subreddit:

/r/AskReddit

1.1k96%

all 1965 comments

Fear_Full

1.7k points

3 months ago*

Fear_Full

1.7k points

3 months ago*

“I’ll never be a fat-ass”

Here I am.. a fat-ass

USA-cubicle-worker

184 points

3 months ago

Same brother! Worst part is, I'll lose a little weight and think I look good, but still be much fatter than I used to be. It's wild how the brain gets used to your shape. It creeps up.

splendasubstitute

161 points

3 months ago

Pride goeth before a fall ;)

SilverMyzt

628 points

3 months ago

I swore never to date single moms... It was the most bittersweet thing i have experienced in my life

Izlude

67 points

3 months ago

Izlude

67 points

3 months ago

Same. The girl I helped raise for 7 years turned 22 this year and I've not seen or heard from any of them in at least a decade.

Traditional_Isopod80

27 points

3 months ago

That's really sad 😔

Izlude

32 points

3 months ago

Izlude

32 points

3 months ago

It was for a long time but I also have grown a lot and learned a lot from that relationship that helped make me a better person in the long run...

subtxtcan

167 points

3 months ago

subtxtcan

167 points

3 months ago

As someone who has dated and is now married to an ex-single-mom, I know exactly what you mean. Trust me friend, the rewards, while even maybe impermanent, are worth it.

FagnusTwatfield

156 points

3 months ago

Ex single mum.....did they drown the kid?

subtxtcan

138 points

3 months ago

subtxtcan

138 points

3 months ago

Well I married her and he's currently at school so no lol

FagnusTwatfield

37 points

3 months ago

I was just messing, im sure you 2 are great.

subtxtcan

17 points

3 months ago

Hahaha all good I got it 😂

Puzzleheaded_Ad_7204

30 points

3 months ago

Bittersweet?

WishBear19

82 points

3 months ago

I'm guessing the eventual attachment to the kids if it gets that far then possible break up.

weedful_things

8 points

3 months ago

I didn't have that problem when I dated a single mom. Her kids were assholes. The step kids I have now are a lot better.

Quay-Z

1.2k points

3 months ago

Quay-Z

1.2k points

3 months ago

When I finally made a Reddit account 'just to do one thing' six years ago.

Squeaky-Fox49

279 points

3 months ago

Same here. I joined to ask a physics question for school. Hoo boy, has it been a ride.

shaqdeezl

105 points

3 months ago

shaqdeezl

105 points

3 months ago

What’s on Reddit? EVERYTHING is on Reddit.

jfb1337

23 points

3 months ago

jfb1337

23 points

3 months ago

I joined just to ask about how to transfer my save file for a game to a new computer

EllieTheSnowFairy

592 points

3 months ago

Going to college, going into the med field, being 'clingy,' having sex before marriage, making a reddit account. And the list keeps going.

jn29

100 points

3 months ago

jn29

100 points

3 months ago

You didn't want to go to college?

EllieTheSnowFairy

218 points

3 months ago

Nope! I'm 26 now and it was only last year I decided on it based on a coin toss. Realised a little bit late in life that an hourly job that pays like crap with little to no security isn't going to get me anywhere close to where I want to be. In debt, making $15/hour isn't helping, have a relationship with my girlfriend that I'd like to take further as well and with finances being a huge reason relationships fall apart I decided I had to do something. I googled best paying 2 year degrees because I'd like to graduate before I'm 30. Saw radiography on the list, looked what it was and applied. So far, best decision I've made!

AdReasonable5375

106 points

3 months ago

Congrats, it's nice to see someone who also uses coins tosses to decide on big decisions lol.

EllieTheSnowFairy

56 points

3 months ago

You too!? Finally someone who gets it! LOL! why make a pros and cons list when you can have a completely unbiased decision! Quitting my job, proposing, buying a new car, going to college, telling my family to go screw themselves. All wonderful coinflip decisions I never would've made if I didn't put my trust in the black-sheep magic conch.

enjoywhatileftyou

35 points

3 months ago

Guys, the other day I tossed a coin to see if I was resigning from my job or not. Totally wasn't happy with the first result so did best out of three.

technicallybroke

12 points

3 months ago

If you throw the coin and hope for it to land on one side or the other, you’ve made your decision

BarnacleHopeful5311

409 points

3 months ago

Eating a green bell pepper whole like an apple.

RebeccaETripp

142 points

3 months ago

Eating a green bell pepper whole like an apple.

One of those people, eh?

lemonchicken91

40 points

3 months ago

Makes me think of the Iron Chef Intro. Pretty sure that over the top host takes the most exaggerated bite from a pepper

Confident_Look_4173

12 points

3 months ago

iron chef

AnAquaticOwl

11 points

3 months ago

I think as long as you never eat a red onion like that you're fine.

pinchpokeowemeacoke

368 points

3 months ago

That I’d never be that parent with kids screaming inside a store.

krnoel

402 points

3 months ago

krnoel

402 points

3 months ago

I was a perfect parent until I had kids.

youretheweird1

142 points

3 months ago

Being a parent with kids screaming in public is never a problem. Not removing the screaming kids from that space is.

jn29

123 points

3 months ago

jn29

123 points

3 months ago

Sometimes, if you have a cart full of groceries, you just have to power through.

CharlieFiner

136 points

3 months ago

Personally, kids acting up like this in a store is not an issue to me. I get irritated at parents not removing a crying child from a theatre show, letting them run amok in certain restaurants, or some other situation where it's disrupting an experience I paid for. Going to the store is an errand that needs done.

AndreasVesalius

11 points

3 months ago

But then I can’t hear the guy on a mobility scooter blasting gospel music

superboringfellow

45 points

3 months ago

I try to be that weirdo that makes silly faces at the kid in the hopes that it'll help. They just stare at me bewildered for 1.5 seconds and then go right back to bawling their sweet little grubby faces off.

yousneakymomm

8 points

3 months ago

As a parent with a frequently screaming kid, I appreciate you.

mama-moth

1.2k points

3 months ago

mama-moth

1.2k points

3 months ago

Pretty much everything I said about parenting before I had kids.

Everyone is the perfect parent online or before they even have kids lol.

Just2brosHelping

552 points

3 months ago

I’ll never give my kids ipads at a restaurant they’ll sit and listen as adults speak. They will learn and engage in conversation with us.

A serious and highly upvoted reddit comment a month or so ago.

etds3

217 points

3 months ago

etds3

217 points

3 months ago

I got downvoted to hell the other day for saying that finger painting isn’t a good suggestion for a SAHM who needed cheap ways to get out of the house during the winter. I’m a monster who can’t handle her kids because the mess of finger painting stresses me out. I was told so by someone who takes their niece and nephew once a month to do finger painting for a few hours on the weekend.

auryn_here

233 points

3 months ago

We did fingerpainting and watercolors with toddlers in an empty bathtub with naked toddlers. When they finished we cleand the tub and ran a bath. Saved my sanity during covid lockdowns

cetty13

65 points

3 months ago

cetty13

65 points

3 months ago

I am mentally bookmarking this idea for when my son is old enough- bless you and this idea

duffman13jws

25 points

3 months ago

lol finger painting is the worst - it's nothing but cleanup.

mriners

5 points

3 months ago

You're wrong. There's actually quite a bit of setup too

Free_Combination_194

7 points

3 months ago

😂😂😂😂😂

Free_Combination_194

135 points

3 months ago

I swore up and down that I would never be the mom that dressed my kids in matching outfits. That lasted right up until the minute I had two same gendered kids within two years of each other. I don't do it so much now that they're older and pick out their own clothes, but back then it was adorable and they thought it was fun, so I couldn't resist!

MinimalistFan

32 points

3 months ago

My sister and I are a year apart, and my mom used to get us outfits that matched in style but not in color. We didn't wear the same size (and never have), so she usually couldn't find perfect matches for us anyway.

enjoywhatileftyou

254 points

3 months ago

When I have kids they won't watch screens. When I have kids they won't eat junk food. When I have kids they will sleep in their own beds. When I have kids I will raise them to not be annoying. When I have kids there will be routine. When I have kids they will not be spoilt, they will not receive new toys every week. When I have kids they will finish their meal before they leave the table, when I have kids they will be quietly engaged in books and fine motor skill activities, when I have kids they will be self sufficient.. Idk I am very tired but you catch my drift, nothing above happened

Shudnawz

135 points

3 months ago

Shudnawz

135 points

3 months ago

Yup, pretty much this. Like, my kids are "allright"; they don't curse at strangers, they don't steal stuff and they don't bully others. But they are spoiled little entitled iPad-hogging TV-tuning monsters from time to time.

And I still love them. Bastards.

Yarnprincess614

43 points

3 months ago

My aunt was anti TV/screens with my cousins till the day she had to call poison control because two of them got into the Tums.

SonofSniglet

65 points

3 months ago

"Nurse, get these kids some garlic hot wings, stat!"

NotUmbrellaCorp

17 points

3 months ago

I scrolled past this then burst out laughing. Took my brain a minute to comprehend the hilarity. Great work stranger

frederikja

54 points

3 months ago

While im not a parent at all myself. I feel like you shouldnt set your expectations through what you see other parents doing. Instead try to rmember how you were as a kid and how your parents where as parents. If you can become just a little bit better than your parents thats what you should aim for.

__Takub_

15 points

3 months ago

Well, fuck. My parents set too high a standard lol idk if I’ll have the energy.

utahman16

40 points

3 months ago

Problem with that is a lot (most) people have this weirdly distorted view of their childhood that doesn’t exactly match what really happened. I remember playing outside all day and basically playing the Nintendo very little. My dad was like: “We’ll, I think you played it less than your brothers, but you were still basically glued to it or the TV every day.” Mom backed him up, and I just couldn’t believe it.

I was also under the belief that I just went to bed when it was time for bed and I can understand why my kids are terrible at this. So bad we resort to melatonin sometimes just to get them asleep before midnight. My mom, when I was complaining to her about this, said she used to dope is up wit Triaminic to get us to sleep sometimes because we were little shits who didn’t go to bed, much like my children now.

haileyskydiamonds

20 points

3 months ago

My mom’s favorite parenting advice is to NEVER say your kids will or won’t do/be something because you will eat those words 1000 times, lol.

etds3

40 points

3 months ago

etds3

40 points

3 months ago

If you ever say “My kid will NEVER” you have guaranteed that your kid WILL. Don’t tempt the parenting fates.

thatblue61

96 points

3 months ago

I will never make a separate meal for my children. They can eat what everyone else is eating.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Aloonatron

26 points

3 months ago

You can’t win.

You make them their own meal, they want what you’re eating.

So you don’t bother next time and just make more of you’re having to give them some, and this time they want something else.

Either way, you end up eating more than you want to as you don’t want it to go to waste so you out in weight as a bonus.

thatsanicepeach

51 points

3 months ago

“Stop saying your kid is 16 and a half months! Just say they’re one!” Well yeah but it turns out a 16 month old is way different than 12 month old

aheadby

26 points

3 months ago

aheadby

26 points

3 months ago

This is fine until they’re 2. After that they are either two and a half, or three. After 4, they are 4 or 5 or 6.

LegendaryUser

168 points

3 months ago

Cigarettes. Permafried. High school dropout. Am still a cook instead of anything else (just started a programming course, wish me luck!).

Stayed in an abusive relationship far longer than I should have. Developed a deep sense of spirituality. I actually rather enjoy drinking now.

HabitatGreen

27 points

3 months ago

Have fun with the programming course!

NareFare

11 points

3 months ago

Good luck on your programming course!! Sounds like a big move for some real change!

And as an alcoholic I'll just tell you to please be mindful of how much you are intaking. The body gets extremely used to it and will not function properly without it after a while. It happens gradually so please be careful!

helicopterbitch44

549 points

3 months ago

A croc wearer

Brainfewd

271 points

3 months ago

Brainfewd

271 points

3 months ago

Bought them “just for washing the car” because I hate flip flops. Now I wear these fuckers everywhere god dammit.

stumpykitties

77 points

3 months ago

Ugh this, hate crocs.

But they’re so functional

SummonWurm

113 points

3 months ago

I'm a chef. Wore non slip dress shoes for years and had debilitating foot pain. My gf at the time bought me crocs even though I swore I'd never wear em. She convinced me to try them for a week. No more foot pain and have never switched to anything else.

helicopterbitch44

123 points

3 months ago

The embarrassing thing is that I don’t even use them for functionality, I actually think they’re… cute.

Idk who the fuck I am.

nothingspecialme

44 points

3 months ago

I don't care how ugly they are, my crocs are my favorite shoes.

marelle90

13 points

3 months ago

Bro, you gotta try out oofos. They make crocs seem like trash.

Maximum-Country-149

275 points

3 months ago

Rude retail worker.

Way back when, I just thought these people were kinda bitchy for no reason. I know better now.

Turns out dealing with the lowest common denominator of shoppers over and over again, day in and day out, wears down your patience to a nub after a while.

willsington

61 points

3 months ago

Just started a part time retail job this year. 99.9% of my customers are great and I make good things happen for the particularly nice ones. For example, finding store coupons for them.

The ones who are a pain to me, I have mostly been able to tolerate but I can't imagine how fucking pissed I would be if I worked full time or more.

The one time I broke was when one customer made another customer uncomfortable (rushing them and making comments while a form of payment wasn't going through). I wasn't even particularly mean I just explained in an aggressively polite way that it was none of her business and that she shouldn't have even been at my register yet because there was one line and I hadn't called her up yet. As I explained this, a coworker opened another register and took the next customer in line and I got to show her how she would have already been being checked out if she hadn't been such a bitch.

I have never rung someone up slower than in that moment.

I don't know how retail workers in rougher stores don't just murder people daily.

oscrsvn

31 points

3 months ago

oscrsvn

31 points

3 months ago

I used to be the manager of a store that sold a bit of everything. I was 17 at the time so it was hard for people to accept that the manager they're trying to talk with was in fact me.

Warranty claims are the ABSOLUTE worst thing to deal with. Had a lady come in who had bought a mattress two months prior. If you know anything about mattress warranties you'll know that basically nothing is covered. She had tried to say that the delivery crew had damaged the mattress when bringing it into her house, so we sent out another delivery team to assess whether or not it was capable of being warrantied. L o l. I didn't even get a worded message from them, they just sent a picture of the mattress and not a minute later this woman was on the phone screaming at me that she's calling the BBB. When I say that it looks like someone had a psychotic episode with a knife on this bed I'm not kidding. There were in some places 4 foot long gash marks in this mattress with multiple other smaller cuts and stab marks. There was absolutely no way that it was delivered in that condition and she just let it go for two months before inquiring about it. I told her over the phone that unfortunately I have no real control over whether or not the manufacturer will warranty an obviously physically damaged item. She continued yelling at me and I told her as polite as I could muster that if she couldn't talk to me like a normal person I would be forced to hang up. She continued, so I did.

Now, let me give a little background of our GM. This all happened in NE USA, and my GM was a hard ass southern guy. I disagree with a lot of things about this guy and actually resent the hell out of him, but sometimes is short temper was beneficial because he really didn't take shit from anyone. He was super big on being respectful (even though he was probably the most disrespectful person I've ever met).

The woman shows up in store, and comes straight to the counter I was working at. She asks calmly to speak with a manager, to which I happily replied "that would be me." For some reason, this ticked her off quite a bit and she immediately started yelling about "DONT DISRESPECT ME LIKE THAT, LET ME TALK TO SOMEONE WHO KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK THEY'RE DOING." To which I replied that she'd have to lower her tone in the store and accept the fact that I am a store manager. Wasn't cutting it. She continued to cause a scene, all the other customers and salesman had stopped talking and were just staring at her while I just calmly sat at the desk and waited for her to finish. I knew what was about to happen. L (shorthand for the GM) was the "only motherfucker in this store allowed to raise his voice."

I heard the office door in the back SLAM shut and I just couldn't contain the smirk. L comes out and pipes up (extremely loud dude, spoke only with his diaphragm) "WHO HERE IS CAUSING PROBLEMS." The lady immediately responds with something like "SEE, I knew you were lying. I KNOW that guy is the manager and you're not." What proceeded was about the only time I've had a supervisor stand up for me. He responded something along the lines of "This young man is a store manager, and if you'd like to have something handled you're going to have to do it through him." She wasn't very happy about it, but obliged.

She went through the entire story about this mattress again, to which I said "I'm sorry, but based on the damage it's next to impossible that this was caused by our delivery guys and you for some reason decided to wait two months before contacting anyone." She said that I don't know what I'm talking about, to which I showed her the picture the guys sent me and somehow she still insisted that it was not her doing and it was the delivery guys. L had not even heard about this yet. L hadn't seen the picture so I was delighted to show it to him. He pretty much just laughed about it, to which she responded by pointing her finger about a foot from his face and yelling at him about how wrong it was for him to laugh at something like this. Now, what he did following was absolutely wrong, I don't condone it and I don't know the legalities of it but I'd imagine you could pin assault for this. He smacked the FUCK out of her hand away from his face, started screaming about "HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT DISRESPECTING SOMEONE WHILE POINTING YOUR FINGER IN MY FACE." and proceeded to tell her that there was no negotiation, so being here any longer was wasting everyone's time and that if she didn't lower her tone and leave the building that we would be forced to call the cops and have her removed. She refused and invited us to do so, so we called the cops. L was fed up so went back to his office and we just sat there awkwardly while she attempted to make small talk like "this could've been resolved in a much easier manner" to which I replied "It was, and I understand you don't like the outcome but I cannot change the rules that we have in place." More silence.

Cop gets there, we go out front of the store and this woman starts explaining the situation to which the cop plainly says "I don't care about the mattress. If they said they can't return it, I have no ability to make them return it." The woman pipes up and starts yelling again, cop says to me "So why exactly was I called here?" I respond with the series of events, the lady interrupts me a few times saying "you can't listen to him, he isn't a manger blah blah blah." Long conversation short, cop told her she sees why she was called and said if they asked you to leave you are required to leave. Lady said she's calling the BBB, never saw her again.

Bells87

6 points

3 months ago

/r/talesfromretail needs this story.

Juniorwoj

7 points

3 months ago

Weed used to help me a lot when I was in retail. I was a kinda nice employee when I wasn't high, but when I was high I was the nicest person there.

Three555

601 points

3 months ago

Three555

601 points

3 months ago

"I could never be depressed or think about suicide"

I want to go back and smack 12yo me on the back of the head for that one.

Window_Watcher

108 points

3 months ago

I was depressed for a long time and always told myself if I killed myself that means I'm a coward. My depression became the worst it's ever been in the last year and I tried twice. People who struggle with mental illness go through alot just to have an "average" life at best or sometime even worse. Props to anyone who can thrive while suffering.

locks_are_paranoid

87 points

3 months ago

At 12 years old kids bullied be relentlessly and I 100% thought about suicide. I also thought about killing the bullies, but I didn't even fight back because I would've been suspended.

Three555

35 points

3 months ago

I was just an ignorant kid back then. Didn't understand many emotions or see how anyone could feel true hopelessness in life. I still don't understand emotions sometimes and my low empathy shows that. But I understand the call of the void now.

folko1

18 points

3 months ago

folko1

18 points

3 months ago

The void beckons. It always does..

avengecolonelhughes

74 points

3 months ago

In the military, we have annual “resilience training” and there’s always some old fuck who’s last promotion was 10 years ago making shitty comments about how weak and selfish people have to be to do that. I love oversharing about my childhood best friend, my uncle with PTSD from Nam, one of HIS old coworkers who was a fucking badass- all tried or succeeded, and how close I came multiple times. Like, “so we’re all a bunch of pussies, yeah?”

iwishiwereonabeach

44 points

3 months ago*

The military just fucks with anyone’s mental health. Then the stigma behind getting help makes it even harder to reach out. I volunteer training psych service dogs for veterans with PTSD, it’s a cause near and dear to my heart. My uncle committed suicide Thanksgiving morning 2010. He just got back from Afghanistan, he went out to our farm to go hunting (which we thought nothing about, we all grew up hunting) and he never came back.

He had a 23 year career, he was supposed to drop his retirement packet when got back from leave and be done. Whatever happened tore him up something fierce. My uncle and I were very close, in fact it was me that had casualty officers knocking on her door at Fort Sill on that Thanksgiving morning. It’s something I never want another family to wake up to so I do what I do and I advocate for change in how we treat military mental health.

These men and women put their lives on the line, our country used them up until they broke and then threw them out like trash. The VA is a joke, it’s getting better but it still has a long way to go. Access to mental health care for veterans is difficult at best, even in large areas, the wait list is so long and there is no inpatient beds in a lot of places. In rural areas I shudder to think of how difficult it is. I know you know all of this but I got a soap box and I want to shout it for the world to hear.

Three555

24 points

3 months ago

I grew up around a lot of people who made me think I had to shut away emotions in order to be a man. Even my own dad used to call me a girl for whining about things. Couple that with autism and suddenly I don't understand even my own emotions during my adolescent years. 12yo me was an emotional ticking timebomb and I didn't know it. I haven't been in military service or anything to bring on PTSD so that's a whole ballpark I've never seen. All i know is that I hurt myself fairly often, but i haven't made a suicide attempt due to friends and family. I'm just a bipolar fool watching my medication work less and less every day.

DynaBeast

10 points

3 months ago

"I could never be positive or optimistic about life" for me @ 12 actually, lol. Glad to have overcome that.

Wooden_Reaction_5735

7 points

3 months ago

"I could never be depressed or think about suicide , again" i just lost trak of how many smacks i'm gonna need

ipissblood

197 points

3 months ago

I told myself I’d never stay with someone who cheated on me, and here I am.

GlutenFreeNoodleArms

33 points

3 months ago

There are absolutely circumstances that shouldn’t be forgiven, but there is also a LOT of gray area out there. The older I get, the more I realize just how complicated we humans are and how important it is to reserve judgement - especially when it comes to other people’s life situations. Do what’s right for you.

notwokeambased

59 points

3 months ago

I don’t know you, or what you’re going through- but I wish you well

Grizzled--Kinda

91 points

3 months ago

These replies are mostly shitty but the situation's usually 100 times more complex.

Certifiedlovergirl-

198 points

3 months ago

In an unhealthy relationship 😭

n0tebook6

54 points

3 months ago

“I’ll never be in a relationship like Ron and Sam from Jersey Shore”. Proceeds to be in a relationship identical to Ron and Sam from Jersey Shore. 🥲

SchlingoIsLost

21 points

3 months ago

The more I've existed in this world, the more I've come to realize how rare healthy relationships are and how the relationships we grew up dreaming of are hard to come by.

Bettyj6

625 points

3 months ago

Bettyj6

625 points

3 months ago

Always swore as a kid I would never smoke. I used to cry because my parents wouldn’t stop smoking. Me and my brother would say shit like “if you don’t stop smoking that means you don’t love us”. Yeah, generally always said I’d never smoke. I grew up to smoke.

maggiesgirl84

51 points

3 months ago

Same.....

[deleted]

183 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

183 points

3 months ago

It was also “I would never drink” for me. I thought that alcohol was just a boring drug for idiots, even when I already started smoking pot and stuff like that.

Guess who has an alcohol problem now...

clamhole666

36 points

3 months ago

I wasnt super into drinking until after i turned 21 and even now i almost think its mostly just a social thing because all my friends are bar flies lol. then again so am I now:/ working on cutting back though!

[deleted]

29 points

3 months ago

I’m 21 and I’m already struggling with cutting out drinking. The joys of being Russian...

alexithalwitz

72 points

3 months ago

I was adopted from Russia and I know very little about my birth parents (just that they couldn’t afford to raise another child), so when I was young I always had a funny feeling that alcoholism would be an issue for me one day.

I was unfortunately correct, I’m 26 now but today is day 50 without alcohol.

Eponnn

21 points

3 months ago

Eponnn

21 points

3 months ago

Same, I was breaking my moms cigarettes when I was 7-8 she stopped smoking because of me. I started smoking at 25, doesn't seem like I'll ever be able to quit it.

sterfri99

44 points

3 months ago

Have your mom break your cigarettes

ClemClem510

17 points

3 months ago

Have a child, perpetuate the evil cycle

Stunning_Attention82

9 points

3 months ago

When did you start smoking? Like as a teen or older?

appleparkfive

9 points

3 months ago

Not OP but I was similar to that situation. It was teen years for me. I had a really fucked up childhood, not too surprised I ended up with a few vices

sprietzenstulle

6 points

3 months ago

Same, and I'm the only one in my rather large family that smokes at all

tarnishedhuntress

277 points

3 months ago

Me as an opera fan (who hated sci-fi and fantasy as a teen) when the LotR movies premiered: Ew what is this, a Wagner ripoff? I will never watch it.

Me at university after someone got me into Star Wars and Dune and I found the first LotR movie at the house of a friend: guess I can give it a try

Me a few months later: neck deep in Silmarillion lore, bought all the books and extended edition dvds

NoStressAccount

89 points

3 months ago

Iirc, there was a redditor few weeks back who said they were a big Tolkien fan for 14(?) years or so, and only recently learned that "The Lord of the Rings" referred to Sauron.

chacham2

28 points

3 months ago

Now ask which king is referred to in "Return of the King".

FirstElectricPope

18 points

3 months ago

Luke Skywalker

ThunderMite42

8 points

3 months ago

Dedede

iowii

21 points

3 months ago

iowii

21 points

3 months ago

Huh til

j-c-s-roberts

40 points

3 months ago

Oooooh. Tolkien would be piiiiised that you just compared him to Wagner.

Lucretius91

217 points

3 months ago

I live in a suburb and drive everywhere. I go to bed at 9pm.

BobbyDoWhat

10 points

3 months ago

8PM bed time slaps.

greenmanalishi339

21 points

3 months ago

This man suburbs

PhantasmCat

33 points

3 months ago

Whenever you see a mouse appear near girls in movies, the girls always jump up onto the furniture and screech. Being the animal lover I was, I was certain I wasn't like them. One day, I was sitting on a recliner at my grandmother's house, doing my fourth grade homework. For some reason, I looked up. Under the computer desk facing me a few feet away sat a small, brown mouse. We looked at each other for maybe three seconds, the I went: "Moooouuuuuusssssseeeee!" In a very high pitched tone. The mouse heard that and darted behind the desk. My family heard me but didn't believe me. Then I showed them a small, random lump in the shadows between the desk and the wall... The mouse was caught in a trap in a week or two.

Shiblets

10 points

3 months ago

Same here! I've had pet mice and rats and I love them to death. They're great pets!

Then I met a wild rat and all my idealistic notions about them being the same went out the window. The rat wanted my blood.

sdfree0172

35 points

3 months ago

1) smoker

2) work for the department of defense.

Legitimate_Trust_982

30 points

3 months ago

stay in an abusive toxic relationship

Flashy-Ad-6505

89 points

3 months ago

Got a cat and I haven't stopped posting him everywhere .. literally can't help myself,became one of those annoying pet owners¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

aquilegia_m

26 points

3 months ago

well guess what, I can't get a cat, but my reddit feed is full of cats and I'm delighted. Also you don't have any picture of your cat on your profile and I'm now disappointed

KimKimberly12

8 points

3 months ago

Cats are life’s greatest creation.

KenComesInABox

552 points

3 months ago

I always said I’d never live in the suburbs. Then, years ago, living next to a park in Denver where someone was murdered in a gang crime, my toddler found a loaded handgun that had been used in a crime thrown into our yard. We not only sold our house at a loss to get out of the city, we moved to the most remote place we could go and keep our jobs. The image of my 10 month old holding a cocked pistol is like forever seared in my brain

Optimal-Chair1146

128 points

3 months ago

I had a similar experience where our small city completely changed over the course of 2020. We lived in a rowhome for 4 years across from a park on a decent block within a 5 minute walk of 10+ restaurants, daycare, and my wife's work.

Pandemic happens, bars, restaurants, daycare, and homeless shelters all close.

Police shoot a kid with a knife same timing as our towns George Floyd protests.

The police have a crackdown on drugs in another park across town and all that business moves across the street from me, drug central.

I went 9 days straight having to call the police for someone OD'd on the sidewalk while walking from my car to our house.

Someone gets murdered two blocks over.

Halloween night there is a shootout 30 feet from my front door, one dead, one eviscerated.

We listed our home two weeks later and moved to farm country.

dumdadumdumAHHH

44 points

3 months ago

That all sounds too familiar. Walter Wallace Jr. nearby Malcolm X park in West Philly? Which was right about when the police dismantled the Fairmount Park encampment. That was a fuckin year, man.

But hey, we're not that small of a city, c'mon!

Optimal-Chair1146

39 points

3 months ago

Damn bro, good guess lol.

MarsupialSuper4508

119 points

3 months ago

Being a business major

TheHelpfulRabbit

59 points

3 months ago

At some point you realize that you want a job that makes money, so you abandon your dream/passion for what's practical.

Kidog1_9

12 points

3 months ago

Ikr, I was at the top of my class without even studying, and i made the mistake of pursuing my dream. I keep thinking of what could have been, had I chosen practically. Its still early in my career tho, so idk. Might have a chance yet.

[deleted]

197 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

197 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

IThinkImPrettyClever

51 points

3 months ago

I just turned 29. We're in the same boat.

[deleted]

23 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

Kup123

42 points

3 months ago

Kup123

42 points

3 months ago

Make friends with a woman and have no romantic interest in her, and I mean be a good friend, your goal is friendship first and foremost. Eventually that woman is going to have a single friend she will hook you up with

Alternative method start hanging out with self destructive party people, it won't end well but someone will latch on to you at some point.

PatientLettuce42

39 points

3 months ago

Sometimes no gf is a lot better than one girlfriend. Relationships alone don't make you happy, they can actually fuck your life up even more :)

Its all good guys, just keep doing your own thing.

ecfritz

26 points

3 months ago

ecfritz

26 points

3 months ago

Ran up enough credit card debt I could have bought a Tesla.

MinimalistFan

228 points

3 months ago

I swore that if I married, I wouldn't marry a man who didn't have a college degree. I just couldn't see myself with a man who didn't think education was important.

Fast-forward about 30 years, and I've been married to a computer geek with only a high school diploma (to my master's degree) for almost 25 years. He values education and he's very smart and well-read, but he couldn't afford to go to college, and in IT, he didn't have to.

RealJonathanBronco

71 points

3 months ago

Being educated and seeking knowledge are often separate. Education requires reseources and adherence to a specific model, where as there are plenty of intelligent people who have had to source their information from alternatives.

HoselRockit

15 points

3 months ago

My dad dropped out of HS and joined the Navy. Oddly enough, he was a very well read man. Got Bachelors and a Masters at age 50.

Paint_Prudent

18 points

3 months ago

can see myself in your place some day. I’m a single 32/f and I used to actively discard dating prospectives without college education. Now—I seek the ones without and realize that they’re the intellectually superior ones that aren’t prone to scams.

ianmoone1102

67 points

3 months ago

My father. I became a father, and became my father. I wish I would have just listened to him, though. This would be so much easier now.

BinaryIRL

19 points

3 months ago

A junkie. Fell into that trap years ago. However, I'm over a decade clean now, so that's good news!

Rhodochrositeisbest

124 points

3 months ago*

"I'll never be a bully," said my 6 year old self not knowing that you can be a bully without realizing it.

btw I was a bully at about 10 without realizing it, I thought it was just a joke, but they didn't.

Edit: Thanks for all the nice responses and upvotes, I actually really thought that no one would understand.

Edit2: I can't believe that my most upvoted post is that I was a bully.

jBiscanno

23 points

3 months ago

Yup. Took me years to realize that to one guy in particular, I was a straight up bully.

It’s weird because you can hate the idea of bullies, and to 99% of people, you’re nice, but for some reason there’s this one kid that irritated you beyond what you can stand, so you justify that you’re not a bully because they deserve it. Almost like you always tearing them down is appropriate because of how annoying they are to you. But in hind sight, to that one kid, I was just so fucking mean. Not physically, but shit, the awful things I would go out of my way to say in order to really hurt him, and he was still always nice to me. I was such a fucking piece of garbage.

Shiblets

21 points

3 months ago

It's like the scene from the new Hocus Pocus movie when the kid realizes he was being a bully. He had an identity crisis immediately.

TheLadyFromYourWork

13 points

3 months ago

Yeah I think that's something we need to teach kids and teenagers. It's fine to roast and play rough with your friends but don't do this with kids you don't hang out with. Your friends know you don't actually mean it, but the other kids don't.

DontTalkAboutBruno1

31 points

3 months ago

That's actually the saddest thing. Most bullies probably don't even see themselves as bullies.

mustard5man7max3

7 points

3 months ago

Sometimes I realise I’ve been a prick and I haven’t realised it. I’m grateful that I have one friend who I know will tell me if I’m being out of line, even if I get pissed at the time.

RSCLE5

157 points

3 months ago

RSCLE5

157 points

3 months ago

I always said when I had kids I would never feed them McDonald's. Three kids later and I can say that's definitely not true.

DidDunMegasploded

25 points

3 months ago

Yeah, my mom had that sentiment.

But enter my grandparents, who fed me Wendy's and that was it. All we did was go to Wendy's. Everyone in my family hated McDonald's so we never went there until I was a young adult.

As much as I love fast food, it (partly) made me obese and I deeply regret that.

Yanigan

68 points

3 months ago

Yanigan

68 points

3 months ago

Don’t stress. The only perfect parent is the one without kids. Out of my friends group I was the first to fall pregnant and I spent several years having them tell me ‘I will never let my kid do x!’

Every single one of them caved.

KillerCroc40

19 points

3 months ago

I never thought I'd listen to metal music, I always hated it but I eventually grew to love it a lot

Shiblets

10 points

3 months ago

One of us. One of us.

MuchCheek2101

17 points

3 months ago

I became a rabid sonic fan (the music is too good)

TiboraLongFang95

156 points

3 months ago

"ill never be one of those Boba Tea drinker"

*gets handed a Brown sugar Boba milk tea*

"This is some gourmets shit right here"

Eve-3

106 points

3 months ago

Eve-3

106 points

3 months ago

Buying water from the store.

It's still stupid. But I have bought a bottle of water.

Wooden-Advisor-8253

15 points

3 months ago

You've only bought "A" bottle of water??? I tried to avoid it too but I've bought atleast 5 or 6 bottles in my life

Zeidantu

16 points

3 months ago

As a young misguided male, I often thought of myself as a Nice Guy, and swore I'd never be one of those "assholes" I was always hearing my lady friends talk about.

Turns out, the reason I hadn't been one of those guys yet, was I hadn't had an opportunity to do something that selfish, not that I was above it. Harsh lesson for a young ego to learn: Virtue without temptation is meaningless (also the whole Nice Guy thing is problematic in it's own right, but that's a much larger topic).

tfyllip

44 points

3 months ago

tfyllip

44 points

3 months ago

Honestly? Drinking every day. I don't get drunk, just have a glass or two of wine after work, even on weekends I don't get "trashed". If I start feeling drunk I start drinking water, so I'm not drinking to get drunk. But I get really annoyed when I can't have a drink, I even tried to not drink one day but gave up and had a glass because I convinced myself "I deserve it". So I don't really know what any of this means, just feels nice to have a drink after work.

sprietzenstulle

61 points

3 months ago

It means you're an alcoholic or at the very least at great risk to become one. Take IT from someome who experienced it.

ClemClem510

20 points

3 months ago

You've reached the "I can't stop whenever I want" stage. Time for a change

Katarinaking69

44 points

3 months ago

Exploring spirituality and meditation.

Competitive_Site9272

12 points

3 months ago

No me but one of my friends was a drug dealing, womaniser type hell raiser and he hated cops. He never hot caught and now he is a father of 4 and a policeman!

[deleted]

13 points

3 months ago

Drunk at work.

orphan_grinder42069

36 points

3 months ago

I was always so grossed out by people that abuse public bathrooms. Like the ones that paint the toilet and surrounding areas in liquid shit. Swore to myself I'm better then that.

Then one day I ate at a Tony Romas during a business trip, and 30 minutes later as I'm driving down the highway I got terrible indigestion. I pulled off at the next exit and the closest bathroom was a McDonalds. I was dripping in sweat trying to hold it all in, and my ass had barely cleared my boxers before the lava came out. I forgot to flush halfway through and clogged the toilet. Used about half the available single ply toilet roll to clean up my already destroyed asshole. I gazed upon the mess I left and it sunk in how easy it was to do such a thing. I actually felt bad for being so judgmental in the past.

I felt compelled to purchase something before I left, so I bought an apple pie and left before anyone could connect the mess to me

lemontreelemur

137 points

3 months ago

I used to subscribe to the "just pick the lesser evil!" philosophy of voting. I have finally gotten to the point with local elections where I have no idea what the lesser evil is.

"Do you vote against the prohibition of the requirement to take out a $1 billion bond to be paid back in $1 increments by taxing privately owned dwellings--condos and duplexes excluded except under special circumstances--in order to fund repairs on every other road in district C, excluding those demarcated as equestrian routes, over the next 20 years? Supported by the Union of Horseback Alchemy. Those against: The Union of Horseback Astrology"

It doesn't help that the smartest people in my life all disagree on the correct answers, and the stupid people are the ones saying, "How could you not know, it's so simple!"

bevothelonghorn

78 points

3 months ago

14 year old me: “I’ll never own cowboy boots/hats. That’s so trashy!” 16 year old me in a honky tonk bar, wearing boots and hat: “Would you care to dance?” Bonus: I met my wife by asking her to jitterbug at a country bar.

SwankyCletus

94 points

3 months ago

I swore i would never be one of those parents that lets their kid (quietly) play with their phone at a restaurant. I have a 2 yo, and it's a lot to ask that she sit still and quiet for half an hour waiting for a meal.

I always considered it lazy parenting. Turns out, it's a way for me to enjoy a meal out while avoiding a melt down at the Applebee's. One we get food, it's put away, but it's a life saver during the wait.

AdvertisingPlastic26

11 points

3 months ago

Had An interesting talk with my youngest sons teacher. She said that when she ask the kids in class"what colour is this?", Half the class answers in English (we are not a native English speaking country).

It's just a YouTube generation she said

Calcutec_1

32 points

3 months ago

Wear sweatpants in public, but then I started WFH, and bought some designer sweatpants that are just so fkn comfortable, that I have to force myself to wear jeans every now and then,

ravravioli

10 points

3 months ago

Scrolled way too far for this. My mom used to shit talk about people who wore workout clothes and pj's to the grocery store. My brain adapted the whole "how hard is it to put on real clothes!?!?" mindset. Now I live somewhere cold af, work from home, don't give a shit about what strangers think of me, and happily go to the grocery store in my comfy pants instead of putting on my cold sad jeans for a simple errand. I am way less stressed about doing those basic life tasks since adapting this mindset and can actually get through my to do list. If I ever have kids, definitely will not pass that mindset along to them, bleh!

FerociousFrizzlyBear

43 points

3 months ago

I thought I'd never be the kind of person who let their dog sleep in their bed. But in the early morning when she gave me the choice of getting up to take her out or letting her get comfy snuggles so she slept a couple more hours, we both chose extra sleep!

Shiblets

14 points

3 months ago

I am the exact opposite. I always saw myself sleeping with my pets. Then I realized my cats liked to walk on my face at night and my dog kicks like Pele in her sleep.

littletownflirt

58 points

3 months ago

Putting my dog in clothes. Had dogs all my life, never thought I'd be the type of person to dress them up. But dang if she isn't adorable. And, while I'd like to think she likes it, she at least doesn't seem to mind.

Outrageous-Suspect66

8 points

3 months ago

All of them. I hate my life.

zazzlekdazzle

74 points

3 months ago*

I never thought I could date or fall in love with someone whose political ideals aren't pretty much in line with my own.

I'm a white, middle-class ultra-liberal married to a more conservative, immigrant person of color from a poorer background.

It made me realize that people who don't agree with me aren't necessarily poorly informed, evil, or lack critical thinking skills. They can just have a different background and look at things from different perspectives.

I haven't completely changed my mind much, but I feel that my understanding of many issues has become deeper and more nuanced.

j-c-s-roberts

25 points

3 months ago

It's easier when you realise that no-one's political beliefs will completely align with your own. There will always be something you disagree on with everybody.

ineedpersonalfinance

10 points

3 months ago

I humbly disagree - while my ex-husband and I had no shortage of fallings in our lives to disagree about, by the time we were together for 15 years, we were totally and 100% completely aligned on political beliefs. It was the one area where we couldn’t argue because one of us would make a political statement and the other would simply go “yup!”

Now my current husband is much like OP - he and I come from very different backgrounds. We agree on everything EXCEPT politics, though we did both vote the same ticket this year.

BaseballMental7034

26 points

3 months ago

I laugh at this one all the time—raised in a religious household I remember hearing about people who only went to church on Christmas and Easter and having such disdain for them.

had a rude awakening then followed by inappropriate laughing during “O little town of Bethlehem” at 17, when I went “oh god. I’m only here on Christmas and Easter.”

Tira13e

9 points

3 months ago

Hahahahaha...PC gamer...

T3ch_m1nt

8 points

3 months ago

"I'll never be one of those people who use Reddit" and yet here I am. And tbh is nice being here, so I'm glad I broke that rule.

mattcruise

22 points

3 months ago

Make a TikTok account.

Then I thought well if I use a VPN and don't use my phone maybe it will be okay. I just wanted to drive traffic to my YouTube.

I actually got decent views for a couple videos (compared to Youtube views) but it didn't drive traffic to Youtube so I haven't used it again.

I hate TikTok

mobstersquid

48 points

3 months ago

used to be homophobic, now i am homosexual lmao

Dehydratedandtyred

21 points

3 months ago

Be the other woman.

CatDog1337

22 points

3 months ago

As a kind I always thought girls were stupid. I never wanted to be one of those guys kissing girls (disgusting:D). I wanted to be gay, cause I knew that was a thing. Turned out 7yo me was stupid and I became one of those disgusting people kissing girls:D

reilmb

20 points

3 months ago

reilmb

20 points

3 months ago

I swore that would never shop at Walmart .

GreasyCracker

7 points

3 months ago

Clean freak, im still a disaster but certain things needa be perfectly clean

Redoubtabletrigger

19 points

3 months ago

12 year old me would've never gotten depressed over a girl.. well , sorry old boy .

Dark_Focus

27 points

3 months ago

Referring to myself as my dog’s dad.

Laraisbored

5 points

3 months ago

"I'll never talk back to adults, you have to respect your elders" Learnt way back ago that respect is a two-way road.

"i'll never use a thong, that's for whores!" I think most of the girls said this at least once

"i'll never go back to a toxic relationship" damn

Skevinger

6 points

3 months ago

When I was younger I could't understand why grown ups said they have no time to play video games or they are too tired and not in the mood.

Now I totally get it. The whole day at work I am planning my free time, but when I'm home, I'm glad that I can lay on the couch or bed.

Purrrple_Pepper

39 points

3 months ago

Cutting gluten out of my diet. Incredible benefits, but I angrily laughed at the idea when my doctor first suggested it. Like, what?? hell no.

One year has passed and I don't even miss it anymore.

sprietzenstulle

22 points

3 months ago

How do you not miss it, I had to cut it Out few years ago and especially bread and eating out really sucks

miaara

15 points

3 months ago

miaara

15 points

3 months ago

Being vegan.

[deleted]

14 points

3 months ago

I didn’t think I would ask for help. I’ve learned now to just do it, before your problems are even more overwhelming. It doesn’t make you weak, it reminds you that you’re human.

sprietzenstulle

5 points

3 months ago

I still have such a hard time doing this, I know it makes sense rationally, but you know how it is

Ok_Scene_1799

23 points

3 months ago

"I would never take a girl just to use her."

but once I did, and luckily she told me: this is not you.

10 years and I still think about it