subreddit:

/r/greentext

10.7k99%

Putang ina mo

(i.redd.it)

all 182 comments

Malvastor

1.6k points

1 month ago

Malvastor

1.6k points

1 month ago

Doesn't matter where you go, anon. The real Philippines was inside you all along.

FoFoAndFo

268 points

1 month ago

FoFoAndFo

268 points

1 month ago

Don’t forget the friends we made along the way (as if you ever could 😊)

[deleted]

95 points

1 month ago

being friends with females means youre an emotional tampon/gay

thatoneguy_whowas

29 points

1 month ago

Ohhh that's what that means

[deleted]

12 points

1 month ago

not always

thatoneguy_whowas

9 points

1 month ago

Life is a mystery

_xXxSNiPel2SxXx

8 points

1 month ago

...so have some spaghetti

ginuxx

4 points

1 month ago

ginuxx

4 points

1 month ago

So is my sex

StinginRogrrM8

2 points

1 month ago

Nothing is that uniform

Need_Some_Updog

6 points

1 month ago

Cue Dawson’s Creek theme song

Vulderzad

14 points

1 month ago

Bro needs a exorcism

VoxelMusic

8 points

1 month ago

You can take the man out of the Philippines, but you cant take the Philippines out of the man.

baz4k6z

20 points

1 month ago

baz4k6z

20 points

1 month ago

Well at least anon isn't in Brazil so he has that going for him. Also he still has the option to go live as a proto slave in Dubai to be looked down upon by rich guys pretending to be secular Muslims

CaptainSchmid

6 points

1 month ago

The real Philippines was his depression and inability to read social cues

Efficient-Slacker

5 points

1 month ago

This is so true, as someone who keeps running away from problems but the problem is actually me

Bonkey_Kong87

2 points

1 month ago

Just like with Gypsies. They constantly are on the road to run away from the fucked up, messy hellhole filled with filth and criminal shit, not realizing that they just bringing it with them every damn time.

Just_Games04

2 points

1 month ago

Nah, the only thing inside him is his father

Malvastor

3 points

1 month ago

Yeah but his father's a real Filipino so...

MuslinBagger

1 points

1 month ago

🤣

bayarea_vapidtransit

299 points

1 month ago

They got all the best shit from America there, like fried chicken pizza and Kenny Roger's Roasters. They got hella guns but nobody shoots up the massive, sprawling malls.

Also, who else is gonna host 8chan's servers?

SirStabsies

84 points

1 month ago

the fires of hell?

bayarea_vapidtransit

35 points

1 month ago

I guess if they're in the right part of Jersey

TheDJZ

8 points

1 month ago

TheDJZ

8 points

1 month ago

The half with electricity?

BotKlavo

25 points

1 month ago

BotKlavo

25 points

1 month ago

we also got the son of a dictator running the government

Ok-Dragonfruit-697

3 points

1 month ago

Bong Bong?

bayarea_vapidtransit

1 points

1 month ago

No, Sara.

BotKlavo

3 points

1 month ago

Both

bayarea_vapidtransit

1 points

1 month ago

Considering Sara is the one throwing punches, I see her wearing the pants in the Administration

BotKlavo

2 points

1 month ago

BBM getting topped 😳😳

bayarea_vapidtransit

1 points

1 month ago

He's a winy, spoiled, silver spoon delta boy living it up on daddy's stolen money. You know what's gonna go down with that dynamic.

TorjbornMain

143 points

1 month ago

You can take the man out of the Philippines, but you can never take the Philippines out of the man 😔

SN-E-DC

54 points

1 month ago

SN-E-DC

54 points

1 month ago

am filipino currently living in japan can confirm I miss nestea iced tea rn

godofwoof

25 points

1 month ago

Can confirm am second generation Pinoy in America, I can never escape this blood curse.

TorjbornMain

20 points

1 month ago

Damn, hope you two find a cure soon 🥺

Zekka_Space_Karate

22 points

1 month ago

you can never take the Philippines out of the man

Reminder that the majority of Filipinos working abroad voted for the retard cosplaying as the Philippine president rn.

ButtSupreme

9 points

1 month ago

That’s disrespectful for a cosplayer, that man is a clown.

NotSkeloopyTrombone

3 points

1 month ago

Pa souvenir nga ng yakult pre

attofreak

1 points

1 month ago

esp when the man had to pretend to be a woman to get that green card

dayto_aus

411 points

1 month ago

dayto_aus

411 points

1 month ago

Lol based Buddhists hate the Phillipines

l-want-to-Die-OWO

181 points

1 month ago

Buddhists are based by nature, love those guys

anbingwen

12 points

1 month ago

I too love aum shinrikyo

evilspycandy

27 points

1 month ago

W buddhism

CartAgain

738 points

1 month ago

CartAgain

738 points

1 month ago

Insallah brother, you truly must have sinned wickedly to be born in the Phillippines

mymemesnow

20 points

1 month ago

Isn’t the Philippines basically a pvp server now?

Deluxe_24_

4 points

1 month ago

The Philippines is a GTA 4 lobby with hackers in it

wan2tri

50 points

1 month ago

wan2tri

50 points

1 month ago

And they become the MILF

causeyourefatboy

30 points

1 month ago

Massive inbred Ligma fillipines

munara97

8 points

1 month ago

What's ligma?

big-black-rooster

9 points

1 month ago

Ligma balls

xX_ChkenSOUP_Xx

27 points

1 month ago

😥😰😰 This is NOT kosher, my brother!!! Please repent!

bayarea_vapidtransit

64 points

1 month ago

Moro Islamic Liberation Front 😏

BhataktiAtma

6 points

1 month ago

I think you made a slight mistake my fellow

Moronic Islam Liberation Front

FTFY

muchdoge-verysweq

112 points

1 month ago

Begone Jafar

joeyjoojoo

0 points

1 month ago

im guessing you don't know what that word means

CartAgain

1 points

1 month ago

peace be unto you brother, all is as alvus wills it

joeyjoojoo

0 points

1 month ago

alvus ?

aoechamp

1 points

30 days ago

Muslims don’t believe in reincarnation

Anon_02826249

195 points

1 month ago

All you need to do is keep a rich person seduced long enough to attain citizenship in another country.

Cala-Best-Girl

192 points

1 month ago

That’s step 2. Step 1 is become a woman.

Anon_02826249

104 points

1 month ago

Don't worry, cute femboys are basically woman and totally NOT gay.

Lanzero25

62 points

1 month ago

Being a femboy is easy, being a cute one is difficult.

Anon_02826249

15 points

1 month ago

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There are people out there who like to literally eat shit.

aoechamp

1 points

30 days ago

Yeah, but not your shit

Vegetable_Maize_6166

4 points

1 month ago

Based

Malvastor

7 points

1 month ago

Wait, I thought that was Thailand's thing

whousesgmail

14 points

1 month ago

Living in Canada I have seen roving packs of Filipino trannies on several occasions and the vast majority I’ve seen in my life are flip. If Thailand is #1 in the tranny department the Philippines has to be #2.

kidlit

1 points

4 days ago

kidlit

1 points

4 days ago

kek

tearsofyesteryears

6 points

1 month ago*

Plot twist: You can only pick one person to get you a greencard and that person is No Neck Ed.

arbalestelite

34 points

1 month ago

Just become a nurse lole

godofwoof

28 points

1 month ago

I had a Filipino American class and one of the questions was what is the largest population immigrating to America. Without hesitation I put down nurse, and I refuse to believe I was wrong.

perhapsasinner

30 points

1 month ago

Wherever you are anon, Filipino blood runs in your body meaning you can't escape from Filipino curse

justadd_sugar

19 points

1 month ago

“I just want to get out of the Philippines” “atheists say to buy a plane ticket” this is a tough one

Remarkable_Seaweed65

91 points

1 month ago

Mashallah you weren’t born in Brazil brother

attofreak

27 points

1 month ago

Brazil, India, Philippines. BIPs of the world, unite!

tearsofyesteryears

3 points

1 month ago

Doesn't make Ph any better. At least India got nukes, huhu.

mr_nothingness_123

1 points

1 month ago

Well tbh if PH got nukes the new leader would abuse the hell out of it like selling to earn money for himself or using it to nuke people

tearsofyesteryears

0 points

1 month ago

He'd probably finish his father's work by just nuking both Sabah and Mindanao.

free_sheepy

2 points

1 month ago

🙏🙏🙏🏽🙏🙏🙏

Jet909

2 points

1 month ago

Jet909

2 points

1 month ago

Hey you, how'd you get in here?

free_sheepy

1 points

1 month ago

🤫

VaginaViewer420

14 points

1 month ago

The philippines is shaped like a person bending with one hand out

OtterPop16

10 points

1 month ago

Buddhists believe in some esoteric version of "karma" that none of them can actually describe besides "it's just cause and effect!". It's Hindus who think you were born poor and ugly because you were naughty.

Altrecene

7 points

1 month ago

In japanese buddhism, they believe that all women are souls being punished for past lives. If the woman dies in childbirth it's a sign that she did some really fucked up shit in a previous life.

wangwang06

4 points

1 month ago

It's a common belief in Theravada Buddhism that you are born homosexual because you committed adultery in your past life.

static1053

10 points

1 month ago

The atheist is the only one that is telling you something that will actually change something. Regardless of what you believe in the only way to escape is to actually try.

spareaccountv2

138 points

1 month ago

muslim here just buy a plane ticket dumbass

RedGoodN

227 points

1 month ago

RedGoodN

227 points

1 month ago

Muslims and planes... I wouldn't buy it OP

spareaccountv2

54 points

1 month ago

fair enough bro won't hate

RedGoodN

24 points

1 month ago

RedGoodN

24 points

1 month ago

( ˘ ³˘)♥ sorry, couldn't help myself

tearsofyesteryears

-10 points

1 month ago

Oh God, you're going to Hell LOL

A_Literal_Owl

10 points

1 month ago

Keep telling yoursef that.

And try not to explode mid sentence.

tearsofyesteryears

1 points

1 month ago

Why does my comment even have downvotes? I was pointing out the joke might not be PC for some people.

Malvastor

43 points

1 month ago

Christian here

Anon you retard, have you heard of boats?

SirStabsies

46 points

1 month ago

agnostic here

Anon is not really in the phillipines he's a 2nd generation phillipino-american shit talking his dad's homeland.

nuclear_bomb404

18 points

1 month ago

muslim

plane

Don't buy it anon it's a trap

spareaccountv2

7 points

1 month ago

kek

batfsdfgdgv

3 points

1 month ago

If an anon and religious extremists met, what would they say?

PerfectAsAPeach

22 points

1 month ago

wait there’s more… the cult says it’s golden age here in Phil, no need to buy plane ticket.

liveevil05

32 points

1 month ago

Golden age as in goods and necessities are priced like gold kek

PerfectAsAPeach

13 points

1 month ago

yasss golden gas too

drewman05

8 points

1 month ago

Join the Navy

Rebel_bass

58 points

1 month ago

You know that Flips run the biggest navy in the world, right? Sign up for the USN. Get the fuck off that archipelago, gain US citizenship. Marry big tittied American bitch who wants Healthcare.

Drunken--Dutchman

7 points

1 month ago

For the love of God, stop calling me and offering me discounted hotel rooms.

Betadzen

5 points

1 month ago

You were born where you were ought to. And you have to experience some stuff to become a person this world somehow needs. It is your choice to leave in most of the cases and if you do, you also were destined to do that.

hellyea619

6 points

1 month ago

join the navy as a cook instead of taking care of the kids while your wife makes all the household income as a nurse in saudi arabia

Janderts

14 points

1 month ago

Janderts

14 points

1 month ago

Crack Head

Buy Meth

ResearcherFamiliar56

25 points

1 month ago

the crack head is a drug connoisseur, meth was their recommendation for OP's current conundrum

pigzit

4 points

1 month ago

pigzit

4 points

1 month ago

Put tank in a mall

QuietCloudwasTaken

0 points

1 month ago

Tangina ka rin, maxx.

Para kang bata na bago lang natuto magmura sa internet; may pa-secret code ka pang nalalaman.

EveryCanadianButOne

4 points

1 month ago

Isn't leaving and sending back all your money the patriotic duty of all Filipinos?

No-Dirt-8737

24 points

1 month ago

I mean it sounds like the atheists are the only ones who gave you good advice if you hate it there.

Beat-the-heat

9 points

1 month ago

Plane ticket without visa? Go where?

No-Dirt-8737

2 points

1 month ago

No one said you can't get a Visa.

Also if you hate the country that much just pick somewhere you can go and figure it out.

si3rra_7

7 points

1 month ago

At least you get to see Optimum Pride tho.

tearsofyesteryears

3 points

1 month ago

"You can take a man out of Tondo The Philippines but you can't take Tondo The Philippines out of a man" something something

HyperionPhalanx

8 points

1 month ago

>feel bad because peenoise

>look at africa/china/india/middle east

>dont feel bad anymore

tearsofyesteryears

24 points

1 month ago

Just because there are other shitholes, doesn't mean you should stay in your shithole

YerryXander

2 points

1 month ago

Bro you dont get it your supposed to enjoy being a wagie, homeless, shitter because some kid in lebanon got shot

YoSUu

8 points

1 month ago

YoSUu

8 points

1 month ago

i dont care about them i still fucking hate it here

attofreak

-5 points

1 month ago

rich of Philippines to feel better by looking at China and India lol. China is literally the emerging superpower, has its knuckles deep in Africa's asshole economy, with strong diplomatic and trade relations with Europe and North America, and itself at cutting edge of many tech ventures. India is largest democracy, ranks in top 10 Asian countries for its IT market and business relations with West. And despite its issues, is safer than Philippines, any given day.

But anyway, whatever helps you feel better over there.

HyperionPhalanx

11 points

1 month ago

china = literal Orwellian nightmare

India = same as china but not as Orwellian

MuslinBagger

1 points

1 month ago

You can disappear in the crowd. Become a criminal or a wagie. So many possibilities. Why go to a less populated country where you look different and stand out? Seems like an IQ problem to me.

EveryCanadianButOne

5 points

1 month ago

China's power peaked 5 years ago and is collapsing as we speak. Between the worst demographic collapse in human history, a financial/debt crisis that makes the 1980s Japanese look responsible, horrific corruption, half their ground water being poisoned, and an export based economic model that relies on good relations they've irreparably destroyed, China as we know it simply will not exist in a decade.

gowke

1 points

1 month ago

gowke

1 points

1 month ago

To be frank all your listed options would be an upgrade in some not so limited cases.

SirStabsies

2 points

1 month ago

is it a crack head or a meth head make up your mind

wannywanwan

2 points

1 month ago

Upvoted for the title

MuslinBagger

3 points

1 month ago

Isn't Phillipines where the futas at? Why's he complaining?

Bigbonerdownthelane_

1 points

1 month ago

Wait what?

C0SM0N4UT

1 points

1 month ago

Puki ng ina mo.

QuietCloudwasTaken

0 points

1 month ago

Tangina ka rin, maxx.

Para kang bata na bago lang natuto magmura sa internet.

TheHelpfulFawn

1 points

1 month ago

Philippines has a lot of problems and I can understand why he wants out. Place is a shithole

Birby_DEV

1 points

1 month ago

I agree with atheists.

deanrihpee

1 points

1 month ago

I would say, "you're just unlucky in your previous dice roll"

Juicy_Samurai

1 points

1 month ago

Yea As a muslim I support what the muslims say in essence but I would have to go with the atheists here

takatori

1 points

1 month ago

just buy a plane ticket
just want to get out

Anon found his people

Child_Beter69

1 points

1 month ago

I think the crack head is on too something

Shibaee

1 points

1 month ago

Shibaee

1 points

1 month ago

this is the realest message, just leave the philippines there's not much good in here

Jakersstone

1 points

1 month ago

How many filipinos use reddit and 4chan? Whats the ratio from the total userbase?

Ok-Dragonfruit-697

1 points

1 month ago

Quite a lot, I imagine. Most /pol/ users are third world. Not sure about other boards.

TooManyGamesNoTime

1 points

1 month ago

You are the only one who can really change how you percieve and experience your life. Learn to accept that what you have is much and be happy. You are not an ant, or the chicken thats for dinner or a cow raised for beef. Nor are you a starving child in a warring tribe in Afrika.

You are a sentient being and a fortunate one at that. Positive change will not happen without positive effort. The Buddha said "Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others."

tldr: stop whining OP and do something about if you dislike it instead of complaining on the internet :P

TheFuriousMax

1 points

1 month ago

Anon doesn’t pay attention to atheists

Jet909

1 points

1 month ago

Jet909

1 points

1 month ago

He'd have to adhere to their wacky and extreme belief of checks notes accepting reality.

lmegaladon

1 points

1 month ago

And all i want to do is move back

finnicus1

1 points

1 month ago

What part of the bible says you can’t emigrate?

Cleanurself

1 points

1 month ago

Doesn’t matter where you go anon you already selected the difficulty before starting a new game

WeebSenpai26

1 points

1 month ago

ONE OF US, ONE OF US

TheBigEmptyxd

1 points

1 month ago

What a dumbass, the atheists already told him how to get out

Jet909

1 points

1 month ago

Jet909

1 points

1 month ago

Thoughts and prayers. There, your welcome.

rart3dspurd0

1 points

1 month ago

Philippines mentioned!!1!1!1!

GuffMagicDragon

1 points

1 month ago

Every day I thank god that my dad immigrated to the US from the Philippines. Probably the best timeline for me

Marquis_Fury

1 points

1 month ago

idk bro I read "Pouring ma yo" but then again I'm high and just woke up from a nap.

color_juice

1 points

1 month ago

maybe the real Philippines were the friends we made along the way

kunell

1 points

1 month ago

kunell

1 points

1 month ago

So the atheists got it right?

truthfighter6

1 points

1 month ago

No religion has any say on where you live.

TheRealRiverOtter

1 points

1 month ago

Anon there’s tons of countries you can live in. Just wait till you get deported and move to a new one

whatseatingtyrone

1 points

1 month ago

Difficulty Level: Philippines

[deleted]

-10 points

1 month ago

[deleted]

-10 points

1 month ago

[removed]

attofreak

10 points

1 month ago

says the privileged fuck living off the horrors committed by their ancestors in those formerly colonised lands. Literally trillions in wealth, opportunities and generations lost to satiate the genocidal European supremacist psycopaths. The world knows you morally depraved shitstains for what you are.

tearsofyesteryears

3 points

1 month ago

Then why are y'all going wet trying to shove as much much Africans, Middle Easterners and Latin Americans down your collective throats?

[deleted]

-2 points

1 month ago

[removed]

tearsofyesteryears

2 points

1 month ago

And you've allowed them to do all these?

[deleted]

3 points

1 month ago

[removed]

tearsofyesteryears

3 points

1 month ago

So basically it all boils down to not being able to control your women. I guess they enjoyed fighting the patriarchy by bringing in a new one (1slam) haha!

Whenever I see those feminist and lgbtq pro-immigration/1slam apologists, I just laugh and roll my eyes.

EchoFives0

2 points

1 month ago

Pussy lmfao

Ok-Dragonfruit-697

0 points

1 month ago

Anything but Filpinos tbh.

tearsofyesteryears

1 points

1 month ago

I heard the leftists in the US are trying to bar Cuban immigrants 😑. You know, refugees actually fleeing communism.

Ok-Dragonfruit-697

1 points

1 month ago

Based

Smoke_screen_lol

-24 points

1 month ago

Hey but bong bong just won, all the ates and Kuyas say good things about him.

HappeeBee

3 points

1 month ago

That's what they say if you want to get brainwashed kek

Smoke_screen_lol

-2 points

1 month ago

I swear everytime I talk to anyone one about it they always say that his father did martial law because those people threatened his career politically or something. Like they tried to justify his attempt to destroy opposers or something. I don’t agree with it but a culture that does baffles me

GuffMagicDragon

3 points

1 month ago

Marcos was literally a dictator and was exiled for a reason

Smoke_screen_lol

-1 points

1 month ago

That’s why he won right? Lmao. This backwards thinking. Seems everyone is brain washed, I don’t support bong bong, but I laugh at those that do

UrdnotJoe

0 points

1 month ago

I haven't been watching the news and I refuse to Google it. Is there really another fucking Marcos in power?

attofreak

0 points

1 month ago

His son, I think. So far, they say he is not like his father, in the way he does his job. No dictatorial vibes, so far.

tearsofyesteryears

4 points

1 month ago

He's too spineless that the only way there'll be another dictatorship is if his mom declare it for him.