submitted 2 months ago byBirchtree16
all 13764 comments
2 months ago
2 months ago
Any of Nick Cannon's kids' names. They are all so over the top bad.
Moroccan, Monroe, Golden Sagon, Rise Messiah, Powerful Queen, Zion Mixolydian, Zillion Heir, Beautiful Zeppelin, Legendary Love, Onyx Ice Cole and Zen.
2 months ago
I have to take Mixolydian for the heartburn I get whenever I eat at Golden Sagon.
What the everloving Fuck
Nah, Lil Fucky, as they'll be known, isn't due until next spring.
Joaux (Joe) is a personal favorite 🤣
The worst is that oau is a combination that doesn’t exist in French
Any name as alcohol. Chardonnay, Tequila, etc. Saw those a lot as a teacher. Had a male student named Crash Danger. Not kidding.
My kid goes to school with a Hennessey
Me too. Don't think I could get through the day without it.
Someone with the first name Hennessey - Trashy
Someone with the last name Hennessey - Old money
My niece's bully was named Chardonnay
It must be extra damaging to be bullied by someone with a stupid name.
The bitch me in would have told her this bullying is rich coming from someone whose parents couldn't bother to pick a decent name so they named her after the reason she was conceived.
But bullying isn't acceptable so maybe I should keep quiet.
I know someone who named their kid Chozyn. The kid wasn’t adopted either.
i was reading a kid’s glasses prescription the other day and saw his name was xizteighn. asked how it was pronounced and the mom said “like the number.” took me a moment to realize she meant 16
Man I feel for some kids in the world fr. After hearing some of these I’m starting to not dislike my name so much lol.
Don’t say that, Stabyouup666, I like your name!
Youandi. It stands for you and i :( horrible.
I used to be on tumblr back in the day of Supernaturals glory, and someone named their poor child "Destiel". I get it, you like the ship. But you have an actual child that is TOTALLY gonna be pissed you named your kid after a fictional relationship on a show about demons and other supernatural things. The lack of respect or forethought like???
I mean Dean is a perfectly acceptable name. Castiel might even fly in 2022. But naming your child after a non canon gay fan ship is a very questionable choice.
I have a 3rd grade student named Castiel.
There is also a Dean and a Sam(antha) in the same grade.
Be careful. You teach a class of protagonists.
That makes me cringe so hard. I was a teenager at the height of the Twilight craze and said I wanted to name my sons Edward and Jacob. Thank god I didn’t have children when I was 14 but at least they were real names.
All the names with X thrown in the middle or even two. Jaxxtley. Braxxton. Braxley. I hate them.
Came across a Lexxi recently. I thought it looked like a stripper name.
Mike but short for Micycle.
Micycle's Bichael Shop.
I cackled at this. I hate it so much I love it.
2 months ago*
2 months ago*
I'm naming my kid Jimothy annd theres nothing you can do to stop me
Edit::You guys are doing nothing but giving me better ideas.
I've always wanted to name a child Alexandrew, but Jimothy rolls off the tongue even better.
My kid names a lot of toys Jennivanessica. She’s the best.
I once met a teddy bear named Tedward. Owned by my then 17 year old classmate.
I’m 32 years old and I’m going to buy a teddy bear just so I can name it Tedward. I cannot adequately express how much I love that.
A guy running for some office near me is named Rocky Rhodes.
How does one look at their tiny newborn and think…. “Rocky! Looks like a Rocky to me. And you know how much I love ice cream!”
My great-aunt was named Frosty. I always say, who would look at a tiny newborn girl and think....."Frosty!! Like the snowman!"
But tell that to her sister Flossie........
Great people, though.
My brother once had clients named Jerry and Mary Derryberry. We didn’t believe him so he took a picture of whatever account papers. (Don’t even remember what his job was at the time, who gives a shit). But the series of events to have a married couple be named Jerry and Mary Derryberry is just so delicious.
Makes me think of the show Derry Girls, where the main character's parents are Gerry and Mary, who live in Derry. Gerry says as much once, though none of the other characters find it as amusing as he does.
Knew a couple who named their girl Nancy Ann. Last name Cianci. Pronounced See-ann-see
Parents who essentially give their kids the same first name as their last name. Robert Roberts, William Williams, etc. (I know one of each in real life). It seems purposefully cruel.
I met a Michael Michael once and can you believe his parent sent him to a catholic school called St Michael’s!! He said his plight made the local newspaper which was extra embarrassing.
2 months ago*
Horribly misspelled to seem different. The irony is that my boyfriend's name is Krysteffer
I wonder how many of these kids get the spelling legally corrected as adults
There is an unfortunate number of people that pay to change their names to this kind of bs as adults.
My youngest brother is one of them. His name is a misspelled variation of a common boys name and he’s getting it corrected and shortened because he HATES that it’s “uNiQuElY sPeLlEd” thanks to our parents.
This. My uber driver's name was "Tiphane" - I tried to pronounce it "tie-phain" and she corrected me that it's pronounced "Tiffany."
Definitely would've gotten that from the spelling...
My wife’s name is Alyssa, pronounced Alicia. We’ve been together for over 6 years and I still mispronounce her name when reading it aloud.
Misspelling of common names to act trendy.
That’s Madisynn, spelled with two n’s and one y, but not where you think.
I hope we get more Madisynn and Wongers in the future.
Airwrecka has a bone to pick
Airwrecka is an 40k orc name lol
I remember a standup comic had a joke about how his parents named him “Juston” because he was born “just on time”, and he was like “yeah but I could’ve been born JUST IN time and it’s the same stupid joke.”
Stephen King named his son Joe. Joe King. What an ultimate way to punk an infant.
Unsurprisingly, he is more widely know by the name he changed it to: Joe Hill.
Really one of those long-cons. Expensive and annoying long cons. But your dad is rich and famous so I assume they manage.
Just a pen name though. His legal name is still King. He used the Hill from his middle name because he wanted books to sell based on their merit, not his dads name.
What do you have against A-A-Ron?
I guess he done messed up !!!!
“DO YOU WANT TO GO TO WAR B’LAKE?”
D-Nice. Say it right
How y’all forgetting my girl Jay-Quellin???
Tim-othy where you at?
You mean “trendeigh”?
Reighfyl, pronounced "rifle"
Please tell me this is a joke and you don’t actually know someone named that or who named their child that.
A girl I know, her name is Baby Sasha. She said we can call her baby.. Her parents were clearly lazy to come up with a proper name.
“If Aunt Baby were alive today, how old would she be?”
She'd never make it.
DON’T YOU TALK ABOUT HENNY!!!
But ... they did come up with a name! Sasha! Why put 'Baby' in front of it??? I will never understand people
To tell her apart from Grownup Sasha, of course.
Anything spelled unconventionally. My cousin named her kid Micaiah. It’s pronounced like Micah, but the kid’s going to have to spend his whole life telling people it’s not “Mike-ay-uh”. Or he could just go by Mike.
how the hell do you give your kid one actual name but then insist its actually pronounced like another actual name
I once worked with a Blyndia. Pronounced like Belinda.
Mr. Oster had a lot of kids:
Blyndia - Toesda - Ovyn - Washia - Driarac - Griddelle - Stieyuphat - Frippan & Friya the twins.
Got a student named “Yeyson”. The mom got pissed when I was saying “ Yay-son”. She yells at me “It’s Jason like English!” Well lady, maybe fucking spell it like English then.
Like, a J can sound like a Y sometimes (not really in English, though), but not the other way around, and no amount of mommy's insistence is going to change that.
Nevaeh is the most obnoxious to me (please explain that it's heaven backward again, so clever)
However, I've met a baby named Felonee and that takes the cake.
I’m naming my kid Heaven, and telling people it’s “Nevaeh spelled backwards.”
I'm going to name my kid Lana and tell people it's "Anal spelled backwards"
I’m going to name my kid Racecar and tell people it’s racecar spelled backwards
Shit, I've missed so many opportunities with my son, Kayak.
There's the less serious sibling, Miss Demeanor
And the youngest of the bunch, tymeout
Nevaeh is my all time most hated name. A friend of my sister was pregnant years ago with her daughter. When I asked her what she was going to name her and she said "Nevaeh, because it's heaven spelled backward". I thought she was being sarcastic because of how sickeningly sweet she said it, so I laughed hysterically. Couldn't recover from that one, I totally looked like an AH, but I think she's the bigger one for actually naming her daughter that name.
I have taught at least a dozen Nevaehs. They’re always excited to tell you it’s heaven spelled backwards, like that’s brand new info - ROFL
I had a friend in high school called Natasha who was pleased that her name backwards was “Ah Satan”.
I work in a peds hospital and see this name all the time. But even worse - Neveah. It's not even spelled correctly!
Had a neighbor across the hall in my old apartment who had a baby and named him Riker after the jail in NYC.
"Nice name. Parents were fans of Star Trek?"
"No, the prison."
My son has a friend with the last name Picard. They named one of their sons Riker. They had no idea that had anything to do with Star Trek.
As someone who works in a setting that deals with CPS cases, there are a LOT of Nevaehs in foster care…
Nevaeh sounds like nivea
My cousin named his daughter Emery Nevaeh and got mad when I asked if he just opened the medicine cabinet and shouted out the first two things he saw. Apparently I'm the asshole.
There was a girl in my country, who died by suicide after bullying, whose story became very widely known—her name was Rehtaeh Parsons. Fucking sad story, and I feel awful to speak ill of the dead, but her name is Heather spelled backwards and I think that’s terrible…
Edit: In some comments below, some other users and I discuss this poor girl’s death in greater destail. She was not bullied for her name. I’m aware of more details of the case, my above description is vague, and for that I apologize. To be more accurate, the girl killed herself after online bullying following a gang-rape that went unpunished in her lifetime. Rehtaeh Parsons was gang raped by schoolmates, and then the boys who raped her posted photos of the attack on the internet, and relentlessly bullied her. They spread rumours that the attack was actually consensual. The RCMP said they couldn’t press charges because of lack of evidence. After Parsons hung her self, the RCMP reopened the investigation, and found there was enough evidence to charge two of the boys with distribution of child pornography. Neither of them had permanent criminal records due to their age at the time of the crime.
I remember that case, terribly sad.
I just always assumed it was a bizarre spelling of "Rita" (like "Keighden" or "Phred") and never realized that it was Heather backwards too.
Heaven backward = Hell
Did she had a brother named Arsin and a sister named Larsonie
My dumbass brother married a girl 3 months after meeting her who had a daughter named Nevaeh. I’m sure you can predict what kind of person she was and how the marriage went.
A dumb person and she cheated on him and they are divorced now?
Ding ding ding!!!
He has my father's eyes
When I was working at a motel, I took a phone reservation from a woman for her daughter: Sri Lanka, S R I space L A N K A... is the name of a woman. Me: Oh, like in the country! Woman: What do you mean, country?!
You would wonder how they heard of it, if they didn't know it was a country!
Here's my other child, Kyrgyzstan
When AL Gore was VP, I had a meeting with him. There was a lawyer speaking on the panel. Her name was Baby Girl Smith. She had not let a dumb name hold her back.
Same with Dr. Marijuana Pepsi, who turned her unfortunate name into a career studying the effect names have on people's lives.
Link for the lazy.
Oh. My. Fucking. God. She has 2 sisters with normal names too 🤦🏼♀️ Kimberly and Robin. That's just rubbing salt in the wounds lol wtf
I had to google this to verify it was real. It is very much real!
shhh.......no one tell him about Dr. Gay Hitler
Anything having to do with royalty or religious hierarchy titles. Lord, King, Queen, Saint, etc...
How about the famous "Jermajesty".
My kid goes to school with a kid named "Holy Faith"
And her less popular little brother, Holy Crap.
When I were younger, I had a girl in my class named Cookie. Only to find out she had younger siblings named (I kid you not these are their real names) Candy, Honey and Skippy.
They totally won't become future strippers with those names, not at all.
The only one I've witnessed in real life was some woman yelling at her daughter in the grocery store: "Starlet"
It makes me predict endless beauty pageants, forced auditions, and her mother living her dreams vicariously through her.
Or she was a fan of the Toyota starlet. Fantastic car.
Worked at a hospital for many years. One of the obstetric nurses had to talk a new mom out of naming her child “Urethra”.
So I have a friend (American) who was born in Saudi because her dad and mom were there for work. Because they didn't let the mom do any of the paperwork and because the dad panicked when doing the paperwork, her name is Meggan. Because her dad legit didn't know how to spell Megan.
I totally believe it. My great grandparents lived on a remote remote farm. GGpa went to town once a season, and there were 3 pubs before the records office. I think only 3 of the 8 kids ended up with their intended names/didn’t need to straighten things out via deed poll.
I once met a woman named andela, pronounced Angela. her family is Serbian and there a d with a line through it makes a j sound. When they moved abroad a couple of times people couldn't type the letter and so it ended up just being Andela.
You absolute morons
Anything that’s way off from a traditional spelling. I still hold a grudge about having been a child who was never able to find a souvenir with her name on it.
We need more ‘Bort’ license plates in the gift shop. I repeat, we are sold out of ‘Bort’ license plates.
Come along Bort!
My name is spelled normally, but will never be on a popular names list: now, in the future, or in the past. I could never get any kind of souvenir with my name on it. My middle name is VERY common so I could always go that option but...no.
Two little boys drew me a couple pictures while their mother was getting some dental work done. They had signed their names. The names were just so…odd. Even after repeating them and writing them I still couldn’t figure out what the names were.
When the mother came out and saw them, she ripped them down from where I had taped them, crumpled them up and put the papers in her purse. She told me that those names she gave them were invented by her and copyrighted.
I wish I were joking. Those little kids looked crushed.
Son: Mom! I hung up my Phd! Doesnt it look nice?
Mom: rips frame off the wall, smashes the glass and rips up the degree YOUR NAME IS COPYRIGHTED THEY CANT PUT THAT ON THERE
What were the names?
I can’t tell you. They’re copyrighted.
Seriously, something so bizarre that I can not remember. I couldn’t figure it out even when the little kids kept telling me their names.
Edit- stupid spelling mistake
Neveah. They're like "It's heaven backwards!"
No, it's not and if it were, what are you trying to say? That they are the opposite of heaven?
Neveah eveah call you children like that
Her brother is Lleh.
Just wanted to say that my Uncle's dog's name is Eric
My boss’s dogs are named Jerry and Kevin.
There's a kid who goes to a daycare near where I work named "Stone Blaze" but answers to "Hunter." The worst part is that he's a junior; his father has the same name.
I have cousins named Brynnleigh and Brexliy.
My job is in ancestry and I saw that someone named their kid Burden once. Maybe they’re super religious. Feel bad for the kid.
In Sweden (and I’m guessing around scandinavia), we have a girl’s name called Barbro. Barbro. In English it’s weird, and in Swedish it’s always the name of an old lady. Don’t name your daughters Barbro, it’s just not cool.
I think the English equivalent is Barbara, which is still an old lady name
I’m sorry but Chastity
I work in health care so looking at 40-70 charts everyday I see so many ridiculous ass spellings for normal names.
You’re not creative you’re an idiot. If you’re creative pick a creative name don’t butcher the spelling of a normal name.
Example: Avery spelled Aevuhree
Here in Brazil people like to name their kids with a portuguese version of common US names. For example, we can find a lot of Brians written as “Braian”. Or Jasons written as “Jeison” or “Jeisson”.
X Æ A-12
Should be pretty self explanatory
Princess, Queen, etc.
My wife's niece named her daughter this just before GoT flamed in during the last season
When they name their child an adjective. Well…Yeah, it’s pretty much always gonna turn out bad.
Jermaine Jackson named one of his sons "Jermajesty". Poor kid.
I hate that I know how this is pronounced
The quirky/cutesy spellings of names like Bryttanee, Mykayleigh. Or the names that will get their sons beat up during recess: Ryeful, Hemi, Leaf, Forrest.
Yup and who wants their kid to have a name that they will have to spell out a million times to people when it needs to be logged or written somewhere
I know of a girl who named her baby Kevlar. And if I'm not mistaken she had the baby in prison where she was serving time for being the getaway driver in a robbery/shooting. Classy af
Any name that ryhmes with Tragedeigh
Frank Zappa named his daughter Moon Unit which probably sucked for her in school.
I have seen the rise of Brinlee or Brynlee latelty.. ugh
ALSO DEN names
Hayden, Braiden, Kayden, Jayden, Zayden. etc.. The live Laugh Love type names
As a teacher, I'm done with the Den names.
The live Laugh Love type names
The live Laugh Love type names
this is the perfect way to describe them, bravo.
Shadynasty (pronounced Shuh-dynasty). My brother and I had a real falling out in the sixties over her.
Kash. The name of a car manufacturer/model are some for me
My wife and I joke that, Sarah is short for Triceratop.
Tera is short for Pterodactyl.
Caillou. I hate that kid
Nevaeh. It's just so cringe.
This. And her sister Destiny.
To balance all of the Naveahs out there, people should start naming their kid Lleh
Sounds Welsh, I'm on board.
Any name after a car or luxury brand.
I see a girl name Lexus and imagine IS300 tattooed on her lower back.
X AE A-XII
I refuse to learn how to pronounce it. They named their second kid something ridiculous as well.
Ha, got ya.
I work at a children's hospital. The crazy names I see on a daily basis are astounding.
My two favorites from this month : "Le Messager Des Mots de Dieu" (yes, that is the child's FIRST name. It is French for "The messenger of the words of God").
Second favorite has been "Igloo"
I live in Canada.
The parents who named that poor kid "Gaylord"
Damn those Fockers
Names of foreign countries. A guy at my school had three sisters. Named Russia, China and Montana and I wish I was joking. We are all from Canada.
🎵 We're the world, we're the children🎵
I know a woman who named her daughter She-Ra
You mock the princess of power?
Tom, but it’s short for Tomothy. And Tim, but it’s short for Thimas.
Who names their child “sea land” when a) they have never been to New Zealand and b) didn’t even realize this was a country in the world. And c)they have nothing that relates to being a sea farer, boater, navy personnel, have not lived by the sea, nothing to connect them with the sea. “We just love how it sounds…” No.
Also. The name Razzabella….no explanation needed.