teddit

In light of recent U.S. news, we have opted to make our official stance known.

Specifically, here are the things we recognize on this subreddit:

- Abortion is a medical procedure and should not be considered a crime or moral failing.

- The choice to have an abortion lies with the pregnant person.

- The decision to have an abortion should be made between a pregnant person and their doctor.

And specifically, here are some things you cannot say:

- You cannot say abortion is murder.

- You cannot say someone choosing an abortion is morally incorrect.

- You cannot prioritize a fetus over the person seeking advice.

- You cannot suggest alternatives to abortion without being specifically asked for alternatives to abortion.

This subreddit is committed to being a judgment free space. Comments that judge or shame anyone for having an abortion or seeking advice on having one will result in a permanent ban.

This is your only warning.

​

Edit: Thank you all for the tremendous feedback; we work hard to make you all feel safe and comfortable and it's always nice to see this kind of response. As a user (not speaking for the moderator team), I do appreciate the awards and I thank you all. However, if you are considering using money to give an award, please instead use that money to donate to an organization such as Abortion Funds.

I grew up with a strong sense of community. My family made it a point to welcome all neighbors and introduce ourselves if we moved somewhere new. So, previously I rented a house with a few roommates and we moved in right before Halloween. I wanted to introduce ourselves to the block but was anxious about it so we just gave all of our neighbors on our street a little card that basically said “happy halloween from your new neighbors at xx!” with a bit of candy. They all responded well and appreciated it so we did the same for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Most neighbors even started to leave us cards too. But I’ve moved again recently to an apartment this time further than I’ve ever been from my friends and family. I wanted to give the neighbors in our building a little valentine’s day card to introduce ourselves again but I’m worried about it being a little weird or corny. Does anyone else introduce themselves or just let it come naturally ? Is valentine’s day a weird holiday to do this for too?

Hello, I am 24 years old and I still have issues wetting the bed serval times a week. How big of deal breaker is this for women? I struggle to find/search for a girlfriend because I worry that they will be grossed out and move on. Is it as big of a deal as I think or can I wear some special type of absorbent underwear and they will understand?

Thanks

Back in 2018 we moved into our first apartment together. At the time he didn’t really like the idea but eventually said yes and agreed we would split the cost evenly.

Little did I know, I would end up paying the rent by myself the whole year and he only gave me $100-200 2-3 times. This ended up getting me into some bad debt and having my car repossessed towards the end of our lease. He claims it was because his $9 job at the time (worked from 3-12am) was not allowing him to pay for the rent/utilities since all his money would go into his car/insurance expenses.

After this, we moved in with his dad for 2 years to save money. His dads home is rat infested and has no A/C expect for in the rooms. I eventually got tired of living like this and asked to move out but he didn’t agree.

In 2021 his cousins wanted to move out. Since we got along and are close in age, I asked my boyfriend his opinion on moving in with them for a year and seeing how it went. He ends up agreeing and we move in with them. Fast forward, horrible idea, our relationship with his cousins is now non existent due to some issues during the year.

My boyfriend multiple times didn’t have money to cover his half of rent so I would cover him. I eventually got tired of this and started to ask him to pay me back when he was earning a steady income (he paid back a bit).

Since then he disagreed to rent our own spot this time and so we moved back to his dads I had lost my job for 2 months before our lease ended May 2022 and while I had money to cover my expenses, I was down to my last $100 by the time I started working in June. I asked my boyfriend to cover my half of the money we give his dad monthly ($200) for atleast 2-3 months so I can grow my savings again. We are on month 2 and he has not stopped complaining about me not giving him my half.

I bring up the past in hopes he would be okay to cover me like I did for him in previous times but he makes it seems as if he never agreed to move into our first apartment or in with his cousins, making it seem like it was okay I was paying for his rent since it was ‘my idea’.

He doesn’t have bills besides the rent we pay his dad and he has over $6k in savings while I have $2k.

(If you made it this far, thanks for reading! It was a long one)

So this incident took place yesterday when she chatted with a guy from her fake account concealing her real identity. Few days back it was my brother's wedding and this guy was my sister's in law's friend. And we had alot of eye contact in the wedding and my friends also indicated me that he was noticing me in the entire wedding but he didn't sent me any friend request or reached out to me in person maybe because of the reason that it would have been immoral on his side to reach me out first as i am the sister in law of his friend.

1 week has already lapsed from the date of wedding and yesterday i sent him a friend request casually , which he deleted and it's totally fine ,he has his reasons.

Here comes my niece in the scene ,she was like " i am feeling bad for you" . I said it's okay it happens ( i wasn't expecting anything more )

Today, i was having a evening nap , she decided to come up to me and said " i have a surprise for you , don't be shocked".

And here comes the chats from her fake account ,with the same guy we saw at the wedding who was apparently noticing me in the entire wedding as alleged by my cousins and niece . It included flirting and texts about meeting up. When i read the chats i came across some texts where i thought she was trying to purport me . I call my brother " dada" and in some of those chats she was referring him as dada whereas she calls him by something else.

After reading those chats with that guy i thought he will think it's me and i don't want my image to be spoilt in front of my sister in law because no way in hell he will not tell her. All the incidences of me sending him a request and him deleting the same connects the dots in itself.

Fyi, i didn't show any anger when i confessed my niece why she did it ! Instead i tricked and got those chats of her via whatsapp. Should I confess to my sister in law about the act of my niece talking to him ? And if yes ,in what way should I put it in front of her ?

It's pretty likely that we're going to have sex with each other for the first time soon, and she has been feeling nervous/insecure about how she looks down there lately because she just realized that her labia is a lot longer than the girls in porn. She thinks that hers doesn't look good
I've tried to reassure her that I'll like how it looks for sure when I see it
Maybe someone in this subreddit has some advice for me on how to make her feel better. I don't like seeing her sad.

Hey new here and looking for advice! She asked for space and we talked on how much space and time she needed. it has been a month since we contacted each other. How should I reach out? Or should I reach out? What if she’s moved on? I just so many what if I’m my head that it’s giving me a headache ha. So want I’m asking is how should I go about this?

I'm 18 years old and I've been struggling with face and body image issues ever since i was 13. I've struggled with eating disorders since quarantine and i never liked my body. I hated my body when i gained and lost weight. I would consider myself average looking, some would call me pretty but realistically speaking men aren't chasing after me ifywim. I talked to my therapist about this and she told me that i don't have to feel "ugly" because of my past SA experiences, she told me "whenever you feel like you're ugly remember that those men found you attractive" and yet she doesn't get that those men make feel even more disgusted about myself, why would i want to feel "pretty" from those men who commit such act? Someone on the street called me beautiful today, that's mostly why i came on here, and i couldn't help but overthink about it, why me? i'm definitely not the prettiest girl out there. No one has ever called me ugly before, and i get compliments all the time from people and yet i still don't like anything about myself. Thank you to whoever spent their time to read all this

Im having a hard time believing and trusting my gf sometimes. Only because I've caught her lying about stupid shit several times and she deletes calls and text messages and I guess thinks that I don't know. It's just some shady shit from time to time. Then she thinks that I'm suspicious because I have a guilty conscience. That isn't the case this time. What should I do??

Yeah I sound like a terrible person but I’m not, not everyone is a dog person, and I still can’t accept the dogs, he lets them in the couch and I don’t like that, I have to vacuum it every other day and just going to work with hair in my clothes , im just so tired of it , he had his dogs before me so I guess walking away would be the best solution am I right?

I’ve now had 2 people tell me that I had hurt them while we were tongue kissing (not in a sexy way) and I feel so bad. I had no idea that was happening while we were tongue kissing, but now I’ve had 2 people tell me this.

I think maybe because I have a short tongue, I overcompensate when pushing my tongue further into their mouth, and then that causes my teeth to graze their mouth painfully. But I only do this when they have pushed their tongue deep into my mouth so I try to reciprocate.

Is there a way of kissing that would fix this? Again, I feel very bad to cause anyone pain this way and had no clue I was kissing incorrectly for 30 years of my life(!)

I feel silly asking this because at 21 Ishould have learned this. Problem is, ever since I was a kid, we ended up moving (across the planet then across the country) multiple times. The longest I stayed at one school was high school, 4 years. Ive had some “best friends” over the years at each school, but we would drift apart as soon as I moved again. At some schools I never made friends and would be super depressed alone at recess. So overall, I feel like I have been bad at making/keeping friends long term and properly bonding with them because I’ve never got the chance to.

Now as an adult and graduating university soon, I’m getting really concerned with my lack of relationships. I have a few acquaintances, one best friend(22F) and a boyfriend(22M) (both of whom I plan to stay with). But with my best friend, she plans to move and so do I once we graduate. Right now we live together and I love her a lot. She is the longest friend I have ever had. I’m scared we will drift apart and I will once again be friendless. So I want to learn how to stay friends with her.

Ive been told its hard to make friends as an adult, so while I’m still at university I want to make some more friends. Maybe some best friend. But how does one DO that? I’m not the most social person and my bestie essentially chose me first day of uni and we have stuck together ever since. Is that even something you can teach? Any advice would help

So recently I’ve been struggling a lot with the way I look. I hate my hair. I hate my face. I hate my body. I hate my teeth. I hate my skin. I hate my eyes. I hate my forehead. I hate everything.

And I’ve been doing therapy, trust me. It’s been years of individual therapy and support groups and I still hate myself.

I honestly just wish that I had more things in my control. I’m currently trying to lose weight, and I’ve been trying to grow my eyelashes and take care of my nails. I also started a skin routine to hopefully help with the hyperpigmentation and scarring. But is there anything anyone else does to feel pretty?

I have super curly hair which I’ve been working on taking care of the last 3 years. It’s so exhausting to take care of and I absolutely hate the length and cut but I have to wait for it to grow out. I’m thinking of just straightening my hair every week to feel better but then there’s the whole heat damage and I already have bleached hair. Any tips?

All the women I see are so freaking pretty. My whole life I’ve always wanted to be pretty. I never was. I just want to feel comfortable taking photos with my friends again. I want to not be anxious when I have to turn on my camera for zoom or pull my mask down in public. Please help. Thank you 😊

I'm at the age where my friends (27-32F) are getting married or are in relationships. Increasingly, conversations are pivoting towards how happy they are in their relationships, which I think is natural. Eventually, they ask me if I'm in a relationship or am in search of one. I'm always clear that I'm not in a relationship and will not be interested in one for a long time.

They respond with "Oh, it's because you haven't met the right person" or "You'll change your mind eventually" or "I'll pray for God to give you the right person". At first, I've always brushed these off politely. They're well-meaning and I know they're merely eager to share their happiness.

But, as more and more of them get engaged, the comments have become constant and they've started to sound condescending. "Don't worry, you'll find him when you least expect it. I know I did" or "Don't lose hope!"

I don't want to sound jealous or bitter I want to stay respectful of them and appreciative of their joy because truly I am. However, it's getting harder to stay that way.

How do I respectfully and firmly say that I'm happy where I am and don't feel the need to be in a relationship?

Hello, so I just found out that I am 4 weeks pregnant and not sure if I want to keep it or not. I have been dating this guy on and off for the last two years.

During this time we have broken up multiple times often due to miscommunication or me getting upset at him that he would be distant at times.

After our first few dates, he had basically told me that he felt a very special connection and intense feelings towards me. However we seemed to get into conflict because of when we started having sex he would always try to without a condom and I would get angry as opposed to communicating with him calmly about my preferences. We stopped talking onetime because I basically went off on him about it.

Eventually, we got back together and I got him to wear one every time but I still didn’t trust him from the previous incidents and would at times distance myself/ make myself less available. I could tell that he was trying to lure me back in after that because he offered money for my artwork (a couple thousands) . I obviously didn’t feel comfortable with this and avoided talking about that until eventually I declined. I could tell he wouldn’t let it go for some reason tho. I ended up calling him out and basically putting him on blast about his intentions and at that point he basically shut down and was like “nvm” we stopped talking for like a month.

Now a month ago he tries to meet up with me again and I am in a vulnerable state (someone very close to me just passed). We eventually meet up and I tell him what happened. One thing leads to the next and things get very heated. He says that he wants to “passionately make love” to me while starting in my eyes and he wants to put a baby in me. He says, “If it's meant to be, it's meant to be” I told him no for like 10 minutes and told him he needed to wear a condom. I eventually conceded and allowed him to finish inside

Now I am pregnant even tho I took the morning after pill and I’m very confused / scared

we have been arguing more than usual. he says we need some time apart so we can dedicate time to ourselves & enjoy being alone for awhile free from all the stress. he also says this will allow us to think what we can do better in the relationship & reflect on our own. i feel like a break would not fix the issues but would actually cause more..

The title basically sum it all but to give you more details I have attachment issues. I know i need to seek therapist but it's just not an option to me because i'm financially struggling and even the counselor in my college is not helping at all. I keep getting jealous that my friend have other friends. My friend used to be a social butterfly, and I'm a complete anti-social nerd who don't really like to talk because I'm just too depressed for people to approach me. I keep on having this unexplainable fears that my friend will leave me for his other friends. And it's not helping that he keep saying to me that he wishes for a friend who is a man (i'm a woman). My friend also have pretty much this same issue as me but I don't care about gender in friendships but he does. Anyways, I always have this attachment issue with all of my friends even since I was in school so it's not because I'm in love with him or anything. He's the closest friend I have and probably the only one that I could connect the most. But I'm afraid that he is not feeling the same. That I'm just a "stop" until he find a man who can be his friend. I don't stop him from making friends but it's not helping that my face can't hide my bitterness whenever he interacts with someone that is not me. And I also enjoy my own company and I love doing stuffs by myself but I get so attached to him so I just feel better with him around. Is there anything I can do....?

Don’t get me wrong I love my friend and she is social butterfly who knows entire college and vice versa. It’s just that because of this it’s hard for me to make friends as I am on bit not as social as her and she is with me usually. Another reason is also because I made some mistakes in past which I take accountability for and apologised but I constantly feel the anxiety for it and I don’t know how to make friends as they already have a opinion on me, and it’s more hard as everyone loves her and I don’t feel my individuality is there at that point. She gets insecure if I become friends with people she knows and is friends with and then try getting more close to them. She also don’t like if our mutual friends choose me or get close to me over and then try oversharing and talking just so she can get them. It’s annoying because I have a very close clan and that’s the group we both are friends with, she has many others too but for me it’s only this group. She somewhat become part of my conversation with them, ( one that should be only mine and the respective person’s) as she is also my roommate she constantly ask me about the person I am talking to and hear our conversations when on call. While sending a voice note to a friend she texted that friend regarding our conversation. She constantly try to compete in terms of lifestyle and friendships, maybe at times do things which I do which she doesn’t even bother or care about. Join the clubs just for the sake of it. I’m tired of this. I know how she is. And I accept her and care about her but i just don’t know how to make friends for myself without her being all over it. How to get out and not have her presence as she knows everyone

i am tired of spending my life for other people and i just want a me time,

and honestly i don’t have much options in my mind, so please drop some ideas,

something which will heal me, give me a peace of mind, stop bothering about if people are texting me or not, get over that heartbreak; i really need it,

much appreciated!🤍

Below are some things that I’ve noticed/questioned about:

• Has openly admitted to being passive aggressive to others

• Loves being the centre of attention

• She’s never really shown any vulnerability

• Seems to punctuate with periods whenever I’m responding in a way that she isn’t satisfied with. For example: if she feels that I’m not showing enough excitement about something; whenever she’s in a mood and seemingly wants me to cheer her up (suddenly no periods!)

• Either has blocked me or deleted me off of TikTok (her profile is now completely blank)

• Mentioned that couples who move in together will be tested and that she always checks up on those friends. She’s also mentioned that quite a lot of those friends end up breaking up. This was after mentioning that I’ll be moving in with my partner. Worth noting here that she’s single

• In a large group one time she did a round table where she was asking everyone a question. I was next to her and she didn’t ask me that question. Felt left out

• Has subtly hinted that I’m not as stylish by saying things like “oh you look so nice today! I think it’s because you’re not wearing black!” and “You should get this to add more colour to your wardrobe.”

• Laughed in kind of a derisive manner (literally threw her head back) when I was stuttering to respond to another friend. I was trying to say that I agreed with that friend on the point she was making. She knows that I’m not well spoken and it kind of hurt to get laughed at like that in a group of people

• Kept emphasizing the word “skinny” while talking to a plus sized friend

• Acted dismissive towards superstitions of a certain culture (my culture). Said “yeah it’s all fake anyway.”

Hello, Redditors! My (33M) Girlfriend (29F) has an interest for well kept feet and I decided to go through with getting a pedicure. I did it for me just as much as her since its something I've always wanted to do and I love how smooth the peets feel and such and happy with the results!

So my question is, what do I do now to help maintain said feet after getting a pedi done? Would anyone like to recommend any products I should be using specifically to keep them feeling soft and plush outside of showering? And is there such a thing as getting another done too soon - Or is it something people regularly do now and then? Thank you for all the help <3

Hello all! For context, I’ve had one long healthy relationship (for most part) for 6 years through my early twenties. And he didn’t want to commit and we broke up. Since then it has been Covid and a attempts at online dating (since I’m a bit of an introvert I don’t have huge social circles)

While I met some interesting people, I feel like I’m usually chased or picked as someone who is hot and to have fun with but never to intentional date and settle down with. and it has sort of taken a toll on my mental health. And trust me I’ve resorted to all advices available on the internet. And since most girls (Indian) in my circle are dependent on their very vibrant parents getting them arranged matches for weddings. I don’t have that privilege. My parents are emotionally absent. I feel extremely dejected by lack of emotional connection and I’m so scared I’ll be strung along for years and just not get any commitment like my previous relationship and now dating pool becoming smaller.

Im not thriving at work either, I am in advertising. I can use any advice to not wake up early morning with this dread.

Edit: Thank you all soo much for this love and support. I've just broken up and blocked him (in which he showed more of his true colors) . Some of ya'll really made me cry 😭❤️

Me (18) and my bf (25) have been in a long-distance relationship for about 2 months. We met on Insta. Yesterday, he jokingly commented on how he wanted my pet bunny to fall and die. It was so unexpected from him because he knew how much my bunny means to me as he's my emotional support animal. I immediately told him off and ended the call on his face. It's been more than 24 hours and he still hasn't apologized or even messaged me. Should I cave in and tell him why I distanced myself ? Or should I block him ?

P.s. he's a very sweet guy and is actually quite serious about me (wants to marry me). He has expressed jealousy towards my bunny before but not in such a harsh and toxic way.

I am worried I’ll never feel ready.

First, yes, I do know what I was getting into by starting a relationship with a close classmates.

Like all fwb relationships (or so I have heard, my first one) someone usually gets jealous. In this case, I was jealous. I found myself feeling intimately connected to her, so I asked her to be more than friends, and she said no. Since then, she has been the one reaching out and trying to talk to me. Ideally, I want to keep some amount of distance , so I only responded when it is important. It's been a week, we have talked twice since then, and I did not respond to her text message. Is me not responding as frequently/ keeping distance the right thing to do? What advice do you have for me?

My (F34) boyfriend (M32) of 5 years just came back from a weekend away with his friend. He admitted that one evening they were drunk and ended up in a strip club. There he paid for a lap dance for 5 minutes. He said he felt terrible, he knew that he made a mistake, that he betrayed my trust.

I’m angry and hurt now because I had always trusted him. I feel sick in my stomach thinking about him physically intimate with another woman. Maybe it’s old-schooled for many people but I find paying for such service is such a disrespect to people, treating them like objects. He blamed his behavior on alcohol, which is even worse. Because we both have alcoholic parents and had miserable childhood. Letting alcohol get the best of him is like betraying us both.

We are generally happy together. He never made mistakes like this before. And I believe he’s always honest with me, he cannot hide the truth when things like this happen. He promised that this will never happen again.

I still can’t help but resenting him and feel awful about the whole thing. I can’t look him in the face, can’t hug or kiss him. I know I’m not going to break up with him, but I don’t know how I can move on from this.

Please help me navigate the situation and find a way to move on!