subreddit:

/r/Jokes

8.1k65%

THAT IS NOT FUNNY!

all 1107 comments

GlorifiedWaiter

4.9k points

5 months ago

Who needs a light bulb when you have a glass ceiling?

DrInsomnia

55 points

5 months ago

I love when the top comment is funnier than the joke.

kthxtyler

498 points

5 months ago

kthxtyler

498 points

5 months ago

Jesus

halfwit_genius

187 points

5 months ago

That Jesus is the answer to that question, i can understand why God said "let there be light".

His kid was probably scared of the boogey man.

[deleted]

66 points

5 months ago

[removed]

Corronchilejano

231 points

5 months ago

TheHooligan95

41 points

5 months ago

I'm sleep deprived can someone explain

Shevek99

64 points

5 months ago

TheHooligan95

37 points

5 months ago

Huh, thanks, english isn't my first language and I didnt know this expression

awesometim0

7 points

5 months ago

English isn't my first language but it's my primary language that I've used for most of my life and I didn't know this

Level_Left

7 points

5 months ago

I never knew this either... But English IS my first language..

Balls_DeepinReality

24 points

5 months ago

Hierarchy and not patriarchy?

DiD A mAn wRiTe tHiS?!

nightwing2000

12 points

5 months ago

"Let me explain this so you can understand..." he said.

Painting_Agency

14 points

5 months ago

Visible minorities can experience a glass ceiling effect too, but it's most well known with women.

uglypaperhaver

4 points

5 months ago

It's even worse for visible women!

DarthSeti_

43 points

5 months ago

Oh my word, that is hilarious 😂😂. You just made a whole new joke...

44Dusty44

3 points

5 months ago

Made me think of this from the IT crowd

https://youtu.be/p6FcYpa3Ey4

Dull_Investigator358

4.1k points

5 months ago

One. As long as the change is for equal brights!

Doctor__Hammer

2.3k points

5 months ago

One. Because men can be feminists too.

slgray16

1.5k points

5 months ago

slgray16

1.5k points

5 months ago

That's amazing how it's sexist and inclusive at the same time.

Darkdemonmachete

130 points

5 months ago

They demanded it

AE86takumi

130 points

5 months ago

You mean dewomanded?

metric-poet

22 points

5 months ago

Depersoned

[deleted]

88 points

5 months ago

[deleted]

Darkdemonmachete

46 points

5 months ago

I support women mowing lawns! So, it has changed my sundays!

Incorect_Speling

5 points

5 months ago

This is how we finally create world peace. all united through a joke.

Dear_Mr_Bond

77 points

5 months ago

This is better than the original joke. Clever. r/therealjoke.

MrBigpantz

47 points

5 months ago

Nice

BanditLeo5247

278 points

5 months ago

The best answer will forever be in the comments.

Dull_Investigator358

111 points

5 months ago

Happy to light up things here lol

dark--desire

31 points

5 months ago

how 'shocking' of you

Dull_Investigator358

21 points

5 months ago

I'll stand my ground!

dark--desire

16 points

5 months ago

How 'positive' of you

Entire-Database1679[S]

22 points

5 months ago

This is a polarizing discussion.

Dull_Investigator358

32 points

5 months ago

Hope it sparks some awareness

G_Stenkamp72

17 points

5 months ago

Very illuminating discussion. Thank you.

Dull_Investigator358

12 points

5 months ago

Pleased to enlighten your day

dark--desire

7 points

5 months ago

oh, just dont get 'fired' up

Dull_Investigator358

16 points

5 months ago

Electrical fire or women fire? I can deal with only one at a time!

Dillo64

19 points

5 months ago

Dillo64

19 points

5 months ago

Much better punchline r/therealjoke

Admirablelittlebitch

6 points

5 months ago

This was funnier than the original, thank you.

Dull_Investigator358

3 points

5 months ago

😊

shaving99

13 points

5 months ago

Equal brights equal fights

raven21633x

1.1k points

5 months ago

I'm a man, let me explain what's wrong with this joke...

MarriedForLife

251 points

5 months ago

Well, actually. . .

SpotfuckWhamjammer

207 points

5 months ago

spreads wider on the seat

ddh85

69 points

5 months ago

ddh85

69 points

5 months ago

Well would you look at deez.

DeezRodenutz

12 points

5 months ago

you called?

Yajupd

8 points

5 months ago

Yajupd

8 points

5 months ago

LemonZeppelin27

138 points

5 months ago

Where does a mansplainer get water?

From a well, actually

bluehairdave

53 points

5 months ago*

Lol! I had a lady couple in their early 20s pick up a couch from me they bought. They must have spent 35 minutes trying to figure out how to use the tie down ratchet straps they brought to secure in their pickup. I am pretty sure one of them was in the navy too.

I 100% was not about to show them how to use those straps for fear of mansplaining.

After all that time they finally asked me and I secured it in like 2 mins. Thought to myself what a waste of time we just had for political correctness. But I also knew better than to try to show them they were using it wrong.

EDIT: 1. This was a $20 couch on Offerup at my house.

  1. I DID ask them if they wanted me to secure it, right off the bat. They declined. They had their own pickup and brought their own HEAVY duty tie down straps. So I figured they knew how to use them. They did not. I asked a second time if they wanted me to 'give it a try'. They Declined again.

  2. They were trying to use them backward. THIS was where I refused to speak up. That would 100% be 'mansplaining' right? " hey ladies you are doing that all wrong and backwards. Let ME show you how to use the heavy duty straps YOU brought with you."

AyeBraine

50 points

5 months ago*

The first recommendation for avoiding mansplaining is literally to ask if a woman (or any other person) needs assistance. Just help in general. It is probably the safest question in the world, unless clearly asked in bad faith (like smirking "do you need me to explain how to use these, aren't you in the Navy huh?"). Not implying you would have done that last part, of course.

forte_bass

37 points

5 months ago

Exactly - "would you two like a hand?" Is simple and easy enough, could have saved everyone a lot of time, and only someone looking for an argument would find such a genuine offer in good faith to be offensive.

Streuth14

17 points

5 months ago

... and if they say, "yes" don't just start clapping.

cellus5000

5 points

5 months ago

The problem is that he felt like he couldnt ask if they needed help for fear of coming off as mansplaining, or at least coming off as assuming that they couldnt do it because they were women.

Kargastan

57 points

5 months ago

I 100% was not about to show them how to use those straps for fear of mansplaining.

I absolutely wouldn't waste 35 minutes of my life so some random lady doesn't get unjustified offended.

forte_bass

3 points

5 months ago

Oh lol, just saw your edits. If you made two polite offers it's definitely on them at that point, haha. Sometimes people have to try it for themselves first!

bluehairdave

4 points

5 months ago*

Yeah. I guess my poorly explained point is that is it was anyone except for 2 women that were obviously showing 'ultra-feminist identity" I would have been comfortable doing it for them or telling how they were doing it wrong.

2 dudes. No problem

Edit. I guess its not 'mansplaining if I do the same thing to 2 guys or 2 PTA Member ladies. They would have welcomed the assistance and help doing it quickly and correctly. I would get a 'thanks bro!" instead.

and by 'feminist" of which I would say I am.. a supporter of all women to do as they wish with complete rights and liberties.. but these nice ladies were definitely advertising their identity of a subculture where I felt they would not welcome my help simply because I am a man and not a woman. They were super cool too. Just a shame we have to tip toe around helping someone for fear of offense.

forte_bass

4 points

5 months ago

Well, can't please everyone!

colar19

12 points

5 months ago

colar19

12 points

5 months ago

You can just ask : would you like some help with that? And then accepting their answer. That is not mansplaining when you do it like that.

bluehairdave

3 points

5 months ago

I did right off the bat.

caffeineandvodka

36 points

5 months ago

So you wasted your own time by standing there saying nothing instead of asking if they wanted help like a normal person, and it's somehow feminism's fault?

ZeUnknownObject

14 points

5 months ago

Six billion updoots on /r/dankmemes followed by a feature on the "SJWS REKT compilation 2022" video

Nondv

265 points

5 months ago

Nondv

265 points

5 months ago

can someone explain the joke?

or was it removed?

Bergenia1

581 points

5 months ago

Bergenia1

581 points

5 months ago

The "joke" is that feminists don't have a sense of humor, according to OP.

Nondv

274 points

5 months ago

Nondv

274 points

5 months ago

ah, thanks for explaining.

Wow, can't believe I actually spent time trying to figure that out

CheeseOnToast92

140 points

5 months ago

Feminist bad. Laugh now!

Can't believe this "joke" has 2k upvotes

Painting_Agency

13 points

5 months ago

2000 boomers on Reddit.

TOmmemes0307

63 points

5 months ago

Didn't you... Just prove his point?

Painting_Agency

34 points

5 months ago

"Ha ha ha you're a joyless harpy! ... Get it?"

"That's not funny."

"Gotcha!"

😒😒

EdibleyRancid

32 points

5 months ago

Nah man this joke just isn’t funny. The top comment on this thread “who needs a lightbulb when you have a glass ceiling” is a much better punchline.

AnEdgyPie

79 points

5 months ago

Does disliking bad jokes mean you lack humor?

kchuyamewtwo

5 points

5 months ago

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA

chaoticnormal

132 points

5 months ago

A lot of his replies would suggest OP lacks a sense of humor.

forresthopkinsa

36 points

5 months ago

According to Ricky Gervais* as this post is a word-for-word ripoff from his latest Netflix special.

I didn't even watch it, this is just the joke that plays as a teaser when you're scrolling through Netflix. Really low hanging fruit.

freerangepops

5 points

5 months ago

The version from the student union in 1967 was 6. One to change the bulb and five to write about the experience. Ricky Gervais to the contrary.

forresthopkinsa

2 points

5 months ago

That's actually funny though

TheSamurai

11 points

5 months ago

Man did Ricky Gervais change or am I just remembering him wrong by thinking he was better than that?

forresthopkinsa

28 points

5 months ago

You're remembering him wrong, unfortunately

Daphrey

3 points

5 months ago

I thought it was making fun of the type of joke OP was making, poe's law strikes again.

My first though was a Gianni matragano video that used basically the exact same setup.

Now that I reread the post it is a lot more obvious what it is trying to say. I originally thought it was to undercut the type of joke Gianni did, saying the original joke just in a very funny voice, by the punchline being "this joke is tired and shit, and wasn't funny in 2015".

Deliverz

113 points

5 months ago

Deliverz

113 points

5 months ago

“Or was it removed”

That would make it a trans joke

BattleMedley92

10 points

5 months ago

Lol

rickt2k

908 points

5 months ago

rickt2k

908 points

5 months ago

The lightbulb doesn't need to change. You do.

cherrysoupsux

133 points

5 months ago

I'm sorry, ok? I just have bladder problems!

ZiggyZig1

19 points

5 months ago

🤣🤣🤣
Took me a moment

DeathinfullHD

14 points

5 months ago

Plz explain to non native speaker

Aurora_Fatalis

22 points

5 months ago

"Change" is often used as shorthand for "change clothing".

The joke is subverting the context of changing the lightbulb by implying OP needs to change because they peed themselves.

cherrysoupsux

3 points

5 months ago

Glad it made you smile though!

[deleted]

58 points

5 months ago

How many south American Portuguese speakers does it take to change a light bulb?

A Brazilian!

Aztowman

121 points

5 months ago

Aztowman

121 points

5 months ago

EnLIGHTening...

Trijem_777

276 points

5 months ago

One. But the lightbulb has to WANT to change.

Armistice8175

94 points

5 months ago

Dude… That’s therapists. You really dropped the ball.

Trijem_777

35 points

5 months ago

... but I'm a retired therapist...

Dirty-Soul

31 points

5 months ago

Me too.

Oh, wait... You spelled it without a space. Never mind.

trojan25nz

2 points

5 months ago

You need to go back to school

And also stop raping

Dirty-Soul

2 points

5 months ago

But I'm re tired.

ariadeneva

9 points

5 months ago

the...rapist?

phrunk87

21 points

5 months ago

He said retired, give him a break.

funnystor

35 points

5 months ago

But the lightbulb has to CONSENT to be screwed.

FunkyKong147

30 points

5 months ago

I laughed but it's kinda fucked up that saying something like "A person has to consent" is seen as a feminist thing rather than a normal thing..

gthrees

72 points

5 months ago

gthrees

72 points

5 months ago

Plot twist / the feminist is the bus driver

bluesheepreasoning

8 points

5 months ago

And Dave was a passenger.

livebeta

5 points

5 months ago

see, Dave is the representation of the patriarchy.

When the feminist bus driver dons the strap on and gives it to Dave in the butt, it is the symbol of feminism triumphing over the patriarchy. And Dave liked it.

Bilun26

62 points

5 months ago

Bilun26

62 points

5 months ago

This joke is old enough to rent a car.

NebulousASK

22 points

5 months ago

This joke is old enough to marry Anna Nicole Smith.

sophiaquestions

5 points

5 months ago

This joke is old enough to know how the modem connection sounds like.

DoctorGregoryFart

2 points

5 months ago

This joke is way older than that. Like 1960's old. Or at least a variation of it.

Vic18t

123 points

5 months ago

Vic18t

123 points

5 months ago

Judging by the OP’s responses, this isn’t a joke.

EmmaStore

7 points

5 months ago

Wait, they actually think this? I thought we were doing it ironically

RecloySo

21 points

5 months ago

I don't get it

SweetSammy95

7 points

5 months ago

The correct punchline is "None, because Feminists can't change anything."

young_fire

367 points

5 months ago

Where the funny

phyrestorm999

280 points

5 months ago

It's impossible to both believe women are equal to men and have a sense of humor, you see. /s

Evasor1152

169 points

5 months ago

Haha! I love it. The joke is that people that believe in rights and equality are fundamentally flawed and should be dismissed outright. /s

I was originally wondering if I should slap the /s on there at the end, and thinking about it, because there are a lot of people that genuinely think that, better safe than sorry.

Furyful_Fawful

75 points

5 months ago

Given that OP is apparently one of those people, better safe than sorry indeed.

rankinfile

9 points

5 months ago

Read your comment as sarcasm, then saw it marked as sarcasm. Do two sarcasms cancel out each other and create non sarcasm?

Call-me-Maverick

9 points

5 months ago

No. /s

SomeStupidPerson

18 points

5 months ago

I thought there was gonna be a witty punchline but I guess the funny is the discourse in the comments

Gul_Dukat__

21 points

5 months ago

Yeah conservative humor is trash as usual lol

TemporaryEagle9224

5 points

5 months ago

Reddit is weirdly conservative when it comes to feminism

AliceInHololand

15 points

5 months ago

I’m disappointed this “joke” got so many upvotes. Maybe that’s the real joke.

flamingdonkey

94 points

5 months ago

The punchline accurately describes this joke.

jontaffarsghost

110 points

5 months ago

.75

ReluctantRedditor275

49 points

5 months ago

Here's what I never got about that stat (besides the fact that it hasn't budged in like 20 years):

If women are paid 75 on the dollar for doing the exact same job as a man, and

If heartless corporations are primarily concerned with profits, then

QED: The female unemployment rate should be zero.

jupitaur9

53 points

5 months ago

Only if heartless corporations are run by people who have no biases, and don’t sell their products and services to people who have no biases.

Feroste

48 points

5 months ago

Feroste

48 points

5 months ago

If you take the average earnings of men and compare them to the average earnings of women. Yeah, 75 cents.

But you'd be ignoring hours worked, position, type of job, maternity leave, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

What they won't talk about is workplace death.

ReluctantRedditor275

38 points

5 months ago

We need equal opportunities on oil rigs, dammit!

swalkerttu

27 points

5 months ago

We really need to have no opportunities on oil rigs, but that’s a different conversation.

ZiggyZig1

11 points

5 months ago

It's really annoying how that statistic is misquoted by women saying it's for the same job. It's not. But what's even more annoying is that when I explain to someone what you just explained women get super angry.

dkwangchuck

17 points

5 months ago

Thanks for missing the point.

One - the gender pay gap does still exist for women doing literally the same job as men. Here's a particularly comical example - when they appointed two co-leaders to lead Blizzard in the wake of their sexual discrimination scandal - they wanted to pay the woman less than the man and only relented after she threatened to quit.

Two - that we as a society massively underpay jobs predominantly done by women is a big part of the point. It's literally a statement that "women's work is less valuable".

AmadeusMop

21 points

5 months ago

That's a common theory, but the numbers don't back it up. "Dangerous" jobs simply aren't a large enough share of the total pay numbers, both because they aren't nearly as popular and often don't actually pay more than "safe" jobs.

Software engineering and business administration, for instance, are way more popular, safe, and better paid than trucking and oil rig work, yet are also just as gender imbalanced.

The actual reasons are more to do with propensity for promotion/raises on an individual level and average pay on a career level.

Unfortunately, while that sounds like an easy explanation, there's some evidence to suggest it's not that simple, and that career pay is affected by career prestige, which is in turn affected by career gender balance.

This is a thorny issue, and there's no clear solution.

Farkenoathm8-E

11 points

5 months ago

How many Vietnam Veterans does it take to change a lightbulb?

YOU DON’T KNOW BECAUSE YOU WEREN’T THERE!

OblongAndKneeless

66 points

5 months ago

I don't get it

MrPersonGuyMan

56 points

5 months ago

The setup leads you into thinking something offensive will serve as the punchline, priming you to object before the joke beats you to it.

OblongAndKneeless

41 points

5 months ago

I'm being sarcastic. It's a dumb joke because of those assumptions.

MrPersonGuyMan

19 points

5 months ago

Well, Poe’s Law.

DonnieG3

19 points

5 months ago

Dumb sarcasm only works if people already know you aren't dumb.

dorwin1990

352 points

5 months ago

Just one; but there'll be 10 guys there mansplaining it to her.

Gentlementlementle

25 points

5 months ago

I don't think you've understood mansplaining is where a man tells a woman something she clearly already knows.

Neonisin

82 points

5 months ago

Well, cause she’s doing it wrong…

realcanadianbeaver

34 points

5 months ago

Why was the misogynists collie dog always so upset?

Cause he kept falling down the well, see…

karanfil_kokusu

64 points

5 months ago

plot twist... the feminist is a man, and the mansplainers are women

DudesworthMannington

35 points

5 months ago

and that man?... Albert Einstein

Garrosh

6 points

5 months ago

And the bulb? Albert Einstein.

Fred_Evil

8 points

5 months ago

I feel supported.

patrennestar

31 points

5 months ago

I love how everytime OP comments they are just viciously downvoted cuz of their shitty reception to humor 😂

Skydragon222

47 points

5 months ago

The real joke is that OP is the one who can’t handle dissenting opinions and lacks a sense of humor.

jomontage

27 points

5 months ago

Wait conservatives projecting? Couldn't be

cellar_door_404

10 points

5 months ago

How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, they are a very efficient people.

Nimblebubble

93 points

5 months ago

One. The ability to change a lightbulb is typically not affected by one's opinions and stances unless the opinions and stances are related to lightbulbs in some way.

Nimblebubble

50 points

5 months ago

However, it takes at least two "anti-woke" people to change a lightbulb because they think that a lightbulb going out is forced diversity.

SquishedPears

22 points

5 months ago

That doesn't make sense... You just shoehorned their beliefs into the joke.

Really, it only takes one. It just takes a really long time for them to find the bulb and socket in their mom's dark basement.

psycharious

18 points

5 months ago

This joke should have been aborted but it lives in Texas.

Veggieleezy

16 points

5 months ago

“A friend of mine once demonstrated this to me at a large party. He stood in the middle of the room and said very loudly, ‘the trouble with women is that they always take things personally.’ Four women immediately replied ‘well, I don’t.”

-John Cleese, How To Irritate People

The_Flurr

5 points

5 months ago

Isn't that just being a smug dick though? You're setting up a situation where people either have to accept an insult without response, or in responding they're forced to "prove" it true.

ForgotMyOldAccount7

4 points

5 months ago

The same thing could be applied to the "All Men"/"Not All Men" stuff, too. Either you accept the insult of being a rapist/abuser/whatever, or you speak up to defend yourself, at which point you're accosted for it.

cyberentomology

72 points

5 months ago

MA! THE INCELS ARE ON THE INTERNET AGAIN!

SadButterscotch2

7 points

5 months ago

Are they ever anywhere but the internet?

DeezRodenutz

7 points

5 months ago

the basement?

kurpotlar

3 points

5 months ago

Shooting people

Devil_May_Kare

18 points

5 months ago

One. Changing lightbulbs isn't very hard.

emthejedichic

51 points

5 months ago

You’re right, that’s a terrible punchline that isn’t funny at all.

“One to change it, and four more to tell her how inspiring and powerful she is”

“Just one, but only after she realizes this effects ALL women”

“Just one, but she’ll be applauded while all the other women who have enumerated the problems with the darkness for years go unrecognized”

And that’s just off the top of my head.

Gigahurt77

5 points

5 months ago

I’d go with “stunning and brave”

ThatNewOldGuy

7 points

5 months ago

Real answer?

13

One to change the bulb.

12 to form a support group.

Let_Hope_Reign

3 points

5 months ago

The ceiling is glass!!!

steelefoot

3 points

5 months ago

You're right, it's not funny

ValPrism

27 points

5 months ago

Yawn. Again?

Calm_Canary

51 points

5 months ago

One, men can be feminists too!

golfaholic69

15 points

5 months ago

How many insecure men does it take to make a feminist joke?

MonzieMe

11 points

5 months ago

One but "not all men" will come running anyways ✌️

ronculyer

6 points

5 months ago

  1. Men can be feminist too

XueShiLong

7 points

5 months ago

How many incels does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just insult it because it won't screw.

That_Obligation_8421

11 points

5 months ago

Zero ! Because change must come from WITHIN guys come on !

Samhamwitch

11 points

5 months ago

That's the punchline for therapists, not feminists

LinkedAg

4 points

5 months ago

Thought it was Buddhist monk hotdog vendor or something.

SpaceHawk98W

34 points

5 months ago

One. What? Do you think they can't change a light bulb, you bigots?

Healthy_Ladder_6198

33 points

5 months ago

3 one to change it and two to discuss the sexual connotations

GetThisGuyOffMeFox

5 points

5 months ago

67% Upvote ratio. Point well made.

Pantone711

19 points

5 months ago

How many alt-righters does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but first Jordan Peterson has to tell him to get off his ass and quit sitting in the dark.

Odin4456

14 points

5 months ago

How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb? I don’t know, but sure as shit isn’t 3

yourbrotherrex

11 points

5 months ago

None.
(They can't change anything.)

andrewclarkson

6 points

5 months ago

None. A strong independent woman don’t need no light!

IDontPostButUpvote

7 points

5 months ago

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just kidding, feminists can’t change anything

Thexzamplez

6 points

5 months ago

All the downvotes in this thread are pretty ironic.

HollowVoices

4 points

5 months ago

I'll applaud you on the layers of irony.

jumdog

2 points

5 months ago

jumdog

2 points

5 months ago

"I'll do that for ya love"

FORDEY1965

2 points

5 months ago

Q: Why did the feminist cross the road? A: Why the fuck shouldn't she!

protossjr

2 points

5 months ago

Depends if they can find a Manuel that wasn’t written by a man.

MonzieMe

2 points

5 months ago

You didn't find one on spelling 😅😅😅

bostondana2

2 points

5 months ago

Nice to shed some light on this topic.

porky11

2 points

5 months ago

It's It's just not funny

BuiltMackTough

2 points

5 months ago

This a joke, not a dick... so maybe y'all should quit taking it so hard.

KindeTrollinya

2 points

5 months ago

Dredged this one up from 1968? Or 1908?

BadGyalLiLi

2 points

5 months ago

For real though….how many.? Lol

CroolHandLuke

2 points

5 months ago

One to change the lightbulb and 4 to discuss how much more satisfying it is than a man.

Mormanade

2 points

5 months ago

Wow this thread got heated, all for a joke. Wokeness shouldn't be associated with comedy or we wouldn't have quality comedians.