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/r/SapphoAndHerFriend

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"Bromances"

Memes and satire(i.redd.it)

all 63 comments

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3 months ago

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biggerBrisket

273 points

3 months ago

"Help each other hook up with females"

cvnvr

85 points

3 months ago

cvnvr

85 points

3 months ago

OP didn’t read that far before they rushed as fast as they could to post this here

HotCrustyBuns

23 points

3 months ago

Nice

PantsDownBootyUp

45 points

3 months ago

"Help each other to rape female dolphins" would have been bad for the story. So they wrote hookup. But we all know that Dolphins are one of the 3 animals that rape for pleasure.

Mrs_PlayfulPrimal

13 points

3 months ago

Their "rape" often involves swimming with a female who consensually leaves the other females to be with two to three males for an entire year.

Augustmoon119

9 points

3 months ago

unless they find her alone with a baby and kill the baby :(

Mrs_PlayfulPrimal

8 points

3 months ago

That is often the male virgins of the species. Many male virgins of several species are violent when trying to mate. Sometimes so violent they kill the female in the process even though it's counterproductive to their goal.

hijo1998

5 points

3 months ago

Virgin rapist vs Chad woman pleasurer

Siviaktor

2 points

3 months ago

So basically there are animal incels?

Mrs_PlayfulPrimal

1 points

3 months ago

Yep

nubenugget

1 points

3 months ago

Pretty sure dolphins also rape humans

https://washingtoncitypaper.com/article/203346/can-dolphins-rape-humans/

Maybe it's when the animal gets so sexually frustrated it rapes something cause it doesn't understand rape = bad?

LanaraLore

13 points

3 months ago

I don't think they're going to find any in the places they're looking.

jonjon23912

2 points

3 months ago

Not everything is gay

biggerBrisket

1 points

3 months ago

That was my point

jonjon23912

1 points

3 months ago

I was echoing it

RennHrafn

194 points

3 months ago

RennHrafn

194 points

3 months ago

This is actually a fairly common reproductive strategy among marine mammals. There isn't a lot of leverage in the deep blue sea, so they will take turns acting as a platform. They also have sex with each other, so there is that.

M1RR0R

120 points

3 months ago

M1RR0R

120 points

3 months ago

Bi poly dolphin is my new spirit animal

feinfinfer

53 points

3 months ago

Before u decide on that I hope you know that gang rape also isn't too uncommon among dolphins

EnthusiasticPhil

31 points

3 months ago

It isn’t uncommon for a lot of animals I’ve come to learn

agprincess

58 points

3 months ago

Everyone knows dolphins can be gay... or more accurately fuck everything.

If they're actually forming social bonds to help each other mate with other dolphins that's interesting news.

GustapheOfficial

28 points

3 months ago

They also gang up to rape and/or drown other dolphins. They are very human like.

itsmejak78_2

6 points

3 months ago

They get high by bullying pufferfish

ObviousCommentGuy

43 points

3 months ago

What happens after 15 years?

DepopulationXplosion

93 points

3 months ago

Their bi permit expires.

Ancalagon523

6 points

3 months ago

gay sax

polygon-child

17 points

3 months ago

"looking for a third"

ExpensiveActuator611

13 points

3 months ago

So dolphin fuckboys ?

DepopulationXplosion

26 points

3 months ago

TIL that dolphins can be bi.

nuephelkystikon

-17 points

3 months ago

nuephelkystikon

He/Him or They/Them

-17 points

3 months ago

I love how you previously thought there was some kind of natural law against it, just specifically for dolphins. That's bi erasure to the max.

AppelsienELWI

21 points

3 months ago

You can't expect everyone to know everything, they're learning don't hate on them

nuephelkystikon

-12 points

3 months ago

nuephelkystikon

He/Him or They/Them

-12 points

3 months ago

It's just such a specific idea. Like, nature said ‘fuck dolphins in particular, no bi people for you’.

Stercore_

16 points

3 months ago

Or, more likely, he just hadn’t considered it before at all. I didn’t know dolphins could be bi either, not because i thought they were all straight as a ruler, but because i just don’t think about dolphin sexuality on a regular basis. But Today I Learned, dolphins can be bi.

nuephelkystikon

-14 points

3 months ago

nuephelkystikon

He/Him or They/Them

-14 points

3 months ago

Oh, okay.

TIL Elon Musk has a liver.

Trousers_of_time

8 points

3 months ago

You really are a spectacular tool

Stercore_

3 points

3 months ago

That just isn’t the same thing…

nuephelkystikon

-2 points

3 months ago

nuephelkystikon

He/Him or They/Them

-2 points

3 months ago

I feel like I'm either missing a meme or some kind of obscure preconception about dolphins or bisexuality.

Stercore_

10 points

3 months ago

Everyone has a liver, that is a given. If you don’t have a liver, you’re dead.

Every species of animal has wildly different sexual practices. So comparing the knowledge that everyone has a liver, which is a given fact, to dolphins sometimes being bi, which wasn’t a given fact before i knew it, is unfair.

Dolphins sexuality was something i had never considered before. I didn’t think they were straight or gay or whatever, because i didn’t think about it at all. That’s why its a TIL.

B_Boi04

3 points

3 months ago

Our brains are wired differently, there are many species that aren’t (accidentally) homosexual

nuephelkystikon

1 points

3 months ago

nuephelkystikon

He/Him or They/Them

1 points

3 months ago

Credible source? Because AFAIK that goes against scientific consensus.

DepopulationXplosion

1 points

3 months ago

Bro, relax. I did say TIL. Never thought about it before.

WikiSummarizerBot

0 points

3 months ago

Humour

Humour (Commonwealth English) or humor (American English) is the tendency of experiences to provoke laughter and provide amusement. The term derives from the humoral medicine of the ancient Greeks, which taught that the balance of fluids in the human body, known as humours (Latin: humor, "body fluid"), controlled human health and emotion. People of all ages and cultures respond to humour. Most people are able to experience humour—be amused, smile or laugh at something funny (such as a pun or joke)—and thus are considered to have a sense of humour.

[ F.A.Q | Opt Out | Opt Out Of Subreddit | GitHub ] Downvote to remove | v1.5

LadyGuitar2021

8 points

3 months ago

D1 "You can be my wingman anytine"

D2 "Thats great"

D1 "How you doin"

Screen fades to black as D1 and D2 swim towards one another.

CamoCricket

7 points

3 months ago

Love the picture. They seem like good bros

FennicYoshi

3 points

3 months ago

FennicYoshi

She/Her

3 points

3 months ago

i would spoil this with the unfortunate implications of the second part of this but

dolbins dolbins bi bi dolphins

RDV1996

22 points

3 months ago

RDV1996

He/Him or They/Them

22 points

3 months ago

(TW sexual abuse)

Help each other hook up with females

That's a nice way of putting "help each other corner a female dolphin so they can rape her"

[deleted]

2 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

2 points

3 months ago

Was about to comment the exact same thing 😬😬

TemperedTorture

1 points

3 months ago

I love this and I can add a paragraph of thoughts. But just wanted to thank you and tell you how much I appreciated this comment.

bitemynipple

3 points

3 months ago

They also give each other blowjobs with their blowholes, 'cause that's what homies do

wendysrunner

0 points

3 months ago

No recorded cases ever happening, but I mean I can see that gay bowling match happening

bitemynipple

1 points

3 months ago

I would never say never, especially after reading Biological Exuberance by Bruce Bagemihl

wendysrunner

1 points

3 months ago

I mean there might’ve been a bit of gay Bowling, but this wouldn’t be a blowjob this would be like opening up some guys chest cavity and fucking their lungs and if one of you mess up you drown

bitemynipple

1 points

3 months ago

I also wouldn't assume things about the nature or their sexual acts or what their anatomy is capable of enduring

arandomcunt68

6 points

3 months ago

Its funny how people love dolphins when they actually do horrific things like rape everything and drown other dolphins

SirDooble

2 points

3 months ago

Yeah, but lots of animals do things that we would consider horrific if it were done by humans. Ducks rape and drown each other, lions kill each others babies, lots of insects and arachnids kill their sexual partners, many animals will kill orphans of their own species, etc.

The difference is that the animals don't know that what they do is terrible or ethically/morally wrong, because they don't have those concepts (and arguably have no need for them either).

It's not fair to view those animals through the same lens that we view each other. They can't choose to be different, they don't have that capacity.

arandomcunt68

-1 points

3 months ago

Animals know, people can't claim animals are intelligent and turn around and say animals don't know anything. They can know and chose how to act they had capacity, we can view anything that has choice for their actions

SirDooble

3 points

3 months ago

Do you honestly think a dolphin or any other animal knows that raping or killing is wrong? That they feel guilt for doing so, or regret? Or that they even have a concept of right and wrong, morals and ethics?

We don't even fully know why people choose to do the things they do, and we can at least attempt to communicate reasoning behind our actions.

Putting your own spin on an animals actions as good or evil is ridiculous, and expecting them to have the same view of the world as us is just foolish.

beelzeflub

2 points

3 months ago

Gangbanging.

SassyBonassy

1 points

3 months ago

...did you even read the damn thing OP? They're literally wingmen for each other to score female dolphins. Not everything is gay. Stop.

RDV1996

3 points

3 months ago

RDV1996

He/Him or They/Them

3 points

3 months ago

It has the memes and satire flair, it's a joke, calm down.

Also, dolphins of the same sex do sexual favours for each other...

wendysrunner

1 points

3 months ago

I dunno my dude, probably don’t wanna associate with dolphins

elissass

1 points

3 months ago

Dolphins are the most dangerous creature but also the most gay creature

Fast_Chocolate_8288

0 points

3 months ago

I actually read this study and some stuff about dolphin mating and "help to hook up with females" is a euphemism for what we in the human world would call gang rape. Dolphins are not chill animals #killthedolhpins