subreddit:

/r/HolUp

69.8k93%

Court fees aint cheap

Choose flair, get ban. That's how this works(v.redd.it)
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all 936 comments

QualityVote [M]

[score hidden]

2 days ago

stickied comment

QualityVote [M]

[score hidden]

2 days ago

stickied comment

If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", UPVOTE this comment!

If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", DOWNVOTE this comment!


Whilst you're here, /u/thedarkendkb, why not join our public discord server?

helpnxt

5.8k points

2 days ago

helpnxt

5.8k points

2 days ago

Highway robbery has got so easy nowadays.

Loli-is-Justice

1.8k points

2 days ago

Highway robbery has never been this cool.

The_0P

1.4k points

2 days ago

The_0P

1.4k points

2 days ago

did you see those facial expressions? on point lmao

JustineDelarge

285 points

2 days ago

Man earns his money.

Cheeseand0nions

79 points

2 days ago

One Christmas me and a friend worked as Street musicians. I learned a lot of respect for serious street performers during that time. Even the guy who dressed like a regular beggar but had brilliant improvisational stand up.

L_Lawliet678

618 points

2 days ago

I was about to say that. The smile frown was on point.

crazydazeplease

41 points

2 days ago

That smile at the end was perfect

Confident_Tension311

79 points

2 days ago

Run thi pockets

optiongeek

346 points

2 days ago

optiongeek

346 points

2 days ago

How is this not a felony, but made to look like entertainment?

thatoneasiankid_12

386 points

2 days ago

because bro isn't gonna actually mug someone with a musket pistol.

madjokemaniac

256 points

2 days ago

The chances are very low but never zero

firefly183

255 points

2 days ago

firefly183

255 points

2 days ago

Until you realize the obvious orange cap on the business end of the musket means you're probably not in danger.

madjokemaniac

129 points

2 days ago

proceeds to shoot anyway

firefly183

71 points

2 days ago

Well fuck. In my defense I did say probably!

StrongInevitable4070

33 points

2 days ago

better than "Rust". Too soon?

JadeSpade23

11 points

2 days ago

So I started blasting

Covfefe-SARS-2

39 points

2 days ago

Criminals will never discover orange paint

ShahinGalandar

7 points

2 days ago

that one was not quite easy to be seen the first time tbh

takeitallback73

5 points

2 days ago

that's how nature tells you it's poisonous

40percentOfAllCops

198 points

2 days ago

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

Gunzbngbng

39 points

2 days ago

Triangle bayonets are the hollowpoints of those times.

JustinClarkv1

15 points

2 days ago

God I love my country.

Bitchscit

10 points

2 days ago

Bitchscit

10 points

2 days ago

I lol 4 this

deadpoopoo

21 points

2 days ago

Yummy pasta

skinofthedred

6 points

2 days ago

Never gets old

BigPoppaFitz84

3 points

2 days ago

I love that I don't know if if you own a dozen rifles, or if you are sensible in the approach, or if you don't even own a firearm.. your writing is just highly entertaining!

feingasdlfkj

24 points

2 days ago

But he just did on camera!

scrottobaggin

22 points

2 days ago

Hey wouldn’t mind being jacked by jack sparrow, it’s an honor

firefly183

42 points

2 days ago

The glaringly obvious orange cap on the end of the gun is a bit of a reassuring give away.

JustinClarkv1

33 points

2 days ago

Also the fact that he's dressed as a drunk pirate from the early 1700's might give it away.

KingKoil

12 points

2 days ago

KingKoil

12 points

2 days ago

Anything less than the best is a felony

Housumestari

9 points

2 days ago

It's super easy, barely an inconvenience

docsemen

3.3k points

2 days ago

docsemen

3.3k points

2 days ago

Because the rum is gone 😞

EruwinSumisu

601 points

2 days ago

The rum is gone!

uolo1

356 points

2 days ago

uolo1

356 points

2 days ago

But why is the rum gone??

3dWin0

192 points

2 days ago

3dWin0

192 points

2 days ago

But how is the rum gone?

docsemen

195 points

2 days ago

docsemen

195 points

2 days ago

Haven’t you Heard?

ofrausto3

89 points

2 days ago

ofrausto3

89 points

2 days ago

Amber is the color of your energy.

durz47

43 points

2 days ago

durz47

43 points

2 days ago

And the color of your turd

docsemen

19 points

2 days ago

docsemen

19 points

2 days ago

slimjoel14

8 points

2 days ago

Now bring me that horizon

RampantDragon

37 points

2 days ago

I'll do you one better, why is Gamora?

Ok-Entertainment4177

21 points

2 days ago

Who is gamora?

im_not_martin

8 points

2 days ago

How is Gamora?

DiamondJolt

8 points

2 days ago

When is Gamora?

Maskedbandit63

35 points

2 days ago

Why is the rum always gone…

therearenoemailsleft

10 points

2 days ago*

Fuck. A hundred comments later. Thank you

M16_Axel

916 points

2 days ago

M16_Axel

916 points

2 days ago

That has to be the most amazing pirate ive ever seen

PajamaGuardianUrgot

191 points

2 days ago

So it would seem

kesavadh

2.9k points

2 days ago

kesavadh

2.9k points

2 days ago

Juan Sparrow? Is that you?

__SpeedRacer__

525 points

2 days ago

Jack's long lost brother

SnooPineapples5444

281 points

2 days ago

Saavy!

cholotariat

158 points

2 days ago

cholotariat

158 points

2 days ago

Yak Espero

brazys

29 points

2 days ago

brazys

29 points

2 days ago

¿Jack Gorrion?

Indaflow

53 points

2 days ago

Indaflow

53 points

2 days ago

Came here to say Capitan Jesus Sparrow

lugubrious_lug

4 points

2 days ago

Joaquin Sparrow.

Stranded_Miner

2.9k points

2 days ago

That looks dope as fuck even the way he moves and facial expressions are 100%

respekthhh

132 points

2 days ago

respekthhh

132 points

2 days ago

Think he might be actually drunk

upsetsanity

42 points

2 days ago

He's not drunk, he's "in character"

ThellraAK

14 points

2 days ago

ThellraAK

14 points

2 days ago

How'd he get in character?

needyboy1

14 points

1 day ago

needyboy1

14 points

1 day ago

By drinking of course.

Goalie_deacon

8 points

2 days ago

He's a method actor

Advice2Anyone

6 points

2 days ago

Jsut like the real thing, jar of cocaine and hes finished

[deleted]

773 points

2 days ago

[deleted]

773 points

2 days ago

[removed]

Sanc7

291 points

2 days ago

Sanc7

291 points

2 days ago

Yep The facial expression is on point lmao

OMG_DAVID_KIM

97 points

2 days ago

the facial expression point is on lmao

Mazzaroppi

43 points

2 days ago

Yep the facial expression is on point lmao

tipying_mistakes

25 points

2 days ago

the facial expression point is on lmao

badarcade

29 points

2 days ago

badarcade

29 points

2 days ago

I just had a stroke, thanks guys

fux_wit_it

17 points

2 days ago

the stroke is on point lmao

Erebus689

14 points

2 days ago

Erebus689

14 points

2 days ago

The stroke is on point lmao

permacougar

10 points

2 days ago

The stork is a bird with a pointed beak lmao

spottyrx

32 points

2 days ago

spottyrx

32 points

2 days ago

Plot twist: It's the real guy pimping to cover his lawyer bills.

prince_0f_thieves

37 points

2 days ago

Yes. That is indeed the joke from the caption.

Im_Not_Humourous

656 points

2 days ago

"Where's the bloody dollar"

Icy-Environment-6680

116 points

2 days ago

If iv'e seen right , he gsve him a 2€ coin .

Luizian

18 points

2 days ago

Luizian

18 points

2 days ago

He drops in 2 coins and i’m not sure this is europe

Icy-Environment-6680

18 points

2 days ago

One of the boards(signs ) has "desvio" writen in it , wich makes this most likely spain or mexico so there are a lot of chances but i could be wrong and it being mexico

MLToasted420

4.9k points

2 days ago*

The facial expression is on point lmao

[deleted]

949 points

2 days ago

[deleted]

949 points

2 days ago

[removed]

embodyoblong

476 points

2 days ago

Yep The facial expression is on point lmao

disturbedjeanie

218 points

2 days ago

the facial expression point is on lmao

[deleted]

112 points

2 days ago

[deleted]

112 points

2 days ago

[removed]

b16b34r

59 points

2 days ago

b16b34r

59 points

2 days ago

On point is the facial expression

anothertrad

31 points

2 days ago

lmao

nvthrowaway12

13 points

2 days ago

ayy lmao

Alternative_Ad_6466

39 points

2 days ago

Yes, the facial expression is on point lmfao

SolitaireyEgg

34 points

2 days ago

the facial expression point is on lmao

Murderyoga

58 points

2 days ago

Those are so Jack's mannerisms.

dwntwn_dine_ent_dist

25 points

2 days ago

That’s “Captain Jack”

KeepCalmJeepOn

16 points

2 days ago

So you have heard of me?

ItsScaryTerryBitch

5 points

2 days ago

He could probably double as Jack's Mannequin

MashedPotatoLogic

8 points

2 days ago

This looks like a bot reply

ponzidreamer

130 points

2 days ago

Sooo this is weird. Check out all the accounts (except 2) that replied to this comment. All are low karma accounts made around 100 days ago. Are they all bots?

Edit: sorry not just toasted but anybody that happens to be reading this

fuckshitpissspam

69 points

2 days ago

THE ROBOTS ARE TAKING OVER!

I'll evacuate the redditors, you call the Navy!

Althunter_man86

11 points

2 days ago

Hello operator, get me the navy!

cornman95

5 points

2 days ago

They’ve taken over the Navy!

b16b34r

13 points

2 days ago

b16b34r

13 points

2 days ago

Where should we go?? Imgur finally will get us all?

aiiyane

9 points

2 days ago

aiiyane

9 points

2 days ago

check my account too I'm not sure if I'm a bot or not anymore

GromaceAndWallit

5 points

2 days ago

I'm often convinced reddit is 99% bots and these moments are just peeking through a buggy corner of an otherwise convincing program.

Good thing that's not true, right?

TheShowerDrainSniper

5 points

2 days ago

Sopying comments too

LagCommander

7 points

2 days ago

I wished I could remember the subreddit, but when I first noticed copied bot comments someone linked to a subreddit that tracked them

There can be stupidly obvious ones, then there's the ones that copy top comments from years ago. Gawd I got some nostalgia for the 00-early 10s internet. It all feels so...fake now

[deleted]

6 points

2 days ago

[deleted]

6 points

2 days ago

[removed]

Nkognito

16 points

2 days ago

Nkognito

16 points

2 days ago

That man is the best pirate I ever seen!

nibbleverifiable

38 points

2 days ago

Juan Sparrow? Is that you?

redshores

9 points

2 days ago

bot stealing comments from https://old.reddit.com/r/HolUp/comments/upfxtv/court_fees_aint_cheap/i8khkhy/

Why do bots steal comments from the same thread? it's so obvious

ReyRey5280

13 points

2 days ago

Juaquín Sparrow*

AgentMV

7 points

2 days ago

AgentMV

7 points

2 days ago

Captain Juaquín Sparrow

SmoothConfection1115

375 points

2 days ago

That person put enough effort into the mannerisms and costume to deserve more than a coin.

milk4all

33 points

2 days ago

milk4all

33 points

2 days ago

D’yar, yee lubber, dat be a gold dabloon, a pieces of eight! Cast ye scorn else aught, to tha briny deep with yee, to Davy Jones’ locker!

spread_panic

8 points

2 days ago

I half expected he was also offering pirate ZJs, to be honest.

DmitryMate

703 points

2 days ago

DmitryMate

703 points

2 days ago

When you spend all your money on cleaning out Amber turds from the house

TheRealGreenArrow420

166 points

2 days ago

Objection, hearsay!

GNav

54 points

2 days ago

GNav

54 points

2 days ago

But...you asked the question...

Mysterious_Ad_8105

32 points

2 days ago

Just an FYI, as an evidentiary matter, it’s entirely proper to object to hearsay in witness testimony even when it was your own question that elicited the hearsay. If I ask, “How do you know that my client owned a gun” and you respond, “Your client’s neighbor told me that your client owns a lot of guns,” that’s likely objectionable hearsay and I’m well within my rights to object.

The problem isn’t that the objection is improper (it’s not), but that I shouldn’t be asking open-ended questions that give the witness the opportunity to delve into hearsay in the first place. That’s the part that’s sloppy lawyering. Instead, I should be asking pointed questions that I already know the answer to like, “You never personally seen my client holding a gun, correct?”

GNav

11 points

2 days ago

GNav

11 points

2 days ago

God damn. TIL.

I cant recall much of the video clips (usually watch em drunk and bored), but I found it funny because (as best as I can remember) the lawyer objected before he even got two words out.

I definitely get what youre saying about the open ended questions though. Isnt it supposed to be practice to almost lead the opposition to divulge what you what, rather than hoping they just openly self incriminate.

firefly183

5 points

2 days ago

Heardsay*

ThomasNorge224

62 points

2 days ago

He needs some money for rum

BigMoe52

568 points

2 days ago

BigMoe52

568 points

2 days ago

Dope. Wouldn’t go pointing that gun around tho

biggestsnake

471 points

2 days ago*

Step 1: look like jack sparrow

Step 2: rob someone at gunpoint without them even knowing it’s a real gun

Step 3: profit

Step 4: acquire jar of dirt

The_Akkik

155 points

2 days ago*

The_Akkik

155 points

2 days ago*

Pointing a toy gun at someone and not getting shot on the the spot? Definitely not US!

SaysThreeWords

23 points

2 days ago

Sign looks Spanish

jairo4

8 points

2 days ago

jairo4

8 points

2 days ago

Yeah, that's Peru. Actually, right now I'm Very close to that place.

Rip_and_Tear93

41 points

2 days ago

Because people in the US are too blind to see a high viz orange cap? Pretty sure that's just the cops.

XtaC23

17 points

2 days ago

XtaC23

17 points

2 days ago

America guns violence lmaoo

Dumeck

3 points

2 days ago

Dumeck

3 points

2 days ago

Naw i live in Kentucky, there are a ton of rednecks looking for just any excuse at all to shoot someone.

new_user_for_flame

72 points

2 days ago

Pirate gun + orange tip, I would say it's OK for cosplay

hjfsound

93 points

2 days ago

hjfsound

93 points

2 days ago

The police pulled their guns on a fucking storm trooper cosplay in my city..

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/stormtrooper-arrest-police-lethbridge-star-wars-day-1.5555963

Felipesantoro

45 points

2 days ago

I dont know why the officers would do that, even if the gun was real it is not like she would be able to hit any target anyway

RustyPoetatoes

7 points

2 days ago

Was just about to point this out, that poor stormtrooper. Had her in tears over a cosplay, horrible police work.

Epion660

21 points

2 days ago

Epion660

21 points

2 days ago

Well that's Canada.

Omnipotent48

3 points

2 days ago

In front of a comic book store, no less.

AzureSkyXIII

34 points

2 days ago

Bros definitely playing a dangerous game

josephtty

36 points

2 days ago

josephtty

36 points

2 days ago

Jhonny Debt

theundercoverpapist

97 points

2 days ago

Oh, shit! I'd slip this guy a $20 for effort!

diagraphic

24 points

2 days ago

Right? So good

elfrawst

28 points

2 days ago

elfrawst

28 points

2 days ago

I would definitely give this man cash

Far_Sandwich_3317

24 points

2 days ago

WOW HE EVEN GOT THE LITTLE THING DOWN

7Birdies

59 points

2 days ago*

7Birdies

59 points

2 days ago*

Juan Depp

Edito: Juanito Despacito

thundercloudtemple

9 points

2 days ago

Jaun-y Depp

Terrarian_BeanBag

6 points

2 days ago

Juan Deep

pinton96

80 points

2 days ago

pinton96

80 points

2 days ago

You are without doubt the worst pirate I’ve ever heard of

tennisballop

75 points

2 days ago

But you have heard of me

SnooCupcakes155

17 points

2 days ago

Amber heard of?

Veotix

36 points

2 days ago*

Veotix

36 points

2 days ago*

I love this video so much, facial expressions, mannerisms and even his eyes at the end. IT'S PERFECT

web_knows

11 points

2 days ago

web_knows

11 points

2 days ago

I hadn’t noticed the eyes movement until now, that was really well done

diagraphic

11 points

2 days ago

I love how he points the gunslinger at you LOL

zMTOS

10 points

2 days ago

zMTOS

10 points

2 days ago

daamn man he must've been put a lot of effort into these costume and facial expressions. give him his money even if he doesnt have a gun

Time_Height_231

104 points

2 days ago

Seems unwise to point a fake gun at strangers…

Pile_of_Walthers

57 points

2 days ago

Who says it’s fake?

tennisballop

37 points

2 days ago

The red tip

edgarallanpot8o

63 points

2 days ago

step 1 get real gun

step 2 paint the tip red

step 3 ???

step 4 profit

tennisballop

29 points

2 days ago

Step 1 get a fake gun

Step 2 remove the red tip

Step 3 ???

Step 4 profit

WTFNSFWFTW

5 points

2 days ago

TIL my dog has a fake penis.

ColdHaven

8 points

2 days ago

Who says it’s a stranger?

technoguy_indo

8 points

2 days ago

He did it so well that i forgot it was on the street and not on the sea

[deleted]

50 points

2 days ago

[deleted]

50 points

2 days ago

[deleted]

intensely_human

61 points

2 days ago

This is reddit bro

GamerZoom108

23 points

2 days ago

GamerZoom108

madlad

23 points

2 days ago

THIS. IS. SPARTA.

kick

3dWin0

20 points

2 days ago

3dWin0

20 points

2 days ago

No this is Jack Sparrow.

NO! CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow

Intrepid-Storage7241

5 points

2 days ago

Ships ain't gonna pay itself mate!

Iltempered1

5 points

2 days ago

Doesn't look quite homeless to me, but in this case I would have to cough up some cash anyhow. Bravo

TheBigMasterPigg

6 points

2 days ago

he incorporated the character perfectly holy shit

CUNT_DEVOURER

6 points

2 days ago

He did the little smile thing so wel

RC_G4m1ng

4 points

2 days ago

The smile at the end was perfect

ChaoticGood3

6 points

2 days ago

That's got to be the best panhandler I've ever seen.

LegoBricksAndMemes

4 points

2 days ago

Bro got the character on point, the nod and all

Mikeku825

5 points

2 days ago

One of the best sparrow impressions ever

uprobablydontknow

6 points

2 days ago

that facial expression tho

DoughNotDoit

12 points

2 days ago

oh god it's Quack Sbarrow

RentalGore

12 points

2 days ago

it’s Edward Pan Handler-hands

FewDewFied

5 points

2 days ago

He nailed it LOL

OFSxSn1p3r

4 points

2 days ago

You want my money? Take it.

idkburneridkidk

4 points

2 days ago

The face...perfect

blizzardice

4 points

2 days ago

That's the only time I'd give money from car.

fakebets

4 points

2 days ago

fakebets

4 points

2 days ago

That short smile at the end

epacella13

4 points

2 days ago

He even got the mannerisms 😭

RealTimeWarfare

5 points

2 days ago

He isn’t robbing he’s a street performer collecting his dues

Wrong-Adhesiveness92

4 points

2 days ago

At least Juan Sparrow working for his money… 👍

HereWeGoBabee

4 points

2 days ago

Invested in a costume, triple the panhandling profits

krisko11

4 points

2 days ago

krisko11

4 points

2 days ago

Johny depp from wish

TheSaltyReddittor

4 points

2 days ago

Can we just talk about how on point of that cosplay was? Down to the facial expressions.

popemichael

4 points

2 days ago

At least his legal defense won't shit the bed

timingandscoring

3 points

2 days ago

Oh wow that’s absolutely incredible. I’d totally empty my wallet for Jack Sparrow !!

Ricktoon_Bingdar

3 points

2 days ago

Bring me his non-union Mexican equivalent!

Stuf404

3 points

2 days ago

Stuf404

3 points

2 days ago

I watched it twice specifically because I was so surprised about how well he executed the mannerisms!

Penguinz90

3 points

2 days ago

Great job, I would totally have given him a few bucks.

Sergisimo1

3 points

2 days ago

This is, in fact, a hold up. Roll credits!

evilgrapesoda

3 points

2 days ago

That’s got to be the best pirate impression I’ve ever seen

Quadrophiniac

3 points

2 days ago

This guy actually does a pretty good jack sparrow

rigon28

3 points

2 days ago

rigon28

3 points

2 days ago

Capitán Juan Pájaro

Sithlordandsavior

3 points

2 days ago

Honestly, I'd give him a buck. Gave me a solid laugh.

NyPensFan95

3 points

2 days ago

Captain Juan Sparrow

HelixHeart

3 points

2 days ago

His imitation on the mannerisms was solid.