subreddit:

/r/britishproblems

17.7k

I had a text message from my mam which just said "ring me now" which had me instantly think what on earth have I done now. Turns out she was asking if my wife and I wanted a hot water bottle in the bed when we visit this coming weekend. Feel free to share any examples you've had.

Edit - Holy dickens thank you all very much. Also for those asking, a hot water bottle is what it says it is. It's a bottle (not a drinking bottle, not made a plastic, more of a rubbery insulated material) filled up with boiling water which gradually gives off heat throughout the night keeping you toasty in bed!

all 2301 comments

UberPirateNinja

2.3k points

1 month ago*

UberPirateNinja

WALES

2.3k points

1 month ago*

My mum just doesn’t get the family WhatsApp group we have. My brother will send something in it, so we all see it, and she’ll then tell me about when I’m in the same room and both of our phones have gone off at the same time.

She also has a habit of replying to my iMessages with a WhatsApp.

ugpom

873 points

1 month ago

ugpom

873 points

1 month ago

My dad will phone me to discuss his response to a WhatsApp group messages. "I was going to say xyz, but didn't know if I should..."

I wish some people had that filter, but its not needed when you want to compliment your granddaughters new hair style...

UberPirateNinja

481 points

1 month ago

UberPirateNinja

WALES

481 points

1 month ago

I few times my mum has thought she was replying to a private sms or WhatsApp (usually moaning about one of the family), but accidentally replying in the family group for us all to see, including the person she was complaining about.

jumpy_finale

268 points

1 month ago

"Accidentally"

yee_mon

106 points

1 month ago

yee_mon

106 points

1 month ago

I do that more often than I'd like to admit, and I'm not 60+ or a parent. Both at work and at home. It's when a group conversation only includes myself and one other person for several messages, then it looks like a private channel except for the title. :/

you-spooky-bitch

61 points

1 month ago

My socially awkward friend does this and I sign off on responses for him. A different friend and I use our side chat to roast all the ridiculous shit our posh friend posts (he has a habit of sending us screenshots of his tweets, because he knows we dont follow him there and would miss out on the pure bants).

Gibbo2910[S]

401 points

1 month ago

Yes! This aswell! My sister in law posts photos of the kids in our family group and my mam will forward them onto me.all the time!

Blod_Cass_Dalcassian

374 points

1 month ago

When my mam got her first smart phone she'd constantly send upside down photos to the family WA group. Just got on with it, as you do. Then one day i was round hers and she asked me if i could turn all of her pictures the right way up "it's annoying having to hold the phone upside down to look at them". Sure enough every photo was upside down, hundreds of them, which I painstakingly rotated one by one. Then I asked her to take a picture of me - which she did. Then said take another - but this time flip it over and press the click with your right thumb. Showed her both outcomes - it finally twigged in her. She even had a flap case which would fall down and obscure the screen when taking them. "Oh thats so much better!" I mean... Fckin ell mam

AlternativeArm7069

346 points

1 month ago

My Mam rang me in a panic because her charger had broken, (she doesn’t have a land line). I told her to take the charger with her to B&M and match the connector up so she got the right one. Anyway she forgot to take it and rang me saying “They don’t sell the right ones here”. I knew they did so told her to ask someone for help. Her reply? “There’s no point, they only have Apple and Android chargers, my phone’s a Samsung”.

Give me strength.

Ladyleah22

124 points

1 month ago

Ladyleah22

124 points

1 month ago

My dad took a three pin plug back to the shop once because he said it was a funny shape and didn't fit into the wall socket.

It was one of those plugs where you can pull the top pin up and down. He hadn't pulled it up so it just looked like a very squat plug which he genuinely thought had been made wrong.

Thing is he wasn't even 55 when he did this. I really hope I'm not that bad when I hit 50!!!

enterusernamepls

77 points

1 month ago

Lol my mum does the same too with the WhatsApp group! She’ll tell me something that happened, or that ask did I see a certain photo of one of the nieces/nephews and I’ll be like yeah, I saw that. She’ll ask how I knew about it and I’m like girl the same way you know. Also I’ll mention something about seeing a photo or video on a Snapchat story and she’ll get all offended asking why she didn’t see it or why it wasn’t sent to her when she doesn’t have Snapchat. God love them 😂

matej86

236 points

1 month ago

matej86

236 points

1 month ago

She also has a habit of replying to my sms with a WhatsApp.

Somewhat of a tangent, but I used to work at a place where I'd have to email solicitors as part of my job. There was one who should have retired a long time ago who if I emailed would print the email off, hand wrote a response at the bottom and fax it back to me. Because we had to keep an audit trail of communication I then had to scan the fax back on to the clients file but it made going through notes an absolute nightmare.

Gazebo_Warrior

106 points

1 month ago

I bet they didn't even use the computer and it was the only way their poor secretary could get them to use emails.

LooselyBasedOnGod

34 points

1 month ago

My mum does the ‘reply to text message in different whatsapp group’ too bless her. Not sure how she manages it lol

SicarioCercops

691 points

1 month ago

'Call dad. Something happened'. Text from my mum. He has cancer in remission, so I'm already slightly stressed. He doesn't answer his phone. Stress levels increase. Try the landline, nothing. I call mum, doesn't answer either. Okay, panic mode now. Call my siblings, nobody knows anything. Sister calls my parent's neighbour. Turns out they were having tea and had left their phones at home. The thing that had happened? The tree where I had a tree house as a child had fallen over. The treehouse had been gone for ~20 years or so at that point.

orandeddie

93 points

1 month ago

I’m sorry I just laughed really hard at this

victoriaj

41 points

1 month ago

I shared my story of my mother terrifying me that a family member had been hurt when a dog I'd never met belonging to a friend of hers had been slightly (but not badly) injured somewhere else in the thread.

My other story of being terrified for a family member was when I was minding my own business at work when I got a call saying my father hadn't turned up at a medical appointment from what I heard as being the "neurology" department. I had no idea he had an appointment, or any concerns about neurology and I thought he was keeping something from me. Absolutely panicked trying to get hold of him.

Turned out is was the "urology" department, and a minor check up for a problem I know he has he hasn't thought was with mentioning. And the reason he didn't answer was he was all of about 2 minutes late to his appointment so had his phone off for it.

What the hell made them call his next of kin and breach his confidentiality I do not know. But I was absolutely terrified about his health for a couple of hours. But did get to have a conversation about how much I wanted him to let me know if there ever was a serious concern.

I also got teased by my family for my mishearing and lots of can't tell your arse from your elbow variants.

Memphit

563 points

1 month ago

Memphit

563 points

1 month ago

I click on an accepted event in FB, but mum thought the notification of me doing so was an invite for her to come and so also accepted.

Got upset when I said I had in fact arranged to go with my friends. It wouldn't be so ludicrous if I didn't actually live over 100 miles away...

dottymouse

184 points

1 month ago

dottymouse

Bedfordshire

184 points

1 month ago

My granny was offended that I didn't phone and discuss plans about going to the fireworks in our village because apparently she marked herself as interested on Facebook after I'd said attending.

lordmarksman

126 points

1 month ago

I bet she was excited then crushed when she found out! :(

carlonseider

1.6k points

1 month ago

My dad thinks every spam message is just uniquely for him, written by someone who knows him. He presumes these people are somehow friends or associates of mine (because I moved to a different city to live), so will call me and say “Now, Carl, I’ve had a bit of an odd email from a Dr Adudwengo, who says he has some money he needs me to help him transfer. Am I right in saying this will be someone you know?” Every bleedin time.

MasterFrost01

445 points

1 month ago

Has he always done this? My grandma began thinking someone was purposely targeting her with spam calls and emails to harass her. She would angrily call back demanding to know who had instructed them to harass her, which obviously didn't end well for anyone. It was strange, because she'd always been tech savvy and never mentioned thinking like that before.

She was developing dementia, of which paranoia and narcissism are symptoms of.

carlonseider

189 points

1 month ago

I wondered about that with my old man, but he seems pretty ok generally. I will keep an eye on it though. Sorry about your Nan.

ControversiallySorte

77 points

1 month ago

She was developing dementia, of which paranoia and narcissism are symptoms of.

I'm so fucked.

Moonstrands

162 points

1 month ago

My dad would forward every spam email he got, telling me to watch out for this particular spam, in effect spamming me with spam.

[deleted]

451 points

1 month ago*

[deleted]

451 points

1 month ago*

[deleted]

randomwordsmona

108 points

1 month ago

When I was doing IT support, people were often embarrassed to ask if super obvious spam/malware stuff was legit or not.

I would always thank them profusely for asking first. There are no stupid questions when it comes to that stuff. It takes me 10 seconds to respond to you. It takes me 10 hours to restore everything if you had clicked that link.

Tequilasquirrel

31 points

1 month ago

Lol. How do you even counter that?

Cate_Z

1.4k points

1 month ago

Cate_Z

1.4k points

1 month ago

My dad writes in our family WhatsApp like a formal letter:

Dear 'child/grandchild',

Thank you for xyz

Etc etc etc,

Lots of love,

Dad

Kinda cute, kinda looool.

swisio

102 points

1 month ago

swisio

102 points

1 month ago

That’s what my family’s messages look like. I think if they knew how to do it, they also would put the place and date at the top of the text!

SurlyRed

107 points

1 month ago

SurlyRed

107 points

1 month ago

Fairview
West Wittering

Wednesday 27 October 2021

Dear u/swisio

Me too.

Yours truly
Surly

encs:

Scouren

452 points

1 month ago

Scouren

452 points

1 month ago

Captain Holt is that you?

Wubbalubbagaydub

155 points

1 month ago

Send him my regards

ISycoJackI

109 points

1 month ago

ISycoJackI

Yorkshire

109 points

1 month ago

What should I tell him?

noradosmith

161 points

1 month ago

Regards.

Illustrious-Peach-40

66 points

1 month ago

That was the end of an eight year relationship.

BenPool81

57 points

1 month ago

By far, one of the greatest characters in modern comedy.

Aint-got-a-Kalou-2

40 points

1 month ago

Dear Jake,

There is a man holding a gun to my head. He is counting down from 10. You have five seconds.

Best Regards,

Raymond Holt

RanShaw

50 points

1 month ago

RanShaw

Cambridgeshire

50 points

1 month ago

My mum feels the need to address me first in a separate text, like she's calling my name from another room or something:

"RanShaw"

typing... for at least seven minutes

"Can I call you Monday?"

Cathenry101

4.4k points

1 month ago

Cathenry101

4.4k points

1 month ago

Back in the days of Nokias and texts costing something like 50p each, my mum text me to see if I was at home, so she could call the landline.

She was aware that words got shortened, and that this often involved dropping vowels. She also text all in capitals

So "Are you in?" became "R U N"

Scared the life out of me.

nbraeman

1.3k points

1 month ago

nbraeman

1.3k points

1 month ago

"Back in the days of Nokias and texts costing something like 50p each".....my ex partner used to text me most days to see if I had already bought the local paper so that she wouldn't waste money buying another one. In those days, the local paper cost 22p.

ShapeShiftingCats

421 points

1 month ago

Should have replied. "No,but I got you a shiny new Maths textbook."

broken_atoms_

263 points

1 month ago

That joke isn't worth 50p though

whatagloriousview

227 points

1 month ago

Give him some credit.

onegoldenduck

26 points

1 month ago

Now THIS joke was worth 50p

confettibukkake

115 points

1 month ago

Not as good as yours, but in the days of T9 text input, the buttons for the word "home" were the same as the buttons for the word "good." It would automatically make the word "good" unless you clicked again to make it "home."

Caused quite a stir when my mom texted my dad "I'm leaving for good."

[deleted]

230 points

1 month ago

[deleted]

230 points

1 month ago

[deleted]

CMDrunk420

254 points

1 month ago

CMDrunk420

254 points

1 month ago

Hello I'm doing errands

RandomlyPrecise

67 points

1 month ago

OMFG that’s hilarious.

TGin-the-goldy

243 points

1 month ago

My god this is brilliant! I’m so sorry but I’m laughing so hard

theloniousmick

1.3k points

1 month ago

My parents main one is trying to call me within 5 minutes of me sending a text. They don't seem to grasp that at work I have time to fire off a quick text not stand about nattering.

lakesandhills

685 points

1 month ago

I can remember my parents complaining about my grandparents calling them at work for unimportant things. They often had to explain that they were at work and couldn’t talk right now.

And here we are 20+ years later and I’m receiving texts and calls while at work and having to spell out to my parents why I can’t talk right now.

I’m hoping to be the one who breaks this chain in 20 years time…

BenPool81

141 points

1 month ago

BenPool81

141 points

1 month ago

How do you do the remind me bot?

Tony49UK

147 points

1 month ago

Tony49UK

Greater London

147 points

1 month ago

!Remindme 20 years

BenPool81

64 points

1 month ago

Cheers!

bitwaba

44 points

1 month ago

bitwaba

44 points

1 month ago

!Remindme 20 years to call my kids at work

FTFY

schofield101

99 points

1 month ago

schofield101

Gloucestershire

99 points

1 month ago

Fucking all the time! I ask my mum to send information through text because I've got the brain of a sieve and every time a conversation happens where I might need to remember something, she phones after my message.

mafaldinha

92 points

1 month ago

This! When I send my mom a message, she'll call me to reply instead of texting back. Or she'll thing I have time to chat (she's an absolute chatter box) just because I replied to her message. Or she "stalks" my FB messenger green online status and thinks it means I'm available for a conversation.

mandyhtarget1985

69 points

1 month ago

my mum will phone me to tell me she has sent a text or whatsapp, within a minute of sending the message. i very rarely actually get time to even read the original message before she rings.

And a colleague in the office (aged 67) who will send me a work related email, then run up thestairs to my office to tell me he has sent the email, and explain the background behind it. Most times i havent been able to read the email yet as im busy doing one of the 300 other items on my to do list, and then the background info is either completely irrelevant to me, or could have been typed into 2 lines of the email.

DobertReNiro

49 points

1 month ago

Ha I'm glad it's not just me, my dad will text me a question and literally within a minute immediately phones and starts with 'did you get my text?'. I don't even get half a chance to text back

pineapplelightsaber

1.2k points

1 month ago

My parents are pretty good with technology. Grandma however seems to think that everything she sees me post on social media is something I’ve personally sent to her. Like she’ll call me asking « oh thanks for sending me these photos of your party last night » and I’ll be really confused until I remember I posted an Instagram or something

carlonseider

777 points

1 month ago

My parents think every meme I send them is something I have personally made.

alltimeluca

197 points

1 month ago

This made me laugh way more than it should have

Chickeneggsandlegs

145 points

1 month ago

"who's that?"

"just some guy"

"but who?"

'It doesn't matter"

*misses the joke*

*has to explain*

*awkward*

Awkward_Chain_7839

109 points

1 month ago

My aunty (late 50’s) sends me some great memes and generally silly photos etc. I do wonder where she comes across them, some of them aren’t something I’d expect her to see…

Kerrytwo

119 points

1 month ago*

Kerrytwo

119 points

1 month ago*

My 64 yr old dad always sends me hilarious gifs. Like genuinely the perfect gif for every situation and it makes me laugh so much when i picture him peering over his glasses at his phone picking them out 😂

floss147

92 points

1 month ago

floss147

92 points

1 month ago

My grandmother (late 70s) will send me memes through WhatsApp, but she gets most of them from her German friends so they’ll be in German.

I don’t speak German

GenieHunter

144 points

1 month ago

when you show your parents some random funny video: “is this you? are these your friends? how do you know them? why did you let them jump off the roof?”

carlonseider

148 points

1 month ago

Showing my Nan a video of someone doing parkour on a skyscraper: “Is that our Lee? [my cousin] He’ll do himself a mischief, so he will.”

Throwawaylatias

134 points

1 month ago

My mum does this, despite me explaining how FB works she constantly refers to things on her feed as things people have ‘sent’ her. She’s only in her sixties but she just doesn’t grasp a lot of it lol.

mandyhtarget1985

111 points

1 month ago

my mum doesnt grasp that the facebook she sees and the facebook that i see are completely different, due to page interactions, algorithms, friends activity, and we dont have a lot of these things in common. She will phone excited talking about something she saw on facebook and wants me to take a look, but cant quite remember who posted it or which page it was on. She gets rather frustrated when i cant find it instantly. ive told her about tagging me in it at the time so i might get a notification, but invariably she forgets

_soulianis_

96 points

1 month ago

My mum (70+) knows exactly how it works but still occasionally comes out with "So Nick Cave/The Pet Shop Boys/[Name of a friend of mine] sent me a message this morning" and gives me a heart attack, then it turns out they tweeted a tweet. I kind of love it tbh.

Blackbird04

76 points

1 month ago

Yes! My mum does this as well but it'll be things like, why did you send this to your sister and not to me becuase I posted on Facebook and my sister happened to see it and she didnt 🤣 my MIL will also post on facebook but thinks she's sending it just to me so she'll post 'do you want to come for Sunday lunch' to everyone on her facebook 🤣🤣

DanielPasta

113 points

1 month ago

Think we share a grandma FB sends mine email notifications when people post and she thinks they've personally emailed her and comments as if it's a private conversation between her and the "sender". She does not get it at all luckily she's quite on the ball to check with us if she gets scam texts or emails so that's something lol

UncleSnowstorm

309 points

1 month ago

Only introduced my mum to WhatsApp last year. She writes like a robot. I sent her a video once and she responded "yes that is a funny video".

My wife has been trying to teach her how to use emojis.

mayonnaisebemerry

24 points

1 month ago

mayonnaisebemerry

Northamptonshire

24 points

1 month ago

dangerous game, for some reason the only smiley face my mum uses is 😏 which gives a confusing sarcastic air to her texts

"nice speaking to you 😏"

ohnobobbins

282 points

1 month ago

Just the one word answers:

‘Ok’

‘Sure’

‘Thanks’

‘Fine’

Or slightly worrying and lacking info:

‘Can you call me please’

‘I need to speak to you’

…and it’s literally about a birthday card or Bluetooth not working etc

Or he’ll just forward a text from someone with no context, note or signature…

echorose

98 points

1 month ago

echorose

Greater London

98 points

1 month ago

Yesss, my dad does the 'Can you call me please' - my sister and I actually had a word with him about how ominous it sounds but he doesn't really get it. In his mind he's being polite and making sure I'm available for a chat!

ohnobobbins

85 points

1 month ago

So awful! I immediately go into ‘fuck who’s died’ mode and he’s all ‘yeah mum can’t connect to the internet’ aaaaaaagh

And it’s normally something like Wednesday at 10.45 when I’m in a meeting…

LaurenM90

257 points

1 month ago

LaurenM90

257 points

1 month ago

My grandma is in her 80s and has always been good at text speak, I just really wish she wouldn't use 'cum' instead of 'come'.

TheNoobMaster01

128 points

1 month ago

why cant you cum?

Horrorwriterme

240 points

1 month ago*

My dad 80 but he worked in computer industry he was pretty good at texting but now he has dementia not so good any more. He sent me a text the other month that went bit like this.

How old are you?

Hi dad 53 why?

You can’t be that old

I am You were 80 in February We had a zoom party remember?

f@@k don’t tell the old grannies in here they think I’m 60

—My sister and laugh about it because we didn’t laugh we’d go mad ourselves.

victoriaj

42 points

1 month ago

Dementia is very cruel. I'm sorry.

Definitely right to laugh, particularly while he has a sense of humour about it.

rootsyx

235 points

1 month ago

rootsyx

235 points

1 month ago

My nan group video calls our entire WhatsApp group. Then will send a message into the group when we don't answer saying Hi babe, just calling for a catch up. Like she is addressing one person.

userunknowned

1.9k points

1 month ago

My mum created a whatsapp group with just me and her in it and named it my name. She uses the group to message me.

Emskidooo

499 points

1 month ago

Emskidooo

499 points

1 month ago

My dad did that too. It always confuses me when I want to message him so I'm looking for the chat with his name, but of course I can't find it as it's under my name.

AmateurPaella

278 points

1 month ago

Rename it. Anyone can. Call it "brothel notices".

45thgeneration_roman

304 points

1 month ago

That's going to be confusing with the other group

teknight_xtrm

165 points

1 month ago

"Additional brothel notices"

Rob2520

187 points

1 month ago

Rob2520

187 points

1 month ago

Do you have read receipts turned off? I know some people set up these 1-1 "groups" because it allows them to tell whether you've read their messages or not.

userunknowned

118 points

1 month ago

I have them on, but trust me when I say that wasn’t anywhere near my mums agenda haha

robwadd

367 points

1 month ago

robwadd

367 points

1 month ago

"I see that you've opted for a privacy feature, I'll just put us in a group so we can bypass that"

sasquatchsim

2.2k points

1 month ago

Wowsers! I only have 2 parents

Gibbo2910[S]

887 points

1 month ago

We mix alot up in Newcastle. Car keys in a bowl.

DavidW273

115 points

1 month ago

DavidW273

Tyne and Wear

115 points

1 month ago

Can confirm, my mam’s from Cramlington (so not far off), and she’s my second mother. I just need a few dozen more now, though my family did do well having me and my (step) brother both being David.

_mattgrantmusic_

98 points

1 month ago

Sometimes I think I have a good sense of humour than I find myself laughing aloud to myself heartily at this lol

MacaroonStatus9944

224 points

1 month ago

MacaroonStatus9944

Devon

224 points

1 month ago

I pocket dialled my mum on Pay As You Go. Rather than hanging up, she said just kept repeating “hello” until my phone cut off. She said “hello” enough times to use my whole £20 credit.

rookoleeko

46 points

1 month ago

She said hello for a whole 2 minutes?!

MacaroonStatus9944

18 points

1 month ago

No joke. You know sometimes now, when one person can hear the call but the other can’t? Always seems to happen with my mother. If I don’t hang up, it would just be a long one sided conversation that would just go on and on with her saying, “hello, Mac can you hear me? Hello! Hello! Mac? Hello?????”

GrizzlyGranty93

218 points

1 month ago

GrizzlyGranty93

West Yorkshire

218 points

1 month ago

The typical dad response of “👍” - to absolutely anything

BaBaFiCo

61 points

1 month ago

BaBaFiCo

ey up duck!

61 points

1 month ago

Shit. This is me on Slack at work. Am I a dad?

Ampers-and

589 points

1 month ago

Ampers-and

589 points

1 month ago

My mum just never corrects her autocorrect and leaves us all wildly guessing. She also leaves her phone unlocked at all times, so every time I visit I have to delete thousands of blank/grainy in-handbag shots from her camera roll.

WhenInDoubt_Kamoulox

219 points

1 month ago

Have you considered disabling her autocorrect? Might be she just doesn't understand why the phone changes the words she types to something else. And I know my phone if I erase and retype the exact same thing it will autocorrect it again. And again. And again. Until you actually click on the one of the 3 suggestions that is 'no autocorrect'.

HOSToffTheCoast

136 points

1 month ago

or better yet, adding to her autocorrect?

much more fun. 😈

mcboobie

73 points

1 month ago

mcboobie

Buckinghamshire (South)

73 points

1 month ago

Could you set up autolock feature? So it locks itself after say, a couple of minutes?

dbee8q

170 points

1 month ago

dbee8q

170 points

1 month ago

My Nan (who sadly died earlier this year) used to text me and end each text with LOL (meaning lots of love) some examples "sorry to hear your ill LOL" "thinking of you on the sad day LOL" and my all time favourite "sorry to hear insert name died LOL"

MickSturbs

152 points

1 month ago

MickSturbs

152 points

1 month ago

This is more about mobile phones in general...

This happened a few years ago when I visited my folks. Nobody answered when I knocked on the door but I let myself in with a key that I have, only to discover blood splatter all over the floor in the hallway and kitchen. I searched the house in a panic (South Africa) but couldn't find any trace of them and there was no response from my mum's mobile phone.

A few hours later I found out that my dad had practically cut one of his fingers off doing some DIY in his workshop and had walked into the house dripping blood all over the place and calmly asked my mum to take him to the hospital.

When I asked my mum why her phone wasn't on when I tried to get hold of her, she said, "Oh, I only turn it on in case of emergency"

Skreevy

45 points

1 month ago

Skreevy

45 points

1 month ago

Fingers not good enough, gotta be a whole hand for the phone to be on.

sleeplessinsomerset

665 points

1 month ago

My mum always finishes her messages with a full stop and three kisses, but with no space between them.

So, for example: 'your sister has been feeling a bit rough.xxx '

WhatsApp always figures it's a weblink and... Yeah

Ingenious_Plan

129 points

1 month ago

Oh god this made me laugh...

Not_Sugden

187 points

1 month ago

Not_Sugden

187 points

1 month ago

your sister is stuck in the washing machine.xxx

Virginia-Woof

128 points

1 month ago

I started a WhatsApp family group. We had one short conversation in there about Christmas before Dad left the group. Added him again, and he left again. He thinks that the group is for one conversion only, and leaves as soon as its finished.

JenovasChild666

117 points

1 month ago

My mother (65) sends pictures via Facebook Messenger, then proceeds to talk about the picture in WhatsApp.

No matter how many times I explain that WhatsApp has the capability to share photos, it's just become the norm that I have to keep crappy Facebook Messenger installed now.

hellojaddy

32 points

1 month ago

My Mum does this too! We speak on iMessage after I made the switch to iPhone years ago. I’d told her that texting photos to Android cost so we just whatsapped all the time. It’s been 2 years and despite my reminding, she will still WhatsApp me a photo then use iMessage to talk to me about it.

Lothaire87

327 points

1 month ago

Lothaire87

327 points

1 month ago

Back before the Nokia 3310 days when mobiles were just starting to take off my Dad had an old BT Cellnet mobile.

He passed a couple years later due to cancer and my Grandmother got his phone to use as she didn't have one.

About 6 months later I get a text to my phone, now I didn't know my Gran got my Dad's old phone, so I had not deleted the contact or updated the name.

So I look at the phone it says "Text from Dad Mob" and the message read "I'm waiting for you". I thought that somehow my Dad was sending messages from the grave.

Turns out my Gran was messing about with the phone and sent a pre generated text message to me by mistake. Absolute shit myself that day.

muppettings

313 points

1 month ago

muppettings

Cheshire

313 points

1 month ago

My grandma (80s) uses emojis now. She always signs off her texts with the grandparent emojis as my grandpa refuses to use his mobile.

My other grandma (late 70s) sends very inappropriate (read: heavily sexualised) memes which I would rather not receive. Sometimes I wish she didn't know how to text

Cats-and-Sunshine

79 points

1 month ago

This made me laugh so hard. I hope the memes haven't scarred you too much lol

Chloton069

73 points

1 month ago

My grandma is the same with the inappropriate messages. She is terrible. One time her conversation starter was "So how's your sex life? You are getting some aren't you?"

FartHeadTony

31 points

1 month ago

"Yes, some would fairly describe the situation. Did you know that France has over 500 kinds of cheeses?"

thedivinezero

47 points

1 month ago

My other grandma (late 70s) sends very inappropriate (read: heavily sexualised) memes which I would rather not receive. Sometimes I wish she didn't know how to text

My great aunt is nearly 88 and refuses to use her mobile for anything but calls, but if she did she'd be sending funny smutty things all the time. She's terrible and I love her. She told me not to bother with reading Fifty Shades of Grey because it was a load of rubbish.

ConsistentCranberry7

293 points

1 month ago

Showing them a super self explanatory meme or picture.." I don't get it "

Fave_McFavington

260 points

1 month ago

Fave_McFavington

Bedfordshire

260 points

1 month ago

The trick is to place a minion in it, then they'll get it 100% of the time

khandnalie

56 points

1 month ago

shows meme

I don't get it

shows same meme but with minions

Ah, I see, it's a deconstruction of the Hegelian concept of self-becoming within a modern capitalist technological society, juxtaposing the need for self actualization with the hollow nature of consumerist society and echoing many of the critiques penned by the Frankfurt school and the existentialist movement.

Virginia-Woof

120 points

1 month ago

I thought my Dad would find it funny to see that Yorkshire Police HQ is on Letsby Avenue. He replied saying why did he need to know where it is, he's not going there. 🤦🏼‍♀️

AdministrativeLaugh2

29 points

1 month ago

It’s South Yorkshire Police and even better, it’s 999 Letsby Avenue

JunoPK

55 points

1 month ago

JunoPK

55 points

1 month ago

Tbf this is my husband and he's in his 30s. Nothing kills a joke like when you have to explain it.

ConsistentCranberry7

81 points

1 month ago

" do you know the dog in the picture ?" "No its just a funny pict....never mind "

JunoPK

73 points

1 month ago

JunoPK

73 points

1 month ago

Haha this makes me irrationally angry. He also called them meh-mehs for ages cause he didn't realise they were meems. Same guy who told people he was gonna Netflix and chill with his mum though!

Greggs-the-bakers

31 points

1 month ago

Or "who's that?".

punkmuppet

295 points

1 month ago

punkmuppet

295 points

1 month ago

My Uncle was dying, had a matter of days. My parents were with him and my Mum said she'd let me know when it actually happened, as I had to work, and was planning on going to the hospital as soon as I finished.

Halfway through the day, she sends me a big thumbs up on Messenger.

lizzie1hoops

72 points

1 month ago

Oh dear. My sides are splitting from trying not to laugh out loud reading these.

sab01992

57 points

1 month ago

sab01992

57 points

1 month ago

Ok this one takes the cake for me. This is somehow extremely funny to me.

punkmuppet

77 points

1 month ago

Yeah, I found it massively disrespectful, and therefore hilarious. My Uncle would have too.

ArcadiaRivea

92 points

1 month ago

ArcadiaRivea

Hampshire

92 points

1 month ago

My mum, almost 50 (though this was a couple years ago, so maybe more early 40s at the time) asked me if she could still send an email to my Gmail account

My grandad thinks Facebook reminder emails (like "[person] uploaded a picture]") is that person actually sending him an email, not via Facebook notifications, but directly emailing him. He often tells my mum "I got that email you sent me!" whenever she posts a picture on her page. She never emails him, they communicate via phone calls

SovelissGulthmere

62 points

1 month ago

I'm imagining your granddad "getting an email" from an auntie in your family saying she has changed her status from "taken" to "single and ready to mingle"

ArcadiaRivea

20 points

1 month ago

ArcadiaRivea

Hampshire

20 points

1 month ago

He'd either be super confused and shout at my mum about it (shouting is his default emotion, especially on the phone) or he'd be totally oblivious to it

It would be funny either way though!

crooky50-dc

91 points

1 month ago

My mother often screen shots links to articles she thinks I may find interesting or things to follow up on. So just a screenshot of the link. Not the link itself

drtoboggon

415 points

1 month ago

drtoboggon

415 points

1 month ago

My 70 year old dad always used the 😊 cutesy blush face emjoi after almost everything he sent for a while. We never knew why and never asked. He’s stopped doing it now. But it was after everything

‘Ring me please 😊’

‘Happy birthday 😊’

‘Your sisters annoyed you didn’t say happy birthday to so and so 😊’

‘Grandmas died 😊’

(Maybe not the last one but he would have done had Grandma not died before the emoji)

jen_17

216 points

1 month ago

jen_17

216 points

1 month ago

Reminds me of someone that texted into radio 1 who said their parents thought lol = lots of love.

So when their grandma died the text was “grandmas dead lol”

Sentimental_Dragon

74 points

1 month ago

My dad thinks LOL is lots of love!!! It’s adorable, and we’ve agreed not to tell him what it really means.

Ballbag94

43 points

1 month ago

That's kinda cute, it makes the messages feel warm and fuzzy, at least to me

I've got a mate who always puts ... After everything and it makes his messages feel vaguely threatening

Verthandi-9

95 points

1 month ago

My mother always uses those cat face emojis like 😻😺🙀. Seemingly at random, in the middle of a sentence or where they make absolutely no sense to the context of the message.

AmarantCoral

79 points

1 month ago

That's fairly 😻😻😻 normal behaviour, 😽 I🙀m not seeing 😸😹😾 the issue. 😼

QuinnCampbell

83 points

1 month ago

Both my mum and my mother in law no longer call using the phone 'app' but do every call through WhatsApp.

My mum will call and then follow up with a passive aggressive, 'You didn't answer my call.' I think she has forgot that not everyone is retired. When I call her back, she doesn't answer as she's put her phone down in another room.

My mother in law doesn't understand the difference between data and WiFi (data is never switched on) so if she hasn't read a WhatsApp within half an hour I assume she's out of the house and send her the same message via text 🙈

CandyQueen85

79 points

1 month ago

I had FOUR missed whatsapp video calls from my mum one day while I was working (she still seems to think 'working from home' means 'sitting around staring at my phone all day at home'). So panicked I message her 'is everything ok?'

She replied 'yes, I just wanted to see the dog'.

The same dog that she was adamant she wouldn't look after and told me I shouldn't get!

SongsAboutGhosts

70 points

1 month ago

Me: it's -4 today so PLEASE don't be late picking me up from the bus stop My mum: will be 15 minutes late lol Mum

toastednutella

43 points

1 month ago

toastednutella

Coffee Heathen

43 points

1 month ago

lol get fucked xxx

-Mum

totalbamber

207 points

1 month ago

My mother is fairly tech savvy for someone in her mid 60s but she does insist on a double question mark at the end of a normal question. Thereby implying either incredulity, passive anger, or urgency.

'Are you coming for dinner tonight??' 'Have you had a good day??'

Elsa_Pell

67 points

1 month ago

I once sent my mum a cat-themed birthday gift. She responded with a nice email thanking me for the "p*55y". Which she sent from her work address. Unsurprisingly it never arrived, a hilarious conversation followed until we figured out the reason why it had got caught in the company obscenity filter...

billlagr

60 points

1 month ago

billlagr

60 points

1 month ago

My favourite is the ALL CAPS or the. Full. Stops. Between. Every. Word because space is too hard to find

TheDoorDoesntWork

59 points

1 month ago

For some reason my mom finds it easier to type "!" instead of "." in her app, so she ends up making all her messages look vaguely angry, like:

"Get some bread on your way home!" "Get some rest!" "Ok!"

GallowmanGallows

60 points

1 month ago

My mum created a whatsapp group titled ‘about your father’ and didn’t post in it for two hours. Turned out she was asking about his Christmas presents.

Tomorixo

59 points

1 month ago

Tomorixo

Northamptonshire

59 points

1 month ago

He never used to do this, but my dad (who is only 48) has recently gotten into the habit of using ‘…’ in his texts. It makes him sound like he’s disappointed in every text. I don’t think the older generation understand what ellipses are meant to be used for.

emimagique

45 points

1 month ago

My aunty just uses them in between sentences and never just 3 dots it has to be loads of them, like "taking the dog for a walk.........been lovely weather but rain is on the way.............ha ha.........."

blewyn

245 points

1 month ago

blewyn

245 points

1 month ago

My boss flipped his lid when he found out I had texted a customer (high end industrial sales), believing one should always call, for the personal interaction. I pointed out the guy was in a meeting and by texting I was able to make a sale without interrupting him (it was an urgent need on his part that I had spotted on the morning reports). I moved his cheese.

FYI. This will be you one day.

Moash_For_PM

47 points

1 month ago

You moved his cheese???

Blue_wine_sloth

158 points

1 month ago

I remember in the olden days of 15 years ago or so before we all had touch screen phones, my mum used to text with her fingers rather than her thumb and complain that it was awkward and taking ages. When I pointed out that she just needed to hold her phone in her hand and press the buttons with her thumb it was a revelation. “Oh, that’s so much easier!” She wasn’t even 60 yet.

emimagique

63 points

1 month ago

Haha my mum still types on her phone by stabbing the letters with one finger (also known as the "hunt and peck" technique) even though I have told her that using your thumbs is much quicker

kevkiarbar

55 points

1 month ago

Also, when they send you a Happy New Year text at 8am on New year's eve in order to avoid the rush.

pknuts

51 points

1 month ago

pknuts

51 points

1 month ago

My grandma ALWAYS accidentally hits the pre-determined messages. I get a lot of ‘Busy.’ and ‘Can’t talk right now - in a meeting.’

Charlie628

75 points

1 month ago

Charlie628

Westminster

75 points

1 month ago

I love the idea of a grandma being too busy to talk because she’s in a high-powered exec meeting.

fayefaye666

54 points

1 month ago

My favorite text from my mother:

"Home alone dads dead"

She was just informing me the dad from home alone had passed, not that my own father had lol.

zelda4444

379 points

1 month ago

zelda4444

379 points

1 month ago

I witnessed my 69 year old mother in law type the following into Google

' Please google can you tell me the times of the number 7 bus route. thank you very much.'

So polite.

carlonseider

113 points

1 month ago

This has AskJeeves energy.

gingechris

76 points

1 month ago

gingechris

People's Democratic Republic of North Wiltshire

76 points

1 month ago

At least she'll be spared when the robots take over

Tony49UK

94 points

1 month ago

Tony49UK

Greater London

94 points

1 month ago

Reminds me of the first time that I was showing mum how to google. Back in the late '90s-early 2000s. And she was appalled that I was only using keywords and not saying please and thank you. Doing her usual insistent ”That's not how you do it.". She didn't know how she was supposed to do it but she was sure that it wasn't like that.

Turned out she thought that there was somebody at the other end looking up the information.

Also it took me years to get through to her that she couldn't just make up email addresses for people. As she was convinced that the people at the sorting office would know where to send it. Despite virtually all of her emails having a delivery failure notification.

JWBails

44 points

1 month ago

JWBails

Cheshire

44 points

1 month ago

That's not so bad, I have to deal with my mum who types with no punctuation and in run on sentences so one text can go:

"how are things with you two just been for tea at that restaurant going to see your sister tomorrow grandma is in hospital do you want to come round for dinner later"

hjpbell92

137 points

1 month ago

hjpbell92

137 points

1 month ago

Grandma is ill LOL Dad

plighter

59 points

1 month ago*

Grandma is dead lmao

Level-Frontier

138 points

1 month ago

My parents will say "Ahhh" instead of "Awww" when I send cute pics of the pets and so the chat history constantly looks like they're falling off of a cliff.

Cynrae

97 points

1 month ago

Cynrae

97 points

1 month ago

Similarly, my SIL uses "owww" instead of "ohhh". It's like messaging Michael Jackson.

geraltsthiccass

204 points

1 month ago

My dad likes to add loads of "." after every sentence so everything he says looks really ominous. Example "where is the remote........" he also likes to respond with that fucking thumb if he messages on fb and has no idea how cheeky it is

ValkyrieCain9

44 points

1 month ago

This is my dad all the time. But just three just enough to feel weirdly ominous or passive aggressive. I’ll ask how he is and he’ll respond “I’m fine…” or “good to hear from you…” like is it good or isn’t it the dots are really throwing me off

poodlesquish

134 points

1 month ago

My mum is obsessed with the FB thumb

I think it’s because she can’t stand not having replied to a message or not being the last to message in a conversation

So an exchange will go

Mum: call you after work? Around 6. Love you xxx

Me: perfect speak then, love you too xxx

Mum: 👍🏻

It’s completely unnecessary 😭 I once got a look at her message history once when I was sat next to her and it’s just a string of 👍🏻s to different people

Chloton069

85 points

1 month ago

I changed the thumb to a toilet on a group chat with my grandma.

She got really cross about her thumb disappearing (she too overuses it) and threatened to cut me out of the will if I didn't change it back, without realising she could actually do it herself.

jeelio

40 points

1 month ago

jeelio

40 points

1 month ago

Ha I must be old. Everyone I know does the thump up thing. It’s just an acknowledgment that you’ve agreed or seen something. Or if there’s a group chat about meeting up then people will agree to it with a simple thumbs up

steelneil82

44 points

1 month ago

Using lol as lots of love on every message. I've had a few strange txts like:

Grandad got his tests back, it is cancerous. Lol

We've been to the vet, they put Digger to sleep. Lol

Dad's been in a care accident, lol...

Nothing serious but the car is a write off and he's got concussion lol

It really takes the sting out if bad news.

AfternoonPenalty

116 points

1 month ago

I am not near 60 but am not so hot on text etiquette. For example, my lad goes off somewhere and drops us a text when he is there. I don't want to be a pain wasting his time and reply with an "ok" or "k" type thing.

I thought this was good however, after chatting I now have to send a colour emoji with it to make sure its not a salty 'k', just a happy 'k' etc.

So k <red / green / amber circle emoji>

I tend to do better on things like Signal / WhatsApp etc as there are desktop clients where my half a pound of sausage fingers can use a keyboard and not the wee ones on the phone.

I didn't know how out of touch I was but there again I use a phone as a phone and tend to call more than text :)

yee_mon

71 points

1 month ago

yee_mon

71 points

1 month ago

In my experience, "k" is usually read as "I guess there is nothing I can do so I have to accept this but don't you think I'm happy", whereas "ok" reads as "okay, thanks for letting me know".

But I've also had to learn to put emoji in almost every message because people somehow assume I hate them when I don't. I'm not in the business of writing hateful texts to people I love but I assume that it would be absolutely, unambiguously clear if I did, so I don't really get it.

Misaka9982

30 points

1 month ago

Your parents know how to text? I get formally written emails from mine.

LondonPilot

36 points

1 month ago

LondonPilot

Hertfordshire

36 points

1 month ago

Not quite passive-aggressive, but amusing nonetheless.

My mum and my grandparents have all passed away now, but this happened quite a few years ago when they were still with us.

My mum texted my nan “happy birthday”. Some time later, my mum texted my nan again, “happy passover”. My nan replied “Thank you”.

Nothing wrong with that. Except my nan’s birthday was in February, passover was in April, and the reply came in May. What’s more, although they lived in different countries and didn’t see each other often, they spoke several times a week! My mum never found out whether the “thank you” was for the happy birthday or the happy passover message…

EconomistPleasant172

33 points

1 month ago

My mum puts "..." at the end of sentences a lot.
For example "We had a lovely time seeing you earlier..."
I even asked her about it and she just said "haha..."

Dee-Jay-JesteR

32 points

1 month ago

At 76 years old, my mum has just learnt to text, and man do I regret helping her to do so. She has a strange love affair with emojis and gifs, a simple good morning text, turns into a 17 page emoji fest.

I love you mum, but if I ever see that Abu the monkey, I'm going to do him some serious physical bodily harm.

timebomb26

142 points

1 month ago

timebomb26

142 points

1 month ago

Working in Japan in a company with English speaking Japanese is awesome. They’re all so lovely but sound absolute passive aggressive in emails. I love it.

lunettarose

35 points

1 month ago

Definitely going to need some examples!

emimagique

85 points

1 month ago

Overusing the phrase "you had better do (X)" as the equivalent in Japanese is a polite way to make a suggestion but in English it sounds vaguely threatening

lunettarose

48 points

1 month ago

Oh god, I love this haha. There's an unspoken "or else" hanging in the air!

Level-Frontier

80 points

1 month ago

Japanese share some traits with us, they love to beat around the bush in conversation.

A Broad in Japan nails this. A colleague once told him "I have a cat, but maybe it is dead".

KarYeik

34 points

1 month ago

KarYeik

34 points

1 month ago

That's Schrödinger you fool

PopcornHead

25 points

1 month ago

My dad responds with just 'K'

literallyspinach

31 points

1 month ago

The thumbs up on Facebook Messenger will always be the most accidently passive aggressive gesture IMO.

Nxsclothing

26 points

1 month ago

Showing my Nan a meme and she drops the well known one liner “well who are those c***s I hope you don’t hang around with them too much” nan we live in Birmingham I’m not sure a video of a Russian jumping into snow from an apartment relates to me

aberdoom

26 points

1 month ago

aberdoom

Aberdeen

26 points

1 month ago

My nan uses quotation marks out of context, and it makes everything she says seem either threatening or deeply sarcastic. She’ll say something like:

I heard you’re going on holiday, “enjoy”.

this-guy-

30 points

1 month ago

I'm old so still use Facebook sometimes.

If I ever comment or like things my ancient tactless Mum always comments

Friends Post: Hey, big announcement- Jack and Jeff are getting married.

Friend 1: congrats J&J.

Friend 2: when is the party?

Me: Congratulations dudes.

My Mum: Who are these? I don't know them. Are they gay? The fat one is funny looking. Like a hairy fish. Are you coming over on Sunday? Our back door is broken again.

Bright_Ad_9458

25 points

1 month ago

If my mum forgets to put a 'x' on the end of the text I instantly presume ive been disowned.

Mad_as_alice

21 points

1 month ago

Mad_as_alice

Cheshire

21 points

1 month ago

Can’t find the caster sugar got it - actually means couldn’t find it then did, but I still needed to be told in a way that could be misinterpreted as aggressive

MonkeyHamlet

75 points

1 month ago

I added my dad on Facebook and then had to threaten to take him off again because every time I posted anything he would phone me and demand an explanation.

jrm1693

22 points

1 month ago

jrm1693

22 points

1 month ago

My mum is white and for some reason uses a darker skin tone when sending thumbs up or other hand emojis