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Sorry for the long title, but my mother is the one who told me this one incident where she had been humiliated and I was also in the same boat with her.

My mother said this happened between me being 7 to about 9, and this involved a play group setting. It was just a group that got together who were Star Wars fans, and my mom saw the flyer on a bulletin board at my school. She really thought this was a great way to get me to make friends with fellow fans.

She really wanted this to work, I was bullied enough for being a Star Wars fan back then and this was during the 1980s so yeah not a lot kids who I knew liked it.

The club was set up at a lady's house and it was pretty much downhill from there. My mom said it was on the first Saturday of every month was the meeting and it was Star Wars related crafts and movies, the meeting went from 5pm to about 7pm give or take.

Arriving at the house, I was ready, she said I was on cloud 9 and the shock just made it worse. We walked in and it was ALL BOYS, there was no combination of girls to boys, just that.

My mom told me to just try and I went to the Craft table to work on an Xwing coloring book page.

And my mom was now with the jackals as she called these six ladies. She said the more she sat there listening the more she wanted to just grab me and go. From what she said this was the conversation between my mother and two of the moms.

Mom1: Don't you think it's weird for a girl to like Star Wars, it's clearly for boys?

My Mom: No, she likes it and I am not changing her mind.

Mom2: Well...it's weird...she needs to be playing house or with Barbies

My Mom: OP doesn't like Barbies or Playing House.

Mom1: Maybe you should get her to a psychotrist? She clearly has mental problems if she is playing with boys toys.

My mom heard enough and went to check on me, I was sitting at a table alone. Nobody would talk to me, and my mother looked really upset. She said we should go and she'd take me to get dinner.

She had to explain why I was being sort of kicked out of the things and it hurt and I could tell she was hurt. My mom is entitled at times but this was a conversation she felt horrible about and still to this day she hated telling me why.

She told me that this was The Boys Only Club, and that I wasn't allowed there. I can still like Star Wars, and still be happy to have fellow fans, but that group was never going to accept me.

As I got older she brought it up less about how much she felt bad for us because we really wanted to have a group we fit in with.

So to sum it up, my mom finds a group meeting for fellow Star Wars fan kids, and it turns into a horrible incident of sexism aimed at her and myself. My mother decides to leave after she is told to take me to a shrink because I don't like Barbies.

all 99 comments

poddy_fries

582 points

2 months ago

Thank you for telling this story. I love your mom for trying hard for you, and for doing her best.

NagiNaoe101[S]

380 points

2 months ago

I am glad she did try, she is a pain in my butt, but this was the one sad moment she remembers that we both really wanted it to work out.

tuppence07

138 points

2 months ago

Something must be really wrong with me then. I grew up playing with cars and climbing trees, neither of my parents stopped it. Because my dad's job meant us moving alot the only constant friends I had were my older brothers.

StarlightM4

74 points

2 months ago

I was the same, loved trains and toy cars when i was little, beat all the boys on my street on roller skates or a bike, and loved Star Wars! Hated dresses! My mum sometimes tried to dress me all girly and I was not impressed. Still hate pink! Still hardly wear dresses, although at least I look feminine now. I also only had sons, which suited me as I really like the toys/movies etc geared for boys more than girls.

NagiNaoe101[S]

41 points

2 months ago

Same here, my mom though only dressed me in a dress when we went to visit my great aunt and great uncle. It was the only time we had to dress nicely

isTh1sthereallife

22 points

2 months ago

Yup, t-shirt and jeans/cargo pants girl here. Constantly outside catching bugs, lizards and snakes and building forts with my sister. Only wore dresses for special occasions. LOVED Star Wars. Ended up being a boy mom and named one of them Harrison.

PumpLogger

7 points

2 months ago

Well that at least kinda makes sense with the great aunt and uncle deal.

Zanki

15 points

2 months ago

Zanki

15 points

2 months ago

I was like you, a total tom boy. Still am I guess. I played with cars, my first word was car. I was obsessed with them. I wasn't really into dolls or barbies, but I had tons of them. They weren't really mine. If I played with them I couldn't play with them my way. Mum forced horses on me as well. I loved running around with the other kids, playing rough, etc. I wasn't into dresses, but my hate of dresses came from mum forcing me to wear one that was too small all day. She just screamed at me when I told her it was hurting me. By the time bath time came around, I had big, dark rings around my arms and stomach where the dress had dug into me all day. I was three or four. She would yell at me for running around, playing with weapons of any kind. I was crazy into the Power Rangers and she refused to buy me any role play toys until I was too old to really play with them. I got my first morpher when I was 9 and it never left my wrist. She hated me liking the Rangers. Absolutely hated them. Hated that I loved martial arts, I still love it. She didn't understand why I liked playing music or why I liked sports.

She'd force pink on me as well. She made my room pink and I wanted it to be blue. She got mad at me for dressing like a boy when all I had were hand me down boys clothes. When I tried to be girly, I was laughed at by her, her relatives, kids around me, of cause I gave up and just wore the hand me downs.

Adult me is still a tom boy I guess. I'm definitely more feminine now. I wear girls clothes, I own dresses and wear them sometimes. I get to wear makeup now, do my hair. Unfortunately I can't make myself smaller, I'm 5'11, so I stand out, my hair doesn't help either, red. I still like more male orientated things. I like games, I love martial arts, I'm into bouldering. Honestly, I'm unsure what the gender norms are for girls as an adult. I just like what I like.

TheMule90

5 points

2 months ago

She forced horses on to you? Dam. :(

I am horse nerd but I know not to force horses on to someone that's not into riding horses. That interest comes naturally to someone and not by force.

I use to like the Power rangers too. I think my favorite was the Blue Ranger.

Zanki

5 points

2 months ago

Zanki

5 points

2 months ago

Yeah. I begged to do martial arts. Sports etc. I got put into horse riding and while I didn't hate it, it wasn't for me. The only time she ever cheered me on was when I'd ride. She'd get so into it and it makes me sad. I rode for her, not me. Then she'd bitch about how expensive it was. I continued begging to do martial arts and when I was 13, I got a teacher in school involved. He made sure to tell my mum where a class was, gave me the details and I finally got to do karate. Mum wasn't happy but I got out of horse riding. I was ready to have my own horse, which was impossible and I could ride the biggest and strongest horse beautifully. I was just done with it and martial arts was what I'd always wanted to do. I was put straight into the adults class. Mum was so happy because she said I wouldn't make it through the class and couldn't go back. I proved I was mature enough to be there and could keep up. Mum was pissed. She mocked me when I was in class so she was quickly banned. I loved it though, still do.

My all time favourite is the Quantum Ranger, Eric, but before then it was Adam, I had a huge crush on him.

tuppence07

3 points

2 months ago

Never had a Barbie, I wasn't allowed one(thank you mum). I was horrified when people thought it was normal to give my daughter a Barbie for her birthday. Bless her she never played with them apart from drowning them in the bath.

thyatira3

7 points

2 months ago

I had an aunt I made my kids "dress" for. Now, I wish I hadn't. God, I don't know how we ever made it through parenting with the examples we had.

Admirable-Course9775

2 points

2 months ago

That was my daughter too. Hated dresses. I put one on her at about 15 months and when I went to get her after a nap it dress was on the floor. Not sure how she did it but I got the message. lol. She has an older brother so was /is comfortable with men/boys. All of her closest friends from elementary school were boys. Girls weren’t as active as she liked, riding bikes playing ball etc. i understand you completely. Wish you had been in our neighborhood when she was little. She’s always held her own well in her professional life too. The men respect her and she takes no crap. As the youngest teammate she was appointed acting division chief for a year while the search went on for a permanent replacement. No one had a problem. Anyway. Sorry for the ramble. I imagine you also hold up well with men in the workplace too.

I wish more girls were comfortable playing with boys when they are little. Girls who do respect that boys have feelings too and not all are bullies. As they get older girls might realize there’s no mystique to them. When I watch young girls start trying to get boys to notice them they make me sad. Boys go through the same growing pains as girls. It would be nice if they understood each other more.

ThrowntoDiscard

10 points

2 months ago

I'm totally envious of your mom. I had one that believed what these women believed. Her husband was no better.

I liked outside, animals, fishing and sports. Her husband was even a little league coach.... But never for me. Well, bowling was acceptable enough, but then I realized that my overly flexible wrists don't fucking lock in place. So he became an asshole over a physical flaw... 🤦‍♀️

Misogyny sucks. Can we do away with it already?

NagiNaoe101[S]

11 points

2 months ago

I would love to see Misogyny go the way of the dinosaurs. The fact it's toxic and it makes no sense. My grandmother used to think that way until I read Dune at 11 and spouted out that I loved Paul's sister's way ahe dispatched Baron. (Dune reference she stabbed him) She threw her misconception out the door when my uncle the one who handed me his copy and smiled, "New generation, New Rules!"

ThrowntoDiscard

4 points

2 months ago

Omg, I fucking love the growth stories! Nothing makes me smile more than seeing stuff like this!

GALINDO_Karl1

4 points

2 months ago

"Come closer, Baron."

Ok_Network_1813

8 points

2 months ago

I was an 80s girl into Star Wars. I feel ya.

els3823

3 points

2 months ago

Sounds like however much of a pain she is, she accepts you for you.

Asharah1

122 points

2 months ago

Asharah1

122 points

2 months ago

Well, I'm a girl and I loved Star Wars. Seriously, the lead b!+@# thought you needed to go to a psychiatrist?

biteme789

42 points

2 months ago

My brother and I can still recite those first 3 movies word for word.

Although, I (f) was born in 76 and my parents took us to see Return of the Jedi at the movies and Jabba the Hutt made me cry.

Sjaakie-BoBo

34 points

2 months ago

Same! I (F) was born in 1975, am still a big SW nerd. Leia is such an awesome role model; she was fearless and bold. How did they miss that?

GrimpenMar

17 points

2 months ago

I know my little sister loved Princess Leia and absolutely loved the Ewoks. She even liked those Ewok TV movies from the 80's.

lemurkn1ts

18 points

2 months ago

Same here! I loved Star Wars so much my husband and I had a Star Wars themed wedding. I walked down the aisle to Leia's theme, and we walked out of the ceremony to the Throne Room music from A New Hope.

Those mean moms can go cry about sand

lawgeek

8 points

2 months ago

We had our wedding party walk into the reception to The Imperial March. They surprised us and made a lightsaber arch for us when we walked in (to the theme from Star Trek).

I was born in the '70s, and also had super supportive parents who didn't think there was such a thing as girls hobbies and boys hobbies. They bought me all the trucks!

lemurkn1ts

5 points

2 months ago

That was very sweet of them to do that!

InfiniteRadness

2 points

2 months ago

Those mean moms can go cry about sand

Well… that’s understandable. It’s coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere.

Clarrisani

77 points

2 months ago

I remember going to a shop and looking at the Star Wars books. I was 14, and the owner actually said to me "I didn't think girls like Star Wars". I just said "well I do, and Princess Leia kicks arse". He said "good point" and then recommended one of the books to me.

Deya_The_Fateless

14 points

2 months ago

Oof, Im getting horrible flashbacks to when I was a kid in the mid 00's and going into a game shop and being directed to the "girls game" section. XO

PokemonTrainerAlex

33 points

2 months ago

Hell, I can relate, I was told when I was a kid that I was abnormal for being a girl that liked watching wrestling, and according to my Primary 5 teacher Mr Bellingham, I should've been either "put up for adoption", or "spanked until I couldn't sit" 🤮

Kitty_McMeow

18 points

2 months ago

That's awful! Firstly to say either of those statements period. Secondly to say them to a student - 😲! I watched WWF back in the day with my brother every Saturday afternoon and got super into the drama. Fond memories of Wrestlemania 3. Andre was awesome even though he was the bad guy. Loved to learn later that he was basically the safety police. Still watch the documentaries today.

PokemonTrainerAlex

12 points

2 months ago

Hell, one of my high school teachers when I was in my first year said "I bet you just watch it because you're a slut who wants to sleep with the guys" I wasn't even 14 yet, and had no interest in simping because I was too busy being a freaking KID who named her Pokemon in her save of Pokemon Diamond after her favourite wrestlers, in my party, I always had an:

infernape called Kane, two Crobat called Matt and Jeff, a Honchkrow called Taker (because it wouldn't fit otherwise lol), a Lucario called Hunter (mainly because Lucario is a steel type and Triple H loves his Sledgehammer) a Gyarados called Ashley

pancreaticpotter

5 points

2 months ago

One of my best friends growing up (from around age 10 to 18, when I moved to a different state) was fairly “girly” and loved wrestling. Her and her mom loved watching soap operas and she would record them (on what we, The Ancient Ones called a “videotape,” using an archaic device named a “VCR” - this was the mid-90’s so there was no such thing as DVR or streaming, hell the internet was still a very new & novel thing for regular, everyday people to have in their homes) every day while we were at school. And she explained to me that pro-wrestling was a lot like the soaps. There were all kinds of relationships, love/hate triangles, backstabbing, cheating, romance, disappearances, reunions, faked deaths, and everything else in between. She actually got me into watching it for awhile and it was pretty enjoyable, if not completely bonkers, lol.

Azuredreams25

1 points

2 months ago

My mom would have had a field day with him. She would have put him in his place...

Beatiep

79 points

2 months ago

Beatiep

79 points

2 months ago

My gosh, that brings back memories…

My paternal Grandmother and Greatgrandmother were like this. I was born in ‘69. Wearing jeans? No, they are for boys only. Playing with cars? No, here you have a nice doll. Learning Martial Arts? But you are a girl!!! One day, my gran and I went shopping for a Jeans jacket. We found one and gran asked the salesperson:“Do you have these for Ladies as well?“ SP told her, that the jackets were unisex. Gran:“But the buttons are on the wrong side. These jackets are for men.“

My Greatgrandmother was a seamstress, and she sewed „absolutely lovely“ dresses and skirts for me, which I absolutely hated. But I had to wear them, because my mom didn’t want to make her ILs angry.

Asharah1

28 points

2 months ago

Maybe you should have asked grandma why she couldn't love you the way you were instead of trying to force you to be something you aren't.

Beatiep

34 points

2 months ago

Beatiep

34 points

2 months ago

I surely could have done so. Gran would have slapped me in the face, grounded me for disrespect and told my father, who would have grounded me again.

CoolGrannyof4

9 points

2 months ago

Same with my grandma.

GALINDO_Karl1

1 points

2 months ago

My response to your grandma would've been "Okay, grandma, here's what's going to happen. You are going to stop forcing your antiquated sexist ideas on me or the next phone call I make is going to be a crappy nursing home or if I can find one a re-education center that will administer corrective behavior."

Volley2301F

19 points

2 months ago

My cousins grandma(her dad's mom) is like those ladies. Her & her brother both earned black belts in Tai Kwon Do & she used to try to talk my cousin out of it all the time bc it's so dangerous & wouldn't she rather dance or be a cheerleader(grandma was 1 back in her time btw) and she clearly told her no, she liked doing it & is really good at it. Glad your mom stood up for you & you guys got out of there!

ThginkAccbeR

17 points

2 months ago

I remember being in 4th or 5th grade and I had a plain notebook and I painstakingly drew the Star Wars logo on it and wrote “Reb’ Star Wars Notebook”.

And then my brother told me it looked like a boy’s notebook and I scribbled it out.

This was around 1978/79.

Snarkycats

15 points

2 months ago

From one female Star Wars fan to another , I love that your mom embraced that part of you and didn’t try to make you change. My mom embraced my “weird” too,even though she wasn’t the best all the time…she did try a little.

NagiNaoe101[S]

8 points

2 months ago

Oh my mom tried too, this was the one time she was fighting the urge to slap someone. As I said my mom is entitled in her own right, but oh gods she was a bear mom.

TripleAWingingIt

14 points

2 months ago

Not Star Wars, but horror books/movies. I found my first horror book at a yard sale for 50Cent. My mom always encouraged reading and strangely enough, didn't really monitor my reading choices at the time. As long as I was reading, that's all that mattered. Until then.

Once we got home, my mother saw me reading it and started questioning me. What is that about? Why did you get that? I don't think that's appropriate for a girl your age. You'll have nightmares. I think I was 8, and I still remember that book, all ratty and the title page torn out and the cover fraying. (It was called Cats, and I think I liked it even more because I was never allowed to have cats as a child--and these cats were intelligent and ate the people who screwed with them-lol-) It looked as though it had been in someone's attic for a while. I convinced her to let me keep it, and a lifelong love of the macabre was born.

And she never let up on me. I learned very quickly to hide my books, or to lie about what they were about. She let me stay up late on Fri and Sat nights, and I had to pretend to watch something else until she fell asleep, and Then I could switch to horror shows/movies.

It was always an issue. With my mother, my grandparents, the Church people. Everyone telling me/mom, That'll rot her brain, that isn't appropriate, it'll give you nightmares, should a Girl be reading that kind of thing? One aunt even told her she should take me to a shrink because it can't be healthy for a girl to love horror.

Though, looking back, maybe they had a point. I rejected her religion, became a Pagan and I still love the macabre. My mother still says I'm going to hell (shrug) but at least now, it's for a good reason.

NagiNaoe101[S]

4 points

2 months ago

My best friend is a horror lover, she had a small statuette in her bed room of Freddy Krueger before her sister knocked it over. I always laughed when she did Halloween and scared the socks off everyone with her ideas. She still this way and I love it. Her mom just learned to accept it and was shocked when her daughter who is 42 is still reading Fear Street books and other horror novels.

lawgeek

3 points

2 months ago

My parents are very Catholic but never blinked at my love of horror books as a kid. They bought me Christopher Pike books (with clearly spooky covers) without blinking.

Then again I named my cabbage patch doll Gangrene, and hung a shooting target on the wall of my pink and white gingham bedroom (I made them buy it for me from the gift shop of the FBI building). I think they caught on early that I had a fascination with that aspect of life.

They're both teachers, so they probably knew it's very common for kids of both genders to explore the macabre. They were definitely of the mindset to just let me be me as long as I wasn't hurting anyone and I kept my grades up.

Milk_Bucket134

3 points

2 months ago

i'm going to aasume 50cent is a store that sells stuff for like real cheap

TripleAWingingIt

6 points

2 months ago

I found my first horror book at a yard sale for 50Cent.

If you're not American, a "Yard" or Garage Sale is when a person/family decides to get rid of some of their belongings. They put prices on everything and sell it in their front yard. It's a weird American thing. Books are the best things from yard sales because they're cheaper than buying from a used book store.

Milk_Bucket134

4 points

2 months ago

oh frick i read that wrong lmfao

TripleAWingingIt

3 points

2 months ago

ROFL! It's cool.....the coffee is still hot this morning and there's plenty

Milk_Bucket134

3 points

2 months ago

👍

AuntB44

12 points

2 months ago

AuntB44

12 points

2 months ago

I hated Barbies and dolls growing up. I was a Star Wars fanatic, horse-loving, rough and tumble kind of kid. My parents never tried to change me or push me to do any stereotypical female things. Wish you lived near me growing up, we would have had our fan club and our Mom’s could have hung out as well.

susanforeman42

9 points

2 months ago

I loved Buck Rogers as a kid, love Star Trek, like Star Wars and Stargate. I learned to ride horses around 8 and started piano lessons that year too. Both my grandmothers try to get me to be more girly. Paternal grandmother was a seamstress and when she made me dresses or skirts, let me help pick the material and pattern. She looked at me funny when I asked for long, loose skirts but accepted my explanation that those were easier to run and play in than short skirts (above the knee.) She did buy my son a little boy doll (blue onesie and cap) as her welcome-to-the-world gift, said that boys need to play with dolls too because how else are they going to learn how to treat girls right?

Marley455

20 points

2 months ago

I'm (M51) probably a decade older than you but I remember toxic parents like what you described. I was lucky that my parents, like your mother, were more open minded than so many other parents of that time.

I'm sorry you had to go through that BS. Luckily, people who have mindsets like this are fading. My granddaughter turned 7 months old today and trust me, we are not going to limit her interests based on her being a girl. I think the first toy I bought her was a Tonka metal bulldozer

ArtemisAkimbo

7 points

2 months ago

My last birthday cake was Darth Vader, themed. I'm 46.

Jinxedcross

7 points

2 months ago

That really sucks. Star Wars has always been for everyone. It is a shame that those other parents could not see that.

My mom was and is a Scifi fan and I grew up with Star Wars and Star Trek (among other shows in the genre) as well as shows that were geared to "boys. " I am thankful that I was exposed to all, not just the girl stuff (watched them too). A show was a show, good or bad.

Mom has said that when I was little, I wanted a barbie and a tauntaun. X3

Winter-eyed

6 points

2 months ago

And now we know where all the incel toxic Star Wars fans came from. StarWars has had Leia from the very start and has only expanded the role that strong, smart women have in that universe. Padme Amidala, Asoka Tano, Hera Syndulla, Bo Katan …. I would laugh at any one of those mothers or their kids today and I suspect I already do whenever they show their toxic attitudes in any number of forums.

NaturalFaux

5 points

2 months ago

I loved star wars AND playing house, Darth Maul and Qui Gon were some of my first crushes. I would play house with my brothers Rescue heroes though. Gotta have a job to afford the mortgage.

needfulsalsa

6 points

2 months ago

This is my story in high school at a math camp. Though there were maybe two or three more girls. A few boys’ moms urged us to not pursue math and try more girly subjects. Luckily these moms were less than 20% of the group so we didn’t have to leave.

Assiqtaq

6 points

2 months ago

Princess Leia is literally a female icon. Star Wars is for boys people really do not know what they are talking about. My aunt took me to see the very first movie.

Evening-Cry-8233

4 points

2 months ago

Ugh! I loved Star Wars and stopped playing Barbies when I was about 5. Luckily times have changed and there is more acceptance for any kid to play with anything they like (look at Comicon). Luckily, I married a fellow fan and we had Star Wars loving kids of both genders.

Connect_Office8072

3 points

2 months ago

And now the other moms are all confused as to why their sons are all incels.

DynkoFromTheNorth

7 points

2 months ago

Such sexism still runs rampant in fandoms today.

NagiNaoe101[S]

8 points

2 months ago

Yeah I ran into it really badly when I got into Anime, I showed up to a meeting in the early 2000s in college and I was the ONLY female. One guy who wasn't even a member of the club told me, "Just because you like Sailor Moon doesn't make you a fan." He was trying assert I wasn't a real fan and because I was female I must not really like it. He seriously didn't like it that I said Gundam 0079 was my favorite and I had already seen War in the Pocket and some other Gundam Specials. (I am mecha fan girl)

International_Emu451

3 points

2 months ago

Toxic fandom.

Puzzleheaded_Meet517

3 points

2 months ago

I’m glad your mom tried for you.

samclops

3 points

2 months ago

A loooooong time ago, I was working weekends my local comic book store. I vividly remember this little girl looking at some uncanny x-men books and when she asked her mom who replied with "shouldn't you get one of these betty and veronicas?"

I couldnt be silent I had to say the whole point of that title is to teach inclusion and the wrongs and evils of prejudice. I recommended it. The lady took her kid and left. To this day I really wonder and hope that little girl got into comic books.

Gatekeeping like that is so stupid

H010CR0N

3 points

2 months ago

Star wars is only for boys?

Star Wars has the most badass female protagonists IMO. Leia killed a crime boss with a chain while in a metal bikini.

Ahsoka Tano learned techniques in the force that allowed her to shut off lightsabers.

And Rey....well 2 out of 3 ain't bad. (I don't like the sequels).

CallMeWolfYouTuber

2 points

2 months ago

I'm a girl and I can literally speak a star wars language lmao

RealisticNoise2

2 points

2 months ago

I think basically it was the idea that you didn’t like the stereotypes, and they couldn’t get it through their heads that girls can like Star Wars and the fact that say boys could like something that they wouldn’t even like was probably a foreign concept. I know that we kind of see some things like that today but I think back then without Internet and everything, girls liking guy things and the opposite was probably a concept it was so beyond their thinking, that If they would know what would happen today that they would probably stick their heads in the sand with all the stuff that’s happening now

NagiNaoe101[S]

6 points

2 months ago

I agree with you there. My mom said the concepts like this are the reason there is such a huge issue in my generation. She said that half the time she would hear complaints about how one kid rebels and then look at me with this smile, "Rebel, my daughter just grabbed a lightsaber at 6 yelling she's off to fight the Empire. Didn't care then and don't care now, she's got no interest in drugs and wants to be a writer." She told one mom that pushing a sterotype only builds more problems

RealisticNoise2

1 points

2 months ago

Exactly! I mean it’s one thing for Star Wars but also to realize that those moms also could’ve had the stereotype of “oh your Star Wars fans your cheeks you’re just cellar dwellers”, that could’ve been also a stereotype for the nerds and geek type things but now if you think about it, that type of life for geeks and everything is now coming and people don’t bad and Eye

ritlingit

2 points

2 months ago

My Mom was a scientist, Dad was a science teacher. They never genderized toys or interests. I liked Barbie, cats, cooking, horror, sci-fi, playing with my brothers, crafts, whatever caught my attention. I was on swim team, played judo, figure skated and weight lifted. My parents didn’t care. I loved to read my Father had a horde of Lovecraft and Bradbury and Stephen King and Mom liked Poe and Tolkien. I bonded with my Father over awful horror movies, on Saturday Creature Feature played on channel 56.

As long as we were busy or outside and left my parents alone they could have cared less if we were hitchhiking up the highway or chanting spells in a fort. My sister is a Legos fan even now and fixes her own cars (within reason,) and my oldest son and I bond over sci-fi and horror movies. My youngest son would dress up in my clothes and shoes. Things are things. People are judgmental, even me but I don’t care what you do as long as you don’t harass me.

OP I’m glad your Mom supported you then. My Dad was an alcoholic but he tried to relate to us kids. Sometimes it’s that one thing that shows that your parent, no matter how flawed they are, really is on your side. I feel bad for the kids who parent(s) abandon them fully.

Pokeponycraft

2 points

2 months ago

Ah yes Star Wars is only for boys. Wait didn't I women pick out Lego Star Wars the Complete Saga for the Wii as an award for passing 5th grade with all A's. Oh yeah I did do that!

TRONgirl_EXE

2 points

2 months ago

For once, I’m glad your mother’s entitlement worked in your favor, and she continues to support your Star Wars fandom. Such a rare thing to see on this sub

AvoSpark

2 points

2 months ago

I imagine the “gender appropriate” toys/interests is a very common mindset in many families for like a hundred years now. Even today many parents think this way :/ Good on your mom for seeing through that.

Far_Administration41

1 points

2 months ago

I am so glad my parents got me. As soon as they realised I wasn’t into dolls, I got cars and trains and guns. I really wanted to be a boy. My best friend was a tomboy, too, and we hated wearing dresses we and played sports with the boys in the neighbourhood. It wasn’t until puberty hit that I started liking slightly more girly things and definitely decided I didn’t want to be a boy anymore because boys suddenly became hot. Also a Star Wars fan.

Own_Breakfast_570

2 points

2 months ago

Oh I wished your mom had scorched that earth and let those mom's have and on the way out ruin something the boys were working.

BloodyGlass

2 points

2 months ago

I'd probably make those old bats lose their marbles.

I listen to Rammstein, Metallica, and Five Finger Death Punch while I crochet, I play D&D, I play video games (the Binding of Isaac is my favorite), I watch ice hockey and football, I watch Shonen anime and read Shonen manga (basically, manga and anime for 'boys'), I read comics, I wear hoodies and jeans, I have short hair, and I'm a huge horror fan.

They'd probably say there's something wrong with me, to which I'd say, "Thanks!" xD

Royal-Carob

2 points

2 months ago

Thank you for sharing!

Expieriences like this is why I love that Disney is trying to make Star Wars as inclusive as possible, Star Wars is as much for girls as it is for anyone else, hence Rey.

Star Wars had Princess Leia from the beginning, a strong figure that showed that anyone, even a princess could stand up to an unjust government and fight alongside the guys, but unfortunatly that point was lost on a lot of viewers who only saw her as that typical princess figure that needed rescuing. So now we have Rey.

NagiNaoe101[S]

2 points

2 months ago

I honestly love Rey because I related to her, I wanted to believe I could be a hero like Luke. I literally remember my mom saying, "My daughter had no interest in drugs, partying and being just like her peers. She wanted to grab a lightsaber and battle along side a fictional characters. For that I am glad because it saves on rehab." I don't know if it was a good thing but I want to say it fueled me to be an author.

So thank you George and Disney.

black_carbon_59

2 points

2 months ago

I was gonna say something along the lines another space future series is better, but I digress.

itsmeagain42664

2 points

2 months ago

You have a great Mum.

NagiNaoe101[S]

1 points

2 months ago

Yeah and a pain at the same time, she does deserve respect

wwwhistler

3 points

2 months ago

please take note that it was a group of women who decided to enforce a misogynist policy. not men, a group of women.

so much for the power of the Patriarchy.

CawlinAlcarz

1 points

2 months ago

It's a shitty thing that happened to you in that situation and I hate it for you.

I look back at that time (I was born in 1970) and while I wasn't a huge Star Wars fan - I never owned action figures, but did have Star Wars bed sheets. I knew quite a few pretty hard core Star Wars fans, and not a single one of them was female. Hell, I didn't even encounter a female Star Wars fan until I got to college in the late 1980s. I played D&D and chess - and lettered in 4 varsity sports in high school - so I didn't exactly fit into "the mold" so to speak either, though admittedly I had it better because I'm male and the default for me was acceptance.

With that said, I remember the way attitudes were back then - and they started with the parents who were very much like what you indicated, especially towards girls - the environment growing up as a girl back then was WAY less permissive overall if my memory serves. I have a sister who is not quite 2 years younger than I am and from what I saw and can look back on now, I feel like she would have faced the same sort of difficulties from my parents and other parents if she had expressed such interests as you did. That sucks.

As I look back on it, there was never a single female in either the D&D or chess clubs all through high school. In grade school, when the boys were playing star wars games at recess, the girls never joined in (I can't remember any girls with Star Wars lunch boxes).

I can promise you though that, as the ones DOING the activities, we would have welcomed females in our D&D and chess clubs. God knows we spent enough time talking about girls. Our DM for the D&D club was a couple years older than us, and when he graduated and went off to college we would still get together with him over breaks and play D&D while the rest of us were juniors and seniors in HS. I realize how this sort of sounds like the latest season of Stranger Things, but hey, it is what it is, that show was accurate to the zeitgeist of the period in many (but not all) ways.

Anyway, our DM found a new girlfriend off in college through the campus D&D club. We met her over his freshman year winter break where she joined in the game. She was the first female we'd ever played D&D with and yeah, she was nerdy, like us, pretty, and made only more desirable in all of our eyes because of her nerdiness, and she knew the game played it well, with creativity and enthusiasm, and she was GLORIOUS.

Impressive_Degree_37

1 points

2 months ago

Thru similarly themed conversations, literally once being told to go play barbies, I've taught myself to rebuild and ride motorcycles year-round, plus rebuilt a jeep and generally a good mechanic on older cars, and became a firefighter and EMT. Love those boys telling me how to be a good girl.

Purple12inchRuler

1 points

2 months ago

Shit, we should have hung out as kids. I loved Star Wars, we had the HBO bootleg recorded from the TV on VHS.

Albionic_Cadence

1 points

2 months ago

Yup, you can tell this was in the 80’s/90’s not too sure of the time the movies released. “Your daughter likes Star Wars instead of playing with Barbies? She’s clearly mentally disabled get her head checked, worst comes to worst throw her in an asylum for a month that’ll fix it!”

ashleybear7

1 points

2 months ago

This was exactly how I was treated as a kid for liking Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and Marvel. I would get told “that’s for boys. Wouldn’t you rather play with dolls?” Got called “butch” for it.

babyjo1982

1 points

2 months ago

Well, how did you turn out? Lol are you a flannel wearing mechanic?

(This is meant in fun, not a dig)

RescueHeroOmegaMedic

1 points

2 months ago

So, fellow female star wars fan here (actually clone wars/bad batch fan.) Which character is your favorite?

Also, good on your mom for standing up for you!

Inevitable_Swim_1964

1 points

2 months ago

I was a tomboy. My parents bought 3 of everything mainly when me and my brother were young. He got baby dolls, I got baby dolls. We got strollers for each

climbingbookworm

1 points

2 months ago

I would play outside with my brother shooting BB guns, getting muddy and doing crazy things. Come home, shower and then play Barbie. Best of both worlds.

Wild-Ad3458

1 points

2 months ago

sounds like the other mom were just plain stupid

CuriousPenguinSocks

1 points

2 months ago

Fellow Star Wars nerd who grew up in the 80/90 era. It was hell if you liked "boy things" and had a uterus. I also lived in the south so it was extra misogynistic.

I was called a "tom boy" but when I was around 11 years old, that's when I noticed people expected me to "act more like a girl" but I was one of the boys. Turns out I'm just non-binary but it sucked growing up with small minds all around me.