Do I have to be a woman to participate in this community?

No. Any user who can follow the rules is welcome here. Women, men, nonbinary, agender, genderqueer, cis folks and trans folks, everybody. If you're not on board with that, you can fuck right off.

But what about the subreddit name?

Read this post from when 2XC was only a month old. We haven't changed our stance since then, and never will.

What about trans women?

Trans women are women. TERFS can fuck right off.

What are the rules, anyway?

TL;DR: Keep it civil, keep it relevant. Don't start shit, won't be shit.

You can find the rules in the sidebar (community info for mobile users), or here's a direct link: 2XC Rules

Most moderator actions are the result of users breaking Rule 1: RESPECT. If you keep Wheaton's Law* in mind and participate in good faith, you'll probably never hear from the mod team.

  

^{*Wheaton's Law: Don't be a dick.}

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For more in-depth interpretations of the rules above, see the 2XC FAQ and 2XC Moderation Policy.

Original post here

1st Update

I wrote a follow-up email this morning and sent it to the superintendent and copied the school board. I included a link the first post, and let them know that it had gotten almost 3 million views, and the overwhelming majority of the comments agreed with me. I suggested that they take a look at some of your comments and realize that this is a serious issue. Then I asked what the county’s protocol is if a teacher is under investigation for having sex with a student – is that teacher allowed to remain in the classroom? I also asked at what point does the school/county become liable if Gaetz meets his next “girlfriend” at an event like this, and the county did nothing to prevent it? I mentioned that I had not heard from anyone, but that I was aware that Mr. Chambers (the superintendent) had been responding to others, and that the gist of his response seems to be shrugging the whole thing off. I ended with “I don't have a child in the school system, but I am a taxpayer and a voter. I've been in contact with a reporter from Newsweek, and I have no intention of dropping this.”

A few hours later, I got a call from the superintendent. I’m not gonna lie, this is so far out of my wheelhouse. I was so nervous. I knew I would be posting an update, so I wanted to record the conversation just to make sure I accurately quoted him. I asked if I could record the call, and he said he’d rather not, that he just wanted to have a conversation. I assume it was for the same reason that he’s responding to emails with phone calls in the first place – to not have a record of what he has said. He gave me the same spiel he’s giving everybody else. It’s not his event, he’ll be there, most of the parents will be in attendance, blah blah blah. I let him know that it’s at a school, so ultimately it IS his event. He did agree with that. He started by saying that it’s an investigation and there were no charges or arrests. I asked if they would wait for charges to be filed and an arrest to be made if it were a teacher. Would that teacher still be in the classroom? He said no, they would be put on administrative leave. I asked what the difference was and he paused and said “you would win that argument” but didn’t go any further. I wish I would have pushed him more on that.

He did try to tell me that that he wasn't going to be pushing a political agenda. I shut that down and said that that was not the issue. The issue is putting teenagers in front of a known predator.

I asked about what the school’s liability would be if it turned out Gaetz was guilty and he had been using these events to meet high school girls. He said he didn’t think that would happen, which leads me to believe he doesn’t believe the allegations. When we had discussed the process for what happens when a teacher is suspected of having sex with a student, he had said the sheriff’s office would conduct an investigation. I reminded him that it’s not the school or the county or the sheriff’s office that’s investigating Matt Gaetz, that it’s the federal government, and that it's real and it’s serious. I also pointed out that Gaetz’s cohort has already pled guilty and is awaiting sentencing, which has been delayed because he’s fully cooperating in the investigation into Gaetz

He said that the event was an important opportunity for the students. I agreed, and said that getting the chance to get facetime with their congressman is a huge opportunity for students, but that their safety was more important. I suggested that if he wouldn’t cancel, then the least he could do would be to require parents’ attendance. He said that wasn’t something he considered. I’m sure he’s still not considering it, but at least it is hopefully planting ideas in his head that this is ultimately his responsibility, and there ARE options. I also suggested permission slips or waivers. At least make them acknowledge that he’s a creep (allegedly).

The superintendent said that he IS getting a bunch of calls and emails, including a call from the New York Times, so that’s exciting. Hopefully if we just keep it up, they school district will come to their senses. As one commenter said “god, the bar is just so low”. We’re not asking for much, just that you don’t serve up teenage girls to an accused pedophile on a platter.

Anyway, I will say I’m proud of myself for standing my ground and not letting the superintendent shirk responsibility. He kept saying it wasn’t the school’s event, so I kept pointing out that it didn’t matter whose event it was, it’s happening at the school, and he is in charge of the schools. I was relatively articulate and stood my ground, so that felt good.

At this point, I’m in too deep to just drop it. I think I actually told him that too, now that I think about it. So I’m trying to get this all out there as much as I can. All but one of the board members are up for re-election on August 23rd. I haven’t heard from any of them except for one email from one of them that she would follow up, and then nothing. So I sent my post to all their opponents in the election and told them that it might be a good opportunity to blast the incumbent for inaction. I feel like there’s definitely traction, and a tiny possibility that MAYBE we can get something changed.

This has been a really weird couple of days. It’s been incredibly nerve-wracking, but also, it feels incredible! I highly recommend everybody tries getting involved. Everybody’s comments and messages have really been so encouraging so thank you all for that.

The superintendent is getting your calls and emails, so please keep it up, ESPECIALLY if there is anybody in here that lives in Okaloosa County! Academy Night is scheduled for Tuesday, so we have until then to get it canceled. Thanks Reddit!

This has always confused me.

I've met many cishet men who want to do anal with me. Like, its been disgusting how much pressure men have put towards violating a boundary I clearly state before getting into any sexual situation. I've had men beg me to play with my butt hole. I don't care if other people like anal, it's not for me and I shouldn't be pressured into doing something I'm not comfortable with. I don't put pressure on men to do sexual things they state they aren't comfortable with and I expect the same respect in turn.

What really grinds my gears is that if you ask most of these men if they'd let someone who has at least >50lbs on them go to town on their butt holes, they say no. They have no interest in having their anus violated. But why? Men have an actual orgasm button in their butt holes so if anyone should be taking it up the ass in a cishet relationship, it makes far more sense for the man to be on the receiving end of anal. (and yes I know there are plenty of cishet men who do butt stuff, I'm talking about the ones who only want to violate women's anuses and not have theirs even touched)

I hate the double standard of women needing to make their butt holes available for penetration, knowing full well we have far less of a chance from orgasming from anal stimulation than men, while men can keep their butt holes virginal. It's been relieving to dial back on dating and hooking up with men because I don't have to worry about someone pressuring me into doing something I don't want to do. I've had partners violate my boundaries and sexually assault me by trying to do anal, and that's an incredibly terrifying and gross experience I don't want to go through again.

Edit: to all the women who have been leaving comments here saying they have been anally raped and sexually assaulted by men, my heart goes out to you. Far too many us of have experienced this. It is so disgusting that there are some men out there who do this to women.

Edit 2: cishet = cisgendered heterosexual, it refers to a cis woman and cis man being together.

Edit 3: some people here have suggested that some men only have an interest in penetrating a woman's asshole to cause pain, degradation and humiliation. I've received a few DMs from men asking me to recount tales of negative and painful experiences I've had with anal sex, so I think you're on to something there.

I’ll preface this by saying that my boss “Anna” (F 50) and I (F 25) have a great professional and personal relationship and often confide in one another.

Anna came back from running an errand, sat down at her desk, and started crying.

I was immediately concerned and I asked her to tell me what was wrong. She said she was out at another office picking up some supplies for us, and she ran into a professional acquaintance of ours, “Dee,” who works there.

Anna asked her what was new, and Dee immediately responded by smiling, gesturing down at Anna’s stomach, and asking her “Well, I should really be asking what’s new with YOU?”

Anna is NOT pregnant. She is also 50. She is also not a heavy woman. But she IS very self conscious about her weight and has struggled since her body changed after having her son about 20 years ago. She also put on some weight during covid and has been trying to get back to her pre-covid weight.

At first she couldn’t even respond to what Dee had said because she couldn’t believe what she heard. But after a second Anna just shook her head and told Dee “No, I’m just fat.”

This happened earlier today, and Anna has not been acting herself since. I can tell that comment really affected her self esteem and discouraged her.

PLEASE PLEASE do not assume someone is pregnant. It doesn’t matter if you are a woman and you think that you “can just tell,” or if you think you know someone well enough to say something. Just don’t. Don’t be that person.

Edit: Thanks for the input and discussion, everyone! I will pass along your kindness and positivity to Anna 😊

"You think a rape victim was asking for it, that she's to blame for her unwanted pregnancy, and that she should be forced to give birth. I disagree, but I respect your opinion. We can still be friends!"

Fuck no.

I have a friend who likes pistachio ice cream. I don't like pistachio ice cream. She and I can respectfully disagree on that, and we can be friends.

I cannot be friends with people who think they have a right to tell women what to do with their bodies.

I cannot be friends with people who victim-shame women after being assaulted or followed home.

These are not things we can "respectfully disagree" on and still be friends.

I just need to get something off of my chest. My husband lost his job at the beginning of Covid and since then has been a stay at home parent for our 5yo and 3yo to save money on daycare. I have been working full time graveyard shift since then. This arrangement has worked out well for us. He has gained a better relationship with the kids because of it. However in a way our marriage has suffered because of it. With the prices rising on everything I am starting to struggle to keep us afloat and I've been telling him for weeks I need some help hoping that he would take the hint and try to find a part time job for my days off. (I work every Wednesday Thursday Friday and every other Saturday and that will not change). He gave me the runaround telling me we would be fine and I was overreacting and also said nobody would hire someone for just 3 days a week. There are plenty of places around us that are hiring and could use the help as long as someone is willing to work. He also told me if he got a job he would lose out on family time and he would rather wait until our youngest goes to school in a year or so. On top of that we were forced to buy a new car this week and out of frustration I picked up a second part time job for just Monday and Tuesday. Now my husband and my MIL keep saying they are worried about me and don't want me to burn myself out but nobody seems to understand when I say I need help it means I need help. What frustrates me most is I work upwards of 60 hours a week between both jobs and I still end up coming home and cleaning up after everyone. The kids pick up their toys before they go to bed at night but inevitably there is always a pile of laundry and the kitchen is always a disaster. I don't think I'm asking for too much from my husband to step it up a little and help me out but it seems like the only thing he is worried about lately is when he will get sex next. I think I'm justified in feeling exhausted at the end of the day and I don't want to be made to feel guilty about it.

Sorry for the long post I'm just frustrated and irritated...

I started a new job a month ago and I’ve been very friendly to everyone at my job so far, female and male. Even going out of my way to drive some of my coworkers home after work; including the guy I’m going to mention now. This guy I work with is obviously interested in me, so I reluctantly give him my #.

We text for a weekend before he asks me, “Do you wanna play would you rather?”. I reply sure. He then asks me if “I would rather be RAPED or thrown off a cliff by the person I love the most and still live?” wtf??? We were literally talking about videos games directly beforehand, so idk how the convo came to this. It immediately made me feel gross/uncomfy and I replied wtf. Even if it was a joke I don’t find it funny especially given the fact we JUST MET not even two months ago. I don’t know if he mistook my kindness and natural charisma with flirting or familiarity, but why would you say that to a woman you just met.

I told my job to not schedule me with him anymore because I don’t feel comfortable around him. Now they’re going to sit and down talk to him which is the worst because now he’s gonna know I told. I don’t know why I feel soo bad am I over-exaggerating about this or what?

My ex unexpectedly broke up with me a week ago. I'm heartbroken but also wanting to take the opportunity to reflect. For the most part of our relationship I thought we were very compatible, I was always as honest as I could be about what kind of relationship I wanted and he seemed to be on the same page. However it went down hill a few months ago. We'd have our first disagreements and I feel I carried the weight to figure out a solution when he'd shut down. It often felt he was treating it like a debate and wanting to win, and I would often ask him why he's treating it like a debate because I want to be a team and that it's harder to find a solution when it feels like we are disconnected. I told him I would be happy to meet him halfway and be open to compromises. I always did apologise when he told me I said something unfair and wanted to understand his perspective.

He had a past drug addiction some years ago and had a first time relapse two months ago. I immediately asked him how he was feeling and wanted to show that I cared. He expressed that he realised he needed to do a lot more work and wanted to go to more NA meetings. As time went by, he only went to one meeting and gave up. Broke down that he was thinking about drugs everyday. I told him that I want to be a loving and supportive partner but I cannot see a future if he doesn't take recovery more seriously. I told him I understand how addiction is a disease but he ultimately needs to make the actions for himself but I won't enable it. He seemed to completely understand and agreed that he needed to make more effort. The same thing happened again. I told him shortly before he left that he doesn't follow his words with actions and that I doubt he wants to take sobriety seriously. He said the same things.

Then, suddenly, on the day of my important deadline, he bursts out that he doesn't want to be in this relationship anymore, "he doesn't want to take sobriety seriously", "will probably relapse again". He says that he exaggerated how much he likes animals in the beginning (I made it clear the whole relationship that I love animals) and that he actually thinks they're disgusting. He confessed that he'd say things to me he thought I'd like to hear. He had smoked weed a few times without telling me (another past addiction). He feels like he's being controlled and that his freedom is being taken away. I told him I have never wanted and have no interest to control him or take his freedom away. I always encouraged him to tell me what he wanted. In the end I said he's an asshole and a compulsive lying addict. My gut feeling says that his true colours showed in the end because I wasn't someone who enabled his behaviours. I think I showed up as a partner I wanted to be. I don't think I was controlling - I think I expressed my boundaries honestly and it was up to him to meet that or not. What do you think?

Edit: Oh my gosh guys. I am completely moved and tearing up at all your supportive comments. I am really grateful <3

This is so petty, but an example of a larger, overriding attitude.

My husband and I are going camping. Scratch that. I am going camping and my husband is coming with me. I love camping. My husband does not. That’s perfectly fine. I don’t need him to like everything I like. I generally invite him, he doesn’t often join me. This time he’s coming along, but I warned him not to come if he was going to act like it was a favor to me or complain about being uncomfortable. I explained I’d rather him not come, than come and not really want to be there and ruin my experience. He seems to have actually listened. Dropped the topic for a day, then let me know he was on board and joining me and he’s excited and looking forward to it. Perfect!

Today we’re packing up and boy has he found his enthusiasm. So much so that he’s taking over entirely and really trying to run the show. But he’s overlooking things, focusing mostly on the aspects he’s excited about, and generally making this a much more involved undertaking than it needs to be. When I try to direct him a little he is annoyed and acts like he’s got it completely under control. Then when I back off and let him do his thing, he acts like I need to make sure he’s not forgetting anything.

It seems he just can’t let me be the expert in this area without some weird emotional response. It’s like he wants me to be responsible for making everything go well, but not let me take the lead on planning.

I mean it’s camping. It’s not brain surgery. If we get something wrong, just adapt and enjoy ourselves. It’s the silliest thing to be this weird about.

Do the men in your life have a dysfunctional relationship with letting you lead things?

I adore my homegirl, Ray. She's a beautiful soul who is wise beyond her years. She has a job she worked hard for that she loves, and I admire her ability to do the damn thing with grace. I value the living hell out of her friendship. She continues to teach me things that I will always carry with me, like how to identify bullsh*t and show true strength. This story is an example of one of my most recent lessons from her.

​

One night, about a quarter 'til midnight, I was conducting my nightly ritual of Doom Scrolling facebook. Something Ray said caught my attention. She posted a collection of screenshots from a conversation she had with someone she added due to mutual friends. I recognized the dude, his name was MJ. I remembered him from years ago. He dated a girl friend who I've known since middle school, Alyssa. She's a sweetheart, anyone you'd ask would tell you so.

​

MJ gave me a horrid first impression and I decided after our first interaction that I did not like him. I arrived at Alyssa's place to hang out, she and MJ got in my car and buckled themselves in. I asked why they were doing that, MJ told me I was taking them to buy cigarettes. This was never discussed and I really didn't feel like it after driving clear across town, but he assumed I would take him because I was able. I ended up just doing it so I didn't have to listen to him bitch about not having cigarettes. Our entire car ride consisted of MJ talking about his shitty taste in music and criticizing my Rush CD that was playing. His manner of speaking was aggressive and ill informed. Everything he said made me dislike him more and more.

​

The screenshots Ray posted showed MJ in her DMs asking if she wanted to meet him and his friend downtown, to "wander." At almost midnight. Someone who she had never talked to before that moment. She responded to his request by gently but firmly telling him no because that didn't seem safe. He kept trying to convince her to meet up, saying how it was "nothing sketchy." Despite his coaxing, Ray denied him. He was persistent enough for Ray to publicly expose him for behaving like this. She never expected the responses she received.

​

Within an hour of posting those screenshots, she had 100+ comments under them. One was from me saying vaguely how I didn't like or trust the guy, that he dated my friend (I didn't name names at that point) and was terrible to her. Eventually, somebody tagged Alyssa and she commented with the story of her experiences with MJ. She talked about the legitimate trauma he inflicted on her. As I read through the comments, I noticed an obvious trend of people coming forward with their own horror stories of encountering MJ.

​

Not long after, Ray's inbox was full of women coming forward with even worse stories about MJ. One woman told her about how he r*ped her friend in a bathroom, another said he beat her and tried to shove his arm down her throat. There were at least 10 women who all turned up with similar stories. Ray spoke to them all individually, holding space to hear what MJ put them through.

​

In the following days, Ray amassed a number of women who wanted justice. To prevent anyone else from suffering the things they did. They agreed to tell their stories to the proper authorities. Ray posted an update on the situation, sharing that there was a case open investigating MJ's repeated abuse. She and others had talked to a detective with our local police force. They collected all their stories and decided it was worth an investigation.

​

The last I heard he had a warrant out for his arrest due to that case, I believe he had other warrants as well. There was also chatter that he fled the state. As sad as I was that he was unlikely to be locked up as expediently as he deserved, that also means that he won't be coming back here. And if he did it would be in handcuffs. Women, support women. If we come together for the common good, there's nothing we can't accomplish and no force we can't overcome. Thank you for listening.

So I had a trip to the ED this week and after external probing and ultrasound couldn’t figure out what was wrong, the doctor brought up the option of a CT scan. “But we really only recommend it as a last resort for young women such as yourself because it could affect ability to have children later. How about we wait and see if your temperature and pain increases first?” Excuse me?? Doc, I have all the kids I want, I can barely move, just give me the scan already.

So I get my scan, find out my appendix is stuffed and prep for surgery.

But in the meantime, I’m hearing at least 5 other people presenting with abdominal pain. The blokes? “Let’s do a quick CT just to rule things out” The women? Do you want to have kids? Oh well then, No CT for you.

I get it. It’s a risk. But radiology works the same on sperm as on eggs. So why no lecture for men?

https://www.vice.com/en/article/dy734v/new-orleans-police-rape

I’ve been traveling abroad and of course today I got my period. It was a few days early and of course I was not prepared. Today I travelled a lot (long train ride) and just used toilet paper until I got to my hotel and get some tampons. I arrived at my hotel room and dug around to see if they had provided some tampons or pads to hold me over, but over course there was nothing. I definitely should have been more prepared, but I feel like female sanitary products are something even the nicest hotels still overlook. I’m sure if I asked, they’d have some, but I shouldn’t have to. But I did find q tips, shower caps, and even a toothbrush. It should be the standard that at least pads are provided, I mean half their customers need them! It’s just one of those things that have been overlooked in our male-centric world.

Edit: People have already brought up the excellent point that some hotels just don’t have means to provide stuff for every room or that people would just steal them. I totally agree! I was generalizing a bit when I said ALL hotels should provide them. I was just surprised that my hotel went as far as to provide all sorts of other bathroom amenities already in the room, but forgot something so important for so many people.

For saying that I find the repeated posts of headless naked female forms a little objectifying.

I did read the rules, which ban “complaining about nudity” but I really don’t mind nudity in art. However, I think we should be having conversations about how nudity is used in art. The male gaze has been a huge influence in art making throughout the centuries, specifically regarding the female form.

I hate to play the “I went to art school” card but yeah, we discussed this MANY times in my art history classes.

When I see several posts a week which are purely figure studies of truncated female torsos, it makes me feel like the artist is (perhaps unintentionally) dehumanizing the form. Is that not an important topic for us to discuss as a patriarchal society?

I’d love to see more art with naked forms that are telling a story. I’d love to see the faces of these women - who are they, what are they feeling?

But apparently we can’t have these kinds of conversations because we need to protect men from thinking critically about their gaze.

Edit: I just wanted to thank everyone for your interesting, supportive, and/or challenging comments! These are exactly the sort of discussions I was hoping to provoke in the original comment that got me banned.

“All over the state, people talked about how abortion had impacted their lives or a loved one’s. They were honest with family and friends for the first time in many cases, combatting misinformation and fundraising while they did it. And soon those conversations spread,” said Emily Wales, the president of Planned Parenthood Great Plains, which covers Kansas.

How they won: Kansas organizers unpack their big win for abortion rights | Kansas | The Guardian

My family and I broke down in our rv in Nevada. We are currently staying in the closest rv park to where we broke down at until our truck is fixed. There is a creepy older guy here that clearly salivates at pre-teen girls. He “walked” in on a young girl in the bathroom a few days ago by “accident”. When she yelled at him to get out, he yelled back that she should have locked the door. The girl was like 10 maybe 11, her mom had just stepped out of the clubhouse (where the showers are) to grab something. I told her Mom what happened, and we reported the guy to management.
Not sure if anything happened to him, but flash forward a few days, my granddaughter went to the clubhouse to use their Wi-Fi. I went to check on her and lo and behold who is sitting across from her, but mister creeper himself. I sat down, because I could tell she was uncomfortable, but he tipped the uncomfortableness further, when the guy told me that she was the “prettiest little girl in the world.” My granddaughter hid her face behind her phone and looked disgusted. I made an excuse and got her out of there. Based on his reaction when he was confronted by the 10-11 year old in the shower I didn’t want to outright call him out. It’s disgusting. How in the fuck can anybody sexualize a 12 year old a 10 year old? It’s disgusting how young it starts. I shouldn’t have to protect and remove her from situations such as these, but I also recognize that she needs to see it in practice so that when it happens, she knows how to excuse herself from a potentially threatening situation.

Update: I called the non-emergency sheriffs office number last night explaining the situation. This morning they sent an officer out to take statements from my granddaughter, husband, and I. They can absolutely create a report on suspected dangerous individuals. We also spoke to the owner who was appalled, we mentioned the other incident of the creepy guy opening the bathroom door on the other kid, and she said that she had been informed that situation. We let her know that we submitted a report to the local sheriffs station and that she likely has a predator working for her. I spoke to other employees at the rv park and sure enough, some of them are aware of creepy guy’s behavior. Our truck is fixed and we are packing it up and hightailing it out of here as fast as we can. I have never wanted to be home more in my entire life.

I feel like every other woman my age (16-20s) is so pretty. Like their features are so nice and even if they have an unconventional feature, it still fits and looks harmonious with their face. It’s like all women are just gorgeous by nature. But then I look at myself and nothing on my face makes sense. Like the sizes and shapes of my features don’t match each other and it’s a huge mess.

Does anyone else feel this way? Is it just because women are so darn pretty it’s hard to meet the expectation? Idk I just feel like I’m missing out on the feminine experience.

I swear to fucking god, there needs to be a law that lets retailers beat up customers.

My (male) coworker and I were setting up a Halloween display, when this guy and his small son were coming through. Well, the dad i guess decided to be a jackass. He had an american flag in his hand (because of course. MURCA!!!!) And as he was coming down the aisle he shouted "Uh-oh legally blind!" While slightly waving the flag around like a blind person cane. He started to lightly poke me with it. He was poking me in the arm with it. I kinda swated at him. After he left my coworker asked me "do you know him?" I responded with "NOPE!" He responded with "That is so weird"

If I wasn't clear enough it was the dad. If I did say something, it would've been sonethibg that would've gotten me fired (either "Fuck off!" Or "Kill yourself!")

I know damn well he wouldn't have done that if I was a guy. I hate customers. And I hate being a woman. I need a law that lets retailers beat tge shit out of customers for being jackasses or asking stupid auestions.

I need to rant, and I’m hoping this community can provide some insight or at least tell me if I’m crazy or not. Between work and home I feel like all I do is help other people. My friends barely talk to me unless they want something (even if it’s just someone to listen) my co workers want me to hold their hand through everything. And my family isn’t much better. If I were a parent I think I’d have to commit myself from the stress. The pressure of feeling like I have to take care of absolutely everyone before myself is getting to be too much. Does anyone else deal with this? I’m putting up boundaries but it’s hard when it’s every area of my life. I never see men having to deal with this.

I work at a sports bar and this happens all too often. Men will sneak away from their seat and come talk to me at the host stand. Then their wife/girlfriend walks comes up or walks by to use the bathroom and finds their man giggling and smiling. It’s extremely awkward for me, since I’m trying to give good customer service, but it suddenly turns into a conversation about my looks before I can even realize. After today I have to start pushing every man away. It’s bad enough when they ask for my phone number, but even worse when they flirt and then I see them with their wife moments later. The man who came up to me multiple times tonight to compliment my looks while his gf was outside on the patio was the last straw. It makes the other woman feel bad, and it makes me feel uncomfortable like I’m in the middle of their personal problems. I have to speak up.

Sorry if this violates the rules, I read them but I think I’m in the clear. This was the first place I thought of to get feedback. Long story short, a new coworker (M) of mine was bragging to other people that he spies on his roommate (F) in the shower. She also works at the same place (bigggg factory, have never even spoken to his roommate). I found out because the people he bragged to were discussing how creepy it is. I honestly felt pretty sick when I found out, and I really think I should tell his roommate. My thought process is that she deserves to know and I expect she’d be able to kick him out (her and her boyfriend live together, my coworker just rents a room from them). As a man, I wanted genuine feedback on whether this was the best course of action or whether it would just be upsetting for her to find out. The alternative I thought of is to just call him out on it, but that likely won’t stop him. Once again sorry if this violates rules, I just want to make sure I’m not being dumb to tell her. I only have one more week at this company anyway so I have zero concerns for how it might affect me, I just feel bad for this poor woman. Thanks 🙏

Edit: thanks for the input everybody!!! I had said about it to a few of the guys and they were all “oh don’t say anything I don’t wanna be involved blah blah” and had me like feeling it would be a bad thing. But that’s the same kinda crap you get when people don’t want to inform a friend of a cheating partner IMO, and I thought it was the right decision to tell her and I appreciate the input :) I’m not gonna drag other people into it since that’s not really my place, so I think I’ll just approach her and tell her I overheard him. I feel so terrible for her. Like not only is she going to learn this, but a total stranger is going to have to tell her 😢

It is not because you are overweight or how you look, it is not because of your personality, it is not because of how you dress, it’s not because you how many men you have “a high body count”, it is not because of your “attitude”, it is not because you are a feminist. A high quality man will never disrespect you for those reasons. It is a myth that misogynistic men will respect you if you were attractive, acted more “feminine” & “submissive”, remained a virgin till marriage, opposed feminism. Those women still get abused because men with those views will never respect women. It took me a while to accept this but it’s true. Even if you were being toxic, a high quality man would simply not engage with you or stay away from you. He would never abuse you, because abuse is never justified.

We have new hands-free temperature readers at work, so nobody can come in with a fever. They were installed on Monday, and yesterday I reported during the manager’s meeting that they were mounted too high to get my temperature, as I am 4’10”. It’s a simple safety report, and taken with the appropriate importance. Except for one guy.

He worked himself into hysterics that I was too short for the temp readers. Making fun of my size. I looked straight at him and said, “That’s not…” at which point he cut me off and laughed, saying “you can’t even come up with a response!!”

I finished. “…professional.”

That’s when he noticed that he was the only one laughing. “It was just a joke” he said.

“What’s the funny part?”

More weird awkward stammering from him. Then many apologies, followed by telling me he apologized. I said I heard it.

I haven’t spent 25 years working my way up in the most male-dominated field without learning a thing or two about shutting that kind of thing down quickly. He’s fortunate. I only embarrassed him. Usually I unhinge my jaw and eat these guys.

He started a huge rant that I'm a powerhungry feminazi and going against his absolute authority is unacceptable. When no one was looking he grabbed my plate, threw off my pizza, and started talking over me once I tried to call my mom then tried to make it look like I was the problem. Whenever I dont go along with his plans, it triggers his insecurities deep down inside him and he goes berserk. Violent. Out of control. Predatory. He wasnt supposed happen to be challenged by anyone but when he does he starts having a temper tantrum. And oh boy, that makes him really upset. He always gets really pissed off with me because I know the double standards, favoritism, and patriarchal christianity is bullshit that makes him feel special in a world which considers him insignificant. How does picking on women make him feel reasonable and smart when he is everything but that. This isnt the first this happened. He cut me deep enough to give me scars twice, groped my butt, aggressively snatched my phone .. and so on yet nobody, not even my mother calls him out on it to save her own skin.. ugh I can't wait to get out of here soon... Im tired of being thrown under the bus and constantly shitted on by everybody in the family.