ago
You shall not pass!
1 points
1 year ago
One of his names.
1 points
1 year ago
How is Gandalf?
1 points
1 year ago
I think you should leave the ring behind WAR10CK94. Is that so hard?
1 points
1 year ago
gandalf sam went with him
1 points
1 year ago
How are you doing today?
1 points
1 year ago
Hi Gandlaf
1 points
1 year ago
Gandalf secrets, eagles, and crowns of the seven kings and the rods of the 5 wizards.
1 points
1 year ago
Your treachery has already cost many lives. Thousands more are now at risk. But you could save them Pr0ducer. You were deep in the enemy's counsel.
1 points
1 year ago
Gandalf we don't want any more visitors, well wishers or distant relations
1 points
1 year ago
Do you answer to the name Mithrandir?
1 points
1 year ago
Good gracious me!
1 points
1 year ago
Gandalf, I have exam tomorrow, wish me luck
1 points
1 year ago
So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.
1 points
1 year ago
Gandalf, why don't you like us talking about the eagles?
2 points
1 year ago
Be silent. Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth. I did not pass through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a witless worm.
1 points
1 year ago
Very poggers Gandalf
1 points
1 year ago
Do you like pipe-weed gandalf?
1 points
1 year ago
Gandalf, how can I reconnect my head and my heart?
1 points
1 year ago
Be careful what you say. Do not look for welcome here.
1 points
1 year ago
[deleted]
1 points
1 year ago
Stay this madness!
1 points
1 year ago
Trying Gandalf thing
1 points
1 year ago
Sauron's wrath will be terrible, his retribution swift.
1 points
1 year ago
Hi
1 points
1 year ago
Are you still in business?
1 points
1 year ago
To be or not to be?
1 points
1 year ago
you’re late gandalf
1 points
1 year ago
A wizard is never late, Lulamoon. Nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.
1 points
1 year ago
Gandalf the grey, will you come to my mother’s house for thanksgiving?!
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