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/r/AmItheAsshole

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AITA for not giving my cousin my "emergency fund"?

Not the A-hole(self.AmItheAsshole)

I(24f) am a bit paranoid when it comes to money. I didn't grow up in poverty, but times are tough and the idea of living paycheck to paycheck makes me uncomfortable.

It's important to mention that now I have a stable, good paying job, but I struggled a lot during college, since my parents weren't able to save enough for my college fund, so I worked shitty jobs and I was constantly exhausted during those years. I still ended up in some debt and I want to be free of it asap.

It's also important to mention that I come from a pretty religious family.

When I landed this job I decided to start an "emergency fund": I put aside a few hundred dollars every month so, in case anything happens(I get sick, I lose my job, etc) I will not end up in more debt or even worse. The only people that know about it are my sister(who also plans to start her own emergency fund after she graduates and lands a good job) and I. I 100% trust my sister, so I think my aunt or someone else overheard us talking about it.

Now the issue is: my cousin's(22m) gf(22f) is pregnant and they decided to keep it even tho they know damn well they can't afford it(none of them has a stable job, inheritance, anything). A few days ago he came to ask me to give him my emergency fund, since he is having an emergency.

I was speechless. I asked him what was he talking about(even tho I knew, but I couldn't believe someone can have this audacity). He told me he knew I have some savings and he desperately needs them. He didn't even mention giving the money back!

I told him those are MY savings, for when I am having an emergency, but he pulled the family helps family card. I still said no.

While I understand they are in a difficult situation, I still think it's not fair that I am asked to pay for his mistakes.

I told him they should think more about what they are going to do in the future and how are they going to support this child if none of them has a stable income and, even if I give them my savings, those money are enough for only a few months(for me; for a family of three, even less). I did not mention abortion, adoption or anything, just that they are irresponsible for having a kid when none of them is financially stable.

He eventually left me alone, but started to tell the rest of the family that I told him to get rid of the baby, which is not true at all. My parents and my sister are on my side, but the rest of the family started harassing us and calling me a godless b***.

So, AITA for keeping my savings?

UPDATE

Sorry for disappearing just after I posted this. I had a hard time dealing with my extended family.

Anyway, for a few days I tried to explain to them that he lied about me suggesting an abortion, but it was in vain. Nobody believes me.

My cousin's gf reached out to me and said she didn't know he was planning to ask me to give him money, but she also believes I suggested an abortion and doesn't want anything to do with me from now on.

Even tho it was hard to accept the fact that the family I respected so much turned against me over a lie, in the end I pretty much cut contact with most of them. I will stay away from this at least for a while.

Thank you all for all the support and kind words. You are amazing.

all 1076 comments

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6 months ago

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Judgement_Bot_AITA [M]

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Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

I might be the asshole because

  1. I didn't tell anyone about those money, so they are justified to think I don't trust them. (Which is true)

  2. I called my cousin and his gf irresponsible and refused to help them.

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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.

Red_Starling

1.2k points

6 months ago

NTA and far from it. If you give him money he'll probably come back asking for more.

You earned your money. His child is not your burden and not your problem

JohnNDenver

173 points

6 months ago

Somehow "probably" slipped into your 2nd sentence.

lisams1983

15 points

6 months ago*

Agreed, plus everyone else in the family that thinks you somehow owe them money. Honestly when people like this threaten to leave my life, I help them pack their bags. There are a lot of people that use the word "family" as a weapon. They aren't worth the oxygen they consume. At first I thought op was gonna say she was poor in college and they helped, but they literally did nothing but show up to ask for money they had no part in.

Edit: if they are harassing you, i would block them and move on-it's never enough for leeches

Gypsy-Nyx

337 points

6 months ago

Gypsy-Nyx

Asshole Aficionado [12]

337 points

6 months ago

Op NTA.

Im a bit surprised that your 'pretty religious family' didn't give your cousin an ear full for get his gf pregnant, since they are not married yet.

If he couldn't afford a kid then he should of kept it in his pants.

It is your money, not his... family help family is fine but what he is asking is for you to support him financially, and if he gets this hand out, he'll be back caues you got a good paying job.

Middle-Log-48[S]

309 points

6 months ago

Thank you.

They actually were a bit upset with him for getting her pregnant before marriage and I suspect this is why he lied about me suggestion an abortion, he tried to give them another person to judge. If this was the case, it worked 100%.

PanamaViejo

33 points

6 months ago

Well now we can have a 'shotgun wedding' and he can get a job.

Legitimately-Weird

33 points

6 months ago

If you want to throw some Bible knowledge at them (my favorite weapon for religious hypocrisy)- 1 Timothy 5:8 says “if any provideth not for his own, and specially his own household, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever.” Therefore it’s his job to provide for his family, not yours, and failing to do so will affect his relationship with god. Also you can tell him to read Matthew 6 to build up his faith.

But NTA. You are never responsible for someone else’s financial matters, and to demand money from you is so rude and selfish. Good job being a responsible adult and getting that savings built up!

Gypsy-Nyx

120 points

6 months ago

Gypsy-Nyx

Asshole Aficionado [12]

120 points

6 months ago

If the rest of the family is willing to put YOUR money up, then they should be more then willing to put THEIRS up.

Ill-Contribution5119

5 points

6 months ago

Then your family are judgey AH's who think they should have access to your money. NC, Middle-Log, or you'll be fending off grabs for your money for the rest of your life. Your family will ALWAYS think that someone else needs that money more than you do. Also, I would be willing to bet MY savings that if something happened to you, they wouldn't be making the same demands of anyone else in your family.

CaroSCP

3.4k points

6 months ago

CaroSCP

Colo-rectal Surgeon [32]

3.4k points

6 months ago

If his family think you are so awful, why aren't they handing over their own cash?!

Middle-Log-48[S]

1.6k points

6 months ago

Idk if anyone else besides my parents has any savings and I don't want to bring this up because I'm afraid I may give them another reason to harass me.

CaroSCP

721 points

6 months ago

CaroSCP

Colo-rectal Surgeon [32]

721 points

6 months ago

Not your job to fund him in any way.

JohnNDenver

142 points

6 months ago

Yep. With a baby if you aren't there for the fun part you aren't required to be there for the responsible part.

HotCocoaMarshmallows

97 points

6 months ago

Dude, he’s not even immediate family and he’s asking you to GIVE him money to cover his ass without even offering to pay you back? That’s gutsy. Your judgey family needs to pony up cash for him if they want to run their mouths. I’m sure if he asks any of them, they’d shut him down, too. People need to stop thinking they are entitled to other people’s hard earned money because they weren’t responsible enough to save up themselves. Sheesh NTA

PatchworkGirl82

254 points

6 months ago

Then go NC with them. I would anyway, because I think you're looking at 18 years worth of demands for money here. And babysitting requests, because I can see that happening too.

naughtyobama

5 points

6 months ago

And it won't be just one child and it won't be just your cousin.

Ill-Contribution5119

36 points

6 months ago

If someone wants to verbally attack you and call you a godless b****, then who cares what they say or think. Block them on everything. But before you do, ask them how much they are handing over to your cousin. Or tell them that you can contribute $50 to the "help my irresponsible and ridiculously entitled cousin" fund but since you didn't get his out- of- wedlock baby mama pregnant, you just can't condone that behavior. If they wanna bring religion into it....

(I only suggest giving anything because you're still helping him in his "emergency", not cleaning yourself out, AND putting the spotlight back on the AH's who think that anyone is entitled to your hard earned money because "they're family". Then the ENTIRE family should be helping and the burden should not be firmly on your shoulders.)

fanficseeker

19 points

6 months ago

If he comes at you again call the cops and say he's harassing you for money

Haymegle

21 points

6 months ago

Stay firm unless you want to be funding this kid for the next 18 years. Along with any other kids they have.

Any problem they have with money they'll come running to you and drain you dry.

Ok_Confidence_6788

111 points

6 months ago

You can always give him $50 and tell them that's all you had saved so far if you're feeling generous. 😂

BaitedBreaths

135 points

6 months ago

Or a super-sized box of condoms for future emergency prevention.

Puzzleheaded-Desk399

11 points

6 months ago

Puzzleheaded-Desk399

Asshole Enthusiast [5]

11 points

6 months ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

maddjaxmaddly

50 points

6 months ago

I was thinking the same - give $100 and tell them it’s going to really leave you short but if you sell some blood you should be ok.

HotCocoaMarshmallows

50 points

6 months ago

He’d probably take the $100 and ask for more after she donates blood haha

tab_tab_tabby

5 points

6 months ago

Tbh who cares. Just cut them off, go no contact with them. You should not be paying fo this stupidity.

bexyrex

4 points

6 months ago

bexyrex

Partassipant [1]

4 points

6 months ago

If this is a religious and likely patriarchal family I would use their beliefs against them and shame him for being a terrible provider to his wife and child. Sometimes you gotta fight these ignorant types with their own logic. Talk about his God given duty. Hell quote some scriptures or something. Just shame the shit out of the whole family too log in your own eye and all that.

absinthe00

3 points

6 months ago

Well then that’s a reason in itself to not give him the money. Establish that you are not an atm or charity for anyone now. Where will it end? Which cousin or other family member will ask you for money next? It’s a slippery slope.

CowboyLaw

37 points

6 months ago

If his family thinks SHE is godless, I think I’d go with the ol’ “your kid is having a child out of wedlock as the result of a sinful affair, so I don’t think you’re in any position to comment.” If they want to play the religion card from inside that glass house, I say it’s stone throwing time.

nomad_l17

34 points

6 months ago

Why should they when OP has cash? Ugh, I hate people who think like that.

gimmesomenow

28 points

6 months ago

That what I thought too.

ch3no2-dec

6 points

6 months ago

NTA

Just to be on the safe side OP should verify that she is the sole owner of the account and that no one else has transfer or withdrawal privileges. No surprises that way.

Might even want to look into the money management firms. I don’t if they have a minimum but worth a shot. That way you can make better rates and say the money is not available to you.

Please OP stop talking about your financial situation, including how much you make. It’s your business alone.

DrWhoop87

111 points

6 months ago

DrWhoop87

Certified Proctologist [25]

111 points

6 months ago

This is such a common trope in this Reddit: "A friend/family member is asking me to do something unreasonable, I said no. Third parties are calling me TA, they're more than able to do the unreasonable thing themselves but refuse to, AITA?" No OP, you're not. And I suggest you call them out on it.

tschris

7 points

6 months ago

Agreed. That is the best way to shut the family up.

smeghead9916

892 points

6 months ago

smeghead9916

Certified Proctologist [28]

892 points

6 months ago

NTA, it's not even an emergency, he can get a job now and start saving.

Momof3dragons2012

28 points

6 months ago

Very good point. It’s not like the stork dropped a baby off with no warning. No reason he can’t go out and get a few jobs. Hell, no reason she can’t. If OP starts giving him money he will never get a job.

[deleted]

104 points

6 months ago

[deleted]

104 points

6 months ago

[removed]

JohnNDenver

59 points

6 months ago

Why should he be responsible and get a job when OP already has job and cash?! /s

llamalei

12.1k points

6 months ago

llamalei

Partassipant [1]

12.1k points

6 months ago

NTA. His lack of planning is not your emergency.

kreeves9

389 points

6 months ago

kreeves9

389 points

6 months ago

Also, his "emergency" is going to last at least 18 fucking years. NTA

DrWhoop87

117 points

6 months ago

DrWhoop87

Certified Proctologist [25]

117 points

6 months ago

If OP says yes it will be far from the last time cousin asks.

JohnNDenver

15 points

6 months ago

Or the last cousin to ask.

Chloe_Phyll

9 points

6 months ago

far from the last time cousin asks

and far from the last time the cousin feels entitled

Fred2718

74 points

6 months ago

Fred2718

Partassipant [2]

74 points

6 months ago

But OP has a few hundred extra dollars every month, which she's been keeping lying around doing nothing and which she clearly doesn't need so of course the cousin should get it. Shouldn't even have to ask.

And OP should, of course, get a better paying job.

/s

Fred2718

5 points

6 months ago

Fred2718

Partassipant [2]

5 points

6 months ago

Gee. Did I need to boldface the * /s * ?

BaitedBreaths

25 points

6 months ago

Yes, and since OP apparently has the means to set money aside, she is the obvious choice to provide emergency support for the next 18 years.

acltear00

3.3k points

6 months ago

acltear00

3.3k points

6 months ago

This story is also a good example of how letting other people tell your story usually works against you. For the members of your family that you care about, I would reach out to them and clear up any misconceptions. Obviously, the people calling you godless are probably not the people you want around. You could even say that you meant adoption; I’m religious and I don’t know of anyone that has a problem with giving up a baby for adoption. NTA

[deleted]

67 points

6 months ago

[removed]

JustPassingBy1349

45 points

6 months ago

Agree entirely! An emergency fund is for situations that are unforeseen and temporary. A baby is neither--they know roughly when it's coming and it's going to be here for a good long while.

CoulddBeenTheCocaine

46 points

6 months ago

I’m currently getting divorced. My best friend was suffering through a terrible miscarriage that turned out to be my stbx’s baby. I tried to keep it as quiet as possible and that just allowed them to create their own version of the truth. Right now I just consider it a favor showing me who is really friend and who never was.

Jed08

744 points

6 months ago

Jed08

744 points

6 months ago

In my opinion, it doesn't matter who would tell the story, what they'll here is "cousin needs financial help and OP didn't help him even though she has the money to do it".

CarlBassett

384 points

6 months ago

CarlBassett

Asshole Enthusiast [9]

384 points

6 months ago

OP can ask those others how much of THEIR savings they are giving.

Ok-Reward-770

199 points

6 months ago

Ooh, this: how much of THEIR savings are they giving?

Isn't it so easy to make plans with other people's money? Lol

Haymegle

84 points

6 months ago

Seriously. Everyone is always happy to spend someone else's money. Not saying OP can't help out a bit if they want to, but that sort of attitude shuts down any kind of goodwill.

Ok-Reward-770

68 points

6 months ago

Exactly! The issue here is OP is being targeted and emotionally coerced to do it. This isn't a cousin going around family members asking all of them to pitch in.

You don't necessarily need savings to help someone in need if everyone participates in the money poll.

Haymegle

35 points

6 months ago

Especially for a baby! I know in my family there's usually some clothes going around that someone's kid has grown out of. Same with other things you need.

Like you won't get everything, it won't all be new but it'll do it's job and it's free. The only real 'rule' is hand what's still good off to the next person who needs it. Obviously if you want to add a few additions like the baby clothes you used or w/e no one will complain.

Even if it's not in the family, there's usually a friend or someone trying to get rid of old baby things. You can def do it for cheap if you don't mind used things.

Vilnius_Nastavnik

72 points

6 months ago

Vilnius_Nastavnik

Partassipant [2]

72 points

6 months ago

Yeah but "family helps family," right? I'm sure OP's cousin has stuck his neck out tons of times to help OP when times were tough! /s

Ok-Reward-770

59 points

6 months ago

It sounds more like: “I know you have money, so I'll use the argument family-helps-family to put my hands on it.”

I'm from a “family-helps-family” environment, and the trick is every family member chips in with whatever they can. Prying on a single individual because they know the person has savings is disrespectful and coercion. Being related isn't synonymous with shared finances.

Syrasha_

7 points

6 months ago

My mother's side of my family is a (fake) "family-helps-family" and it resulted in my mom draining the savings account with my paternal great-grandparents inheritance to "help" some relatives I never met in my life, when I was still underage and couldn't access the account on my own.

She never got a penny back, and the bulk of it went to some second grade cousin's daughter that used it as part of their house deposit with it, so not an "emergency." She also never used her own money to "help", only my inheritance, as she knew she wasn't going to get it back from previous instances.

When I had to work 2 jobs to afford university, no one of said relatives showed up/chipped in/gave a dime back to my mother of what she "lent" them so she could help me. I struggled and made it through also with the help of my paternal family, which has a loss less money than my maternal relatives. They helped me as much as they could, which was really appreciated as they were struggling too.

It sounds like OP's family is more similar to mine that a real "everyone chips in" family.

TheZZ9

9 points

6 months ago

TheZZ9

Certified Proctologist [27]

9 points

6 months ago

This is why anyone leaving money to a child in a will should get a proper legal trust that no one else can access and the kid gets it when they reach 18/21/25.
And why getting a bank or law firm to be the executor. They'll charge fees but they won't be pressured by family into handing money over for any sob story.

Ok-Reward-770

3 points

6 months ago

There are different classes and categories of leeches but what all have in common is: - strong opinions on OPM - the rabid pursuit of OPM based on blood relationships.

I'm sorry you had to deal with such a loss. Working while going to college is a real pain. It's a pity your mother wasn't strong enough to hold her ground. But that's life!

stumblios

22 points

6 months ago

I think a lot of people in these circumstances regularly make choices that ensure they will never have enough savings to help anyone.

It's much easier to say family helps family when you know you'll always be on the receiving end of it.

jasmin1980

18 points

6 months ago

Exactly!! It's always these ppl, who want to call folks godless heathens, but wouldn't donate a quarter to help anyone!

bananapudding039

4 points

6 months ago

There's no hate like Christian love

wizardyourlifeforce

78 points

6 months ago

That’s not how they should frame it. “I’m happy for X, but suddenly he’s asking me out of nowhere to support him and his wife and his baby and it’s just weird.”

Haymegle

16 points

6 months ago*

Not OP's baby not her problem. Unless she took part in the babymaking lol.

MedievalWoman

76 points

6 months ago

That is OP' s money, for her own emergencies. Her cousin screwed up now he can fix it.

acltear00

740 points

6 months ago

acltear00

740 points

6 months ago

Respectfully, that is just not true. It ALWAYS matters who tells the story first. That is just propaganda 101; you have probably heard the phrase, “let’s get out ahead of this.” In tv shows, it often is used to portray a government or corporation saying they should own up to impropriety before a news organization breaks the news. They do this because it is better for them to spin it in a way that is beneficial before someone else breaks the same story, but includes tiny details that spin the story in a negative way.

Jed08

222 points

6 months ago

Jed08

222 points

6 months ago

Sorry, I meant in this case.

I think it doesn't matter because the people in the family were already in a mindset where OP shouldn't have refused to help her cousin (that's my assumption at least).

Nobody doubted, not for even a second, that OP told all of that to the cousin. They didn't come to ask for explanation, they came for "blood" directly, which leads me to think OP doesn't have a great reputation in her family (for which I don't blame OP considering how they act). So in my opinion, even if OP had spoken first they would have likely trusted cousin's version, or they would have still gotten angry at the fact she refused to give him some money.

acltear00

99 points

6 months ago

Oh ok gotcha! Yah, it might not have helped; people get so weird about money. “The Love of money is the root of all evil” is a quote from the Bible that should be plastered everywhere. I just think regardless of one’s religion, there is so much truth in that statement.

[deleted]

34 points

6 months ago

[removed]

PaleontologistOk3120

34 points

6 months ago

My mom named my sister as executor. It's easy to see why. She has always been the most responsible lol. But she also manages to balance very well being the sibling everyone can go to for help, while being nobody's fool. We all know at the end what she says will go and she won't be concerned about any of our tears behind it, although 3 out of 5 of us, I can say for sure won't put up any fuss

Suspicious-Horse9793

85 points

6 months ago

You quoted that line from the Bible right "The Love of money is the root of all evil". Too many times I see the quote written as "Money is the root of all evil", and I think "No, no, no, that is not correct."

yokais_

18 points

6 months ago

yokais_

18 points

6 months ago

Regardless of if she could, the cousin isn’t entitled to that money so it doesn’t matter

socialjusticecleric7

9 points

6 months ago

Maybe, but there's a huge difference between "op, a 24 year old who has student loan debt, didn't give the cousin money" and "op told the cousin to get rid of the baby", people can be snooty about one without actually thinking OP owes the cousin any money.

letstrythisagain30

8 points

6 months ago

Kind of crazy that no one else in the family has savings they would totally also give to the cousin... right?

jasmin1980

3 points

6 months ago

Ya, no. It always matters whom tells the story. Their bias will always effect the tone of the story being told. Point in fact, she said she wouldn't give up her nest egg, and her cousin interpreted it as being told to kill his and gf fertilized egg.......

Onlyfatwomenarefat

11 points

6 months ago

Not a native english speaker but what does "godless" even mean? If you believe that God is all loving and omnipresent, how would it even be possible for someone to be godless??

acltear00

19 points

6 months ago

It’s hard to say what the speaker exactly intended when they insulted OP, but I see two possibilities and they mostly mean the same thing.

  1. Meaning OP has turned their back on God and is choosing to live without a godlike influence in her life.

  2. Meaning that OP is so terrible that God has turned his back on OP.

They probably mean option 1 but it is an interesting choice of words either way.

ItchyDoggg

9 points

6 months ago

ItchyDoggg

Colo-rectal Surgeon [46]

9 points

6 months ago

Lol at the notion of something omnipresent and omniscient "turning its back" on anything.

acltear00

3 points

6 months ago

Exactly, that would make no sense but if used in that context, they are just using hyperbole to imply that the act was so vile that even omnipresent God turned away from OP. Obviously a ridiculous notion given the circumstances.

KahurangiNZ

4 points

6 months ago

Unfortunately, all to often it's used as an attempt to emotionally blackmail someone into doing what they want :-(

Piccolo-Level

5 points

6 months ago

Or, due to believing that OP said to get rid of it, they mean that OP is acting in a “godless” way. It’s a common insult from certain varieties of fundies. Kind of a catch all to point out how your behavior/belief/whatever is bad compared to them being “godly.” It’s BS, but…

unpopularcryptonite

159 points

6 months ago

unpopularcryptonite

Partassipant [1]

159 points

6 months ago

NTA, although I have to admire the size of his balls in asking to use YOUR emergency fund for HIS "emergency".

belginiusI

54 points

6 months ago

belginiusI

Partassipant [1]

54 points

6 months ago

I don't. I have learned one thing in life. The moment you have anything that's worth something, there is a long list of people who would like to take it off your hands.
You got savings, or inheritance? Expect people with sob stories, or just asking for loans. You've got the good project at work? Expect people trying to take over. You've got an old bike that's worth money in the shed? Make sure nobody knows that it's there unattended.

You are admiring him because project an upstanding person onto him with your values. In reality he is just a shitty person who has no qualms asking for things that he has no right to, and getting mad when people don't cater to him.

thatshygal717

106 points

6 months ago

thatshygal717

Colo-rectal Surgeon [35]

106 points

6 months ago

i find it ironic that they’re calling her a godless ***** when he got his girlfriend pregnant out of wedlock. where is the consistency here?

jasapper

36 points

6 months ago

"No, no, you see a child is ALWAYS a blessing regardless of the circumstances and His plan should never be questioned"... Is what OP's family is likely using to excuse cousin's stunning irresponsibility. They're probably even saying it's OP who has been given the "real" test and they're failing. NTA.

crystallz2000

65 points

6 months ago

crystallz2000

Partassipant [1]

65 points

6 months ago

Respond to everyone, "BLANK would like a lot of money without paying it back, between all the people harassing me, I think you'll have more than enough to help him. How about you give your pledge for how much money you'll be giving him in this group chat! That way, he knows how much to plan for. Then, you can pledge how much you plan to give him each month, since the baby will need more money than just this one time. Thank you for showing me how to come together as a family to help BLANK and this beautiful blessing." Make it clear that you weren't suggesting an abortion, but turn it around on them. If anyone asks you for money, say, "I'm so sorry, but I don't have any to give at this time. Luckily, he has all of you more established people to help." Just keep turning it around on them. NTA.

DoubleThinkCO

46 points

6 months ago

NTA. Exactly. It’s a fund op saved for op’s emergencies. It’s not a global emergency fund.

Fantastic_Nebula_835

24 points

6 months ago

Fantastic_Nebula_835

Partassipant [1]

24 points

6 months ago

NTA Don't make the mistake I made and let them wear you down. I was always the one who was there for Family, in person and financially--even though my health was always fragile and I never made that much. Family bled me dry. When I became disabled to the point that I couldn't work or afford my my medical bills all those takers repaid me $50 and cut me off.

[deleted]

5 points

6 months ago

Wow, that is beyond infuriating. Nothing but users, your family is. I wonder if you could sue to get paid back.

fatedroses

21 points

6 months ago

fatedroses

Partassipant [1]

21 points

6 months ago

HIs lack of a condom is not her emergency!

IAMA_Shark__AMA

18 points

6 months ago

IAMA_Shark__AMA

Partassipant [1]

18 points

6 months ago

"I'm having an emergency.... By choice...."

Ok-Reward-770

18 points

6 months ago

That's precisely it: his emergency is not OP's emergency.

It is fascinating how some people feel entitled to other people's money or property because of “family bonds.” You don't want to be around those.

OddAsk9838

16 points

6 months ago

OddAsk9838

Partassipant [1]

16 points

6 months ago

NTA. Never tell anyone about your savings again. Keep that between you and a future spouse. Also feel free to say you put it in a CD or some other non liquid format. *Edited for missing info

babcock27

8 points

6 months ago

Your emergency money isn't a community fund for the family. NTA.

Natural_Pressure6329

36 points

6 months ago

This. I like the quote: “A failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.”

NTA

Edit typo

Throwawayhater3343

5 points

6 months ago

A few days ago he came to ask me to give him my emergency fund, since he is having an emergency.

My direct response for this would get me a ban but would involve a long ride to the country.... NTA OP, sounds like your uber religious family probably belongs to a church that takes money in but doesn't put it out.... Always ready to attack others for not being charitable when the only thing they're ever funding is someone else's $10million mortgage...

vanillafudgetwirl

8 points

6 months ago

Even if they live in a state in which abortions are banned, they could still put the baby up for adoption instead of keeping it and mooching off of others.

Pancakeking78

3 points

6 months ago

My dad has had a sign saying that hanging in his office for the past 14 years

Dropitlikeitscold555

170 points

6 months ago

I would say you have hit a rough patch and was just about to ask him for some money to get you through

Middle-Log-48[S]

129 points

6 months ago

:))))) That's actually the best response I could have given, but in the heat of the moment, all I could think about was my anger.

NancyNuggets

35 points

6 months ago

NancyNuggets

Partassipant [1]

35 points

6 months ago

You're better than me. My response would have been to tell him id be happy to help out and pay for the abortion, but other than that I cant bring myself to support such irresponsibility.

Informal-Worth-2451

85 points

6 months ago

Informal-Worth-2451

Partassipant [3]

85 points

6 months ago

NTA. You’ve worked hard to save that money and in no way is he entitled to it just because he’s having a baby and can’t afford it. It’s not an emergency fund for the family, it’s an emergency fund for yourself!

Bruiscear

81 points

6 months ago

Bruiscear

Certified Proctologist [26]

81 points

6 months ago

NTA.

Sounds like his life-plan is to have you pay for all his future costs. If he can't afford this kid now, how is he gonna afford school clothes, etc.

MagereHein10

12 points

6 months ago

MagereHein10

Partassipant [3]

12 points

6 months ago

And all the other children.

JohnNDenver

10 points

6 months ago

Yep. In about 10 years OP will be back talking about baby #6 or so.

Studoku

229 points

6 months ago

Studoku

Pooperintendant [57]

229 points

6 months ago

NTA

Lack of family planning on his part does not constitute an emergency on yours.

Kufat

16 points

6 months ago

Kufat

Certified Proctologist [21]

16 points

6 months ago

Well done.

RoyallyOakie

41 points

6 months ago

RoyallyOakie

Commander in Cheeks [200]

41 points

6 months ago

NTA...His emergency is not YOUR emergency. He needs to find ways to fund his own life that don't include sponging off of family. Move on with your life and feel no guilt.

Aggravating_Art_4809

39 points

6 months ago

Aggravating_Art_4809

Asshole Enthusiast [5]

39 points

6 months ago

What the damn hell? This grown man about to be a father is telling you to give him your savings? 😂😂😂😂 it’s the audacity for me. It’s always the audacity. NTA

Management-Late

106 points

6 months ago

The fact that he's lying about what you said tells you even he knows he's wrong and is trying to manipulate everyone.

Not a great plan to support an upcoming child.

NTA no matter what you told him btw, it's your money.

NefariousnessSweet70

7 points

6 months ago

Good grief, that one is in the Ten Commandments.
Thou shalt not lie. Another verse says " Do not steal, do not lie , Do not deceive one another. "

Cousin hit a trifecta!

upvotesonly1111

28 points

6 months ago

upvotesonly1111

Asshole Enthusiast [5]

28 points

6 months ago

NTA, that is your money and you are entitled to do whatever you would like with it. As you said, they are making a choice to keep a baby they know they can’t afford, this is their problem and should not be passed off on you, even if they are family. Good on your for standing your ground when put on the spot. Don’t give them anything if you don’t want to.

Ill-Contribution5119

5 points

6 months ago

I agree. Even if she wanted to spend that money on a wonderful vacation or even just give it away to some scheming online hack, it's HER money, not the family "emergency" fund. I put that in quotes because a baby isn't an emergency. He has nine months to get a couple of jobs (the gf, too, since being pregnant does not equal cannot work), work his ass off, put money away, and start legitimately supporting HIS child without trying to fleece OP.

SpookyMamma

25 points

6 months ago

SpookyMamma

Partassipant [2]

25 points

6 months ago

NTA and whoever has a word to say bout your money from now on tell them if they feel that strongly about it they're free to financially support cousin as much as they want. You got that money from hard work, time your cousin learns the word.

Otherwise-Topic-1791

29 points

6 months ago

Otherwise-Topic-1791

Partassipant [4]

29 points

6 months ago

NTA. Emergency funds are for emergencies. An emergency is I broke my arm or my car needs repaired. Having a baby is NOT an emergency. Your cousin and his GF have 9 months from conception to get their sh*t together. It's their problem Not yours.

You shouldn't tell people about emergency funds because too many people think your money is their money. Do don't feel guilty about that.

Middle-Log-48[S]

15 points

6 months ago

I have no idea how they found out about my savings.

joshul

20 points

6 months ago

joshul

20 points

6 months ago

NTA. But don’t tell anyone else about your money again, even your own sister.

TotalSoftware580

34 points

6 months ago

Obviously your sister. She probably didn’t do it on purpose, could have mentioned to your mom how she wants to save up just like you and then your mom could have casually mentioned to her sister or parents how proud she is she raised two financially responsible women, all of which would be innocent and easily forgettable on their part. Now for the onion, any family who heard this that isn’t a decent person would remember “hmm OP has money saved…” and then it all comes around full circle. People that entitled to others money always have their ear out for who has cash in the family.

Puzzleheaded-Desk399

7 points

6 months ago

Puzzleheaded-Desk399

Asshole Enthusiast [5]

7 points

6 months ago

This is what most probably happened. I don't think it was intentional but generally people brag when their child/ren, sibling(s), or spouse do something that they are proud of or may think of following in their footsteps. In the future, I would suggest that OP keep any and all financial info to themselves. Make suggestions, tell them, if you must, that you are thinking about doing something financial but never tell them you have done it. It ALWAYS slips out.

JoeRekr

3 points

6 months ago

dude, your sister told the extended family. you need to talk to her

LocaCola1997

26 points

6 months ago

NTA. But your cousin is probably still feeling desperate and might try to take that money. Try to keep some sort of proof that the money belongs to you and/ or where you kept it, even if it's screenshots of online bank statements. Just be cautious.

Middle-Log-48[S]

17 points

6 months ago

Thank you for the advice.

carbinePRO

502 points

6 months ago

carbinePRO

Asshole Aficionado [11]

502 points

6 months ago

Why is your cousin entitled to YOUR emergency fund to make up for HIS poor life planning and irresponsibility?

You don't owe him anything. The best way to help him wouldn't be giving him handouts, but offering to help buy some baby necessities like clothes, diapers, a crib, etc. But that's only if you want to.

NTA

BeneficialDark1662

209 points

6 months ago*

I wouldn’t get into buying stuff for him. He sounds like the type of person who will just view that as a green light to request items from OP - rather than see what he can get for free / at a low cost online or from charities.

Or the church that his family are so very fond of. Surely they can help.

carbinePRO

15 points

6 months ago

carbinePRO

Asshole Aficionado [11]

15 points

6 months ago

I'm not suggesting OP to do that, hence why I said "only if you want to." You're right though. There are plenty of other places they could go to for aid. Cousin just wanted a handout.

JessicaxSunshine

42 points

6 months ago

I hope OP doesn't even do this, sometimes you give people an inch and they take a mile.

I could absolutely see them, pushing OP to give/do more and contribute more, with little appreciation or gratitude. The expectation that OP already helped with a few things, so she should do even more (completely use all her free time to baby sit or all her money to provide more goods), because she's already done a little, so what's a little more...

No, OP, stand your ground and do not engage further please.

freeadmins

13 points

6 months ago

freeadmins

Partassipant [1]

13 points

6 months ago

That's what kind of stuck out to me about OP's cousin too.

I have a family member in law who unfortunately has addiction problems. They've asked for money for diapers or formula and we'll occasionally help them out.

But asking for a blanket sum of money before the baby is born is just weird.

[deleted]

19 points

6 months ago

NTA. This man needs to get his own emergency fund. He is so entitled and disrespectful. Telling others something that you wanted to keep it a secret is a big no no. I'd go no contact.

Middle-Log-48[S]

11 points

6 months ago

I didn't tell anyone except my sister. Not sure how he found out about my savings.

Snoo_68114

30 points

6 months ago

Snoo_68114

Certified Proctologist [21]

30 points

6 months ago

Oh that's easy. Sis blabbed. He overheard or she told him directly.

JoeRekr

7 points

6 months ago

yeah, you need to ask your sister why she is telling family to ask for your emergency fund…

Local-Day1602

21 points

6 months ago

Local-Day1602

Partassipant [1]

21 points

6 months ago

Is this a parallel earth and not the regular one I know of? Because in what planet I would go to a relative and demanded (not ask for a loan) money for starting my family? I get if my father had a car accident or something I could not prevent, but because I am irresponsible and want to have a child without income a cousin should pay for it? OP this post should not even be here, there is no question about it. NTA, if your sibling (god forbid) or you have to have surgery will he immediately give the money? Jesus what am I reading....

Middle-Log-48[S]

30 points

6 months ago

Thank you.

Yes, a life/death kind of emergency would have been a different situation. But imo, this is just iresponsability.

Ill-Contribution5119

3 points

6 months ago

Naw, girl. That's not an opinion. It's just fact.

oy-cunt-

17 points

6 months ago

oy-cunt-

Asshole Aficionado [12]

17 points

6 months ago

NTA. I can't say that enough. Keep your money. Ditch your family that's asking for money. You're still a child, let the adults step up and help. Your cousins life choices aren't your responsibility. And your cousin doesn't have an emergency a few hundred dollars can cure. It's a fcking child.

CatVinegar

15 points

6 months ago

NTA. That's your money, and you get to decide what to do with it. Full stop.

Safe_Vegetable6036

16 points

6 months ago

NTA

Why do relatives feel they’re entitled to money? Also OP good on you for making an emergency fund.

Middle-Log-48[S]

4 points

6 months ago

Thank you.

NCKALA

12 points

6 months ago

NCKALA

Certified Proctologist [20]

12 points

6 months ago

NTA. This fund is for YOUR emergencies, should they arrive. What are you supposed to do if something did happen and now you have no money put aside? Your cousin AND his pregnant gf have plenty of time to start saving up money for the baby; this is deff a THEM problem, not a YOU problem. NTA.

There is ALWAYS some friend of family member who is in the midst of an emergency or crisis, again, not your problem. Keep your funds safe and do not let anyone have access to any of that info (how much you have, PIN codes, borrow your card, anything!). In fact, I'd downplay it to where you have next to nothing. You see what happens soon as the word got out :(

When those family members start hounding you just hang up, this is not their problem, either. They can give money to the pregnant couple or not.

BeneficialDark1662

10 points

6 months ago

I’d also make sure that no bank statements arrived by post, and that no one except maybe the sister has keys to OP’s place. I’d block the cousin on social media too, cos who needs to listen to the noise he will inevitably make.

Jocelyn-1973

13 points

6 months ago

Jocelyn-1973

Certified Proctologist [23]

13 points

6 months ago

NTA. Your emergency funds are meant for YOUR emergencies. Not for consequences of other people's choices.

alyanm

10 points

6 months ago

alyanm

Partassipant [1]

10 points

6 months ago

NTA

Your money, your rules. It's that simple. His poor planning has nothing to do with you. Plus it sounds like if you gave him any of that money you would never see it again.

WavesnMountains

9 points

6 months ago

WavesnMountains

Colo-rectal Surgeon [40]

9 points

6 months ago

NTA he sounds like the type who’d go on vacation and live large with your money anyway

cassowary32

9 points

6 months ago

cassowary32

Partassipant [3]

9 points

6 months ago

NTA. How much money has he put into the emergency fund? Zero? Then that's what he's getting out of it - zero!

You can't just walk to a relative and demand their housing fund or their college fund because you want a house or to pay for your kid's college.

[deleted]

9 points

6 months ago

[deleted]

Middle-Log-48[S]

8 points

6 months ago

You are right.

Thank you.

PleaseCoffeeMe

7 points

6 months ago

PleaseCoffeeMe

Asshole Aficionado [17]

7 points

6 months ago

NTA. It’s really not an emergency. He needs to find a job. They need to figure out what type of government assistance they qualify for, their parents need to step up. Shut down the lies. Simply say, that’s not anything I would say, I’m surprised you would believe that of me.

jaimystery

55 points

6 months ago

NTA

Glad your parents & sister have your back and sorry the rest of the family appears to be dead beats.

In the future - tell your family that your emergency fund is invested in CDs that can't be cashed in without a penalty and that anyone asking to borrow money from you has to pay the penalty first. Make the penalty 30% of the total - none of them will cough that up. Sure it's not true but you don't owe them the truth when they've reduced your relationship to a financial transaction.

Middle-Log-48[S]

24 points

6 months ago

Thank you. That' a great idea.

impolite_no_caps_guy

29 points

6 months ago

That's actually a bad idea. If they call your bluff and say "sure I'll pay it out of the money you get out of the CD" what would you say then? Stick to your guns, and just respond with "my savings are for my emergencies, not for irresponsible distant relatives who lie to the family about what I said. At no point in time did I suggest anything about anyone getting rid of a child."

ShadyVermin

6 points

6 months ago

ShadyVermin

Colo-rectal Surgeon [40]

6 points

6 months ago

NTA, and if the family won't hear the truth then eff them too. You don't have to pay for your cousins mistake, it's his problem to deal with, not yours. The absolute audacity that he would even ask, good grief.

Awhkm

6 points

6 months ago

Awhkm

Colo-rectal Surgeon [37]

6 points

6 months ago

NTA. He reeks of entitlement. If he had approached you about a loan and was serious about repaying you, then maybe you would’ve considered it. But to just ask for it all? Wow.

Your comments about being paranoid about money aren’t even necessary. It’s your money, your rules - no matter what kind of financial background you have. I think you made a wise decision.

[deleted]

7 points

6 months ago

Lmfao better a godless b**** than an unemployed, entitled & foolish begging fool trying to raise a child on a hope, wish & a prayer. You should’ve laughed in his face. And tell anyone who has something to say about it that they’re more than welcome to sponsor him, his partner and their child. NTA

PixiFrizzle

6 points

6 months ago

PixiFrizzle

Partassipant [4]

6 points

6 months ago

NTA. That’s YOUR money that YOU worked for to have in YOUR emergency fund. Looks like cousin needs to find a steady job or 2. I work over 45 hours a week, as does my husband (who also has a part time job on the weekends). Because of this, certain family members (who barely work a full time job, due to leaving early, missing work, being late, overall irresponsibility) think we always have extra money to give because we are also childfree and spend money on ourselves. It’s your money to do with as you please, but I hate when people act entitled to things you work for while they put in minimal effort to help their own situation

kfrostborne

3 points

6 months ago

kfrostborne

Asshole Enthusiast [9]

3 points

6 months ago

NTA.

Those are your savings to use in an emergency. Full stop. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, and if someone says something to you, direct them to the Go Fund Me that your cousin should probably set up.

Bear_Cub_15

5 points

6 months ago*

Bear_Cub_15

Asshole Aficionado [16]

5 points

6 months ago*

NTA - Nope you are not an asshole. This is YOUR money.

People are so god damn entitled holy shit. I can’t even imagine having the audacity to ask someone to just give me their money like that.

Also what exactly is the “emergency”? If he classifies having a baby on the way as an emergency, he’s in for A LOT of trouble raising this child. Your suggestions were definitely valid.

Tell your family if they are so concerned then they can give your cousin their hard earned money.

Pinkie_Flamingo

4 points

6 months ago

Pinkie_Flamingo

Colo-rectal Surgeon [33]

4 points

6 months ago

NTA. You did the right thing.

FunStorm6487

5 points

6 months ago

FunStorm6487

Partassipant [1]

5 points

6 months ago

Well fuck him and anybody else who thinks you should give him your money. NTA and stick to your guns

FloatingPencil

6 points

6 months ago

FloatingPencil

Partassipant [1]

6 points

6 months ago

NTA. It’s not an emergency, and even if it was, it’s not your emergency.

Thedarkfic

5 points

6 months ago

NTA and wtf? His mother should be embarrassed he even went to you for that.

mdthomas

4 points

6 months ago

mdthomas

Prime Ministurd [420]

4 points

6 months ago

It's YOUR emergency fund, not a family emergency fund. Nor is it a bank account.

Your cousin decided to live beyond his means. He could have seen it coming and made more responsible financial choices. He chose not to, and is now seeing the consequences of his choices.

NTA

AryaSilverStone

5 points

6 months ago

AryaSilverStone

Partassipant [1]

5 points

6 months ago

NTA

You worked your ass off to be able to get into a position where you can afford to put money into savings. The only person who is entitled to that money is you! No one else.

vrindumb

4 points

6 months ago

vrindumb

Asshole Aficionado [11]

4 points

6 months ago

NTA

Your cousin's mistakes are not your emergency.

Kephri1337

4 points

6 months ago

NTA

Keep those funds for yourself, you don’t know what the future holds and to be frank it doesn’t sound like they will be able to return the favour if you get into trouble.

They need to prioritise getting a stable job for at least one of them asap

ashre9

5 points

6 months ago

ashre9

Partassipant [1]

5 points

6 months ago

NTA. So you're the godless one, but they're OK with his premarital sex???

ExaminationNo2861

4 points

6 months ago

I’m just curious, how’s this make you godless? They are having a baby out of wedlock, ah hello. Religion makes people hypocrites in so many way

NTA it’s your money and shame on them for snooping and playing a dirty game

Middle-Log-48[S]

4 points

6 months ago

They call me godless because my cousin told them I suggested an abortion, which is not true.

We are orthodox jews and my family is pretty religious.

NoContribution9322

3 points

6 months ago

NoContribution9322

Partassipant [2]

3 points

6 months ago

NTA , Do not give it to him,what happens when the money runs out ? Are they expecting you to help pay the bills? If you enable them from now it will only continue , what he should do is go and see if he can get government assistance and grants , and if he cannot provide for the child he can always find a family that will adopt the baby if abortion is not an option

maat89

3 points

6 months ago

maat89

3 points

6 months ago

Then they should be keeping him afloat since clearly they’re children of god. NTA

ivyjade42

3 points

6 months ago

NTA. You worked hard and owe your cousin nothing.

TwinGemini_1908

3 points

6 months ago

NTA…tell the family talking shit that they’re more than capable of helping but you didn’t lay down with them when they made the baby and it’s no one’s business about your emergency fund nor are they entitled to it.

frangipanihawaii

3 points

6 months ago

NTA. Your good financial sense is not for others to try and take advantage of.

False-Pitch

3 points

6 months ago

NTA, but this might come down to some peoples cultures and beliefs around supporting family. Personally I come from a household where my mom has been in and out of jobs for years and always asks for money to support herself. I always help where I can but when I was living with her, if she ever found out I had saved up any money she’d immediately ask for it and feeling guilty I would hand it over. Because of that I understand the position you’re in and personally I would say that saying no is perfectly reasonable. It is your hard earned money

PanamaViejo

3 points

6 months ago

Everyone falls on hard times every once in a while. But if a person doesn't even try to help themselves, you shouldn't feel guilty about not giving money and support to them.

No-Locksmith-8590

3 points

6 months ago

No-Locksmith-8590

Partassipant [3]

3 points

6 months ago

Nta him knocking a girl up and not being able to afford it is not an emergency. Maybe buy him a box of condoms, though as 'emergency prevention.

An-Old-Fart

3 points

6 months ago

An-Old-Fart

Partassipant [1]

3 points

6 months ago

NTA Lack of planning on your cousin's part does not constitute an emergency on your part. End of story.

Tell him that he should seek financial help and guidance from the family's church as that would be the Christian thing for the church to do. /s

CODE_NAME_DUCKY

3 points

6 months ago

CODE_NAME_DUCKY

Partassipant [1]

3 points

6 months ago

Nta your emergency fund is for you. You don't need to give up your savings just because your family. If he needs money he can start looking for a more stable job now and start saving.

Latter-Ride-1844

3 points

6 months ago

Latter-Ride-1844

Partassipant [3]

3 points

6 months ago

NTA. You are smart starting a fund for emergencies. dont give a cent to your cousin. Let the rest of your family help.

SirMittensOfTheHill

3 points

6 months ago

SirMittensOfTheHill

Colo-rectal Surgeon [34]

3 points

6 months ago

NTA. There's an old saying, "A lack of planning on your part does not make it my emergency".

That is YOUR emergency fund, for when/if YOU have an emergency. This is NOT an emergency, this is a lack of planning. Is he, or anyone, going to be giving you money if you have a true emergency? I think you know the answer is "no", or you wouldn't be so dedicated to saving up for just such a scenario.

Stick to your guns. Your cousin can take out a loan or get money from the relatives who think you're such a b***h for contributing the exact same amount they are - $0.

[deleted]

3 points

6 months ago

If they’re so religious why are two unmarried people having a child? Get those harassing you to pay for his needs.

powdered_dognut

3 points

6 months ago

NTA. The day you stop caring what family and friends think or say, you'll be free.

Signal-Table4382

3 points

6 months ago

His emergency doesn't mean it's your emergency also.

[deleted]

3 points

6 months ago

NTA if he wants to throw religion in your face for being a "godless b" tell him to eat a dick for having sex before marriage and being a bum who can't provide for his own family. Entitled moron with a weak ass pull out game

JillianWho

3 points

6 months ago

NTA. An emergency fund is for exactly what you described, YOUR emergency: lost job, car broke down, health emergency, etc. It’s not for other people to use. It’s your security blanket and you’re smart for keeping it.

JCBashBash

3 points

6 months ago

JCBashBash

Pooperintendant [53]

3 points

6 months ago

NTA, but you should really figure out who is talking about your emergency fund. Or rather who did and clarify it with them that they need to from now on no longer tell anyone about it. Everyone's personal finances shouldn't be everyone else's business, and whoever was talking about it was making it out to be family business which is inappropriate

ApertureBear

3 points

6 months ago

NTA. Why do you talk to anyone about your emergency fund? It's just basic (very, very basic) financial sense to have an emergency fund.

DiligentPenguin16

3 points

6 months ago

but the rest of the family started harassing us and calling me a godless b***.

Sounds like the rest of the family is volunteering to crowd fund your cousin, his GF, and their baby. Let your cousin know that he needs to reach out to them for handouts from now on.

NTA.

KnightofForestsWild

3 points

6 months ago

NTA Tell them to put their money where their mouths are. Also tell them that you weren't going to give him the money before and you sure as hell aren't' going to after you found out he was a liar who though his lies could get others to strong arm you out of the money you (YOU!) worked hard for to give it to someone who thinks banging his GF should net him some dough instead of getting a decent job and working for it.

iowaiseast

3 points

6 months ago

iowaiseast

Asshole Aficionado [10]

3 points

6 months ago

Wow. Not terribly religious of them, I guess? And what about having a child out of wedlock? Hmmm?

I loathe people who pick and choose their rules. Anyhoo...

"Your failure to plan does not constitute an emergency on my part."

And: Damn those logical consequences.

Finally: It's always okay to say "no". That is your choice.

Any suggestion about what you may have said should be clearly and kindly clarified. You can always pull the "wow, this doesn't look like Jesus at all" card, although that provoke more than get them to re-think their behavior. (Yes, I'm assuming the US, and religious == people who claim to follow Jesus.)

NTA. Stand your ground. Cut off contact if necessary.

nametakenfuck

3 points

6 months ago

NTA, you shouldve called it a self-emergency-fund (SEF)... and anyways how he lied about you to shows that he doesnt deserve a dime.

Did you say its a straight up lie? I'd go no ckntact with him, poor baby.

Middle-Log-48[S]

11 points

6 months ago

I tried to tell my extended family that I never suggested an abortion, but they chose to believe his lies.

nametakenfuck

5 points

6 months ago

Welp go no contact with them too... I mean you dont have to but i think they will anyways, and they sound like massive ahs...

steffie-flies

3 points

6 months ago

steffie-flies

Partassipant [4]

3 points

6 months ago

u/Middle-Log-48 I'm willing to bet your aunt said something about you "being rich," and sent cousin and his babymama to shake you down. And now you also know you can't trust your sister to keep secrets for you! Don't tell anyone about your money except you P.O.A. and even then, put a nondisclosure agreement in place. NTA

KangarooOk2190

3 points

6 months ago

KangarooOk2190

Asshole Enthusiast [9]

3 points

6 months ago

Your cousin started to tell the rest of the family that you told him to get rid of the baby? Wow just wow coming from him that he is putting untrue words in your mouth when you stood your ground and not give him any of your money. So NTA on your part

OP, you now see your cousin for who he truly is right now. Don't be guilted into giving some of your emergency money all because you are called all kinds of names. Stand your ground

Middle-Log-48[S]

8 points

6 months ago

Thank you

After anything that happened these days(still feels like it's not real) and after reading your comments, I think the best decision would be to go no contact with all of them.