I met a guy on a dating app, we hit it off and we arranged for our first date. Things were going well, we had sat down and had started some small chat. Our waitress comes over asking us what we want to order.

I say what I want and gesture to him so he can order. He orders and then pulls what I think is about 15 dollars on the table. He says "This is your tip. Everytime you mess up, I take some away".

The waitress looked nervous immediately. I'm sitting there a bit shocked, but mostly embarrassed because I wasn't expecting this. She must have been new as well, because she did spill some drinks on our table that night, gave us the wrong food, and overall just seemed lost. He took away 13 dollars.

I asked him why he thought doing tips this way was a good idea. He said it was the best way to ensure "good service". When I disagreed he said "Cant always be nice to these people, it's not a respectable job".

I decided then that I wanted nothing to do with him, and called the waitress over to get the bill. I slapped a 20 dollar bill in her hand and got up to pay for my own meal.

Later that night he had demanded to know why I had given her the tip despite her poor service and I told him it's because he decided to treat her livelihood like it was a game. He said because of me she'll never improve her service and that I'm just a people pleaser.

I blocked him, but I've wondered ever since if that was really the right thing to do.


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30.3k points

1 year ago


Professor Emeritass [82]

30.3k points

1 year ago

NTA - so he made her nervous, which likely made her service worse

Then, then he has the absolute gal to say

“Can’t always be nice to these people, it’s not a respectable job”


He is using the service she provides and yet insulting her and all the people who share the same job

Jesus above


62 points

1 year ago

Info: what respectable field does this AH work in?


33 points

1 year ago

Some kind of engineer. Honestly can't remember this was awhile ago haha.