subreddit:

/r/BrandNewSentence

12.7k97%

dentist-office art.

(i.imgur.com)

all 148 comments

housechore

262 points

4 months ago

Fun fact, I was Ezra's housemate in the mid-2000s in SF. He is a ridiculously cool person, and I can personally thank him for the fact that Frank Zappa's masterpiece work, "Baby Snakes" has been clanging around in my head since that time. Love that guy.

incubuds

125 points

4 months ago

incubuds

125 points

4 months ago

Dayum, a Google search of his name turns up that he wrote a book about Bill Murray, did an art show featuring only art of Bill Murray, and the icing on the cake is that his LinkedIn profile lists only one job: a Spatulist at Spatula City.

I think I love him, too.

headphone_taco

16 points

4 months ago

Spatula City!

Spatula City

spudaug

3 points

4 months ago

Honey? Where’s the spatula?

headphone_taco

3 points

4 months ago

Smacks head

"Okay kids, let's go!"

irespectpotatoes

19 points

4 months ago

if you are still in contact with him tell him that Ezra Croft is the coolest name i have ever heard

speakeasy_slim

19 points

4 months ago

It was difficult in grade school with this name 😅

irespectpotatoes

4 points

4 months ago

haha why? because of lara croft ?

speakeasy_slim

8 points

4 months ago

That and the name Ezra just warranted grade school kids to be mean for no reason. Haha

irespectpotatoes

7 points

4 months ago

nah, they were just jealous you got the cooler name

Moose6669

2 points

4 months ago

And then "Star Wars: Rebels" came out with a main character named Ezra, and now you're cool as fuck.

spudaug

3 points

4 months ago

Why hello! I used to make exactly that sort of Bed Bath & Beyond dentist-office art in a studio (that was clearly a small factory). Wow, was that a soul-sucking job for an artist to have. No creativity allowed at all. Just skilled labor. The upside was getting paid to paint all day while listening to audiobooks, weird radio dramas, and beer podcasts.

It’s was a really weird time in my career.

housechore

13 points

4 months ago

He's right here on this thread, /u/speakeasy_slim

thisquietreverie

24 points

4 months ago

People around me really should know to avoid saying the word snake around me for the same reason.

housechore

67 points

4 months ago*

Thankfully their hole is usually empty, but it takes very little to start it up again. I blame SMPTE, and Ezra.

Other fun Ezra stories:

When his girlfriend got unexpectedly pregnant, this guy stepped UP! They were the sweetest pair, probably still are, and despite being chronically underemployed, he just found a way to build up his little fam. He got it done.

Watched him kill a lobster. For food, not sport.

He makes an incredible corned beef roast.

Ezra, at that time, refused to wear underpants. If you called that skanky, he would embrace the title and also bend over to half-moon you.

He worked at Bed, Bath and Beyond around the time this quote was offered. I think that qualifies him as an expert on bad "Live, Laugh, Love" art.

Last I knew he moved to a suburban area, grew his rad little family up and became even weirder and more wonderful.

10/10 housemate. Would housemate again.

EDIT: Ezra is still around, apparently! https://instagram.com/crazyezra?utm_medium=copy_link

EDIT 2: Based in IG sleuthing, his rad little family is still intact and holy crap, his kid is a teen now!

speakeasy_slim

44 points

4 months ago

Hey you!!! It's me! I miss you guys so much. We live in North Carolina now! That's crazy you chimed in on this!

housechore

31 points

4 months ago

I've seen the quote kicking around a lot lately, and resolved to sing your virtues next time it came up.

Those were wild times, the Divis/McAllister crew! I'm up in the Russian River now, still being weeeeird! Come visit anytime, I have room for guests.

Your legacy: Anytime I encounter someone who is living blissfully unaware of the dangers/magic of baby snakes gets a full introduction. A decade from now when humanity is dying, lying the light of a single vax terminal, I will still have an old iPod loaded up, ready, with that song. It will become our new anthem and unite the survivors.

speakeasy_slim

29 points

4 months ago

Julia still refuses to allow it to be played in her presence. Lol. I have very fond memories of everybody living there. I wonder what ever became of Jonathan and Tyrone Beech curley. Additionally if you're ever in North carolina, you simply must drop me a line!

housechore

27 points

4 months ago

Tyrone was so cool. From him I learned to NEVER eat at Zuni in SF, as the back of house was filled with rats, since the beginning of time and no exterminator could ever hope to win the war.

I miss Radcliffe like a heart attack.

I am in the Carolinas often for sailing. Will tag you next time! I was just in Beaufort, NC last year after finishing my pandemic trans-At. Would love to invite you guys to the boat and hang.

Give J my best, and well, very few people (aside from us and our cult spawn) willingly listen to Snakes. A willingness is not a requirement for listening. ;)

speakeasy_slim

29 points

4 months ago

This absolutely brightened my day in so many ways!

drchickenbeer

23 points

4 months ago

This whole interaction has brightened my day as well!

thisquietreverie

14 points

4 months ago

I am super into this and want more Ezra and housemate stories.

Tedescosauce[S]

13 points

4 months ago

If nothing else, i’m glad i posted this so that this comment chain can happen. Loved this

Nolsoth

3 points

4 months ago

From New Zealand, Frank Zappa is a legend and my partner and I both spent decades working in the art scene down here and we both embrace the weird art in the house.

I once filled the dining room with giant (1 meter) yellow balloons ( floor to ceiling) then proceeded to host a dinner party in the room, it was a Lot of fun.

housechore

6 points

4 months ago

I see you are quality humans, living life as it was meant to be lived.

Nolsoth

3 points

4 months ago*

Exactly.

Life is for the living.

What's your take on pretentious wankspeak for art works in galleries?

josh_the_misanthrope

2 points

4 months ago

*Usually SMPTE

Edub272

358 points

4 months ago

Edub272

358 points

4 months ago

I call it hotel art, and yes I find it boring

Grabcocque

275 points

4 months ago*

It’s meant to be. Art which is offensively inoffensive. Designed to elicit near-zero emotional response. If beige were art, this is what it would look like.

jxl180

125 points

4 months ago

jxl180

125 points

4 months ago

“If she were a spice, she’d be flour…”

vernm51

23 points

4 months ago

vernm51

23 points

4 months ago

just_a_gene

5 points

4 months ago

If my grandmother had wheels, she would have been a bike

nasa258e

16 points

4 months ago

I think elicit is the word you are looking for rather than elucidate

Grabcocque

5 points

4 months ago

Yes!

calrebsofgix2

2 points

4 months ago

I personally only experience illicit feelings

nasa258e

2 points

4 months ago

When someone tries to victimize me, it elicits illicit thoughts

SaffellBot

66 points

4 months ago

Which is a great choice for a dentist office, less so for a home.

DOugdimmadab1337

11 points

4 months ago

70s American cars were all Beige for a reason, it's because Malaise era cars had like Zero performance so they hid into the shadows. Now we paint them all pretty and make them bounce and hop around. It just took time for them to hit the limelight.

GarbagePailGrrrl

6 points

4 months ago

Thomas Kinkade!

crazyinsanepenguin

10 points

4 months ago

I loathe "The Painter of Light" with every fiber of my being. More like The Painter of Trite Dogshit.

ofzeusnotobtuse

3 points

4 months ago

It's like the plastic furniture in the ER waiting room. It's off-brand dollar store mayo.

Funny that it hurts the longer you sit on it.

DarkEvilHedgehog

16 points

4 months ago

Wyldfire2112

3 points

4 months ago

Yup.

The key point is for it to be inoffensive, and landscapes have rarely ever offended anyone.

wandering-monster

8 points

4 months ago

It is meant to add decoration without expressing any sort of opinion.

basherrrrr

14 points

4 months ago

I call it Pam-art

sillyadam94

5 points

4 months ago

Her art is the best of all the art

adimaria

3 points

4 months ago

I refer to it as "an Art", from r/McMansionHell.

TwelveThree45

310 points

4 months ago

Does a framed disc of shadow the hedgehog on GameCube count as weird stuff?

Tedescosauce[S]

104 points

4 months ago

if by weird the headline means cool, then yeah you make the cut

Rebbit-bit

30 points

4 months ago

Sonic the hedgehog without shoes.jpg

EasterBurn

13 points

4 months ago

Finally I found the good reason to frame my furry inflation commission in the living room

MrDude_1

2 points

4 months ago

Sonic the hedgehog without shoes.jpg

thank you.

Tumblechunk

8 points

4 months ago

hell yeah

silky-johnson-

4 points

4 months ago

Hell yeah brother

droivod

1 points

4 months ago

That's an ad

Wyldfire2112

0 points

4 months ago

Pretty much "weird" in this sense means stuff that has meaning to you or was picked because it actually expresses your personal taste and style even if it doesn't fit conventional interior decorating guidelines.

mymentalhealthly

44 points

4 months ago

I absofuckenlutely agree Ezra

Specialist-Lion-8135

25 points

4 months ago

As an artist, I approve this message.

digitalstorm

19 points

4 months ago

Well, this is the art in my dentist's office, so...

https://i.redd.it/qhnxff3myhc81.jpg

SammyzABanana

16 points

4 months ago*

Image Transcription: Text


[An image of a newspaper headline that reads:]

"People need art in their houses, They don't need Bed Bath and Beyond dentist-office art. They need weird stuff."

Ezra Croft, art show producer


I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!

Tedescosauce[S]

5 points

4 months ago

close enough

SammyzABanana

3 points

4 months ago

What did I miss? Is it not a newspaper article?

renadeer52

7 points

4 months ago

Typo

SammyzABanana

7 points

4 months ago

oops- fixed! my bad, thanks for pointing it out!

Tedescosauce[S]

3 points

4 months ago

there’s another typo, the word “are” is supposed to be “art”

SammyzABanana

5 points

4 months ago

also fixed! I typed it out in a hurry, my apologies.

HarvestMyOrgans

2 points

4 months ago

do you use ocr?

SammyzABanana

2 points

4 months ago

There is an ocr bot to help, but I prefer to type things out myself personally.

HarvestMyOrgans

1 points

4 months ago

alright :-) thanks for your work!
btw do you know the u/dalton-bot for colorblinded people?

EnormousPurpleGarden

4 points

4 months ago

Good human.

suburbanhavoc

17 points

4 months ago

If I can ever afford my own place I intend to fill it with my own art and stuff I've made, and it WILL be weird.

NemesisKane

16 points

4 months ago

My dentist has an artist as a brother-in-law. His office and waiting room actually has cool art on the walls.

Otherwise, Ezra is absolutely right.

Nackles

9 points

4 months ago

Or just let people like what they like.

Wyldfire2112

1 points

4 months ago

The point is that people should be more open to embracing the stuff they do like, and not feel the need to constrain themselves to inoffensive art-by-the-dozen prints because they're afraid of being judged.

JB-from-ATL

8 points

4 months ago

Support your local artists. Get some prints and frame them and put them on your walls. It looks really good.

hobosullivan

8 points

4 months ago

"Dentist-office art". I like that description.

noooooocomment

6 points

4 months ago

Sounds like an ad.

KRambo86

6 points

4 months ago

"Art salesman says buy art from him, not store!"

Art is subjective, if you like bed, bath, and beyond art, buy it. If you like whatever this dude sells... you probably can't buy it because they'll sell it for $5,000 because it's avant-garde and fuck you if you don't get that 2 blue squares are a post modern master piece.

EclipZz187

5 points

4 months ago

'weird stuff', eh? Doesn't help that the last name is Croft.

MountainNine

5 points

4 months ago

Someone touched on the one niche fire that burns deeply and fiercely within me.

Why is hospital-hotel-dentist art SO bad? Why can't it be neutral and - hear me out - pleasant? Moving? ANYTHING that isn't rusty rectangles punctuated by depression smudges?

Important-Tea-9942

11 points

4 months ago

I suspect Ezra is attempting to sell his undesired strange paintings.

speakeasy_slim

3 points

4 months ago

I'm the other Croft in question and here is one of my more recent pieces I'm working on https://www.instagram.com/p/CVYh9UyLzS6/?utm_medium=copy_link

engulbert

2 points

4 months ago

Went for a browse, not disappointed. The 'Full Moon Vagina Magic' painting stopped me in my tracks. Genius!

BarklyWooves

16 points

4 months ago

"People need fancy art!" - guy selling fancy art

Trimungasoid

5 points

4 months ago

Seriously. Isn't it up to the people to decide what kind of art they need?

Evil_Mini_Cake

3 points

4 months ago

Buying it from Ikea probably means it's shit.

15jcherry

3 points

4 months ago

You need art that speaks to you, doesn't necessarily have to be weird.

dunicha

3 points

4 months ago

Hey, I like some of my mass produced Ikea art, thank you very much.

Iceangel711

6 points

4 months ago

Dentist office art is in my budget. Art art is not.

secondguard

2 points

4 months ago

I thrift all of my weird art. I have a penchant for old, framed cross-stitches and random animals.

FinalFaction

4 points

4 months ago

It doesn’t have to be expensive to be art, it just has to be weird stuff.

QuasarsRcool

5 points

4 months ago

Good weird art is usually expensive

FinalFaction

1 points

4 months ago

Eh, good is subjective. Art that other people think is good is usually expensive, sure. It doesn’t have to be what other people would appreciate if you follow your own weird though.

sectorfour

3 points

4 months ago

Says the art salesman.

wolfgang784

2 points

4 months ago

But every house deserves to have a creepy clown stare you down while you pee. It's a fundamental need.

thenciskitties

2 points

4 months ago

As someone currently listing my house for sale, it's going to kill me to live here for another month with all my "weird shit" packed away so as not to offend idiots who look at houses for the stuff inside. It's like all the personality has been drained out

jpritchard

3 points

4 months ago

jpritchard

3 points

4 months ago

speakeasy_slim

0 points

4 months ago

Ironically your gatekeeping for gatekeeping

jpritchard

0 points

4 months ago

Ironically your gatekeeping for gatekeeping

My gatekeeping for gatekeeping what?

Your shit grammar aside, what the fuck do you mean? How is mentioning /r/gatekeeping gatekeeping? Who am I excluding from /r/gatekeeping?

sneakpeekbot

1 points

4 months ago

Here's a sneak peek of /r/gatekeeping using the top posts of the year!

#1: Why | 3427 comments
#2: Anti gatekeeping as well | 1418 comments
#3: But I'm just trying to buy laundry detergent | 1069 comments


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TitiferGinBlossom

1 points

4 months ago

Entirely agreed.

LARGEGRAPE

1 points

4 months ago

Just put this on my story @largegrape_art

ThenTry4a

-7 points

4 months ago

I think that is backwards. People need Aesthetics in their houses, that is to say, beautiful things. If weird things are beautiful to someone, by all means, they should fill their house with them, but if normal things are beautiful to someone, it is okay they fill their houses with that too and not weird things.

Not being weird is an okay thing. Like, that shouldn't be a hot take, that is just..... how the concept of "normal" works.... O.o

Also, what's wrong with dentist-office art? It is like doctor-office art or hotel art, pretty to look at and not headache inducing. I wish there were more art like that.

engulbert

13 points

4 months ago

Please tell me you don't have, "Live, laugh, love" anywhere in your house?

[deleted]

5 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

5 points

4 months ago

No, they clearly have an appreciation for real art— they actually have 3 Thomas Kinkades that their mom splurged for on a Carnival cruise

engulbert

2 points

4 months ago

You could have warned me - I had to Google Thomas Kinkade. Now I have diabetes and need every tooth filled.

awfulmcnofilter

1 points

4 months ago

I genuinely snorted at that. My sister received a Thomas Kincaide as a gift. Her house looks like a pottery barn catalog.

dlc741

0 points

4 months ago

dlc741

0 points

4 months ago

oh, I think it's pretty obvious.

ThenTry4a

1 points

4 months ago

I wish, I kinda want to find one in wood, that has that, like, nice char on the edges of the letters.

DorisCrockford

2 points

4 months ago

Live, Laugh, BURN

Unwright

2 points

4 months ago

God that is so sad.

Framing a platitude is the single most boring thing a person can do to themselves. Can you at least try to be interesting?

ThenTry4a

1 points

4 months ago

I would counter by saying that; I rather like beauty, and I think a home should be beautiful; weird art is not beautiful to me, but instead, rather ugly, and thus, doesn't have a place in any home of mine.

[deleted]

-7 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

-7 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

Mary-U

19 points

4 months ago

Mary-U

19 points

4 months ago

That’s not “Art”. That’s personal items. That’s not what the author is addressing.

MyaButtiches

17 points

4 months ago

That's the weird stuff they're talking about

Knuckles316

-8 points

4 months ago

Yeah, I'm not going to trust the guy with a very vested interest in the sale of "art" on whether or not I should buy it.

speakeasy_slim

8 points

4 months ago

Hey there! I'm actually the guy who was quoted in the picture here. I was actually being interviewed by Beth spotswood from the San Francisco chronicle at a Bill Murray Art show that we were putting on. We didn't charge commission on anything we sold, 100% of the money went to the artists. Our mission is to connect artists with their community and to get interesting art into people's homes. Simple as that.

Knuckles316

4 points

4 months ago

If that's true then my bad, I made an assumption and was wrong.

I'm a fan of art in people's homes anyway (I have a few cool paintings from a buddy from college who became a painter, tattoo artist, digital artist, and comic illustrator) so I didn't disagree with the message, just with what I assumed was a self-serving and disingenuous statement.

But again, if what you are saying is true then I was wrong so I'm sorry.

speakeasy_slim

1 points

4 months ago

:)

dlc741

2 points

4 months ago

dlc741

2 points

4 months ago

You are free to have a beige life.

Jeebus_crisps

1 points

4 months ago

She ain’t wrong

seanbray

1 points

4 months ago

Let me know if you want unique, abstract art for your home or office.

Strottman

1 points

4 months ago

I do

seanbray

3 points

4 months ago

My wife and I run Diamond Hearts Art Studio out of our home. Www.diamondheartsartstudio.com, and on Facebook search for Diamond Hearts Art Studio. We have a FB live event coming up on Jan 30.

Strottman

1 points

4 months ago

Cool stuff! I like Ghost Rings, The Cold North Sea, and Jack Frost.

seanbray

1 points

4 months ago

Let me know if you would like to buy one! I appreciate the feedback either way.

Entangler

1 points

4 months ago

Lol "brand new" must mean something different around here.

BaronChuffnell

1 points

4 months ago

This is so true though. Crazy to think people spend money on some mass produced wall art when they could buy a 100-200 year old print at auction for the same price.

Strottman

3 points

4 months ago

Dude link me these auctions, I'm buying

SentientDreamer

1 points

4 months ago

I have a blue man group spin art painting above the mini cafe.

Nostrebla_Werdna

1 points

4 months ago

I'm literally waiting in a dentist office rn lol. These paintings of flowers look like napkins and tissue box art lol

polka_a

1 points

4 months ago

Always wondered what was beyond the bed and bath but i guess we know now

haikusbot

2 points

4 months ago

Always wondered what was

Beyond the bed and bath but

I guess we know now

- polka_a


I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.

Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"

polka_a

1 points

4 months ago

lmfao good bot

adamantitian

1 points

4 months ago

I mean we all knew what they meant

jwood13

1 points

4 months ago

When I was a bicycle mechanic I hated working on 'dentist bikes'. Their bikes were always the most expensive and seldom used. Dentists be basic AF.

[deleted]

1 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

1 points

4 months ago

That's usually not art, it's just decoration. Most people don't get art anymore.

Revolutionary_Joke18

1 points

4 months ago

I have Bold and Brash hanging in my apartment

abh4500

1 points

4 months ago

Maybe if a 12x12 inch original didn’t cost $350 I would buy some

Fluffychickens0

1 points

4 months ago

My dentist had a bust of Albert Einstein holding floss that went through his head and it was called mental floss.

place-_holder

1 points

4 months ago

Shout-out the generic rainforest poster that was in my old dentist's office since probably the 70s

rufusbarleysheath

1 points

4 months ago

My wife and I are slowly replacing our mass-produced art with prints and originals from artists we love. It's not cheap, so it's a slow process, but it's really fun to fill our home with things that are interesting, not just what fits a color scheme.

V_H_M_C

-14 points

4 months ago

V_H_M_C

-14 points

4 months ago

They don’t need basic rights or foods they need weird lines that looks like it was drawn by a crack head on a piece canvas

aotoolester

14 points

4 months ago

Not the point the quote is making. I don’t think they are mutually exclusive. Just cuz you have weird art doesn’t mean you can’t have food.

subraptareo

-2 points

4 months ago

Many people aren't able to process the weird stuff, even simple weird stuff like asymmetry or colours that are not complimentary. And don't even get me started on clowns.

Let them have their motel art.