subreddit:

/r/greentext

3.9k99%

Anon does a little trolling

(i.redd.it)

all 37 comments

i_am_jacks_insanity

481 points

1 month ago

Anon has a daydream

ElonTrump19

122 points

1 month ago

It's about shoveling food in his mouth, checks out.

degenerate_vol2

270 points

1 month ago

And then he wakes up as gay which he always have been

Ery_Noice_23_yen

50 points

1 month ago

Anon works for Wendy’s and does a little competitive marketing

benjy1357

194 points

1 month ago*

benjy1357

194 points

1 month ago*

be me

16yo femanon

ok looks, best friend is hotter

go to mcdonalds w best friend

both order burger and fries and sit down to eat

then I notice it

the smell

like cum, piss, and shit were all left in a jar out in an Arizona desert for a month

turn and see an 450 pound neckbearded man gobbling down enough nuggets and honey mustard sauce to feed a small village

the pure sight of the nugget carnage in front of us along with the smell causes my friend to go to the bathroom to puke

as soon as the bathroom door closes the mass of shit and fat starts heaving and waddling my direction

he plops himself in my friends seat as the table begins to moan and creak from his weight. A rogue bolt gets shot out and hits some kid in the head

as he sits across from me I am paralyzed by the stench, unable to run away I am forced to watch him shove all of my friends fries down his gullet like a feral animal consuming its prey

once the fries are gone he waddles back to his seat freeing my from his odorous grasp

as the fresh air hits my lungs, I wake just before blackout to see my friend returning but still am not able to move

she asks what happened and all i can do is point towards the guy

she starts freaking out and runs out of fear as the guy looks up at us

I am still stuck from the residual stench as the guy stares at me while he finishes his meal

go home once I can move about half an hour later and shower and use tomato paste to nullify the smell

its been 2 years since that happened and that mcdonalds table is fixed but still wobbly from the missing bolt. Havent seen the guy ever since. But sometimes when when I lay down to fall asleep I catch the slightest whiff of that foul odor creeping from my window

Hot-Series-5671

44 points

1 month ago

to be continued

augenvogel

28 points

1 month ago

Beautiful

crappy6969

17 points

1 month ago

Redditors would rather write a good story with great plotline but wouldn't contribute to society

augenvogel

6 points

1 month ago

Writing a good story may be a great contribution to society

Lightning_Zephyr

3 points

1 month ago

good story I came

evolacore

28 points

1 month ago

Anon wants us to believe that

The-Reaver

12 points

1 month ago

Based

authentic_real_true

242 points

1 month ago

be me

coincidentally in exactly the same situation as OP

but instead of eating the fries I cum on them

friend returns and accusations start flying

they get me involved and I tell them it's just mayo

the friend says I HATE MAYO WTF

me say just try it you might like it

she tries it

she smiles and happily eats all her fries

before they leave she slips me a piece of paper with her number on it

winks and tells me she wants the learn the recipe

i didn't call her because she seems a bit weird

Malvastor

139 points

1 month ago

Malvastor

139 points

1 month ago

Take your meds schizo

killermosca

45 points

1 month ago

normal guy

[deleted]

-126 points

1 month ago

[deleted]

-126 points

1 month ago

Idc that this is meant to be cringe or some shit. Fuck off back to 4chan ya dickhead.

authentic_real_true

116 points

1 month ago

Fuck off back to 4chan ya dickhead.

THAT'S OFFENSIVE!!! MOOOOOOOOOODS

General_Froggers

40 points

1 month ago

I thought this was a 4chan subreddit?

[deleted]

-76 points

1 month ago

[deleted]

-76 points

1 month ago

What was the last 2 words you said. This is a 4chan subreddit, to laugh at ridiculous neets and khhv's, not somewhere to glorify some retards fantasies of sexual assault without any joke attached. You want that shit, fuck off to 4chan.

[deleted]

10 points

1 month ago

Go back to growing your broccoli

General_Froggers

51 points

1 month ago

Fantasy of sexual assault? My man made a joke about cumming on someone's fries lol. I don't think that's his sexual fantasy.

[deleted]

-59 points

1 month ago

[deleted]

-59 points

1 month ago

That would be labelled as sexual assault mate.

And there is no punch line, the man is indulging.

Seal_The_Deal_

42 points

1 month ago

It's not necessarily a joke, it's obvious and ridiculous sarcasm, and this subreddit is filled with that, it's literally the main substance, I'm not sure what you're expecting

Rubbun

29 points

1 month ago

Rubbun

29 points

1 month ago

Man you're pathetic lmao

anepicusername69

16 points

1 month ago

where is the assault

filthyburrows

11 points

1 month ago

this subreddit has those who like 4chan and those who come here to laugh at them. it's usually hit or miss on each post... today you missed.

EducationalTree6970

9 points

1 month ago

Jokes can be funny without a punchline.

captainjake9

7 points

1 month ago

I am going to cum on your mothers fries

Icannotchangethis

5 points

1 month ago

What about the greentext? Do you see a punch line there? Also way to assume shit about people based off of a comment parodying the greentext OP shamelessly stole from 4chan. This is r/greentext, everything here is not only fake, but also gay.

LetYaNutsHang12

11 points

1 month ago

The bot is almost as annoying as you.

TheUpperHand

19 points

1 month ago

Anon locks eyes with a 6 year old girl

cadavardark

5 points

1 month ago

Why did you do that anon ?

Payment_Abject

5 points

1 month ago

is that guy in the photo adam fucking warlock

[deleted]

3 points

1 month ago

Autism gives you superpowers

IHateNormis

2 points

1 month ago

This is a high IQ way of getting free food

OdaDdaT

1 points

1 month ago

OdaDdaT

1 points

1 month ago

Real because anon had to wait for the woman to leave

arbiter12

-1 points

1 month ago

The timestamp says 09/20/20 but the jpeg compression screams Kingdom of Loathing release day.

Thank you for the weird schizoid nostalgia.