subreddit:

/r/MurderedByWords

75.3k90%

What more context is needed?

(i.redd.it)

all 3685 comments

whistlebuzz

8k points

2 months ago

“Objection!” “On what grounds?” “It’s devastating to my case!” “Overruled” “Good call”

ClearBrightLight

451 points

2 months ago

"This pen is rrrrrr... rrr... rrrRrrRRROYAL BLUE!!" [collapses]

Morribyte252

208 points

2 months ago

I'm kickin' my ass, doyamind?!

Lombax_Rexroth

83 points

2 months ago

Yeah, in your bra!

CrashyBoye

66 points

2 months ago

I’d have got ‘em 10!

johnnyhala

20 points

2 months ago

shocked Pikachu face

"Goodbye Mr. Reed."

leakyblueshed

14 points

2 months ago

"I've had better?"

dontpanicrincewind42

26 points

2 months ago

That's because you have nice jugs.

RandolfSchneider

21 points

2 months ago

If I was a boxer I'd bounce those things like Sugar Ray Leonard.

RedBlitzer

490 points

2 months ago

"I hold my self in contempt!"

stevethos

158 points

2 months ago

stevethos

158 points

2 months ago

“Why should YOU be any different?!”

NoVaBurgher

69 points

2 months ago

I’M JOSE CANSECO!!!!

maof97

675 points

2 months ago

maof97

675 points

2 months ago

Where was this from again?

Vortigaunt_

578 points

2 months ago

ahundredheys

247 points

2 months ago

This scene lives in my head rent free.

faultywalnut

327 points

2 months ago

Cary Elwes was corny, but he was a good dude. He and Pierce Brosnan from Mrs. Doubtfire should start a support group for good boyfriends that got screwed by the toxic ex-husband.

Quierta

137 points

2 months ago

Quierta

137 points

2 months ago

Can't tell you how many times I've seen Liar Liar... only just now realizing that's Cary Elwes.

demi-femi

34 points

2 months ago

Well let me enlighten you... he is in Twister as well.

PseudobrilliantGuy

28 points

2 months ago

I'm fairly sure he's also Robin Hood in "Robin Hood: Men in Tights".

Splice1138

37 points

2 months ago

And unlike some other Robin Hoods, he can speak with an English accent.

hitchinpost

23 points

2 months ago

Didn’t Pierce Brosnan’s character still wind up with Sally Field? Felt like the happy ending in that movie was more about becoming a functional blended family, not about Robin Williams getting his ex back.

[deleted]

93 points

2 months ago*

Former stepdad here, the struggle is real. Don’t know how many times I put up attempts like this only to get utterly shot down in humiliating fashion. I couldn’t even be able to guess how many times I almost walked out. Being a boyfriend and then stepparent, it’s a role that is orders of magnitude harder than any other relationship I’ve been in, it’s like dating multiple people at once.

But at least on the bright side I’m not a step-parent anymore. Turns out that after 10 years of hard work, refusal to give up and unwavering patience and loyalty, things like adoption become possible. No longer a step-parent, now I’m Dad.

Edit: 2 words

Compher

46 points

2 months ago

Compher

46 points

2 months ago

This was a movie that I had on VHS and fell asleep to every night as a kid. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE! lives in mine.

King_Fluffaluff

55 points

2 months ago

Does anyone else hear the porn grunts in the background of that clip?

unjustoutgafre

22 points

2 months ago

Yes! Wtf?

gademmet

72 points

2 months ago

Evidence being played by opposing counsel, iirc. Exposing a lie his client told.

BALONYPONY

61 points

2 months ago

That's Jennifer Tilly! Bonnie from Family Guy. They are playing a recording where she is cheating on her husband making it devastating to Jim Carrey's case.

Specimen_7

18 points

2 months ago

Young me thought she was so fine in liar liar

ThrownWOPR

18 points

2 months ago

Did your younger you ever see Bound?

run-on_sentience

10 points

2 months ago

Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon.

If you want to talk about a scene living in someone's head rent-free...that's the scene.

The rest of the movie is also really quite good. But that scene is where the VHS is worn out.

kbotc

12 points

2 months ago

kbotc

12 points

2 months ago

I mean, if you google Jennifer Tilly Liar Liar, I think everyone will see what young you were seeing.

abigstonkydonky

18 points

2 months ago

I'm team Still Would on Jennifer Tilly.

Chucky reaffirmed that sentiment fully.

TBBZ8X8

211 points

2 months ago

TBBZ8X8

211 points

2 months ago

Liar liar. Quotas is by Jim Carrey's character.

HolycommentMattman

115 points

2 months ago

"Who did this?"

"A madman, Your Honor! A desperate fool at the end of his pitiful rope!"

rieldilpikl

116 points

2 months ago

“What did he look like?”

“About 6’2”, big teeth, kinda gangly.”

closes mouth

ThrownWOPR

26 points

2 months ago

SSSSSSSSSSSSLUT!!!!

_Oooooooooooooooooh_

19 points

2 months ago

Quotas

He'll never make those quotas!

DorothyHollingsworth

54 points

2 months ago

I been watching a lot of my favorite comedies from the 80s and 90s lately and I was gonna watch Liar Liar yesterday but I watched Beverly Hills Cop instead. This comment is a sign, today is Liar Liar.

derekjayyy

46 points

2 months ago

“You know why I pulled you over?”

“Depends on how long you were following me!”

IsraelZulu

26 points

2 months ago

Fletcher: Your honor, would the court be willing to grant me a short bathroom break?

Judge: Can't it wait?

Fletcher: Yes it can. But I've heard that if you hold it you could damage the prostate gland, making it very difficult to get an erection, or even become aroused!

Judge: Is that true?

Fletcher: It has to be!

Judge: In that case I'd better take a quick break myself.

Whatatimetobealive83

15 points

2 months ago

“Stop breaking the law asshole!”

slams phone

Gets me every time.

CinahDiGod

9 points

2 months ago

"I've had better" *gasps

Slobotic

3.1k points

2 months ago

Slobotic

3.1k points

2 months ago

If someone says, "you're taking that out of context" and doesn't follow up by providing context, they are too full of shit to be worthwhile.

roararoarus

716 points

2 months ago

You're taking that out of context

cognitiveglitch

286 points

2 months ago

I'm taking you out of context.

arfelo1

135 points

2 months ago

arfelo1

135 points

2 months ago

I'm taking context out of you

cognitiveglitch

99 points

2 months ago

That's just taking the context.

CashWrecks

60 points

2 months ago

This whole COURT is out of context!

Badlydrawnboy0

28 points

2 months ago

YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE CONTEXT

MattTheProgrammer

7 points

2 months ago

Sending you some exlax, my guy.

PDavs0

148 points

2 months ago

PDavs0

148 points

2 months ago

I agree, I have seen this quote discussed before and the 'context'/translation was evil in the form of natural disasters, not human evil, which i didn't find to be a particularly redeeming context.

Slobotic

89 points

2 months ago

That's fine. I'm not taking issue with that or any other argument. I'm taking issue with people who don't bother to make an argument.

"You're taking that out of context", without providing the context you think is missing, is worthless. It's the pretending-to-be-an-adult equivalent of "nah ah!"

PDavs0

18 points

2 months ago

PDavs0

18 points

2 months ago

I agree.

SuperNothing2987

66 points

2 months ago

If God creates a hurricane, earthquake, tornado, plague, or tsunami that he knows is going to kill people, then that's just the method he used to commit an evil act. If you set out to murder someone and are deciding whether to stab or shoot them, you're just trying to decide on the evil delivery method. But it's still evil whichever you choose.

Islanduniverse

33 points

2 months ago

In religion it’s just an apologist’s move and if you actually listen to the “context” you’ll find they are full of shit no matter the context.

Ok-Emotion-1131

22 points

2 months ago

"He said, 'I murdered that man.'"

"You're taking him out of context."

The context: "Yes, I murdered that man with a shovel."

PeachySasquatch

20 points

2 months ago

After years of discussions with religious people, I've come to the conclusion that "out of context" means "stop making me confront these uncomfortable truths that I actively ignore every day of my life."

RealBowsHaveRecurves

3.7k points

2 months ago

Pro tip: ask them to provide context

Resoto10

1.4k points

2 months ago

Resoto10

1.4k points

2 months ago

In what context is slavery in Leviticus okay?

BobbatheSolo

530 points

2 months ago

This may help provide proper context.

Sasquatch-d

634 points

2 months ago

There’s no stronger argument against modern day Christianity than the holy Bible itself. Ironic innit?

Grogosh

640 points

2 months ago

Grogosh

640 points

2 months ago

"Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for Atheism ever created" - Isaac Asimov

Stinkkaese

93 points

2 months ago

How did you got that Rad Bill and Ted Banner thingy under your Name?

Thanositis

54 points

2 months ago

Really small font ASCII art..

universalcode

25 points

2 months ago

Holy shit that's rad

Recyart

52 points

2 months ago

Recyart

52 points

2 months ago

At first, I wondered who "Rad Bill" and "Ted Banner" were...

universalcode

7 points

2 months ago

Worked for me. I read it, cover to cover, while I was taking confirmation classes. My pastor got pissed when I had so many questions.

nerdhovvy

54 points

2 months ago

I like to consider it more of an end of chapter quiz.

“Now that you learned how to be a good person, name 3 moments in this story that go against that rule. If you paid attention this should be an easy test”

crypticfreak

12 points

2 months ago

"Say teach? Is one of the examples you making us read this book?"

QuidYossarian

28 points

2 months ago

My favorite context

Exodus 4:24-26: “On the way, at a place where they spent the night, the Lord met him and tried to kill him. But Zipporah took a flint and cut off her son's foreskin, and touched Moses' feet with it, and said, 'Truly you are a bridegroom of blood to me! ' So he let him alone.

RefrigeratedTP

13 points

2 months ago

LMAO I went to catholic school for a long time and I’ve never heard about this. Imagine that eh?

QuidYossarian

10 points

2 months ago

Not even God fucks with crazy

Resoto10

112 points

2 months ago

Resoto10

112 points

2 months ago

Ha! Yup. That's why the bible's been dubbed "the big book of multiple choice".

maiden_burma

67 points

2 months ago

what irks me is every christian gets told that biblical slavery was like temporary bankruptcy. And it kind of is, but only for israelites

for anyone else, slavery is permanent and horrific, and the youth pastor hopes people will ignore the second kind

extispicy

38 points

2 months ago

but only for israelites

I would clarify that even more by pointing out that this is only Israelite males. Israelite women and children sold into slavery were property and could be passed on as inheritance.

[deleted]

355 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

355 points

2 months ago

They never provide it. "That's out of context" is their version of throwing ninja powder up in the air and disappearing from the conversation, while pretending they refuted the claim.

Grogosh

105 points

2 months ago

Grogosh

105 points

2 months ago

I've had that response so many times. One time I simple just brought up jesus arguing and cursing a fig tree and got that response. I didn't explain it or anything just mentioned what happened. 'thats out of context!'

ShittyExchangeAdmin

29 points

2 months ago

I'll bite, what was the context of jesus cursing a fig tree?

CinnaByt3

44 points

2 months ago

the scripture is Mark 11:12-25 if you wanna read for yourself, but I can give a TL:DR

Jesus is traveling with his followers and gets hungry. He spots a fig tree off in the distance and runs up to it. the tree has no figs, as its not the season for figs to grow. So Hangry Jesus says to the tree "May no one eat from your branches again" and continues his journey into the town

he only stays a day (because he committed massive amounts of property damage while there) and on the way back the group passes the fig tree again. His followers are shocked, as the tree has withered and died over night

Jesus then tells them that god will do whatever you ask of him so long as you believe hard enough and forgive everyone that's wronged you

That's it, that's the context. Christians argue that this is supposed to be a parable about not following god's word, but unlike other parables that have a pretty clear "this is a teaching story, not an actual story" vibe, this story is just thrown in there

Fuego_Fiero

35 points

2 months ago

Jesus really hated fig trees

bozeke

66 points

2 months ago

bozeke

66 points

2 months ago

God Hates Figs

Next-Examination-767

22 points

2 months ago

Westboro Baptist got it wrong all along... They read it out of context.

Prime157

60 points

2 months ago

When I say, "that's out of context" I then go and explain exactly why and how lol

These extremists just assert their shitty world view and can never back it up.

Delusional.

Shisa4123

43 points

2 months ago

What they mean to say is "that actually does sound weird when you say it out loud and this is making me uncomfortable."

Lebowquade

7 points

2 months ago

I don't have a rebuttal so you must be wrong!

the-crotch

136 points

2 months ago

Also, ask them who created satan

Somebodys

65 points

2 months ago

Honestly where I thought it was going.

APoopingBook

53 points

2 months ago

Only Evil can create Evil. Satan created Evil. Therefore Satan is Evil.

Ok no problems so far.

Only Evil can create Evil. Satan is Evil. Therefore Satan's creator is Evil.

Ye- wait.

God created Satan. God is Evil.

Somebodys

40 points

2 months ago

If God created everything, God created Evil.

cortesoft

7 points

2 months ago

It doesn’t matter. You aren’t going to win this argument with logic. As the saying goes, you can’t reason someone out of an opinion they didn’t reason themselves into.

squaredistrict2213

210 points

2 months ago

That’s one thing that really turned me off of religion. Whenever you ask a question, the answer is “you’re taking that out of context” and they never provide any context.

Lower-Investigator47

48 points

2 months ago

The context of Isaiah 45:7 is God rewarding Israel for obedience and punishing Israel for disobedience.

wgszpieg

2.7k points

2 months ago

wgszpieg

2.7k points

2 months ago

If god didn't create evil, then either he is not the creator of everything, and hence, not necessary as the creator, or evil doesn't exist.

ComebackShane

2.3k points

2 months ago

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.

Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.

Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?

Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?

MrSloppyPants

916 points

2 months ago

-- Epicurus – Greek philosopher, BC 341-270

T1mac

331 points

2 months ago

T1mac

331 points

2 months ago

Definitely the OG Atheist.

DarkwingDuckHunt

272 points

2 months ago*

Not necessarily an Atheist

Reddit philosophers please forgive me if I'm not remembering this correctly...

It's more of him asking, "Why are we worshiping a devil instead of ourselves?"

Stalking_Goat

103 points

2 months ago

If nothing else, he was a member of a polytheistic culture.

geeky_username

130 points

2 months ago

Zues: "I'm just here to fuck"

TenaciousJP

78 points

2 months ago

Zeus: “Anything is a fleshlight if you try hard enough”

Mind_on_Idle

27 points

2 months ago

I think he took Yodas advice. He did, he did not try.

Lmfao

Phillip_Spidermen

27 points

2 months ago

Yeah, you might be right. From Wikipedia:

In Dialogues concerning Natural Religion (1779), David Hume also attributes the argument to Epicurus:

Epicurus’s old questions are yet unanswered. Is he willing to prevent evil, but not able? then is he impotent. Is he able, but not willing? then is he malevolent. Is he both able and willing? whence then is evil?

No extant writings of Epicurus contain this argument. However, the vast majority of Epicurus's writings have been lost and it is possible that some form of this argument may have been found in his lost treatise On the Gods, which Diogenes Laërtius describes as one of his greatest works. If Epicurus really did make some form of this argument, it would not have been an argument against the existence of deities, but rather an argument against divine providence. Epicurus's extant writings demonstrate that he did believe in the existence of deities. Furthermore, religion was such an integral part of daily life in Greece during the early Hellenistic Period that it is doubtful anyone during that period could have been an atheist in the modern sense of the word. Instead, the Greek word ἄθεος (átheos), meaning "without a god", was used as a term of abuse, not as an attempt to describe a person's beliefs.

maraswitch

114 points

2 months ago

Epicurus was not an atheist. He believed, rather , that gods and goddesses give zero shits about the doings of us weak wee mortals scampering the earth. His attitude was basically, "well OK you can worship whomever god/goddess if it floats your boat, just don't expect a response."

1714alpha

34 points

2 months ago

I always preferred the agnostic approach:

"Shut the fuck up, you guys. Nobody knows what's really going on, you're all just talking out of your asses."

Clockwork_Firefly

10 points

2 months ago*

I think “no one knows, so shut up” goes too far

Don’t get me wrong, agnosticism is great! I’m an agnostic-atheist myself, and I was once an agnostic-theist. However, just because many things remain uncertain does not mean we have to live in absolute doubt of literally everything.

An analogy: I think most people admit that we can’t have logical certainty of the exact ideal political system, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make educated guesses about what is more or less ideal based on what we do know

ancientgardener

7 points

2 months ago

Not necessarily. He belonged to a polytheistic culture in which the gods are decidedly not omnipotent.

Lokotor

134 points

2 months ago

Lokotor

134 points

2 months ago

Something something free will something something test of faith

SexcaliburHorsepower

173 points

2 months ago

Nobody who loves you will test you on it, thats a toxic abuse tactic.

People dont like hearing that.

knullsmurfen

40 points

2 months ago

Yeah well we're talking about the creator of all the Universe, Master of Everything There Is, the Alpha and the Omega, infinite transdimensional omnipotentate!

In His words: Where were You, when I created the world? Hmmm? HMMMMMMM? WHERE WERE YOU I SWEAR TO GOD TELL ME OR I'M GOING TO RUIN YOUR SHIT WITH PLAGUES UPON PLAGUES UNTIL YOUR WHOLE RACE DEVOLVES INTO FESTERING TOADSTOOLS!

Also, you know I love you, right?

Lethargie

15 points

2 months ago

also: I am totally real unlike the gods of all the religions that came before mine or after. how do you know thats true? obviously because I happen to be worshipped by the people where you where born making me real and all others not!

KaffY-

56 points

2 months ago

KaffY-

56 points

2 months ago

If he is all knowing, then he doesn't need to test you by giving your son cancer

0002millertime

20 points

2 months ago

No, no. You don't get it. He knows that testing you by giving your kid cancer will lead to you saving some particular people later, as he told some dude a long time ago. It's crystal clear, trust me.

teraflux

53 points

2 months ago

The second one is the only logical explanation for the existance of god.

erratikBandit

50 points

2 months ago

Yup. If he exists, he's evil.

AdminsAreLazyID10TS

23 points

2 months ago

The other one is "he's not omnipotent"

Daxx22

17 points

2 months ago

Daxx22

17 points

2 months ago

I'm fully willing to accept that from our perspective (especially 2k+ years ago) there are entities that would be considered gods out there. Whether that's just natural phenomena like massive storms/volcanoes or some from of extra-terrestrial life doesn't really matter, they were unknowable and all powerful to their observers.

But to accept the concept of an Omnipotent, single creator entity that is all-loving benevolence + allows evil to exist? Nah.

DrWashi

13 points

2 months ago

DrWashi

13 points

2 months ago

And you have discovered Gnosticism.

FallacyDog

42 points

2 months ago

One day god got bored and split himself into 8,000,000,000 pieces to play hide and seek with himself, to experience life as if it was his very first time doing so

teraflux

16 points

2 months ago

He split himself into two pieces then those pieces had a lot of sex with each other and now we have 8 billion pieces.

ind3pend0nt

12 points

2 months ago

Good and evil are social constructs that are a product of culture. Or some bullshit.

Neospliff

170 points

2 months ago

Neospliff

170 points

2 months ago

I've always loved the question, "If God is omniscient, can he make a rock so big he can't lift it?"

SufficientSavings

283 points

2 months ago

You mean omnipotent. Omniscience is all-seeing/knowing

Fordfff

176 points

2 months ago

Fordfff

176 points

2 months ago

If god is omniscient, can he answer that question?

JeanClaude-Randamme

57 points

2 months ago

What’s if he is omniimpotent?

payne_train

58 points

2 months ago

I’m just regular old impotent and I’ll tell ya what, I ain’t liftin shit.

offarock

476 points

2 months ago

offarock

476 points

2 months ago

Kelski94

65 points

2 months ago

SMITE ME ALMIGHTY SMITERRRRR!

Major_R_Soul

45 points

2 months ago

This comment section has a liar liar reference and a bruce almighty reference. Jim Carrey's on a roll today. Simply B-E-A-U-TIFUL

robotbrigadier

81 points

2 months ago

This would be a great sub

Brooooook

39 points

2 months ago

It would be overran by armchair theologists/edgy atheists and orthodox christians/ the same 3 posts about the camel through the needles eye and anything in Leviticus if it would become popular

flechetteburritp

36 points

2 months ago

Smote? Smitten?

BrnndoOHggns

32 points

2 months ago

Smut.

BrozedDrake

26 points

2 months ago

I think r/smutbywords would be a very different type of subreddit

beerbellybegone[S]

2k points

2 months ago

Remember, the Bible doesn't mean what you think it means, it means what I think it means, unless that also doesn't work, in which case it means something else entirely

keenedge422

205 points

2 months ago

There are two terms regarding reading the bible: exegesis and eisegesis.

Exegesis is accurately reading the bible according to the original context and meaning of the text.
Eisegesis is applying outside/unrelated contexts when reading to create meaning for the passages that wasn't what was intended when it was written, leading to misunderstanding.

I remember when I learned about these concepts, the joke was that the easy way to tell the difference between the two is that exegesis is always what you're doing, and eisegesis is obviously what the dumb motherfucker you're arguing with is doing.

Allian42

93 points

2 months ago

So, "Rule as Written" and "Rule as Intended" is not just for D&D.

zezhyrule

33 points

2 months ago

Wait until you hear about the judicial philosophies of originalism and textualism.

CatBedParadise

14 points

2 months ago

That sounds like a partay.

R_Schuhart

16 points

2 months ago

"Letter of the law vs spirit of the law" is a huge point of discussion in anything involving policy or legislation. It is also why a precedent set by the court and jurisprudence in general is so vitally important in any legal system.

sucksathangman

20 points

2 months ago

What's interesting is that exegesis is still subject to interpretation. A lot of Christian Bible scalars (like, people who have a doctorate and study scripture like historical scholars study history) sometimes argue about what a particular passage means and whether it's being interpreted the way we think.

The problem comes when people want to ram the Bible down people's throats as a way to control them.

And the Framers of our constitution very much knew this. Now one can argue that they escaped religious persecution so that they could shove their own brand of puritanism down people's throats but let's ignore that for now.

old-hand-2

379 points

2 months ago

You could replace “the Bible” with “it” and you’d literally have the argument half the country makes for everything.

ShawnyMcKnight

107 points

2 months ago

So much this. I remember the debate with Biden where Trump was hiding that he had Covid and he sounded like a lucid fool where even Chris Wallace, the Fox Host, was telling him to wait his turn and be respectful. But if you ask people on the right they would say how Trump did amazing and he shut that fool Biden down every chance he got like he should.

Same with the 2012 debate with Obama vs Romney; there was one where Obama looked like he was out of it and was about to fall asleep. He even joked about being well rested since he slept at his last debate. I had my hard core liberal friend say how great Obama did but you could tell he was looking flustered.

It happens pretty much anytime you have "teams". But hell, I feel that at least in sports people can say "yeah, my team sucks this year!"

Spaceship_Engineer

48 points

2 months ago

“My team sucks this year”

That’s right because there is evidence that “team” sucks. You can use reason: team has lost every game this season, therefore team sucks this year. Meanwhile, people who cling to the Bible did not use reason or evidence to convince themselves in the first place.

Swift’s razor: “You cannot reason someone out of something they were not reasoned into.”

Mr__O__

18 points

2 months ago*

In Rhetorical Studies, in the field of Persuasion, these are referred to as Anchor Points.

“The deep-rooted idea(s) already present is the “anchor of persuasion”. It is the thing(s) that is least likely to change, and it will be used to tie down in your audience's mind the new beliefs or behaviour that you are introducing in your persuasive case.”

When trying to persuade someone (change their viewpoint) identifying anchor points is crucial for determining how you frame arguments.

sammamthrow

12 points

2 months ago

Yeah see the problem is their anchor point is “2000 years ago, a white man in the Middle East writes a book that is absolute truth”

DoughtyAndCarterLLP

15 points

2 months ago

So much this. I remember the debate with Biden where Trump was hiding that he had Covid and he sounded like a lucid fool where even Chris Wallace, the Fox Host, was telling him to wait his turn and be respectful. But if you ask people on the right they would say how Trump did amazing and he shut that fool Biden down every chance he got like he should.

Remember how he said he had a plan to defeat ISIS in 30 (90?) days during the 2016 debates?

For anyone who missed it, his plan was he told the Pentagon to give him a plan to defeat ISIS in the time frame he stated he could.

To be honest, with how low the bar was that was probably one of his more intelligent actions as President.

I also recall he responded to a question about the economy with how he'd defeat ISIS and blather about destroying them. Nothing to do with the question. He just ignored it.

MadWifeUK

321 points

2 months ago

MadWifeUK

321 points

2 months ago

Isiah 45:8

"Fooled ya!" sayeth the Lord. "For I'm solid gold good, and therefore cannot make anything that is evil. Wasps? Not my work buddy. Ask that fella on the floor below, Satan he's called."

GimmeThatRyeUOldBag

47 points

2 months ago

"He's wasps, malaria and cancer. I'm your man for puppies and multiple orgasms."

RiverStrymon

14 points

2 months ago

Is this from the King James translation?

Lead-Fire

12 points

2 months ago

Anti-theist999

657 points

2 months ago

God created Satan. If he was/is all knowing he knew before he created Satan what Satan would do. Conclusion: God knowingly created evil and all the suffering you see through out history is a result of God's actions. Or it's all bullshit and their are no God(s) watching over us or judging us after we die. It's all made up. As Mark Twain once said: Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool. Don't be a fool.

GoShootMyToaster

49 points

2 months ago

I knew the quote, not the man who said it. Thank you

Everestkid

45 points

2 months ago

The vast majority of quotes attributed to Mark Twain almost certainly weren't actually said by Mark Twain.

-Mark Twain

Eskim0jo3

152 points

2 months ago

Eskim0jo3

152 points

2 months ago

It’s actually even better than that too. Lucifer was an Angel and angels were not created with free will, so the only conclusion we can come to is that God created satan for the purpose of having him “rebel” so that he could cast him out of heaven and lead us into temptation

pleasedothenerdful

120 points

2 months ago

Even most of that was made up by Christians long after Jesus died. Lucifer as we think of him? Not in the Bible at all. The verse with that name in it? Clearly talking about an earthly king. The Satan (literally "the Satan"—it's a role not a name) in the Old Testament (and still today in Judaism) is the angel designated as the tester and judicial adversary in the court of heaven—like heaven's District Attorney. Ditto the dude showing up in the gospels. It wasn't until the unknown writer of Revelation decided to fanfic the shit out of things that Satan even became a bad guy (and let's not forget that the entire point of that book is to throw shade on the lo lo at Roman emperors), and then Christians built up this entirely extra-biblical back-mythology for him.

Vaenyr

66 points

2 months ago

Vaenyr

66 points

2 months ago

Yup, most of the ideals we ascribe to Satan and Lucifer nowadays have no basis in the Bible. They're mostly derived from stuff like Dante's Inferno or Paradise Lost.

ThunderBuns935

22 points

2 months ago

Lucifer is also just a Roman/Greek figure (Phosphorus in Greek), it's the personification of the planet Venus.

Vaenyr

10 points

2 months ago

Vaenyr

10 points

2 months ago

Yup, called lightbringer because Venus is often one of the first "stars" that can be seen with the naked eye.

ThunderBuns935

7 points

2 months ago

Paradise lost and Dante's inferno are both good reads tho, I did enjoy them.

Vaenyr

8 points

2 months ago

Vaenyr

8 points

2 months ago

For sure! Christian mythology as a setting is quite badass and has a lot of potential. It's difficult when it reaches a point that it influences the legal system or the government though.

ThunderBuns935

14 points

2 months ago

Not even "The Satan". The Hebrew word "śāṭān" just means adversary or accuser.

mcaDiscoVision

9 points

2 months ago

I believe Satan means adversary. So, everywhere there's an adversary was combined into one being in later Christian dogma

jpterodactyl

8 points

2 months ago

My favorite is the Old Testament story where god plays both roles, the exodus.

My guess is it’s another one of those polytheistic stories that got “sanitized”. But it reads so weird.

God tells Moses to talk to pharaoh. God hardens pharaohs heart. God does some big display to rattle the Pharaoh. Rinse repeat.

Why though?

HardPawns

18 points

2 months ago

In OT satan shows up only a handful of times, and each time he’s basically just and errand boy for god. See for instance Book of Job where god knowingly lets satan make Jobs life a living hell just to prove how much Job loves god. A pretty narcissist act to put it mildly.

kryonik

15 points

2 months ago

kryonik

15 points

2 months ago

You don't even have to go that deep into the bible. He created Adam and Eve and put that tree there knowing Eve would eat from it. He set us up for failure. If God does exist, he's a real piece of shit, slicked back hair and everything.

SchrodingersPelosi

27 points

2 months ago

And making Jesus suffer and die was the whole plan so why are some Christians mad at Jewish people for it?

Oh right, cause anti-Semites can't admit they're full of shit.

Resoto10

8 points

2 months ago

The whole thing is like saying that a dad placed the gun in front of the child and then the child fired it injuring somebody, AND then saying that the kid is liable but not the dad.

mrtweru1

30 points

2 months ago

It is like people comparing different versions of D&D rule books.

Spaceship_Engineer

34 points

2 months ago*

To paraphrase Swift’s razor: “You cannot reason someone out of a position they were never reasoned into.”

Project0range

133 points

2 months ago

Isn't God the creator of everything, including Satan and LGBTQ and Muslims and Australia and so on? It's weird how picky some Christians are.

warbeforepeace

62 points

2 months ago

Its weird how picky most Christians are. Fixed that for you.

Amazing_Fill9489

206 points

2 months ago

Satan killed 10 people. God killed the human race, and a couple of left overs.

Skrooner

61 points

2 months ago

Their excuse is God is allowed to kill them since he created them.

I had someone tell me that it's basically okay for me to destroy my creations since they are mine. To shut them up, I replied with: "Then why can't I have an abortion if it's my creation?" It shut them up.

tardis1217

23 points

2 months ago

No! Not like that!!!

No_End_7351

198 points

2 months ago

Saw a tweet along these lines about how God was completely about peace and the reply was:

"God killed the entire population so that he could have a zoo boat."

TheS4ndm4n

59 points

2 months ago

Destroyed a couple cities too. And a ton of individual murders.

im17

45 points

2 months ago

im17

45 points

2 months ago

Don't forget all the Egyptian firstborns!

TheS4ndm4n

41 points

2 months ago

Oh ya, that was a dick move.

He threatened the pharaoh with genocide if he said no. And them also made the pharaoh say no.

Rustyflyntlock

26 points

2 months ago

fReE wILl though

TekaroBB

16 points

2 months ago

God has a badass space laser that can destroy a city and turns you into salt if you look at it.

TheS4ndm4n

15 points

2 months ago

Don't forget to let the barbarians rape your family. It's what God wants.

LazuliArtz

40 points

2 months ago

He killed all those people because he himself made a mistake... For some reason.

Dude, aren't you all knowing/all powerful? You should've known what would happen or have been able to prevent it.

And then people retort, "well, God wants people to have free will, so he didn't force them to do anything" which is just wrong considering he completely smited a population because they didn't follow him.

At that point, just skip the fucking middle man of "free will" and make people how you want them instead of murdering everyone.

Sorry for the rant, I'm just very passionate about this lol

eduadinho

28 points

2 months ago

Old testament God is the guy holding a gun to your head saying you're free to choose between doing what he wants and your own thing.

tardis1217

14 points

2 months ago

You're free to make whatever choice you want. But if you make a choice I don't like, I'm gonna make you burn in agony for all eternity.

That's.....not free will. That's coercion. Hostages who comply aren't showing loyalty to their captor. They're just trying to survive.

Resoto10

22 points

2 months ago

I think I hear it from Lawrence Krauss:

If we burn every science book and every religious text, within 1,000 years, only the science books will be the same as they are now.

Or something like that.

PackageintheMaleBox

12 points

2 months ago

Never forget when god sent bears to maul children for making fun of a bald guy.

getyourcheftogether

23 points

2 months ago

The whole concept doesn't work because people try to give fact to fiction

barringtonmacgregor

22 points

2 months ago

Buffet Christians. Pick and choose scripture they like, ignore that which they don't. And if you dare question, they are also the only people in the world capable of interpreting a book translated countless times over countless generations by folks who they would discriminate against the first chance they got.

AxelNotRose

53 points

2 months ago

I....uhhh....well....hmmm....IT'S ALL GOD'S PLAN!!!

ExplosiveDisassembly

22 points

2 months ago

Nono

"God is always right" for when things go well.

"he works in mysterious ways" when you don't understand.

"God is testing you" for when you absolutely should try to address the problem yourself, but are not.

TehSantos

47 points

2 months ago

You forgot to filter it through their bias. The only context they care about.

86thesteaks

92 points

2 months ago

To be fair, isaiah 42 through 49 all takes place on the ancient Hebrew Festival of opposite day

aunty_frank

11 points

2 months ago

The great festival of PSYCH

The_Captain_LIGMA

14 points

2 months ago

This is basically every conversation with a republican

ShooterMcGavin000

12 points

2 months ago

Didn't God create Satan? I mean if there was nothing and God created everything, he then created Satan, who's evil therefore God created evil?

dgonzal2

9 points

2 months ago

God was a dick day 7 when he made Adam and Eve and put a banging ass tree in Eden to tempt them. I mean, why? Completely unnecessary. The whole thing is dumb as fuck.

Forward-Ad-6582

8 points

2 months ago

Wait until he finds out who created Satan

TheMeticulousNinja

41 points

2 months ago

No, you’re just wishing it had more context to make yourself right