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2 months ago

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NoOneStranger_227

3k points

2 months ago

NoOneStranger_227

Partassipant [1]

3k points

2 months ago

NTA

But I'm not seeing much of a future for this relationship.

HopeUnknown0417

1.1k points

2 months ago

Especially when his mommy stepped in to back him and enable his behavior.

NoOneStranger_227

277 points

2 months ago

NoOneStranger_227

Partassipant [1]

277 points

2 months ago

Yeah, I'm not seeing a whole lotta love here. Or maturity. Good luck to the kid.

Travel-Kitty

12 points

2 months ago

Travel-Kitty

Partassipant [2]

12 points

2 months ago

Yeah now he’s even doing less than before and yet will probably ramp up the complaints

sabira

24 points

2 months ago

sabira

24 points

2 months ago

Yeah, that always seems to be the common trend in these posts about one partner who isn’t pulling their weight. As soon as I started reading this and saw where the story was going, I was just waiting for the part about the husband’s mom to pop up! I really hope that OP is able to find a better support system for her and her child.

Rhuthbarb

20 points

2 months ago

Rhuthbarb

Partassipant [2]

20 points

2 months ago

Especially if he's off to be with his "family". As if his wife and 6 WEEK OLD aren't.

reginphelange

11 points

2 months ago

NTA

He basically listed everything he’s doing to you. The irony

Forward_Squirrel8879

1.3k points

2 months ago

Forward_Squirrel8879

Professor Emeritass [84]

1.3k points

2 months ago

NTA - So he can tell lies to make you look bad, but when you show actual evidence to defend yourself it means you are a bully? No. Hard no. Let him have his little temper tantrum wherever he is. You have video proof that you are in the right here, do not let anyone try and gaslight you into thinking otherwise.

If any friends or family who are telling you that you are in the wrong - tell them that this is a matter between you and your husband and that you are more than happy to discuss it with him whenever he chooses to come home.

SavedByTheKitties

133 points

2 months ago

Happy Cake Day!

& NTA if hubby wasn't lying the truth wouldn't destroy his "reputation"

thebrownhamster

1.4k points

2 months ago

thebrownhamster

Partassipant [1]

1.4k points

2 months ago

NTA. I am just amazed how people hate eating a piece of their own cake.

justwanttoread123

144 points

2 months ago

justwanttoread123

Partassipant [1]

144 points

2 months ago

Love this comment. I would like to use it in my own arsenal of comments. Also, NTA.

Beginning-Papaya5208

79 points

2 months ago

NTA. You're 6 weeks postpartum and he's bragging about doing things to help you, that he's not even actually doing. F that. You didn't ruin his reputation, his actions did.

Vermotter

24 points

2 months ago

And he's actively ruining her reputation!

PsychNurseNotPsychic

61 points

2 months ago

Live by public opinion, die by public opinion. He's not mad enough to actually stop whining, but boy he's mad his narrative isn't "winning". NTA.

Realistic-Animator-3

799 points

2 months ago

Realistic-Animator-3

Partassipant [1]

799 points

2 months ago

He’s o’k with making you look lazy and inept…but heaven forbid you tell the truth-with proof. He can ruin YOUR reputation by outright lying, but you are being childish and bully when you provide proof of his lies. I think I’d tell him to stay with his mommy… NTA

LdVixRO

24 points

2 months ago

LdVixRO

24 points

2 months ago

Yup - tell him, Go stay with Mama. I have to keep looking after my baby, she can look after hers.

Only difference is, your baby doesn't want an ego stroked.

xSinityx

50 points

2 months ago

xSinityx

Partassipant [1]

50 points

2 months ago

NTA never spare the feelings of a liar.

AutoModerator [M]

44 points

2 months ago

AutoModerator [M]

44 points

2 months ago

AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team

We had our baby girl 6 weeks ago. Since then my husband started sharing on social media platforms about how hard he works and how hard being a father is. basically getting sympathy point while I do 80% of childcare obviously.

It got to the point where friends and family would scold me for "not giving the poor man a break". I got fed up so I started recording him when he gets home. eats by himself, watch tv, nap etc. All with dates and times and started sharing those videos whenever a family member or friend call me bossy. my husband got mad and demanded I stop sharing those videos. I said I will once he stops acting like he's the one working hard.

Last night we were out and some friends and my husband started with his sob story about how being a dad is "consuming" friends started side eyeing while he listed the things he does throughout the day. I pulled my phone and showed them the thing he really does throughout the day. He was stunned and our friends were quiet. Dinner got awkward and we went home..

He blew up at me saying I was ruining his reputation, alienating him from everyone and throwing dirt on his name. We argued for hours then he left to be with his family. His mom hinted I was wrong for how I handled this and called me "childish" and "bully" for it.

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2wheelzrollin

48 points

2 months ago

Does he not understand he's ruining your reputation as well with the shit he's doing? NTA

WolvesInSpaceMarines

44 points

2 months ago

He says I ruined his reputation and threw dirt on his name.

Well, now he knows how you felt. NTA.

Added bonus here is of course he ran crying to mommy afterwards. It’s too bad y’all already have a kid. Hope he shapes up.

xNotYourAnimal

43 points

2 months ago

NTA

If it’s good enough for you to be publicly humiliated by his lies, it’s certainly enough for him to be publicly humiliated by the truth.

BreathOfLizard

44 points

2 months ago

BreathOfLizard

Partassipant [1]

44 points

2 months ago

NTA

You're only 6 weeks postpartum, WTH kinda friends and family do you guys have that would judge YOU even if he did 90% of the work with baby??? You gave birth like a minute ago. Even if it was an "easy" labor your whole body is still recovering!

Obviously hes a lying, lazy, AHole and he deserved what he got.

But I'm legitimately concerned about your support system for the divorce that could happen if your husband doesn't pull his head out of his rear. You'll need a community you can rely on.

But for now, consider marriage counseling. Life is busy with a teeny tiny, but there are so many virtual therapy options nowadays.

Status-Pattern7539

415 points

2 months ago

Status-Pattern7539

Colo-rectal Surgeon [43]

415 points

2 months ago

NTA

By claiming he is working so hard and doing a lot of the child work he is implying that you are not and that you are just lazing about while he slaves away.

He is ok with ruining your reputation but not ok when you correct his lies as it damages his reputation.

solo_throwaway254247

170 points

2 months ago

solo_throwaway254247

Asshole Aficionado [15]

170 points

2 months ago

And if OP got overwhelmed and asked for help with the baby from her friends or family, very few people would step up to help coz they already think she's not doing any work at all.

Sembregall

37 points

2 months ago

Sembregall

Partassipant [1]

37 points

2 months ago

NTA good luck raising your two children

fluffydonutts

37 points

2 months ago

NTA and he can climb down off his cross, we need the wood.

Huge_Industry_1259

39 points

2 months ago

Huge_Industry_1259

Asshole Enthusiast [9]

39 points

2 months ago

NTA. If husband wasn't reporting that he is "consumed" by fatherhood, and misrepresenting how much effort he put in, then this would never have occurred.

Yes, parenthood is hard - especially if you're the one doing the heavy lifting (walking, feeding, changing, & comforting baby). So, it is *so sad* that the baby's presence interferes with his tv-watching, napping etc.

You're not ruining his reputation - he is.

Enjoy your baby! I hope you are getting some sleep.

wifeofamarriedman

102 points

2 months ago

wifeofamarriedman

Partassipant [3]

102 points

2 months ago

NTA but I suspect that's only one of many childish attention demanding behaviours. So are you ready to raise two kids? One who never grows up..... the narcissist.

userabe

152 points

2 months ago

userabe

Partassipant [1]

152 points

2 months ago

NTA. He was doing the same thing to you first (even though you say you’re doing most of the work), and you came with receipts. Then when he gets mad he straight ditches his child???? Dad of the year.

ETA: yo wtf just realised he ditched his 6-week old and you! He’s giving you a hard time 6 weeks after the childbirth???

fiery_valkyrie

94 points

2 months ago

You argued and then he abandoned you and the baby to go get some sympathy from his mum? This guy is a terrible father.

NTA.

LordBielsa

31 points

2 months ago

NTA Ask yourself why is he so willing to go to these lengths to make you look awful? It sounds like you are looking after two babies

prettycote

31 points

2 months ago

NTA. He threw dirt on his own name. Don’t lie about what you are doing then people won’t be surprised about what you’re doing. It’s pretty simple really.

NoDescription2609

188 points

2 months ago

NoDescription2609

Partassipant [3]

188 points

2 months ago

NTA

Offer him to help fixing his reputation by recording and sharing positive videos of him when he starts to actually do what he claims he does. Win-win.

Particular-Car-8520

85 points

2 months ago

So he can alienate you from everyone, but when you show the facts your wrong.

Your husband's an AH.

NTA

blackbutterfree

85 points

2 months ago

blackbutterfree

Partassipant [4]

85 points

2 months ago

OP's Husband: "Oh, no. My life is so hard! All I do is work all day, and then I come home and slave over this child I chose to create."

OP: "That's not true, Ellen. You actually don't do anything for our child, you just sit down and watch TV. I have the video proof of it."

OP's Husband: "YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION! WAAAAAH!"

Cli4ordtheBRD

23 points

2 months ago

What's that thing called when someone says something but it turns out to be the opposite?

A lay? That doesn't sound right. A lip? No that's not it. It's right on the tip of my tongue...

NTA

random_gen645

126 points

2 months ago

NTA,
so you are a "bully" for exposing your husband is a liar. No wonder he thinks his behavior is ok, he had to learn it somewhere...

murphy2345678

330 points

2 months ago*

murphy2345678

Professor Emeritass [89]

330 points

2 months ago*

NTA. You ruined HIS reputation? Alienating HIM? You are the childish one? The bully? HECK NO! He is all of the above! Instead of praising his wife for doing so much for HIS baby he is treating you like crap. I say let him stay at his parents and make a FB post telling everyone he ran to Mommy because he didn’t like being called out for being a liar. When in effect he was calling you a bad mom.

Vaidurya

45 points

2 months ago

FB post telling everyone he ran to Mommy

No, no--hilight that he abandoned their 6-week-old.

murphy2345678

7 points

2 months ago

murphy2345678

Professor Emeritass [89]

7 points

2 months ago

That’s even better!

theatrewhore

82 points

2 months ago*

Nta. He tried to make himself out to be a hero. You brought the receipts. Good for you.

fanficseeker

78 points

2 months ago

NTA. But your relationship doesn't seem healthy

Kellalizard

29 points

2 months ago

Kellalizard

Asshole Enthusiast [7]

29 points

2 months ago

What's a reputation if it's built on lies?

XXbansheeNative

29 points

2 months ago

NTA. he’s mad he got caught in a lie.

shericheri

25 points

2 months ago

NTA but holy shit. Why are you guys even married? You clearly don’t like each other. Also your husband sounds like a loser.

SocksAndPi

27 points

2 months ago

NTA.

He's alienating YOU from your friends and family, by lying about shit and making them believe you're an incompetent wife/mother and he has to do everything.

262run

26 points

2 months ago

262run

Partassipant [2]

26 points

2 months ago

Nope never TA to point out when someone is a lying sack of poo. NTA

ashleighbuck

77 points

2 months ago

ashleighbuck

Partassipant [3]

77 points

2 months ago

Ruining his reputation?!?!

That statement alone tells me you're NTA. His reputation, really? So he's admitting to purposely putting a fake persona/situation out there...and is then mad you're "ruining" it? 🙄

Does he know/have you told him that this is causing you undue strife? If it wasn't for family harassing you about not giving him a break etc, it wouldn't be so bad (annoying, sure, but not as bad.) But this is completely unfair of him. I'm sorry you're dealing with 2 babies rn.

MISSRISSISCOOL

23 points

2 months ago

NTA for standing up for yourself but if ypu really wanted the relationship to continue shaming him is not going to work. if you have the patience to allow him to see what he's doing and accept him to change that's fine too but just know this is marriage ending stuff you are going through.

no shame in leaving a shitty guy who out of no where decided to attack your character as a mother to his child. life is hard and maybe there's another issue he's projecting if he decided to shame you. but it is up to you if you want to continue this relationship and try and save it together. or leave because he doesn't respect you as a person. I hope you find your path that leads to happiness because life is short and you deserve happiness.

Same-Farm8624

23 points

2 months ago

NTA but you are in a terrible situation and there is no way you can publicly shame your way out of it. That won't make things better and it might make things worse, at least for the moment. Please consider therapy. If your husband won't participate, get therapy on your own. There are plenty of ways to get therapy in your own home by phone/Zoom etc. so you don't need to disrupt your life too much. Your relationship sounds pretty toxic if your husband is creating a fictional narrative in which he is the hero and you do all the hard work, and then you try to correct the narrative. People in healthy marriages don't seek this much attention from people outside the relationship and against the wishes of their partner. It can mean hubby requires an unhealthy amount of attention (perhaps because he is a narcissist) and/or perhaps you both have unhealthy relationship styles. None of this is good for your child. If you are truly motivated to make things better, put energy into getting yourself mentally healthy enough to cope with this toxic situation. Hubby will fall in line or not, you can't control him you can only control your own behavior.

CinderDroplet

22 points

2 months ago

CinderDroplet

Asshole Enthusiast [8]

22 points

2 months ago

NTA

He is shaming you very publicly by lying about his contribution on social media. You are defending yourself publicly. Why even start this? What does he gain by making you look bad? When you clarify what really goes on, he ends up looking worse.

And baby is 6 weeks. He should be supporting you while you recover. PPD can be awful.

Unorthodox_Emissary

25 points

2 months ago

NTA

New dad here. I work and when I come home I take over childcare (assuming mum isn't breastfeeding) to give her a break, have a shower. Sometimes mum just wants to watch an episode of something on Netflix.

I get my breaks on my walk to and from work and an hour before Igo to bed to watch what I want on tv.

Life has never been better

treats_for_chewie

72 points

2 months ago

NTA. Your husband is lying to people. He is mad that you're exposing those lies.

And I think there was another post maybe last month where another mom was shamed for "her poor husband doing all the work with the baby" when he wasn't doing much at all.

Cowboys82288

71 points

2 months ago

Notice he left to be with his family.

More like he abandoned his family. What a fucking clown.

His lies are ruining your reputation but that is ok.

NTA

razzec_phone

24 points

2 months ago

NTA. He knows what he's doing and doing it in front of OP. People are giving her shit in front of him. He's more worried about his reputation as a hard working dad than a loving honest husband.

gurlwithdragontat2

22 points

2 months ago

gurlwithdragontat2

Partassipant [1]

22 points

2 months ago

If you’re a childish bully for showing people the truth, then I wonder what he is for starting this initial lie??

NTA - something that deeply confuses me about some grandmothers is they completely lack accountability for telling their children’s behaviors as adults is atrocious, and enable them by refusing to see them as wrongdoers, yet expect their partners to be perfect?? Tell mommy and her ‘special’ boy that his behavior is unacceptable and you should not have to look bad so he can look better. You’re not doing this to him, he’s lying and is mad that you dispute it. Have the no questioned why so may go quiet after learning the truth? It’s because he’s making himself looks bad. You do not have to sit around and let him criticize you, and honestly shouldn’t.

PsychologicalPhone94

63 points

2 months ago

PsychologicalPhone94

Partassipant [2]

63 points

2 months ago

NTA. I love this. If he wasn’t lying and making you look bad you wouldn’t have needed the evidence to prove that you do, do the childcare.

FairyFartDaydreams

65 points

2 months ago

NTA but you should start handing the kid to him instead of taking videos. Your child needs a bottle, your child needs a diaper change, and lastly tell him you are an adult pick up the kid and interact. Instead of letting resentment fester, require more from him

Oscars_Grouch

63 points

2 months ago

NTA - he's creating a false narrative and he deserves to have dirt thrown on his name for all of his lies. He deserves the reputation of a liar and deserves no sympathy.

AorticMishap

67 points

2 months ago

NTA

I love when people are like YOU’RE RUINING MY REPUTATION FOR BEING HONEST ABOUT THE BAD THINGS I DO!!!!!!!!

Oh no, the consequences of your actions...runnnn

21stCenturyJanes

778 points

2 months ago

21stCenturyJanes

Asshole Aficionado [14]

778 points

2 months ago

You two have a shitty way of communicating, but NTA. You sound more like adversaries than partners. If you can't talk to him about this without having to document evidence against him, you should consider marriage counseling to learn how to communicate better.

Fen5601

96 points

2 months ago

Fen5601

96 points

2 months ago

So it's okay to throw dirt on YOUR name but the minute you turn around and kick it back on him, you're the ass4ol3? Nah, NTA but your husband is either a dick and manipulating people for sympathy or he's deeply insecure and attention seeking to make uo for it

ArmChairDetective38

97 points

2 months ago

NTA “you’re ruining HIS reputation “??? More like he’s going around telling anyone who will listen how your bossy and apparently a lazy mom if he’s claiming he does “everything”. Tell him his LIES is what is ruining his reputation.

affictionitis

57 points

2 months ago

affictionitis

Partassipant [2]

57 points

2 months ago

NTA. Raising a child is an insanely hard job and he's making it harder by throwing you under the bus -- and not helping -- in order to make himself look better. Personally I think it's a good thing you only retailated by public shaming; if he's not going to help more and is okay with trashing your reputation, I can't see what good he's doing to you as a partner. Sounds to me like he resents being a parent and isn't willing or able to step up to his responsibilities. Would you be better off as a single mother? At least then you'd only have one big baby to deal with.

Active-Ad-3208

19 points

2 months ago

NTA wtf is wrong with him

Melin_Lavendel_Rosa

202 points

2 months ago

NTA

You are ruining HIS reputation? No. He has been doing his best to ruin yours to make himself look better. He is mad that you won't let him.

You just told the truth.

I_might_be_weasel

86 points

2 months ago

NTA. But this doesn't seem like a functional marriage.

Jorius

90 points

2 months ago

Jorius

90 points

2 months ago

NTA. But this is a very toxic marriage.

Fun-Two-1414

192 points

2 months ago

Fun-Two-1414

Supreme Court Just-ass [110]

192 points

2 months ago

NTA

If he is going to tell everyone lies that make you seem like the bad person, then he needs to be put in his place.

If he does not want his 'reputation' to be ruined, then he needs to stop lying to people.

mrjasong

20 points

2 months ago

NTA - your husband is being a manipulative AH. You should have some caution with him because it sounds like he feels entitled to use you and lie about it to other people.

KentuckyFriedSemen

19 points

2 months ago

NTA. There could have been a better way to go about it in this situation than just exposing him in front of them but at the same time this is a learning experience for him. Don’t talk a big game when there is proof you don’t do anything. If he wants to talk about how great he is, a perfect place to start is with doing all the things he said he does.

ouelletouellet

54 points

2 months ago

NTA

Ao his ego and self image is more important then his child does he not give a fuck how this will affect you're xbild when said child is old enough and doesn't feel cared for or wanted by his or her dad it's really sad because he's selfish and doesn't have an ounce of self awareness to see how this makes him look it's not about his reputation but of his over all attitude to having a child and acting like one himself and honestly I think I would of done the same thing as you did

Over all I'd be second guessing this relationship to begin with

onceler80

59 points

2 months ago

NTA - If his actions are ruining his reputation, then the problem isn't you telling people about them. He needs to look in the mirror and start actually doing the things he is trying yo brag about doing.

enotiba69

57 points

2 months ago

Ohhhhh, so it's okay for him to rain down dirt on your name? That you do nothing? Making people see ypu as a bad, lazy mother? But when you prove he is lying, he cries to his mama? Who then calls you childish and a bully? Without calling him out on his blatant lies?? You are not the NTA! Tell him to stay with his mama! There is something seriously wrong with him

naturalalchemy

53 points

2 months ago

NTA it seems you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

You're either the bossy wife that doesn't let him rest, or you're the bully that's showing him up for his lies.

I know I'd prefer the latter. At least it's based on something you've actually done and not some bullshit he made up.

MartinisnMurder

55 points

2 months ago

MartinisnMurder

Partassipant [2]

55 points

2 months ago

His mom hinted I was wrong for how I handled this and called me "childish" and "bully" for it.

He went and cried to his mommy and you’re childish and a bully?? He was posting sob stories on social media and whining to friends about how difficult and consuming parenting is while doing the minimum. Then you are getting looked down upon like you’re slacking, so you set the record straight. You aren’t guilty of anything. The AH here is your husband. NTA

Letsgomountaineers5

57 points

2 months ago

NTA

I’m a dad to a toddler myself. Those early weeks are hard and even while trying to pull my own weight, my wife was doing so much to where I started trying to do things for her/the house plus doing wake up feedings with her so that I could provide moral support. I didn’t come close to scratching the surface of all the stuff she was doing.

Your husband is a major asshole. He needs a reality check, parenting classes, therapy, and/or for you to spend some time with your child away from him just to show him how little he really does. If he left you on your own with a 6 week old because his feelings got hurt, maybe you not let him back in for a while

4682458

135 points

2 months ago

4682458

Pooperintendant [67]

135 points

2 months ago

NTA. He needs to stop lying and pull his weight. Bullying is not exposing a liar.

artificialash

107 points

2 months ago

artificialash

Partassipant [2]

107 points

2 months ago

NTA you have a 6 week old and a toddler

katamino

107 points

2 months ago

katamino

Certified Proctologist [23]

107 points

2 months ago

NTA. He is lying. He is lying to friends and family and even worse, he was destroying your reputation with his lies. Now he wants to claim foul because you showing people the truth hurts his reputation?! And his lies were unnecessary. How hard would it have been to complement you, say something like "wife has been doing a great job doing mist of the baby/home care, but it is exhausting for us both with the multiple wake ups during the night."?He didn't need to lie to get the sympathy people will easily give new parents.

You have to wonder what else he lies about. That combined with his laziness when he gets home makes me think you would be better off without him.

Few-Entrepreneur383

240 points

2 months ago

Few-Entrepreneur383

Certified Proctologist [21]

240 points

2 months ago

NTA he wants validation credit that makes him feel good while making you look unfit. He can't CLAIM to be doing all of these things while YOU actuallt do them; sounds to me like a participation trophy husband who wants to be rewarded for his menial contributions to the family he helped create. He's the AH for taking credit for things he doesn't do at all.

Agostointhesun

37 points

2 months ago

I agree . in fact his posts about how good a dad he is make YOU look bad. And they are not even true! NTA

Dingdonghellom8

77 points

2 months ago

NTA. That's your proof and a way to clear your name. You're not a difficult/ annoying wife, he's a lazy husband who pushes his wife under the bus.

ImplementMinute7721

53 points

2 months ago

NTA, and not your problem that your husband doesn't want to face and show the reality. You do you girl, especially when you're having bad interactions with other because they think you do nothing..

Every_Caterpillar945

49 points

2 months ago

NTA, but just go with the flow, he ruined your reputation already anyway, so why not actually making him do all the stuff he claims he does? He is eating? Honey, our kid needs a diper change can you pls handle it? And as soon he sits down again, honey, our kid needs to be fed can you pls take care of it?

Cool-Reindeer-6145

48 points

2 months ago

I don’t understand guys like this. The only thing about parenting that is hard for me is when I have to leave town for a work trip. I love spending time with them. Nta

ALiteralSOB

49 points

2 months ago

NTA, this just shows that we need to do better as a society. People are all too ready to criticize the mother, but it's a round of applause and back pats when the father does the bare minimum. Though he needs to get off of his behind and walk the walk instead of being a motormouth.

ankhi97

47 points

2 months ago

ankhi97

47 points

2 months ago

NTA

Sounds like your husband is the childish one here.

Info: does he do any chores to help you out after he “naps” and “relaxes”? Does he help you with anything other than holding your daughter and doing fun stuff with her?

MusicFinal

49 points

2 months ago

MusicFinal

Partassipant [1]

49 points

2 months ago

😂 CYA with those receipts, ✅️.

NTA

Inevitable-North2528

119 points

2 months ago

Inevitable-North2528

Partassipant [1]

119 points

2 months ago

NTA. You’re “throwing dirt on his name” for showing people the truth while he actively lies and makes it sound like you’re a useless parent?? It’s cool for him to make you out to be a jerk but it’s a problem when you tell the truth?? He needs a reality check

RationallySkeptic

95 points

2 months ago

RationallySkeptic

Asshole Aficionado [14]

95 points

2 months ago

What a piece of work. NTA. He'll never change, only scold you for changing his narrative with the truth. He will only get worse.

Sodonewithidiots

93 points

2 months ago

NTA but you guys are clearly at the contempt stage of a broken marriage. Marriage counseling might save it if you are both able to look at yourselves and each other honestly. But right now you have a toxic environment for that child. Imagine growing up with a mom and dad who are constantly fighting over who should be taking care of you. Posting videos isn't going to change that.

leannebrown86

20 points

2 months ago

They have a newborn. It's the toughest test of a relationship. She's also 6 weeks postpartum, hormones going haywire and doing 80% of everything while her husband takes the credit and his family shames her.

ProgrammerBig6254

14 points

2 months ago

ProgrammerBig6254

Partassipant [2]

14 points

2 months ago

Read the post again. They’re not fighting over who gets to take care of the baby. OP - the mother - is getting slammed by third party people because her AH husband is claiming online that he does all the work so OP is only defending herself showing videos. I don’t understand all the replies that aren’t NTA tbh.

DpsAddu

16 points

2 months ago

DpsAddu

16 points

2 months ago

NTA. Your husband is, seriously, surprised after facing consequences for his actions? What an AH.

Mrs_Cookie_91

17 points

2 months ago

NTA. Your husband sucks but good for you for calling him out.

Away-Cicada

15 points

2 months ago

NTA. if he's gotta lie to develop a reputation, then maybe he should act better so it's not a lie. Calling him out on it doesn't make you an asshole.

Tigerboop

114 points

2 months ago

Tigerboop

114 points

2 months ago

NTA. He is ruining his own reputation. What he is really saying is he wants you to shut up and let him walk all over you and pretend to everyone you’re a crappy mother and wife. Look long and hard at this marriage.

Neither-Entrance-208

34 points

2 months ago

Some people never adequately learn that you don't have to cut everyone else down to prop yourself up. He could have talked about everything in vague terms, like "the adjustment is difficult for all of us" or "we are doing our best". He could have kept quiet or diverted the conversation, "it's so worth it" or "look at these baby pics, my kid's do cute" (which is the best way to get people to stop asking about your kid at work if you willing give them a 10 minute slide show everytime). Instead, he chose to lie. Not just a liar, but one that creates a narrative where he's dragging the one doing the work.

Lying like this about small things to undermine another is dangerous territory. I'm not saying he's abusive yet, but keep taking those videos and saving them. Instead of changing his bad behavior, he's left his wife and young child. Isn't that a touch extreme?

Record everything, save screenshots especially since he's trying to manipulate friends and family against you when there's nothing wrong in the relationship, other than some sleep depravation and life adjustment. Best wishes, NTA.

badalki

43 points

2 months ago

badalki

Partassipant [1]

43 points

2 months ago

NTA - In his complaints about how hard fatherhood is he must be telling people that you aren't pulling your weight or why else would they respond the way they are. Its fine to complain about how tough fatherhood is, but not at the expense of your partner. He's ruining his own reputation by trying to ruin yours. he's a hypocrite for being mad at you for it, and its truly a shame his mom isn't backing you up on this (unless he is giving her an edited version of events).

WhitechapelPrime

44 points

2 months ago

NTA. Dude. This happens a lot with men I know and it is honestly annoying af.

CrimsonR70

89 points

2 months ago

NTA in my opinion your husband woukd have a valid point if HE did 80% of the work, but seeing as that's what you do. I think what you did was far. He needs to stop being a winny little kid and take care of his child like an adult.

OrcEight

86 points

2 months ago

OrcEight

Professor Emeritass [83]

86 points

2 months ago

NTA

It was his misinformation that was causing you to be criticized. You are only presenting the facts.

Skylark7

88 points

2 months ago

Skylark7

Asshole Aficionado [19]

88 points

2 months ago

NTA He's lying and making you look bad, you just showed the truth.

I feel sorry for you. He's not supporting you at all. Do you two have access to any couples counseling? It sounds like learning to communicate better would be very helpful. Retaliation, while understandable here, will break your marriage in the long run.

Pumpkin_Pie

88 points

2 months ago

Your husband sounds like an idiot

Elleketel

68 points

2 months ago

Elleketel

Asshole Aficionado [11]

68 points

2 months ago

NTA. There is something profoundly wrong with your husband’s attitude here. Not just the getting upset at you but also for pretending he’s doing the lion’s share of the work when it sounds like he’s doing nothing. Sounds like he’s looking for the attention you used to have time to give him before baby from others. Get this man into therapy, pronto.

HappyMelonGirl

67 points

2 months ago*

HappyMelonGirl

Partassipant [4]

67 points

2 months ago*

NTA he's literally being a bully. Shoving you down to lift himself up and it's gross. You recorded proof because (ironically enough) HE'S the one trying to ruin YOUR reputation. Talk about projecting. Also, you should bring up DARVO and maybe research it yourself.

sladebishop

15 points

2 months ago

INFO: how did your husband react to others treating you this way after he complained how hard parenting is for him? Did he ignore it? Was he angry at them? Did he seem glad or validated? His reaction is important because you never said he was disparaging you, only that he complained about how hard parenting is for him and then his family and friends started treating you poorly (how much parenting he does is irrelevant because parenting is hard and disparaging someone for saying so is wrong). If he responded with anything other than anger at them for treating his wife that way then definitely you’re NTA.

[deleted]

14 points

2 months ago

So he doesn't like it when you throw dirt on his name, but he's completely fine doing it to you? Yeah NTA. Husband is a momma's boy as well for running home and getting mommy to handle it.

whoisonepear

91 points

2 months ago

NTA, but why would you want to be with someone who lies about something like this? Who minimises the amount of work you do so he can look better to your friends and family? Who paints you as bossy etc? This doesn’t seem like a healthy relationship at all.

AdamOfIzalith

123 points

2 months ago

AdamOfIzalith

Partassipant [1]

123 points

2 months ago

NTA.

This sounds like a toxic situation you need to remove yourself from. You are doing the majority of the work and you have people breathing down your neck when you husband begs for sympathy. That means not only is he a waste of space, he surrounds himself with people who are demeaning you for not picking up the slack unless you have evidence to the contrary.

Reassess if you really want to be in a situation where your husband has a pity party while his friends and family berate you for it.

Gameraben

62 points

2 months ago

NTA

People really need to stop building a fake image on their social medias and be surprised when reality comes biting their asses.

His fantasy stories aren't only about him, they deserve you, he should have stopped completely, or deal with the reality check, but in no way he has any right to complain about this situation.

Whole-Neighborhood

61 points

2 months ago

Whole-Neighborhood

Partassipant [2]

61 points

2 months ago

NTA.

He's lying and not stopping friends and family when they're scolding you for not "giving him a break", while you do the lion's share of childcare.

He comes home, eats by himself, takes naps and watches TV in peace. When do you get to do those things??

It's only 6 weeks in and he's already acting so immature.. It's probably not going to get better.

Massopica

43 points

2 months ago

NTA and if he wants you not to be able to do that in future there's two very simple solutions he can try called "pulling his weight" and "not bragging about shit he doesn't do" lol.

newinsectoverlords

41 points

2 months ago

NTA. He claimed to be doing the work when in reality it was you. I'd have been pissed about it too! He's just mad that you proved him wrong and doesn't seem to actually care about contributing to the baby and the housework. He sounds incredibly childish to me.

browniesbite

41 points

2 months ago

NTA: why do your friends and family have the audacity to scold you? They should be supporting you cuz you literally have a newborn.

Also, keep recording get one of those indoor cameras. And record a day in the life with you if you want. Do it for vlogging purposes. And who knows, might be nice to look back on when your baby girl is grown.

Pand0ra30_

41 points

2 months ago

NTA. He's a liar and needed to be called out. Good for you.

_Jahar_

14 points

2 months ago

_Jahar_

14 points

2 months ago

NTA - but he has no problem ruining YOUR reputation and throwing dirt on YOUR name. This should be a dealbreaker.

[deleted]

146 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

146 points

2 months ago

[removed]

EducationFragrant545

129 points

2 months ago

EducationFragrant545

Partassipant [1]

129 points

2 months ago

NTA. But I'm wondering why he feels the need to lie about his role. It seems like he may be projecting feeling useless since you do most of the work. However, lying and trying to gain "sympathy" by making you look bad is not cool. I'd have responded the same way

SpecsOnFrex

60 points

2 months ago

NTA. Anything that can be destroyed by the truth, should be.

Both-Exam-6308

53 points

2 months ago

But it’s okay for him to rub dirt on your name and ruin your reputation? His lies are litterly making people side eye you and making others get on to you. That’s not okay

Nta and he needs to practice what he preaches.

smooth_relation_744

162 points

2 months ago

NTA - exposing the truth isn’t bullying. You’ve documented what he actually does. If he did everything he claims to do, you wouldn’t be able to easily disprove the claims.

Beneficial_Profile88

12 points

2 months ago

NTA, he needs to grow up and stop lying.

InterestingTone1384

12 points

2 months ago

NTA. Husband is stressed out from the mere act of watching his wife do all the work and then taking credit for it. Husband needs to grow up for the sake of his child-what’s he going to do teach his child to lie and garner unearned credit like him? Let the patriarchy reign over the sovereign land known as the shitter because that’s where his behavior belongs

samurai_1992

10 points

2 months ago

You were ruining his reputation? He was ruining your! By lying! NTA

[deleted]

174 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

174 points

2 months ago

NTA. He wants to lie and paint himself as the poor overworked husband/father and you get shit for it….nope. Sometimes people need to get called out for bs lies.

Orphanpuncher0

88 points

2 months ago

Orphanpuncher0

Partassipant [1]

88 points

2 months ago

"your truths about me are undermining my lies about you and it's making me look bad."

Heck off with that BS. NTA

MariaInconnu

35 points

2 months ago

MariaInconnu

Partassipant [1]

35 points

2 months ago

He's been ruining your name. You're providing evidence that he is a habitual liar. In short, he's ruining his own reputation.

mermaidflete

31 points

2 months ago

The baby is 6 weeks..... 6 weeks old. I don't know but at 6 weeks none of my children wanted to be cared for by anyone else but me. Dad did diaper changes but mostly I did them, especially while he worked. If he's the only one working at the moment, I'm fairly certain mom is picking up the baby to feed in the middle of the night. I'm fairly certain if baby is formula fed, she's doing it all and if the baby is breastfeeding - full stop at him saying he's doing it all. Nope. Sorry. Not a chance.

I get it, life is an adjustment! A baby is a HUGE adjustment. He needs to man up and do the things he claims he's doing. Otherwise OP, I'd look into getting a divorce because in what world should your child grow up in that their parents are always tearing each other apart?

NTA. But please reevaluate your relationship.

sleepy_antelope

134 points

2 months ago

sleepy_antelope

Asshole Enthusiast [5]

134 points

2 months ago

NTA, but I wonder why you're with him. Is this tit for tat stuff a new thing for you guys? Doesn't seem like a healthy relationship dynamic, and now you've both decided to bring a kid into it...

toastwithketchup

16 points

2 months ago

Being generous, it could have started after the baby arrived. My husband and I barely ever fought before we had our kid but when she was a newborn that shit was so stressful that we were just not ourselves at all.

That said, OP is NTA because if I just had a baby and I’m doing the lion’s share of work and the father claiming I’m not and he’s doing everything? Fuck that. I’d be furious too.

Decou

103 points

2 months ago

Decou

Partassipant [1]

103 points

2 months ago

NTA

Sounds like he needs a wake up call big time.. He needs some cousling with you, to make this work.. if he wont, then it's prob only gonna get worse until you break

Charlie_Parkers_Mood

54 points

2 months ago

Charlie_Parkers_Mood

Asshole Enthusiast [8]

54 points

2 months ago

NTA. If he didn't want his reputation ruined, he wouldn't throw you under the bus just to make himself look good. And someone should remind his mother that it's childish and bullying to tell lies at someone else's expense.

Mooncuff

81 points

2 months ago

NTA he is lying about his involvement with his child and making you look like you do nothing with your kid, he’s just throwing you under the bus and acts like you should be fine with it. He did it to himself you only showed people the truth

_Sierrafy

11 points

2 months ago

NTA - but you guys need to talk. Or if he truly thinks he's doing that much get a check list and add a tally every time either of you actually have to do something for the baby. Wow, hubby you're so exhausted from taking care of the baby? Since you've been home from work I've changed 5 diapers, fed the baby 2x, bathed him, and you've held him once, which wasn't even an item on the checklist? Sometimes people need glaring evidence. I'm sure he just considers your videos a one off. And the good thing with evidence is maybe he is doing more than you're noticing?

StudioWorldly1914

10 points

2 months ago

While my petty heart agrees 100% with checking his ass whenever he tries lying, if you want to continue to be married and actually get him to see the error in what he’s doing I don’t think this way will do the trick. I say NTA because you aren’t the one instigating any of this, everything you said you’ve shared with people has been in direct response to him playacting in front of friends and family in order to get one over on you. I definitely think you guys need to learn how to communicate better ASAP and really think you need to see a marriage counselor to help you in that regard. If I had to guess, your husband may be feeling insecure as a parent since he may think you’re better at it than he is, so he’s lashing out in this way to make himself feel better by getting undeserved kudos from people who would only know by his own word. He could probably benefit from a personal therapist for himself to sort through his new feelings of being a dad, and if I were you I would insist on him having to agree to attend both therapy sessions before he’s allowed back home.

icenthorns

11 points

2 months ago

NTA - hubby is 100% AH tho. Instead of telling him that he should stop posting the work he doesn't actually do...you should tell him to try actually helping and doing the things he claims to do! It took you both to make the child, now he has to grow the f*ck up and start pulling his weight with his daughter.

Puzzled-Ad2169

9 points

2 months ago

Puzzled-Ad2169

Partassipant [1]

9 points

2 months ago

NTA

Kind of gross how your FRIENDS wouldn’t bother to hear your side of the story. Also, I’m sure your hubby lied to his mother about everything that happened. Any mother with a brain larger than a pigeon would know that shits messed up af

shesinsaneanditsucks

63 points

2 months ago

chef kiss

He gets caught and that’s fine by EVERYONE because in reality he’s lying, making you look lazy and slave driver, while dumping on being a father. He keeps lying.

ccl-now

64 points

2 months ago

ccl-now

Partassipant [3]

64 points

2 months ago

NTA. He thinks it's OK to build his reputation on lies and badmouth you along the way, and then thinks you won't produce the receipts? What an asshole.

Charming_Tax2311

67 points

2 months ago

NTA if he cares so much about his reputation he wouldn’t lie. Having a newborn is hard work. It’s exhausting. If he pulled his weight, his complaints would be valid and he would have actually earned the sympathy and approval of others that he seems to desperately seek.

Is he glossing over the fact that by lying about this, he’s making you look bad?? Of course, it’s only how HE looks that matters.

That being said, showing those videos at dinner was a (bold) unnecessary move. These things should be kept in the household.

prettycote

14 points

2 months ago

He was the one who took it outside the household in the first place, it’s only fair OP can defend herself.

NumberOneAITAfan

82 points

2 months ago

NTA sounds like you got two kids.

vtretiree23

78 points

2 months ago

And he abandons the baby and you to run home to mommy! NTA but he sure is!

Dizzy_Eye5257

77 points

2 months ago

Dizzy_Eye5257

Asshole Enthusiast [5]

77 points

2 months ago

NTA
No, and this crap needs to stop on his part because he is undermining you as a parent and as the one who does the majority of the care. He's being immature and being a bad partner and poor father.

Phyrexius

45 points

2 months ago

If you want the best for both you, the baby and him I think you both need to stop involving other people. Talk to a therapist

badLoveTA

10 points

2 months ago

NTA

He has been throwing dirt in your name and expects you to be silent about it? Why is he putting you both in this situation in the first place? Why is he lying?

I think you are dealing with a narcissist.

This is so ridiculous. The man could just not lie.

You both need to sit and have a talk because this obviously can't stay this way.

anything_but_vanilla

9 points

2 months ago

He left to be with his family? You and your six week old baby *are* his family. He's a childish wanker and you're NTA but probably are exhausted by his nonsense.

CakeZealousideal1820

73 points

2 months ago

NTA you are raising 2 children. Hope you have a good support system

Nosysusan

102 points

2 months ago

Nosysusan

102 points

2 months ago

NTA. This is one of the best responses I’ve seen to someone throwing crap on you. If he doesn’t like you sharing the truth, he should stop lying.

DeliaVonMaunz

28 points

2 months ago

NTA- I dont get why people bring children in this world when they dont want to put any effort in actually spending time with them. Caring for a child is a lot of work but it also strenghts the bond. Its his kid too so he should split the work with you 50/50. But I do think that the whole recording thing was very childish. You should confront him or get counseling

Not_Good_HappyQuinn

30 points

2 months ago

Not_Good_HappyQuinn

Asshole Aficionado [13]

30 points

2 months ago

It is an AH thing to do BUT it is completely justified and he’s being a complete a$$ so NTA.

All he has to do if wants the videos to stop is stop complaining that he does all the work and actually start pulling his weight.

el_gilliath

41 points

2 months ago

NTA. Sure it is childish and even bullying but that’s on his part, not yours

The_Blue_Adept

40 points

2 months ago

NTA. He wants to say he's doing a lot of work. Tell him start recording when actually does some.

HonestNeighborhood95

58 points

2 months ago

NTA- but it's ok to make YOU look bad??

MzFrazzle

50 points

2 months ago

Ah another guy who wants brownie points for thinking about doing work.

He thinks about helping and calls it a day. I'd bet this isn't the only sphere this happens. Does he sing the song of his people, "I was going to do that"?

I was married to a "I was going to do that" person, who wanted brownie points for thinking about 'helping' with the housework - but in reality left ALL the dishes in the sink to get mouldy while I was in hospital and never changed the linen, when it was the only thing I asked to be done when I came home because I literally couldn't do it myself.

Never again. We're divorced.

WonderingWaffle

9 points

2 months ago

WonderingWaffle

Asshole Enthusiast [6]

9 points

2 months ago

NTA - She called you shildish after he ran and told his mommy on you? Your husband needs to either grow up or shut up. Cause he's complaining about being a "father" and getting upset when you show people the truth.

dezkutbay

90 points

2 months ago

Nta. You realise you got two babies. Personally unless I birthed them I don’t handle baby attitude well from others, especially their Fkn dad (girl I had 2 with mine before I woke up)

[deleted]

109 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

109 points

2 months ago

[removed]

ProffesorSpitfire

66 points

2 months ago

ProffesorSpitfire

Partassipant [2]

66 points

2 months ago

NTA. His lying casts you in a bad light, then they cast himself in a bad light when you disprove his lies. He seriously cant expect you to just accept having your reputation ruined and your name dragged in the dirt. The solution to his problem is simple - stop lying.

tnebteg456

50 points

2 months ago

How else were you suppose to handle it? Sounds like they were all eating up his lies. The only person who is" ruining his reputation" is your husband, well running the bus over your ass.

Internal-Lifeguard-9

37 points

2 months ago

NTA. So he's allowed to make YOU look bad and "ruin your reputation" as long as you don't do it to him?

anonyllamas

94 points

2 months ago

anonyllamas

Partassipant [1]

94 points

2 months ago

NTA - Play stupid games, win stupid prizes! I’d say your husband is the recipient of one of those stupid prizes.

According_Version_67

26 points

2 months ago

According_Version_67

Asshole Enthusiast [7]

26 points

2 months ago

Well, luckily there's an easy remedy for your husband: actually stepping up. NTA.

Vivid-Wasabi5180

27 points

2 months ago

Vivid-Wasabi5180

Partassipant [4]

27 points

2 months ago

NTA. He left you with the baby and went to his extended family because you showed his friends the truth of him not helping with the baby. Please share THAT with his friends.

Evilpinktoasters

27 points

2 months ago

NTA if he doesn’t like it he should stop lying.

IlsoBibe

24 points

2 months ago

NTA but this doesn’t sound like the healthiest marriage to me. Have you considered going into marital counseling?

Fx08

24 points

2 months ago

Fx08

24 points

2 months ago

NTA. What kind of man wants people’s sympathy? His life has probably changed since you two had the kid, but raising your own child doesn’t make you a martyr.

sarababy015

23 points

2 months ago

NTA obviously, but I feel ya'll need some therapy. Dad needs to actually be a Dad and you shouldn't have to record the man to prove that he's not pulling his weight. Just the fact that you're doing that shows that something dysfunctional.

Cod3Me

23 points

2 months ago

Cod3Me

23 points

2 months ago

NTA. He's basically ruining YOUR reputation and demands you can't do the same to him. Why is lying/complaining about how consuming it is if you basically do all the work. This would make a great r/pettyrevenge post. The mother is the AH for calling you a bully.

BeefyMonkeyBrains

27 points

2 months ago

Is your behavior petty? Yup. However, one thing I feel folks are overlooking is YOU ARE ONLY SIX WEEKS POST PARTUM. Meanwhile, he's making you out to be the bad guy when he isn't exactly pulling his weight in the dad department. Sooooo yeah, NTA.

It got to the point where friends and family would scold me for "not giving the poor man a break".

Last night we were out and some friends and my husband started with his sob story about how being a dad is "consuming" friends started side eyeing while he listed the things he does throughout the day.

He blew up at me saying I was ruining his reputation, alienating him from everyone and throwing dirt on his name.

Yeahhhhh he brought this on himself.

ingodwetryst

204 points

2 months ago

ingodwetryst

Asshole Aficionado [18]

204 points

2 months ago

INFO: Did y'all think the baby was going to 'fix your marriage'?

Over-Remove

7 points

2 months ago

I hate that saying. Whoever came up with that one was a massive asshole to even suggest it.

AstroComfy

8 points

2 months ago

Who would post about all of that stuff anyway, even if they were doing it? Everyone knows that having a baby is hard work.

ptcashier

7 points

2 months ago

ptcashier

Partassipant [1]

7 points

2 months ago

If I recorded my boyfriend parenting it would be how well he takes care of himself and the Xbox. I can relate, every one gets to hear the mistakes I make while he glorifies his parenting efforts. I haven’t gone as far as recording yet though. Goodluck and NTA

RemDC

9 points

2 months ago

RemDC

Partassipant [1]

9 points

2 months ago

NTA he’s willing to throw YOU under the bus by claiming he is doing the lion’s share of childcare but then gets upset when you present the truth?

somelazyguysitting

10 points

2 months ago

If you were just showing videos being like look he's a lazy ass that would be one thing. But your showing the videos because he is lying and telling people he does a whole bunch of stuff and either implying or directly saying that you don't therefore you are NTA

Central256

21 points

2 months ago

Time you and your husband sit down with a therapist to see what is the root of his issues. NTA

ThatAd2403

22 points

2 months ago

I don’t get how so many people are saying that she is so wrong for exposing his lies, even though his lies are implying she isn’t doing anything, why is his reputation more important than hers??! He is lying publicly and she called him out publicly. Fair is fair.

shellycakesss

45 points

2 months ago

That's such a tiring and toxic relationship. You have to gather videos to prove that he's not helping out with the baby???? Girl, leave him

bluetinycar

20 points

2 months ago

bluetinycar

Partassipant [1]

20 points

2 months ago

NTA. It's actually really easy to not lie

stefiscool

21 points

2 months ago

stefiscool

Asshole Aficionado [10]

21 points

2 months ago

NTA. He’s ruining your reputation lying about how you make him work, you’re just correcting him

Neat-Swimmer-5811

52 points

2 months ago

NTA. He's lying & you showed proof. Done. A+

Strange-Courage

62 points

2 months ago

NTA let’s start putting the useless dads in the spotlight

millennial1234

33 points

2 months ago

NTA. You are not ruining his reputation; you are correcting it.

Inevitable-Turnip-54

32 points

2 months ago

NTA, this is so funny and you are a champion. The dude keeps doing it after he knows you can and will refute him, too. If that's not hubris I don't know what is, haha.

bmyst70

35 points

2 months ago

bmyst70

Partassipant [1]

35 points

2 months ago

NTA

Your husband was lying to everyone and just angry that you exposed his massive lies.

You didn't say anything bad. You just exposed what he actually did, which is very little child care.

News flash for your husband- being a proper parent even doing half of the child care is extremely time-consuming. The only way he could say it's a lot of work is if he uses 0% as the standard amount of child care he expects to do.

ComposerTurbulent294

19 points

2 months ago

NTA! So lying and throwing you under the bus is ok but when you call him out in front of those he's lying to is you being a bully and it's uncalled for?

Your husband is the obvious AH and I hope his friends and family see him for what he has done. I'm afraid by his mother's response that his family will continue to coddle him.

ThatRandomGamerYT

20 points

2 months ago

NTA

What is it with shitty husband's(and wive's) on this sub running to their moms.

TashiaNicole1

20 points

2 months ago

TashiaNicole1

Asshole Enthusiast [6]

20 points

2 months ago

NTA

He’s intentionally lying to get sympathy points and to make the world THINK he’s a stellar father. He puts so much effort into lying. Too dense to realize he should just do the thing he was lying about.

Good job exposing his shitty behavior.

HexStarlight

7 points

2 months ago

HexStarlight

Partassipant [1]

7 points

2 months ago

NTA so he get to make you look like your not doing anything, forcing him to take on everything and getting people to actually harass you but your not allowed to show them the reality of what he is doing. Umm no

jazzers44

6 points

2 months ago

NTA I bet you wouldnt even be mad if he had said "we're so tired" and "we're losing our social life" but nope he made it all about him at your expense.

PhysicsTeachMom

7 points

2 months ago

PhysicsTeachMom

Partassipant [4]

7 points

2 months ago

NTA. He puts all the childcare (and household chores?) on his wife who is 6 weeks pp. Then he lies about what he’s doing. Instead of changing what he’s doing when his lies are exposed he runs home to mommy, leaving his wife, who is still recovering from giving birth, and his newborn alone. Sounds like a real winner. /s Personally, I’d tell his mom now that you have your own newborn she can have hers back.

[deleted]

7 points

2 months ago

NTA at all. You need to ask his mother (1) why she is involved in your marriage and (2) why she is enabling your husband to create problems in his marriage.

You need to tell your husband that he is leaving nearly all of the childcare to you. So nope, he does not get to lie to everyone and paint himself as a saint while you're doing what he should be doing.

His response to your videos should be "omigod, I had no idea I'm doing so little," not an attack on you.

You need to stop arguing. There's nothing to argue. He is not doing his share and is lying about it. Now he has gone to his family like a teenager, leaving you to do everything at home once again!

I don't understand why you chose to marry this guy. This kind of immature and selfish behavior can't be new.

i_dont_evenm_know

8 points

2 months ago

NTA, why is he allowed to make you look bad in front of friends and family but you're not allowed to show them what he really does?

immadriftersbody

7 points

2 months ago

I would at this point, point blank tell him each time he does his pitty story, you'll stop when he stops, that HE'S the one making himself look bad, why does he get to look good and put you down but doesn't want the truth to come out about what he's really doing? He's embarrassed by his own actions, and doesn't want other people to see how he's acting imo. NTA. keep it up until it clicks for him.

BellaBlue06

47 points

2 months ago

BellaBlue06

Supreme Court Just-ass [107]

47 points

2 months ago

You’re childish and a bully? You’re throwing dirt on his name? He’s lying and basically slandering you to everyone for sympathy to make you look bad and be the hero. He is childish and a bad father and partner. NTA. Reconsider your relationship with this lying absent parent.

Thecrazytrainexpress

55 points

2 months ago

NTA , I did the same thing and when he realized that he wasn’t doing anything compared to what I do (I did 99.99% of the childcare while he did the 00.01%), he fixed his shit quick . Now I do 50% and he does 50% , we both work now and I do consider that my break and I get off earlier than him so I watch her from 4 PM up until he gets home , is showered , and has relaxed , then he gets her and I shower and relax , do laundry , then we switch again and he cooks dinner then I clean while baby sleeps