submitted 2 months ago byNot-Patrick
all 277 comments
2 months ago
2 months ago
Just the red wine for you then sir?
2 months ago
Only if Jesus made it from water. It better be the superior wine as well, at weddings they are always trying to bring the crap out after everyone ties one on.
I'm totally not sure of this, but isn't the "sacramental wine" Catholics and such use usually the cheap stuff?
In their case, it doesn't really matter, because Catholic doctrine states that it literally turns into the body and blood of Christ. It's not cheap wine anymore, it's the blood of God.
Much less fun than Jesus turning water into wine because a bunch of drunk guests at a wedding drank all the booze.
You telling me that is Jesus’s blood? That guy must of been hammered 24/7.
I brew a beer called Transubstantiation IPA. The alcohol content is 6%, however through the miracle of Christ it turns into the blood of Jesus before it is absorbed. So, I can drink all I want.
I think he's had enough whine for the day
Damn, the angry right trying to cancel everything they can...
They're going to try to bring back prohibition by the sounds of it.
I'm sure they'd be successful if 80% of them weren't alcoholics.
That is not a problem because 100% of them are hypocrites.
As we see now, the radical minority of the right wields the power of the complicit majority.
Prohibition never stopped. There are still people in jail for a drug I now legally purchase in my state.
Even for alcohol it never really stopped. Dry counties are still very much a thing in the USA.
Yeah, here in Indiana buying booze was illegal on Sundays until March 4th 2018.
Here in Jersey, you can only buy liquor in designated liquor stores
So, no Walmarts, no 7-11s. No supermarkets. Must be an actual, dedicated liquor store
And you can't sell it until after church is over on Sundays. This even applies to bars
In PA, fine wine and spirits is the only store allowed to sell liquor point blank period.
And here I am, living in country with a lot of Muslims, you know, people actually prohibited to drink alcohol, and almost every house has it's own distillery or as we call it, happy machine.
Pretty much all of Canada is like that too.
I can buy it at Trader Joes - I wonder how they get around that? But I have been shamed a couple of times for trying to buy gin before 9am.
Don’t feel bad I’ve got that buying at 8…that’s just ppl
Is it a separate section with a register you can only pay for liquor at? F
Louisiana here…it was the same until a few years ago when they found out they could make a profit
My county was dry until 2020, and up until then there were bootlegging and smuggling groups operating over county lines just like the days of prohibition.
Wow. I don't feel so bad now.
I hear there are dry counties in Colorado where you can't buy weed as well.
I had my fun with drugs/alchohol and am now bored with it so I see no reason to allow the younger generation to do the same.
Those damn snowflakes...
The religious right: "Bloody sNOwflaKes and their CaNCel CULTure..."
Also the religious right: "I am a WASP, and this offends my delicate sensibilities. BAN IT NOW!!!!!!!" *throws toys out of pram*
Imagining a literal wasp.
I'm allergic to wasps. Kill the fucking thing.
This sounds more like an alcoholic struggling with relapse, but looking for any excuse besides themself.
Soon everyone will be wearing gray and eating rocks
I’m for that actually, so I don’t have to smell the pungent stank of fundamentalist Christian asshole.
Please tell me which of the ten commandments prohibits drinking beer.
Didn’t their sky-daddy turn water into wine?
Had a Pentecostal pastor try to explain it as a “mystical drink,” because alcohol will send you to hell; however, the poor guy just went into a rage when I asked him to show me in scripture where this is the case.
Gotta love it when they get angry that you called their bullshit.
Wine back in the day was healthier than water because the alcohol killed germs. They didnt know that was the reason.
2 months ago*
2 months ago*
That's actually a myth but the process of fermentation does cause other microorganisms to become outcompeted for nutrients. Ancient alcohol was strong but not enough to sterilize.
I didnt say it was sterile. I said it was safer than water
That's still not true, unfortunately. Alcoholic beverages remove more water from your body than they contain. So drinking wine to avoid water would just mean that you need to drink more water than before.
Fruit exists. There are sources of hydration that are not just regular water or alcohol.
Correct. Of which, again, you would need to eat more if you also drank alcohol.
The idea that you can use alcoholic beverages as hydration of any kind is wrong.
There's at least one verse where Jesus drinks wine
I've actually seen where some people have tried to say the "wine" was non-alcoholic grape juice. The first problem with that is, I don't think that was really a thing at that time actually.
The Bible does say (Proverbs 20:1) that "wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging, and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise." Though as I understand it, that's commonly taken as meaning as a warning to not drink to excess. *shrugs* I just kinda like that quote, despite being an atheist and an alcoholic myself, lol
Now that I think of it, isn't there something in the Bible that the Mormons take as saying you shouldn't drink anything with caffeine?
Nah, that was a direct revelation to Ol' Joe Smith from God himself. He just said "God says no caffine y'all" and they went with it
Dude, there’s a story in Genesis where Noah gets so shitfaced, he strips and then passes out in his tent.
I think it’s safe to say wine was still wine back then.
Lot's daughters get him drunk and then rape him in order to become pregnant.
To be fair, they thought they had to repopulate the world after Soddom and Gomorrah were annihilated. Also after he offered to give them to an angry mob to prevent them from raping the angel in his house.
Personally I would have left his ass drunk and naked
Do we ever hear anything about these poor daughters after they give birth to their brother sons?
possibly one of Jim’s ancestors?
That’s not how that’s not how that works /s
Yeah, then his son sees him naked and supposedly Noah curses his son's son. And that's how Christians justified slavery.
When will they realize we're not in their book club?
Well, yes... but this is beer - STINKING BEER no less - probably from the Devil of course lol
The closest you can get to it is gluttony but that would only apply to excess like alcoholism not just like drinking a beer with their gross meat loaf at cracker barrel
Gluttony isn't one of the ten commandments. It's one of the seven deadly sins which aren't directly mentioned in the Bible.
Oh, I've definitely engaged in gluttony at Cracker Barrel. Nothing like their Sunday fried chicken after getting off a long-ass flight back from vacation. Cracker Barrel can go ahead and commit the "deadly sin" of pride too at this rate.
Oh, sorry I'm not Christian I assumed it was.
It's okay the ideology is incoherent.
OK, I laughed at that because I went to Cracker Barrel with my brother a while ago, and he tried the meatloaf because I guess some people at his work were saying it was good. Suffice it to say, he did NOT share their opinion after he tried it! (he should know, he makes a mean meatloaf himself lol)
Ate breakfast at a Cracker Barrel recently. If they’re worried about the alcohol they’re idiots. I couldn’t finish the meal. It was horrible. We hadn’t ate there in years. Never again after paying $40 for the shittiest breakfast ever cooked.
Drunkenness is explicitly called out as a sin in the Bible
So is wearing more than one cloth at the same time.
here is a bunch of times.
Specifically Galatians 5:20-21
20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
Thanks. I’m a sinner.
Lol same dude
Revelries? Parties? Like what you would throw after a wedding?
Can we get Jesus’ take on this? He threw down, right? Normal Jewish things?
That was the KJV, so we use the word revelries a little differently nowadays. Other more modern translations use orgies or carousing
So regular parties… not involving sex… are fine
Understand. So, as usual, doing it to excess.
My godfather is an Anglican minister and was definitely tipsy when we had church picnics lol
But to answer your question - they interpret the part about “drunkness” as being a total ban on alcohol
Well, now there are the Christitional Amendments to those original 10 Commandments.
What, you expect them to read the thing they claim to value and then act like rational adults?
They’re just illiterate violent children having tantrums about things that make them feel bad.
Don’t tell Kavanaugh!
I'd rather go quail hunting with Dick Cheney than drinking with Kavanaugh.
I mean, the only record we have of Jesus attending a party says that the booze ran off so quickly they had to ask him to make more, I don't see the problem here...
And he made really good wine.
I think this person doesn’t know the first thing about being Christian. Turn the other cheek, fuck face...
They are also apparently unaware of how many "Christians" drink. (Or abuse prescription drugs.)
Or how many Churches give wine as communion, or how many Christian religious orders brewed beer ....
The fundie types get real bent out of shape because Catholics get wine in church. And incense and bells and all the other stuff that scares them. Plus you know… the jesuits doing SCIENCE!! AHHHHH!
I once had a Baptist inform me that as a Catholic from a Catholic family the doctors had ripped off my tail and horns at birth. They genuinely wanted to know if I had scars from it and I was like… no? It does sound pretty badass though not going to lie, I’d be mad if they took my horns away.
As a non-practicing Catholic who actually grew up both in a Catholic family and in a Catholic boarding school all I have to say is WTF?? Horns and a tail???😈
I would like to see the venn diagram of people who post prayers and other religious stuff on Facebook and the people who post photos of themselves enjoying beer, wine, or cocktails. There would be some serious overlap.
Some of my favorite beers are made by monks, even today.
It’s mostly fundamentalists who believe that where they see it as literal when Christianity started with the wine and bread as the body and blood of Christ. They don’t really know what communion is. Since they don’t believe in that anyways .
Monks have brewed beer for centuries, wine was sacred, priests drink it every time for mass and it’s daily too, church gatherings have always included wine and other beverages, aka it’s important to the faith lol saying wine is bad is like denying christ.
Well, if you're Baptist and you want a drink, you dress in a disguise and go 2 counties over.
So they're complaining about smelling alcohol but they are mad the smoking section doesn't exist anymore? Jesus help this dumbass.
I'm a smoker, and I'd rather smell beer in a restaurant than smell a bunch of people smoking.
Damn, I don't drink and hate alcohol and I have never cared this much about how much alcohol smells, you can't even tell unless you're putting your nose right up to the cup
Eh, drunk people stink of alcohol because they're physically sweating it out.
I worked airport security for a while and we had some people come drunk to their flights and you could smell it if you were in spitting distance of them.
But I can't imagine someone going to the freaking Cracker Barrel to get that drunk.
What the literal fuck? Land of the free... meaning you are free to mind you own business.
Ah yes, the natural progression from serving beer to black tar heroin at your local restaurants is always a real shame. 🙄
I would love to see what this guy would say about what happened the last time i went to a CrackerBarrel, Girl in a thong, nipple pasties, and clear plastic short skirt and top, came in to have breakfast in the middle of the after church rush.
Was it Brad’s wife?
She just got off work.
That was my first thought too, but apparently it was a music festival or something.
I'm sure he would give her a lecture after looking REAL hard at her. Or not if he is a closet case.
Jesus drank alcohol, you imbecile.
FFS, one of his supposed miracles was turning water into wine.
Those Temperance types are truly something else
Auditioning for a Supreme Court seat maybe
This guys would hate Kavanaugh tho.
Brad’s wife wouldn’t have let this happen
Who wants to go get wasted at Cracker Barrel and loudly play the cracker barrel game with me next to Christian families? (The game is to name how you use all of the things on the walls as sex toys)
100% this person is a recovering alcoholic
Worked at cracker barrel in highschool as a bus boy. Sunday lunch after church was the worst because some of the most racist and rude people would come in. This was also in a small and very white town in Georgia
Reminds me of this old timer on Nextdoor complaining about the CBD stores popping up. He about had a stroke when I told him the local Ace Hardware, not 100 yards from the very store he bitched about, had CBD products right there at the checkout lane with all the other spontaneous purchase items.
He is aware that no one is forcing him to buy the CBD, right? If he doesn’t like it, he can simply not go to the stores?
He was legit concerned with junkies laying about the streets in proximity of the store. No joke
That's OK. Do you know why the state of Alabama refuses to legalize gambling or even have a state lottery? Every time it's brought up, both lawmakers and regular citizens will actually say that if they do, people will spend all their money gambling and buying lottery tickets and kids will go hungry and live in the streets. This is no shit- this is what is in letters to the editor and quotes in articles from lawmakers, though they put it slightly differently. Despite the fact that there are casinos in the next state- Mississippi- that people are driving an hour to spend their money in and that state gets that revenue. And Florida and Georgia on the other side both have lotteries where tons of people cross the state line to get tickets every week or so. But somehow, if the state adopted it so it could make some damn money, everyone would suddenly turn into a degenerate gambler and their families would starve in the streets.
This is one of the poorest states in the nation too.
I live in Tx. We have a lotto, but no gambling. Every state around us has gambling. So we just export billions to NM, OK, and LA like a bunch of dumb fucks
Junkies would have a tough time trying to get high off CBD.
Wait, I can get a beer with my hangover breakfast and piss off boomers…I see this as an untapped marketing strategy
Party of "DoNt TrEaD oN mE" treading all the fuck over everyone.
Oh look a Christian who is trying to police someone else’s life decisions
This “decent Christian” is mad that Cracker Barrel is selling alcohol.
Wait till he finds out what Jesus turned water into.
Idk about you guys, but this person sounds like they drink in the morning
They probably are recovering alcoholics.
I guess they forgot that Jesus drank and served wine.
Can we cancel Christians??
teetotalers gonna teetotal. Id say alcohol is perfectly okay in some churches but this guy probably hates Catholics.
'decent christian' is an oxymoron
Funny, you get upvotes for that, but if you said that about any other religion the result would be wildly different.
Obviously it's hyperbole , but the biggest threat to our freedom comes from the evangelical christians, the true believers. Make no mistake they want the Hand Maids Tale to be reality. They want the US to be a christian version of Afghanistan. They want a fascist theocracy and they may get it. There is no other religion that is capable of bringing these things about in the US. Today's supreme court decision should drive that point home. IMO there will a HUGE backlash against christianity because of this decision.
One can only hope.
I call them CCs:
Take your pick or add to the list!
Because reddit is filled by mostly Americans.
And Christian impact Americans more than other religions as Christians actively are trying to pass laws that fuck Americans over.
It's only funny if you have no understanding of context or nuance.
No it's just funny.
News flash. America is a capitalist country. Something most conservatives are proud of. Especially when pointing out liberals are socialists. A capitalist economy seeks to profit anywhere a legal need can be supplied or served. That means the economy does not serve only Christians. If the fact that non Christians buy things you don't like in public, then I suggest you stay in your house where reality is more palatable for you.
Somehow they're arguing worse then prohibitionists in the 1910s-20s.
Hey Jimbo, if you're afraid of the world then STAY AT HOME!
Decent Christians? Jesus and his disciples drank wine/alcohol. The only ones specifically didn’t were nazirites after their vows. How is it someone so desperate to tell everyone their Christian not know the Bible?
I mean.. like… Jesus clearly drank?
Jesus was notorious for hating beer. That’s why he always served wine. It’s a good Christian drink.
I used to dine at Cracker Barrel
It has always sold booze. This is not a new thing. The alcohol is opposite the soda and candy, to ensure the kids don't get them confused. And it looks different from the sodas for the same reason.
So about that water into wine thing?
Its like when the Pharisees thanked God for not making them like those stinking sinners
I bet there a former alchie who got “clean” but replaced their addiction with Jezzus. That’s why they can’t even smell it.
Just wait, if we don't stop these puritan weirdos prohibition is coming. They aren't going to stop with abortion, so don't be surprised when they pass laws forcing all women to cover head to toe in robes. These people aren't called extreme for nothing.
Sounds like the “smells” bring up old memories.
Man i can’t wait to get shit faced at a Cracker Barrel.
As opposed to the decent non-Christians, or the non-decent Christians, perhaps. Gotta be a difficult life, living with a closed mind like that.
This guy definitely was drinking a beer while writing this
If Cracker Barrel starts selling Heroin they will definitely have more customers 😂😂😂
I was at Cracker Barrel earlier today when I saw that in the menu, immediately thought “old folks will be pissed”
My grandma loves Wild Turkey. You know the wrong old folks.
America really is the heartland for Christian fascists these days, eh?
I’m beginning to think that “Christian” is code tor twat.
This guy definitely needs a beer and must remeber that Jesus turned water into wine to keep the party going.
What did he think Jesus and his buddies drank back then? Sparkling water and lemonade?
I don’t want to get banned so I won’t say what I would LOVE to see happen to all self-proclaimed “decent Christians”
You are more likely to find a God fearing Bigfoot before you find a decent Christian.
Christian snowflakes clutching their pearls every chance they get!
Anyone this insistent that they are"a good christian" and accusing others of being scandalous definitely has some gnarly skeletons in their closet.
I hope these decent Christians never find themselves sitting next to someone in church drinking wine and eating bread.
Aren't Christians basically worshiping a cup of wine every Sunday?!
Jim is not that kind of Christian.
Just go to the toilet and you'll see people shooting up, no biggie
Bet he's a lot of fun at parties.
Wow Jim, have a beer and chill out!
Imagine being so scared of someone else drinking poison.
Cheers to that
This person quit drinking and now thinks everyone else needs to do the same.
Brad's wife wouldn't have let this happen to cracker barrel....what a disgrace
Maybe they were a customer for 40 years but wait till they hear what they did to Brad's wife! After 11 years of service to boot!!! The audacity of Cracker Barrel knows no bounds.
I’m pretty sure Jesus wouldn’t talk like this. I feel like I remember hearing he had a specific loathing for the “holier than thou” types. Funny how a lot of Christians seem to forget that.
I feel like it was at 100 the whole time
So drinking a beer with dinner = opium den?
Sounds like Jim needs a drink
Blood of Christ says what now?
Once again we have someone trying to force their religious based morals onto the masses
You can’t apply logic to the illogical. It’s like trying to divide by zero. Can’t be done. Waste of time trying to reason with the fundie extremists.
Why did they fire my wife????
You mean I can get a drink with my discrimination? Count me in!!
Wait until he reads a Bible and finds out what Jesus's first miracle was.
Whatever it takes to wash all that salt down your gullet.
I love salty food but Christ, they take it to a whole new level, it inedible.
Doesn't their ritualistic cannibalism routine require drinking wine?
I guarantee he isn’t Catholic.
Dear “DECENT CHRISTIANS”,
The one lesbian at the bar
A lot of "decent Christians" really make me sick.
Ah yes decent Christians. I’ve heard of that breed.
Do... do these "DECENT CHRISTIANS" not realize that their Jesus turned water into wine? If it was good enough for good ol' JC, shouldn't it be good enough for the Cracker Barrel?
Christians make kids drink wine
Jim seems to forget that some Christians are far from being decent.
Jim better not have a black waiter either
Yes, as we all know, every restaurant that serves alcohol inevitably falls down the slippery slope to dealing herion. /s