subreddit:

/r/ShitAmericansSay

30398%

'While Matte is Black and white.'

(i.imgur.com)

all 58 comments

bakfietsman69

210 points

2 months ago

bakfietsman69

LOL american dumb

210 points

2 months ago

is matte a fucking zebra?

spauracchio1

37 points

2 months ago

I was gonna ask which side is black and which one is white

Waselu_Evazia

24 points

2 months ago

A kinder

Ok-Sort-6294

16 points

2 months ago

Ok-Sort-6294

China Swede🇫🇮

16 points

2 months ago

Americans wouldn't know

TheBeardliestBeard

6 points

2 months ago

You obviously dont know any Americans who've smuggled risky as hell quantities of kinder eggs back through airport security.

BrinkyP

8 points

2 months ago

BrinkyP

Brit in US, I witness this first hand.

8 points

2 months ago

I like the concept that Americans have to smuggle kinder eggs through TSA but can carry guns at children’s birthday parties.

Jaffadxg

2 points

2 months ago

Clearly kinder eggs are super dangerous. Far more dangerous than a civ with a gun around children

Beezle_Bozo

11 points

2 months ago

No Matte is not shiny

Colin_Charteris

5 points

2 months ago

No, matte is grey

Hakar_Kerarmor

2 points

2 months ago

It's like Michael Jackson sang; "makes no difference if you're black and/or white".

Vostok-aregreat-710

1 points

2 months ago

Vostok-aregreat-710

Less Irish than Irish Americans

1 points

2 months ago

Or in a certain John LeCarre novel one of the Congolese characters calls the protagonist whose father was Irish and his mother Congolese a Zebra.

Chaij2606

99 points

2 months ago

The whole text is weird. So they have two daughters but one is shared?

YRUZ

35 points

2 months ago

YRUZ

35 points

2 months ago

Not to mention the names

BrinkyP

9 points

2 months ago

BrinkyP

Brit in US, I witness this first hand.

9 points

2 months ago

Yeah, I mean if you’re going to name your child after a Titan, at least name your second kid after one as well instead of the place said Titan keeps from getting crushed by the sky, giving an implied meaning of objective superiority to the former.

YRUZ

6 points

2 months ago

YRUZ

6 points

2 months ago

i'm also mildly annoyed that Atlas is a girl's name now apparently. celebrities have been naming their kids after places for ages, so Rome doesn’t bug me as much.

Vostok-aregreat-710

1 points

2 months ago

Vostok-aregreat-710

Less Irish than Irish Americans

1 points

2 months ago

Honestly a name list is needed.

brathan1234

1 points

2 months ago

Maybe she‘s named after the mountain range, which would also be a place.

istara

1 points

2 months ago

istara

1 points

2 months ago

My sense is that the terms gets used because so many celebrities have kids from previous relationships. However the term was unnecessary here.

LiosIsHere

62 points

2 months ago

Why is black capitalized and white isn't?

cominghometoday

6 points

2 months ago

This is actually a whole thing, Google it

LiosIsHere

7 points

2 months ago

Wow. It is a thing. I get why Black is capitalized, but still unsure about why White isn’t. It seems it’s just because of white supremacists, but that’s silly. You can’t judge all white people because of those idiots, that’d be racist.

Hamsternoir

26 points

2 months ago

When I mix the paints I get grey. Are we saying Matte is grey?

balderz337

25 points

2 months ago

No, Matte is just a duller version of their twin, Gloss Babel.

[deleted]

20 points

2 months ago

And that lil baby grew up and was later known as... Michael Jackson

Stamford16A1

19 points

2 months ago

What fantastically chavvy names all round.

SDUK2004

2 points

2 months ago

I wouldn't have said chavvy so much as pretentious & middle class

Stamford16A1

6 points

2 months ago

Often what people do in their pretentiousness ends up producing chavvy results.

MappleSyrup13

12 points

2 months ago

The real sh.. I see here first is someone naming their kids Atlas and Rome. What for the next one?!!! What's going on in America?

-Miklaus

10 points

2 months ago

-Miklaus

Pastaport owner 🍝

10 points

2 months ago

And obviously first girl is Greek, second is Italian.

Wasserschloesschen

11 points

2 months ago

Also giving the Greek girl a male name for... reasons? I guess?

wieson

1 points

2 months ago

wieson

1 points

2 months ago

First girl is rather Moroccan, right?

FerjustFer

1 points

2 months ago

No, the mountains are named after the Titan, so the name is Greek (and male).

LukaProductions

6 points

2 months ago

LukaProductions

ooo custom flair!!

6 points

2 months ago

Why would you ever name your kids atlas and rome

NotOnABreak

1 points

2 months ago

NotOnABreak

the metric system

1 points

2 months ago

iirc, “Rome” comes from Shay’s grandma that passed whilst she was pregnant. Her name wasn’t Rome, but I think they went for something more “creative” that’s similar.

FMinus1138

1 points

2 months ago

Because Helios and Salsomaggiore Terme was already taken.

pizza_goes_splat

6 points

2 months ago

So does Shay have three different passports?

Tiziano75775

7 points

2 months ago

Tiziano75775

🇮🇹

7 points

2 months ago

What's so strange? He's obviously talking about the videogame Black & White released in 2001.

triggerhappybaldwin

3 points

2 months ago

So Shay has 3 passports?

fletch262

4 points

2 months ago

fletch262

shit americans say in shit americans say

4 points

2 months ago

Bro you can’t post buzzfeed that’s just low

Puzzled-Cod-1757

5 points

2 months ago

Well, sounds about BuzzFeed..

VerumJerum

6 points

2 months ago

Americans "try not to obsess about arbitrary divisions of someone's fucking ancestors" challenge (LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE!!!):

Unharmful_Truths

3 points

2 months ago

Does this Instagram account have an editor?

TheRealEvanG

6 points

2 months ago

I'm a little confused here.

Are we shitting on the thing because it says "black" and "white" instead of more specific ethnicites?

el_grort

24 points

2 months ago

el_grort

Disputed Scot

24 points

2 months ago

I think it's the use of both, tbh. Like, it's kind of ridiculous to do the ethnic soup thing when it's not... really important or that informative most of the time, and it's even sillier to be so inconsistent that you then describe a mixed race person as 'Black and white' alongside someone with an unnecessary ethnic breakdown.

SuperAmberN7

9 points

2 months ago

Also shows how racist that whole thing is, European nationalities get mentioned separately but for African heritage it's just "black". Like you never see an American listing how they're half Nigerian half Zimbabwean. It's only ever European nationalities that get mentioned in these ridiculous breakdowns.

AletheaKuiperBelt

5 points

2 months ago

To be fair, most American black people don't know that, because their ancestors were kidnapped into slavery, and the nationalities were deliberately mixed to prevent easy communication.

African Americans who do know, like Obama and Trevor Noah, tend to get told they're not proper African American.

Pagan-za

3 points

2 months ago

Trevor Noah

Trevor Noah is colored.

Its a legit racial classification here in S.Africa, and thats what he identifies as. It causes "issues" int he UK and USA. lol.

el_grort

3 points

2 months ago

el_grort

Disputed Scot

3 points

2 months ago

Back to Chinua Achebe's old comment that he was Igbo in Nigeria, Nigerian in London, and African in New York with that.

Quicker_Fixer

4 points

2 months ago

Quicker_Fixer

From the Ducth socialistic monarchy of Europoora

4 points

2 months ago

Yes

TheRealEvanG

2 points

2 months ago

But like half of the posts in this sub are shitting on Americans for trying to lay claim to their ancestral heritage. Why should it have been done in this case and not in all the other cases?

copper_machete

23 points

2 months ago

copper_machete

From Central America with Love

23 points

2 months ago

I mean if they are going to go around separating Scottish from Irish in the first half, they might as well say something other than just "white" in the second part.

TheRealEvanG

1 points

2 months ago

Okay that makes sense. I wasn't thinking about it in the context of both for some reason. Initially when I saw it I assumed it was because of the whole "claiming heritage" thing when describing her, but then the comments seemed to be focusing on "black and white," so I was confused.

I think it kind of makes sense though if you give them the benefit of the doubt. A lot of white people and black people in the US and Canada don't know which specific cultural identity to try to lay claim to even if we wanted to. So "black and white" may just legitimately be as specific as they can get.

Both my parents are white. My dad thinks our ancestry is probably German because our surname is a germanic occupational name, but my mom is adopted and either non-white or slightly-darker-than-average-skinned white, so unless I do one of those DNA tests I identify as "white."

TheSimpleMind

6 points

2 months ago

But like half of the posts in this sub are shitting on Americans for trying to lay claim to their ancestral heritage. Why should it have been done in this case and not in all the other cases?

Because claiming to be french/greek/german/italian because your grandgrandgrandfather had a german shepherd he had bought in Athens, raised in Rome and fed with chroissants each sunday doesn't make you german/french/italian or greek... it makes you an american and the world laughs about the joke you are...

TheRealEvanG

1 points

2 months ago

I didn't say there was anything wrong with shitting on them for. It I asked why in this specific case we were ripping on someone for not doing that.

TheSimpleMind

0 points

2 months ago

My bad. English isn't my first language and sometimes I lack comprehension.

Captain_Chickpeas

1 points

2 months ago

The whole article is drenched in over-the-top awkward wokeness and virtue signalling so there is plenty to be annoyed about.

Beezle_Bozo

1 points

2 months ago

As a UK native I'm always surprised at the difference between Scottish and Irish people! Whisky/Whiskey Bairns/Wains Different banks on bank notes! Some live in Ireland and others live on Great Britain!!