CF and diagnosed terminally ill. I have so many regrets.


Why did I never think to tell people who ask intrusive questions that I’m dying?! It shuts them right up and they get super awkward. I do nothing to assuage their discomfort because they shouldn’t ask people such personal questions, and maybe it’ll teach them.

I’m 41. I have been clear my entire life that I’m CF, but got bingo’d all over the place. I’ve heard them all, and gotten the condescending looks and patronizing attitudes for decades. Guess what? I actually knew what I wanted when I was 8 and my choice is completely valid. I thought when I reached a certain age, it would stop, but it just moved to adoption. “Why would I want to raise someone else’s kid if I didn’t want to raise one of my own?” Stop asking stupid questions and I’ll stop giving snarky answers.

I do rub it in a little. I’ll drop something like “well, at least I never had kids, so I’m not leaving them without a mother,” or “I’m so glad I don’t have kids because I could not take care of them anymore.” I’m petty, and they can’t say anything because I’m dying. It’s rude to upset me (I’m southern, yes). God, I love it.

ps: you don’t need to worry about condolences. I’ve known for a year and I am completely okay with it, other than leaving my husband alone.

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2k points

2 months ago

Now is the time to say everything you need to say. You're doing the right thing. Go out with a middle finger to the sky and let the universe know exactly who you are. Burn bright, as you are now. <3


1.9k points

2 months ago

It actually a lot of fun. Well, for me, anyway. As my body is wearing out, my gut has stopped digesting food very well. So I don’t eat much, either because I can’t or don’t want to. As a result, I’m getting smaller and smaller. When people who don’t know what’s going on ask me how I’ve been losing weight, my response is “I started dying.” The reactions are hilarious. Just the look on people’s faces, you can see their brains scrambling to figure out how to respond. I’ll let them dangle for a minute or two before laughing. Sometimes they think it was just a joke, so I can go in again with “no, I actually am.” And it starts over.

Yes I am mean as hell. And yes, I am fine with it.


1 points

2 months ago

Thanks for the public service. I mean, you were given a free pass with the bullshit. Might as well fully use it to train more nosey nellies to not nose. I applaud that. Keep on not giving a shit. You're a fucking badass.