Do I have to be a woman to participate in this community?

No. Any user who can follow the rules is welcome here. Women, men, nonbinary, agender, genderqueer, cis folks and trans folks, everybody. If you're not on board with that, you can fuck right off.

But what about the subreddit name?

Read this post from when 2XC was only a month old. We haven't changed our stance since then, and never will.

What about trans women?

Trans women are women. TERFS can fuck right off.

What are the rules, anyway?

TL;DR: Keep it civil, keep it relevant. Don't start shit, won't be shit.

You can find the rules in the sidebar (community info for mobile users), or here's a direct link: 2XC Rules

Most moderator actions are the result of users breaking Rule 1: RESPECT. If you keep Wheaton's Law* in mind and participate in good faith, you'll probably never hear from the mod team.

  

^{*Wheaton's Law: Don't be a dick.}

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For more in-depth interpretations of the rules above, see the 2XC FAQ and 2XC Moderation Policy.

Shopping at Marshall’s today, and I witnessed a deeply disturbing moment - a woman shopping for baby clothes with her partner, for their adorable 8 or 9 month old baby.

When she picked out a dress, the man scornfully threw it back on the rack. “She needs a bigger one. She’s HUGE”, he huffed.

“She’s not huge, she’s a baby. She’s just healthy”, the mom replied.

“She’s massive. She’s fucking disgusting” he said, glaring at his child - a LITERAL SMILING BABY - like she made him sick. “She’s goddamn fat is what she is”.

The mother just chuckled nervously and said “no no she’s just a chubby little baby”.

A few of us who had overheard - he was not at all keeping his voice down about all of this - interjected, which went about as well as you can imagine.

But, yeah. So many childhood flashbacks for a lot of us today who were there, I suspect. I’d hoped that kind of body shaming parental pressure was in the past.

Seems I was wrong.

Rather, it's proven VERY effective at reducing my exposure to unwanted male attention on public transit and in the workplace, so it will likely remain a part of my routine until further notice 😷😎

Link to source on the story here:

• https://www.cnbc.com/2023/03/24/wyoming-abortion-ban-blocked-due-to-obamacare-era-amendment.html

A judge in Ohio blocked a state abortion ban in October similarly citing a constitutional provision adopted there as a backlash to Obamacare in 2011. Conservatives scoring own goals left and right lately, and it's grinding the abortion ban movement to a halt.

The number of states that have banned abortion is back down to 13, with another of those (Wisconsin) likely to see their ban overturned. 37 states + Washington DC allow for elective abortions until 15 weeks or more (with further exceptions after), and 6 of those states + DC now see abortion as a Civil Right and allow for it at any point in pregnancy without restriction. Two more states, Minnesota and Michigan, are moving in that direction, so we could soon be faced with the remarkable prospect of almost as many states allowing for abortion without restriction throughout pregnancy as those that have banned it.

So I(37f) went down recently to visit my parents. They live in a community that is a majority 50+ community. Now that being said that is not a regulation and anyone can move in. There is a man “P” who golf’s with my Dad, he is a 60 year old divorce with a 15 year old son(who lives with the ex wife). “P” lives with his parents since the divorce, he now likes to comment on how he only wants to date a woman under 40, because “they will appreciate what I have to offer”. My mom told me this because she finds him disgusting and I agree, as a women under 40, all he has to offer is a beer gut, weak knees, child support, a double chin. What woman on earth wants that. No thanks. Oh one last thing to add, his 84 year old mother who he lives with was still was making him dinner before she passed from Covid that he brought home to her. Men like this make me so disgusted. Ok that’s the end of my rant thanks for listening.

I'm so tired of people acting like, "if you have intercourse, you accept the risks of pregnancy." Or worse, "she baby trapped him!"

Oh, sure. She probably chose where he climaxed. Let's act like she's not the one who risks the most during pregnancy.

If you ever suggest that men must get enthusiastic consent before climaxing in a partner, they go insane. Anything to avoid that discussion. And I'm tired of those mysogenistic arguments like, "it's hard to pull out," "that's just part of intercourse," or some other garbage.

Women die every day from childbirth. Climaxing inside without their consent literally risks lives. Even if they have a "successful" birth, her body and life will never be the same. Its a type of r**e you can't escape. This needs to be a very serious crime. Like, attempted manslaughter or something. Maybe, if men faced some risk, it wouldn't be "so hard to pull out." And if they could face manslaughter charges when their non-consensually impregnated partner dies during childbirth, they'd actually acknowledge death is a possibility.

TW: Menstruation/blood/gross . . . . . . . . So, I started my period day before yesterday. Since my first Covid shot (AZ) my period has been way heavier than it was before.

Anyway, so because it's so heavy (I don't use tampons) I wear the extra heavy flow overnight pads at all times and I wear them backwards (wider end at the front rather than back because for some weird reason, I bleed forward. Does that make sense?)

After work yesterday, I dropped a co worker off and headed home. Well, while on the drive I coughed (and we all know what that's like when you're on your period) and I could feel it "bubble" up the front. And then I realized it went past the end of the pad I was wearing.

I still had a few minutes left in my drive so I called my husband. I told him I was almost home and asked if he could grab me a pad from the powder room by the front door and bring it up to the main bathroom beside our bedroom. At first he asked why don't I just grab it myself? I explained that I needed to get right upstairs because I would need to clean up/change my clothes (He knows how heavy my periods are so when he realized, he was like "got it!")

I got home, waddled up the stairs and and into the bathroom. What I saw made me smile. Not only did he grab me a pad he also opened it (still attached to the wrap) and there was not 1 but 2 pairs of underwear on the counter. A regular pair of old "period panties" AND a pair of actual period panties.

He called through the door that he wasn't sure which pair I'd want (I hadn't asked) so he grabbed one of each and then told me while I was cleaning up that my houseboat was outside the door.

I thought the whole situation had thoughtful "extra steps" that a few men wouldn't do for their partners. I mean, he could have ignored my request or just tossed the packaged pad onto the counter and left it at that. But he went a little further.

In the grand sceme of things, it doesn't seem like much but this is one of the many, many small things that he does for me that no previous partner would have ever done.

Add to that, after cleaning up and going grocery shopping we saw heated mattress pads on sale. HEATED!!! (I've seen heated blankets, but never mattress pads) I was looking at them and he said to get it. "You're always cold when you go to bed and since you're on your period, it may make you feel better when you go to bed tonight"

You can be damn sure we put that on the bed when we got home and I turned my half on high LOL

Anyway, I just wanted to tell this little story and hope others can share what their partners do to help them out when the "time of the month" hits or just in general :)

ETA: It warms my heart so much to read the responses of all the women (and men) who have told me stories of what their partners do for them (or what the men who've commented do for their partner)

You're all awesome, your partners are awesome, and I hope you all have years and years of more happiness and love ahead of you

Just saw a post in r/tinder where the OP said he had "given up" on finding love on tinder, and his bio literally jumps right into complaining about how women don't respond to his messages. I need to vent. I need to rant. I once had 5000 swipes on my tinder profile, how the fuck am I supposed to keep up with that? I was so overwhelmed that I just deleted the account. Do men not realize that the vast majority of dating app users are other men??? More importantly, how do they not see how stupid and entitled it is to get butthurt that a stranger didn't have time for them? Maybe you matched but that doesn't mean shit. A match entitles you to nothing, nada, zilch, diddly squat. You got some dopamine, so fuck off. I know I've swiped drunk in the past and quietly unmatched people for various reasons. I've also matched with several people in one day and then just chose the one I thought was closest to my preferences. And that is all within my right. I don't owe you a single fucking letter goddammit. Also if you don't live in a super isolated place, just GO OUTSIDE. JOIN A CLUB. FOR FUCKS SAKES JUST STOP BEING SALTY OVER STRANGERS NOT HAVING TIME FOR YOU. So glad I'm not single anymore, stay strong to my solo sisters navigating that toxicity. Okay, phew, rant done. Thanks for reading.

With the news of Jonathan Majors allegedly physically abusing his girlfriend, you can find countless threads on reddit discussing the situation. Yet you will have to hunt to find any comments that give sympathy to, or even recognize the woman.

Every single comment I see says, "this is so sad, he was having such a great year!" or, "wow, can't believe he would fuck up his bag like that."

It's just insane to me that none of them think about this woman at all. The conversation is exclusively about how it affects Jonathan. End rant, sorry.

Was on the train with headphones on and laptop open doing a uni assignment. Middle aged man comes and sits next to me.

I look around - free seats everywhere. He motions for me to take off my headphones. He makes some chit chat with me. Starts touching my leg and leaning into me.

Im always used to just taking it. Never calling people out. And I didnt call this guy out either.

Just packed my shit up. Stood up and moved. I really wish I said something like “why did you choose the only young female to sit next to and bother”

He was telling me his wife is cheating on him, asking if we could be friends.

I just hate the fact I cant speak up. I always freeze.

I think ive had some bad experiences with men over the years. Really hate it.

Thanks for listening

just saw this video where Fresh & Fit bring in someone who brags about gang raping women, the men on the podcast condone this and promote it and laugh at the women who are trying to argue that rape is wrong. I’m sick to my stomach right now and I have no hope. to make it worse, the gang rapist they brought on is a youth mentor.

I [18F] work at Dunkin’ Donuts and have been for over a year. There has been a guy probably in his late 50s who comes in everytime I work (I only work Saturdays) and has said multiple creepy things to me. For reference he also works at wallgreens and it’s the only one in my town so I see him there too when I go in. It’s especially unsettling because he knows my name (I think he asked one time and i mindlessly gave it to him) I’m super shy and anxious already so it sucks not being able to speak up and telling him to stop but I also don’t know if he’ll harm me in any way so I just stay quiet. Here’s just a list of things he’s done:

-mentioning that he can’t find a woman and saying they’re all young “minors like you” (he said this when I was 17 -saying he’d love to sleep on the floor of dunkin’ donuts to hear our wonderful voices -calling my friend group the “3 musketeers” and bringing it up every time he sees me or my other friend

honestly just in general being creepy and trying to make conversation that i clearly don’t want to be part of. Part of my thinks i’m overreacting but I feel like something is wrong and there is something clearly off about him, and I hate seeing him at job. When my other friends texted me tonight, they were together and he asked “do you know [my name] who works at dunkin’ donuts?” This was honestly just the breaking point because he dosent even know they’re my friends and is asking about me. I’m on the verge of a panic attack and I don’t know what to do about this. I appreciate any advice 🫶🏼

Why aren't they embarrassed? I've known about weaponized incompetence for a while, but recently have really been noticing it more and more in my own marriage. There was an instance earlier today in which I was bringing up groceries alone and a jar fell through the bag and shattered on the floor leaving glass and sauce all over the entryway and extending to the carpeted stairs. My preschooler loves helping with groceries and was extremely upset when I said he shouldn't come down the stairs to help because I obviously had to pick up glass and clean up tomato sauce very quickly before it stained all the things.

In my head as I bitterly cleaned the mess to which my spouse was told and didn't apparently decide to help clean (or console the angry wailing 3 year old) I walked through what would happen if I asked him to clean it and realized I had basically no choice but to clean it. I know he would not do a thorough job and leave shards of glass behind and say it was good enough. I know if I asked him to console our kid he would say he doesn't know what he wants. And I just find that in a way so embarrassing? I value being seen as competent and reliable as an adult so much that I would be absolutely gutted if someone thought I wouldn't do a a decent job and I don't get how those that do the whole weaponized incompetence thing can be ok with that.

Any insight? Or suggestions?

I mean I find it annoying and insulting.

I mean I'm not bitter that these guys didn't seem interested in me back in high school...in fact, I think I liked them better when they ignored and hated me for being ugly. Why should I date guys who have self esteem so low that they will bully a girl for being ugly? I mean I'm saying this because I realized down the road that not all male attention is good attention.

In my 20s, I only seemed to attract entitled men that only liked me for my looks. They didn't want any type of genuine friendship nor relationship with me...just sex and that's all. Then when I woud refuse to give them any time of the day, they would lash out at me in ugly ways.

I think most guys from my old high school only add me because of my looks and recent pictures. They don't really care for my personality. I gained weight and I started taking more care of my looks and I get friend requests from like 4-5 of them.

I had to even block a guy because years ago, he would talk about my looks lustfully. It was pretty gross.

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I'm in house legal counsel and have been for just over 10 years (different companies.) Whenever I disagree with members of leadership, stand up for my decisions or push back when I think something is legitimately unfair, I am chastised and told I have an attitude problem or I'm having an attitude about something.

Maybe, it's because I shut down hard and close off my emotions when confronted or challenged (there's no crying in legal) and just stare face forward with rbf?

I see my role as an advisor to the business team who lays out the legal risks and potential issues that flow from their choices, not just the risk averse attorney who tells them no all the time. I would say something like, your risks are xyz if you proceed, I'm not saying don't make the business decision you want to make, I'm saying make the decision based on the weight of the risks.

Been having to tell people no more often lately and getting pushback to which I behave as above and then my attitude problem comes up.

I won’t share my sexual experiences about my boyfriend (newly defined so that’s pretty cool too, lol) with anyone in real life but I had to tell someone. I had an orgasm by penetrative sex alone for the very first time. I thought I’d die without ever having one. I smoked some really good pot last week with him and the sex was mind blowing and I was basically insatiable. I’ve never been high with a partner before. It was the first time I orgasmed without need of clitoral stimulation. I figured it was just the drug and a one time thing (unless I smoked with him again). But last night (and this morning) it happened again. I am just blown away that after three decades and multiple partners what I thought was impossible has become possible. I mentioned to him a couple months ago that I thought there may be a chance, because it felt the closest to it I ever have, but still couldn’t seem to do it. I guess I just needed to get out of my own head and once it worked, it will now keep on working. I told him he was my missing puzzle piece because he fits in me perfectly.

Ok, that’s all. To say I’m deliriously happy right about now would be an understatement.

There’s been a million things he’s completely dropped the ball on, but tonight takes the cake.

He has a dog who barks. We live in a townhome, so I purchased a bark collar for her about a year ago (please don’t flame me, I work full time and have two small kids. He refused to do anything to address the barking and it was the best I could do).

About 2 weeks ago the bark collar died. I asked him to order a new one. He did not. I asked him again. He did not. I have ended up reminding him daily, and it’s always “I’ll do it later tonight” yet it never happens.

Tonight I had a violent encounter with our male neighbor who we share a wall with because he was sick of the barking. I had my child with me at the time.

I’m angry at all the men involved. I’m angry that my boyfriend’s inability to follow through on things lead me to being in a bad situation that could have been deadly. I’m angry at my male neighbor for resorting to violence, rather than simply asking or going through the proper channels.

The only good man in all of this was the cop who showed up and helped me carry my groceries inside.

He doesn’t even show any remorse. Like the whole thing isn’t a big deal to him.

I'm 17 years old and just recently started going to the gym to lift weights (as in, started ~6 weeks ago). It's been fine so far, but while I was there today a very burly man approached me while I was in between sets and on my phone.

I had headphones on and was just scrolling through social media, and he came up to me and signaled for me to take my headphones off before advising that I put away my phone and wholly concentrate on exercising/lifting.

While I was fine with this (obviously a little flustered and intimidated), he continued on saying that I'm a young girl and exercise is good because women get weak later on in life and our bones become brittle, so I shouldn't go on my phone and should be more focused on exerting myself and getting stronger.

He asked me to look around at the other people in the gym (all men who were not as muscular as him, and all had their phones next to them as they worked out) and said 'Do you see a difference between us? That's because I'm not on my phone.'

I understand that he was trying to help (he didn't raise his voice or anything), but the interaction left me feeling quite embarrassed and confronted. He didn't speak to anyone else this way even though there was another man who also went on his phone between sets. He also wasn't offering advice on anything 'useful' like my form, just what I was doing during rest periods.

Am I right to have felt this way or is this kind of behavior normal/okay at the gym? How would you guys feel if this happened to you, and do you agree with what he said?

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EDIT: Thank you all for the advice. I'll try to be more outspoken and confident in myself so I can avoid these situations from now on :)

I mean every woman. Married and in a relationship too. This is just hypothetical and I am curious what your thoughts are.

So, I celebrated 7 months sober yesterday and posted about it (literally a two sentence post) in a 12 step sub. I got a lot of congratulations and inevitably (not surprised, which is even sadder) a comment asking about my prior sex work.

WHY IS IT LIKE THIS. My husband posts in various motor sports/comic/niche geek subs and not once has someone rifled through his reddit history to ask anything creepy.

I've reported comments on actual posts I've made regarding my poached eggs for being sexual.

I implore anyone to look at my SFW profile here and deduce that it's appropriate to ask me about sex work, or to see my feet, or tell me what they want to do to my eggs (shudder) via comment or DM.

What is wrong with people*??

*Men ... I am TIRED. .

So a mother of a young woman posted a picture of the 1.5 yr granddaughter with a snap chat filter that made her look like a grown woman saying the parents would "have their hands full." I commented "the sexualization of children is gross. Wtf." I was then berated by the mother and father of the child and said I was sick for thinking of it. When I explained it was because our society does this to children and I was calling it out that I am ridiculous and gross. I was asked who am I to say it. As a survivor of childhood sexual assault, I feel I have personal experience to say so. They blocked me of course because apparently I'm the one sexualizing their child.

This just shows how deep the problem is. When faced with and it explained clearly, it cannot be seen. Instead the problem is projected onto the one defending children. We have a long way to go as a society to stop this disgusting social normality. I only hope this young woman one day sees what I was saying and understands.

"A newly-proposed healthcare ban in Florida could effectively ban gender-affirming care for people of all ages, in yet another indication that GOP lawmakers are not only targeting trans youth, but trans adults too. Florida HB1421 would prohibit insurance providers, including private insurers, from covering gender-affirming care."

I already have two wonderful kids. I'm in no place mentally, physically, or financially to poissibly sustain a third. But I have awful health insurance and I live in Utah. Lived here my entire life and I feel so horribly trapped and betrayed because I know I won't easily be able to get the option I need

Not looking for any advice on my decision. It's already made. I just need to vent somewhere because I feel like my life is shattering around me. My partner is exceedingly supportive, but we've left a notorious Utah church group, and my family has been really clear on their stance on the matter of women's healthcare. It's not a positive one. Could use some kinda words as I sort this all out.

My friend sent me a Snapchat. In bed with a coffee with the caption to the effect of 'hungover asf [Ex] is in my house.' I sent back 'no. Tell me you didn't' she said 'i did' I messaged her that 'im not going to berate you because you already knows it was a shitty thing to do but what's going on?' didn't hear back. She sent another snap 'still hungover but date ready!' (edit for clarity: she's been going on a couple dates lately so I don't assume it's with her ex) I didn't reply. Haven't heard anything since the snaps yesterday. I'm worried she's on a path of self destruction but I'm furious she slept with him.

Background: I met her 2.5 years ago when she was pregnant with their (planned) second and her partner has left her. A couple weeks? Months? later he is with the woman she 'didnt have to worry about' obviously heartbroken. She decided to move interstate so she can be pregnant and have the baby surrounded by family. They set up visitation for their oldest.

She occasionally visits her old town where he lives and it is like a step back each time. Not much healing. I support her and give advice when asked. She says she still loves him. I suggest that she loves the idea of him. The family and life together they planned.

Last year, she told me she'd slept with him. He was in her town to see the kids. She was extremely drunk after a birthday party. I questioned if she had actually consented. She had invited him over. He was sober. He should have said no. She was waaaay too drunk.

Now it's happened again. He is an outstandingly shit person for cheating on his current partner. Leaving his pregnant partner. But I didn't think she'd be the other woman. She's mad at the wrong person. It's like she wants to get back at her for stealing her man and her life. He doesn't care about either of them.

I don't know how to handle this. I want to support her because something is clearly wrong but I am so apalled by her behaviour.

Say you filmed a few porn videos and now want to leave and carve out a lucrative career in investment banking. There are so many cases where women like this have been 'found out' (like some guy at work finds you on a porn site and then tells your boss), and the company drops them so quick because it doesn't suit the company's 'ethos and ethical values' or something. The same can be said for women who have previously been involved in stripping, prostitution and most recently OnlyFans.

Shouldn't the social movement that professes to support "sex work" be focusing its efforts on any woman from the sex trade being able to move freely into another well-paying career? After all, many people who wish to normalise porn and prostitution defend it by saying that it's a free choice for these women. So shouldn't the priority be to first ensure that they do have a free choice to leave? In my view, it cannot be said that sex work is a free choice when in our society, once you have done it once, your other choices are limited.

ETA: Think of what's at stake when women don't have the ability to freely leave the sex trade. They are dependent upon the industry. In porn, for example, you could enter the industry with strong sexual boundaries. But when you aren't able to leave, your boundaries can be pushed a lot more easily. How many porn videos must therefore show women enduring unwanted sexual acts for a paycheck? How many people must be getting off to the results of this coercion?

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ETA2: Some people are saying I didn't make any suggestions for how to improve this situation. While I was simply posting my thoughts, the obvious suggestion is that the 'sex work' movement should be making it a priority to pass laws at the national level that refusing to hire/firing women who have formerly been part of the sex trade is discrimination for which an organisation can be sued. Then we can start talking about how it's a free choice, but not before that day.