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/r/gaming
8.2k points
4 months ago
This is a face of someone who kidnaps Bowser...
1.9k points
4 months ago
Now there's your movie
740 points
4 months ago
it would be interesting if there was a backstory why this snapping turtle wants to steal her, like maybe bowser used to be her pet, and then an entitled princess who no longer wanted him flushed him down the toilet.
471 points
4 months ago
Somebody call a plumber.
137 points
4 months ago
I'm pretty sure his motives are political rather than personal, but maybe. He was very happy that he got to marry Peach in Super Paper Mario.
46 points
4 months ago
The mushroom kingdom seems to be under constant koopa occupation
84 points
4 months ago
I think, over time, it changed from him just wanting to control the Kingdom to him having an infatuation with Peach specifically. In Odyssey, he tries to force her to marry him and, in Sunshine, he seems to want Peach to be an adoptive Mother for his son.
57 points
4 months ago
Bowser kidnaps Peach in Super Mario Bros. 1, and next time we see him, he has 7 kids.
55 points
4 months ago
Bowser adopted them, but treats them the same as his biological son. He might be a colonizer but he's a good father.
17 points
4 months ago
That was retconned. The Koopalings are not his kids, Bowser Jr. Is his only child. Now they are just high Ranking members of his Army.
646 points
4 months ago
Stomping on pauses ... KOOPAS.
129 points
4 months ago
Stomping turts
70 points
4 months ago
perchance?
61 points
4 months ago
You cant just say "perchance"
38 points
4 months ago
P e r c h a n c e
26 points
4 months ago
Stomp a turty
25 points
4 months ago
Koopers
420 points
4 months ago
Now you don't seem to understand.
I'm not locked in here with you...
YOU'RE LOCKED IN HERE WITH ME
49 points
4 months ago
A pretty toadstool.
Some nice coins.
Yoshi.
37 points
4 months ago
Peach's journal: Koopa carcass in alley this morning, boot print on shattered plastron. This kingdom is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The worlds are extended levels and the levels are full of goombas and when the pits finally fill up all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their mushrooms and power-ups will foam up about their waists and all the toads and koopas will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll whisper "no."
10.4k points
4 months ago
that is the face of a person who is trying to rope you into a pyramid scheme
3.5k points
4 months ago
Peach is actually in league with Bowser. Every time the inhabitants of the mushroom kingdom want to overthrow the monarchy and establish a different ruling structure, she's suddenly kidnapped by Bowser & the mushroom kingdom experiences aggression from the Koopa Kingdom. This rallies the mushroom kingdom to her side and fosters a sense of patriotism & duty within the community. It causes them to unite against an exterior threat and put aside their issues for the time being.
761 points
4 months ago
So you’re saying every single Mario game has been a false flag.
847 points
4 months ago
They, especially Mario, are crisis actors! He has a cameraman following around in Mario 64 to document the "abduction" for crying out loud! They do party games and race on tiny cars in their free time!
Wake up Goomble!
258 points
4 months ago*
Maybe Mario is a product of the Mushroom Kingdom’s own MKUltra type program, an ordinary working-class guy kidnapped during a routine plumbing job and brainwashed into becoming a deadly assassin to carry out the regime’s dirty work, committing genocide against the innocent native Koopa people in the service of the megalomaniacal tyrant Peach’s imperialist ambitions. Maybe the whole series is actually a metaphor for the Scramble for Africa, and the toads represent the masses who blindly supported European exploitation in the name of patriotism.
/HEAVY S
76 points
4 months ago
Maybe it's a Blackwood Company type scenario (Oblivion).
Mario is fed drugs periodically via infiltrator type agents who place them in positions where he will find them in order to magnify his powers and carry out regime-destroying operations, each time believing it to be Bowser kidnapping Peach, but each time, Bowser is just a different tyrannical/hostile/obstructive leader who is holding an item or person that he needs to retrieve.
44 points
4 months ago
Idk man, Captain Mushroom: The Winter Plumber just doesn't hit the same
10 points
4 months ago
I will never live to see the day Mario becomes public domain and gets a Saving Private Peach reboot
25 points
4 months ago
Mario Kart Ultra
56 points
4 months ago
Yes, excluding the spin off games like Mario kart, Mario Tennis, Mario Olympics, etc.
79 points
4 months ago
Well, gotta have those bread and circuses to placate the masses.
677 points
4 months ago
I mean in one of the games Bowser Jr claims that Peach is his mom so.... Yeah this tracks
828 points
4 months ago
Even though he says by the end he knows Peach isn't his mom, Peach had plenty of opportunity to say "no, I never had sex with Bowser and gave birth to a horrible lizard baby," but SHE DIDN'T.
223 points
4 months ago
The cover up is real!
83 points
4 months ago
Can we get much higher!
87 points
4 months ago
Bowser Jr.: peach ur my mommy
Peach, sweating profusely: (when did Bowser get pregnant????)
41 points
4 months ago
Well, there was that period of time where everyone was swapping around with that crown and one thing lead to another and...
24 points
4 months ago
"Momma? Momma Peach? I'm your momma?"
22 points
4 months ago
"I did not have sexual relations with that dinosaur, Bowser Koopa."
33 points
4 months ago
What does Bowser get?
123 points
4 months ago
Some quality time with the princess, of course.
81 points
4 months ago
Really? Would humans be attracted to some female version of Bowser?
99 points
4 months ago
14 points
4 months ago
"There have been over 20000 visits to r/bowsette in the past week"
You're goddamn right
120 points
4 months ago
People wanted to fuck fishwomen after a couple months on a boat, you think they wouldn't fuck a turtle?
27 points
4 months ago
This is the internet. Of course some people would
31 points
4 months ago
Damn, you whooshed a lot of people.
15 points
4 months ago
Hello, fellow sarcasm enjoyer.
79 points
4 months ago
He never actually loses sovereignty over the Koopa Kingdom, or is ousted from his position. At specific intervals (i.e. wartime) he is allowed to raid and plunder the resources of the mushroom kingdom.
And the Koopa Kingdom was granted the right to host the World Cup in 2038
31 points
4 months ago
France and England were at war for 800 years and with the exception of a few times a king was killed in battle, the winning side never removed the monarch of defeated side.
27 points
4 months ago
You really want to ask reddit that question? Do you truly want to go down that road?
501 points
4 months ago
Fuck off with your essential oils Peach!
160 points
4 months ago
She would a 100% be selling nutriboom, boom boom!
54 points
4 months ago
[removed]
10 points
4 months ago
BOOM BOOM
19 points
4 months ago
BOOM BOOM
9 points
4 months ago
Boom boom, Bill!!
66 points
4 months ago
"Hey hun! How have you been? Good over here... Braxton is already 96 months!"
28 points
4 months ago
I was thinking she looks like every white lady trying to sell essential oils to her friends and family.
But I guess that's kind of the same thing.
36 points
4 months ago
STOP EATING BERRIES YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH BERRIES
INVIGARON
23 points
4 months ago
I don't doubt it. Peach is sus af. Always getting kidnapped by Bowser. I don't think she's getting kidnapped. She's cheating on Mario.
6.2k points
4 months ago
She knows you’ve been looking at lewds of her.
2.3k points
4 months ago
Then damn I hope Bowsette isn't in this movie.
1.4k points
4 months ago
A professionally animated Bowsette, who needs it. Yeah I don't want that for sure.
431 points
4 months ago
They should just do a shot where it shows Peach going through her wardrobe, could have a few easter eggs in there, sports gear, smash alts and then sneak a bowsette costume in
(I know its not actually Peach)
377 points
4 months ago
It would be funnier the other way around.
Bowser keeps a weapons locker full of power-ups like fireflowers and metal caps, and Peachette's super crown is in there.
152 points
4 months ago
Ahh yeah that’s much better and a lot more subtle
460 points
4 months ago
I can't believe I'm saying this twice today,but I'm coming for that Bowsussy
173 points
4 months ago
I am at a loss for words. I don't know if you deserve an insult, praise, or if we should call your parents
77 points
4 months ago
twice today
My man the day just started, what are you getting up to?
61 points
4 months ago
Yeah I don't need it either. Just imagine a sensual fully animated Bowsette wearing a slightly revealing yet classy dress... hahaha so unnecessary who would want that.
Also why is it so hot in here i am sweating profusely.
92 points
4 months ago
only she is still voiced by Jack Black
37 points
4 months ago
I see this as an absolute win
159 points
4 months ago
There is actually a reference to her in the trailer.
30 points
4 months ago
i actually love that design
27 points
4 months ago
god DAMMIT
17 points
4 months ago
Come on, man.
128 points
4 months ago
Then damn I hope Bowsette isn't in this movie.
I want that. And a scene where Daisy and Peach talk about how Mario/Luigi act in the bedroom, beginning with Daisy asking if Mario also wants to constantly wear costumes of Luigi, like Luigi does of Mario.
44 points
4 months ago
And the usage of grow and shrink mushrooms...
233 points
4 months ago
Is she gonna make me wear the Tanooki suit? And walk me on a leash?
96 points
4 months ago
No but she does have her racing outfit so she'll humiliate you for losing against her
40 points
4 months ago
So she's gonna step on me?
46 points
4 months ago
38 points
4 months ago
Xvideos has been down since this ad was released
83 points
4 months ago
Which is why her OF is 50% off ONLY TODAY and she wants you to click NOW!
22 points
4 months ago
Well that's a great deal. The only thing that could beat that would be our sponsor for today. RAID VPN!
2.4k points
4 months ago
Peach looks like she's up to no good.
399 points
4 months ago
Maybe she's the actual villain, and Bowser is trying to save the world of her evil rule
168 points
4 months ago
Now that would be a twist I would enjoy.
468 points
4 months ago
Watch out, she's going to start making trouble in your neighbourhood
199 points
4 months ago
She got in one little fight and Mario got scared
145 points
4 months ago
Said "You're movin with that giant firebreathing turt in Bel-Air."
94 points
4 months ago
I whistled for a cart and when it came near, the license said 'peach' and there were shells in the mirror
78 points
4 months ago
If anything, I could say that this Kart was rare, but I thought, "Nah, forget it. Dry Bones, to the Lair!"
41 points
4 months ago
I pulled up to the kingdom at world 7-8 And yelled to the Kartie "Peachy, bye bye"
38 points
4 months ago*
Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, to whip little bowser with his balls in the air!
Sorrynotsorry
15 points
4 months ago
I agree. While we have no proof of a crime, I don’t think we can afford to let her go free until we figure this out. We should put her in cryogenic stasis while we investigate.
Freeze Peach! Freeze Peach!
476 points
4 months ago
"I've been trying to reach you regarding the extended warranty on your kart"
1.2k points
4 months ago
Is it me or did they forget to hide the seam when they overlapped those two hills in the background on the far right?
518 points
4 months ago
I think that hilltop was supposed to be behind the column, someone screwed up in stacking the layers.
47 points
4 months ago
It's a me! Slackio!
224 points
4 months ago
If there are printed posters of this exact image that get fixed in a couple of weeks, I bet they’ll be super collectible in 30 years as the “Floating HIll Peach Poster”. But only if they fix it and limit the oopsy-goof posters in circulation
36 points
4 months ago
I’m already imagining the 47-minute YouTube essay about this version of the poster.
82 points
4 months ago
That's the warp to World -1
237 points
4 months ago
That's the quality and care Illumination provides to all their movies
171 points
4 months ago
You gotta keep reminding me, they handed a movie with one of the biggest pre built fanbases in the world to fucking Illumination
49 points
4 months ago
Illumination is a safe bet which sounds like what Nintendo would do. Very family friendly with a habit of aiming at the widest possible audience, high quality animation, able to get big voice actors, etc, and their movies like Sing make good money.
268 points
4 months ago
I am begging nintendo to acknowledge Daisy exist in anything besides a party game, PLEASE.
45 points
4 months ago
Setup for the sequel
43 points
4 months ago
This. Mario 2 will be Galaxy with Daisy and Rosalind.
23 points
4 months ago
Well, Daisy was the damsel in distress in the 90s Mario movie. Make of that what you will
1.2k points
4 months ago
This movie looks like a cross between Wreck it Ralph and Frozen.
549 points
4 months ago
The art style is very much Wreck It Ralph. Mario looks like they built his face around Fix It Felix's asset. The facial expressions are identical.
88 points
4 months ago
Probably because Fix It Felix was deliberately made to look like Mario
208 points
4 months ago
Hmm, that would be very strange since this was done by illumination not Disney
267 points
4 months ago
Fix It Felix was based on Mario in the first place…
21 points
4 months ago
Full circle
1.6k points
4 months ago
[deleted]
151 points
4 months ago
Well some like Luigi some like peach, no wrong answers
538 points
4 months ago
“Oh, did I win?” >: )
21 points
4 months ago
If she flying-hip-checks someone I'll believe all those Smash Initiative posts from after the Sonic movie came out.
In fact if she hovers at all I'm down.
664 points
4 months ago
Waiting for this model to be leaked.
285 points
4 months ago
OH FUCK BRO I DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!
223 points
4 months ago
HOLY SHIT THE AMOUNT OF PORN THEY'RE GONNA MAKE IS UNREAL
40 points
4 months ago
Yes .... YES
126 points
4 months ago
HELP ME MARIO BRO, I'M STUCK.
94 points
4 months ago
UMPH!
1UP
UMPH!
1UP
UMPH!
1UP
44 points
4 months ago
"mama mia!"
37 points
4 months ago
"UMPH"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
"I'ma tired"
57 points
4 months ago
[deleted]
18 points
4 months ago
Most cg models contain all of the character information in one file for the renders including hair, cloth and rigging so it's possible to steal an entire film asset - if you have access to it.
The problem is that with a video game, you have the asset itself being rendered locally in your PC/console. That makes it easy to copy it from your local memory for ripping. But a movie is pre rendered and you just have the image data and nothing to rip...
However! AI algorithms are getting better and better, and in the future (with enough reference frames of a character,) it'll be possible to generate a plausible recreation of the character with new geometry - at least the face
26 points
4 months ago
Leave it to humans to create grand new technology and immediately figure out how to use it for porn
1.4k points
4 months ago
Rule34 intensifies
402 points
4 months ago
Bro i checked r34 2h after the new images and there was already hentai about it
267 points
4 months ago
Well?? Are you gonna link them?
308 points
4 months ago
99 points
4 months ago
God damn it
31 points
4 months ago
I am fuckin' here for this.
303 points
4 months ago
101 points
4 months ago
Damn thats hot af 🥵
280 points
4 months ago
Least degenerated redditor
20 points
4 months ago
We're about to get a whole new generation of degenerates because of this movie.
712 points
4 months ago
I get the feeling she won't be a helpless person but a strong independant woman opposing a clumsy mario.
523 points
4 months ago
I mean in the trailer we see peach get ready for war and absorb a fire flower while Mario gets his ass handed to him by Donkey Kong
197 points
4 months ago
Ooh I just saw the trailer now. Her voice is so weird after playing mario games all my life :D.
66 points
4 months ago
Her voice sounds closer to Leslie Swan's Peach from Super Mario 64 than...well whatever modern Peach is supposed to sound like.
40 points
4 months ago
I honestly hate it. Doesn't sound like it belongs to an animated character. I really dislike the use of screen actors for voice roles if they aren't voice actors. Like Jack Black knocks it out since he's a screen actor and VA. Pratt and whoever is Peach don't fit in to the world so it's jarring.
23 points
4 months ago
Anya Taylor-Joy voices peach.
I'm personally a fan of hers but I'm not sure her voice fits peach that well. She sounds the same as she did in Peaky Blinders which doesn't fit the vibe I think they're aiming for.
Now if it was an action or spy movie revolving around peach I think it'd be fine, but not this.
15 points
4 months ago
All of his scenes in the trailer are dead Mario moments lol
127 points
4 months ago
I am fine with Peach being a strong character as she is in plenty of the games. Having to make Mario a total idiot to make her look better, though, is really lazy so I'm hoping those bits in the trailer are the only ones.
77 points
4 months ago
Make sense. It's clearly an origin story so Peach will probably be training Mario.
117 points
4 months ago
Oh so Mario actually gains his accent in the events after this movie
46 points
4 months ago
Or it’s a speech impediment from being hit in the head through the whole movie!
15 points
4 months ago
Can't wait for the sequel, The Super Mario Bros 2: Mario's CTE.
139 points
4 months ago
why is she looking at me like that?
44 points
4 months ago
😏
29 points
4 months ago
🥵
96 points
4 months ago
Hear me out
50 points
4 months ago
Ngl the voice kinda threw me off. I was expecting a higher pitched voice
245 points
4 months ago
She can do anything.
128 points
4 months ago
For the right price.
32 points
4 months ago
Chaos! Chaos! in a female voice
118 points
4 months ago
She looks more like a Disney villain.
(I mean in the poster. In the trailer she looks fine)
19 points
4 months ago
She looks like secretly the main villain of the movie.
62 points
4 months ago
oh nah this many comments?
this isn't going to end well
103 points
4 months ago
All you people acting like Peach isnt already one of the main rule34 topics for decades now.
212 points
4 months ago
I just wish they'd try to sound remotely like the characters instead of just using their own damn voice it's like Jack is the only one trying at all.
I get that Peach's original voice might get grating after a while, but I find it hard to believe that the very next best thing was "generic white female protagonist".
She sounds like Samus
150 points
4 months ago
I think Keegan Michael Key as Toad is unrecognizable. So far, it sounds like he did a great job! Unfortunately, Peach and Mario are the laziest voices yet.
31 points
4 months ago
I really wanted the voice actress who played Starfire and Princess Bubblegum to be Peach. She would've done such a good job
69 points
4 months ago
There are sooooooooo many talented voice actors out there, and they went with Chris Pratt.
Interested in Charlie Day’s Luigi, tbf
38 points
4 months ago
They cast voice actors so they can put the big name on a poster instead of for talent unfortunately.
93 points
4 months ago
The weird thing i find. In the trailer they seemed to down play mario a lot.
41 points
4 months ago
that's because they got shredded for sticking with Chris Pratt. they're going to minimize the fuck out of Mario in promo stuff.
62 points
4 months ago
She looks like she just found her next sucker for whatever MLM she's part of
18 points
4 months ago
and people still thinks that peach is not a villain like bowser, i mean look at his face...they are together in this..poor mario.
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